BP4 - Confidence

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How to use hypnosisto build your confidence(so you can rise to any challenge)by Mark Tyrrell

Uncommon Hypnosis Blueprint No4

U n c o m m o n

H y p n o s i s

BLUEPR I N T


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How to use hypnosis to build your condence

Table of Contents

How to use hypnosis to build your condence 4

How hypnosis will help you increase your condence 15

Hypnoc Exercise Feel more condent 16
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Hypnosis Blueprint No 4

How to use hypnosis to build your condence

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2014 Uncommon Knowledge LtdUncommon Hypnosis Blueprint No4 Page 4

How to use hypnosisto build your condence(so you can rise to any challenge)

This Blueprint gives you background informaon and step-by-step instrucons on how

to use your hypnoc skills to develop your condence in yourself and your abilies so

you can shine in your life.

CONFIDENCE is a matter of HABIT.

Its amazing

how quickly you lose it...

if you dont

WORK IT OUTregularly!


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YOU

could probably use

a lile more

self condence

in your life

couldnt you?

Most people, when asked, say they could.


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You have surely heard some version of the ancient Su story of the thirsty lion. Su

stories are said to have many dierent meanings, depending on who is listening, but

one possible interpretaon of this story is that it has something to tell us about the

nature of self condence.

Heres my version.

The guardian of the waters

There was once a young orphan

lion (who had no idea he was a lion)

wandering about in a dry wilderness,

geng ever more thirsty. Having been

separated from the pride when he wasa cub, he had never set eyes on another

lion.

Somemes he wondered if he might

be a sheep, or a goat, but when he

encountered these creatures in his

wanderings he knew he was dierent

from them in some mysterious way.

I must nd water somewhere or Ill die of thirst, he thought to himself.

At last he found a cave and went inside, simply to get some shade from the noonday

heat. To his surprise, there was a pool of water inside the cave and he immediately

went to take his ll and drink.

But what was this? As he bent his head to drink from the pool he was shocked and

horried to see a magnicent yet fearsome creature looking right back at him. A

powerful looking beast, with teeth to match. Not someone to be tried with!

The young lion withdrew hasly.

This must be the guardian of the pool. How am I to drink with that beast guarding the

supply? he asked himself.

He padded around the cave for a while, geng more and more thirsty and desperate.

At last he could stand it no more. Ill have to ght him! he said to himself. And in an

instant he leapt at the creature in the pool, determined to ght it for the water.

Of course, there was no creature there but himself, in reecon.

In this way he both learned what and who he was and found that facing fear could get

him what he so desperately needed.


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One of the greatest benets of having strong self condence is that you retain and

build the energyyou need to pursue your goals.

What do I mean by this?

Energy sapping doubts

It takes huge mental eort to stay anxious, doubt yourself all the me, be self

conscious, try too much to please others, or constantly dread leng people down. Or

yourself down. Its exhausng. Keep it up for long enough and all your mental energy

will leak away.

On the other hand, true self condence isnt about going around thinking how fantasc

you are, because even thattakes energy.

No. Real self condence is not self love, nor anything to do with being self absorbed.

Looking beyond

A real dead end in self help thinking has been the idea that, in order to increase their

self condence, people should focus more on themselves.

But noce our lion.

When he focussed too muchon his

own image, he lost perspecve. His

analysis of the situaon made him

freeze into inacon, and caused him

more fear.

When he gazed too long at himself, he

was just as paralyzed as when he had

had no self awareness at all.

But when he focussed purely on his objecve to get water he nally found the

condence to act. His condence came when he looked beyond himself.

Self forgeng as a way to condence

When I am self condently public speaking to a hundred strangers, I am not focussing

on me and how condent and fantasc I feel (or feel that I am).

When I present condently, I have disappeared. Or should I say, I hasdisappeared.


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Situaons in which I feel supremely condent are not about meat all.

This is a profound point, and I want you to ponder it very carefully.

Great self condence is not the opposite of lowself condence.

People who doubt themselves too much actually tend to focus on themselves much

more than people who are condent. When you have condence, you dont need

to keep telling yourself how wonderful you are, because you are too busy focussing

outward on what you are doing.

Think about this:Condence isnt about bigging yourself up. Its more to do with acng

with opmism, calm, energy andfocus.


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Like this:

A woman goes to a party where shell meet lots of new people. She doesnt

know everyone will like her, but she can relax enough with the uncertainty of

the situaon tofeel comfortable and opmisc.

A man goes for an interview for a job hed love to have. He doesnt know hell

get the job, but he does know hell do the best he can at the interview and even

if he doesnt get the job hell sll be just ne.

A woman goes on a date with a man she is aracted to. She doesnt know for

sure it will go well, but she is relaxed enough to enjoynding out.

TRUE self confidence

isnt about certainty.Its about successfully

and calmly

MANAGING lifes uncertainties.


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If you really want to be condent, culvate the capacity to relax with uncertaines.So

many people, and especially those prone to anxiety and self doubts, just dont do this.

Self condent people (which will mean you)are explorers. They dont assume they

know how something will go, but look forward with a calm open mind to nding out. A

wonderful calm openness to life is key to being condent.

Hypnosis will help you relax more with uncertainty, so you can give things a try in all

kinds of ways.

Hypnosis is all about acvang the imaginaon to make changes on the programming

level of the mind. People somemes inadvertently program themselves with lack of

condence by misusing their imaginaon. Learning to use imaginaon construcvely

(rather than against themselves) can make all the dierence.

Using and not misusing your imaginaon

Our imaginaons can trick us into seeing things that arent there like that coiled

hosepipe we mistake for a snake. Situaons can be interpreted in any number of

ways, not all of them helpful. Some interpretaons ll us with fear and dread. More

construcve interpretaons ll us with quiet ancipaon and opmism. The secret to

unshakable condence is to ensure that our default interpretaon of any situaon is

construcve and helpful.


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To be condent, we dont need to know that a situaon will be good. We need to know

that we will be good, no maer what the situaon.

Its that sense that gives us true, real and lasng condence. People who, ahead of

me, imagine things like: Oh no, what if I fall to pieces and blush when everyone is

looking at me on stage? are misusingtheir imaginaon to undermine their owncondence.

When we use hypnosis to help people, we have themfeeling relaxed and calm,as well

assuper energised and focussed if thats appropriate.

WHEN YOU are differentin a given situation,

that situation becomes DIFFERENT, .

Think about what Ive just said there. It really is important.

Now I want to explain how people negavely condion themselves to lose condence.

Ill show you this so you can

avoid it and

do the opposite

so that you can become more self condent.


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The horror of next Wednesday

Sally is rather prone to misusing her imaginaon for negave self hypnosis.

She goes into work one Friday and her boss tells her the company needs her to give a

short presentaon to y out of town sales reps next Wednesday morning. She has

never spoken to so many people before.

Sally instantly feels terried.

And now, whenever her thoughts turn to next Wednesday, she feels terried. She is

imagining next Wednesday at the same me as feeling scared and powerless.

She keeps doing this. All day Friday, when she goes home, on Saturday, on Sunday

feeling scared at the same me as imagining next Wednesday. This self hypnoc self

torture begins to really work. Prey soon just the words next Wednesday bring on a

post hypnoc surge of automac anxiety.

She has associated the feeling of fear with the imaginaon of next Wednesdays

presentaon so oen that the two have become inextricably linked. Not in her

thinking, but in herfeeling.


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People do this kind of negave self condioning with all kinds of things, from ying in

aeroplanes to going on dates.

Sally was so desperate that on Monday aernoon she came to see me for help (she

must have been really desperate, right? )

What happened with Sally

I suggested to Sally that she was misusing her imaginaon, and rather too eecvely.

Aer hypnosing her, I got her to think about next Wednesday while feeling totally

calm and relaxed. I got her to imagine the talk going really well and her feeling good

about that.

I even suggested that, in the highly unlikely event that the sales reps didnt like her,

she would sll feel relaxed and just do her thing. This was parcularly powerful,

as it touched upon the uncertainty aptude I was menoned earlier the heart of

condence (remember: Whatever happens, Ill be okay.) I helped her re-associate

next Wednesday with calm opmism.

She rang me on Wednesday aernoon, aer the event, and told me that during the

presentaon she had felt, not exactly that she didnt carewhether they liked her talk or

not, but that she wasfocused on something else, on making the company strategy very

clear to them. I found I was actually enjoyingthe process, she said, laughing.


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How hypnosis will help you increase your condence

You will have understood by now that a good part of any lack of condence youmay have felt in dierent situaons in the past may have been due to you praccing

negave self hypnosis. Of course, you never intendedto do that none of us do. And

we are oen unaware that we aredoing it.

But the training in hypnoc skills that you have undertaken will have opened your eyes

to how readily we accept negave suggesons from others and from ourselves and

to how easily we fall into misusing our own imaginaons to frighten ourselves.

When you can spot this happening, in yourself or in others, you are nally in a posion

to change things for the beer.

With hypnosis, you can take specicsituaons in which you were feeling under-

condent and re-associateposive opmiscemoons with exactly those situaons.

The more you do this, the more generally self condent you will become. And the

hypnoc exercise that follows will help you train in the art of nurturing your own

condence.

Idenfy a specic situaon or set of circumstances in which you would like to have

more self condence by which I mean, more of the calm, opmisc feeling that I will

do my best, and whatever happens Ill be okay. And then use this exercise.

This is a much beer way to use self hypnosis (and can be even more powerful) than

the unfortunate negave self hypnosis most people subject themselves to when they

are ancipang a situaon they feel under condent about.

And heres something else.

The more you repeat this exercise, the lessyoull needto repeat it. Because this

approach will just become more of who you are and how you quite naturally deal with

life and its challenges.

So get pracsing!


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HYPNOTIC EXERCISE Feel more condent

1 Find somewhere comfortable andpeaceful to sit or lie, where you knowyou wont be disturbed for a while. Closeyour eyes and start to pay aenonto thesensaon of resng deeper and deeperwith each breath.

2 As your breathing becomes slower andgentler, visualize pure relaxaonas your

favorite color. Noce as the color, yourcolor, soothes its way through the musclebers of your feet, perhaps warming thema lile as you relax deeper.

Watchin your minds eye how that restand relaxaon spreadsup the muscles ofyour legs, and up through your torso, andall over your body as you go deeper intohypnoc trance. Take your me.

3 Gradually become aware of calmlywatchingyourself in a future me,looking relaxed and happy, in a meafera certain kind of situaonin whichyou would previouslyhave felt less thancondent. Maybe you can see yourselfsing in a chair or just resng some place.

4 Noce how pleasedthat future you looksin that future me, aerthat event, sopleasedthat you have added yet anotherthing to your list of condent acviesorsituaons.

Give yourself me to fully registerhowcalmly yet deeply happy you feel aboutthis.

5 Aer absorbing this for some me,redirect your aenonto get a senseof calmly watching yourself, from theoutside, actually beingin that meandplaceand situaon, as it is unfolding,looking so calm and relaxedand focussedin just the right way.

6Noce what it isabout the you there

in that unfolding situaon that letstheyouhere in trance knowthe you thereis completely open and relaxedwithwhatever the situaon brings.

You might noce how other peoplearound are aected by the steadycondence and calm of the you there.

7 Now get a sense of driing forwardsinme and mergingwith that you in thatsituaon, so you can discover what itfeels like from the insideto feel so calmand focused and accepng of everythingthat happens as that situaon unfolds,knowing that whatever occurs, you areokay.

8When your unconscious mind lets you

know that you havelearned everythingyou needfrom this experience, thenallow yourself to dri out of that futuresituaon and oat back into the here andnow.

9 When youre ready, dri out of hypnosisand come back to the room, feelingrested, refreshed and inspired.


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l d dl

This Uncommon Hypnosis Blueprintis part of the Uncommon Hypnosis Course.

You can read more about the course here.

I hope this Blueprint has given you some ideas on how to improve your self condence

and keep it strong, and how to think about self condence in general, not allowing

yourself to fall for the myths that are so widely peddled.

Of course, ulmately life itself is your best teacher (yes, beer than me).

Remember our young lion? He had to go through an experienceand once he had done

that, then he could start to feel much more condent about who he was.

The more you say yes to opportunies, the more you actually try things out, the more

you can replace limited imaginings with reliable knowledge of what is out there for

you.

Youll also nd it helpful to study two other arcles Ive wrien on this subject. One is

How to build self condence, and the other is How to boost your personal power in

two minutes. Youll nd the hints and ps there invaluable. (And yes, it does say two

minutes.)

All my best

Mark
http://www.hypnosisdownloads.com/uncommon-hypnosishttp://www.uncommonhelp.me/articles/how-to-build-self-confidence/http://www.unk.com/blog/boost-your-personal-power-psychology-tip/http://www.unk.com/blog/boost-your-personal-power-psychology-tip/http://www.unk.com/blog/boost-your-personal-power-psychology-tip/http://www.unk.com/blog/boost-your-personal-power-psychology-tip/http://www.uncommonhelp.me/articles/how-to-build-self-confidence/http://www.hypnosisdownloads.com/uncommon-hypnosis

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BP4 - Confidence