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Celebrating Women is a publication of Family Transition Place and was created as part of the fundraiser luncheon celebration.
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CELEBRATING WOMEN a publication of family transition place
March 8, 2012
Rosita Hallinspiration + energy
Norah Kennedyan interview with FTP’s E.Director
IWD 2012 THEMEconnecting girls,inspiring futures
Segregated by Gender Girls’ Schools in Saudi Arabia
Jade SlaughterFirst: High School,Next: The World.
Women Who ShapeA Community
3 IWD Magazine
a publication of family transition place
4 Letter from the Editor
6 Seven Tips to Boost Your Happiness
12 Norah Kennedy – an Interview with FTP’s Executive Director
14 Change by Choice
10 International Women’s Day – Theme for 2012
9 How Women Can Make a Difference
8 Rosita Hall – Inspiration + Energy
18 Segregated by Gender – Girls’ Schools in Saudi Arabia
20 The Doors of Family Transition Place – A Survivor’s Story
24 Did you know? FTP’s Youth Education.
21Jade Slaughter – First: High School, Next: The World
A WOMAN’S PLACEIS IN THE HOME...
[& THE CLASSROOM & THE BOARDROOM & THE NEWSROOM& PARLIAMENT]
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EDITOR IN CHIEF: Stacey Tarrant
ART DIRECTOR: Liesje DoldersumCONSULTING EDITOR: Jeanette McCurdy CONTRIBUTORS: Sheila Corneil, Lynda Ferneyhough, Norah Kennedy, Kelley Potter, Anne-Marie Pollowy-Toliver, Kathryn MacDuffee, Tony Maxwell, Shelly Sargent, Stacey Tarrant
ADVERTISING SALES: Stacey Coupland, Paulene Deifel, Liesje Doldersum, Tammy Elliott, Manda Jones, Kelly Lee, Mary Maw, Adriana Roche, Shelly Sargent, Jade Slaughter, Stacey Tarrant, Gillian Vanderburgh, Debbie VanWyck
PHOTOGRAPHY: Embrace Photography / Stock
CELEBRATING WOMEN
16 Women Who Shape a Community
4 IWD Magazine
Family Transition Place & International Women’s Day
International Women’s Day has been observed since in the early 1900’s, a time of great expansion and turbulence in the industrialized world that saw booming population growth and the rise of radical ideologies.
•••International Women’s day is a time to celebrate the acts of courage and determination of women in the past and present, and what they have done and continue to do to achieve equality of status. It is a day that commemorates women’s solidarity, and one that focuses on a goal of equal social, economic, and political rights. Sadly, it is also a time to reflect and acknowledge, that some women still face frightening challenges – instead of formal celebrations, they celebrate surviving with their children for ‘just one more day.’ It’s important to remember that while we’ve come a long way, there is still so much more to achieve.
This magazine is a reflection of a community coming together to support a cause – Family Transition Place. I am delighted with how it all came together.
When I dreamed up the idea of creating this inaugural issue of Celebrating Women to use as part of our fundraiser luncheon event, which celebrates International Women’s Day, I could never have imagined how supportive everyone would be in contributing to its success.
I am extremely grateful to all the contributing authors who voluntarily and enthusiastically provided the content. And special thanks to Jeanette McCurdy, our copy editor who also gave us the gift of her time and expertise reviewing the content.
The 2012 IWD Committee and Jade Slaughter were amazing with their help in advertising sales. And my heart is overflowing with gratitude to Liesje Doldersum from Sprout Advertising and Design for not only seeing my vision, but also for making this publication, through her own creative lens, truly a work of art. Lastly, thank you to Norah Kennedy for always being supportive and taking a leap of faith when it comes to my fundraising ideas! Thanks to all of these people, Celebrating Women has been a truly collaborative effort.
As you flip through the pages of this magazine, you’ll learn a little more about some of the ideas and opinions of our contributing authors. I hope you find them informative and that they leave you inspired. I am sure you will recognize many of the local businesses that have supported this fundraiser issue, and I hope that whenever possible, you will support them when you’re in need of their particular product or service. I am thrilled that 100% of the proceeds from this issue will go direct to Family Transition Place.
Last but not least, I’d like to dedicate Celebrating Women to all women, who are an inspiration to others – as mothers, sisters, and friends. Remember, March 8th is your day! Let’s celebrate together!
Letter from the Editor
Since 1984, Family Transition Place (FTP) has been providing critical services to women and their children who have experienced abuse and unhealthy relationships. Inside FTP’s doors, women find a warm and welcoming place where their safety and well-being is the most important thing in the world. Whether they need a safe place to live, or the services of a professional, skilled counsellor to assist them on their journey, FTP is there to help.
Stacey TarrantEditor-in-Chief
Youth Education Family Transition Place is a leading provider of Youth Education programming – an initiative committed to eliminating bullying and building healthy relationships in our community.
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Okay, so the title of this article grabbed your attention, didn’t it? You’re probably always on the quest for self-improvement. Why is it that the idea of being better, striving to do more, and trying harder is always on our radar? Why do we believe we’re never good enough as we are? Here are a few tips to help you stop, take a breath, and put things in perspective – to find and retain more balance day-to-day.
TIPS TO BOOSTYOUR HAPPINESS7
6/Laugh as much as you possibly can. Try to find the humour in the daily calamities of life, instead of getting frustrated and angry. You’ll be amazed at how much lighter you will feel.
1/ Believe in the goodness of people and in yourself. It’s too easy to ignore the 99 compliments we hear, and believe the one bad thing that someone says. It’s important to learn how to give a compliment, and how to receive one, too!
3/Be hopeful. Try to change your outlook so you’re able to focus on the possibility of a positive outcome.
2/Surround yourself with things you love. When it comes to your space, there’s no decorating rule more important; if you have a collection or love a particular colour – go for it! Your home is your haven, where you should feel inspired – and able to recharge your spirit and your energy.
4/Surround yourself with people that feed your spirit and support you. Don’t allow negative people to dimnish your spirit. Remember the law of attraction: negative attracts negative, positive attracts positive, and like attracts like!
5/From time to time take a few minutes in a quiet place and con-template the dreams and wishes that you had as a child. This can be a very powerful exercise – it helps put you in touch with a part of your inner self that is sometimes lost in your chaotic adult life.
7/Remember that you are good, important and deserving. The fact that you are reading this article means that you care about more than just yourself, and you probably spend most of your time looking after others while trying to find ways to improve the awesome things that you are already doing.
Life is a difficult, precious, unpredictable, awe-inspiring adventure, and everyone has an important role in it. Don’t be afraid to go on out and do all you were meant to do. And remember to believe in the extraordinary abilities you bring to every occasion along the way. by Kelley Potter: Wife,
Mother, Daughter, Friend, Writer, Public Speaker, FTP Volunteer, Home Stylist & Student of Life.
6 IWD Magazine
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We can also organize a corporate instruction package, ladies and men’s nights.Don’t put it off another year--call me and we’ll get started! (519-942-5999).
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8 IWD Magazine
“Waking up each day with good health and a loving family is enough motivation to keep me excited about life, and the possibilities that await me each day.” Rosita Hall.
escribed as the ‘Motivation Sensation with a big heart’, Rosita Hall holds a Bachelor of Social Work from the University of Windsor. She spent 10 years on the frontline as a social worker,
and served as an Executive Director of a social service agency in Hamilton, Ontario. Rosita spent 13 years in this leadership position, and quickly learned the importance of heart-to-heart relationships as the key to creating a culture of excellence and developing an extraordinary team. Rosita was honoured (to her surprise) with many awards for her accomplishments while serving in the role as Executive Director.
She was a nominee for the Woman of the Year for the City of Hamilton, was named First Lady of the Year by the Beta Sigma Phi Sorority, and was given the Remarkable Woman of the Year Award by the Ruebena Willis Counseling Center in Ajax, Ontario during her tenure as a social worker and Executive Director.
For the past 11 years, Rosita has been on the international speaking circuit. She has earned her Professional Designation with the Canadian Association of Professional Speakers (CAPS), and is a member of the
National Speakers Association. A few years ago, she authored her first book, “I Found the Answer”, which reached Canadian Best Selling status. She is currently working on her second book, with a 2012 release date.
Rosita has been published in several local and national newspapers, and has made countless television appearances. She always finds time to volunteer her services in her community and abroad. Rosita spent time in New Orleans where she volunteered her time to help rebuild the city. She currently serves as Area Director with Zonta, an International organization that works to advance the status of women worldwide. One of the projects that Rosita feels passionate about is the prevention of HIV transmission from mother to child, a project in Rwanda she supports in her work with Zonta. On a local level, she is involved in numerous projects that support marginalized communities. She is a founding board member of the “Blossom Club”, a unique non-profit fitness facility that supports people with developmental disabilities.
•••Rosita Hall is the guest speaker at this year’s International Women’s Day Celebration Luncheon, hosted by Family Transition Place.
Rosita Hallinspiration + energy
D
How can we change? There are a number of local, regional, national and international women’s organizations that support women in their focus on education, independence, health, safety, and economic development. But these organizations can only do so much. We must, as individuals, take responsibility for our own actions. Every one of us can choose to participate and have a role in a women’s cooperative movement.
What can we do?We can help our daughters overcome the need to compete with their peers. At several universities there are women’s mentoring programs and support groups for both students and women faculty. Do we have a mentoring program in our high schools where seniors mentor younger girls? Do we have a program where adult female role models could meet with students on a regular basis?
We can stop competing with each other. Women in business could be supportive of other women in business through mentoring, referrals, partnerships, etc. Most Chambers of Commerce have already taken the initiative of having a women’s section – it’s up to each business woman to take it to even farther.
Mothers who work outside the home and stay-at-home mothers can stop judging each other. Both choices are equally valid, and rather than reacting with criticism, we should try to celebrate and support each other, and remember that, not so long ago, we didn’t have the choice.
These are just a few examples of how women can make a difference. Every woman in each community can make her own difference. Just remember, trying to initiate something new, or tackling an old problem in a new way, is rarely rewarded. And that’s all right – we have to start somewhere and lead by example.
Women who’ve made a difference.The 2011 Nobel Peace Prize was awarded jointly to three women “for their non-violent struggle for the safety of women and for women’s rights to full participation in peace-building work.”
> Ellen Johnson Sirleaf is in her second term as President of Liberia. She is a divorced mother of four boys and grandmother to six children; she is Liberia’s first elected female president, as well as the first elected female leader on the African continent. She has been exiled, imprisoned, but never beaten in her beliefs.> Leymah Roberta Gbowee is a Liberian peace activist responsible for leading a women’s peace movement that brought an end to Liberia’s 14-year civil war. Surviving spousal abuse, she and her children lived as virtually homeless refugees and almost starved.> Tawakkol Karman is a Yemeni protest leader, journalist, politician, mother and the first female Arab winner of the Nobel prize.
Other women to follow:> Aung San Suu Kyi, the Burmese human rights leader who spent 15 of the past 21 years in prison or under house arrest.> Dilma Rousseff reportedly dreamed of becoming a firefighter or trapeze artist when she was a child, but instead serves
as the first female president of Brazil: one of the most populous countries in the world – and a burgeoning economic power. She will likely inspire the dreams of young female Brazilians for years to come.
We have role models, and we have each other. But it’s up to each one of us to decide how we act to make a difference.
9 IWD Magazine
How Can Women Make a Difference?
We live in a world of competition: whether in sports, in academics, in the size of our home, in the things we buy, or in politics. We seem to carry some form of genetic DNA that says that we must compete for scarce resources. What if we, as women, could change all this? We would lead a major shift from competition to cooperation. by Anne-Marie Pollowy-Toliver
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Perhaps the most notable of these were the three women to whom The Nobel Peace Prize for 2011 was jointly awarded. Ellen Johnson Sirleaf, Leymah Gbowee and
Tawakkol Karman were presented the award “for their non-
violent struggle for the safety of women and for women’s
rights to full participation in peace-building work”.
These women are celebrated for the remarkable work they
are doing to advance peace in volatile political climates,
but there is a secondary, equally important outcome of the
public recognition. They become positive role models for the
world’s girls. Strong, international female role models teach
us that as women we have a place in international diplomacy
and politics and that women can affect the outcome of big,
worldly issues (note the role women played in the events
of the Arab Spring) and be strong voices for peace and
equality.
Girls need positive female role models. In an interesting
article in a recent issue of the Globe and Mail a study in
India shows that having women on local village governments
dramatically changes the beliefs of young girls about what
they can do with their lives. The research attributed the
change to one factor – a positive female role model.
As important as international women leaders are in inspiring
the girls of today, we cannot overlook how critical it is to
have strong women leaders in local roles, and to be positive
role models ourselves. The actions we take and the roles we
play in the lives of the girls we
know and love will shape the
future of our community and
of our world. Many believe, as
do I, that girls and women are
going to be pivotal in the global
struggle to reduce poverty,
hunger, disease, and violence.
It is our job to help today’s young women recognize the
potential within them, and create the space in which to
realize and nurture that potential.
When I reflect personally on the importance of female
role models, I realize that growing up, I had a sense of
empowerment despite the fact that my family was not
wealthy, nor did we hold positions of social or political
power. And I believe this was because there was a strong
female intelligence that supported the foundation of my
childhood. My maternal grandmother lived with us, and she
was an intelligent, humorous, strong-willed Scottish woman.
She had no formal education past grade eight, as she had
had to quit school to go to work when her mother died.
She was an avid reader with a keen curiosity and an
independent spirit. I don’t think she ever doubted her self-
worth. Therefore, my sister and I grew up believing that
being a girl was a great thing; we never doubted that the
choices in life were ours to make.
I remember hearing the word ‘feminist’ for the first time as
an adolescent, and being surprised at the need to label such
a thing, believing as I did that equality of the sexes was not
only self-evident, but a universal law of nature.
I am far less naïve now, but I still want to view human
equality as a fundamental right. We know that women
produce half the world’s food supply today, and that they
make up two-thirds of the world’s work force. One would
think that facts like this would prove the point. Sadly, despite
these figures, women earn only 10% of the world’s income,
and own less than 1% of its property.
As we approach International Women’s Day 2012 we can be
confident that the potential of girls and women is limitless.
In sheer numbers we are already there. Women’s rights are
human rights, after all. This was my naïve belief as a child, yet it
should be the belief of every child, of every woman,
of everyone.
INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’S DAY 2012The theme for this year’s International Women’s Day is “Connecting Girls, Inspiring Futures”. I find myself thinking of some of the exceptional women who have been celebrated over the past year. by NORAH KENNEDY
10 IWD Magazine
In 1948, Eleanor Roosevelt questioned the origin of these rights.
“Where, after all, do universal human rights begin? In small places,
close to home– so close and so small that they cannot be seen on
any map of the world…Unless these rights have meaning there,
they have little meaning anywhere.” For me, that small place was
described by my grandmother. Her strength, intelligence, and
unflappable spirit helped guide our growing up. She taught us
how to move our thoughts forward – from home, out into the
community, out into the world. Let’s celebrate and support women
around the world who are making a difference, but let’s not forget
to look close to home, as well. Let’s find those small places and
support our daughters and grand-daughters, all the girls of our
community, in harnessing their dreams. Encourage them to imagine
a better place, and help them to be the generation that delivers on
the promise of equality, of fundamental human rights, and of peace
and dignity for all – for now and for always. Our girls need to know
there is room for them – if we look in all those small places girls
cannot help but connect and be inspired – the future belongs to
them and it is there waiting for them to own it. Norah Kennedy is
the Executive Director of Family Transition Place.
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11 IWD Magazine
Norah Kennedy is in her fifth year as Executive Director of Family Transition Place. There’s an extraordinary magnitude to this role, in an outreach, counselling, and residential agency serving a community of 111,000 people. We wanted to get to know the intrepid woman who wears this hat. by KAY MACDUFFEE.
Ms Kennedy, however, was adamant that this publication should not be about her, but about FTP, and was reluctant to participate. It was only by using questions that could elicit answers with a kind of universal wisdom for women, that she agreed to the quiz. Here are Norah Kennedy’s responses:
KM: Could you tell us something about your personal or family life? NK: I grew up in Dufferin County, left home at 18 for the big city lights and found myself coming back to my roots a few years later (okay – almost 30 years – but who’s counting?) when I accepted the position at FTP. My family (husband, two teenagers, couple of dogs) is lucky enough to now live on part of the beautiful Mulmur township property that I grew up on.
KM: Do you have any strategies for balancing the two (family and business responsibilities) that you could share with other women who struggle with this challenge? NK: It is so interesting – it was actually my husband who drew this to my attention, but do you notice that men are never asked this question? Presumably, they also have personal lives, children, aging parents, pets, household responsibilities, etc., to look after, but no one ever asks a man how they balance it all. Why do you suppose that is? Hmmm. But to answer your question. I imagine I balance my home/work life the same way most women do. I take
a deep breath in the morning and let it out at night when I tumble into bed. I do the best I can. I try to really be there for my kids and then feel guilty about all the times I’m not. I make an effort to be at the important things, and use vacation time to be with family. When I’m at work, it’s about work. That said, I believe that one of my responsibilities, as a woman in a leadership role is to help create a work environment that is supportive of women in all of their many demanding roles. No matter how much I love my work – and I do – I know my family comes first.
Therefore, I expect and understand that that it is probably the same for everyone else I work with. And women who are moms are going to be much more effective in their roles at work if they know that all is good on the home front. So, together with my amazing management team, I strive to create a supportive and flexible workplace for women who are “balancing” it all. And as most woman know, the balance isn’t always perfectly achieved, sometimes it slips a little toward one end of the teeter-totter or another, depending on what the latest crisis is demanding, and where it is happening – at work or at home. But it always eventually rights itself again. Or it should. I think working moms always carry a load of guilt. I’ve always worked outside the home, since my kids were babies. I’m hoping that I am able to provide positive role modeling as a woman in a leadership role and in doing work that I find meaningful and care about – to both my daughter and my son, will eventually outweigh all the volleyball games and school trips that I’ve missed along the way. I’m hoping… I’ll let you know. So no, I guess I don’t really have any tips. Wing it. There are no rules. Like I say, you do the best you can. And try not to laugh when well-meaning people say “What do you do to make time for yourself?”
KM: What do you consider your greatest challenge in your work with FTP?NK: There are decidedly challenges in my job – one of the biggest challenges I’ve faced in this role is in convincing the “powers that be” that investing in education and prevention over the long term is the only way we’re going to finally end violence against women. There shouldn’t have to be organizations like ours. Women shouldn’t have to leave their homes, uproot their children and take refuge in a shelter.
Norah Kennedy, rubber boots and all.
12 IWD Magazine
And our only hope of ending that is in educating our youth about what healthy relationships are, and that violence never has a place in our homes, schools, or communities. I’ve been working on finding sustainable revenues for our Youth Education programs since I started here. We’ve had a lot of success with funders like the Region of Peel, the Ontario Trillium Foundation, and the Ministry of Health promotion. But these grants are always one-time and not annualized, so every year when one grant ends, we start all over again. Thankfully, we live and work in a very generous community and the people of our community continue to demonstrate their belief, and commitment to our work with their ongoing financial donations and sponsorships.
However, any day when I’m feeling like the practical challenges of the job are mounting up, I look at the challenges that are faced by the women who come here. And these are challenges like not having anywhere to live, or experiencing a life-time of abuse, or being truly alone for the first time ever, starting all over with no money and little else, or fighting addiction or mental illness, and/or trying to care for children under any of the above circumstance. Now those are real challenges. My challenges generally just boil down to time management. KM: Who is the biggest influence on your life?NK: I’ve been very fortunate to have numerous people who
13 IWD Magazine
cont’d on page 22
The ability to survive change is not the same as the ability to create change, but the results are the same. Change is thrust upon us, often when we least expect it and feel least equipped to deal with it. These situations require quick adaptations in both behaviour and attitude, but, ultimately, we
survive and are, more often than not, better for it.
True innovators and leaders adopt the practice of creating change by recognizing areas in their lives they are not happy with, initiating the circumstances and methods necessary to change them, and remaining consistent in their approach until the desired effects are attained. ‘Change by choice’ is driven by desire, whereas ‘change by circumstance’ confronts us unprepared, and is, for that reason, resisted. Learning to willfully create necessary changes and accepting the circumstances that come with them is the often overlooked key to successfully integrating and attaining health and fitness in our lives.
The circumstances could be anything from having less time at home, giving up some of your favorite foods, drinking less wine, spending some extra money, or pushing through physical discomfort. However, they could also include having more energy, better sleep, more stable emotions, a stronger immune system, and an overall increased level of enthusiasm and zest for life. Accepting all the circumstances that accompany your desire for better health and fitness with diligence, persistence and consistency is essential to successful change. The more diligent, persistent and consistent you, are the greater and faster the change will occur.
When new clients sit with me for initial consultation I ask what their goals are. I ask for two reasons. First, to help them establish what they are really trying to create, so together we can develop a plan of action to get them there. Then, the follow-up question is: “What are you willing to do to achieve this?” Unless threatened by a serious health condition, clients have usually initiated the change themselves since they have walked into the club of their own free will. At this point their intentions are usually to remain diligent and consistent. Otherwise why embark on the journey in the first place? However, levels of persistence
often vary – and there is a high rate of people who begin and quit diet and exercise plans. So it seems, in this matter, collectively, ‘we’ are not very persistent.
Success in any and all areas of your life takes a constant reconnection with your goals and a good solid plan. One that is revisited, re-established, and reworked on a regular basis. Most highly successful people take the time to reconnect with their goals and their plan of action on a daily basis. However, the most important part of success is a strong desire to never ever give up.
So you want to lose weight, tone up, build muscle, get healthy – what’s your plan? Your plan needs to include carefully thought-out considerations and exact intentions for all of life’s circumstances. What’s your plan for the days when you feel like it? What’s your plan for the days when you don’t? What’s your plan when the fridge is empty and you’re hungry? When your family places demands on you? When finances are tight and you can’t afford the trainer or the gym? When you’re tired? What’s your plan when you aren’t seeing results? What’s your plan when all you hear in your head is every single reason you have not to do it?
The advice I have, that has consistently proven itself for every person I’ve seen successfully achieve his or her health and fitness goals is this: establish a goal, set a realistic time-frame, create an emotional attachment to your goal, and hire somebody, if necessary, to help you lay out a realistic and achievable plan. And then, get busy every day, regardless of all but extreme circumstances, until your goal is achieved. It really is that simple. Although you may not believe it will be as easy as that, please take my word for it, it’s the most worthwhile thing you’ll ever accomplish in your life, and it really is as simple as making the choice while it’s yours to make. Sheila Corneil is the Fitness Director at Headwaters Racquet Club.
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14 IWD Magazine
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When I read this information on the IWD website, I was amazed by all the stories of inspiring women in our community. I saw the faces of women who lead, women who nurture, and women who create. Many of these women are well known and receive recognition for their contributions; they shape local government, lead organizations, and share our stories. However, many more work quietly, often behind the scenes. We may be used to seeing their faces, but may not know their names, and that is a shame. Then it occurred to me: What better time than International Women’s Day to shine a light on a few of these wonderful women, and use them to illustrate the qualities that make our community strong. So with that in mind, I’ve assembled a list of six traits that help shape our communities. Then I asked others to name some of the exceptional women who exemplify each of these characteristics.
LEADERSHIP When it comes to building a strong community, good leadership is critical, and we have many strong women in our midst. Often, leaders are faced with difficult decisions and harsh criticism. The fact that they continue to act in our best interest, in spite of this, speaks to their inherent strength and resolve. MPP Sylvia Jones, Caledon Mayor Marolyn Morrison, Orangeville Councillors Sylvia Bradley, Gail Campbell, and Mary Rose, and Peel Region Councillor Patti Foley are all examples of strong women who help us identify what our needs are, where we need to go to achieve our goals, and how to organize ourselves once we get there.
Dufferin and Caledon have many leaders in arenas outside of politics, too, particularly in non-profit or social service agencies. When it comes to leadership, the names of several local Executive Directors made our list again and again: they are Trish Keachie (Dufferin Child and Family Services), Sheryl Chandler (Dufferin Community Living), Nancy Stallmach (Big Brothers Big Sisters of Dufferin and District), Norah Kennedy (Family Transition Place), Laurie Turza (Alzheimer Society of Dufferin County), and Maureen Thornton (Caledon Parent Child Centre).
NURTURING In our area, we have many solid examples of women who go above and beyond when it comes to caring for us when
we are hurting, supporting us when we are down, or encouraging us when we aren’t sure where to turn. A few well-known individuals are Lorna Bethell (Founding Patron of Bethell House), Alison Hamilton-Allen (Victim Witness Assistance Program), Carol Kidd (Executive Director of Caledon Meals on Wheels), Ailsa Stanners-Moroz (Program Director at Caledon Parent Child Centre), and Anne Walton, who has been serving her community for 50 years. Anne volunteers at her church, with Girl Guides of Canada, Caledon Community Services, the Legion, and more. Margot Scott (longtime Director with Peace Ranch) and Dolly Bosnar (Dufferin Clothing and Food Bank) were highlighted as well, as was Sheryl Chandler (Executive Director, Community Living Dufferin).
VISION/CREATIVITY There are those among us who identify problems and instinctively know what is needed to solve them – who can see places where improvement is needed and then find creative ways to make things work. Caledon’s Nicola Ross, who founded the Caledon Countryside Alliance is one such person. So is Mary Maw, who leads a dedicated and visionary team that has taken Caledon Public library far beyond just merely a place to sign out a book. Brenda Heenan (founder of the Bolton & District Horticultural Society) has been described to me as an advocate for the beautification of Caledon – one garden at a time.
STRONG. COMPASSIONATE. CREATIVE. WOMEN WHO SHAPEA COMMUNITY.
The overall theme of International Women’s Day 2012 is Connecting Girls, Inspiring Futures. Here in Canada, a secondary theme has been chosen: Strong Leadership. Strong Women. Strong World: Equality. by Shelly Sargent
16 IWD Magazine
Anne Shabason, who is a local visual artist, is the founder of Chez Thrift, and was also involved in the founding of Caledon Studio Tours. Other creative visionaries in our area include Margie Taylor (a visual artist involved in the gallery section of the Alton Mill), Jenn Clarke of Eat Local Caledon, Signe Ball, and In the Hills magazine, and Doreen Armstrong – FTP’s first Executive Director.
COURAGE Often, the people who get things done have to overcome huge obstacles in order to do so. Seeing someone persevere and succeed in spite of overwhelming odds can make the rest of us strive just that little bit harder to overcome our own problems. Such is the case with Debbie Malevris. A dedicated community member and former employee of Caledon Community Services, Debbie has been living with Multiple Sclerosis for many years, and yet has never let it stop her from making a great contribution to her community. Hattie Dunstan is another woman who serves the community in spite of her own illness. Suffering from Cystic Fibrosis her whole life, Hattie underwent a double lung transplant last year. In spite of the long recovery and setbacks she has endured, she is currently planning a third Couture Fashion for a Cure Found fashion show. And after leaving her native Germany during a time of war, Erna Baniulis (founder of the Lord Dufferin Centre) has spent a lifetime making life easier for seniors and disabled people in this community.
INTEGRITY Most of us feel we have integrity, but some women exemplify this quality, and live as a model for others. Currently, a Justice of the Peace in Newmarket, former Mayor of Caledon, Carol Seglins, is one such example. So is Michelle Freundt, a supporter of many local environmental initiatives; she is seldom seen without a petition needing signatures. Michelle lives the lesson she shares with others, living and making her living in the greenest possible way. Carol Good brings an honesty and integrity that is admired by many to everything she does, whether it is acting in her capacity as a professional facilitator or volunteering within the community.
PASSSION Some call it determination; others refer to it as “devotion to a cause.” Tyra Banks calls it “fierce.” However you describe it, some women are a walking, talking exemplification of the word “passion.” Two that spring to mind immediately are Debbe Crandall, longtime Executive Director of STORM (Save The Oak Ridges Moraine) and a key player in the creation of the Oak Ridges Moraine Conservation Act, and Penny Richardson, who spent many years working to oppose the Rockfort Quarry in Caledon Hills. Two more local women of passion are Karen Hutchinson and Barb Imrie, whose long-time devotion to the local food movement and green initiatives culminated this past year in the introduction of the Palgrave community farm. And let’s not forget Kim Alderdice, who ran her own swim school near Palgrave while still in university and who
– together with a large crew of notable young women – co-ordinates Couture Fashion for a Cure Found, an annual fashion show that benefits Cystic Fibrosis research. Deb Robertson, who has worked with both Caledon Community Services and Peace Ranch; Ann Davidson, advertising and promotion for the Headwaters Health Care Auxiliary House Tour; and Mary Vervoot, Executive Director for Choices Youth Shelter, Orangeville are three women whose passion for helping others takes on a powerful and productive force.
If there is one thing I’d like everyone to take away with them after reading this, it is the understanding that, as long as the list may be, it is not a finite or comprehensive list. It was a challenge to keep it this short because there were so many other names that could have been included. These are names of women who stand up for what they believe in despite incredible opposition or obstacles, women who speak the truth, women who help us bridge life’s difficult journeys. The next time you are out and about and happen to meet up with one of these ladies who lead, console, or inspire us, find a way to say thank you… for it is women like this who have led us to where we are today, and will surely take us even further.
17 IWD Magazine
�e Town of Orangeville is proud to support Family Transition Place in
celebration of International Women’s Day and hereby proclaim:
March 5-12, 2012
International Women’s Week
I recently travelled to the Middle East to teach at two girls’ schools in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia. I felt, however, like I had travelled to another universe.
Although I do have prior experience in the Middle East (three
years teaching in the Women’s University of the United Arab
Emirates, and four days training female teachers and ministry
officials in the use of technology in math and science courses, in
Riyadh, Saudi Arabia), neither of those experiences prepared me
for my first visit to a public high school in this part of the world.
Education in the Middle East is segregated by gender. As a woman, I would not be allowed into a boys’ school, nor would a male teacher be admitted into a girls’ school. The first girls’ school I visited was located in a compound with solid eight-foot cement walls and large iron doors that closed and locked with a booming clang. There was no visible outside signage to indicate that a school was behind the forbidding walls. The schools are not named, but referred to numerically. The grim, austere exterior belied the hope and enthusiasm that I would
find inside.
Since many of the streets have no name, it seemed a miracle when my driver/security guard found the schools each day, after navigating through winding routes of one-way alleys and side streets.
It was difficult to leave my English-speaking driver, Abdulkarem,
outside the school. My Arabic is not sufficient to make myself
understood, and I relied on him for translation. However, as he
was male, he would not be allowed to accompany me inside the
girls’ school. I was on my own.
The first women teachers I met did not speak any English,
and although friendly, did not understand who I was or why
I was there. (I was also beginning to wonder!) Finally, after
many hospitable attempts at conversation and multiple cups
of tea, they brought the English teacher to help translate. Her
English was not terrific either, but coupled with my attempts at
Arabic, we finally managed some limited communication, and
we found the correct classroom and one of my two teachers.
Progress!
The school day was not entirely dissimilar to what we have in
North America. However, likely due to the extreme afternoon
heat, it ran from 7:00 a.m. – 1:30 p.m. The entire student
body of 350 students met first for some singing, readings, and
announcements in an open-air paved courtyard. Like some of
the hotels in the area, the classrooms ring the courtyard on
three levels. The classrooms have no outside windows but
some facing into the courtyard. Classes are usually an hour
long, with half-hour breaks in between and a breakfast break
at 10:00 a.m., along with prayers. The school had a head
administrator with three assistants, plus the teachers
and aides.
The staff room was like many others I have been in, with
lively discussions and collaborative lesson planning. All
staff are university educated, and many indicated that they
were taking their Masters’ courses in the evenings. I found
them to be extremely intelligent and dedicated teachers.
Education is obviously one of the few careers open to women
in Saudi Arabia. These women are justly proud of their
accomplishments, and eager to educate the next generation.
I was becoming more and more intrigued, and I was given a
fascinating tour through the school. In the art department, the
girls knit, crochet, weave, and embroider, making their own
SEGREGATED BY GENDER GIRLS’ SCHOOLS IN SAUDI ARABIA
18 IWD Magazine
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19 IWD Magazine
fashions. A course in nutrition involved preparing meals and
lessons in infant health. English is also a popular topic, along
with Islamic studies, mathematics, and the sciences. There is
no equivalent to our physical education, and girls are definitely
not encouraged to engage in any sports. It is not considered
appropriate, and most of the time, it is too hot to exert oneself
outdoors.
The classroom setting was quite a shock. Much smaller than
what I am used to, it held four large tables and forty-eight
students. Some students were sharing chairs. There were no
books, chalkboard, projector, computer, or any of the supplies
and equipment we take for granted in Canada. While the
teacher lectured about polynomial functions, I did not see
anyone taking notes, writing down a problem, or in any way
interacting in the lesson; though the girls were attentive and
polite. I was glad I was never required to teach math this
way, nor do I think I could have learned it that way, either. It
contradicts most of Ontario’s educational procedures and our
understanding of the learning processes. The teacher proudly
informed me that 85% of their graduating classes go on to
university. I was suitably amazed!
To introduce technology to these classrooms, I had a
computer, projector, and 40 graphing calculators and
displacement measuring devices. My lessons were a
series of activities – not demonstrations by the teacher
for the students, but interaction between teacher
and students. The students’ reactions to the lessons
were delightful. It did not take long to break the ice
this way. They were up on their feet, gathering data
while performing an experiment, working in groups,
and noisily engaged with the lesson. I was kept busy
acknowledging their success at every step. They were
anxious for my approval. Although my instructions
were in English, mathematics is a language itself, and
together, we felt triumphant when the concept was
understood. I was beginning to feel a little more
at home.
As comfortable as I was becoming in my new setting,
I was soon brought back to the reality of my situation
by news of a tragic fire in one of the other girls’
schools in Jeddah. Two teachers and 46 girls died in
the fire. My discussions with the teachers about the
tragedy were enlightening.
Because I, like all the staff and students, had been
locked in at the compound, I speculated about possible
explanations for these horrific deaths. Could being
locked in on a daily basis have contributed to the
deaths? Opinions were unanimous. Definitely, they
informed me. And there was some doubt as to whether or not any
male firefighters would have been permitted inside the school.
That would slow down any response to the emergency! Of course,
there aren’t any female emergency workers. Therein lies the
paradox that holds these young women captive within their own
society. Although there was shock and sadness, there was also a
profound sense of helplessness and acceptance of fate.
While I worked in these girls’ schools in Jeddah, my husband
taught in boys’ schools in Riyadh. His experience was totally
different to mine. The schools he saw were well equipped,
with smaller classes, and a much more participatory style
of teaching. Clearly, gender equity was and is not a priority
in these communities. Ironically, I firmly believe that lasting
change is never possible without education, and yet, there is
no equality of education in Saudi Arabia.
Hopefully, we will be returning to Saudi Arabia, and will
continue to make contacts within the educational community,
where I will, undoubtedly, learn even more than I teach.
Winners is proud to support Family Transition Place in celebration of International Women’s Day
Learn more about our commitment to your community at www.winners.ca
20 IWD Magazine
Sharing my story with others is one of the more important things I’ve done in my life, as has been my connection with FamilyTransition Place.
When entering Family Transition Place, one must first pass through an exterior door. When this door is securely closed, a second door opens, allowing inner access. The first time I walked through those doors signalled the beginning of a deeply personal and healing journey. As time passed, those doors would continuously remind me of what I was doing for myself. As one door closed, another would open. Those doors were to become symbolic of a lifetime seasoned with difficult journeys, my lifetime.
Through an uncanny series of events, ghosts that had haunted me for many years had been recently resurrected through
violence. My beautiful eldest daughter was brutally beaten. Her survival was nothing short of a miracle. Family Transition Place became her shelter and refuge. This haunting multiplied as my younger daughter endured the final heartbreak of a dysfunctional relationship she had fought so gallantly and so long to hold together. She succumbed to overwhelming odds, numb and lost. “What was she to do now? Where could she turn?” ”Family Transition Place,” was the reply. She was accepted with open and caring arms.
What had I become throughout all this turmoil? In a word, I was broken – broken of mind, body, and spirit. I was tired of living behind a curtain of tears, fears, and uncertainty. I was frightened, feeling out of control, and concerned for everyone else but myself. It was time for me to take some of my own advice. I contacted Family Transition Place, this time, for myself.
Those Family Transition Place doors were witness to my first faltering steps. Steps that eventually grew in stride and confidence as through counselling, discoveries were made and my own truths were uncovered. You see, in the past, I
the doors of family transition placea survivor’s story ~ by Judy Sparks
cont’d on page 23
This vibrant, delightful young lady named Jade knocked my socks off with her sales savvy. Her enthusiasm and drive to succeed in selling advertising for her high school yearbook was the bridge that connected her to helping Family Transition Place. by Stacey Tarrant
JADE SLAUGHTER -FIRST: HIGH SCHOOL,NEXT: THE WORLD.
After Jade’s remarkable presentation, I returned to my office and quickly realized
the opportunity I had in front of me. Jade was the perfect fit for this year’s IWD
theme, Connecting Girls and Inspiring Futures.
Jade mentioned that she loved business and marketing. With these words
echoing in my mind, I called Jade, and asked her if she would be willing
to help with the inaugural issue of Celebrating Women. I explained to Jade
that FTP was using this publication as a fundraiser in conjunction with the
International Women’s Day event. Jade accepted the offer with gratitude and
excitement! I was pleased because I felt this project was coming full circle;
I could be her mentor, and hopefully, she would be inspired by the valuable
experience she’d gain working for a not-for-profit charity.
I was also hopeful that this experience would give Jade a huge sense of
accomplishment knowing she helping many women and young people.
These are people who will come to Family Transition Place in need of a safe
place to live, or seeking counselling support, or wanting to learn about healthy
relationships through FTP’s youth educational programs.
In the end, Jade was successful in her efforts and I am so thankful and
thrilled she was able to be a part of it. However, the real joy for me is that
Jade was actually the one who inspired me. Through Jade’s eagerness
and enthusiasm, she has reminded me to be open to life’s opportunities,
to give when you can, and to dream big.
Since working together, we have learned that Jade has been accepted at Humber
College to pursue a Bachelor’s Degree of International Development. How ironic
that this information would come while helping out with an International
Women’s Day event! We wish you all the best Jade!
21 IWD Magazine
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influence my life. As I’ve grown older, I have come to realize how important my grandmother was in helping to form my general world-view – which is largely optimistic. I have my sister, whose opinion I am always seeking on everything from what colour I should paint my living room to the content of speeches I have to deliver. My kids influence absolutely every decision I make, and are my measuring sticks of “balance” (see above), and my partner of more than 20 years, who unfailingly supports and challenges me, and is truly a partner in every sense of the word. But I have also been very lucky in my professional life. Working in social services for 20 years, most of my work environments have been predominantly female. I’ve had the good fortune to have worked with some amazing women, and have had strong female role models and mentors – in particular, my old “boss” who persuaded me in the first place that a leadership role was something I should consider. She modeled a professional, fair, and flexible management style that I have tried to emulate. She taught me a lot about leadership, how to work with people, and the importance of respect and trust in a good professional (as in any) relationship. And the best thing, many years later, with both of us in different roles and organizations, I know if I ever need to, I can still call her.
KM: What lessons have you learned from your work life?NK: That if you do something you care about, you’ll almost always look forward to going to work in the morning. And if you base your decisions on the principles that come from that “caring,” you’ll almost always make a good decision. It may not be the one that someone else would make, but that’s okay.
KM: Do you have any favourite stories from your work life?NK: One of my favourites of my time here at FTP many of the staff know. It happened on my very first day of work. In the middle of my orientation, Lyn Allen (Residential and Outreach Manager and until that day, Acting ED) was interrupted in her briefing of me by the information that the sump pump was malfunctioning. I mean REALLY malfunctioning. So I figured this would be a good opportunity to see a part of the facility I hadn’t toured yet (and really hoped I would never need to…) and see my new team in action. So orientation gave way to emergency sump pump mopping up. And when I saw the havoc being wreaked, I couldn’t do anything but get into the mix, grab a mop, and start mopping. To this day, I suspect it was some kind of new ED test, staged by the staff. Little did they know, for me it was also a testimonial of their teamwork – facilities personnel, front-line staff,
and managers were all there – some with rubber boots, some with rubber gloves, and some just trying to keep out of the way of the muck, all pulling together in this rather unpleasant setting. Anyway, I guess we all passed the test. I came back the next day and here we are almost five years later! And I’ve got to say, I’m still very glad to be part of this team – with or without rubber gloves and boots!
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22 IWD Magazine
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too had been a victim of abuse. Throughout my life
I had carried burdens of guilt, despair, shame and
worthlessness. All were not mine to bear. I had carried
them for a long time, those ghosts of my past.
With counselling, I began to let go of those heavy
loads. I cannot find sufficient words to express the
depth of connection and feelings of acceptance I
experienced in my counselling sessions. The counsellor
who shared this passage of discovery with me was
an integral part of my healing and for that, I will be
forever grateful.
My journey has brought me to a time and place where
I am ready to continue on myself. Some of those ghosts
will try to return, but I am lighter now, not so heavily
burdened with my past, and I am stronger. I know I
am not alone in this. I know I can return to the doors
of the Family Transition Place should I ever need to.
I have found my own truths. I also see my daughters
walking stronger. I see the future as one illuminated
word. That word is hope. My daughters and I are
survivors, united by a bond common to so many
women. It is my hope that these women also find the
doors of Family Transition Place.
23 IWD Magazine
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Did you know......that Family Transition Place offers specialized programs for elementary and secondary school students? by Tony Maxwell
•••Power. BreakThru. I am. Inspire. Stereotype Busters.
These are some of the programs FTP Youth Education offers
to students in grades 5 to 12. The goal is to encourage young
people to embrace attitude and behaviour change,
to understand choice/consequence, and to learn alternatives
to challenging behaviour. Using interactive techniques,
media, quizzes, games, role-playing, and more, these
programs:
• help students deal with unhealthy relationships,
including harassment, unsafe use of communication
technology, and a lack of acceptance from peers
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25 IWD Magazine
• promote personal safety and help students
navigate through unhealthy situations, including
dating abuse, risky sexual behaviour and
substance abuse, and
• reinforce the importance of having a positive
personal image, and teaches practical self-esteem
building activities.
The I’M GIRL program is for girls in Grades 7 to 10.
In discussion groups of 8-10 girls, I’M GIRL addresses
pertinent social issues and problems. The program
helps achieve positive personal image, as well as
independence through responsible decision making and
problem solving.
“The students respond very well because the program is
very active. Students participate in games, role-play
situations, and group activities designed to allow
them to communicate openly about topics they might
otherwise never get to address with peers.” – Dan Ardis,
Grade 7 Teacher at Primrose Elementary School
The tagline for FTP’s Youth Education is ‘Building
healthier relationships – one classroom at a time.’
Foley
Foley
Patti Patti
Regional CouncillorCaledon Ward 5 (Bolton)
Congratulations toFamily Transition Placeon a successful & inspiring2nd AnnualInternational Women’s Day Luncheon(905) 951-6128
Email: [email protected]: www.pattifoleyward5.wordpress.com
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Family Transition Place is so grateful to all of the advertisers in our magazine Celebrating Women. The proceeds will help provide safety, shelter, support and hope for those who need it in our community.
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[email protected]@[email protected]
www.christinemurray.cawww.christinemurray.cawww.christinemurray.ca
For all your Real Estate NeedsFor all your Real Estate NeedsFor all your Real Estate Needs
Interested in advertising in the next edition of Celebrating Women? Contact Stacey Tarrant: 519.942.4122 ext. 240.
26 IWD Magazine
Who finds shelter at Family Transition Place?
Anyone who needs it.
Safety. Support. Hope. Let’s build healthier communities - one relationship at a time.
519.941.HELP • TTY: 519.942.1651 • familytransitionplace.ca
For women and children experiencing abuse or homelessness.
www.royallepagercr.com • facebook.com/royalrcr
Royal LePage RCR Realty is also a proud supporter of The Royal LePage Shelter Foundation, Canada’s largest public foundation dedicated exclusively to funding women’s shelters and violence prevention and education programs.
Orangeville Office 519.941.5151 or 1.800.268.2455
75 First Street, Suite 14, Orangeville, ON L9W 2E7
Royal LePage RCR Realty has 19 Offices with over 400 REALTORS to serve you better, including Orangeville, Bolton, Shelburne & Alliston!
Thinking of making a move? Visit us online for great tips and helpful information on Buying or Selling your next home or property!
Bolton/Caledon Office 905.857.0651 Shelburne Office 519.925.2761
Alliston Office 705.435.3000
