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8/14/2019 BAP SF Peninsula - June 2008 - Dad Article
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TMBayAreaParent.com June 2008
FREE
SAN FRANCISCO
& PENINSULA
2008 Dominion Enterprises.All Rights Reserved.
FEELING
STRETCHED?FREE FAMILY FUN
BOYS
NIGHT
OUTWHY DADS
NEED ONE
PARENTING
RESOURCES27 TOOLS TO MAKE
RAISING KIDS EASIER
AT HOME
WITH DAD
AT HOME
WITH DADEVERY DAY IS
FATHERS DAY
FIND IT HERE
SWIM & SUMMER FUN 33
PARTIES & ENTERTAINERS 37
SUMMER CAMPS 47
8/14/2019 BAP SF Peninsula - June 2008 - Dad Article
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When Father
Knows BestBy Dana Young
Theyve heard it all: The Mr. Mom jokes, thequips about being able to spend the day watchingESPN. But for the thousands of Bay Area fatherswho are primary caregivers for their children, life is alot more than fun and games although there is a lotof that, too.
Stay-at-home dads areeverywhere, it seems, con-nected by technology toeach other and supportedby a Bay Area culture that
realizes flexibility is anecessity for todays busyparents.
While it is difficult tofind data on the number ofSAHDs in NorthernCalifornia, Paul Banas,Founder of GreatDad.comand stay-at-home dad, saysthere could be well over100,000 SAHDs in the Bay
Area alone, and 1 to 2 mil-lion nationwide. While theU.S. Census reports only159,000 stay-at-home dads(see sidebar p. 26), it
excludes many who are staying at home for anotherprimary reason they may work from home, or takeclasses at night, and can be available as the primarycaregiver.
This month, in honor of Fathers Day 2008 andthe growing number of SAHDs, we spoke with sev-
eral Bay Area dads who stay home about the joys and surprises of their unique fatherhood.
Matt MaioccoFive years ago, Matt Maiocco, a Lafayette-based
sportswriter who covers the San Francisco 49ers, took
on a new assignment: stay-at-home dad to daughters
Janie, 5, and Lucie, 3. During the off-season, Maiocco
handles the majority of the daytime parenting respon-
sibilities. And, during the football season, he can con-
duct 95 percent of his work via phone from his home
office, which enables him to actively participate in the
raising of his two daughters. Married for more than
seven years, Maiocco and his wife, Sarah, who works
for a financial software company, saw this as a wonder-
ful opportunity for their family.
How do you and your wife differ on child-rear-ing issues?
Im the softy; shes the one who lays down the law.
What are some of the joys?
Im around the girls a lot. I have been able to be
with them and havent missed out on their growing up.
Differences between SAHDs and SAHMs?
I had our littlest one enrolled in a one-day-a-week
class at nursery school called Mommy and Me. Of
course, I referred to it as Daddy and Me, but I was
the only daddy in the class.
Have you ever been referred to as a Mr. Mom?I wear it like a badge of honor.
One thing you want people to know about being
an at-home dad?
I think a lot of people are envious that Im able to
spend so much time with my children and have devel-
oped such a strong relationship with them.
Top Bay Area spots to go with your kids?
I regularly take them to the Oakland Zoo thank
goodness for the yearly pass! We can spend hours at
the childrens portion of the zoo. Lindsay Wildlife
Museum is a good spot just to walk around andobserve the birds and animals.
22 Bay Area Parent | June 2008
Its a whole new ballgame for Bay Area stay-at-home dads
Matt Maiocco of Lafayette, with daughtersLucie, 3, and Janie, 5.
8/14/2019 BAP SF Peninsula - June 2008 - Dad Article
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650.655.7600 | BayAreaParent.com 23
Seth TatorSeveral years before Seth Tator and his wife of
six years started a family, they looked at how they
wanted to parent. While they knew people who
had invested a great deal of time locating
providers who are like family, they felt this was
the exception. If you are going to have kids, then
parent them, Tator says. For us, turning over a
newborn didnt fit that mold. In order to make
their decision work, Tator, a former banker at
Wells Fargo, began attending business school on
the weekends. He studies at night and is a SAHD
during the week to his two daughters, while his
wife, a director of operations, works full-time out-
side the home.
How do you and your wife differ on child-
rearing issues?
She is much more playful, while I am a bit
more straight-laced.
What are the frustrations of being a SAHD?
I suppose the same frustrations of being a
stay-at-home-mom the complete lack of respect
for the time demands the role places on you.
Funniest thing said to you about being a
SAHD?
Someone asked me how we handled the
breast feeding as if I was supposed to lactate!
One thing you want people to know aboutbeing a SAHD?
Daytime childrens shows are HORRIBLE.
Do you think society is becoming more
accepting of SAHDs?
Things have changed in three years, there are
less inquisitive looks at playgrounds, and in the
supermarkets, but I am still an odd ball. What
were waiting for is the same thing that would
remove the glass ceiling in corporate America a
removal of unconscious stereotypes regarding
roles.Top Bay Area spots to go with your kids?
My daughters all-time favorite ever is
Childrens Wonderland in Vallejo. It has five or
six different play areas, a running stream for the
kids to mess around in, and large grassy areas to
run around on this place really is great.
Vijay BhaskaranPleasanton resident Vijay Bhaskaran assumed
the role of full-time father twice. The first time
was from June 2002 to October 2002, followingthe adoption of daughter Maya. In July 2007,
JILLHAGER
/PHOTOGRAPHY
BY
JILL
I had always desired to
care for my children evenbefore we had kids.
Vijay Bhaskaran, Pleasanton father of
Maya, 6, and Arja, 3
8/14/2019 BAP SF Peninsula - June 2008 - Dad Article
4/6
Bhaskaran took on the primary caregiver role once again
because of his personal desire to be a stay-home parent and
share responsibility with his wife Alna Chandnani, a manager
at Cisco Systems. Noting that the choice was not a financial
one, Bhaskaran says, I had always desired to care for my
children even before we had kids. A former technology mar-
keting professional, he currently manages the household andattends business school in the evenings at U.C. Berkeley.
Whats the difference between you and your wife
regarding childrearing?
24 Bay Area Parent | June 2008
fathers day
Dads OnlineWe all know Dads like to play on the Internet, and it
has been a fertile breeding ground for Web sites and
blogs dedicated to the adventures of stay-at-home dads.
Most provide information, resources, connections and
community to the growing number of SAHDs in the Bay
Area. And more than a few provide some excellent (andoften comedic) insight from the get-go. Here are some of
our favorites:
GreatDad (greatdad.com) Because Dads dont
always think like Moms. A leading source of experience,
recommendations, inspiration and advice for dads deliv-
ered from the male perspective. Founded by Bay Area
Parentcolumnist Paul Banas.
Dad Labs (dadlabs.com) Taking back paternity. An
edgy, fun and informative dad-focused Internet show and
Web site that features comedic and informative videos.
At-Home Dad (athomedad.com) Men who changediapers change the world. SAHD-specific newsletter and
clearinghouse that provide resources, information, con-
San Franciscos August Stofferahn with sons Luca, 4, andNoah, 22 months.
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I take more risks and rarely follow the norm. I believe thatkids can be part of our social life, rather than having a sepa-rate adult social life and kids social life.
What are the frustrations of being a SAHD?
Explaining to others (especially other parents) that dadsare also great in this role. Many people seem to think there isa hidden agenda or that this is an easy role or that dads arenot as good as moms in this job.
Funniest thing said to you about being a SAHD?
You must have made millions in the dot-com boom.One thing you want people to know about being a
SAHD?
Dads are terrific role models for kids even though mostwill not follow conventional wisdom followed by moms overgenerations.
Top Bay Area spots to go with your kids?
We love the Monterey Bay Aquarium, the Oakland Zooand Santa Cruz beaches.
August StofferahnLike Bhaskaran, August Stofferahn of San Francisco has
had two stints as a stay-at-home dad to his children. The firstwas for a year, beginning in late 2005, then again this year.While the decision to leave his job as an attorney to becomean at-home dad was hard, it was one Stofferahn looked for-ward to making. Legal work and staying home with the
boys are both rewarding, though in very different ways. Iwanted to spend more time with them and take a break frompracticing law. He and wife Sarah, also an attorney, havebeen married nine years, and have Luca, 4, and Noah, 22
nections, community and networking for stay-at-home
dads.
Rebel Dad (rebeldad.com) The stay-at-home dad rev-
olution online. An insightful and informative weblog by
a former SAHD. Doodaddy (Doodaddy.net) A San Francisco Stay-At-
Home Dad Getting the Hang of Things. Bay Area Parent
columnist Graham Charles chronicles life as a stay-at-
home-dad to 2-year-old Fern.
East Bay Dads (eastbaydads.com) A community for
dads in the East Bay, EBD is an energetic group of fathers
with infants, toddlers, preschoolers and school-aged chil-
dren.
Mr. Dad (mrdad.com) A Web site from parenting
expert and Oakland resident Armin Brott, founder of
MrDad.com.
Dana Young
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months.
What are the frustrations of being a SAHD?
Trying to do too much, and messing up one of the boys
schedules on a daily basis.
Funniest thing said to you about being a SAHD?
Does your wife work?
Most annoying thing someone has said?
Does your wife work?
One thing you want people to know about being a
SAHD?
You are going to gain a new level of appreciation for your
mother.
Do you think society is becoming more accepting of
SAHDs?
Everyone from moms to nannies to employers thinks its
perfectly fine, but we do live in San Francisco.
How do you think it is different for SAHDs versus
SAHMs?
The work that moms do is much more likely to be taken
for granted.
Top Bay Area spots to go with your kids?
Old Mill Park in Mill Valley, West Portal/playground,
Corte Madera Town Park, and of course, Friday Night
Movie Night Party.
Dana Young is a freelance writer living in Oakland.
26 Bay Area Parent | June 2008
fathers day
66.3 million Estimated number of fathers across
the nation today. (U.S. Census Bureau)
26.4 million Number of fathers who are part of
married-couple families with their own children under
the age of 18. (U.S. Census Bureau)
159,000 Estimated number of stay-at-home dads in
2006 (U.S. Census 2007). This is up 16,000 from 2005
(143,000 at-home dads, U.S. Census 2006). These marriedfathers with children younger than 15 have remained out
of the labor force for more than one year and care prima-
rily for the family while their wives work outside the
home. According to the data:
283,000 children cared for in U.S. by SAHDs
60% had two or more children
40% had an annual family income of $50,000 or more
35% had children younger than three years of age liv-
ing with them
37% Number of men in the workforce who would
consider stay-at-home fatherhood (careerbuilder.com)
By the Numbers
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