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What is Resiliency?• A mix of inner strengths • on-target development• success in social relationships• empathy• ability to self-regulate• ability to express themselves
• and positive external influences • competent caregivers • friendships • support networks • effective schooling
Why is resiliency important?• Adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) • traumatic childhood events
• abuse and neglect• parental divorce • domestic violence• parental mental illness
• The more resilient a child is, the better chance they have at overcoming these ACEs and can decrease the odds of later developing serious adult health issues like cancer, liver disease and heart disease as well as make them less prone to suicide, substance abuse, or poor work performance.
• We must try to protect children from negative early experiences, and if we cannot, we need to make sure that they develop resiliency
~Taken from “What are ACEs: Adverse Childhood Experiences” SCAN fact sheet
• Six key protective factors• Nurturing and Attachment• Knowledge of Parenting and Child Development• Parental Resilience• Social Connections• Concrete Supports for Parents• Social and Emotional Competence of Children
• When you focus on these 6 protective factors • strengthen a child’s ability to overcome trauma• develop their executive functioning (set of mental processes
that helps connect past experience with present action)• build their emotional IQ• Create the likelihood for academic & workplace success as
well as for healthy adult relationships
~ Taken from Making Meaningful Connections, 2014 Prevention Resource Guide
How to build a child’s resiliency1. TALK WITH THE CHILD. Be honest. Have age-appropriate and topic-appropriate discussions about their lives.
2. MAKE THEM FEEL SAFE. Create an emotionally safe place where feelings are acknowledged & discussed.
3. LIMIT SCREEN TIME. Prevent extended exposure to the news including TV, newspapers and online.
4. ACKNOWLEDGE STRESS. Notice the relationship between stress and moods. Talk through it and give them skills for managing stress.
5. ESTABLISH ROUTINES. Set schedules when you are with them; Begin your time with “What was the best thing about the time we were together last?” Then end with your own “see you later” routine.
• Taking the time to connect with children and invest in them at a young age will greatly increase their ability to bounce back when they are faced with adversity throughout their life.
How to build a child’s resiliency6. CREATE AN EMERGENCY PLAN. Make sure it is simple, clear and is routinely reviewed and practiced.
7. TEACH CHILDREN HOW TO EXPRESS THEIR FEARS. Show them how to use creative activities and open discussions where they feel safe.
8. ENLIST THEIR HELP. Get them involved around the community and talk through things they can do at home as well.
9. BE POSITIVE. Teach children how to keep a positive perspective and continually look to what the future can hold.
10. TAKE CARE OF YOUR OWN SELF. Your children look to you. Model self-care and show your own emotions and how you handle them in a healthy way.
• Taking the time to connect with children and invest in them at a young age will greatly increase their ability to bounce back when they are faced with adversity throughout their life.
Connecting with Kids• As a Mentor• Talk one-on-one and connect with them– no distractions, no
devices• Eat a meal together• Celebrate the child in small ways – notice their hardwork• Listen to their thoughts, fears and joys and help them find words
to express those feelings• Read together
• Don’t forget about yourself - you need connections, too. Connect with other mentors, reach out to the other adults in the child’s life to strengthen those critical connections for them.
• Professionals• Stay connected with children in your circles• Help parents see their own strengths and build trust• Encourage families to build more connections and widen their
network of support• Address compassion fatigue and burnout before it is too late
• Neighbors & Community Members• Smile and praise a child or parent you come in contact with –
acknowledge that parenting is a tough but rewarding job.• Offer to listen to a parent or spend time with a child• Connect with kids by volunteering• Create opportunities in your community for families to build new
connections in safe, supportive environments, e.g. an ice cream social, block party, neighborhood watch.
What can you do to build resiliency in youth?
• 1. DEFINE it
• After you introduce the idea of resiliency– give the child situations (e.g. “when I get into a fight with a friend”, “I get a bad
grade”) and a bouncy ball. They should bounce the ball high if the situation affects them a lot and it takes a while to bounce
back from it or low if it doesn’t affect them much, if at all.
• Provide a few pictures (or have the child look for ones on their own) that they think best relates to the word resiliency. Have them explain their answers.
What can you do to build resiliency in youth?
• 2. TALK ABOUT it• Use a Problem Pass• Keep a feelings journal for a week and share it with someone you trust
Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday
What was happening?
What were you feeling?
Was it negative or positive?
How did you react?
Was there a physical reaction?
What will you do next time?
What can you do to build resiliency in youth?• 3. ACT on it• Books that Build Resiliency/Lessons
• Choose one of the 6 titles and have a book club with other mentors and their kids. Use the questions to guide a discussion particularly on resilience.
• Activities with Intention• Is there a specific issue your kid is working on or needs help with? Investigate fun
ways to strengthen their ability to be resilient.
• Teachable Moments• An unplanned event during the day that adults can use as a learning opportunity
for kids. When a child displays an action or behavior that can be used as a learning tool, adults should capitalize on the moment, and provide the opportunity to extend or expand the child's learning.
• Model • Adults teach children all the time. Sometimes they do not know they are doing it. It is done whenever the children are watching. Children learn from your words and actions. They learn what ways of behaving are good and what ways are not good by watching parents.
Use the Power of Stories to Build Resiliency
• Children connect with books and in turn connect with themselves.
• Purposefully choose stories that build resiliency.• problem solving messages• appealing• developmentally appropriate• readily available• have a relatable story plot and characters• fun and memorable• engaging and imaginative• stories in which everyone (even the adult) can learn something
Titles for Young Adults• Stargirl by Jerry Spinelli
• Okay for Now by Gary D. Schmidt
• Wonder by R. J. Palacio
• The Fault in Our Stars by John Green
• The Giver by Lois Lowry
• Matilda by Ronald Dahl
Use Activities with Intention to Build Resiliency
Effective communication/ understanding of emotions• Improv Games
• Improvisation or “Improv” is a form of acting that requires players to make the scene up as they go. There are no scripts and no directions. The kids have to work together to create a scene that makes sense. Practicing Improv is a great opportunity for kids to engage in active listening and cooperation with their peers. It also forces kids to problem solve and to think on their feet. Furthermore, there is a multitude of lessons that can be taught depending on which Improv game you play.
• Bright Beginnings, Happy Endings:• These open-ended questions require more than one word answers and provide a starting point for
good conversations. Feel free to make up your own questions to add to the lists, but remember to use questions that will allow for more than one-worded answers.
Listening Games• Swab the deck!
• Gather the group in a large open space and announce that everyone is now a crew member on your ship! You are the captain and everyone has to listen to your commands.
Use Activities with Intention to Build Resiliency
Cultivating kids unique talents and abilities• I’m Special Body Tracings
• Cut out large pieces of paper, big enough for a child to trace their entire body. Butcher paper is best, but you can also use the backside of wrapping paper!
• Have the children lay down on their piece of paper and trace their body outline. You can trace them or have them trace each other if they are able to. Then encourage the children to color and decorate them. While they are decorating encourage them to write and draw things that they like about themselves. It’s a great opportunity to discuss with them what their special abilities/ talents are. They may need some help realizing all the great things about themselves. The children can keep these drawings as a reminder of how awesome they are.
Personal Empowerment Skills• Girl Power Party
• This activity is specifically aimed at young girls. Little girls love princesses, pink and all things related. This is not a bad thing, however, they also need to be reminded that they are strong and smart as well!
• I Can Take Care of Me• Routines can seem overwhelming when they involve a number of steps: when an adult simply says
“Please go clean up” a child may not know where to begin or how to complete the task. By breaking down tasks into manageable steps, a child can feel successful with each completed portion of the task.
