Case studies based on reflections from CARE International ... · emphasis placed on agriculture, the management of natural resources, small economic activity development, and relief

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“A slap does not hurt that much.”

Case studies based on reflections from CARE International’s work in promoting Gender

Equity and Diversity in the district’s of Polonnaruwa and Batticaloa (Sri Lanka)

June 2009

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“A slap does not hurt that much” : case studies based on reflections from CARE International’s work in promotingGender Equity and Diversity in the district’s of Polonnaruwa and Batticaloa (Sri Lanka).

Authored by Kusala Wettesinghe

© CARE INTERNATIONAL Sri LankaProgram Quality and Learning Unit7A, Gregory’s Road,Colombo 7Sri Lanka

Copyright of this publication belongs to the CARE International Sri Lanka. Any part of this book may be reproducedwith due acknowledgement and with written persmission from CARE.

First Published - June 2009

Layout Design: Kumudu Priyankara ([email protected])Art work by: Kusala Wettesinghe ([email protected])

All enquiries relating to this publication should be directed to: Tel +94112662905-7, +94115399299, Fax+942693168Email: [email protected]

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“““““A slap does not hurt thaA slap does not hurt thaA slap does not hurt thaA slap does not hurt thaA slap does not hurt that much”t much”t much”t much”t much”

Case studies based on reflections from CARE International’swork in promoting gender equity and diversity in the district’s

of Polonnaruwa and Batticaloa(Sri Lanka)

A publication of the Program Quality and Learning Unit (PQL) of CAREInternational Sri Lanka

June 2009June 2009June 2009June 2009June 2009

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ForwardOur Strategic Plan identifies gender inequity as a key underlying cause of poverty in Sri Lanka. Our plan highlights genderinequities as a particularly acute form of social exclusion in the country, which significantly impedes development and socialjustice leading to systemic discrimination at the household, community, and national level.

For many years now, CARE’s programing in Sri Lanka has paid greater attention to the way in which poverty effects women.This continues to shape our work today, and will continue to do so in the future. This is also reflective of CARE’s global focuson marginalized women and girls.

It is unfortunate that we often find ourselves living in situations where women have become acutely marginalized. We see manyexamples where women lack voice and participation, have limited access to employment and livelihood opportunities, faceincreased insecurity, and have all too often become the victims of gender based violence – violence that has become acceptedand invariably goes unnoticed.

In response to this, CARE’s work in Sri Lanka continues to seek ways to address the many complex issues and underlyingproblems facing women today. It is important to note that this does not mean that our work is carried out in isolation of men, butrather men continue to be very much engaged in our work to address the many forms of gender inequities. For example, inrecent years, our work in the east has focused on women headed households where we have supported communities throughthe formation and strengthening of representative networks and service providers that seek to address and prevent genderbased violence. This has also included being clear about how we define a women headed household - beyond the traditional‘widowed’ definition to one that is inclusive of a range of additional categories. In doing so this draws attention to the multifaceted issues and needs of such households and responses that are appropriate and comprehensive.

A lot of CARE’s work today is undertaken with the support and participation of many different government and non-governmentpartners. Work that seeks to inform debate and change at a variety of levels – be it at the community, district or national level.Collectively we seeks to achieve positive change in the lives and livelihoods of women through addressing the ever growingdimensions that lead to gender based inequities.

Whilst this publication highlights many of the issues and problems facing women in Sri Lanka today, our hope is that itstimulates thought and ideas about the positive opportunities and solutions that can lead to the creation of an environment

where women are seen as equal partners in development – be it at the household, community, district or national level.

Nick Osborne,Country Director,Care InternationalSri Lanka.

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IntroductionSince 1990 CARE Sri Lanka has actively sought to mainstream gender equity and diversity in its programmingand within the organization. From an organizational point of view, this involved the development andinstitutionalization of a gender policy and relevant codes of conduct. Programmatically having recognized thelack of gender equity and diversity as a cause for poverty and social injustice, CARE undertook to betterunderstand its manifestations and deal with these issues amongst those communities it works with. Thisconcequently resulted in significant changes in its programming and within the organization. Throughout thischallenging process CARE continued to reinstate its commitment towards institutionalizing programme quality,knowledge sharing and learning in gender equity and diversity.

In addition to integrating GED within its development projects that focused on vulnerable and poor communitiesin the tea and rubber plantations, dry zone and conflict affected areas in Sri Lanka, CARE also continued tobuild on the work it initiated in 2003 that focuses on preventing gender based violence. More recently CAREreinstated the work it began in 2002 with regards to sensitizing duty beaers responsibilities to women headedhouseholds and nurturing these households decision making power. Over the years having understood the opportunities as well as the challenges in mainstreaming GED, ensuringincreased levels of impact, accountability and learning it has become necessary to better understand the keylessons learned in institutionalizing these processes as well as to help us define the way forward. Therefore thisbooklet is an attempt by CARE to bring together its learning and experiences and provide specificrecommendations to move forward. Observations generated from focus group discussions with staff, beneficiariesand partners as well as evaluations of specific initiatives were used to inform the writting of this booklet that isavailable in Sinhala, Tamil and English. It is our hope that the stories in this booklet in addtion to enhancinglearning will also prompt greater reflection by readers of the issues highlighted. We hope that the questionsraised will help provoke reflection and stimulate discussions and possibly provide insights with regards to theissues highlighted. Space has been provided for readers to document their thoughts. Please feel free to contactus.V. WeerasinghamProgram Advisor – GenderProgram Quality and Learning Unit

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Acknowledgement

This booklet is product of numerous individuals invaluable insight and would not have been possible without the support of many. In particular our project staff S.Luxananth, Thamara Nada Kumari, Chulaka Wijwthilaka, S.P. Dilani De Silva, Thivia Radhakrusnan, Vimal Jayanishantha, Sellaiya Kangshwaran, Subangani Kaamali Sagayanathan, S.Kumudini, Selvaraja Selvagaran, Jothiraja Karunendra need to be acknowledged. We would also like to acknowledge Kusala Wettesinghe, Nazeera Farwin, Edward Ragal and S. Sivagurunathan contributions. Ashika Serasundara, Susil Liyanarachi, Nick Osborne, Greg Chapman, T. Thangavel and Priyanka Samarakoon guidence and support is greatly appreciated, while financial support was provided by the Gender Equity and Diversity Fund of CARE International USA.

Finally a special thank you goes to the men and women of the communities in Polonnaruwa and Batticaloa who kindly shared their stories.

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About the AuthorKusala Wettesinghe is a development researcher with special interest in – psychosocial work, gender, children’sconsultations and development communication. Ms. Wettesinghe is a trainer and resource person for project assessments,evaluations, research and development of creative communication. Over the years she has designed a number ofresearch and training initiative on gender issues, child development and psychosocial activities. She has considerableexperience in interacting with communities dealing with with various social issues. Based this Ms. Wettesinghe haswritten several articles and papers focusing on children, rural development, women issues,science, foreign affairs andgender issues. Chidlren’s books authoured by Ms. Wettesinghe include Boru Kakul and Stilt Walter. Those co-authored include Balancing the Load - on Gender and Transport issues (2002, Zed Books, London & New York).

About CARE International In Sri Lanka

CARE International in Sri Lanka was established in 1950. Initially the organization focused on food-related programmesand addressing maternal and child health issues. However, in the 1980’s programming was diversified in order torespond to the changing needs of the country and the organization’s wider objective of poverty alleviation. This led toemphasis placed on agriculture, the management of natural resources, small economic activity development, and reliefand rehabilitation activities.

In the 1990’s CARE continued to decentralize its service delivery structures and began implementing programmesthrough a network of field offices around the country. During this time its project portfolio continued to reflect acommitment to poverty alleviation. In recent years CARE’s programmes have sought to move beyond addressing thetraditional causes of household and community vulnerability, and to address the underlying issues of marginalizationand exclusion. CARE programs and projects continue to focus on three main target groups in specific geographicareas: poor rural communities in the dry zone, conflict-affected populations in the northeast and residents of SriLanka’s tea and rubber estates. Following the Indian Ocean tsunami in December 2004, CARE International SriLanka expanded its work to support tsunami survivors in seven of the worst-affected districts. curently CARE worksin 8 districts in Sri Lanka these include Hambanthota, Monaragala, Ampara, Batticaloa, Polonarruwa, Vavuniya,Jaffna, and Nuwara Eliya.

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“A slap does not hurt that much.”Case study 11111

Case study 22222

Case study 3 3 3 3 3Understanding slander and silence.

Polonnaruwa

A time to rejoice and re-direct.The Village Level Action Group of

Polonnaruwa

Batticaloa.

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“A slap does not hurt that much”

This scenario is created, based on the observations of a Men’sAction Group formed by CARE Sri Lanka in the village ofMalligai* in Batticaloa. The story aims to bring out the viewsand sentiments expressed by the members of the Action Group.Names and other descriptions that lead to the identification ofpeople or specific situations have been changed to ensureconfidentiality.

* The village name fictional

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Manidaran is angry. He sits on thedoorstep of his home, fuming with anger.

The door behind him is closed. It is locked andManidaran cannot enter his home. “How dareshe!” he mutters to himself. “How dare she leavehome when she knows that I have to go to thistraining programme tomorrow morning?”Manidaran’s wife, Kamala leaves home andgoes to her own mothers’ house at least onceevery few months.

After a bitter quarrel that often ends in Manidaranbeating her, Kamala’s late night weeping andleaving home with their toddler son and infantdaughter once her older sons have left for schooland Manidaran has left for work is not an unusualhappening in their home. In such a situation,Manidaran knows well that Kamala has left thehouse keys with their next door neighbour. The twoolder sons will not return home until dark becausethey know that their mother is away. They will eatat one of their relatives who lives close by or at afriend’s house. No one is overly concerned aboutthese ‘family fights’. It happens in most homes.

Yet, Manidaran does not go to collect the keys. Heis angry not because he misses his cup of tea thatKamala always has ready for him when he returnsfrom work. Whether they have had a bitter quarrelthe night before or not; whether he has beaten herand she has kept up crying all night or not, shealways gets him a hot cup of tea early next morning.If she is home, she will make his tea in the eveningtoo. “Ah, she is alright now, she does not feel badabout the fight now’ Manidaran thinks with relief.He does not want to drag on a quarrel.“Women easily forget a beating, even though thebruises remain for some days”, Manidaran thinks.“Physical beating is quite different from bitterwords that stay on for a long time in one’s mind,

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how she nags him! He wishes he could forgether nagging. She deserves to be beaten whenshe nags so” Manidarana thinks. He is not sorrythat he had beaten her the night before.

“Women need to be silenced and kept in theirplace. They sometimes forget their place in thehouse. It is all these organizations that come andspoil the women, telling them that they should betreated equally…Aah…..” Manidaran stops halfway in his own thoughts. What about his plight?He too is a member of a villageaction group that CARE hasformed in their village. How canhe face the officials of theorganization tomorrow? Howcan he participate in thediscussions about violence andthe pain of being beaten? Canhe keep a straight face and givesuggestions as to how menshould behave sensitively andcaringly in the homes when hehas beaten up his wife the day before?Manidaran remembers that he was extremelyproud when the officials of CARE came andasked the men in their village to come for ameeting to form a Men’s Action Group. This wasthe first time that anyone in the community had

heard of a Men’s Action Group. The officials hadtold them that it is the first time that men wouldwork collectively as a group to help reduceviolence against women and children.

Manidaran and his friends knew that theorganization had earlier formed a Women’s ActionGroup in his village. Sethu’s wife and Jayapala’swidowed sister were members of it.They and other women went for meetings and metregularly to discuss cases of violence that had

been reported to them. It was saidthat this women’s group had madecontacts with several usefulgovernment offices in the area: Thepolice was foremost among these. Atfirst the men were surprised about aWomen’s Action Group being formedto help women and children who faceviolence in their homes and in thecommunity. Then, their surpriseturned into anger, and anger intoridicule.

Manidaran and his friends in the neighbourhoodhad often laughed about it. “Look at the crazy timeswe live in… We men are at home while the womenhave been trained to run to the police station whensome violent incident takes place in the home orwhen women are harmed.” They joked, feeling

A slap does not hurt that much

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somewhat peevish about being identified as‘those who create violence in the homes…. theones who dominate the women. Manidaran feltthat the Women’s Action Group seemed tochallenge the leadership of the men.

“Did they forget that it is we men who ride bikes?We can reach a police station much faster thanthey do. Besides, some of those women havenot even stepped out of their houses before….Some are so scared of their husbands…. Howcan they talk to the police about their men hittingthem?”, Manidaran and his friends hadcommented. Yet, months later, the women wereseen going to the police or directing women whofaced violence to report their cases to theWomen’s and Children’s Desk at the local policestation.

Sometimes, when a woman had to take fortreatment to hospital after a violent incident, thisWomen’s Action Group was reported to haveasked them to go the “GBV1 desk’ at theBatticaloa hospital. The men were not too clearwhat exactly the ‘GBV desk” was but some ofthem were aware that it helped women who facedviolence and advised the men to stop theiraggressive behaviour against the women andchildren in the family.

When CARE, after successfullyforming the Women’s ActionGroup in their village approachedthe men and asked them also towork as an action group, the menwere excited. They felt that theywere being recognized for theircapacity to deal with violentsituations.

“Finally, they (the organisaiton andits officials) are realizing that wemen are the leaders. We will soonbe doing what the Women’s ActionGroup is doing. We too will beintroduced to the police so that wetoo can report on violence. After all,it is a man’s job to intervene inmatters of violence.” Manidaran’swork mate and neighbour Suranjansaid, holding up his arm andjokingly flexing his muscles in ashow of his physical strength.

However, introducing the Men’sAction Group to the police in thearea had not happened as themembers had eagerly expected.

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A Slap does not hurt that much

“Whatelseis

there toteach aman tobecome

aleader?Men

are anywayborn

leaders,aren’tthey?”That is

Manidaran’sview.

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All that had happened so far was a series ofmeetings and a few training programmes. “Whatis there to teach men so much about leadership?What is this all this talk about power in the family?”the men asked somewhat frustrated with the delay.They were eager to see their action group as activeand as recognized as the women’s action group.Every time the group met for a training programmeor for their monthly meeting, the members askedthe officials about introducing them formally to thepolice in the area. “All in good time. All in goodtime. First we must understand why we are workingas a collective of men”, the official had replied.In the training programmes that were held for them,much of the talk was on violence against womenand children and how the men must be moreconsiderate towards the women. Mandiaranlonged to say that men hit women because ofwomen’s faults: either the women would nag theirmen until they could not bear it any longer or theywould neglect their house work and be just lazy.Some womenwould spend time gossiping whilesome others would spend the hard earned moneyon unnecessary things like trinkets. Men wouldwork hard all day long and when they come home,they had no peace. Was that fair? Is it tolerable?Manidaran wanted to ask. He and most of the othermembers in the Men’s Action Group felt that womenoften deserved the beating they got.

“Besides, what is a slap or two? The bruise goesaway in a few days and then the women forgeteverything. A slap is easy to forget. It is us menwho really suffer because of their harsh words,

annoying hints andnagging. Howmuch we men haveto tolerate?”Jayapala wouldlater say. Theothers would nod inagreement. “Canwe easily forgettheir harsh wordsand insultingc o m m e n t s ? ”Manidaran would

question his fellow membersearnestly, his voice full of selfpity. “Words really hurt. Theanger stays on in our heartsand it just comes out in a burst.We cannot help that, can we?”the others would agree in unison.


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Although these sentiments were discussedamong them after the training programmes orquietly during the tea or lunch breaks, they darednot openly say these to the officials and thetrainers who worked with them. They did not wantto be identified as people who are not suitable tobe in a Men’s Action Group that was working toprevent violence in the homes and theneighbourhood. They knew what standards orcodes of behaviour were expected of them asmuch as they knew the patterns of their own lives.

“Not that the organisation can afford to ask us anyof us members to stay away because we talk orbehave aggressively” Manidaranthought with a wry smile.

One year after the formation of theinception of the Men’s ActionGroup, much of the initialenthusiasm seemed to havewaned. Over sixty men had cometo the first meeting that was calledto form the Men’s Action Group:The men had come with manyexpectations. In about two monthsduring which only meetings wereheld, the numbers had reduced toabout fifty and in another twomonths or so, it dwindled to thirty.

Although there are about twenty members in theaction group currently, it is about ten to twelvemembers who come more or less regularly to themonthly meetings and to the occasionally heldtraining programmes. The organization has beenquite sensitive to the life styles of the men, andtheir responsibilities of having to earn for theirfamilies. Therefore, the meetings were usually heldon a weekend or in an evening. Despite this andthe opportunity to go to training programmes, onlya few members continued to be part of the actiongroup.

Manidaran remembered that they have not had ameeting for about two months. What is theproblem with the organization? Are theylosing interest? Is there a lack of moneyto support the Men’s Action Group? Hasthe organization changed their plans?Manidaran did not care very muchbecause it was good enough for him tobe part of this Action Group, which to himdenoted power.

Manidaran and his friends continued tocome to be part of the Men’s Action Groupbecause they felt that it would give themsome power to deal with the tension andthe violence of the area – being asuburban town in Batticaloa, had been

“How much difficultit is to forget thescolding of women?”asks Manidaran in avoice full of self pity. “(Their) words likedaggers stab theheart. The pent upanger in the heart suddenly erupts.Can we stop that

anger?


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strife with armed conflict and a scene of sporadicfighting until recently, the men felt that it would beextremely good if they could develop closer linkswith the police through the Men’s Action Group.Gang fights, sudden security raids,arrests, abductions had been a part oftheir lives for a long time. A link with thelaw enforcement mechanism givespeople a sense of security.

Still seated on the doorstep, Manidaranlooks at the sky. The sun is going down.He has been thinking of their Action Groupfor a long time. He gets up from the doorstep and wanders down the road.

“The wife will come home in a dayor two. It is not a cause for worry”.But he has to get his clothes,soap and stuff ready and keepsome money for the dailyexpenses for the two days that hewould be away. He cannotarrange all this without the helpof his wife. It is she who usually gets his clothesready and looks after the home, managing whatever money he gives until he returns. “She is agood woman,” Manidaran feels. He cannotunderstand why she has to nag him so for taking

a swig of moonshine after a hard day’s work. Yes,sometimes he gets a little drunk, sometimes morethan a little drunk, but he does provide for hisfamily, doesn’t he. Why does she have to nag him

for this? Manidaranwonders irritably.

On the way hemeets Selva andJayendra. Both menare returning afterwork. Both aremembers of theMen’s ActionGroup. Selva, wellinto his middle age,works as a daily

labourer while Jayendra, much younger, works asa clerk in a government office. Manidaran and hisneighbourhood friends are happy to havesomeone as educated as Jayendra in their ActionGroup.

Selva and Jayendra stop to speak withManidaran. Soon they notice his dejected lookand inquire the reasons for it. Manidarancomplains that his wife has ‘run home’ to hermother after a fight last night and that he isannoyed because he has to prepare his clothes


If we join the Men’s Action Group we get the chance of knowing the officers in the police. It will give us confidence during these

troubled times. Men should take the leadership in these kinds of work…

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to take for an overnight stay at the trainingprogramme: He also has to attend to householdmatters all by himself, before he leaves tomorrow.The co-members of the Men’s Action Group arequite sympathetic.

“Remember, at the last meeting our sir (official ofCARE Sri Lanka) said that we have to think ofthe pain of being hit…. He said that we, men,would feel the pain and the shame of beinghit……” Selva begins to say something. Thediscussion that had happened in one of thetraining sessions, about the dignity of humanbeings and the shame and the pain of being hit isclearly etched in Selva’s mind. Hehad often thought about it, and hasat times felt bad about his ownaggressive behaviour at home. Heseems to be the only member oftheir Action Group who believesthat a husband’s slap hurts muchmore or as much as a wife’s harshwords and that the men should trynot to hit their wives.Jayendra quickly interrupts Selva, “Yes, I toothought that it was a good way to start thediscussion. I too felt, at that time, that it was wrongto hit one’s wife or daughter. But do you know,when I went home after work a few days later, ourhouse was a mess! My wife had not cleaned the

house: Said she was busy because she had tovisit a friend in the hospital. That may be true. Butkeeping the house clean is a wife’s responsibility.Looking after the children too is a wife’s duty.When Iwent home, I found the daughter had goneout to play and my wife did not know where shewas. The house was not cleaned. I really lost mytemper when she tried to argue with me too, afterall this neglect. I forgot all what we discussed atthe training and I hit her hard. I do not think I waswrong.”

Selva opens his mouth to say something butlooking at the angry faces ofManidaran and Jayendra, hestops.

“In our training programmesthey tell us we must not hitwomen. They say that we mustsupport the women to be moreconfident and powerful and thatwe should respect them. Theydo not tell us how we, the men,

can remain as the heads of our homes unless weuse our power to silence our wives when they tryto tell us what to do or when they do not do theirduties at home.” Manidaran mutters. “You are quiteright Mani” Jayendra says. “If we don’t behave


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powerfully as men are expected to behave, thesociety would laugh at us.”

Selva nods thoughtfully. “Yes, that is true. It will beeasier for us men if we understand why we wantto hit our wives and children or our younger sisterswhen we are angry” Selva says slowly.

Actually, why does a man take out his anger onhis wife and family? Why do men feel that theyknow best about everything other than cooking,washing and looking after the children? Why domen feel low when they don’t know as much astheir women folk do about an economic or politicalmatter or when the women take decisions that arewiser than the men’s decisions? Why do men feelbad when other men who are more powerful thanthem insult them? Do our wives too feel insulted

and inferior when wemen hit them andshout at them? Selvawonders. He is tornbetween the power hewants to keep as thehead of his householdand a dominant maleand being a sensitiveand an understandingman. He wishes thatthe discussions and

trainings they have had throughtheir action group had givenmore attention to suchdilemmas that men face.However, he does not voicethese thoughts. He too does notwant to be ridiculed by othermen for being ‘too soft’ or ‘beingafraid of his wife’. Societyexpects men to be rough, strongand brave, doesn’t it? Selvaasks himself silently. “Who am Ito challenge the ways of thesociety?”

“How will you prepare your stufffor the trip tomorrow?Remember, we will be away fortwo days” Selva asksManidaran. “I will bring somebreakfast for you. Don’t worryabout that.” He offers.

“Training, training, training andmeetings….. That is all thatseems to happen in our actiongroup……. When will theorganization introduce us to thepolice and start us off as a

How domen retain

theirprominentposition inthe familywithout

resorting toaction that

exhibicttheir

power ormanlness

.......................

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.......................

.......................

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.......................

Do men thinkthat they know

everythingapart from

cooking,washingclothes

and lookingafter children ?


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proper action group?...... “ Munidaran muttersirritably. Then he says, “I will ask my older sons togo ask my wife to come home. She had bettercome today. If not, she will have to face theconsequences when I return!”

“No need to get so angry, Mani, Ask your boys tospeak to their grandma. She will send her daughterhome quickly. After all, being slapped by your manis no big deal. I am sure the mother has had hershare of beating in her own married life. She willask her daughter to returnhome when her husbandsends for her. The oldergeneration of women still livesby the age old traditionalways. It is only now that thereis all this talk about not hittinga woman and that it is aviolation of a woman’s rightand all that….” Jayendrasays. He stops at the bus halt to catch a bus to thetown.

“Yeah. Yeah……” Manidaran nods in agreementand adds. “Stopping violence is one thing: Gettinga woman to be obedient to her man so that thereis peace at home is another thing.Yeah….Yeah…Yeah.” He turns to go back, to lookfor his sons.

“True…. True….. strange though that with all ourcriticizing, we too have somehow become part ofthis change. Wish we understood better what weare doing through our Men’s Action Group.” Selvasays with a disappointed smile and walks on.

*******

˜


’

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A time to rejoice and re-directThe Village Level Action Group

This is a village not too far from the town of Polonnaruwa. Letus identify it by the name of Mullai* This is the story of agroup of courageous women and men who joined together,with the support of an organization to deal with the highdegree of violence faced by the women and children of theirvillage.

* village name fictional

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The mid day sun is hot as it usually is in thedry season in Polonnaruwa. Yet Mala1, aslim woman nearing middle age, is tending

to some plants in her home garden. As she weedsa patch of vegetables in the scorching sun shefrequently steals glances at the backyard almostas if she is expecting a visitor to emerge from thescrub forest bordering her home. A while later shesees a woman and a young girl step out from theforest cover and hurry towards her house. Thevisitors do not surprise her. Signaling them tocome in from the back door Mala too goes in. Thethree of them speak in hushed tones. The soft

crying of the young girl can be heard but what theydiscuss is not heard outside. A little while laterMala makes tea for the visitors and soon theyleave stealthily as they came. Mala sits on herdoorstep sipping her cup of tea. She has atroubled expression on her face.

She sees Karuna walking towards her house.Karuna stands near the stile and shouts, “Akke(elder sister) we have a meeting of the VLAG nextweek don’t we? Have you informed all the othermembers?”

Mala does not shout back. She goes up to Karunaand speaks softly. “Yes. We do have a meetingnext Monday. I have informed the other eightmembers too.” They chat for a while about theVLAG but Mala does not tell her friend, neighbourand co-member of the society of which both aremembers, about the issue that is troubling her

The VLAG is the Village Level Action Groupformed to help deal with the violence againstwomen and children that is prevalent in the villageof Mullai The action group initiated through theinterest of CARE has ten members: Eight womenincluding Karuna and Mala and two men. Mala isthe president.

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Later in the afternoon Mala goes to the town todo her marketing. On her way she quietly stopsat a phone booth and calls CARE. She asks forthe relevant officer and informs him about theattempted rape incident that was brought to hernotice earlier in the day.

Your group discussed aboutthat problem didn’t you? thatcrook was taken away bythe police

She does not reveal the nameof the girl or her mother who

visited her to tell this. She mentions the namesof the alleged culprits and request that thepolice are informed. She has already asked thesurvivor of this violence to go to the Women andChildren’s Desk of the police station. Will theCARE office look into this matter and referthem to appropriate places for the necessarysupport, she requests. A few days later when aman is arrested for alleged rape no one in thevillage knows who informed the police.

“It must be that Action Group that informed thepolice” some villagers guess. Some gossipabout it, some even ask the VLAG members

whether they had discussed such a casebut truthfully they have not. None in theVLAG except the informant knows whobrought the case to the VLAG’s notice orwho passed on the information to therelevant law enforcement and serviceagencies for necessary action. Steps thatneed to be taken are taken in extremesecrecy.

“Confidentiality” seems to be the key word inthis ‘secret pass’ of the VLAG in the villageof .Mullai . Anyone undergoing harassmentor physical or mental violence due toimbalanced gender power relations oranyone who knows of such a happening canapproach a member of the VLAG withtheir ‘secret’.

No, we never talk thisissue with our team

It could be a case of ayoung girl student beingmolested in a school underthe guise of a special computer class or itcould be the frustration of many village wives

A time to rejoice and re-direct

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because their husbands visit a sex worker who issupported by a few powerful individuals in the areaor it could be a case of attempted rape. Whensuch an incident or a threat of such a situation istold in confidence to a member of the VLAG,intervention to address the issue could pose manyrisks for the informant as well as the VLAGmembers.

Therefore the VLAG memberwho comes to know of such asituation acts cautiously,without even sharing it with therest of the members of theVLAG:

This high level of caution andconfidentiality is essentialbecause bringing domestic orother forms of gender basedviolence to the notice ofauthorities or serviceproviders may anger the perpetrators of violence.In the village of Mullai, passing on information ofsuch ‘secrets’ could even pose threats to theirlives. The gravity of the dangers involved in this‘secret pass’ is best understood if one is familiarwith the context of the village of Mullai.

Bordering a famed religious site with ancient ruinsin Polonnaruwa, the village of Mullai consists of alarge extent of land. The villagers believe the landarea to be not less than 400 sq km. Much of thevillage is under scrub forest cover. Thus, thevillage, although not too far from the town, issparsely populated and has stretches of lonelyforest areas.

Over the years this village hasserved as an ideal ground forcrimes such as rape and as ahide out for men evadingarrests by the police.

Some of the communitymembers are natives of thearea while there are severalfamilies who have fled to theseparts after disputes with theirown communities or allegedlyafter committing crimes. The

varying life styles, the unfamiliarity with each others’traditions and value systems and the need of somefamilies to live in secrecy has not providedfavorable ground for deep bonding among thefamilies in the community.


- 27 -

This was the nature of the village of Mullai whenCARE began working in the village about 3 yearsago. The district level policy makers and lawenforcement authorities had recommended thatCARE work in this village if they wished todemonstrate the effectiveness of a mechanismthat helps reduce gender power related violence.

The village ofMullai had been officially reportedas having a high rate of gender based violence,some of which were categorized as hard crimes.A rape and murder incident, which received muchpublicity, had alreadymarred the name ofthe village.

A gang-protectedfemale sex workerwas operating in thearea and brewingmoonshin, whileheavy consumption of illicit alocohol was anotable feature of the village.

How does one step into such a location andinitiate a dialogue on gender power relations andthe violence stemming from it? On the one handphysical and gang power based violence wasprevalent. On the other, traditional value systems

of the area in which genderdiscourse at community levelhad not hitherto happened wasnot conducive for a discussion ongender power relations:Stereotypical gender roles wereheld in high regard.

CARE had to cautiously select itsapproach. After much discussionat the sub office inPolonnnaruwa, CARE decidedto take a non-aggressiveapproach based on positiveaspects of the family unit.

They also decided to workdirectly with the community. Thenormal procedure was to workthrough a local partnerorganization. Working directlywould give them more space totry out effective options.

In the initial discussions, CAREtalked of the value of the familyunit and the support of bothhusband and wife that helpssafeguard family unity. They usedlocally used expressions and

Somemenindulge

in violenceagainstchildren

andwomen by

hidingbehind

rowdinessand

\traditionalvalues.

What doyou think?opinion?

‘ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’‘ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’‘ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’‘ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’‘ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’‘ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’‘ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’‘ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’‘ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’‘ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’‘ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’‘ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’‘ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’‘ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’‘ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’‘ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’‘ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’‘ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’‘ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’‘ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’‘ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’‘ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’‘ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’‘ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’‘ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’‘ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’‘ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’‘ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’‘ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’‘ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’‘ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’‘ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’‘ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’‘ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’‘ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’‘ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’‘ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’‘ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’‘ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’‘ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’‘ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’‘ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’‘ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’‘ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’‘ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’‘ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’‘ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’‘ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’‘ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’‘ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’


- 28 -

phrases, carefully avoiding any technical orpopular terminology that is typically used ingender discourses. Thus, phrases such as‘gender based violence’ or ‘violence againstwomen’ were hardly used in the communitydiscussions.

CARE representatives talked about how lovingand peaceful a family unit could be and thecommunity responded with a more realistic andfamiliar perception of how frequently ‘sandu’(quarrels) and ‘gori’ (fighting) occur in many of theirfamilies, especially if the men have had liquor.They also talked about how vulnerable womencould be within and outside their homes.

The immediate objective of the intervention wasto form a committee that would help ensure theunity of the family and help protect women andchildren from violence. The initial discussionswere followed by the formation of the Village LevelAction Group (VLAG) and raising awareness ofpossible situations where women and children aresubjected to violence.

For this, CARE chose an approach that wouldattract the attention of both women and men andthe young and the old. They showed street dramasbased on five selected themes.

The themes included challenges faced by widows;those faced by girls who work in garment factories;harassments faced by women when traveling inthe bus; alcohol dependency and resulting in familyquarrels and the negative impact of alcoholdependency on children’s education.

The staging of street dramas were followed,wherever possible, with discussions on how theaudience felt about the issues raised in thedramas.

Mala recounts the early stage of the interventionwhen we meet a few of the VLAG members in2008.We are interested to study how amechanism such as a VLAG can function in avillage to make a significant change with regardsto gender based violence in a village.

Mala remembers, “even before CARE came totalk about this, we knew that many incidents ofviolence and crime were happening in our villageor in the nearby areas. We also knew that somepeople living in our village were responsible or wereassociated with such happenings. There wereeven murders and rapes. Each time we heard ofsuch a case we were afraid for the safety of uswomenfolk and our children, especially ourdaughters. We lived with this tension. We felt we


- 29 -

had to do something about this but could not eventhink of what we could do.”

“We saw, we observed, and waited with fear forthe situation to improve. We dared not act on ourown or inform the police or any other authority…..It was at this stage that CARE came into thevillage.”

“What they said and how they were going to dealwith the issue seemed to match what we had beenfeeling. That is why I decided to join with them.”What specific features in the approach attractedthem to be part of it? We ask. Karuna is eager toexplain and Mala adds on the details. “In thebeginning we did not have a clear idea of whatthey were going to do or whether we would evenbe active partners of this.”

“We came for the discussions because it was notproblematic for us to attend….. It was notthreatening to us because they were only talkingabout the unity of the family…. later when we cameto know of their way of working we felt that CAREaccepts the fact that we were afraid to directlychallenge the wrong-doers. In the way we worknow, no one in the village needs to know whoinformed the VLAG or which member of the VLAGinformed the police or any other authority.”

“That is why we don’t even tell one another in theVLAG about the cases we refer. When we arenot able to help a person who comes to us wecan discuss the case in the VLAG but withoutgiving out the details.”

Was it easy to learn to work with such secrecyand confidentiality? Did they not want to blurt outthe burdensome secrets to a fellow VLAGmember? The three women members with whomwe are talking to exchange smiles indicating that


- 30 -

it was a practice they had tocultivate through trial and error. “Itwas not easy. In the beginning therewere a few lapses, but fortunatelythese were not serious incidentsand we learnt that we have torespect the confidence of thefamilies or individuals who come tous. If we do not do this there will bequarrels among us members andwe will put ourselves in danger”they explain.

Secrecy and confidentiality maybring a certain degree of individualprotection but is it sufficient to protect them as agroup? Don’t’ the perpetrators of violence threatenor target the VLAG members as a group whenthey can’t singly identify the informant? We arecurious to know.

“Yes. Especially when there were court cases orwhen we tried to stop a sex worker operating fromnearby our villages we did face many threats”,Mala says and looks at Karuna who eagerlyexplains further, “there was one case where wewere particularly afraid because the families ofthose who were arrested threatened us. We keptvigil in each other’s houses. On our own also wetook precautions.”

“During that time, I used to sleep with an axe anda bottle of chillie powder by my side..… we wereafraid but we did not give up..…. sometimes ourhusbands or other family members would shout atus and say that we are placing everyone in danger.But later they realized that we are doing aservice….. that definitely was not an easy time forus.”

Sujeewa, another VLAG member and a youngmother speaks while she paces up and down thehall to stop her baby from crying. “CARE has givenus the telephone numbers of the police and otheruseful people whom we can contact in anemergency. They have even given us their personalphone numbers so that we do not feel we are inthis alone.”

Mala explains, “Now that many people in the villageknow what we are doing and also that we have thesupport of the police, things are easier for us. Itwas at the beginning that we faced many threats.However, we continue to be cautious when we refercases.”

Bandara, a youth who introduces himself as amember of the street drama group that helpedraise awareness on gender based violence, recallsan incident that was a turning point in the


- 31 -

development of the VLAG. It was not only anincident that reduced the hitherto frequent quarrelsin some families but one which also opened thecommunity’s eyes as to how women could beexploited. A female sex worker had beenoperating close to the village. Allegedly, a gang ofpowerful men in the community were using her asa source of income for them.The VLAG had talked with thewoman several times and hadasked her to stop this practiceas it created many problems forsome families in theircommunity. Her position wasthat she had to support a familywithout the assistance of amale and therefore had no otheroption.

Recounts Bandara, “One day an ugly brawl brokeout in the community over this issue. Some peoplein the village became very angry and wanted tochase this woman away.

We intervened and began to talk with her. Sheexplained her situation and then we too realizedhow helpless she is because she has no meansof supporting herself or her family. Later, a manfrom a nearby village who watched this scene

expressed willingness to marry her. Now she ismarried and is living elsewhere. I feel that the factthat anyone came forward to marry this womanwho was earlier shunned by the society indicateshow her situation was understood and how shewon the respect as a woman struggling to surviveand support a family.”

Listening to him we feel thatbeing part of the initiative toreduce gender basedviolence has broadenedBandara’s perspectives. Ifyoung men such as Bandaraare influenced to move fromtheir stereotypical genderbiased views and be moresensitive and humane, that in

itself is an achievement of the VLAG.

The number of youth who are positivelyinfluenced by this may be few, but a process hasbeen initated. We share their smiles of successand move on to explore the scope the VLAG.

Does the community see the VLAG membersas a powerful group? Does the existence of aVLAG or their contacts with the police preventthe alcohol fond husbands from beating theirwives and children?


- 32 -

Karuna replies with an angry ‘Huh!” and a tossof her head. Bandara looks away and Sujeewais busy with the baby. Mala thinks for a momentand says quietly, “We do not interfere in familymatters. It is not appropriate for us to getinvolved in personal matters…. If someone tellsus and if the violence is severe, we help them togo to the Women’s and Children’s desk at thepolice station. But we cannot undertake the roleto talk to the men…… because these arepersonal matters.”

We hold back our questions and our puzzledexpressions: surely discussions on genderpower related violence does relate to domesticviolence too, doesn’t it? Instead we askwhether this is a conscious decision that theVLAG has collectively taken.

The group looks at one another. “No…. notexactly that…. It is just that we don’t … talkmuch about it….We only deal with situationswhere there is violence such as rape or graveincidents of that nature.

Again Mala answers and suddenly Karunablurts out with suppressed anger, “Once I triedto stop a group of young men in the village from

making fun of a young girl whowalked pass them and theybecame angry and shouted atme. Who are you to tell uswhat to do, they asked me.”

“I felt embarrassed whenthese boys much youngerthan me shouted at me on theroad. After that I don’t try tostop such harassments. I feelit is wrong…… but we don’twant to be laughed at by theother villagers.”

An uneasy silence hangsaround us. Obviously they arenot happy with the level ofdomestic and other genderbased harassments which areprobably considered ‘minormatters’ by many people inthe community.

However, they do not feelsufficiently confident to dealwith it. In a locality such astheirs, perhaps it is prudent to

It is not appropriate

for theoutsiders

tointervene

infamilymattersIs thisright?

Orwrong?

............................

............................

............................

............................

Is an incidenceof a group ofboys making funof a girl walkingon the road aviolent activityor not?


- 33 -

be conscious of the limitations of theintervention.

We, who are strangers in their village, cannotfully understand the risks and apprehensionsthey have to deal with, if they try to openlycombat all forms and degrees ofgender based violence in theircommunity.

We give them time to think andmove on to ask them about thesignificant factors they havecontributed to their success inreducing the ‘hardcore’ violenceagainst women and children.

If the perpetrators of violence arephysically powerful and have thesupport of their gangs, how has theVLAG been able to win theconfidence of the community tocome to the VLAG when they facegrave forms of violence?

How have they managed to maintain a balancebetween being easily accessible to thecommunity while ensuring that informants’

identification details are not revealed? Howhave they managed to build trust in thecommunity?

In response to our questions Karuna, Bandaraand Sujeewa relate much anecdotal evidence

which illustrates the effectiveness oftheir work.

A mixture of emotions ranging fromfear and sympathy for those whofaced violence to anger against theperpetrators and their supportersand a sense of victory in the caseswhere the matters were successfullybrought to the courts is expressedas they speak.

We listen to them with interest,however, it is Mala’s recapturing of thekey factors that really holds our keenattention.

She speaks with clarity and confidence and wefeel that in her quiet and capable manner shecontributes immensely to maintain the delicate


- 34 -

balance the VLAG must keep between beingstrong but not aggressive.

Mala identifies 8 points which she saysspecifically contributed to the success of theVLAG. These, as expressed by her, are:

1. Trust is primary. We have to trust oneanother in the VLAG.

2. Clarity whenunderstanding an issue isimportant. This comesfrom an interest to beknowledgeable about ourown environment.

3. We need to maintain confidentiality. Weshould be friendly with everyone in thevillage so that it will be easier for peopleto talk to us withoutattracting anyone’sattention unduly. Afterlistening to a case weshould never repeat it toanother personunnecessarily or talkabout it in a way that the

informant can be identified.

4. Flexibility is also very important. We needto be able to understand that an issue canbe complex and that our initialunderstanding of the problem may not becorrect. We should be willing to look intoand understand a case even as many asten times.

5. Patience – We should not get all excitedand worked up when we hear of a case.We should clarify and understand the issuewell and act with caution and confidentiality.We have to have patience for this.

6. We, the VLAG members, need to have agood understanding of the places andcontact persons that can assist people indifferent types of cases.

7. The villagers recognize our service butthey will want to maintain goodrelationships with everyone in the village,including those who are involved in actsof violence. We have to understand andaccept this. We cannot treat people whoare close with those who promoteviolence as our opponents.

Trustamong themembers

In order toclearlyunderstand aproblem/ issue,one has toknow the wholebackground of

it.


- 35 -

8. People in the village willnot work collectively tostop the violence. Whenthey report a case to ussecretly they want us to dosomething to bring thewrong-doers to justice.Yet, they will not comeforward to openly support this. We have tounderstand this.

Mala’s words indicate to us thatshe has well understood thelimitations within which theVLAG must work. Rather thantake an openly activist standagainst the violence the VLAGof Mullai has opted to operatefrom where the community is,understanding theirapprehensions, doubts,challenges as well as their trust,The support of the community is notopenly expressed, but it is felt bythe VLAG members and they arecontent to operate from a lowprofile that does not overtly upsetthe traditional value systems.

Listening to them werecognize both theadvantages anddisadvantages of thisbalance.

The advantages are that theyare able to reach out to the

community to help address thegrave forms of gender based

violence and thereby contribute to somewhatlessening the crime rate in the area. They havebeen able to create a niche for themselves in thesocieties, althoughit is not signpostedby a banner: Theyare able to work asan intermediary linkbetween the

survivors orviolence andthe service andl a wenforcementauthorities.

The disadvantages are that they are notable to use their position as the VLAG tothe highest potential to raise greater

It is important to becompliant. We shouldaccept that we can do

mistakes

If we want topreserve

confidentiality

Patience. We should not be

emotional and act in haste.

We need toknow whom

to go forassistance.

We should not thinkthat those who work

closely withviolent people work

against us.


- 36 -

awareness of the many forms of gender basedviolence: they cannot reach out to the womenand children facing verbal abuse or minorforms of violence. They are notable to reach out to the men inthe village to help themunderstand that they too canshare the household work, justas much as the women in theirfamilies often share the burdenof income generation with themen. The discussion on moreequitable gender powerrelations has stopped midway.

We are curious to find outwhether their personalities and ways ofbehaviour have any bearing on theachievements of the VLAG.

Is the mild and calmer demeanor of Mala moreacceptable to the community than a moreaggressive and challenging conduct ofKaruna? Is this partly a reason for the success?We wonder but keep this question for theCARE staff, whom we ask later on.

According to the project coordinator of this site,both these have immensely contribute to the

success of the project. “There is a time tocampaign and raise your profile, and there is atime to be calm and quiet and take a low

profile.During the stage of awarenessraising, it was Karuna’s role that wasmore prominent. She spoke up whenissues came up or in the discussionsafter the street dramas”.

“She spoke with her heart and itmade many people in the communitylook at the intervention morefavourably. However, when we beganto establish and strengthen the VLAGwe realized that intervention atcommunity level on cases of violence

and making referrals as well as winning the trustof the community required different type ofskills.”

“The leader in this stage had to be calm andquiet and had to have a good balance betweenthe head and the heart when responding to thepeople. Mala’s qualities were ideal for this.”

CARE, being sensitive to the varying qualities ofleadership required at different stages of aproject has been able to avoid a mistake thatmost project staff would have plunged into.

Not all will be prepared tocooperate with us

openly. We should workkeeping this in mind.


- 37 -

Oftenorganizations/projects workwith theopinionleaders whojoin them firstand out ofobligation orwithout givingdueconsiderationto the issue,they aremade leadersof thecommunity level mechanism.Often this results in gaps in the service deliverybecause different types of skills are required forleading an established mechanism.

During our discussion with the VLAG, the issueof support for the VLAG members come upmany times. Who or what are your supportmechanisms?We ask the Mala, Karuna and others.Unanimously they say “CARE. The officers whocome to the village are very supportive. Theywill stand by us in any matter. They are our

biggest support” .Aftersome probing, they namea few other serviceagencies such as theWomen and Children’sdesk at the police stationand the hospital.

What about support fromhigher levels of statedecision making bodies inthe district? We ask,thinking of the Task Forcethat CARE has helpedestablish and the CoreGroup which consists of

the GA, DS and CARErepresentative.

Both these bodies are said tomeet periodically to discusscases that are referred tothem when resolving them atcommunity level have failed.Establishing a support linkagestretching from the communityto the district’s highest stateofficials is one of the mainpositive features of the project.However, despite our

When doingthis kind

work, thereare timeswhen weshould

aggressivelyput acrossour ideas without

hesitation orfear. At thesame timethere are

times when we should

take our timeto

contemplate before doing

work. When

selecting aleader for a association

in the village,we shouldoffer the

leadership tothe

appropriateperson

according tothe specific

time.


- 38 -

repeated probing, we findthat the VLAG memberswho talked with us areunaware of such amechanism.

As far as they areconcerned, this is a serviceprovision mechanism thatlinks the village level societyand CARE and the police,which has been positivelyinfluenced to a certain extentby CARE.

On our way back, wediscuss this issue. Is it goodor bad that the VLAG doesnot consciously drawsupport of the Core Group atthe helm of the district. Onthe one hand, it could beseen as a positive outcome.Even without such a highprofile linkage, these womenand men have braved theopposition of power groupsin their community to

Our biggeststrength is theCARE organi-zation and theinability of thevillage asso-ciation tomake contactswith theadministrationad the decisionmakersexistingbeyond thatorganization.

Is it Good?

Or bad?

collectively work together to help those facinggender based violence and bring perpetratorsto justice.

On the other hand, could the awareness andsupport of the Core Group help further thegender discourse within the village so that itmoves on from the hitherto achieved successand reach out to the many families who wouldbenefit from more equitable gender powerrelations among husbands and wives, mothersand fathers and brothers and sisters?

The success of the VLAG of Mullai hasprogressed and has come to a juncture whereCARE now needs to consider which should itsnext direction be? Should it operate on thesame lines at the same pace which runs therisk of the VLAG losing its momentum becausethey currently handle only grave forms ofviolence against women and children.

The environment in the village is slowlychanging with other organizations and villagesocieties too working towards the improvement


- 39 -

of the village which willin time reduce the levelof hardcore crimes inthe area.

According to oneorganization that wespoke with, during thisvisit, they are active instopping the brewing ofmoonshine in thevillage. When the levelof serious forms ofviolence reduces, willthe VLAG becomedysfunctional becausethere is no longer ademand for theirservices? Could /shouldthe VLAG be helped tosensitively approach theissues of domesticviolence, teasing of girlson the road and otherforms of verbal ormental harassmentsthat stem frominequitable genderpower relations in the

families and the community?These are issues for CARE toconsider when they justlyrejoice in their success in thevillage of Mullai.

********(Footnotes)1 Names and descriptive features thatenables identification of persons orspecific situations have been changedto maintain confidentiality.

=


- 40 -


- 41 -

Understanding the slander and silence.

This story discusses an incident which indicates the disadvantageousposition caused by acting hastily, even though the intention is good.The method that was used to solve the problem has been tested as

successful before, while avoiding the basic steps mentioned inapproaching a village community. In this context it is not only the

project that faces a drawback, but the essential contemporarydiscourse

that could have been brought forththrough the project.

- 42 -

- 43 -

The village is intertwined with gravel pathsnow turned muddy due to the recentshowers of rain. Amali1 a young mother of

two toddlers, walks down a path. Her head isbent with frustration, but tears of fury andhelplessness are overflowing in her eyes.

She hurries down the path, keen not to meetanyone before she reaches her destination.Jayani walks another path but towards the samedestination.

Her head held high with determination shebrusquely walks past the puddles of water,paying little heed to the muddy water that getscaught in her slippers splash around, somespoiling her saree as well. Ranga, a mother of aschool going son, too is headed for the samedestination; she skips over the puddles payingscant regard to the mud that gets splashed allover. She boldly looks around, her eyeschallenging those who may be furtively watchingher.

On the way she meets Leela, a demure womanwho smiles pleasantly and allows Ranga to takethe lead on the path. Leela, however, does notskip over the puddles of muddy water butcarefully avoids them by walking over the grassovergrowth lining the paths.

A little way off at their destination Frieda, amiddle aged woman clad in her long andbrightly coloured long gown, is arranging thechairs in the open verandha of her home. Everynow and then she looks at the front yard to seewhether her visitors would arrive on time.

She is keen that all the members of the VillageLevel Action Group (VLAG) of which she is thepresident come on time to start the meeting

Understanding the slander and silence

- 44 -

without delay. Usually,they start late as thewomen have to tend totheir families needsbefore they come to themeeting. They are keenthat all their domesticresponsibilities are dulymet. If not they may have

to face criticisms from theirhusbands and the older familymembers. These are womenwalking different paths but aimingto reach a common destination –a destination, which is a livingenvironment that is harmoniousand safe and is sensitive to theneeds of women and children.

Seven of the eight women whoform the VLAG of Nelum are from the

village while Jayani, theone who travels fromoutside. She is theiradviser and guidewho has beensupporting them to setup a Village LevelAction Group in the

village of Nelum tofoseussi eht sserdda

domestic violenceand other forms ofissues stemming fromgender power relationsin the village.The village has an officiallyreported high rate of domestic and

gender based violence. It is with thisdisreputable introduction that the localstate administrative authorities ofPolonnaruwa and the local policerecommended CARE to work with thecommunity of Nelum.

CARE , was and still is the onlyinternational non-governmentalorganisation working in the district of

Polonnaruwa. It began working in Polonnaruwain 2003, keen to replicate the success of itsproject on the Prevention of Gender BasedViolence (PGBV) that the organisation hadimplemented in Batticaloa.

A sub office set up in Polonnaruwa initiallyworked with the state policy and decisionmaking agencies of the district to raise their


- 45 -

awareness on issues of gender based violenceand the need to initiate programmes to addressissues of gender power relations (GPR).

After months of awareness raisingprogrammes, discussions and debate amechanism that draws on the strengths of theofficial authority of the stateadministration and the diversity ofexperience of the state and non stateservice providers was set up. Themechanism was headed by amultidisciplinary task force (TF) and acore group (CG) consisting of the GA,DS and the representative of CARE.

Referrals on cases of GPR violence isreported to them through the DistrictLevel Action Group (DLAG) whichliases with the Village level ActionGroups (VLAGs) or directly throughthe CARE Sub Office in Polonnaruwa.Initially CARE worked through partnerorganisations active in selectedvillages of Polonnaruwa.

As the project progressed, the DLAGwas set up to increase thecommunities’ access to support

mechanisms and help them look at genderbased violence from a broader perspective.This broader view understood gender basedviolence as being triggered or aggravated bysocio-economic issues and poor accessibilityto essential services.

The tensions, frustrations,helplessness to influence systemsthat are not sufficiently responsive tothe acute needs of families couldfind an outlet as gender basedviolence: GBV could also take theform of criminal acts.

Whatever form it took, GBV wasessentially a result of how genderpower relations (GPR) wereoperational in the communities andwithin families.

The DLAG, TF and CG understoodcases of domestic violence from thisdimension and helped address theissues by finding options foreconomic problems and improvingaccess to services such as schools,legal assistance and appropriatemedical care.


- 46 -

Although the project approach was sensitive todiscuss the issues of GPR within the prioritiesof the traditional value systems and was keen topromote it as a means of enriching family unityrather than pose undue threats to the family unit,the implementation of the project was an uphilltask.

Gender discourse was new to Polonnaruwa, anarea dotted with ancient ruins, which are aphysical reminder of the inherited value systemsthat defines the culture and life styles of thenative communities of the area. The traditionalvalue systems have clearly defined roles andresponsibilities for women and men and placemen at the helm of decision making hierarchywithin families and in the society.

While acceptance and submission to the malehierarchy is expected of women, socialexpectations of the men as being capable ofmeeting their leadership role and fulfilling theirfamilies’ economic and social needs are alsoequally high.

Addressing gender power related violencerequired discussion and dialogue on thesesensitive traditional value systems andrecognition of the changing social roles of menand women.

In addition, the current socio-political dialogue of the morerecent times has found INGOsa convenient peg on whichblame for many social issuescould be hung.

Discussing a topic assensitive as gender powerrelated violence with ruralcommunities in an area suchas Polonnaruwa was achallenge that CARE SriLanka had to learn to dealwith caution and subtlety.

The sensitive and broaderperspective with which CAREapproached the issueenabled the local stateauthorities to align with theproject and become activelyinvolved in it through the CGand TF.It is in this backdrop that theCG requested CARE to workin the village of Nelum toimprove the quality of life ofthe community through the


In an areawhere thediscourse ongender isunfamiliar, whatyou do first indecreasing the

rate ofviolence againstwomen?

....................

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reduction of gender powerrelated violence.

Implementation of the projectat ground level was carried outby the DLAG: Two members ofthe DLAG were appointed asthe coordinators at communitylevel. It was with muchenthusiasm that the DLAGrepresentatives entered thevillage.

According to Jayani, DLAGrepresentative and its currentpresident, “We were totallyunprepared for the hostility andresistance shown by of someof the community members,mostly men.” Initially they put itdown to narrow malechauvinism.

Such male resistance togender discourse was notuncommon and the DLAG andCARE expected this togradually reduce as is theusual case. However as workprogressed and Jayani

together with a fewenthusiastic womenopinion leaders of thecommunity workedtowards forming aVLAG, they realisedthat the resistance wasnot solely on a genderbias, but that it had asocio-politicaldimension to it.

CARE was accused ofspreading ‘western views harmful to traditionalvalues systems of the country and therebyworking to fulfil western and neo-colonialagendas. An implied and sometimes openlymentioned accusation was also that CARE wasan organisation that worked to promoteterrorism in the country.Slinging such accusations and insinuations atINGOs is not an uncommon happening in thecurrent socio political dialogue and the projectimplementers chose to ignore it. However, inthe village of Nelum where a political groupkeen on gaining political mileage took anadamant stand against the project and labelledit as ‘an INGO initiated western agenda that


Think beforeyou turn tonext page.What are theshort comingsof the CAREorganization?

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aimed atdestroying thefamily unit of SriLankancommunities’.

Two years later,in retrospect,Jayani says “We made the first mistake. Whenwe first went to the village, we identified theproject as an initiative taken by CARE SriLanka. We should have used our own identity.”DLAG members are drawn from local NGOs inthe district and have been working withcommunities of other villages implementinglivelihood support and similar projects. Later,the DLAG and the VLAG of Nelum tried hard torectify the error by highlighting theirs and thecommunity’s control over the project but it wasnot easy to retrace the wrong move. It wasmore so difficult becauseidentifying the project as a concernof CARE was not the first mistake.

It was the second.

The first mistake CARE made wasto initiate work in the village ofNelum without adequate baseline

study, which would have highlighted the complexpower dimensions in the village, including thoseof politically aspiring groups. In its enthusiasm topromote the project approach the CG requestednot only for CARE to work in the village of Nelumbut also to develop it as a model village ofharmonious gender power relationships.

Part of the funding given to the CG was divertedfor this purpose. The strong support of the GAand the DS of Polonnaruwa, which are thehighest state decision makers of the district,seems to have influenced CARE to by-pass theessential step of carrying out a baseline studyand situational analysis of a village prior toinitiating a project.

CARE and the DLAG were not aware of thepolitical elements active in the village and thepower dynamics that they could influence. Inaddition, sufficient time does not seem to havebeen spent on awareness raising and giving the


“No matter what – we will continue with the project” is the determination arrived at byprovincial CARE action group without properly considering their basic mistakes. They identified the hostility of by a group of villagers only as a hindrance to their

work.

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community the time and space to familiarisethemselves with the theme. The project had notproactively created space for discussion anddebate on the issues of gender powerrelations: When the debate did happen, it camein the form of accusations and criticism.Oblivious to these initialmistakes CAREand the DLAGseems to havenoticed only thereaction of theresistant groupsin thecommunity,resulting inidentifying them as a hindrance to theprogress of the project. “We will somehowcarryout the project” was the determined spiritof the DLAG and CARE.

The determination is commendable but the lackof understanding of the complexity of issues,regrettable.Two years after the project started working inNelum, a VLAG has been formed, its members(all women) are aware of the resistance,hostility and the reticence with which their groupis regarded in the village. The VLAG seems tobe in open competition with the groups thatoppose their work in the village. The

construction of a community hall, initiated bythe VLAG to rally support and recognition forthe VLAG and its purported services, standshalf completed for the lack of funds: the VLAGhas not been successful in raising funds fromthe community to complete the hall.

A new year festival organised by the VLAG withthe support of CARE was conducted in April2008 to build bridges with the opposing groupand their supporters but has ended with a trailof criticisms, accusations and slander which is

oftendetacinummoc

throughwhispersor ininformalchatsandoccasionallyspokenoutright

in disputes among families or communitymembers. Early signs of communitydisharmony created/aggravated by the processof forming the VLAG to deal with gender basedviolence in Nelum are visible by 2008.


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When the VLAG members, Frieda, Ranga,Amali, Leela and others meet Jayani, theirguide and adviser at Frieda’s house for theregular VLAG meeting they often end up talkingabout the adverse comments a communitymember had made against one of them

individually or at theirgroup:

Sometimes it is a commentto discourage the VLAGwomen leaders fromgaining leadership inanother society of thevillage which traditionallyhas had a senior maleleadership.

“We have gained recognition in the village. Wecan stand up to them and challenge theirleadership;” Ranga says proudly. “We have totry and get leadership for women in the othervillage societies too. Then they cannot put uswomen down;”

The others nod their heads in agreement. Leelais puzzled. When she joined the group she hadno idea that this would take the form of a powertussle between the males and females of thevillage. She does not feel that there is a

competition for powerbetween the men and womenof the village. ThereforeRanga’s comment puzzlesher. ‘Are we in competitionwith the men? Can we dothis? The males are part ofour families? Is there a betterway to make women morepowerful?’ Leela silentlywonders. She dares notspeak out.

She fears an outburst byRanga or an admonishing byJayani who often reminds thegroup that women are asstrong as men and theyshould not allow anyimpediment stand in their wayof family harmony. Leela feelsthat what Jayani says andwhat Ranga and Friedastrongly support are oftenparadoxical:

They profess to enhance theharmony of the families andthe community by reducinggender power related


What is the/your reasonfor working

for theprevention of

violenceagainst

women? Is it to compete

with men or due to the

anger towards men?

‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’

‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’

‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’

‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’

‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’

‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’

‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’

‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’

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violence. Yet they say and do things that couldcreate disharmony in the families and increasedisputes in the village. Leela, however, doesnot question them. She does not feel she iscompetent to challenge their views.

She is only a member who joined the VLAGbecause she felt that they had a positive aimand yes, there were many gaps that amechanism that is sensitive to the myriad ofissues faced by wives, mothers, sisters andsingle mothers and women of the village couldhelp resolve.Leela looks at Amali, a member of the VLAGand a young mother who recently divorced fromher husband due to his misconduct.

Yes, the VLAG had stood by her and helpedher through the difficult times and gave herstrength not only to face life again. Amali is stillupset over the break up of her family and themany adverse comments she sometimes had tosuffer due to the conduct of her husband. But theVLAG members have helped her re-gainconfidence in herself that now she wants toresolutely work towards a better future for herchildren.

There are many women who silently bear thebeating and harsh words of the men of theirfamilies. Some women dare to speak outagainst the heavy use of alcohol or gambling.Added to these are other burdens of economicdifficulties, not finding the necessary support fortheir children’s education or not being able tofind appropriate jobs for their young sons anddaughters, the legal issues over land and manyother matters that trouble their minds.

They look to their husbands or fathers as headsof their households to resolve these issues:When the issues remain unresolved the meremention of it could trigger off a quarrel. Amalifeels that there should be a place for women andeven men to come together and discuss thesechallenges to their families. When Jayani and theofficials of CARE Sri Lanka came to the village,they spoke of other villages which hadsuccessfully set up village level groups thatsensitively and subtly looks into these family-based disputes and help resolve issues whichreduce disputes family quarrels and beatings.They said that secrecy would be maintainedabout who sought the assistance of the villagelevel support group.


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On listening to them Leela had hoped that thisservice could be acquired while ensuring thedignity of the women who needed assistance tokeep their family intact or muster courage to facethe challenges that they had to face in their familylife. Leela had several friends and relatives in thevillage who she wanted to help. At times she toowould need such assistance, Leela had thoughtwith relief.

Now, sitting as a member of the VLAG, Leelalistens to the strong comments of Ranga, Frieda,Amali and others and wonders where thatpromised sensitivity and dignity is. Themembers of the VLAG face many adversecomments that the other women in thecommunity do not want to identify themselveswith the group, leave alone bring their personalworries and issues of domestic violence to beresolved with the assistance of the VLAG.

Within the past two years theonly case they helped resolvewas that of Amali’s after whichshe joined the group to supportthe cause. True, several of theVLAG members have becomestrong leaders and havegained leadership in some ofthe other village societies aswell. They are able to speak in

front of a publicaudience and theyhave developed somecontacts with thepolice and otherservice providers.

Some leaders haveattended two or three

training programmes and areable to discuss the context ofgender power relationsdrawing from manyarguments….. Yet, are theyreally sensitive to theenvironment that they live in?Are they sensitive enough tothe fact that their openchallenge to the existing powergroups has created an


A person in this

associationworking for

the prevention ofthe violence

against womentells you that

muchresistance

exists due tothe ignorance.

What areyour

views on this?

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unnecessary competition with these groups?

Leela’s train of thoughts is disturbed. Ranga isasking for her views on how to overcome theopposition to the VLAG from the “the ignorantmen and women who do not see the value ofits service.” Leela is disturbed by the use of theword ‘ignorant’ to describe those who resist theVLAG’s work. “Perhaps we too have beenwrong. Aren’t we ignorant of …..” Leela beginshesitantly but is cut short by the enthusiasticprotests of others. ‘Haven’t we given themenough time to understand what we are doing?They just don’t want us to improve the positionof women. No. More than that, it is that politicalgroup. They have a wrong idea of the INGO andare just being silly about the whole issue….They said this that day… they said that….”Slanders made against the project and itsimplementers are repeated again and again.

Leela looks at Mayuri who has come to themeeting late. They share a silent nod ofunspoken agreement. Leela slowly stands upand excuses herself. She has to run home toprepare the lunch before her husband finishes

his brick making for theday and comes in for hislunch. She does not givethis as the reason forher early departure. Shesays that she has tofetch her youngest sonfrom the school. Yes,she will go to the schooland then she will hurryhome to prepare the lunch.If Leela or others sharing her views had a chanceto speak and if they were supported inarticulating what they wished to say, perhapsthey would have shared some recommendationssuch as these:

• Ask direct assistance of CARE to completethe community hall that VLAG has failedto complete. The half built community hallshould not continue to stand as areminder of the VLAG’s failure. If thecommunity hall is somehow constructed,other village societies too will start using itand this could be a starting point forVLAG to build bridges with the othersocieties of the village.


If Leela and thosewho think like her

had an opportunity tospeak, what would

they say?

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o Retrace a few stepsin the discussion aboutgender power relatedviolence and allow themen and women of thecommunity to expresstheir views on how theyfeel about this issue andhow they wish to be

helped. The men and women or even theolder children could discuss andunderstand for themselves the positiveaspects of their family and communityrelationships and what needsimprovement. If there is openly expressedrecognition for the family unit and thepositive relationships that already exist,there would be greater willingness todiscuss the gaps and issues that need tobe resolved.

o Help everyone understand that this is asystem that the community can implementwith the assistance of the relevant localauthorities and that CARE is only helpingthem to set up the process. Perhapssome men and women from other villageswhere the project has been successful inhelping reduce gender power related

violence throughsensitiveintervention couldcome and talk withthe men and womenof Nelum. However,this should happenonly after someinitial dialogue hasbeen started withthose who are currently openly opposingthe project.

o Above all, it is essential to talk with theopposing groups and actually find out thereasons for their resistance. They mayhave reasons that are not related to theproject. Those who oppose may havepersonal orpolitical agendasbut it would begood to find out.It will be difficultto retrace thesteps, swallowone’s pride andinitiate suchdiscussion, but it could pave way for ahealthy dialogue. If there is no open

The half built community hall epitomizes the failure of the association

We need to retreat a few steps in this discourse and firstunderstand how the villagers think

We need to start a discourse withanother village on thistopic and learn from

them


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competition with the existing and politicalpower groups of the village the neutralmajority would be more willing to interactwith the VLAG.

o If CARE had better understanding of themany issues of the village it would helpthem to understandwhy some peoplein the opposinggroups have powerover many familiesin the village: whywomen whoobviously needassistance of theVLAG are reluctantto develop contactswith them.Currently CARE and the projectimplementer as well as the VLAG are notfully aware of the power dynamics of thevillage.

o There must be a reason as to why thecommunity of Nelum has a higher rate ofviolence than most other villages ofPolonnaruwa. What are the social andeconomic and other location specificreasons that have contributed to this? Is it

It is veryimportant to starta discussion with the opposinggroup

We need to incorporate the ideas of the ones who have opposing views.

What can we dowithout looking intothe increase of violence in the village?

not essentialto know this ifthe projectaims toreduce thegender powerrelatedviolence inthecommunity?CARE, the DLAG and the VLAG all needto understand and be sensitive to theparticular issues that trigger offaggressive behaviours and violence ofsome/many community membersbecause gendered or any other form ofpower dynamics would not act as asingular or an independent force: It wouldinteract and often be interdependent onother forms ofpower bases.

o The VLAG isaware that theGA and theDS ofPolonnaruwaare strongsupporters ofthis projectand that they


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Do you think that the silent, docile woman in the village does not have

this kind of ideas? Then you must again think of the way you think.

are at the helm of the mechanism that isestablished to help reduce gender powerrelated violence in the village. However,the VLAG does not have a direct link withthis mechanism and do not feel thepresence of this linkage in their work atcommunity level. If there is such a high-powered link, should not this be visible insome form to thecommunity so that theybegin to recognise thisas a local and statesupported system ratherthan a foreign fundedproject?

If CARE feels that Leela orother women like her in thevillage cannot come up withsuch suggestions, please thinkagain. The less vocal and themore silent members of acommunity will have valuable perceptions thatthey would not have the confidence to share withproject staff. How such views are given voice isnecessary a challenge to which a project mustsensitively respond by building long term andtrusting relationships with all groups in acommunity.

Understanding the slander and silence (Footnotes)

Please note that real names have not been used. Based on the observation of the VLAG of the village of Nelum during a field visit, a possible scene of a meeting is created to bring out the varying dynamics of the group and the project

Documents

Case studies based on reflections from CARE International ... · emphasis placed on agriculture, the management of natural resources, small economic activity development, and relief