Bloom Psychology - SoL Boat Exercise (Part 2)

8/14/2019 Bloom Psychology - SoL Boat Exercise (Part 2)

http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/bloom-psychology-sol-boat-exercise-part-2 1/19

Who’s

in

chargeof your

boat?

By Rob Archer –

Bloom Psychology Ltd

mailto:[email protected]






So, where were we?During our exercise at the School of Life, we discussed some important things:

1. We explored some possible values, or directions in life, important to you.

2. You evaluated your current position and how happy you were with your

direction.

3. We discussed some possible actions to move you forward by 1 point.

This is a good place to start, and hopefully, you can develop each of these further.

But we left on a cliffhanger; what about the sailing boat and the passengers you

were carrying?

If you feel anxious when you think about changing career, then you are not alone.

Anxiety is a natural part of any change.

However, if you feel almost paralysed by this fear, then I’d encourage you to

complete the second half of the exercise.

The purpose of this half of the exercise is to ask one simple question:

Who’s steering your boat?

http://www.theschooloflife.com/

http://www.theschooloflife.com/



Career decisions are based on what

happens by chance (e.g. scanning

the job ads). They often feel grateful just to have a

job. They follow expectations. They make decisions for instrumental

reasons – i.e. because they think /hope this job will lead somewhere

better in future. Their attitude is: “I fell into it”

How do people make career

decisions?

They can DRIFT

http://www.flickr.com/photos/aussiegall/2238073479/



...or they can navigate

Career decisions are based on an

awareness of themselves and their

situation. They focus on what they value most. They understand what unique solutions

they can and want to provide (and how) They select the career or employers that

are most appropriate for them. They make decisions for fundamental

reasons – i.e. because they think

something is inherently valuable. Their attitude is: “I chose it”



Drifting isn’t a ‘bad’ way of making career decisions, but to find a really

meaningful job it risks falling prey to some of the decision making biases we’ve

already discussed. Over the long term, it doesn’t stack the odds in your favour.

Navigating is just a metaphor for expressing a way of making a decision which

accommodates some of our human frailties. Although it doesn’t mean you’ll find a

perfect job, it does make it more likely. It will certainly ensure that you make your

next decision consciously, and with purpose.



Before we begin...

To what extent do you agree with the following statements:

1.No matter how difficult my circumstances, I have decisions to make about

my career.

2.Not making a decision is still a decision.3.Given that time is limited, drifting is a poor long-term strategy.

4.Thinking about a career change is difficult and sometimes unpleasant.

5.Putting it off til I’m less tired / stressed etc often seems attractive.

If you found yourself broadly agreeing with these statements then we’d

encourage you to make the choice to begin the exercise.



1. IntroductionSee if this video resonates with you. (You’ll need an active internet connection for it to work).



A demon represents a negative thought, memory, association or feeling which rears its

head when you begin to think about career change. Some common examples of

career change demons include:

2. Who are your demons?

1. I’m too old to change career

2. I can’t change career because I need to provide security for my family

3. There’s no way I can reinvent myself after X years as a Y!

4. I don’t know what I want from life

5. This exercise is totally irrelevant!

6. I’m hopeless – I can’t even get this right!

7. I’ll tackle this another time, when I’m less tired / thinking more clearly

8. I need to feel more confident before I can do anything

9. My self esteem is at an all-time low

10. My values conflict with each other – I need to pull myself together



1. What are the main thoughts you notice when you think about your career

change, or try to move in the direction you value?• • • •

•

2. Who are your demons?

2. What are the main emotions you notice when you think about your career

change, or try to move in the direction you value?• •

• • •

If this proves difficult, don’t worry. Just try to sit with it for a while. What are the blocks that hold

you back from making progress in thinking about your career? Note the negative thoughts that

occur to you and the unpleasant emotions that arise. Take your time. This isn’t a test.



The chess game

rarely ends in a

result. It rarely

resolves the issue

or brings clarity

about what best to

do.

3. Thinking about thoughts

Worse, when we focus

our attention on the

debate we get caught

up in our thoughts.

And all the while we

continue to drift.

Let’s take one of those nasty demons and examine it. Suppose I am doing this exercise and my

mind gives me: I’m hopeless – I can’t even get this right!

Setting aside the issue of whether this thought is truthful, this thought is not particularly useful.It does not shed any light on the decision that you still have to make or what you could do about

it.

Yet your mind loves to debate this type of issue. If you allow it, it will give you arguments for and

against the ‘I’m hopeless’ story all day long. Think of it like a chess game. The mind advances a

positive thought, but this is countered with a negative, and so on.



Instead of trying to counter negative thoughts, or argue with them, you can begin

moving towards your values and getting into action right now.

Instead of you being in the chess game, you can simply pick the whole board up,

with all the pieces, and start moving in a direction you value. You aren’t the pieces,

you’re the board.

3. A new way of thinking about thoughts

Begin by just noticing the thought. Don’t try to get rid of it, but see it for what it is;

just a thought.

Then try to ask the following questions of thoughts that repeatedly pop into your

head:

• Is this thought useful?

• Does it help me in the long term to develop a rich and meaningful life?

If the answer is no, then simply notice it, and make the choice to keep moving

towards your values with committed actions.

How?

Noticing your thoughts is a simple exercise in a proven technique called

cognitive defusion.



Pick a thought that your mind often tells you in relation to your career change.

‘I am X’ (for example ‘I’m incompetent’ or ‘I’m not good enough’).

Is this thought helpful? Does it motivate you?

3. An Exercise in Cognitive Defusion

If not, take this thought and in front of it place the words:

‘I’m having the thought that I’m X’

For example, ‘I’m having the thought that I’m incompetent’.

Try saying this to yourself now.

Then, go further and say:

‘I notice I’m having the thought that I’m X’

You can use this process with any unpleasant thought. This process is known as

defusion.

In a state of fusion, thoughts seem like the absolute truth and something to be

debated. In a state of defusion they are merely bits of language which may be useful

to living a valued life, or not.



Imagine you’re climbing a mountain and

you’re halfway up. Suddenly, the clouds

roll in and it starts to rain.

4. Willingness as an alternative

If you are contemplating a big change, you will experience some emotional

discomfort. You can face this challenge by asking yourself what your goal is,

what the values underlying the goal are and what thoughts, feelings and urges

you are willing to have in order to complete this goal.

You have two choices. You can either

head back down or you can carry on.

If you carry on, it is not because you

like the feeling of being cold and wet.

It is because you value the idea of

reaching the top. In other words, you

are willing to experience some

difficulties to do what you really value.



4. Willingness as an alternativeI often think about my own levels of willingness. When I was making my own career change I remember a

pattern I repeated for about 5 years:

The difference was immense. I realised I was willing to experience negative thoughts and emotions if it meant

doing the things that I valued.

For the first time in a long time it was me, not my thoughts, steering my ship.

In the end I tried a different approach.

•What’s my goal? I want to find a career I love, find my purpose.

•Which values underlie my goal? To do meaningful work, but which also gives me some level of status.•What actions could I take to follow these values? Firstly, define what I mean by ‘meaningful’ and ‘status’

and second, generate some real-life options rather than just thinking vague thoughts.

•What feelings and thoughts am I willing to have to reach this goal? Virtually anything! None of the

thoughts can harm me or stop me unless I get caught up in them.

http://bloomblogrob.blogspot.com/2010/01/myth-1-staying-in-my-crap-job-is-real.html

http://bloomblogrob.blogspot.com/2010/01/myth-1-staying-in-my-crap-job-is-real.html





The negative thoughts and emotions I expect to experience in

pursuit of my vision are...

4. An Exercise In Willingness

. Type some of your scariest or most persistent passengers here...

Be clear about your willingness here....

How will you remember this commitment?

At difficult times, it would be useful to remind myself that....

The thoughts, emotions and sensations I’m willing to have in order toachieve this goal are....



Rather than pursuing happiness, we recommend the following approach:

1.Identify some values that are really important to you in the long term.

2.Make sure they your values. There should be no ‘oughts’ in there.

3.Think about some goals or actions that represent these values.

4.Notice the thoughts and emotions that accompany these actions.

5.Practice willingness

6.Get into action.

Final Word

It’s where you steer with your hands, not your mind, that will determine

whether you live a valued, meaningful life.

It is a willingness to experience negative thoughts and emotions in

pursuit of these values that will liberate you.



Bloom Psychology is an

independent occupational

psychology consultancy based

in London.We offer coaching,

consultancy, training,

measurement and assessment

to individuals and businesses

looking to make a change for the better.

www.bloompsychology.comwww.linkedin.com/robarche



Acknowledgments

1. Many of the ideas and exercises in our materials based are on

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT).ACT is a branch of cognitive-behavioral therapy, an empirically based psychological

intervention that uses acceptance and mindfulness strategies together with commitment

and behavior change strategies to increase psychological flexibility.

2. ACT is a user-friendly way of dealing with negative emotionsACT uses practical techniques and metaphors to ensure it is practical and easy to

understand. ACT is a way not so much of ‘tackling’ negative thoughts and emotions but

rather renegotiating someone’s relationship with them.

3. ACT is an evidence-based therapyAs psychologists, we’re always concerned to know that the exercises and techniques we use

have solid evidence behind them. ACT has a solid evidence base across a wide range of

treatment interventions – anxiety, stress, depression. Bloom Psychology is pioneering its usewithin the career psychology area.

4. Further readingWe recommend The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris and Get Out Of Your Mind by Steve

Hayes for those who want to find out more about using ACT in everyday life.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive-behavioral_therapy

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acceptance

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mindfulness_%28psychology%29

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mindfulness_%28psychology%29

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acceptance

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive-behavioral_therapy

Documents

Bloom Psychology - SoL Boat Exercise (Part 2)