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Building and Maintaining
Effective Relationships
1
Jamie Marsh
Director of Career ServicesWisconsin School of Business
Goals of Today’s Discussion
• Define the key attributes of effective relationships
• Learn about a research-based Emotional Intelligence (EI) framework for working with others
• Apply the framework to your personal and professional life
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Who I Am
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Relationships: Bridges to Success
• Platform to showcase talent and sell product to the world
• Training and development opportunities
• Guidance and wisdom of roads already traveled
• Opportunities that are impossible to obtain or achieve on your own
• Get things done: productivity and meaningfulness
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What are attributes of effective professional
relationships?
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Key Attributes of an Effective Relationship
• Self-awareness (strengths and limitations)
• Acceptance
• Trust/Honesty
• Respect
• Openness/Vulnerability
• Mutual Benefit
• Empathy
• Kindness
• Commitment
• Values Alignment
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Relationships in Action
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• Procter & Gamble • English candle maker and Irish soap
maker• Father-in-law encouraged joint
business following competition
• Why they were successful (motivation/shared vision)• Placed company’s welfare above their
own by selling personal assets to build a factory and focused on quality and cost savings
• Appreciated one another’s strengths and understood their own weaknesses
Relationships in Action
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• Google • Stanford PhD program students
• Relationship got off to a rocky start during a doctoral student tour of campus led by Larry Page
• Why they were successful (relatability/trust/respect)• Shared passion for technology
• Trust built to enable tough conversations
• Visionary alignment
What are your examples?
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What are the key factors that impede
relationships?
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Key Factors that Impede Relationships
• Lack of mutual benefit
• Deceit, mistrust or disloyalty
• Disrespect
• Miscommunication or silence
• Lack of understanding or shared values
• Competition or destructive criticism
• Lack of motivation
• Unclear value proposition or lack of perceived value
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Challenged Relationships
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• Facebook• Concerns between Eduardo Saverin
and Mark Zuckerberg arose
• Why they were unsuccessful (motivation/alignment/trust)• Lack of shared vision and alignment of
where to take the company
• Perceived lack of motivation by Saverin
• Zuckerberg’s actions developed mistrustand ultimately led to legal action
What are your examples?
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Managing Difficult Relationships
• Don’t make assumptions or biased judgments
• Get to know the person• Background, interests, past
successes• Engage in a genuine
conversation 1:1
• Be open and open-minded
• Find commonalities
• Share your needs and expectations when ready
• Utilize HR resources when needed
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Emotional Intelligence
• Emotional intelligence (EI) or emotional quotient (EQ), is the capacity of individuals to:• recognize their own and other
people's emotions
• discriminate between different feelings and label them appropriately
• use emotional information to guide thinking and behavior.
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Emotional Intelligence
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Emotional Intelligence
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Self-Awareness: Knowing one’s emotions, strengths, weaknesses, goals, values and their impact on others
• Hallmarks: • Knowing and accepting yourself as you are
• Self-confidence
• Realistic self–assessment
• Seeing yourself as others see you (feedback)
Articulating Your Values
Autonomy Dependability Growth Loyalty Risk Taking
Beauty Diversity Happiness Open-Minded Security
Challenge Effectiveness Health Passion Service
Communication Empathy Honesty Patience Simplicity
Competence Engagement Hope Power Spirituality
Competition Empowerment Humor Productivity Strength
Courage Equality Independence Quality Success/Wealth
Creativity Family Innovation Recognition Teamwork
Curiosity Freedom Intelligence Respect Trust
Decisiveness Friendship Love/Affection Responsibility Wisdom
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Emotional Intelligence
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Self-Regulation: Controlling or redirecting disruptive emotions and impulses
• Hallmarks: • Trustworthiness
• Integrity
• Comfort with ambiguity and change
• Thoughtfulness and reflection
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Emotional Intelligence
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Motivation: Being driven to succeed for the sake of achievement (intrinsic motivation)
• Hallmarks: • Passion for the work itself and for new challenges
• Continuous improvement
• Optimism in the face of failure
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Emotional Intelligence
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Empathy: Considering others’ feelings, especially when making decisions
• Empathy vs. sympathy
• Hallmarks: • Effectively managing crisis
• Ability to develop others
• Sensitivity to cross-cultural differences
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Emotional Intelligence
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Social Skill: Managing relationships to move people in desired directions
• Hallmarks: • Effectiveness in finding common ground
• Regulated influence
• Support system
• Expertise in building and leading teams
Key Attributes of an Effective Relationship• Self-awareness (strengths and limitations)
• Acceptance
• Trust/Honesty
• Respect
• Openness/Vulnerability
• Mutual Benefit
• Empathy
• Kindness
• Commitment
• Values Alignment
• Others?
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Emotional Intelligence Tools
• How Good are your People Skills?• https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newTMM_36.htm
• Quiz: Test your Emotional Intelligence• https://hbr.org/2015/06/quiz-yourself-do-you-lead-
with-emotional-intelligence
• Strengths Finder
• Myers-Briggs Type Indicator
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Putting EI Into Action
• Awareness of what you contribute and what you need - mindfulness
• Communication• Establishing expectations and goals• Clarifying value propositions• Resolving conflicts through meaningful dialogue
• Relationships need to be nurtured
• Regular assessment of mutual benefits
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Action Steps
• What key take-aways will you put into practice to help you build and maintain meaningful relationships moving forward?
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Thank You!
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