The resurrection of Eye Candy. Just when I had already set my parties of the year in stone, LooseCannon Slim, Liquid Assets and Mo Spoon had to take 2013 out with a bang for their Eye Candy: The Rebirth last Friday. I’m gonna go ahead and say if it wasn’t the most packed I’ve ever seen the Coliseum, it’s at least in the top three. And I can’t give Karruche any credit for it either, because I know folks don’t necessarily know or care about Rihanna’s former sister wife. Plus, she seemed like she didn’t want to be bothered – but the gag for her had to be that the feeling was apparently mutual as folks proved that they were there for the party, not to get a glimpse of Breezy’s arm candy. It was to the gills and beyond up in there and I know Mo, Slim and Phil had to be pleased with how things panned out for them joining forces. And if the triumphant return of the Eye Candy party wasn’t wonderful enough, the Rustic Goat had the grown folks grooving with a live band next door. So you know what that means…y’all can drop your kids off at the Eye Candy Party and chill at the Rustic Goat if you don’t trust your barely legal tear the club up offspring with your car!

Ain’t no party like an AKA party. I made my way to the AKA’s end of the year party and the thing that I love about the black Greek parties – AKA in particular – is that folks from all age groups gather together and get it in as they see fit. The same could be said as the pretty girls and a few golden girls came together to close out 2K13. You had your seasoned sorors sipping and snacking in the back while the spryer ones made their way to the front for stroll sessions. And it appeared to be a blast being had by all at The Machinist Hall – which was packed as all get out. I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t offer a suggestion though. If y’all want to throw your parties in that part of town, you might want to try renting out the Target to give the folks more elbow room. Just kidding but not really.

R&B flavored holiday jam. Well, it was anything but jammed but the folks seemed to catch a groove or two so we’ll stick with the title they gave the show. I’m obsessed with Faith and I can tolerate Kem, so I was expecting to get every bit of life from Friday night’s show at The Chaifetz. But there was some kind of Grinch who stole the Groove feeling around those parts for the show that had me a bit saddened. I think they were trying to be good sports about it, but the talent was either irritated or exhausted. Comedian Damon Williams hosted the show, and he actually gave me more comedy life than I’ve had all year – and was essentially the highlight of the show for me…just by how downright disgraceful he was. He talked about the venue being empty, clowned Faith’s forehead, gave the stage managers the blues for not giving him proper signals and pointed out the stall tactics with everything inside of him – and that didn’t include one sip of his NSFP (not safe for Partyline) act. After Seven was up first, and I don’t know if they had worked a double shift of delivering Christmas gifts for UPS before the show, but the young one was sipping on a 5 Hour Energy on stage in front of everybody by the second song. Help. Kevon Edmonds still has my heart though, because his high tenor voice is everything. And just when I was getting over how sluggish things kicked off, the other one had me singing “Nights Like This I Wish Microphones Wouldn’t Fall” after his motor skills refused to cooperate when he tried to incorporate the mic stand in his choreography. I had been waiting for years and years to see Faith Evans sing her face off in the STL. She was cool, but it was nothing compared to what she’s capable of. After I saw her spraying her throat with somethin’ I surmised she was sick. Then I was blown away, by how great she still sounded. Based on how she said she didn’t want to get her music cut off and kept reminding folks that even though she’s not the headliner, she had a lot of hits, but something tells me there was some backstage tension going on. But nobody could be mad with how she put it down when it was all said and done. Kem was cool too, but there was something about the energy or the emptiness that had me feeling like his heart wasn’t all the way in it.

The best of the mess. Speaking of lists, I promised y’all that I would remind you of the foolishness that went down on the nightlife/entertainment side of things. In hindsight, 2013 was pretty mild. But there were definitely some noteworthy shenanigans. Let me go ahead and refresh your memory.

Worst After party: The Fake Drake Edition. I truly labored about it when it was fresh, so I don’t feel the need to do too much except to say that the janky promoter swag reared its head in the most shady of ways when the folks delivered an Academy Award worthy performance of “Best Ensemble Performance” by a group who knew good and doggone well Drake had already caught the next flight out and wanted no parts of their fugasi after party.

Worst concert. Actually, a collage of throwback performers provided some shaky baky shows over the course of the year. Alexander O’Neal was the hands down worst when he left Sherelle hanging and showed up at The Ambassador when he felt like it and was like “so I can’t do any of my hits?” Help. The show is over. But it didn’t stop him from hunching his way through the crowd and forgetting the words to “Fake.” Christopher Williams was pretty bad, but I think that had more to do with some sort of chest congestion/sinus infection combo than anything else. But he looked so good that I forgave him. Michel’le sinus situation isn’t infected, but when she talks it sure sounds like it - which is why I think she quietly gave me the blues when she came to the Coliseum. Chico DeBarge wasn’t terrible…unless you came to see El DeBarge and weren’t told otherwise. If that’s the case he’s clearly the pits.

Worst Comedy. While most everyone I saw over the year was on repeat as far as their material – especially Chris Tucker – Earthquake’s contribution to the Jokes and Jazz confusion was the low of 2013. I mean…do really you have to let the audience know that they were standing up in their stilettoes for hours because you wouldn’t perform without your money and the promoters were short? That’s downright messy.

ST. LOUIS AMERICAN • JANUARY 2 - 8, 2014C12

Sorors Sibyl, Taina, Myra, Donna, Flora and Camita @ AKAs end of the year party Friday night @ The Machinist Hall

The wonderful women of AKA represented for the pretty girls Friday night @ The Machinist Hll

Phil Assets and MPAC teamed up to take the Eye Candy Party out with a bang. Celebrity guest judge Karrueche Tran and Miss November Countess were just a couple of the beauties @ The Coliseum

Eric Tomlin of Tomlin Enterprises served up the stars as the caterer for the Holiday Jam and comedian Damon Williams was impressed with his skills on the grill

Alphas Tristan and Chuck Deezy rep their frat alongside the AKAs Friday night @ The AKA Year End Party @ The Machinist Hall Photo by Arlis Davis

BJ the DJ and Sparkl of Clear Channel St. Louis and Promoter DA with 90s R&B Group After 7 Friday night @ The Chaifetz Arena

Diamond of Yellow Diamond Boutique and VH1 Reality starlet Deelishis were in the building with rapper Pretty Tony for his party Sunday night @ The Loft Photo by Arlis Davis

Kelly helped her man Dewayne celebrate his birthday with the Umbrella Group Saturday night @ Lola Photo by Arliss Davis

Tricky of Close to Famous with host Larry Hughes as Shaki and T-Luv of the Starpower Friday night @ Last Friday

Sammie and Tianis Marci came through for the Close to Famous Last Friday celebration @ Lotus

Celebrity Swagger Snap of the Week

Devoted “Faithful” Mz Janee of Hot 104.1 spent her birthday chopping it up with original R&B Diva Faith Evans backstage after Faith put it down on stage for her segment of the Holiday Jam Friday night at Chaifetz Arena.

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Photos by Lawrence Bryant