Sheila Dixon: She's Back!

April 2016 Edition

Former Baltimore City Mayor Sheila Dixon, who was forced to resign in 2010 after a conviction on one count of misdemeanor fraudulent misappropriation while in office, will be seeking re-election this month.

In the 2007 General Mayoral Elections, Sheila Dixon was a clear favorite. The former mayor won with an impressive 87.8% of the vote due largely to her focus on increasing community police and criminal apprehension instead of a ?zero tolerance? policy. During her tenure as mayor from 2007 to

2010, she created the Cleaner Greener Baltimore Initiative which worked to redevelop neighborhoods, strengthen youth programs, expand affordable housing, and end homelessness. While Dixon was mayor, Baltimore City experienced its lowest number of homicides in 30 years. However, fast forward eight years, and many voters find themselves unable to trust the former disgraced mayor.

As my final bell of high school classes rang, my stomach twisted into knots, as if someone was grasping it and wrapping it around their hands like it was a tug-of-war rope. My head split, emotions swimming around me. I walked to my locker, realized I had already cleaned it out, and trudged back upstairs and out the door to my car for some time alone. This was not how last year?s seniors told me it would go, I thought. They said the last day of classes was euphoric, exciting, and uplifting as we would look towards our future. It wasn?t. That day was a reminder of something I could never come back to, something I would never know again: a high school class in the one place I had known my entire life. I have changed homes, camps, friends, and many other things. But one thing that has never changed is where I went to school. I can recall the hundreds, if not thousands, of times that I wished it was all done; that I could go off to college and not come back for a few months or even a few years. But those feelings have dissipated. Instead, it has been replaced with a sentiment of reflection and joy.

Our time at Beth Tfiloh, as I am sure both many fellow BT lifers and my other classmates would agree, has been a whirlwind. And that does not even do it justice. From nap times (which I miss terribly), to recesses and gym, followed by innumerable honors and AP courses, as well as college applications with their rejections, deferrals, and acceptances, the class of 2016 and I have been through it all. In that time, Beth Tfiloh has given each of us a unique bond and platform. We have endured countless hours of Jewish and Israeli education and learned from professionals without equal. This

occurred all while amassing an extremely solid background in secular studies. I have collected something more throughout my 16 years at this institution that I could achieve not anywhere else. For that, I am proud.

Wherever we go next year, whether it be on a gap year, straight into college, or even the military, Beth Tfiloh will send us packages to remind us of where we came from. Many of us have committed to visiting on breaks, joining Chabads and Hillels, or even doing some kind of daily ritual. Even though we

are being thrown into the fire, we are prepared. We won?t let the rest of the world change us because we know where we come from and we are proud of it.

I was carried into my first mommy-and-me class at the Beth Tfiloh kicking, screaming, and crying like the baby I was. I can almost guarantee that when I walk out of the sanctuary after graduation, I will be crying the same way. But that is not the end of your Beth Tfiloh story. Hopefully it won?t be the end of mine.

Cheers,

Tyler M. and the BT Class of 2016

Tyler M. '16

Senior Farewell

Alyssa M. '17

Photo courtesy of DixonforMayor

Continued on page 3

While Dixon was mayor, Baltimore City experienced its lowest number of homicides in 30 years... eight years later, many voters find themselves unable to trust the former disgraced mayor.

I have collected something...throughout my 16 years at this institution that I could achieve not anywhere else.

Learning to EatKara E. '16?The children in Africa are starving!? ?A clean

plate is a happy plate.? ?Finish your broccoli and you can have dessert!? How many of you remember hearing your parents say this during dinner? What entices you more, a piece of chocolate or a carrot stick? Whatever your answer may be, thank your parents! Society and parents? influence on children?s diets create long-lasting habits that continue throughout adulthood.

According to Bee Wilson, author of First Bite: How We Learn to Eat, the human brain has evolved to crave sweet tastes because ?in the wild, [humans] would have needed a way to distinguish wholesome sweet fruits form biter toxins.? However today, our innate survival skills, mismatched with the reality of the twenty-first century have, ?in some ways, biologically prepared [humans] for a world that no longer exists,? says David Myers, author of Myers' Psychology for AP.

Although humans innately crave sweets, their preferences for sweet foods ?can be modified by pre[natal] and postnatal experiences,? states Jamie Hale, author of The Development of Food Preferences. The food a mother eats during pregnancy strongly influences a fetus?s olfactory system, developing a ?long-lasting dietary preference very early in life.? Therefore, mothers are encouraged to eat a diverse, healthy diet to help broaden their babies? pallets.

At ages four to seven months, babies are extraordinarily receptive to flavor. Several studies have shown that when mothers introduce new foods and flavors to infants at this age, babies appear ?open minded? and it ?takes fewer exposures to persuade them to like the new flavor,? and the effect

?[is] long lasting,? says Wilson. In Germany, when researchers exposed seven-month-old babies to a vegetable puree that they particularly disliked, it only required seven attempts to persuade these infants to enjoy this new food as much as their once- preferred carrot puree. However, because ?childhood habits often stick with people for the rest of their

lives,? children who learn to eat high-calorie, processed foods and drink sugary beverages develop a fondness for these products, causing them to continue habitually craving them as adults.

From ages two to six, children develop a neophobia towards unfamiliar foods, or a fear of trying new foods. Although this safety mechanism evolved to protect humans from bitter toxins in the wild, it now causes children to reject unsweetened, healthy food. However, if parents interpret this temporary wariness as something permanent, they will contribute to their children?s learned behavior of avoiding healthy food. Therefore, parents should

continue trying to encourage their children to enjoy these healthy foods. As well, children should watch their parents not only survive off of, but also enjoy eating, these foods.

In a country where food is stocked on our supermarket shelves in surplus, why do parents feel the need to force their kids to finish what's on their plate? While our ancestors needed their children to finish their meal when food was scarce, today a child can open up the pantry, fridge, or freezer and eat until their stomach feels stuffed. So why do parents use dessert to bribe their kids to finish their spinach? This does the exact opposite of their intended goal. Not only does it create the idea that dessert is a reward, but it also causes children to develop a preference for sweets instead of nutritional foods by making dessert more appealing. Although kids know they should enjoy healthy food, rewarding children with sweets for positive behavior sends a mixed message and also awards them with a feeling of merit.

But we can make a change. How we eat is a learned behavior. Don't continue to eat when you feel full and try only eating one dessert a day instead of snacking on chocolates, chips, and cookies throughout the day. A clean plate is NOT a happy plate. Dessert should not be seen as a reward and should not be exciting. By adopting ideas similar to these, you can help make a difference for yourself and future generations. Eating healthy should not be seen as a diet, but as a lifestyle.

As one of the most popular toys in America, the Barbie doll has been influencing the mindsets of young girls since its advent in 1959.

For decades, the classic, tall and slender doll, has manipulated how women should look. According to research from the scientific journal Developmental Psychology, ?early exposure to dolls like Barbie may damage a girl's body image" and potentially lead to an increased risk of eating disorders. Thus, many girls wish to attain Barbie?s unreasonable body shape, which equates to a 6 foot, 101 pound, 29 inch-waisted woman. If Barbie were an actual woman with these proportions, she would be unable to hold her internal organs and produce hormones due to her extremely small waist and lack of body fat.

In response to these concerns, Mattel, manufacturer of Barbie, finally changed the doll's iconic image this past January. Amidst growing movements encouraging women to "love their

bodies" and "embrace their curves," Mattel altered Barbie?s body shape. By adding a tall, curvy, and petite doll, Mattel took a huge leap forward in changing society?s perception of ideal beauty. Supporters of ?Barbie?s evolution? hope that the

doll?s new body shapes will ?help improve young girls' self-image and make full-figured women more accepted in society," says Julie Wosk, State University of New York, Maritime College professor and author in a recent Huffington Post article. When asked what she thought of the new Barbie, Beth Tfiloh Lower School guidance counselor Mrs. Elana Weissman shared

that "the more exposure that kids--both boys and girls--have to diversity at a young age, the better. Having different shaped Barbies is a wonderful step in normalizing that people come in all shapes and sizes. Children learn so much through their play, and

providing them with a broader understanding of body image will most definitely be a benefit to these new dolls."

Body positive activist, blogger, and BT alumna Ally Spector ?13 also added that she "thinks it?s great that Barbie is evolving but [believes that] the media is still extremely lacking in its attempts to promote body positivity." Although TV, magazines, and social media still endorse unrealistic perceptions of beauty, Barbie?s revolutionary new body types are slowly changing these standards while encouraging women and young girls everywhere to love their bodies.

With Barbie, You Can Be Anything!

-Mattel

Our innate survival skills, mismatched with the reality of the twenty-first century have, ?in some ways biologically prepared [ humans] for a wor ld that no longer exists."

The Dramatic Impact of Barbie's Evolut ion

Courtesy of Mattel

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Alyse M. '17

Investigating the Rosewood Center

In an election with so many non-establishment candidates, one needn?t look far to find the most unique one. His name is Vermin Supreme. Supreme, whose real name we do not know, is a political satirist who has run for president in every election since 1992.

This year, according to CBS News, he placed fourth on the Democratic ticket in New Hampshire, receiving more votes than Republican candidate Jim

Gilmore. To put that in perspective, just look at Supreme?s platform, which has four main planks: mandatory tooth-brushing laws, time travel research,

Vermin Supreme for President

Once home to social pariahs deemed unfit for daily societal life, the Rosewood Center lives in infamy. As a result of scandalous behavior, the facility stopped housing patients in the late 80s but remained open as a treatment center until 2009. However, the secrets of what happened in those years in between give Rosewood its daunting reputation.

In 1937, Leo Kanner, a physician for the child psychiatry unit at Johns Hopkins University, alleged that affluent residents of Catonsville and Forest Park ?adopted,? or more fittingly, kidnapped, mentally challenged women from Rosewood and put them to work as housemaids. Purportedly, the man leading this operation was the notorious trial attorney, Harry B. Wolf. With numerous court proceedings linking his name to patients discharged from Rosewood Center, Wolf managed to keep all of this very non-kosher business completely private. After further investigation, Kanner found that 166 patients had ?left? the institution under habeas corpus writs from 1911 to 1933. In reality, these girls had been sexually abused, overworked and underfed, and many had perished from pulmonary tuberculosis. As soon as one could not adequately perform her housework, she was thrown out onto the streets and dispensed for a new one.

Had Kanner not investigated the human trafficking, we may have never known exactly what went on at Rosewood?in fact, in many aspects, we still don?t.

Source: A Forgotten Scandal in Baltimore?s High Society by Jesse Bering

Courtesy of NPR

On June 17, 2008, investigators from the Office of the State Prosecutor executed a search and seizure warrant at Dixon?s home for alleged illegal spending. In November of the following year, Dixon was tried for three counts of felony theft, three counts of misdemeanor embezzlement, and one count of misconduct in office. Dixon had spent Target and Best Buy gift cards donated by a local developer of low-income housing intended for inner-city children?s programs for personal use. Before being offered a plea deal, Dixon claimed she had misidentified the gift cards as personal gifts. As part of that of that, Dixon was required to complete 500 hours of community service, four years? probation, and donate $45,000 to the charity of her choice. In return, she was forced to resign from mayor, but would continue to receive her $83,000 pension.

This past summer, after a five-year hiatus from politics, Dixon announced she would be seeking re-election. Confident that Baltimore residents will give her a second chance, Dixon claims that her commitment to the city is as strong as ever. When asked about Dixon's seeking re-election, history teacher and city resident, Mr. Bolenbaugh stated, "I know that we are supposed to forgive, but I certainly won't forget." With promises to bring attention to new gun control legislation and new transportation projects, voters have lots to think about before casting their votes later this month.

zombie preparedness, and free ponies for all Americans. On the mandatory tooth brushing laws Supreme said that ?gingivitis has been eroding the gumline of this great nation of ours for long enough and must be stopped."

According to Supreme, he's been able to rise to the top of the "over 1,500 people that are running for president" because of "several simple, yet elegant and very effective measures ... for example, wearing a rubber boot upside-down on one's head." In conclusion, Supreme?s shtick is to satirize political candidates who will promise anything to gain votes, and he does so in a hilarious way. The fact that people vote for him to the point of actually beating an establishment candidate despite his comedic ways is simply remarkable.

Nathan F. '18

Supreme?s shtick is to satirize political candidates who will promise anything to gain votes, and he does so in a hilarious way.

Sheila Dixonfrom page 1

Photo by Forsaken Fotos on Flickr https://secure.flickr.com/photos/55229469@N07/

Throughout the 1950s and into the 1970s, investigators began to take notice of potential malpractice. However, the harm uncovered went beyond anyone?s wildest dreams. The doctors would abuse their patients via questionable electroshock and other treatments which those who endured it never needed. However, rather than Rosewood standing as icon of prior abuse, the hidden story during dusk of a 1970?s night demonstrate the continuing fear.

Initially a secret well kept, the story of 20 missing patients became a slightly more well known story. While transporting patients to another center for treatment due to the shutdown of Rosewood, a group of twenty patients disappeared. To this day, no one knows any details of that night. Everyone involved in the disappearance was never heard from again. In addition to this disturbing story, I have noticed something much more noteworthy taking place.

In 2009, the entire Rosewood

Rosewood: Behind the Scenes

Michael M. '16

Center closed, designated to reopen as a through road in 2012. The reason given for the closure was construction. Later, in 2012, officials announced Rosewood Center's permanent closure, for no apparent reason. This spiked my curiosity. I've driven by the Rosewood Center frequently since it closed. The most notable observation I have made is that of all the construction vehicles there, none have moved at all in the last seven years. Therefore, something mysterious must be going on within the closed off facility. This is something we may never know, leaving us just as lost as the people who vanished on that fateful night.

Rosewood: A Murky History

Julius L. '16

Julius L. '16 and Michael M. '16 explore the mysterious Rosewood Center, located in Owings Mills

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The countdown has finally begun, the numbers have been posted above the locker bay. Thirty days until the seniors? last day of school. After enduring four years of papers, tests, and quizzes, we are finally nearing the end of our high school lives.

Many of the seniors, including me, have wished away the last few months of the year, waiting to be done. However, what many of us do not realize is that once we leave Beth Tfiloh, everything will change. BT has provided us not only with an unprecedented Jewish education, but also with a second home. Beginning with freshman orientation in August 2012 and finishing with the senior Shabbaton this March, our grade has experienced a lot together. While filling out applications, writing college essays, and trying to figure out where we want to spend the next four years has been demanding and stressful (to say the least), senior year has shown us the importance of our time at BT. Next year, wherever all of us end up, whether it be in college, gap years, or the military (U.S. and Israeli), we will be in the minority.

So few children in the U.S. receive a Jewish education. Throughout our years at BT, we have learned stories from the Torah, how to interpret the Halacha, to love Israel, Jewish values, and much more. Wherever we go, we will need to adapt to our environment because BT kids are unique. It may be hard for a friend to understand the Weiner Tournament or a cholent contest. Therefore, before

Senior Reflect ioninsight

Editors-in-ChiefAlyse M. '17 and Jordan C. '17

Managing EditorsRyan S. '17

Design and LayoutAlyssa M. '17

StaffDaniel B. '17

Ben B. '17

Ben. B. '18

Kara E. '17

Nathan F. '18

Matthew G. '17

Julius L. '16

Michael M. '16

Guest WriterTyler M. '16

Faculty AdvisorMrs. Rina Goloskov

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we know it, we will heading off to a new part of our lives in August and BT will be in the past. However, once we leave, we all know that BT will always welcome us back with open arms.

As we begin to study for final exams and finish our senior theses, we look forward to internship opportunities and our highly anticipated Poland and Israel trip. However, before we focus on the prospects of the future, we should look back and remember all of the incredible times we shared at Beth Tfiloh.

Hannah C. '16

Before we know it, we will heading off to a new part of our lives...and BT will be in the past. [But] we all know that BT will always welcome us back with open arms.

Though Noah S. ?16 loves his biological parents and appreciates their caring for him and sending him to Beth Tfiloh, recent events have shaken his preconceptions and unraveled his sense of family. Lying in his bed at night, the provocative words incessantly echoed in his head.

?You are truly my children.?

?You are all my children.?

?You are my children.?

?Children.?

?Child.?

Noah knew it couldn?t be true. His parents had raised him for his entire life. They had photo albums from when he was a baby. Family pictures. Stories spanning as far back as he could remember. Still, the words wouldn?t escape his mind. Mrs. Schorr said it. Noah turned over in bed, wondering, ?Who am I to doubt Mrs. Schorr??

It couldn?t be true. But what if it was? Is it possible that we are all her children? Recuperating from a sleepless night, Noah determined to satisfy his ravenous curiosity through a standard genetic genealogy DNA test.

Tasked with acquiring a biological sample, Noah surgically plucked a single copper-brown strand of her hair for testing then next morning. However, months later, when the results came back, Noah seemed further from answering his questions than he was before starting his investigation. Noah recoiled in disbelief as the laboratory write-up explained that the hair sample which he acquired wasn?t even Mrs. Schorr?s real hair.

Defeated, Noah spent the evening cursing his foolishness, desperately wondering whether he was one of Mrs. Schorr?s children. Just then, while wallowing in his failure, Noah realized something incredible. Who cares if the hairs on Mrs. Schorr?s hair are hers or not. Even if they are hers, it wouldn?t change anything. Either way, nobody would know the difference. Noah pondered, ?does it really matter if I am her child or not?? Just like Noah didn?t know if he was Mrs. Schorr?s son, an outsider wouldn?t know whether the copper-brown locks are Mrs. Schorr?s own hair.

So are we all Mrs. Schorr?s children? Some things in life are better left a mystery.

Justin W. ?16

DNA TEST CONFIRMS WHETHER WE ARE ALL ACTUALLY MRS. SCHORR?S CHILDREN

Other Stor ies We Didn't Bother To Write-Mrs. Lebowitz breaks Guinness World Record for most number of students paged to office

-AIMS accreditat ion revoked due to improper ly tessellated ceiling t i le

-Coach Clark upgrades from golf cart to Lamborghini

-NIH declares strange odors in BT "are a ser ious health hazard"

-Mr. Allulis hacks 360 ? no homework for rest of semester

-Senior Skip Day program developed by Ms. Levit t-Klein

-The 9 things Student Government doesn?t want you to know

-BT cafeter ia loses half a star on Yelp

Welcome to Insight's post-Purim, post-April Fool's satire section!

The 2015 school year boasted several surprising and shocking events. One incident, however, stands out among the rest; one that left every high school student speechless: Mrs. Lerman?s upsetting Morah Lanner for the cholent cook-off grand prize.

When it was announced that Mrs. Lerman defeated Morah Lanner, a collective gasp could be heard in the theatre. Everyone seemed to ask the same question: How did Mrs. Lerman, basically a rookie, defeat the veteran Morah Lanner at her own game, who was also vying for her fourth straight cholent cook-off title?

Now, students should understand that more shocking outcomes than Mrs. Lerman?s victory have occurred at Beth Tfiloh before, like the Boys Varsity Lacrosse team actually doing well these past two seasons. Although students should not be extremely surprised that Mrs. Lerman won for her very spicy cholent, many believe that, like SpyGate and DeflateGate, there now may be a CholentGate.

Listening to Mrs. Lerman?s long and tiring acceptance speech where she continuously thanked others, including Morah Lanner, for her award-winning cholent recipe, Insight staff decided to investigate as to whether there was any foul play during this supposedly ?fair? contest.

Several pieces of evidence have put Mrs. Lerman?s win into question. Although most students apparently chose Mrs. Lerman?s cholent as their favorite, Jared H. ?18, who dished out Morah Lanner?s cholent, ran out of his stew extremely quick. Mrs. Lerman?s container, on the other hand, was still half-full at this time, making some question how Morah Lanner?s cholent, the clear favorite, did not win.

However, the answer to this question may have recently been revealed: while analyzing the data, Justin W. ?16 determined that 30 more votes were placed in the plastic basketball than the actual number of students who paid for cholent, and each of these tickets voted for Mrs. Lerman?s cholent in the same handwriting. Currently, DNA tests are being performed on these tickets to determine if Mrs. Lerman truly ?deflated? the contest.

The cholent committee is currently investigating these disheartening and scandalous allegations, coming from one of Beth Tfiloh?s lauded college guidance counselors. If Mrs. Lerman is found guilty, the committee may enact one of several possible ramifications, from a suspension from the cholent cook-off for two years, a fine of ten pounds of cholent for Insight staff, or a loss of four ingredient

picks that cannot be used to make her cholent for next year.

Though it is a shame that such findings should be made following cholent?s most important stage, the committee?s investigation will hopefully not only end CholentGate, but also revive the cholent cook-off?s reputation as a fair and untainted competition.

Joshua Goldmansonberg '18, a sophomore at Beth Tfiloh Dahan Community School, was arrested this morning just after 8 am at the 3300 block of Old Court Road and Torah Drive.

Around 8:02 am, on-site officer Deputy Jeffery Amdur was called to the High School office five times in a span of 90 seconds, after High School office staff sensed suspicious behavior outside the front entrance.

Goldmansonberg, the suspicious subject, reportedly utilized the school?s call-in buzzer in an effort to gain admission into the building. However, after failing to show his face to the camera on the buzzer and uttering simple one-word answers such as ?Goldmansonberg? and ?school? to disclose his identity and reason for trying to enter the building, respectively, administrators grew weary of his intentions.

Once Deputy Amdur arrived, the officer opened the doors to the high school entrance, tackled the suspect, handcuffed him, and read him his Miranda

rights. Deputy Amdur then dragged the perpetrator into the High School office, where he was given a 4x4 inch unexcused late note, which was to be given to his davening instructor without delay.

?We take security at our school very seriously,? said an anonymous BT faculty member. ?Unfortunately, those aspiring to enter the building between the hours of 8 am and 4:15 pm without a note from a parent are prohibited from doing so.?

The culprit was then taken into custody by the Baltimore County Police Department, where he later was released on bail of $1 and two lunch detentions.

Those with any knowledge of the cause of the perpetrator?s lateness are asked to contact the High School office immediately

BT Student Arrested After Arr iving Late to School

Ryan S. ?17

CholentGate: Mrs. Lerman Fixes Cholent Cook-Off

Jordan C. '17

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I shall be supporting Ted Cruz for president in 2016. Many consider this man to be crazy ? insane, even ? and actually, I agree. However, I believe that America needs a mentally challenged person as its next candidate.

While many people support candidates Bernie Sanders and Donald Trump for not being ?establishment? and conforming, people miss that Ted Cruz is the true non-normal candidate. Bernie Sanders may be the ?lovable? old man, but only a bold, brave, candidate such as Ted Cruz would be willing to declare that ?[i]t is the job of a chaplain to be insensitive to atheists,? a stance not many would be willing to take.

Donald Trump and Ben Carson have been facing heavy fire for their apparent proclivity towards lies, but Ted Cruz has stood strong, proving that truthfulness will win (as shown by Iowa). Ted Cruz?s honesty is reflected by his record for publicly-asserted falsehoods at 56 percent, meaning that a whopping 44 percent of all his statements are 100 percent truth, something he and his supporters should be extremely proud of. Ted Cruz?s strong belief in utmost truthfulness was further revealed when he stated that he ?didn?t threaten to shut down the government? immediately after threatening to shut down the government.

Unlike other candidates, Ted Cruz is not afraid to state the whole truth. When asked by a little girl if the world was going to burn, Ted Cruz struck back

with the absolute truth, stating to her face that ?Yes! Your world is on fire!? While some may criticize this statement as fear-mongering, in reality it merely reflects Ted Cruz's utter faith that the truth should never be hidden, even towards small,innocent children.

Every other candidate running for president has hedged around difficult issues such as democracy and negotiation, but not Ted Cruz. Showing off his absolute commitment to equality, Ted Cruz declared he would be willing to ?compromise with Martians? once they come to Earth.

Bernie Sanders! What a relief from the status quo of wealthy politicians. He's pretty much a Jewish grandfather. Every time I hear him say "we need to demilitarize our police force," I recognize the threatening nature of local policemen who work hard to keep our neighborhoods safe. Why can't they just ask the criminals to go to prison? I'm sure they'll listen.

As a dedicated liberal, I am against career politicians, which is exactly why I will be voting for Bernie Sanders, another career politician. His ideas are simple: take the money from the rich and give it to the poor... sounds good to me! I'm going to college soon. I don?t want to pay for that! I trust Bernie to take enough money from successful American employers to guarantee a college education for free, obviously without raising taxes on everyone else.

I would certainly vote for Hillary too, just so we can have our first woman president. That would be worth any damage she may cause. Scandals? Whatever. E-mails? Everyone does it! Benghazi and the death of four Americans? That's fine! Hillary has been in office for over twenty years, but once again, I am against career politicians and would never endorse one. Clinton ? Sanders 2016 ballot! Black lives matter! Vote Sanders!

Bernin Up

Ben B. '17

Cruz Control

Finally, America truly deserves a president that is not afraid of seeming weird or crazy just to fit in, but instead merely acting as themselves and ''let[ing] loose." While other candidates may shy away from odd statements, Ted Cruz once again charged forward, not afraid to let the world know that he was one bitten by an octopus, or that he is a ?very, very, proud wacko bird.?

So who do you want to vote for? A boring candidate, or a ?wacko bird? that was once bitten by an octopus? To me, the choice is clear. #ChooseCruz

Courtesy of thedailybeast.om

This writer has experienced cold temperatures while trekking through the snowy Swiss Alps and frequenting Utah ski slopes each frigid December.

However, the world?s snow-capped mountains pale in comparison to the brutal, icy climate of wintertime Beth Tfiloh. Upon entering the building, passing by the teachers holding the door, thankful to start their mornings in the outdoors? comparatively balmy 15 degrees, one immediately believes oneself to have accidentally wandered into a spacious Arctic iceberg?s crevasse, a polar bear?s lair, or perhaps an oversized ice cream shop freezer.

The school?s extreme climate renders the building hazardous even to those who would brave its icicle-laden hallways in the winter months. Therefore, this writer has endeavored to impart crucial tips for survival to future BT students before his upcoming graduation:

-Wear baggy sweatpants underneath your skir t or khakis

*This new trend, although it confuses both dress code literals and normal people, has its merits.

-Huddle for warmth

*As long as it is in accordance with the Student Handbook that you all have definitely read.

A Backpacker?s Survival Tips for Winter t ime at BT

-Stuff hand warmers into your shoes

-Dismantle the heating apparatuses that actually blow cold air

-Steal Rabbi Field?s hat

-Install a fireplace in the library maintained by freshman slaves

-Set a desk on fire

-Keep the dress code and leave your jacket in your locker? Hashem will keep you warm

-Sleep inside a horse carcass, The Revenant-style

Just kidding.

Oscar-winning but not kosher.

Alex R. '16

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Daniel B. '17

In other News....Mr. Amdur Opens Starbucks Stand in Library!

Fixer Upper: BT Bathroom Remodeling Edit ion

Before After

Photo editing by Daniel B. '17

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