I TOLD HIM "I MISS YOU" BUT MY GODI SHOULD'VE

SAVED MY BREATH

720-507-4088720-507-4088720-507-4088720-507-4088720-507-4088720-507-4088720-507-4088720-507-4088

BURN PHONE ZINEVOLUME 1 ISSUE 1 FALL 2015

BURN PHONE IS A ZINE FILLED WITH CONTENT SUBMITTED BY TEXT. SEND US YOUR WORK AND IT COULD BE IN THE NEXT ISSUE. TUMBLR: theburnphone

BURN PHONE STAFF:

EMILIE LUCKETTUFOKIDDDO.TUMBLR.COM@YUNGEMILIE

CURTIS TUCKERCCCCCURTIS.COM@CCCCCURTIS

CONTRIBUTORS:

9935, 3294, 2364, 1138, 2604, 6890, 2246, 7978, 0805, 5081, 9124, 6250, 9670, 7482, @kaylabashe, Petrose Tesfai, AL, Lasafro

PUBLISHED BY FAR OUT ZINESDENVER, COLORADO USA2015 All RIGHTS RESERVED

Photo Sep 03, 4 04 56 PM

Drizzle

You told me not to spill my feelingsAs I set my keys down on the table,Dripping wet from the rain

Bass

Your eyes flutterAnd my heart beats intime with the music while I thought,Everything is right

Smile

I like to see you smile, even when you don't want me to You never see me smileI try hard not to

I've always been scared to explore myself and express myself.I'm not going to be afraid anymore.

HOW DO YOU STILL NOT FUCKING GET IT?

A brief wind in my hairReminded me of a scratch,A kiss. Long lost artifactsAs though my lovers breathHad warmed after time awaySaying, this time, stay.

I am so tired but I am so afraid to sleepbecause what goes up must come down

and so I will wake and that is what terrifies me.

there will be times where I am snappy

but really I just want to be happy

safe back home I am calm

but elsewhere my nerves tick like a bomb

leave my room I'm in a panic

the worry controlls me it's utterly manic

the worst part of my day is waking

for I will always end up shaking

the anxiety builds up ina mass

hurry up, I need to make it to class

I’m so sorryhi, it’s me again, I just got back from school.

It was alright day, not the same since you’re not there

everyone misses you, even the boys in your maths class that you hated. Even some of the teachers do.

The old man down your street asked where you’ve been. i just waved and smiled.

I hate when people sit in your seat in english, it’s not their seat it’s yours.

English is so quite now, we’re learning poetry, your favourite.

Teacher’s keep asking if I’m okay, I nod and say ‘I’m getting there’, I will never be okay.

I miss your advice you would give, you were so wise for your age

I wish I was the one who found you.

I’m sorry i wasn’t there for you,

I’m sorry that you didn’t trust me to talk about this

I’m sorry didn’t see through those smiles

I’m sorry you didn’t think you were worth it

I’m sorry… you didn’t feel loved.

I don’t know why I’m leaving you this message, I’m just sorry, sorry

sorry….

She called me strong, she said that I was setting the bar high. I would I probably smiled back at her if I understood what she said through the drugged haze. I don't want to do this alone and he doesn't want to do it at all, but I guess he wins. He is a dead woman's husband after all, I'm just the daughter.