Matt GoldsteinProf. JamesActors Craft2 November 2014Burning Shame MissionThe hardest part of this mission was actually coming up with my most shameful secret. I keep few secrets, and the ones that I do keep are kept for pretty logical reasons there arent really any that I am super ashamed of! Once I got past the language of secret though, I recognized that there are definitely things I am ashamed, Im just not very secretive about them.For instance, I am ashamed of this: I am super bad at contacting people I love over long distance. Im bad at remembering to call my family, responding to texts from my friends, and following through with important emails. Last semester, one of my best friends had to take a semester off from school in order to undergo chemotherapy, and while she was away, I barely talked to her. Not because I didnt want to or because I was scared to see her in a certain state I just didnt often remember to. Im terrible like that.Burning this sentiment was so satisfying. Reading it aloud made me feel kind of shitty, because putting it out in the honest air in a way admits to the fact that its a fact worthy of shame. But then I got to burn it, and watching it burn kind of made me feel absolved of it. Not that it didnt happen, but that I could move on and be better in the future and not have to feel as ashamed of how bad I have been in the past at talking to people.I think this exercise was valuable because it reminded me that there can be things that you dont think are weighing you down in everyday life, but once you relieve yourself of them you notice how much better you feel. Acting is best approached from a neutral starting point so that one can absorb as much of a character as possible; there are many things that secretly put pressure, shame, or stress on us without us noticing, and if we can brush away and let go of these things, then we can start from a more neutral and natural place.