BARRIERS TO BARRIERS TO COMMUNICATIONCOMMUNICATION

PRESENTED BY PRESENTED BY

PROF (DR) SHEFALI BAKSHIPROF (DR) SHEFALI BAKSHI

DEPUTY DIRECTOR (ASL)DEPUTY DIRECTOR (ASL)

No matter how good the communication No matter how good the communication system in an organisation is, unfortunately system in an organisation is, unfortunately barriers can and do often occur. This may be barriers can and do often occur. This may be caused by a number of factors which can caused by a number of factors which can usually be summarised as being due to usually be summarised as being due to physical barriers, system design faults or physical barriers, system design faults or additional barriers. additional barriers.

PHYSICAL BARRIERSPHYSICAL BARRIERS Physical barriersPhysical barriers  are often due to the nature of the  are often due to the nature of the

environment. Thus, for example, the natural barrier environment. Thus, for example, the natural barrier which exists, if staff are located in different buildings which exists, if staff are located in different buildings or on different sites. Likewise, poor or outdated or on different sites. Likewise, poor or outdated equipment, particularly the failure of management to equipment, particularly the failure of management to introduce new technology, may also cause problems. introduce new technology, may also cause problems. Staff shortages are another factor which frequently Staff shortages are another factor which frequently causes communication difficulties for an causes communication difficulties for an organisation. Whilst distractions like background organisation. Whilst distractions like background noise, poor lighting or an environment which is too noise, poor lighting or an environment which is too hot or cold can all affect people's morale and hot or cold can all affect people's morale and concentration, which in turn interfere with effective concentration, which in turn interfere with effective communication.communication.

SYSTEM DESIGNSYSTEM DESIGN

System designSystem design  faults refer to problems with the  faults refer to problems with the structures or systems in place in an organisation.structures or systems in place in an organisation.

  Examples might include an organisational structure Examples might include an organisational structure which is unclear and therefore makes it confusing to which is unclear and therefore makes it confusing to know who to communicate with. know who to communicate with.

Other examples could be inefficient or inappropriate Other examples could be inefficient or inappropriate information systems, a lack of supervision or training, information systems, a lack of supervision or training, and a lack of clarity in roles and responsibilities and a lack of clarity in roles and responsibilities which can lead to staff being uncertain about what is which can lead to staff being uncertain about what is expected of themexpected of them

ATTITUDINAL BARRIERSATTITUDINAL BARRIERS

Attitudinal barriersAttitudinal barriers  come about as a result of  come about as a result of problems with staff in an organisation. problems with staff in an organisation.

These may be brought about, for example, by such These may be brought about, for example, by such factors as poor management, lack of consultation with factors as poor management, lack of consultation with employees, personality conflicts which can result in employees, personality conflicts which can result in people delaying or refusing to communicate, the people delaying or refusing to communicate, the personal attitudes of individual employees which may personal attitudes of individual employees which may be due to lack of motivation or dissatisfaction at be due to lack of motivation or dissatisfaction at work, brought about by insufficient training to enable work, brought about by insufficient training to enable them to carry out particular tasks, or just resistance to them to carry out particular tasks, or just resistance to change due to entrenched attitudes and ideas.change due to entrenched attitudes and ideas.

OTHER COMMON BARRIERS TO OTHER COMMON BARRIERS TO EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION

INCLUDEINCLUDE

Psychological factorsPsychological factors  such as people's state  such as people's state of mind. We all tend to feel happier and more of mind. We all tend to feel happier and more receptive to information when the sun shines. receptive to information when the sun shines.

Equally, if someone has personal problems Equally, if someone has personal problems like worries about their health or marriage, like worries about their health or marriage, then this will probably affect them.then this will probably affect them.

Different languagesDifferent languages  and cultures represent a  and cultures represent a national barrier which is particularly important for national barrier which is particularly important for organisations involved in overseas business.organisations involved in overseas business.

Individual linguistic abilityIndividual linguistic ability  is also important. The  is also important. The use of difficult or inappropriate words in use of difficult or inappropriate words in communication can prevent people from communication can prevent people from understanding the message.understanding the message.

Poorly explained or misunderstood messages can also Poorly explained or misunderstood messages can also result in confusion. We can all think of situations result in confusion. We can all think of situations where we have listened to something explained which where we have listened to something explained which we just could not graspwe just could not grasp

Physiological barriersPhysiological barriers  may result from  may result from individuals' personal discomfort, caused, for individuals' personal discomfort, caused, for example, by ill health, poor eye sight or example, by ill health, poor eye sight or hearing difficulties. hearing difficulties.

Presentation of informationPresentation of information  is also  is also important to aid understandingimportant to aid understanding

Developing Skills for Personal Developing Skills for Personal Effectiveness Effectiveness

Verbal Communication BehaviourVerbal Communication Behaviour Assertiveness can be described as how we recognise the rights Assertiveness can be described as how we recognise the rights

of two parties involved.of two parties involved. AggressiveAggressive You exert your right to have ideas and opinions at You exert your right to have ideas and opinions at

the expense of the other person's rights. In fact you behave as the expense of the other person's rights. In fact you behave as if the other person's rights don't matter.if the other person's rights don't matter.Assertive Assertive You exert You exert your rights freely and clearly, but at the same time recognise your rights freely and clearly, but at the same time recognise the other person's rights to be heard, to have pride in what they the other person's rights to be heard, to have pride in what they do, etc.do, etc.Non-Assertive Non-Assertive You take too much account of the other You take too much account of the other person's rights, to the extent that you forego some or all of person's rights, to the extent that you forego some or all of your rights to express ideas or influence events.your rights to express ideas or influence events.

To illustrate the three types of behaviour look at the examples To illustrate the three types of behaviour look at the examples of a manager spotting some minor errors in the written work of a manager spotting some minor errors in the written work of a subordinate.  of a subordinate. 

The manager goes to the individual and says:The manager goes to the individual and says: AggressiveAggressive  "I don't know how you've got the nerve to give  "I don't know how you've got the nerve to give

me this sort of stuff for signing.  It's full of me this sort of stuff for signing.  It's full of mistakes."mistakes."AssertiveAssertive "Jane, I'd like you to re-do this document "Jane, I'd like you to re-do this document as there are several mistakes in it."as there are several mistakes in it."NonNon--AssertiveAssertive "I know it's, "I know it's, er .... probably my fault in .... not writing very clearly, but is er .... probably my fault in .... not writing very clearly, but is there, um .... any chance at all you could find a spare minute to there, um .... any chance at all you could find a spare minute to um .... just change one of two small things on this letter for um .... just change one of two small things on this letter for me?"Or you find an excuse not to take the document back at me?"Or you find an excuse not to take the document back at allall

Clearly the desired behaviour is to be Clearly the desired behaviour is to be assertive, and in this section you are going to assertive, and in this section you are going to look at how you can develop assertiveness in a look at how you can develop assertiveness in a range of situations - those conversations we range of situations - those conversations we have with ourselves before we interact with have with ourselves before we interact with someone else. someone else.

Sometimes these inner dialogues are subconscious, but if you become Sometimes these inner dialogues are subconscious, but if you become more aware of them, you can manage them and become more effective in more aware of them, you can manage them and become more effective in your dealings with others.  your dealings with others.  

AggressiveAggressive "If people produce rubbish, I have every right to tell them "If people produce rubbish, I have every right to tell them so""She obviously doesn't care.  That's typical of young people today."so""She obviously doesn't care.  That's typical of young people today.""This reflects badly on me, and I won't stand for it.""This reflects badly on me, and I won't stand for it."AssertiveAssertive "This may "This may be uncomfortable for us both, but we can handle it.""She has the right to be uncomfortable for us both, but we can handle it.""She has the right to make mistakes, but the responsibility to correct them."make mistakes, but the responsibility to correct them.""I want her to know the effect her errors have on other people.""I want her to know the effect her errors have on other people."Non-Non-Assertive Assertive "I don't want to make a scene or upset our working "I don't want to make a scene or upset our working relationship.""I'm sure these are unintentional errors - I'll let it go this relationship.""I'm sure these are unintentional errors - I'll let it go this time."time.""I know she's very busy, so I expect that's why these mistakes happened.""I know she's very busy, so I expect that's why these mistakes happened."

By having your Inner Dialogue before you deal with By having your Inner Dialogue before you deal with the other person, you can adjust your behaviour to be the other person, you can adjust your behaviour to be Assertive.  You achieve this by turning your Assertive.  You achieve this by turning your aggressive or non-assertive behaviour into assertive aggressive or non-assertive behaviour into assertive behaviour.  behaviour. 

There's something for all of us in this model - it isn't There's something for all of us in this model - it isn't just for tyrannical bosses or shrinking wall-flowers!  just for tyrannical bosses or shrinking wall-flowers! 

Effective assertive behaviour is an important building Effective assertive behaviour is an important building block for creating a empowered, involving, learning block for creating a empowered, involving, learning organisation culture.  organisation culture. 

You would do well to develop your assertiveness You would do well to develop your assertiveness before embarking on grander culture changes.before embarking on grander culture changes.

Developing Communication Skills: Developing Communication Skills: Listening Skills Listening Skills

There are a number of situations when you need to There are a number of situations when you need to solicit good information from others; these situations solicit good information from others; these situations include interviewing candidates, solving work include interviewing candidates, solving work problems, seeking to help an employee on work problems, seeking to help an employee on work performance, and finding out reasons for performance performance, and finding out reasons for performance discrepancies. Skill in communication involves a discrepancies. Skill in communication involves a number of specific strengths. The first we will discuss number of specific strengths. The first we will discuss involves listening skills. The following lists some involves listening skills. The following lists some suggests for effective listening when confronted with suggests for effective listening when confronted with a problem at worka problem at work

Listen openly and with empathy to the other person Listen openly and with empathy to the other person Judge the content, not the messenger or delivery; comprehend before you Judge the content, not the messenger or delivery; comprehend before you

judge judge Use multiple techniques to fully comprehend (ask, repeat, rephrase, etc.) Use multiple techniques to fully comprehend (ask, repeat, rephrase, etc.) Active body state; fight distractions Active body state; fight distractions Ask the other person for as much detail as he/she can provide; paraphrase Ask the other person for as much detail as he/she can provide; paraphrase

what the other is saying to make sure you understand it and check for what the other is saying to make sure you understand it and check for understanding understanding

Respond in an interested way that shows you understand the problem and Respond in an interested way that shows you understand the problem and the employee's concern the employee's concern

Attend to non-verbal cues, body language, not just words; listen between Attend to non-verbal cues, body language, not just words; listen between the lines the lines

Ask the other for his views or suggestions Ask the other for his views or suggestions State your position openly; be specific, not global State your position openly; be specific, not global

Communicate your feelings but don't act them out (eg. tell a person that his Communicate your feelings but don't act them out (eg. tell a person that his behavior really upsets you; don't get angry) behavior really upsets you; don't get angry)

Be descriptive, not evaluative-describe objectively, your reactions, Be descriptive, not evaluative-describe objectively, your reactions, consequences consequences

Be validating, not invalidating ("You wouldn't understand"); acknowledge Be validating, not invalidating ("You wouldn't understand"); acknowledge other;'s uniqueness, importance other;'s uniqueness, importance

Be conjunctive, not disjunctive (not "I want to discuss this regardless of Be conjunctive, not disjunctive (not "I want to discuss this regardless of what you want to discuss"); what you want to discuss");

Don't totally control conversation; acknowledge what was said Don't totally control conversation; acknowledge what was said Own up: use "I", not "They"... not "I've heard you are noncooperative" Own up: use "I", not "They"... not "I've heard you are noncooperative" Don't react to emotional words, but interpret their purpose Don't react to emotional words, but interpret their purpose Practice supportive listening, not one way listening Practice supportive listening, not one way listening Decide on specific follow-up actions and specific follow up dates Decide on specific follow-up actions and specific follow up dates

A major source of problem in communication is A major source of problem in communication is defensiveness. Effective communicators are aware that defensiveness. Effective communicators are aware that defensiveness is a typical response in a work situation defensiveness is a typical response in a work situation especially when negative information or criticism is involved. especially when negative information or criticism is involved. Be aware that defensiveness is common, particularly with Be aware that defensiveness is common, particularly with subordinates when you are dealing with a problem. Try to subordinates when you are dealing with a problem. Try to make adjustments to compensate for the likely defensiveness. make adjustments to compensate for the likely defensiveness. Realize that when people feel threatened they will try to Realize that when people feel threatened they will try to protect themselves; this is natural. This defensiveness can take protect themselves; this is natural. This defensiveness can take the form of aggression, anger, competitiveness, avoidance the form of aggression, anger, competitiveness, avoidance among other responses. A skillful listener is aware of the among other responses. A skillful listener is aware of the potential for defensiveness and makes needed adjustment. He potential for defensiveness and makes needed adjustment. He or she is aware that self-protection is necessary and avoids or she is aware that self-protection is necessary and avoids making the other person spend energy defending the self making the other person spend energy defending the self

In addition, a supportive and In addition, a supportive and effective listener does the following: effective listener does the following:

Stop Talking: Asks the other person for as much detail as he/she can Stop Talking: Asks the other person for as much detail as he/she can provide; asks for other's views and suggestions provide; asks for other's views and suggestions

Looks at the person, listens openly and with empathy to the employee; is Looks at the person, listens openly and with empathy to the employee; is clear about his position; be patient clear about his position; be patient

Listen and Respond in an interested way that shows you understand the Listen and Respond in an interested way that shows you understand the problem and the other's concern problem and the other's concern

is validating, not invalidating ("You wouldn't understand"); acknowledge is validating, not invalidating ("You wouldn't understand"); acknowledge other;'s uniqueness, importance other;'s uniqueness, importance

checks for understanding; paraphrases; asks questions for clarification checks for understanding; paraphrases; asks questions for clarification don't control conversation; acknowledges what was said; let's the other don't control conversation; acknowledges what was said; let's the other

finish before responding finish before responding Focuses on the problem, not the person; is descriptive and specific, not Focuses on the problem, not the person; is descriptive and specific, not

evaluative; focuses on content, not delivery or emotion evaluative; focuses on content, not delivery or emotion

Attend to emotional as well as cognitive messages (e.g., Attend to emotional as well as cognitive messages (e.g., anger); aware of non-verbal cues, body language, etc.; listen anger); aware of non-verbal cues, body language, etc.; listen between the lines between the lines

React to the message, not the person, delivery or emotion React to the message, not the person, delivery or emotion Make sure you comprehend before you judge; ask questions Make sure you comprehend before you judge; ask questions Use many techniques to fully comprehend Use many techniques to fully comprehend Stay in an active body state to aid listening Stay in an active body state to aid listening Fight distractions Fight distractions ( if in a work situation) Take Notes; Decide on specific ( if in a work situation) Take Notes; Decide on specific

follow-up actions and specific follow up dates follow-up actions and specific follow up dates

Eight barriers to effective listening Eight barriers to effective listening

More attention is usually paid to making More attention is usually paid to making people better speakers or writers (the "supply people better speakers or writers (the "supply side" of the communication chain) rather than side" of the communication chain) rather than on making them better listeners or readers (the on making them better listeners or readers (the "demand side"). The most direct way to "demand side"). The most direct way to improve communication is by learning to improve communication is by learning to listen more effectively. listen more effectively.

#1 - Knowing the answer #1 - Knowing the answer "Knowing the answer" means that you think you already know what the "Knowing the answer" means that you think you already know what the

speaker wants to say, before she actually finishes saying it. You might then speaker wants to say, before she actually finishes saying it. You might then impatiently cut her off or try to complete the sentence for her.impatiently cut her off or try to complete the sentence for her.

Even more disruptive is interrupting her by saying that you with disagree Even more disruptive is interrupting her by saying that you with disagree her, but without letting her finish saying what it is that you think you her, but without letting her finish saying what it is that you think you disagree with. That's a common problem when a discussion gets heated, disagree with. That's a common problem when a discussion gets heated, and which causes the discussion to degrade quickly.and which causes the discussion to degrade quickly.

By interrupting the speaker before letting her finish, you're essentially By interrupting the speaker before letting her finish, you're essentially saying that you don't value what she's saying. Showing respect to the saying that you don't value what she's saying. Showing respect to the speaker is a crucial element of good listening.speaker is a crucial element of good listening.

The "knowing the answer" barrier also causes the listener to pre-judge The "knowing the answer" barrier also causes the listener to pre-judge what the speaker is saying -- a kind of closed-mindedness.what the speaker is saying -- a kind of closed-mindedness.

A good listener tries to keep an open, receptive mind. He looks for A good listener tries to keep an open, receptive mind. He looks for opportunities to stretch his mind when listening, and to acquire new ideas opportunities to stretch his mind when listening, and to acquire new ideas or insights, rather than reinforcing existing points of view.or insights, rather than reinforcing existing points of view.

Strategy for overcoming this barrier Strategy for overcoming this barrier

A simple strategy for overcoming the "knowing the A simple strategy for overcoming the "knowing the answer" barrier is to wait for three seconds after the answer" barrier is to wait for three seconds after the speaker finishes before beginning your reply.speaker finishes before beginning your reply.

Three seconds can seem like a very long time during Three seconds can seem like a very long time during a heated discussion, and following this rule also a heated discussion, and following this rule also means that you might have to listen for a long time means that you might have to listen for a long time before the other person finally stops speaking. That's before the other person finally stops speaking. That's usually a good thing, because it gives the speaker a usually a good thing, because it gives the speaker a chance to fully vent his or her feelings.chance to fully vent his or her feelings.

Another strategy is to schedule a structured session Another strategy is to schedule a structured session during which only one person speaks while the other during which only one person speaks while the other listens. You then switch roles in the next sessionlistens. You then switch roles in the next session

#2 - Trying to be helpful #2 - Trying to be helpful Trying to be helpful while listening also implies that you've made certain Trying to be helpful while listening also implies that you've made certain

judgments about the speaker. That can raise emotional barriers to judgments about the speaker. That can raise emotional barriers to communication, as judgments can sometimes mean that the listener doesn't communication, as judgments can sometimes mean that the listener doesn't have complete respect for the speaker.have complete respect for the speaker.

In a sense, giving a person your undivided attention while listening is the In a sense, giving a person your undivided attention while listening is the purest act of love you can offer. Because human beings are such social purest act of love you can offer. Because human beings are such social animals, simply knowing that another person has listened and understood animals, simply knowing that another person has listened and understood is empowering. Often that's all a person needs in order to solve the is empowering. Often that's all a person needs in order to solve the problems on his or her own.problems on his or her own.

If you as a listener step in and heroically offer your solution, you're If you as a listener step in and heroically offer your solution, you're implying that you're more capable of seeing the solution than the speaker implying that you're more capable of seeing the solution than the speaker is.is.

If the speaker is describing a difficult or long-term problem, and you offer If the speaker is describing a difficult or long-term problem, and you offer a facile, off-the-cuff solution, you're probably forgetting that he or she may a facile, off-the-cuff solution, you're probably forgetting that he or she may have already considered your instant solution long before.have already considered your instant solution long before.

Strategy for overcoming this barrier Strategy for overcoming this barrier

Schedule a separate session for giving advice. Many Schedule a separate session for giving advice. Many people forget that it's rude to offer advice when the people forget that it's rude to offer advice when the speaker isn't asking for it. Even if the advice is good.speaker isn't asking for it. Even if the advice is good.

In any case, a person can give better advice if he first In any case, a person can give better advice if he first listens carefully and understands the speaker's listens carefully and understands the speaker's complete situation before trying to offer advice.complete situation before trying to offer advice.

If you believe you have valuable advice that the If you believe you have valuable advice that the speaker isn't likely to know, then first politely ask if speaker isn't likely to know, then first politely ask if you may offer what you see as a possible solution. you may offer what you see as a possible solution. Wait for the speaker to clearly invite you to go ahead Wait for the speaker to clearly invite you to go ahead before you offer your advice.before you offer your advice.

#3 - Treating discussion as #3 - Treating discussion as competition competition

Some people feel that agreeing with the speaker Some people feel that agreeing with the speaker during a heated discussion is a sign of weakness. during a heated discussion is a sign of weakness. They feel compelled to challenge every point the They feel compelled to challenge every point the speaker makes, even if they inwardly agree. speaker makes, even if they inwardly agree. Discussion then becomes a contest, with a score Discussion then becomes a contest, with a score being kept for who wins the most points by arguing.being kept for who wins the most points by arguing.

Treating discussion as competition is one of the most Treating discussion as competition is one of the most serious barriers to good listening. It greatly inhibits serious barriers to good listening. It greatly inhibits the listener from stretching and seeing a different the listener from stretching and seeing a different point of view. It can also be frustrating for the point of view. It can also be frustrating for the speaker.speaker.

Strategy for overcoming this barrier Strategy for overcoming this barrier

Although competitive debate serves many useful purposes, Although competitive debate serves many useful purposes, and can be great fun, debating should be scheduled for a and can be great fun, debating should be scheduled for a separate session of its own, where it won't interfere with good separate session of its own, where it won't interfere with good listening.listening.

Except in a very rare case where you truly disagree with Except in a very rare case where you truly disagree with absolutely everything the speaker is saying, you should avoid absolutely everything the speaker is saying, you should avoid dismissing her statements completely. Instead, affirm the dismissing her statements completely. Instead, affirm the points of agreement.points of agreement.

Try to voice active agreement whenever you do agree, and be Try to voice active agreement whenever you do agree, and be very specific about what you disagree with.very specific about what you disagree with.

A good overall listening principle is to be generous with the A good overall listening principle is to be generous with the speaker. Offer affirmative feedback as often as you feel speaker. Offer affirmative feedback as often as you feel comfortable doing so. Generosity also entails clearly voicing comfortable doing so. Generosity also entails clearly voicing exactly where you disagree, as well as where you agree.exactly where you disagree, as well as where you agree.

#4 - Trying to influence or impress #4 - Trying to influence or impress

Because good listening depends on listening just for the sake of listening, Because good listening depends on listening just for the sake of listening, any ulterior motive will diminish the effectiveness of the listener. any ulterior motive will diminish the effectiveness of the listener. Examples of ulterior motives are trying to impress or to influence the Examples of ulterior motives are trying to impress or to influence the speaker.speaker.

A person who has an agenda other than simply to understand what the A person who has an agenda other than simply to understand what the speaker is thinking and feeling will not be able to pay complete attention speaker is thinking and feeling will not be able to pay complete attention while listening.while listening.

Psychologists have pointed out that people can understand language about Psychologists have pointed out that people can understand language about two or three times faster than they can speak. That implies that a listener two or three times faster than they can speak. That implies that a listener has a lot of extra mental "bandwidth" for thinking about other things while has a lot of extra mental "bandwidth" for thinking about other things while listening. A good listener knows how to use that spare capacity to think listening. A good listener knows how to use that spare capacity to think about what the speaker is talking about.about what the speaker is talking about.

A listener with an ulterior motive, such as to influence or impress the A listener with an ulterior motive, such as to influence or impress the speaker, will probably use the spare capacity to think about his "next speaker, will probably use the spare capacity to think about his "next move" in the conversation -- his rebuttal or what he will say next when the move" in the conversation -- his rebuttal or what he will say next when the speaker is finished -- instead of focusing on understanding the speaker.speaker is finished -- instead of focusing on understanding the speaker.

Strategy for overcoming this barrier Strategy for overcoming this barrier

"Trying to influence or impress" is a difficult barrier to "Trying to influence or impress" is a difficult barrier to overcome, because motives usually can't just be willed away. overcome, because motives usually can't just be willed away. Deciding not to have a motive usually only drives it beneath Deciding not to have a motive usually only drives it beneath your awareness so that it becomes a hidden motive.your awareness so that it becomes a hidden motive.

One strategy is to One strategy is to make note of your internal motivesmake note of your internal motives while while you're listening. Simply by noticing your motives, any ulterior you're listening. Simply by noticing your motives, any ulterior motives will eventually unravel, allowing you to let go and to motives will eventually unravel, allowing you to let go and to listen just for the sake of listening.listen just for the sake of listening.

That strategy comes from Vipassana meditation, where That strategy comes from Vipassana meditation, where Buddhists try to free themselves of inner motives without Buddhists try to free themselves of inner motives without seeking explicitly to do so.seeking explicitly to do so.

#5 - Reacting to red flag words #5 - Reacting to red flag words

Words can provoke a reaction in the listener Words can provoke a reaction in the listener that wasn't necessarily what the speaker that wasn't necessarily what the speaker intended. When that happens the listener won't intended. When that happens the listener won't be able to hear or pay full attention to what the be able to hear or pay full attention to what the speaker is saying.speaker is saying.

Red flag words or expressions trigger an Red flag words or expressions trigger an unexpectedly strong association in the unexpectedly strong association in the listener's mind, often because of the listener's listener's mind, often because of the listener's private beliefs or experiences.private beliefs or experiences.

Technology is often seen as the driver of Technology is often seen as the driver of improved communications, but technology, in improved communications, but technology, in itself, creates noise and discord as much as it itself, creates noise and discord as much as it

melds minds.melds minds. Good listeners have learned how to minimize the distraction Good listeners have learned how to minimize the distraction

caused by red flag words, but a red flag word will make caused by red flag words, but a red flag word will make almost any listener momentarily unable to hear with full almost any listener momentarily unable to hear with full attention.attention.

An important point is that the speaker may not have actually An important point is that the speaker may not have actually meant the word in the way that the listener understood. meant the word in the way that the listener understood. However, the listener will be so distracted by the red flag that However, the listener will be so distracted by the red flag that she will not notice what the speaker actually did mean to say.she will not notice what the speaker actually did mean to say.

Red flag words don't always provoke emotional reactions. Red flag words don't always provoke emotional reactions. Sometimes they just cause slight disagreements or Sometimes they just cause slight disagreements or misunderstandings. Whenever a listener finds himself misunderstandings. Whenever a listener finds himself disagreeing or reacting, he should be on the lookout for red disagreeing or reacting, he should be on the lookout for red flag words or expressions.flag words or expressions.

Strategy for overcoming this barrier Strategy for overcoming this barrier

When a speaker uses a word or expression that When a speaker uses a word or expression that triggers a reflexive association, you as a good triggers a reflexive association, you as a good listener can ask the speaker to confirm whether listener can ask the speaker to confirm whether she meant to say what you think she said.she meant to say what you think she said.

When you hear a word or expression that When you hear a word or expression that raises a red flag, try to stop the conversation, if raises a red flag, try to stop the conversation, if possible, so that you don't miss anything that possible, so that you don't miss anything that the speaker says. Then ask the speaker to the speaker says. Then ask the speaker to clarify and explain the point in a different way.clarify and explain the point in a different way.

#6 - Believing in language #6 - Believing in language One of the trickiest barriers is "believing in language" -- a misplaced trust in the One of the trickiest barriers is "believing in language" -- a misplaced trust in the

precision of words.precision of words. Language is a guessing game. Speaker and listener use language to predict what Language is a guessing game. Speaker and listener use language to predict what

each other is thinking. Meaning must always be actively negotiated.each other is thinking. Meaning must always be actively negotiated. It's a fallacy to think that a word's dictionary definition can be transmitted directly It's a fallacy to think that a word's dictionary definition can be transmitted directly

through using the word. An example of that fallacy is revealed in the statement, "I through using the word. An example of that fallacy is revealed in the statement, "I said it perfectly clearly, so why didn't you understand?". Of course, the naive said it perfectly clearly, so why didn't you understand?". Of course, the naive assumption here is that words that are clear to one person are clear to another, as if assumption here is that words that are clear to one person are clear to another, as if the words themselves contained absolute meaning.the words themselves contained absolute meaning.

Words have a unique effect in the mind of each person, because each person's Words have a unique effect in the mind of each person, because each person's experience is unique. Those differences can be small, but the overall effect of the experience is unique. Those differences can be small, but the overall effect of the differences can become large enough to cause misunderstanding.differences can become large enough to cause misunderstanding.

A worse problem is that words work by pointing at experiences shared by speaker A worse problem is that words work by pointing at experiences shared by speaker and listener.and listener.

If the listener hasn't had the experience that the speaker is using the word to point If the listener hasn't had the experience that the speaker is using the word to point at, then the word points at nothing. Worse still, the listener may quietly substitute a at, then the word points at nothing. Worse still, the listener may quietly substitute a different experience to match the word.different experience to match the word.

Strategy for overcoming this barrier Strategy for overcoming this barrier

You as a good listener ought to practice mistrusting You as a good listener ought to practice mistrusting the meaning of words. Ask the speaker supporting the meaning of words. Ask the speaker supporting questions to cross-verify what the words mean to questions to cross-verify what the words mean to him.him.

Don't assume that words or expressions mean exactly Don't assume that words or expressions mean exactly the same to you as they do to the speaker. You can the same to you as they do to the speaker. You can stop the speaker and question the meaning of a word. stop the speaker and question the meaning of a word. Doing that too often also becomes an impediment, of Doing that too often also becomes an impediment, of course, but if you suspect that the speaker's usage of course, but if you suspect that the speaker's usage of the word might be slightly different, you ought to the word might be slightly different, you ought to take time to explore that, before the difference leads take time to explore that, before the difference leads to misunderstanding.to misunderstanding.

#7 - Mixing up the forest and the #7 - Mixing up the forest and the trees trees

A common saying refers to an inability "to see the forest for the trees". Sometimes people pay such close A common saying refers to an inability "to see the forest for the trees". Sometimes people pay such close attention to detail, that they miss the overall meaning or context of a situation.attention to detail, that they miss the overall meaning or context of a situation.

Some speakers are what we will call "trees" people. They prefer concrete, detailed explanations. They Some speakers are what we will call "trees" people. They prefer concrete, detailed explanations. They might explain a complex situation just by naming or describing its characteristics in no particular order.might explain a complex situation just by naming or describing its characteristics in no particular order.

Other speakers are "forest" people. When they have to explain complex situations, they prefer to begin by Other speakers are "forest" people. When they have to explain complex situations, they prefer to begin by giving a sweeping, abstract bird's-eye view.giving a sweeping, abstract bird's-eye view.

Good explanations usually involve both types, with the big-picture "forest" view providing context and Good explanations usually involve both types, with the big-picture "forest" view providing context and overall meaning, and the specific "trees" view providing illuminating examples.overall meaning, and the specific "trees" view providing illuminating examples.

When trying to communicate complex information, the speaker needs to accurately shift between forest When trying to communicate complex information, the speaker needs to accurately shift between forest and trees in order to show how the details fit into the big picture. However, speakers often forget to use and trees in order to show how the details fit into the big picture. However, speakers often forget to use "turn indicators" to signal that they are shifting from one to another, which can cause confusion or "turn indicators" to signal that they are shifting from one to another, which can cause confusion or misunderstanding for the listener.misunderstanding for the listener.

Each style is prone to weaknesses in communication. For example, "trees" people often have trouble telling Each style is prone to weaknesses in communication. For example, "trees" people often have trouble telling their listener which of the details are more important and how those details fit into the overall context. their listener which of the details are more important and how those details fit into the overall context. They can also fail to tell their listener that they are making a transition from one thought to another -- a They can also fail to tell their listener that they are making a transition from one thought to another -- a problem that quickly shows up in their writing, as well.problem that quickly shows up in their writing, as well.

"Forest" people, on the other hand, often baffle their listeners with obscure abstractions. They tend to "Forest" people, on the other hand, often baffle their listeners with obscure abstractions. They tend to prefer using concepts, but sometimes those concepts are so removed from the world of the senses that their prefer using concepts, but sometimes those concepts are so removed from the world of the senses that their listeners get lost.listeners get lost.

"Trees" people commonly accuse "forest" people of going off on tangents or speaking in unwarranted "Trees" people commonly accuse "forest" people of going off on tangents or speaking in unwarranted generalities. "Forest" people commonly feel that "trees" people are too narrow and literal.generalities. "Forest" people commonly feel that "trees" people are too narrow and literal.

Strategy for overcoming this barrier Strategy for overcoming this barrier You as a good listener can explicitly ask the speaker for overall context or for specific You as a good listener can explicitly ask the speaker for overall context or for specific

exemplary details, as needed. You should cross-verify by asking the speaker how the trees fit exemplary details, as needed. You should cross-verify by asking the speaker how the trees fit together to form the forest. Having an accurate picture of how the details fit together is crucial together to form the forest. Having an accurate picture of how the details fit together is crucial to understanding the speaker's thoughts.to understanding the speaker's thoughts.

An important point to remember is that a "trees" speaker may become confused or irritated if An important point to remember is that a "trees" speaker may become confused or irritated if you as the listener try to supply missing context, and a "forest" speaker may become impatient you as the listener try to supply missing context, and a "forest" speaker may become impatient or annoyed if you try to supply missing examples.or annoyed if you try to supply missing examples.

A more effective approach is to encourage the speaker to supply missing context or examples A more effective approach is to encourage the speaker to supply missing context or examples by asking him open-ended questions.by asking him open-ended questions.

Asking open-ended questions when listening is generally more effective than asking closed-Asking open-ended questions when listening is generally more effective than asking closed-ended ones.ended ones.

For example, an open-ended question such as "Can you give me a concrete example of that?" For example, an open-ended question such as "Can you give me a concrete example of that?" is less likely to cause confusion or disagreement than a more closed-ended one such as is less likely to cause confusion or disagreement than a more closed-ended one such as "Would such-and-such be an example of what you're talking about?""Would such-and-such be an example of what you're talking about?"

Some speakers may even fail to notice that a closed-ended question is actually a question. Some speakers may even fail to notice that a closed-ended question is actually a question. They may then disagree with what they thought was a statement of opinion, and that will They may then disagree with what they thought was a statement of opinion, and that will cause distracting friction or confusion.cause distracting friction or confusion.

The strategy of asking open-ended questions, instead of closed-ended or leading questions, is The strategy of asking open-ended questions, instead of closed-ended or leading questions, is an important overall component of good listening.an important overall component of good listening.

#8 - Over-splitting or over-lumping #8 - Over-splitting or over-lumping

People have different styles of organizing thoughts when explaining complex People have different styles of organizing thoughts when explaining complex situations. Some people, "splitters", tend to pay more attention to how things are situations. Some people, "splitters", tend to pay more attention to how things are different. Other people, "lumpers", tend to look for how things are alike. Perhaps different. Other people, "lumpers", tend to look for how things are alike. Perhaps this is a matter of temperament.this is a matter of temperament.

If the speaker and listener are on opposite sides of the splitter-lumper spectrum, the If the speaker and listener are on opposite sides of the splitter-lumper spectrum, the different mental styles can cause confusion or lack of understanding.different mental styles can cause confusion or lack of understanding.

A listener who is an over-splitter can inadvertently signal that he disagrees with the A listener who is an over-splitter can inadvertently signal that he disagrees with the speaker over everything, even if he actually agrees with most of what the speaker speaker over everything, even if he actually agrees with most of what the speaker says and only disagrees with a nuance or point of emphasis.says and only disagrees with a nuance or point of emphasis.

That can cause "noise" and interfere with the flow of conversation. Likewise, a That can cause "noise" and interfere with the flow of conversation. Likewise, a listener who is an over-lumper can let crucial differences of opinion go listener who is an over-lumper can let crucial differences of opinion go unchallenged, which can lead to a serious misunderstanding later. The speaker will unchallenged, which can lead to a serious misunderstanding later. The speaker will mistakenly assume that the listener has understood and agreed.mistakenly assume that the listener has understood and agreed.

It's important to achieve a good balance between splitting (critical thinking) and It's important to achieve a good balance between splitting (critical thinking) and lumping (metaphorical thinking). Even more important is for the listener to lumping (metaphorical thinking). Even more important is for the listener to recognize when the speaker is splitting and when she is lumping.recognize when the speaker is splitting and when she is lumping.

Strategy for overcoming this barrier Strategy for overcoming this barrier

An approach to overcoming this barrier when listening is to An approach to overcoming this barrier when listening is to ask questions to determine more precisely where you agree or ask questions to determine more precisely where you agree or disagree with what the speaker is saying, and then to explicitly disagree with what the speaker is saying, and then to explicitly point that out, when appropriate.point that out, when appropriate.

For example, you might say, "I think we have differing views For example, you might say, "I think we have differing views on several points here, but do we at least agree that ... ?" or on several points here, but do we at least agree that ... ?" or "We agree with each other on most of this, but I think we have "We agree with each other on most of this, but I think we have different views in the area of ...."different views in the area of ...."

By actively voicing the points of convergence and divergence, By actively voicing the points of convergence and divergence, the listener can create a more accurate mental model of the the listener can create a more accurate mental model of the speaker's mind. That reduces the conversational noise that can speaker's mind. That reduces the conversational noise that can arise when speaker and listener fail to realize how their minds arise when speaker and listener fail to realize how their minds are aligned or unalignedare aligned or unaligned

Quadrant of cognitive/explanatory Quadrant of cognitive/explanatory stylesstyles

Often more than one barrier can be present at Often more than one barrier can be present at once. For example, a speaker might be an once. For example, a speaker might be an over-splitter who has trouble seeing the forest, over-splitter who has trouble seeing the forest, while the listener is an over-lumper who can while the listener is an over-lumper who can see only the forest and never the trees. Those see only the forest and never the trees. Those two will have even more trouble two will have even more trouble communicating if one or both has the habit of communicating if one or both has the habit of "knowing the answer" or "treating discussion "knowing the answer" or "treating discussion as competition". as competition".

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