Building Rapport

Ron FinklesteinBusiness Growth Experience

Sales Rainmaker Program 330-990-788

ron@businessgrowthexperience.comCopyright © 2012 RPF GROUP INC and The Business Growth Experience

Building Rapport

Language Pacing

Matching Mirroring

Indications of RapportFavored Representational Systems

Using What You Learned

Language

• Verbal 7%• Tonality (how you sound) 38%• Physiology (How you look) 55%

Verbal (7%)

• Predicates – to proclaim; declare; affirm; assert.– to affirm or assert (something) – to connote; imply

• Key Words – a word that serves as a key, as to the meaning of

another word, a sentence, passage, or the like• Common Experiences (stories)• Content Chunks (communication style)

Tonality (38%)

• Tone (pitch) – a particular quality, way of sounding, modulation, or

intonation of the voice as expressive of some meaning, feeling, spirit, etc.

• Tempo (Speed) • Timbre (quality) – the characteristic quality of a sound, independent of

pitch and loudness, from which its source or manner of production can be inferred.

• Volume (loudness)

Physiology

• Posture• Gestures• Facial Expressions• Blinking • Breathing

Pacing

• How fast the move• How fast they talk

Matching

• Their Actions (sit, hold pencil, hold cup, etc)• The way they dress (tie, causal, business

casual)

Mirroring

• Same a matching – Except …

Indications of Rapport

• Kinesthetic - Internal Feeling (feeling of warmth, usually along the midline of the torso (aka butterflies)

• Visual - Color Shift (Might be a change in color in both people usually from the neck up.)

• Auditory – Word they use: “Do I know you?”, “Have we met before?”, “I feel like we have know each other for years!”

• Leading – Rapport is state of responsiveness (both people responding to each other)

Exercise

Favored Representational Systems

• Visual (see images) • Auditory (hear discussions) • Kinesthetic (feeling things in the body) • Auditory Digital (combines all three Styles)

Favored Representational Systems

• Visual (see images) – Sit & Stand with Head & Body Erect– Breath from top of the lungs– Move their eye up– Well organized – Well groomed – Memorize by seeing picture – Noise does not both them – Have trouble remembering verbal instruction – Interested in how your product or service look to them– Appearance is very important to them

Favored Representational Systems

• Auditory (hear discussions) – Move eye side to side – Breath from the middle of the chest – Talk to themselves (some will even move their lips)– Easily distracted by noise – Learn by listening – Like music and talking on the phone – Repeat conversation back to you easily – Memorize by steps– Like to be told how they are doing – Respond to tone of voice or set of words – Interested in what you “have to say.”

Favored Representational Systems

• Kinesthetic (feeling things in the body)– Breath from bottom of their lungs– Move & talk very slow – Like physical rewards and touching – Stand closer to people than visual people– Memorize by doing (walking though) – It needs to feel right

Favored Representational Systems

• Auditory Digital (combines all three Styles)– Spend a fair amount of time talking to themselves – Does product or service make sense

Predicate Word – Visual

• See • Look • View • Appear• Show• Dawn• Envision • Clear • Foggy • Focused

Predicate Word – Auditory

• Hear • Listen • Sounds • Make music• I am all ears • Be heard• Deaf

Predicate Word – Kinesthetic

• Feel • Touch • Grasp• Get hold of• Sit through • Catch on • Tap into • Hard • Concrete • Get a handle

Predicate Word – Auditory Digital

• Sense• Experience • Understand • Think • Learn • Motivate • Consider • Change • Perceive • Know • Insensitive

How Do You Build Rapport

• Use the words they use• Match and mirror (Tonality, Speed, Pitch)• Test for rapport (Leading)