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A full-length comedy for young audiences by Callan Stout

This script is for evaluation only. It may not be printed, photocopied or distributed digitally under any circumstances. Possession of this file does not grant the right to perform this play or any portion of it, or to use it for classroom study.

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Brownies, Bicycles and Bigfoot © 2013 Callan Stout All rights reserved. ISBN 978-1-62088-195-8. Caution: This play is fully protected under the copyright laws of the United States of America, Canada, the British Commonwealth and all other countries of the copyright union and is subject to royalty for all performances including but not limited to professional, amateur, charity and classroom whether admission is charged or presented free of charge. Reservation of Rights: This play is the property of the author and all rights for its use are strictly reserved and must be licensed by his representative, YouthPLAYS. This prohibition of unauthorized professional and amateur stage presentations extends also to motion pictures, recitation, lecturing, public reading, radio broadcasting, television, video and the rights of adaptation or translation into non-English languages. Performance Licensing and Royalty Payments: Amateur and stock performance rights are administered exclusively by YouthPLAYS. No amateur, stock or educational theatre groups or individuals may perform this play without securing authorization and royalty arrangements in advance from YouthPLAYS. Required royalty fees for performing this play are available online at www.YouthPLAYS.com. Royalty fees are subject to change without notice. Required royalties must be paid each time this play is performed and may not be transferred to any other performance entity. All licensing requests and inquiries should be addressed to YouthPLAYS. Author Credit: All groups or individuals receiving permission to produce this play must give the author(s) credit in any and all advertisement and publicity relating to the production of this play. The author's billing must appear directly below the title on a separate line with no other accompanying written matter. The name of the author(s) must be at least 50% as large as the title of the play. No person or entity may receive larger or more prominent credit than that which is given to the author(s) and the name of the author(s) may not be abbreviated or otherwise altered from the form in which it appears in this Play. Publisher Attribution: All programs, advertisements, flyers or other printed material must include the following notice: Produced by special arrangement with YouthPLAYS (www.youthplays.com). Prohibition of Unauthorized Copying: Any unauthorized copying of this book or excerpts from this book, whether by photocopying, scanning, video recording or any other means, is strictly prohibited by law. This book may only be copied by licensed productions with the purchase of a photocopy license, or with explicit permission from YouthPLAYS. Trade Marks, Public Figures & Musical Works: This play may contain references to brand names or public figures. All references are intended only as parody or other legal means of expression. This play may also contain suggestions for the performance of a musical work (either in part or in whole). YouthPLAYS has not obtained performing rights of these works unless explicitly noted. The direction of such works is only a playwright's suggestion, and the play producer should obtain such permissions on their own. The website for the U.S. copyright office is http://www.copyright.gov.

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CAST OF CHARACTERS

FIDGET, a young dog, probably male.

CATNAP, an older cat, probably female.

BONNIE, 13-year-old girl.

GORDIE, 9-year-old boy

BEVERLY, 6-year-old girl.

THERESA, 11-year-old neighbor girl.

MOTHER, the mother.

BIGFOOT, AKA SASQUATCH, probably male.

SETTING

A kitchen and the forest in the foothills surrounding Mount St. Helens in Oregon.

TIME

The present.

DEDICATION

To everyone who didn't think I was too small.

Brownies, Bicycles and Bigfoot 5

© Callan Stout

This is a perusal copy only.

Absolutely no printing, copying or performance permitted.

ACT I

SCENE 1

(The forest at the base of Mt. St. Helens in the evening. FIGDET runs on barking at something that was chasing him.)

FIDGET: Wooof woof woof woof woof.

(He stops and turns around after a safe distance and barks back towards offstage.)

Woof woof woof.

(Feeling he has done a sufficient job, he stops. He sniffs around the trees, eventually he goes up to a tree and lifts a leg.)

(CATNAP swaggers up to Fidget. Catnap stands behind Fidget as he continues to sniff at the trees.)

CATNAP: (Cat howl:) RRRRRRRRRRRRRRarrrrrrrrrr.


(Fidget jumps and runs to the other side of the stage. Catnap starts laughing. Fidget runs off.)

CATNAP: Silly little dog, you'd think he would've learned by now. I've done that to him at least five times today and he has been living with me for the last year. His name is Fidget. My name is Catnap and I am in charge of the Creamer family. I adopted them when they moved here about five years ago. They seemed like a city family and I was a little worried they wouldn't be ready to live in a forest by an active volcano. Mt. St. Helens last erupted about 20 years ago, but you never know when it might blow again. So, I decided they needed someone to look out for them. They have already learned a lot from me and I've got them trained pretty well, but they still have a long way to go.

(Fidget runs back on stage and circles around Catnap.)

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(GORDIE rides in on his bicycle following Fidget at top speed. Catnap sits still and shakes her head.)

CATNAP: Especially this one. Gordie is a little boy. What more do I need to say? He got this bicycle for Christmas and he hasn't gotten off since and it's August. He even rides his bicycle in the house. Once he ran over the end of my tail. It hasn't been quite as straight since. I had to punish him for that. He didn't do it again.

BONNIE: (Off:) Gordie! Gordie! Where did you go? Fidget, come here! Gordie!!

GORDIE: I'm over here, Bonnie.

(BONNIE enters.)

BONNIE: Gordie, you can't run away from me. You might get lost.

GORDIE: I was following Fidget.

BONNIE: So? That dog doesn't know where he's going and you're too little to be in the forest alone.

GORDIE: Am not.

BONNIE: Are too.

(Bonnie and Gordie keep arguing, "am not" and "are too." Fidget is running on and off barking at something in the woods and hiding behind Gordie and Bonnie.)


CATNAP: That's Bonnie. She's learned the most since they've lived with me. I even let her sleep in bed with me. She feeds me and pets me and keeps her little brother from bothering me. Gordie is almost as wild as his dog, Fidget.


© Callan Stout



FIDGET: There's something out there. It's really big.

BONNIE: Fidget, stop barking.

MOTHER: (Off:) Bonnie, Gordie, it's getting late. You need to come home. Make sure Catnap comes with you, I heard on the news there has been a mountain lion sighting close to town.

CATNAP: You don't need to tell me twice.

(Catnap quickly trots off towards Mother.)

Bonnie, Gordie and Fidget come on. It's getting dark.

BONNIE: Come on, Gordie.

GORDIE: Fidget's not coming.

BONNIE: He'll follow you if you come.

GORDIE: Ok. I'll race you.


(Gordie races off stage on his bicycle and Fidget runs behind him barking.)

BONNIE: Hey. But you're on a bicycle.

(There is a rustling off stage in the other direction from where mother was calling. Bonnie looks at it and is scared.)

Hey! Gordie! Wait for me. You're not supposed to run off, even if we're racing.

(Bonnie runs off stage following Gordie. BIGFOOT enters, creeping around the edge of the stage. He sees Fidget's collar lying on the ground. Bigfoot picks it up. He takes a good look at it.)

BIGFOOT: You forgot something.

(Blackout.)

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SCENE 2

(The kitchen at night. MOTHER, BEVERLY and THERESA are sitting at the table drinking hot chocolate. Beverly is drawing pictures of Catnap and Fidget. Catnap walks in through the open door, Fidget runs in close behind her.)


(Fidget runs around the table then runs out the still open door. Gordie rides in on his bicycle and Fidget runs in after him. Catnap walks over to a corner and curls up to go to sleep.)

MOTHER: Fidget, stop barking. You really have to teach him not to bark, Gordie.

GORDIE: Yes, Mom. Can I have some hot chocolate?

MOTHER: Gordie, where did Fidget's collar go?

GORDIE: I don't know.

MOTHER: It was brand new. That's the third collar we've bought that dog.

(Bonnie runs in the door and slams it behind her.)


MOTHER: Bonnie, please don't slam the door. Fidget, stop barking. Go lie down.

(Fidget stops barking and goes to lie by Catnap.)

CATNAP: I can't believe you already lost your collar.

FIDGET: It was itchy.

CATNAP: Having a collar is an honor. You shouldn't lose it.

FIDGET: Sorry.

BONNIE: I think I saw the mountain lion that was on the news.


© Callan Stout



MOTHER: I doubt it, but I don't want anyone out after dark without an adult.

ALL CHILDREN: Yes, Mom.

MOTHER: Theresa, I'll walk you home in five minutes.

THERESA: Thank you, Mrs. Creamer. My mom says it's not a mountain lion that the people saw at all. My mom says that people have seen Bigfoot. She says he's been coming into town because it has been so dry in the forest and the bark beetles are eating the trees, so that the squirrels are going away, so he doesn't have anything to eat.

MOTHER: Well, I'm not sure about Bigfoot. It is dry and the bark beetles are eating the trees, but I would be more worried about a forest fire than Bigfoot.

(Fidget gets up at the mention of Bigfoot.)

FIDGET: Catnap, I saw something outside. Did I see Bigfoot?

CATNAP: I don't think you saw Bigfoot. Sit.

(Fidget sits.)

FIDGET: I did. He was really big and hairy.

CATNAP: I bet you saw the mountain lion. Mountain lions are really big and hairy. Lie down.

(Fidget lies down.)

FIDGET: Okay, if you say so.

CATNAP: Stay. Good dog.

(Fidget turns over and goes to sleep.)

MOTHER: Bonnie, would you like some hot chocolate?

BEVERLY: It's really yummy, but hot.

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BONNIE: Sure.

THERESA: My mom says that Bigfoot is seven feet tall and covered in hair.

MOTHER: Well, you should all watch out, because of the mountain lion.

THERESA: Or Bigfoot!

MOTHER: Or Bigfoot.

BEVERLY: Mommy, look at my picture. This is Catnap and this is Fidget and this is me.

MOTHER: Bev that is a very nice picture. Now, go get ready for bed please.

BEVERLY: But Bonnie and Gordie don't have to.

MOTHER: Bonnie and Gordie are not six.

BEVERLY: But I haven't finished my picture.

MOTHER: It looks perfect.

BEVERLY: But you're not in it yet.

MOTHER: You can add me tomorrow.

BEVERLY: Okay.

(Beverly walks off into the rest of the house to get ready for bed.)

MOTHER: I'm going to walk Theresa home. Bonnie and Gordie, here is your hot chocolate. When I get back you two better be in your pajamas, too.

BONNIE: But Mom it's like seven o'clock and it's not even a school night.

MOTHER: Don't argue with me Bonnie.

BONNIE: But Mom.


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GORDIE: Me too Mom. Please?

MOTHER: No. That's my final answer.

BONNIE: Mom!

MOTHER: Bonnie come here a moment.

BONNIE: Mom.

MOTHER: Please.

BONNIE: Fine.

MOTHER: You can stay up, but please get into your pajamas so Gordie doesn't argue. Ok?

BONNIE: Ok ok.

MOTHER: Thank you. Now come on, Theresa.

GORDIE: Bonnie has to go to bed. Bonnie has to go to bed. Neener neener neener.

BONNIE: So do you, bicycle brain.

THERESA: We should take a flashlight. My mom says Bigfoot is scared of flashlights.

MOTHER: I think we'll be alright, but I'll take Fidget. Fidget, come here. Maybe we can find your collar on the way back.

BONNIE: Bye Theresa.

MOTHER: Pajamas.

BONNIE: Yes Mom.

MOTHER: Lock the door.

BONNIE: Ok.

(Theresa, Mother and Fidget exit. Catnap stretches in her corner, gets up and walks over to Bonnie and starts rubbing against her leg.)

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BONNIE: Gordie, you can't drink your hot chocolate and ride your bike at the same time. Get off your bike and put it in the corner.

GORDIE: You're not the boss of me.

CATNAP: I want some milk.

BONNIE: Hey, Catnap. What do you want? You want some milk don't you?

(Bonnie gets milk for Catnap and puts in on the floor.)

CATNAP: See, I have her trained very well.

BONNIE: Gordie, get off your bike. You're going to spill your hot chocolate everywhere.

GORDIE: No, I'm not.

BONNIE: Yes, you are.

GORDIE: No!

BONNIE: Yes!

GORDIE: You're not the boss of me. Not the boss. Not the boss.

BONNIE: You're so annoying. All the time.

GORDIE: Am not!

(Gordie spills his hot chocolate.)

(Blackout.)


© Callan Stout



SCENE 3

(In the forest at night, Mother is walking Theresa home with Fidget. Fidget is running all over the place, sniffing at trees and barking.)

MOTHER: Theresa, the kids and I are having a picnic tomorrow afternoon. Do you want to come with us?

THERESA: Oh, yes. Thank you, Mrs. Creamer.

MOTHER: We'll have to ask your mom.

THERESA: I'm sure she'll say yes. She likes you a lot. She says that you have your heart in the right spot.

MOTHER: Why thank you, Theresa. That's very nice.

(There is a rustling off stage. Fidget hides behind Mother.)


THERESA: What was that?

MOTHER: It was probably just the wind. Don't worry we'll be at your house soon.

THERESA: I'm not worried. Bigfoot doesn't like to come out when there's more than one person. My mom says he's shy, even though he is really scary looking. But you don't have a flashlight. How are you going to get back home?

MOTHER: I'll be fine, Theresa.

THERESA: You can borrow one from me for your walk back and then you can give it back to me tomorrow at the picnic.

MOTHER: That's a great idea.

(Mother and Theresa exit, while Fidget is still sniffing at something. Bigfoot peers out from behind a tree. Fidget turns around, but Bigfoot hides again. Fidget sniffs at the tree as Bigfoot steps out. Fidget sniffs at Bigfoot's foot, and then up his

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leg until he sees it is BIGFOOT! Fidget runs to a safe distance. Bigfoot walks up to Fidget and holds out his collar.)

BIGFOOT: Excuse me. I think this belongs to you.

(Fidget backs away. Bigfoot tries to approach.)


(Bigfoot tries to chase him. Fidget chases Bigfoot back. Bigfoot throws the collar and they both chase after it with Bigfoot getting it first. Bigfoot plays keep away with Fidget. Bigfoot is having fun, and so is Fidget.)

MOTHER: (Off:) Fidget. Here boy. Fidget.

(Hearing Mother, Bigfoot throws the collar and Fidget catches it in his mouth. Bigfoot exits as Mother and Theresa enter.)

THERESA: There he is. He's got something in his mouth.

MOTHER: Fidget, you found your collar.

(Rubbing Fidget's head and putting his collar on him)

Good boy.

THERESA: Good doggy.

MOTHER: Come on now, I've still got to walk Theresa home.

(Mother and Theresa exit, while Fidget lingers hoping to see Bigfoot. Then Fidget exits.)

BIGFOOT: Good bye.

(Bigfoot drops his head in loneliness and runs back into the forest.)

(Fade out.)


© Callan Stout



SCENE 4

(In the kitchen the next morning, Bonnie and Beverly are eating cereal at the kitchen table. Gordie is riding on his bicycle around the table and stopping every now and then to take a bite of cereal. Catnap is curled up in a corner, napping. Mother is looking through the kitchen and getting things ready for the picnic.)

BONNIE: Gordie, stop it. You're making me dizzy.

GORDIE: No.

BONNIE: Mom, make him stop. He's making me dizzy.

MOTHER: Bonnie, it's just a phase. He'll grow out of it. All kids go through phases. You did.

BONNIE: I didn't ride my bike around the kitchen.

MOTHER: No, you did other things.

BONNIE: Sometimes I wish I never had a little brother.

MOTHER: Bonnie, don't say that.

BONNIE: But he's so annoying. Gordie, stop it!

BEVERLY: Mommy, can I ride my bike in the kitchen?

MOTHER: No dear. You can ride yours when we go on the picnic.

BEVERLY: Please?

MOTHER: No.

(Beverly gets out of her seat and sits on the floor next to the cat and starts petting her. The cat wakes up and rolls over, letting Beverly pet her stomach.)

CATNAP: This one is trained pretty well, but she's still really young. I can remember when she used to pull my fur.

MOTHER: What do you guys want for the picnic?

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GORDIE: Brownies!!!!

MOTHER: Okay, brownies. Anything else?

BONNIE: Peaches. And can we please get soda?

MOTHER: Yes. Bev, do you want anything?

BEVERLY: Can Catnap come with us?

MOTHER: We'll have to see if she wants to follow.

BEVERLY: I want her to come.

MOTHER: We can try.

(A scratching is heard at the outside door.)

Someone let in Fidget.

(Bonnie gets up and opens the door. Fidget bounds into the room.)


(Bonnie picks up the dishes from the table and puts them in the sink.)

BONNIE: Fidget, stop barking.

BEVERLY: Mommy, I think Catnap wants some milk. Can I give her some milk?

MOTHER: Okay sweetie, but let Bonnie help you, okay?

BEVERLY: I can do it myself.

MOTHER: The milk is really full and really heavy. Bonnie, help her.

BONNIE: Only if you make Gordie stop.

MOTHER: Please, Bonnie.

BONNIE: Fine.


© Callan Stout



MOTHER: Thank you.

(Bonnie helps Beverly pour the milk.)

BEVERLY: I can do it by myself.

BONNIE: Okay, that's enough milk. All done. Good job.

(Gordie is still zooming around the kitchen on his bike.)

GORDIE: I want brownies.

MOTHER: I'll make brownies for the picnic, but not now. I have to go to McGee's Market to pick up a few things. I invited Theresa to come on the picnic, so she will be coming over soon. Bev, do you want to come with me?

BEVERLY: No, I want to stay with Catnap.

(Catnap is drinking the milk while Beverly pets her.)

GORDIE: (Race car noises:) Vrooooom. Vrooooooooooom. Vrooo- vrooo- VROOOOOOOOOOM!

BONNIE: Mom, can I make the brownies?

MOTHER: We'll make them together when I get back. I need you to just watch Bev and Gordie.

BONNIE: I can make brownies too.

MOTHER: I know. But I would prefer you to just watch them. And Theresa is coming over so please let her in.

BONNIE: Fine Mom. Fine.

MOTHER: Gordie, please don't ride your bike in the house when I'm not here. Ok?

GORDIE: Ok.

MOTHER: I love you three. Bye.

BEVERLY: I love you too, Mommy.

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(Mother leaves.)


(Gordie gets off his bike and leaves it in the middle of the room.)

CATNAP: Fidget, nothing is happening, be quiet.

FIDGET: I'm trying to warn them about Bigfoot. He's in the woods. I barked and chased him away.

CATNAP: The only thing you chase is your tail.

FIDGET: He's afraid of me.

CATNAP: Well, it doesn't matter, because no one is going to listen to you if you just bark and bark. Sit. Lie down. Roll over. Play dead.

(Fidget sits, lies down, rolls over and plays dead.)

FIDGET: Sorry, your majesty.

CATNAP: Good dog.

BONNIE: Gordie, I'm going to make the brownies all by myself and surprise Mom. She'll be so proud.

GORDIE: Okay.

(Gordie runs into the other room followed by Fidget.)

BEVERLY: Mommy said she'd make the brownies.

BONNIE: Bev, we're going to surprise Mom, so she won't have to do all the work.

BEVERLY: Can Catnap help?

BONNIE: No, kitties can't make brownies.

CATNAP: That's right. I don't do work.


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(Catnap curls back up in her corner and goes back to sleep. Gordie comes back into the kitchen with a Frisbee and throws it at Bonnie and Fidget runs after it.)


BONNIE: Ouch. Gordie, Mom said you can't throw that in the house.

GORDIE: So. She's not here.

BONNIE: That's the rule.

BEVERLY: Yeah.

GORDIE: That's Mom's rule.

BONNIE: It's THE rule!

GORDIE: Well, then I'll go outside.

(Gordie goes to the door.)

BONNIE: There are mountain lions outside and they like eating little boys.

GORDIE: No, they don't.

BONNIE: They like to munch on little boy toes.

GORDIE: No.

BONNIE: Yes.

BEVERLY: Do mountain lions like eating little girls?

BONNIE: No, Bevie, they won't eat you. They only eat little boys.

GORDIE: I don't believe you. I'm going outside.

BONNIE: Fine. Get eaten. Then you won't annoy me anymore.

GORDIE: I will!

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BONNIE: Good!

(Gordie goes outside with his Frisbee. Fidget tries to stop him, but Gordie slams the door before Fidget can get through.)

BEVERLY: Bonnie, is Gordie going to get eaten?

BONNIE: No, Bevie. He'll be okay.

BEVERLY: Are you sure?

BONNIE: I'm positive. Come on, let's make brownies.

BEVERLY: Okay.

(Bonnie picks up Beverly and puts her on the counter and starts to look for the brownie mix.)

What are you looking for?

BONNIE: The brownie mix.

BEVERLY: Mommy put it over there.

(Gordie runs in through the door and slams it and looks out behind him.)


CATNAP AND BONNIE: Fidget, stop barking.

GORDIE: I heard something outside.

BONNIE: It was probably a mountain lion. It's a good thing you came back inside. I bet it was about to eat you.

GORDIE: It wasn't a mountain lion. It had feet.

BONNIE: Mountain lions have feet.

GORDIE: No. People feet.

BONNIE: Then it must have been Theresa. She's coming over. Remember?


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(Beverly gets the brownie mix.)

Bonnie, I found it.

BONNIE: Oh good. Now we can make them.

GORDIE: Make what?

BEVERLY: Brownies.

GORDIE: I'm going to play with my Frisbee inside.

BONNIE: Fine. Just don't hit me with it.

GORDIE: Okay.

(Gordie starts throwing the Frisbee around the kitchen. Bonnie and Beverly start making brownies; they read the directions, turn on the oven and get the bowl and ingredients.)

BONNIE: We're going to need a spoon. And a bowl.

BEVERLY: I know where everything is.

(Fidget starts chasing the Frisbee as Gordie throws it.)

GORDIE: Fidget. Get it. Get the Frisbee.

(Fidget gets it, then Gordie has to wrestle it from him.)

Give it back. Let go. Fidget. Let go.

(Gordie gets it back and Fidget starts barking again.)

CATNAP: Fidget, come here. You need to calm down. Make the people work for you. Remember, you are in charge of your people.

FIDGET: But I like chasing Gordie. Gordie's my best friend.

CATNAP: I understand that, but make him come to you. For example; if you want your tummy rubbed, just lie on your back and purr a little until he comes over and scratches you.

FIDGET: Okay.

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(Gordie keeps throwing the Frisbee around the kitchen and chasing it himself. Bonnie and Beverly are pouring the powdered brownie mix into a mixing bowl. Beverly is sitting on the counter again.)

BONNIE: We don't want it spill it.

BEVERLY: I won't.

(Gordie throws his Frisbee and it hits the brownie mix. The powder flies everywhere.)


BONNIE: You are in so much trouble! You spilled the brownie mix all over the place. Clean it up right now.

GORDIE: No.

BONNIE: You have to clean it up!

GORDIE: Make me!

BONNIE: Clean it up now!

GORDIE: Come and get me! Na na nana na!

(Bonnie chases Gordie around the kitchen and finally tackles him.)

BONNIE: Get back here.

GORDIE: You can't get me.

(They wrestle on the floor for a while. Fidget starts barking at them again.)

BONNIE: Ouch. That hurts.

CATNAP: Hey, stop that. That isn't helping. This room is filthy. Stop. No one ever listens. Stop.

(Beverly picks up an egg and is trying to break it. She ends up breaking it and spilling the egg everywhere.)


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BEVERLY: Uh oh.

(Bonnie looks up from beating up her little brother and sees what Beverly has done.)

BONNIE: Beverly. (To Gordie:) I'll deal with you later. (To Beverly:) Okay, it's alright. We can still put it in the bowl.

(Bonnie picks up the egg with her hand and puts it in the bowl.)

BEVERLY: Eww. It's slimy

(She puts the shells in the trash. Gordie rides his bicycle around the kitchen again.)


(Bonnie puts the bowl on the counter, gets Gordie's Frisbee, opens the kitchen window and throws it outside.)

BEVERLY: I want to ride my bike, too.

(Beverly gets her bicycle.)

GORDIE: Bet you can't go as fast as me.

BEVERLY: Yes I can.

(She rides around the kitchen trying to keep up with her brother.)

GORDIE: No you can't.

CATNAP: Alright. Everyone stop. You need to clean up this mess.

(Catnap is almost run over with a bicycle.)

I'm outta here.

(Catnap leaves. There is a KNOCK at the door.)


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BONNIE: Be quiet!! There's someone at the door. Fidget, be quiet.

(Gordie and Beverly are a little quieter. Bonnie goes over to the door.)

BONNIE: Who is it?

FIDGET: Bigfoot. Bigfoot.

THERESA: (Off:) It's Theresa.

BONNIE: Okay, let me open the door.

(Bonnie opens the door and Theresa enters. Beverly gets off her bicycle, leaving it in the middle of the floor and runs over to give Theresa a hug.)

THERESA: What a mess. What are you doing?

BONNIE: I'm making brownies for the picnic.

BEVERLY: I'm helping.

THERESA: Where's your mom?

BONNIE: At the store. We're making them so she doesn't have to.

THERESA: My mom doesn't let me make brownies by myself.

BONNIE: I'm surprising our mom.

(Bonnie goes back to making the brownies. Beverly gets back on her bicycle and rides around the kitchen again, mimicking her brother.)

THERESA: Guess what I saw on my walk over here?

BONNIE: A mountain lion?

THERESA: No. Even better.

BEVERLY: A squirrel?


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THERESA: No. Bigfoot.

GORDIE: Me too.

THERESA: Well, not exactly. I saw a whole bunch of footprints and I think I saw some of his hair.

GORDIE: Well, I saw his foot under a bush when I was playing Frisbee. Hey, where'd my Frisbee go?

BONNIE: (As she mixes in the water:) I don't know.

(Gordie starts looking all over for his Frisbee. Bigfoot's face appears in the window, but no one sees him. Bigfoot has the Frisbee.)

GORDIE: Where is my Frisbee?

BONNIE: I didn't touch it.

GORDIE: Bev, tell me where Bonnie put it.

BEVERLY: I don't know.

GORDIE: Where is it?

BONNIE: Leave her alone.

BEVERLY: I think Bonnie hid it.

BONNIE: Bev, why did you tell him?

BEVERLY: He was looking for it.

THERESA: It's not nice to hide things.

BONNIE: Well he was being a pain in the neck. And he spilled the brownie mix everywhere. He almost completely ruined it.

BEVERLY: Sorry. Can I mix the brownies?

BONNIE: Yes, but don't spill it. Here sit up on the counter so you can reach better.

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GORDIE: Frisbee. Frisbee. Where did mean Bonnie hide you?

(Bigfoot is still at the window. Beverly sticks her fingers in the brownie mix to taste it and gets it all over her face.)

BEVERLY: Where did Catnap go?

BONNIE: I don't know.

(Beverly gets off the counter and starts to look for the cat.)

BEVERLY: Catnap? Where are you? Here kitty kitty kitty. Catnap?

(Bigfoot drops out of sight. Bonnie adds the oil to the brownies and mixes it in.)

GORDIE: Bigfoot's foot was this big.

BEVERLY: Here kitty kitty kitty.

THERESA: My mom says he is eight feet tall.

BONNIE: That's not possible. No one is eight feet tall.

THERESA: Bigfoot is eight feet tall.

(Bigfoot rises up very tall in the window)

BONNIE: Bigfoot doesn't even exist.

BEVERLY: Here kitty kitty kitty.

GORDIE: Yes, he does. I saw him.

BONNIE: No, you didn't. You saw a mountain lion.

GORDIE: No, it was Bigfoot.

BONNIE: There's no such thing as Bigfoot. You're just too much of a child to know that.

GORDIE: No! It was Bigfoot!! Look! There he is. With my Frisbee.


© Callan Stout



(Bigfoot throws the Frisbee in through the window. Gordie makes a diving catch for it, right into Bonnie and the wet brownie mix, which spills all over the counter.)

BEVERLY: I found Catnap.

GORDIE: I saw Bigfoot and he had my Frisbee.

THERESA: I saw him too.

BONNIE: Bigfoot's not real.

GORDIE: Yes he is! I'm going to find him and take a picture so everyone will believe me.

(Gordie gets Mother's camera.)

BONNIE: You can't take Mom's camera outside. She's going to be so mad. And there are mountain lions.

GORDIE: Come on Fidget. We're going to take a picture of Bigfoot.

FIDGET: Bigfoot. Bigfoot. Bigfoot.

BONNIE: I hope you get eaten!

(Gordie and Fidget run out the door and slam it shut.)

BEVERLY: They're going to get in trouble.

BONNIE: Big trouble.

THERESA: We should go get them before Bigfoot does.

BONNIE: Bigfoot isn't real.

BEVERLY: Bonnie, I'm scared.

BONNIE: It's alright. Bigfoot doesn't exist. I promise.

BEVERLY: Okay.

THERESA: But he does. I saw him and so have lots of people.

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(There is a KNOCK at the door.)

I bet that's Bigfoot.

BONNIE: No. It's not.

MOTHER: (Off:) Bonnie, it's Mom. Open the door.

BEVERLY: Uh oh.

(Bonnie opens the door and Mother comes in carrying bags. She sees Theresa.)

MOTHER: Oh good. Theresa got here. (Sees the mess:) What were you guys doing?

BONNIE: I can explain. I wanted to make the brownies. To help you. And Gordie spilled it everywhere.

MOTHER: Where's Gordie?

THERESA: He went into the forest to find Bigfoot.

(Blackout.)


© Callan Stout



SCENE 5

(The forest during the day. Gordie and Fidget are in the Forest looking for Bigfoot. Fidget is sniffing all over the place and Gordie is looking everywhere.)

GORDIE: Bigfoot. Mr. Bigfoot. Please come out. I want to take your picture.

FIDGET: Bigfoot. Come. Sit. Stay.

GORDIE: Fidget, this is going to take forever. Mr. Bigfoot. Come out.

FIDGET: Hey, you, in the bush, what are you doing?

GORDIE: Fidget, stop barking over there. You're scaring Bigfoot. Be very quiet. Hey look! It's a footprint. Look how big it is! I can put two of my feet in it and there's still a lot of room. I'm going to take a picture of it.

FIDGET: There's something in the bush.

GORDIE: Fidget stop barking. You're scaring Bigfoot. What's in that bush?

BIGFOOT: Hello.

GORDIE: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH. It's Bigfoot. Run!

(Gordie runs away from Bigfoot followed by Fidget.)

(Blackout.)

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ACT II

SCENE 1

(The kitchen during the day. The kitchen is still a mess.)

THERESA: I can't believe he didn't take me with him. It's so not fair.

BEVERLY: Mommy, are we going to go find Gordie? What if Bigfoot gets him?

BONNIE: Bigfoot can't get him, because there's no such thing.

THERESA: My mom said that Bigfoot only comes out at night. He doesn't like the sun. So Gordie is definitely safe.

MOTHER: Maybe, but mountain lions don't mind the sun.

GORDIE: (Off:) Ahhh! Bigfoot! Mom!

FIDGET: (Off:) He's chasing us.

(The door bursts open and Gordie runs in slamming it behind him. Fidget is left outside.)

Hey! Don't leave me out here! Help!

MOTHER: Let Fidget in.

(Gordie opens the door for Fidget.)

GORDIE: Fidget, are you okay? Did Bigfoot get you?

MOTHER: Gordie, are you alright?

GORDIE: I saw Bigfoot.

BONNIE: Bigfoot doesn't exist.

THERESA: What does he look like? How tall is he? Did he talk to you?

GORDIE: He was really tall and he chased me.


© Callan Stout



MOTHER: He chased you?

BONNIE: Then where is he?

GORDIE: I don't know. I ran away from him before I could take his picture.

MOTHER: You took my good camera into the woods?

GORDIE: I'm sorry.

MOTHER: You know you're too little to play with the camera.

GORDIE: But I was going to get a picture of Bigfoot.

MOTHER: You still can't take the camera outside.

GORDIE: What if he comes back?

MOTHER: Then I don't want anyone outside.

THERESA: What about for the picnic?

MOTHER: If Bigfoot comes back, the picnic is cancelled.

THERESA: That's ok. I brought a book to read.

GORDIE: If Bigfoot comes back, will you go outside and take a picture of him?

MOTHER: We'll see if he comes back.

GORDIE: Okay.

(Catnap has wandered into the room and is rubbing up against Mother's leg. She then walks over to the door. She wants to go out.)

CATNAP: Open the door. I don't have all day. I need to go use the bush. Hurry up.

THERESA: I think your cat wants to go out.

CATNAP: Good job. That one's smart. Let me out. They are so slow.

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FIDGET: Watch out. Bigfoot is out there.

BEVERLY: I'll let her out.

CATNAP: Bigfoot is just an old Indian legend, Fidget.

FIDGET: Be careful anyway.

(Beverly opens the door for Catnap and leaves it a little open.)

Cats. They think they know everything.

GORDIE: Mom, will you still make brownies?

MOTHER: Of course. Now I want everyone to go find the toys they want to take on the picnic. We should bring a ball and Frisbee.

BONNIE: Can I bring a book?

MOTHER: Yes. I have to buy more brownie mix. So, get your toys together and I'll go back to McGee's. Again.

(The kids go to find the stuff. Fidget follows Gordie. Mother starts to leave. Beverly comes back into the room.)

BEVERLY: Mommy, can you help me find my doll?

MOTHER: Why don't you ask Bonnie? I have to go get the brownie mix. Where'd you last have your doll?

BEVERLY: In my room.

MOTHER: Alright. Why don't you look there? Bonnie, please lock the door behind me.

(Beverly goes back to her room.)

BONNIE: (Off:) Okay.

(Mother leaves to get brownie mix.)


© Callan Stout



(The unlocked door opens, in comes a furry hand. Then a head sticks through to look around. When he sees the coast is clear Bigfoot walks into the kitchen.)

(He looks around and sees the bread sitting on the counter. He tries to open the bag, but can't. Then he rips it open and the sliced bread spills. He picks up one piece and eats it in one bite. He picks up another piece and eats it. Stuffing it in his mouth.)

GORDIE: (Off:) Mom, where's my baseball mitt?

(Bigfoot freezes. He tries to pick up the pieces of bread and stuff them back in the bag.)

BONNIE: (Off:) Mom's not here.

GORDIE: (Off:) Can you help me?

(Bigfoot hides under the table just as Bonnie comes into the kitchen.)

BONNIE: Where are you Gordie?

GORDIE: (Off:) I'm in my room.

(Bonnie exits. Bigfoot sticks his head out from under the table to check if the coast is clear. He goes over to the fridge and opens it. He takes out the milk and drinks some right from the carton. Catnap walks in the open door.)

CATNAP: Now for a nice nap.

(Bigfoot turns around, surprised and scared. He's been caught.)

CATNAP: Who are you and what are you doing in my house?

BIGFOOT: I was hungry and someone said they were making brownies. I like brownies.

CATNAP: Your feet are too big for a cat, and you seem too smart to be a dog, and you're too furry to be a people. You must be the Bigfoot everyone is talking about.

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BIGFOOT: I prefer Sasquatch. "Bigfoot" is insulting. That name comes from people only seeing my footprints.

CATNAP: Well, I'm not a people. I'm a cat. My name is Catnap. Is that milk?

BIGFOOT: Yes.

CATNAP: Would you pour me some? There's a bowl over there.

(Bigfoot pours Catnap some milk.)

Thank you. It's nice to be able to talk to someone. My people don't know how to talk. They're not smart enough. Can you open cans?

BIGFOOT: I think so.

BEVERLY: (Off:) Mommy, I need you.

BONNIE: (Off:) Mom's not here. She left.

BEVERLY: (Off:) Oh yeah. I need something to drink.

BONNIE: (Off:) I'll get you some milk.

CATNAP: Sasquatch, you should hide. I don't think she will want to see you. Bonnie doesn't believe that you exist.

BIGFOOT: I'll go outside.

CATNAP: I'll tell you when the coast is clear, then you can open a food can for me.

(Bigfoot exits. Bonnie enters the kitchen and goes to get some milk. She sees that the milk is all gone.)

BONNIE: I thought we had a lot of milk. Beverly, we don't have any milk. How about water?

BEVERLY: (Off:) Okay.

(Bonnie gets the water and exits. Catnap goes to the door.)


© Callan Stout



CATNAP: Okay, she's gone.

BIGFOOT: Thank you.

CATNAP: The cans are in this shelf. I want a blue one.

BIGFOOT: This one?

CATNAP: Yes, thanks.

(Bigfoot opens the can and gives it to Catnap. Gordie bursts through the door.)

GORDIE: Mom, are you making the brownies?

(Gordie sees Bigfoot and stops.)

Bigfoot!

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