Student A The engineer and the manager
Student B The engineers and lawyers
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Photocopiable 177
I n Company Upper in te rmed ia te Resource mate r ia ls
In Company Upper intermediate Teachers Book Macmillan Publishers
Limited 2004
14b Business humour Nicholas Sheard
How much humour is there in your workplace? In which of the
following places or situations are you most likely to hear or tell
jokes to colleagues/business contacts?
a lift a business lunch a formal meeting a negotiation a
presentation
a coffee break an informal in-company meeting the work canteen a
pub/bar after work at your desk in the office
A man in a hot-air balloon realised he was lost. He reduced
altitude and noticed a woman below. Hedescended a bit more and
shouted, Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would
meet him anhour ago but I dont know where I am.
The woman below replied, You are in a hot-air balloon
approximately 30 feet above the ground. You arebetween 40 and 41
degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west
longitude.
You must be an engineer, said the balloonist. I am, replied the
woman, how did you know? Well, answeredthe balloonist, everything
you told me is technically correct, but I still have no idea how to
interpret yourinformation, and the fact is, I am still lost.
Frankly, you havent been much help so far.
The woman replied, You must be in management. I am, replied the
balloonist, but how did you know? Well,said the woman, you dont
know where you are or where you are going. You have risen to where
you are dueto a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise which
you cant keep, and you expect people below you tosolve your
problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were
in before we met, but now,somehow, its my fault.
Three lawyers and three engineers were going to a conference by
train. At the station, the three lawyerseach bought tickets and
watched as the three engineers bought only one. How are three
people going totravel on only one ticket? asked one of the three
lawyers. Watch and youll see, answered one of theengineers.
They all got on the train. The lawyers took their seats but all
three engineers crammed into the toilet andclosed the door behind
them. Shortly after the train departed, the inspector came round
checking tickets.He knocked on the toilet door and said, Ticket,
please. The door opened slightly and an arm appeared witha ticket
in its hand. The conductor checked it and moved on.
The lawyers saw this and agreed it was a clever idea. So, after
the conference, the lawyers decided to copythe engineers and save
some money on their tickets. When they got to the station, they
bought just oneticket for the return trip. To their surprise, the
engineers didnt buy a ticket at all. How are you going totravel
without a ticket? asked one confused lawyer. Watch and youll see,
said one of the engineers.
When they got on the train, the three lawyers crammed into a
toilet and the three engineers crammed intoanother one nearby. The
train departed. A few moments later, one of the engineers left his
toilet andwalked over to the toilet where the lawyers were hiding.
He knocked on the door and said, Ticket, please.
