Catholic Digest - Mar 2010

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March 2010

Happy Saint Patrick’s Day!

THE CATHOLIC ORIGINS

OF JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING

THE SHROUDOF TURIN

CHANGED MY LIFE

BREAK THROUGH

THE TOP 12 BARRIERS TO

EXERCISEDISCOVER

HOLY WEEK IN SEVILLE

SIMPLIFY YOUR LIFE!

How to bring health to your body, joy to

your family, and peace to your soul

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Holy Week in Seville 50PHOTOS AND STORY BY DANIEL DYKES

The Shroud of Turin changed my life 71PHOTOS AND STORY BY BARRIE M. SCHWORTZ

IN THIS ISSUEMARCH 2010 / VOL 74 / NO 5

c a t h o l i c d i g e s t . c o m

How simplifyingsaved our family 34LINDA BREEN PIERCE

Simplify your life in three easy steps 42GREGORY K. POPCAK, PH.D.

The Catholic origins of just about everything 27

The Shroud of Turin changed my life 71

Break through the top 12 barriers to exercise 94

Discover Holy Week in Seville 50

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features

cover stories 94

■s i m p l i f y

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departments and columns

MARCH 2010contents

6 EDITOR’S NOTEBOOK 10 TO THE EDITOR 12 NEWS AND TRENDS 14 PATRICK’S CORNER I St. Patrick and the snakes I Our class was already preparing a special addition to the annual St. Patrick’s Day pageant. But Regan and Victor had one more surprise up their sleeves 21 PRAYING I “Lord, make me whole again!” Get in touch with God’s love and healing power through this Lenten prayer exercise 27 Q & A I Michael Foley AUTHOR — WHY DO CATHOLICS EAT FISH ON FRIDAY?: THE CATHOLIC ORIGIN TO JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING 61 BOOKSHELF 63 WORLD OF FLAVOR I St. Patrick’s Day and the spud I Did you know that St. Patrick never tasted a potato? Discover the fascinating history of the potato in Irish cuisine and in one of our favorite holidays 78 CROSSWORD 81 WORD SEARCH 84 LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR I The Brothers who saved my life I Th e Alexian Brothers 92 WORTH WATCHING A guide to TV, movies, Internet, and radio 94 BE WELL I What’s stopping you? I How to break through the top 12 barriers to exercise 102 Dear June 104 WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO KNOW? 106 QUIET MOMENTS 112 THOUGHTS TO LIVE BY

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42 catholic digest catholicdigest .com

Karen and Bob, parents of three kids, were fried.

“We never know whether we’re coming

or going,” Karen said. “It’s gotten to the point where ‘family time’ means the kids staring at the back of my head as I drive them to their

next activity. I can’t stand it any-more.”

Bob agreed. “You want to give your kids every opportunity, but we’re just stretched way too thin. Between soccer, swimming, music lessons, youth group, our work, and church commitments, I just feel like we never see each other.

Simplify your life in three easy stepsSimplicity isn’t about throwing away all your stuff, moving to a hut, and living on bread and water. It’s a change of attitude that can drastically improve your quality of life

BY GREGORY K. POPCAK, PH.D.

■ s i m p l i f y y o u r l i f e !

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Karen and I joke that we have a commuter marriage because we’re never in the same place at the same time.”

“We keep trying to change things up,” said Karen. “But every-thing keeps getting away from us no matter what we try. Help!”

When people think of sim-

plifying their lives, many begin by trying to jump right in and trim the budget, declutter the house, or rearrange schedules. While simplifying does involve all of those things, many attempts to simplify fail because simplic-ity does not begin with doing; it begins by thinking. Unless we



begin by cultivating an attitude of simplicity, all the best eff orts to make practical changes will even-tually fail.

Th e fact is, simplicity isn’t necessarily about how much you have or what you do, and it’s not about chucking all your stuff in a trash bin, moving to a hut, and living on bread and water. Simplicity is really about how you approach what you have and what you do; and the chief task of simplicity is eliminat-ing the commitments, distractions, and expenditures that pre-vent you from pursuing those things that are essential to becoming the person God created you to be.

We tend to make decisions based on what feels important to us even more than what we consciously say is important to us. Unless we begin the quest for simplicity by examining our hearts and ques-tioning our priorities, the old, unconscious values and priorities will always eventually reassert themselves, and the changes we try to make will simply collapse like a house built on sand. Here’s

a step-by-step plan for beginning to wrap your head and your heart around living more simply.

1. Begin with the end in mind (be specifi c). It’s important to begin your quest for simplicity by ask-ing what you want to accomplish by living more simply. Do you

want more time as a family? If so, time to do what? Do you want to be more disciplined about spending? To what end? Do you want more freedom? To do what exactly? Th e success of any plan, especially the plan to simplify, requires a person to begin with concrete, specifi c goals.

Belinda and Gary wanted to get their budget under control. Th ey felt that they were being choked with debt they didn’t want and had a house fi lled with stuff they didn’t need.

Plus, they just weren’t saving for retirement like they should. Th ey talked with a fi nancial plan-ner and decided they needed to try to save about $100 a month. Aft er looking at their spending, they realized they tended to eat out twice a week on average — mostly because those were their

Get your wings on

Purity and simplicity are the two wings with which humans soar above the

earth and all temporary nature.

THOMAS À KEMPIS



Are you a compulsive shopper?Answer YES or NO

□ Do you feel the urge to go shopping when you are low or depressed?

□ Do you get a high from shopping?

□ Do you ignore family or work responsibilities so you can go shopping?

□ Do you try to hide your purchases or even lie about them to family and loved ones?

□ Do you feel a sense of guilt or shame after some of your shopping trips?

□ Do you go on buying binges which you feel are beyond your control?

□ Would you rather shop than engage in other hobbies or recreational activities?

SCORING: If you answered “Yes” to 3 or more of the above, you may have a problem with compulsive spending. Counseling may be indicated.

When you can’t let go » Sometimes, simplifying isn’t so simple. People often cling to things to make up for troubled relationships or emotional distress they don’t know how to resolve. Two types of disorders that can complicate the process of simplifying are commonly referred to as compulsive shopping and hoarding. Compulsive shopping is when a person indulges irresistible impulses to make purchases because of the emotional high that can accompany spending. Hoarding is the compulsive tendency to hold on to things that almost anyone else would discard to the point that it is negatively impacting your life and relationships. Both types of behaviors often require counseling to overcome. Take the following quizzes to see if you are a compulsive shopper or a hoarder.

Are you a hoarder?Answer TRUE or FALSE

□ My possessions are a source of pride.

□ My possessions are a source of conflict with my family.

□ I avoid having people over because of all the mess.

□ I experience anxiety and/or discomfort when attempting to discard possessions.

□ Others may find it difficult to walk through my home because of all the clutter.

□ If my family touches or discards my possessions I get very upset.

□ I avoid having necessary repairs because of all the clutter.

□ I tend to keep things because I’m afraid I may need them in the future.

SCORING: If you answered “True” to 3 or more of the above, you may have a problem with hoarding. Counseling may be indicated.

� GREGORY K . POPCAK, PH.D.



busiest days. Th ey decided to eliminate the second dinner out, have soup and sandwiches at home, and put the money they would have spent on the second meal — which amounted to about $120 a month (or $1400 a year) — directly into savings.

Having a specifi c goal in mind — to save $100 a month for retirement — helped Belinda and Gary know how much they needed to simplify and remember why they were simplifying in the fi rst place. Without such a clear goal and a specifi c plan for meet-

ing it, it would have been too easy for one of them to say, “Well, we can eat out a second time just this once.” But having a specifi c goal helped them see that their sac-rifi ce had a purpose and helped them stay faithful to their plan.

Chuck and Marilyn felt that they were overcommitted. Th ey wanted to simplify their sched-ules. Specifi cally, they felt they needed a little more time as a couple. Th eir marriage was OK, but with their work and family commitments, they just weren’t getting the time together they

When your family objectsSometimes the resistance to simplifying comes from outside of us. Family or other loved ones can object, sometimes strenuously, to the idea of simplifying. The first step is to consider whether their objections are rooted in a more serious problem like compulsive spending or hoarding (see “When you can’t let go” on page 45). Assuming that your loved one’s objection isn’t rooted in something serious but rather more of a difference of opinion, consider the following questions.

What does your loved one think will be lost by simplifying? For instance, is your loved one afraid that life will be less enjoyable or less stable?

How can you incorporate their concerns into your plan for simplifying? Can you offer a compelling plan for how life can be more enjoyable or more stable because of your plan to simplify (rather than in spite of it)?

If disagreement persists, the issue may be a difference in values. Seek a mutually respected moderator (pastor, mentor, or counselor) who can help mediate the differences between what each of you wants your lives to look like. � GREGORY K. POPCAK, PH.D.



needed. Although they would have liked to have time every day, they realized that, for them, it was just too big a change. Th ey decided they would start by tak-ing an hour for themselves every Tuesday night. In order to do that, Chuck had to commit to leaving work on time no matter what, and Marilyn gave up her Tuesday night women’s group since she already saw many of the same women at their children’s Band Booster Club meetings. Although the change was a chal-lenge for both of them, they knew that the trade-off was worth it.

Because simplicity is about eliminating distractions in order to focus on what’s important, clarifying a specifi c, important goal makes it that much easier to see what needs to be sacrifi ced to gain the desired benefi t.

2. Be mindful. “Mindfulness” is what psychologists call the abil-ity to be intentional about and aware of your goals as you move through your day. In Christian spirituality, the term “active con-templation” has a similar mean-ing. It isn’t enough to simply have a goal; you must consciously keep it in mind as you go about your business and teach yourself to ask when you are confronted by any new situation, “How can

I respond to this in a way that serves my goal?”

Mark wanted more time for prayer. He felt that his busyness was squeezing God out of his life, so he decided he’d take 15 min-utes of his lunch break for prayer every day. In the past, despite his best intentions, Mark tended to allow his work to pile up, mak-ing it diffi cult for him to take his full lunch break. Mark began to

NEED HELP SIMPLIFYING? CHECK THESE OUT

Bought Out and Spent! Recovery from Compulsive Shopping and Spending by Terrence Daryl Shulman

To Buy or Not to Buy: Why We Overshop and How to Stop by April Lane Benson

Overcoming Compulsive Hoarding: Why You Save & How You Can Stop by Fugen Neziroglu, Jerome Bubrick, Jose A. Yaryura-Tobias, and Patricia Perkins

CatholicTherapists.com: A referral network of Catholic therapists

ExceptionalMarriages.com: The Pastoral Solutions Institute offers ongoing psychotherapy by telephone to Catholic couples, families, and individuals. The author is the executive director.� GREGORY K . POPCAK, PH.D.



be mindful of his goal from the moment he got to work. He post-ed “Date with God” in his plan-ner every day at 12:15. Th en, he got a sense of how much work he could do each morning and still meet his goal. Before, if someone asked him if he could complete some project before lunch, he’d automatically say, “Absolutely.” Now, since he knows how much he can get done and still fi t in his prayer time, he asks himself, “Can I reasonably meet the request and still make my date with God?” If not, he’ll defer the request to aft er lunch if he can. Because he consciously plans his day around his prayer time, Mark is hitting his goal of getting more time for prayer three or four days out of fi ve.

Th e same plan works for bud-geting money or getting more family time. Going about your day with your fi nancial goals in the forefront of your mind stops you from mindlessly spending. Likewise, going about your day

with your family-time goal in the forefront of your mind stops you from automatically saying yes to that request to volunteer for a school committee, dinner engage-ment, or work commitment.

3. Be accountable. Change is dif-fi cult — not necessarily because it’s hard, but because we’re for-getful. We mean well, but life intervenes and we become so consumed with what’s happen-ing to us that we forget our goal and before too long we must ask ourselves, “What was that thing I promised myself about simpli-fying again?” Making ourselves accountable to someone decreas-es the likelihood we’ll forget our well-intentioned plan.

Jennifer wanted more time with her kids. She realized that her biggest problem was that she felt terrible saying no to people. Her life was now cluttered with commitments that did not serve the goals God placed on her heart. Despite her initial resolve,

CHANGE IS DIFFICULT — NOT NECESSARILY BECAUSE IT’S HARD,

BUT BECAUSE WE’RE FORGETFUL.



she would inevitably give in to the guilty feelings that overtook her and end up not only agreeing to be on a committee, but to run it. She decided it was time to get some counseling to help her over-come her inability to set eff ective boundaries with people.

Depending upon the nature of the change you are trying to make, a spouse, good friend, spiritual director, or counselor can play an essential role in helping you stay faithful to your goal to simplify your life and dedicate yourself to what is truly important.

SIMPLE GIFTSTh e old Shaker hymn, “Simple Gift s,” reminds us that the gift of

simplicity leads to freedom. In the Christian tradition, freedom refers to the ability to choose what is best for us and the people we love. By clarifying what is truly important, being single-minded about the pursuit of our goals, and making ourselves accountable to those who care about keeping us on track, we can rejoice in the freedom that comes when true simplicity is gained. CD

Gregory K. Popcak, Ph.D., is the execu-tive director of the Pastoral Solutions Institute, an organization providing counseling by phone to Catholics around the world. He is the author of the forth-coming book, God Help Me! This Stress is Driving Me Crazy! (Crossroads, 2010).

� � �

THAT’S HUMAN NATURE FOR YOU!Why does someone believe you when you say there are 4 billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

CAN'T TAX THISA businessman on his deathbed called his good friend and said, “I want you to promise me that when I die you will have my remains cremated.”

“As you wish,” his friend replied. “But what do you want me to do with your ashes?”

The businessman thought for a moment and then instructed, “Just put them in an envelope and mail them to the IRS. Write on the envelope, ‘Now you have everything.’”


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Catholic Digest - Mar 2010