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Between Heaven & the Real World
My Story
STEVEN CURTIS CHAPMAN
WITH KEN ABRAHAM
O(Unpublished manuscript—copyright protected Baker Publishing Group)
Steven Curtis Chapman with Ken Abraham, Between Heaven & the Real WorldRevell Books, a division of Baker Publishing Group, © 2017. Used by permission.
© 2017 by Steven Curtis Chapman
Published by Revella division of Baker Publishing GroupP.O. Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287www.revellbooks.com
Printed in the United States of America
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—for example, electronic, photocopy, recording—without the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication DataNames: Chapman, Steven Curtis, author.Title: Between heaven and the real world : my story / Steven Curtis Chapman with Ken
Abraham.Description: Grand Rapids : Revell, 2016. | Includes bibliographical references.Identifiers: LCCN 2016045647 | ISBN 9780800726881 (cloth) | ISBN 9780800727642
(ITPE)Subjects: LCSH: Chapman, Steven Curtis. | Contemporary Christian musicians—United
States—Biography. | Christian biography—United States.Classification: LCC ML420.C4537 A3 2016 | DDC 782.42164092 [B] —dc23LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2016045647
Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture quotations are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Ver-sion® (ESV®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved. ESV Text Edition: 2011
Scripture quotations labeled KJV are from the King James Version of the Bible.
Scripture quotations labeled Message are from THE MESSAGE. Copyright © by Eugene H. Peterson 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress. All rights reserved. Represented by Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.
Scripture quotations labeled NASB are from the New American Standard Bible®, copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. (www.Lockman.org)
Scripture quotations labeled NIV are from the Holy Bible, New International Version®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com
Published in association with Creative Trust, Inc., 210 Jamestown Park Drive, Suite 200, Brent-wood, TN 37027, www.creativetrust.com.
TAYLOR GUITARS® and the guitar peghead, pickguard, and bridge design are registered trademarks of Taylor-Listug, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
17 18 19 20 21 22 23 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
(Unpublished manuscript—copyright protected Baker Publishing Group)
Steven Curtis Chapman with Ken Abraham, Between Heaven & the Real WorldRevell Books, a division of Baker Publishing Group, © 2017. Used by permission.
To the one who has journeyed
faithfully and fiercely at my side
on this amazing adventure . . . so far . . .
my bride, Mary Beth.
I love you, always and forever.
(Unpublished manuscript—copyright protected Baker Publishing Group)
Steven Curtis Chapman with Ken Abraham, Between Heaven & the Real WorldRevell Books, a division of Baker Publishing Group, © 2017. Used by permission.
Steven Curtis Chapman with Ken Abraham, Between Heaven & the Real WorldRevell Books, a division of Baker Publishing Group, © 2017. Used by permission.
99
Contents
Prologue: The Wild Mouse 11
1. Carnegie Hall Y’all 19
2. Unresolved Chords 29
3. A Transformed Family 47
4. Showtime! 67
5. A Little Tribute to George 79
6. The Call 91
7. Red Lobster and a Blue Speedo 97
8. Fifty Dollars and a Green Ford Pinto 113
9. The Cool Kids and a Country Boy 129
10. Divorce Is Not an Option 143
11. More to This Life 155
12. It’s an Honor Just to Be Nominated 167
13. Tears for Cheers 179
14. Breakdown 187
15. His Strength Is Perfect 199
16. A Road Called Adoption 211
17. Tuesday’s Child 223
(Unpublished manuscript—copyright protected Baker Publishing Group)
Steven Curtis Chapman with Ken Abraham, Between Heaven & the Real WorldRevell Books, a division of Baker Publishing Group, © 2017. Used by permission.
10
STEVEN CURTIS CHAPMAN
18. Two Trips to Prison 231
19. God Follower 243
20. The Tattoo 253
21. With Hope 263
22. Never Say Never 281
23. Maria 289
24. Cinderella 299
25. Does God Really Have a Big, Big House? 311
26. The Ladybug That Lost Its Dots 319
27. The Accident 325
28. Clarity 339
29. The Land of the Living 353
30. Waiting and Watching for Beauty to Rise 369
31. Maria’s Big House of Hope 379
32. Step by Step 391
33. Together 403
34. New Beginnings 413
35. A Glorious Unfolding 425
Acknowledgments 431
Notes 433
(Unpublished manuscript—copyright protected Baker Publishing Group)
Steven Curtis Chapman with Ken Abraham, Between Heaven & the Real WorldRevell Books, a division of Baker Publishing Group, © 2017. Used by permission.
11
Prologue
The Wild Mouse
When I was a little blond-haired boy, my older brother, Herbie,
and I loved to go to Noble Park, a 135-acre picturesque pub-
lic property that includes a five-acre lake in my hometown
of Paducah, Kentucky. It was a great place where families could take young
children, play on the playgrounds, have a picnic, feed the fish, maybe get
chased by a goose, and just enjoy the beauty of nature.
Years later, in the gazebo of that same park, I would kneel down before
a beautiful young lady named Mary Beth, who’d stolen my heart, and ask
her to be my wife.
As a boy, one of my favorite things about the park was the section called
Funland, a small amusement park that was home to cotton candy and pop-
corn stands as well as several kids’ thrill rides, like the ones you’d find at a
county fair, that operated all summer long. Herbie was especially fond of
the helicopter ride. Each helicopter held two passengers and had a control
bar that you pulled back and forth to cause the helicopter to rise or drop as
it circled around a large stationary pole. If you pulled the bar toward you,
the helicopter soared higher, and if you pushed the bar away from you, the
helicopter eased down lower, similar to the Dumbo ride at Disney World.
(Unpublished manuscript—copyright protected Baker Publishing Group)
Steven Curtis Chapman with Ken Abraham, Between Heaven & the Real WorldRevell Books, a division of Baker Publishing Group, © 2017. Used by permission.
12
STEVEN CURTIS CHAPMAN
As soon as Herbie and I climbed inside the helicopter, my brother pulled
on the bar and the helicopter zoomed straight up as high as it could go. The
attendant punched the start button, and the helicopter began going round
and round. I screamed the whole time, terrified of heights, and tried to push
the bar away as Herbie, always the thrill seeker, pulled it back, laughing the
whole time with that evil big brother laugh.
I got off the helicopter, took several deep breaths to calm myself down, and
searched out the little train that slowly chugged around the park. That was
more my speed. We’d chug past the Haunted House and the Tilt-a-Whirl, and
I’d reaffirm my commitment never again to step foot on that crazy spinning
death trap. If you can’t tell, I was a bit of a safety-conscious young fella—a
condition my brother found great joy in exploiting when given the opportunity.
Then life changed for all of us in Paducah the day the Wild Mouse ar-
rived at Noble Park. It was our town’s first roller coaster. I hadn’t ridden
the Wild Mouse yet and had no intention of doing so—even Herbie wasn’t
sure about this one—but all my friends were talking about it. As I listened
to their stories, I could only imagine the horror of that speeding coaster.
“Man, that thing is terrifying . . . you drop down this hill, and you twist
and turn, and I thought I was gonna fall out for sure!”
I’d never been to an actual amusement park, where real roller coasters
ripped and roared around the track, so I didn’t know the difference. I had
never experienced a “grown-up” roller coaster. All I knew from the stories
I’d heard was if I valued my life, I should stay completely clear of the Wild
Mouse . . . so I did . . . for a while.
In actuality, the Wild Mouse was a little roller coaster car that could
carry four kids, followed by a few other cars, going around on a short track
that had some small dips, bumps, and slight inclines. The cars weren’t even
connected but ran in sequence.
I should have known better. After all, the ride was named the Wild
Mouse, not the Wild Dragon or the Wild Lion. It was the Wild Mouse, for
cryin’ out loud.
(Unpublished manuscript—copyright protected Baker Publishing Group)
Steven Curtis Chapman with Ken Abraham, Between Heaven & the Real WorldRevell Books, a division of Baker Publishing Group, © 2017. Used by permission.
13
Between Heaven and the Real World
Finally, the day came to face my deepest fears and stare death in the face
of the Wild Mouse. I boarded with a prayer, and the ride began. I twisted
and turned and dipped and bumped, screaming and laughing the whole time
. . . and lived to tell about it! And if you had asked me back then, “Steven,
have you ever ridden on a roller coaster?” I would have pumped my chest
and replied, “Oh yeah. I’ve ridden on the Wild Mouse!”
Fast-forward a few years later to when our uncle Barry took Herbie and
me to St. Louis on Uniform Day at Busch Stadium. Once a year on that
special day, kids could get in free to the St. Louis Cardinals Major League
Baseball game if they wore their Little League uniforms, so Herbie and I
packed up our Concord Lions uniforms and our ball gloves with hopes of
catching a foul ball and headed to the big city of St. Louis. Uncle Barry did
it up big-time. We stayed overnight at a fancy downtown hotel, went up
in the St. Louis Arch, went to the ballgame in our uniforms, and ate hot
dogs. Then the next day we went to a huge theme park, Six Flags Over
Mid-America, known today as Six Flags Over St. Louis.
We rode a lot of the rides and were having a great time. Then we got in
line for the Screamin’ Eagle—a real roller coaster, and not just any roller
coaster. Oh no. When the Screamin’ Eagle opened in time for America’s
bicentennial celebration in 1976, the three-minute thrill ride was billed as
the highest roller coaster in the world—with peaks up to 110 feet high—and
the fastest coaster—with speeds of 62 miles per hour. Located at the back
of the park on a bit of a hill, the white wooden track was even more awe
inspiring thanks to the cars decorated in red, white, and blue.
I was ready for it. After all, I’d ridden the Wild Mouse!
Herbie, Uncle Barry, and I squeezed into one of the cars after the
Scream in’ Eagle idled into the station . . . this didn’t look so scary. I was
perfectly fine . . . until the roller coaster starting moving. Like most coasters,
the Screamin’ Eagle chugged slowly out of the station, then began inching
up the incline, up and up, higher and higher, with the clackity-clack of
the wheels on the wooden track sounding more ominous every moment.
(Unpublished manuscript—copyright protected Baker Publishing Group)
Steven Curtis Chapman with Ken Abraham, Between Heaven & the Real WorldRevell Books, a division of Baker Publishing Group, © 2017. Used by permission.
Herbie and me all suited up and ready for a St. Louis Cardinals game.
Steven Curtis Chapman with Ken Abraham, Between Heaven & the Real WorldRevell Books, a division of Baker Publishing Group, © 2017. Used by permission.
15
Between Heaven and the Real World
The view was fantastic, but the higher we ascended, the more my mind
screamed, What have I gotten myself into!
We finally reached the top, and our car seemed to teeter there pre cariously
for a second, or at least long enough for me to gasp for one last breath,
and then whoosh! The Screamin’ Eagle lived up to its name, whisking us
around a U-turn and then straight down, jolting, twisting, and turning as
it went! I heard sounds of screaming all right, but it wasn’t the eagle that
was screaming. It was me . . . screaming like a little girl. It was downright
embarrassing, but I didn’t care because I was sure this was the end.
The coaster careened around another turn and down another drop, and
then another, and kept on going, tossing us first one way and then the next,
with the wheels screeching loudly through every turn. The coaster track
ran close to a forest with trees right alongside the railing, and at one point,
it looked as though we were going to smack right into a couple of branches
dangling out over the track. But just a second or two before we became
“one” with the branches, the coaster dove down a hill, causing us to miss
the limbs, but my stomach was still hanging up there in the trees! The
Screamin’ Eagle kept right on screaming. My heart was pounding, and my
face was red. My body lurching one way and then another, I was holding on
for dear life. I was sure I was gonna fly right out of my seat at any moment.
Herbie was going crazy, whoopin’ and hollerin’ (a thing we do in Ken-
tucky when we’re having the time of our life), his hands in the sky, lovin’
every minute of it! And Uncle Barry was laughing all the way. Just about
the time I thought I was going to lose my breakfast, as well as everything
I’d eaten for the past few days, the coaster raced down several more hills,
slowed slightly, and then slammed on the brakes, coming to an abrupt stop,
pitching all three of us forward in our seat and then slamming us back
again with a thud.
Dazed, I climbed out of the roller coaster car and staggered off the sta-
tion platform, trying to catch my balance and look strong in front of all the
other kids watching in wonder, waiting to get on the ride.
(Unpublished manuscript—copyright protected Baker Publishing Group)
Steven Curtis Chapman with Ken Abraham, Between Heaven & the Real WorldRevell Books, a division of Baker Publishing Group, © 2017. Used by permission.
16
STEVEN CURTIS CHAPMAN
I felt pretty good about myself. After all, I had survived the Screamin’
Eagle!
The Screamin’ Eagle was behind me, and I had conquered it. It was awe-
some! And best of all, it was over. I wasn’t about to get back in line for that
ride! But you can bet all my buddies back home were gonna hear about how
I took the Screamin’ Eagle by the tail feathers and showed it who was boss!
Before my Screamin’ Eagle experience, I thought I had been on a roller
coaster, but this was a whole different journey. Yeah, I’d been on a roller
coaster—I’d been on the Wild Mouse. Life is like that . . . I know mine
certainly has been. You live through “wild ride” experiences with some
tremendous highs, some horrible lows, some hand-raising moments of ex-
ultation, and some gut-wrenching twists and turns . . . the cheers and the
tears, like the experiences, are very real and valid. But then things or some
thing happens that takes you far higher and much deeper than you could’ve
ever imagined. And you realize that your Wild Mouse journey has suddenly
jumped the tracks onto the Screamin’ Eagle.
A songwriter once wrote these words: “We’ll travel over mountains so
high, we’ll go through valleys so low. Still through it all we’ll find that this
is the greatest journey the human heart will ever see. The love of God will
take us far beyond our wildest dreams.” Okay, I confess that songwriter
was me and the song was “The Great Adventure.” Even as I wrote those
words, I had already experienced higher mountains and deeper valleys
than I could’ve ever imagined as a boy riding those roller coasters. And I
certainly had no idea how much higher and deeper the journey was going
to take me. I’d love to take you on some of that journey with me, if you’d
like to come along.
I’m humbled and grateful that you’d take the time to pick up this book,
and I have to confess that even as I was writing it, I wrestled with whether
my story is something I would want to ask people to take time to listen to
or read. After all, my story isn’t any more important or worthwhile than
anyone else’s just because I’ve had my picture on album covers and I’ve won
(Unpublished manuscript—copyright protected Baker Publishing Group)
Steven Curtis Chapman with Ken Abraham, Between Heaven & the Real WorldRevell Books, a division of Baker Publishing Group, © 2017. Used by permission.
17
Between Heaven and the Real World
a few music awards. It is my story, however, and maybe by reading it you
might be reminded of the importance of your own story.
While I’ve woven my life and my story into the songs I’ve written all
these years, my desire has always been to tell the bigger story of God’s
grace and His faithfulness. With my prayer being, “God, I want to know
You and I want to make You known with the gifts You’ve given me and
the life I live,” my songs have always come from the places in my journey
where I’ve seen more of who God is and more of my need for Him. I want
to tell honest stories and sing songs about how God shows up in our “real
world.” So that’s what my hope and prayer is for this book as well, that as
I share with you my journey over the mountains and through the valleys,
you might find encouragement for your own journey and be reminded of
what’s most true as we travel this journey together . . . between heaven and
the real world.
(Unpublished manuscript—copyright protected Baker Publishing Group)
Steven Curtis Chapman with Ken Abraham, Between Heaven & the Real WorldRevell Books, a division of Baker Publishing Group, © 2017. Used by permission.
Enjoying a “heavenly experience” on the stage of Carnegie Hall.
Steven Curtis Chapman with Ken Abraham, Between Heaven & the Real WorldRevell Books, a division of Baker Publishing Group, © 2017. Used by permission.
19
Chapter One
Carnegie Hall Y’all
The sun was turning the freshly fallen snow to slush under my feet
as I walked the familiar sidewalks of New York City on a clear
February day. As a boy running through cow pastures to my
favorite fishing spot, I never imagined I’d stroll the streets of the Big Apple
someday, much less have so many memories come flooding back as I did.
“There’s the intersection at Times Square where we did an outdoor photo
shoot for The Great Adventure album” . . . “There’s Radio City Music Hall,
where I won my first Grammy” . . . “There’s the famous deli where one
of my musical heroes, Ricky Skaggs, introduced me to another musical
hero, Michael McDonald of the Doobie Brothers” . . . “There’s that Ital-
ian restaurant that doesn’t take credit cards where I had to leave my wife,
Mary Beth, waiting alone as collateral while I went to get cash to pay for
our meal” . . .
Then I turned the corner and saw something I’d never seen, and never
in my wildest dreams thought I would.
“Tonight in Concert . . . Steven Curtis Chapman on Stage at Carnegie
Hall.”
Carnegie Hall! Are you serious? I’m really playing Carnegie Hall tonight? This
is crazy!
A few minutes later, I stepped onto one of the most prestigious stages in
the world for a sound check prior to my performance later that evening. I
(Unpublished manuscript—copyright protected Baker Publishing Group)
Steven Curtis Chapman with Ken Abraham, Between Heaven & the Real WorldRevell Books, a division of Baker Publishing Group, © 2017. Used by permission.
20
STEVEN CURTIS CHAPMAN
walked over to the edge of the stage to get a feel for the room and gazed in
awe at the five tiers of red-velvet seats in front of me. The main floor was
surrounded on three sides by four ornate, golden balconies. Each balcony
was lined with decorative lights, with a rotunda-style ceiling illuminated
in a circle of lights shining like stars inside the theater. The iconic concert
hall was somewhat smaller and more “intimate” than I had anticipated, but
everything about it felt majestic.
I took a deep breath and thought, Pavarotti has sung here! What in the world
am I doing standing on this stage? How does a boy from Paducah find himself
playing his music at Carnegie Hall, in the legendary Isaac Stern Auditorium,
where incredible artists such as Frank Sinatra, the Beatles, Stevie Wonder,
Bob Dylan, and Liza Minnelli have performed? The first person to conduct
an orchestra at Carnegie Hall, way back in 1891, was none other than the
world’s greatest composer at the time, Pyotr Ilich Tchaikovsky!
Although I was far from a Tchaikovsky, I wasn’t exactly a newbie either.
By the time I walked onto that famous platform in February 2014, I had
been working in the music business for more than thirty years. I’d been
singing professionally from my solo debut at a gathering around a swim-
ming pool, to sold-out concerts in arenas around America and on stages
around the world, giant music festivals with tens of thousands of people out
under the stars, and even performances on platforms with Reverend Billy
Graham before massive crowds. I had performed thousands of concerts. Yet
despite my years of experience, performing in Carnegie Hall was certainly
a pinnacle in my career and an experience I would remember for the rest
of my life. I was very excited . . . and very nervous!
Part of the reason for my nervous excitement was the fact that not only
would most of the twenty-eight hundred seats in the venue be filled that
night but the stage would also be filled with a fifty-piece orchestra and a
three-hundred-voice choir behind me. Over the years of my career, I had
occasionally performed a song or two live with an orchestra, but my band
and I had never done an entire concert accompanied by a full symphony
(Unpublished manuscript—copyright protected Baker Publishing Group)
Steven Curtis Chapman with Ken Abraham, Between Heaven & the Real WorldRevell Books, a division of Baker Publishing Group, © 2017. Used by permission.
21
Between Heaven and the Real World
and a choir, the orchestra playing my songs with arrangements I had never
performed in public before. The whole idea was a bit intimidating.
I had rehearsed with the choir the day before, so I knew what that felt
like. I was scheduled to rehearse with the orchestra later that afternoon;
then it would be lights up and let’s go!
As a performer, playing a major venue in New York City always pro-
duces added tension because of the many stipulations strictly enforced by
the theaters. If ever there was a place where “time is money,” it would be
a concert hall in the Big Apple. Our show was scheduled to run no longer
than 120 minutes . . . not even one minute longer. If I happened to talk
too much—as I’ve been known to do on occasion—or play a few minutes
overtime—which I’m somewhat famous for—an additional few thousand
dollars would be added to the cost of the night. Still, I knew that staying
within my preestablished, ironclad time frame was going to be a challenge
for me. This was bound to be a very emotional evening, with my set list
full of songs that had special meaning to me and an opportunity to perform
them live in a way I never had before. Added to that, my wife, Mary Beth,
and my entire family would be sitting in the audience cheering me on for
this milestone performance.
Most major New York auditoriums are staffed by professional stagehands,
sound and lighting staff, and crew members whom artists are required to
use to cart their equipment and merchandise in and out of the venue. All
of these pros are union workers who tenaciously guard their areas of re-
sponsibility, and may God help the naïve musician who decides to move
his own microphone or amplifier!
“Hey, put that down! That’s my job,” a hard-nosed union hand will
shout forcefully.
“Um, yes, sir,” is the only correct response.
Dressed entirely in black, the union guys are typically not too concerned
with trying to be our buddies. Their attitude is, “We’ll do our job, and you
do yours, and we’ll all get along fine and make this work.” Some of them
(Unpublished manuscript—copyright protected Baker Publishing Group)
Steven Curtis Chapman with Ken Abraham, Between Heaven & the Real WorldRevell Books, a division of Baker Publishing Group, © 2017. Used by permission.
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STEVEN CURTIS CHAPMAN
can be downright scary as they hover around offstage, checking cables,
resetting lights, or otherwise setting up for the show.
My band members and I began our sound check before the orchestra ar-
rived, and I started to play and sing “Spring Is Coming,” a song that wasn’t
typically in the set list for my normal concerts but one I was particularly
excited about performing that night. Already the emotions started to well
up inside me as I blinked back the tears, partly because I was singing onstage
at Carnegie Hall and could imagine what it was going to sound like with
three hundred voices and fifty orchestral instruments joining me in just a
few hours, but mostly because of the significance of the song and what it
meant to be standing on this stage singing it.
We planted the seed while the tears of our grief soaked the ground
The sky lost its sun and the world lost its green to lifeless brown
Now the chill in the wind has turned the earth as hard as stone
And silent the seed lies beneath ice and snow
And my heart’s heavy now but I’m not letting go
Of this hope I have that tells me
Spring is coming, Spring is coming
And all we’ve been hoping and longing for soon will appear
Spring is coming, Spring is coming
It won’t be long now, it’s just about here.
Almost six years had passed since the events took place that had led me
to write that song.
It was May 24 of 2008, three days after our youngest daughter, Maria,
had passed away as the result of a tragic accident in our driveway. My family
and I had arrived at Williamson Memorial Gardens in Franklin, Tennessee,
and walked to the spot Mary Beth and I had selected just two days earlier to
be the place where the body of our little girl was to be buried. You could
smell the fresh dirt as we took our seats. Our hearts were so heavy that we
could hardly breathe.
(Unpublished manuscript—copyright protected Baker Publishing Group)
Steven Curtis Chapman with Ken Abraham, Between Heaven & the Real WorldRevell Books, a division of Baker Publishing Group, © 2017. Used by permission.
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Between Heaven and the Real World
Many of our friends gathered around, and our pastor, Scotty Smith,
began to speak. He talked about this day being a day of planting . . . plant-
ing a seed that was the body of Maria. He read 1 Corinthians 15, verses
42 through 44.
What is sown is perishable; what is raised is imperishable. It is sown in dis-
honor; it is raised in glory. It is sown in weakness; it is raised in power. It is
sown a natural body; it is raised a spiritual body.
He talked about how a seed first falls to the ground and dies in order
to come back to life . . . how we must plant a seed and wait. He reminded
us that because of Jesus’s resurrection from the dead and His promise of
our coming resurrection, this perishable seed of Maria’s body that we were
planting is going to be raised imperishable. He talked about the promised
“Spring” that is coming when all things will be made new according to
God’s own promise. He reminded us of the hopeful words of Revelation
21 and the coming day when God will wipe every tear from our eyes.
Somehow we were able to grasp God’s promise not fully—not even close
to fully—but just enough that we were able to drop handfuls of dirt on the
casket that day believing that the story of Maria’s life was far from over
. . . that there is in fact a Spring that is coming when we really will see her
again . . . more alive than ever. That day we were able to catch a glimpse
of heaven in our very real world, a glimpse we desperately needed, and the
hope it gave me inspired the song “Spring Is Coming.”
Now during the sound check at Carnegie Hall, after singing through
an emotional verse and chorus of that song, I noticed a commotion on the
side of the stage. Several big, burly stage crew guys were gathered around
a man who was down on one knee on the floor. They had their hands on
the back and shoulders of the man who had knelt down, and he appeared
to be crying.
We cut short the sound check, and I went over to the men, thinking that
perhaps somebody was hurt or something else was wrong. “Is everything
(Unpublished manuscript—copyright protected Baker Publishing Group)
Steven Curtis Chapman with Ken Abraham, Between Heaven & the Real WorldRevell Books, a division of Baker Publishing Group, © 2017. Used by permission.
24
STEVEN CURTIS CHAPMAN
okay?” I asked. I looked at the man on his knees, his face still wet with
tears. “Are you all right?”
He looked up at me and quietly said, “I have one of those stories.” He
slowly stood to his feet. “My wife and I lost a little girl too,” he explained.
Right in front of his fellow crew members, he and I hugged.
His name was Scooter, and he was the main house sound guy at Carn-
egie Hall. He began to tell me about the hard struggle he and his wife had
endured since they had lost their daughter several years earlier. Even with
their strong faith as Christians, the hurt and grief had been agonizing. I
knew all too well what he was talking about.
“My wife and I went to your concert at Nokia Theater in Times Square a
few years ago,” Scooter said, “when you did the tour with your wife speak-
ing and your sons playing in your band. That night your wife shared how
she was afraid to let go of the grief because, if she did, she would lose that
connection with Maria. Hearing another grieving mother share that was a
real breakthrough for my wife, and that concert had a profound effect on us.”
He explained how at the Nokia concert they bought Mary Beth’s book,
Choosing to SEE, and my album, Beauty Will Rise, which they listened to on
their way home that night. When they heard “Spring Is Coming,” they were
moved to tears. That song in particular, Scooter told me, was instrumental
in helping to bring some deep healing to their hearts. Later, his wife read
Mary Beth’s book, and that too was a huge step toward helping them heal.
He said he felt like God had orchestrated this concert at Carnegie Hall as a
gift to encourage him and to help him continue the healing process.
I put my arm around Scooter, prayed with him, and thanked him for
sharing his story with me. Then both of us went back to work.
A few minutes before 7:00 p.m. I took my place on the side of the stage
and listened as the orchestra began its preconcert tuning ritual. My heart was
racing, and I peeked out to see a full house as well as a full stage of singers
and musicians. This is really getting ready to happen! While the orchestra was
filled with professional musicians who had been hired for the concert, the
(Unpublished manuscript—copyright protected Baker Publishing Group)
Steven Curtis Chapman with Ken Abraham, Between Heaven & the Real WorldRevell Books, a division of Baker Publishing Group, © 2017. Used by permission.
Steven Curtis Chapman with Ken Abraham, Between Heaven & the Real WorldRevell Books, a division of Baker Publishing Group, © 2017. Used by permission.
26
STEVEN CURTIS CHAPMAN
choir consisted of singers who were fans of my music and had come from
all over the country to be a part of this night. They were almost as thrilled
as I was to be there, which only added to the excitement!
I took my place at center stage to an enthusiastic ovation from the crowd
and the choir, and with a small wave of the conductor’s baton, the orchestra
launched into the prologue from “The Great Adventure.” Here we go!
The concert that evening was amazing. Maybe it was the adrenaline rush,
or maybe talking to Scooter had put me at ease and reminded me of what
really mattered, but for some reason, despite the emotional moments and all
the artistic tensions, I was like a little boy filled with wonder and joy onstage.
The sound in the room was incredible, and I easily understood why the impec-
cable acoustics of Carnegie Hall are legendary. I had never imagined hearing
my songs with a live orchestra and choir—on recordings, maybe, but never
onstage like that. Mary Beth said later that I looked like a twelve-year-old
Steven having the time of his life—probably because that’s what I felt like.
We performed a “greatest hits” type of concert as well as a few songs
I had seldom, if ever, performed live. One such song called “Savior” was
particularly powerful because of the beautiful orchestral and choral ar-
rangement. I was overcome with emotion several times but was somehow
able to hold it together and resist the urge to have a full-on breakdown.
One of the most emotional points in the show for me was when I got
to sit down on the piano bench at center stage and just listen. I didn’t play
or sing. I simply sat and listened along with the audience as the orchestra
and the choir filled Carnegie Hall with the melodies and lyrics of two of
my best-known songs, “His Strength Is Perfect” and “Be Still and Know.”
It was truly a “taste and see that the Lord is good” moment to get to hear
my own songs like that. Many of the people in the choir had been singing
my songs for years. They had journeyed with my family and me through
good times and hard times, mountaintops and valleys. It was like a gift
from them to me as they sang their hearts out to show me how much the
music had meant to them.
(Unpublished manuscript—copyright protected Baker Publishing Group)
Steven Curtis Chapman with Ken Abraham, Between Heaven & the Real WorldRevell Books, a division of Baker Publishing Group, © 2017. Used by permission.
27
Between Heaven and the Real World
I sat in the middle of the stage and listened in awe. It was as though
the choir singers and the members of the audience were saying, “This is a
celebration of your life and your music and the impact they have had on
our lives.” It was a heavenly moment for me, and the best was yet to come.
Near the close of the concert, as I often did, I performed the song “Cin-
derella” and then followed it with “Spring Is Coming.” As I began to sing
that song, I looked back at the sound-mixing console and saw my new friend
Scooter standing with his head back and both of his hands raised high in
the air, singing along on every word and worshiping God.
Just above where Scooter was standing, in the front row of the first bal-
cony, I could see my family. Mary Beth, Shaoey, Stevey Joy, Will Franklin,
Caleb, Emily, and her husband, Tanner, were all there to celebrate this
moment with me, and as incredible as this whole Carnegie Hall experience
had been, nothing could compare with seeing them there . . . together. It
was a beautiful picture of hope and a powerful reminder to me that God
had carried us through the cold, hard winter of our grief. Even though our
hearts still ached for the little girl who wasn’t there with us, the healing
had begun and we were beginning to feel joy again and experience the first
signs of what we knew to be true: Spring really is coming.
The concert ended with an emotional standing ovation, and I took a bow
and looked around the room one last time, trying my best to take it all in.
After the concert, several people asked me if playing at Carnegie Hall was
a dream come true. I had to answer honestly, “No, a boy from Paducah
doesn’t think to dream that big.”
(Unpublished manuscript—copyright protected Baker Publishing Group)
Steven Curtis Chapman with Ken Abraham, Between Heaven & the Real WorldRevell Books, a division of Baker Publishing Group, © 2017. Used by permission.