Balanced Family Winter Issue 2015

WINTER TOPICS: FAMILY-FRIENDLY HOLIDAY EVENTS 6 | SLEDDING SAFETY 10 | WINTERIZE YOUR HOME 16

FAMILYBALANCEDMAG.COM

WINTER ISSUE | 2015BALANCED

HEALTH | WELLNESS | PARENTING | LIVINGFAMILY

BALANCEDMAG.COMWINTER ISSUE | 2015BALANCEDBALANCED

HEALTH | WELLNESS | PARENTING | LIVING

Meteorologist Betsy Kling successfully balances family life with the high-profi le demands of forecasting Northeast Ohio’s unpredictable weatherSNOW

COME

OR

OR

RAINSHINE

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Through our well-attended dinner conversations, our website and phone contacts, we are dedicatedto connecting you with a wealth of resources, support and care services for every stage of aging by combining a complete library of professional resources with Menorah Park’s expertise.www.menorahpark.org/ARC

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We know finding the right information at the right time can be challenging.

Expert Memory Tips and Tools to Strengthen our Brains

Brought to you by the Menorah Park Aging Resources Center and Menorah Park’s new Center 4 Brain Health

1. Try to make new information more meaningful and relevant2. Keep important, frequently used belongings (keys, glasses, and purse) in the same place3. Use a calendar to keep appointments organized4. Use a daily planner – make a list of daily things to be accomplished5. Protect yourself from brain injury – wear seat belts6. Stay physically active- it reduces stress, and take time to relax and meditate!7. Get a good night’s sleep (at least 6 hours)8. Use hearing aids or reading glasses if needed to maintain connection with your environment9. Continue to learn, attend classes and lectures, read books and papers, do crossword puzzles10. Write it down! It’s ok to keep a notebook or calendar handy with important information11. Switch it up! Try doing things di�erently, like putting your watch on the other wrist, (just

don’t forget where you put it)12. Diet makes a di�erence! Eat more salmon, nuts, berries and spinach, and limit red meat

WINTER 2015 | BALANCEDFAMILY | 3balancedmag.com

Feature storyCOME RAIN OR SHINE OR SNOWMeteorologist Betsy Kling successfully balances family life with the high-profi le demands of forecasting Northeast Ohio’s unpredictable weather

18

INSIDE

18

MONEY MATTERSIssues surrounding cash and credit can drive wedges between couples, but proper planning can help lessen the strain 12GETTING HOUSES IN ORDERNortheast Ohioans can better shelter themselves – and their homes – from cold and snow by winterizing their properties16

ADULTSBALANCEDCOLD HARD FACTSEditor Michael C. Butz recalls last winter’s weather while looking ahead to the coming season4

REGINA BRETTTransforming traditions: As generations pass and holidays approach, opportunities arise to rekindle, re-evaluate or replace cherished customs34

RESOLUTION RETENTIONSetting goals and developing game plans will help resolutions made in January last past February24SWEET TALKHolidays mean sugary treats will be in abundance, but sugar is present year-round and often best avoided (or closely monitored)26

BODYBALANCED

PROCRASTINATION PROBLEMSIdentifying fears and learning to go with your gut can help curb putting off important decisions28PRETTY PLEASE?Individuals who are people pleasers might experience displeasing effects as a result, but their courses can be reversed30

MINDBALANCED

HOLIDAY HAPPENINGSFamily-friendly activities abound as the holidays are upon us6SLEDDING SAFETYProtective gear, proper clothing and a safe location are among the factors to consider before leading children to the tundra10

KIDSBALANCED

WKYC-TV chief meteorologist Betsy Kling, right, and her family – from left, husband Paul Thomas, 8-month-old daughter Violette and 7-year-old daughter Josie – enjoy visiting parks, including those in downtown Cleveland.

On the cover: Cover photo and photo below by Michael C. Butz

Award-Winning Menorah Park Aging Resources CenterHelpful information at your fingertips

Powered by the experts at Menorah Park Center for Senior Living

Through our well-attended dinner conversations, our website and phone contacts, we are dedicatedto connecting you with a wealth of resources, support and care services for every stage of aging by combining a complete library of professional resources with Menorah Park’s expertise.www.menorahpark.org/ARC

Resource Hotline 216-839-6678Free Social Work Support 216-402-0895

Insurance & Social Services

Financial & Legal Information

Healthy Aging InformationMenorah Park Campus & Services

Events Sponsored by the Barbara and Earl Franklin Fund Overall Program Supported by the David N. and Inez Myers Fund

LEARNMORELEARNMORE

LEARNMORELEARNMORE

We know finding the right information at the right time can be challenging.

Expert Memory Tips and Tools to Strengthen our Brains

Brought to you by the Menorah Park Aging Resources Center and Menorah Park’s new Center 4 Brain Health

1. Try to make new information more meaningful and relevant2. Keep important, frequently used belongings (keys, glasses, and purse) in the same place3. Use a calendar to keep appointments organized4. Use a daily planner – make a list of daily things to be accomplished5. Protect yourself from brain injury – wear seat belts6. Stay physically active- it reduces stress, and take time to relax and meditate!7. Get a good night’s sleep (at least 6 hours)8. Use hearing aids or reading glasses if needed to maintain connection with your environment9. Continue to learn, attend classes and lectures, read books and papers, do crossword puzzles10. Write it down! It’s ok to keep a notebook or calendar handy with important information11. Switch it up! Try doing things di�erently, like putting your watch on the other wrist, (just

don’t forget where you put it)12. Diet makes a di�erence! Eat more salmon, nuts, berries and spinach, and limit red meat

4 | BALANCEDFAMILY | WINTER 2015 balancedmag.com

MATTERSFAMILY

Editor Michael C. [email protected]

Art Director Jon Larson

Contributing ColumnistRegina Brett

Cleveland Jewish Publication Company

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FROM EDITOR MICHAEL C. BUTZ

FAMILYBALANCED

Every winter, the weather is a favorite topic for many Northeast Ohioans.

Well, maybe “favorite” is the wrong adjective. “Most frequently discussed” is probably a better – or at least more accurate – way to describe it. And even then, it’s arguably also a generously kind description for what’s often our region’s harshest season.

For a reminder of just how harsh, we need only go back about 10 months. In February, Northeast Ohio endured one of the coldest winters on record.

According to the National Weather Service’s Cleveland bureau:• On Feb. 1-2, the most

signifi cant snowstorm of the year dumped more than a foot of snow in many places north of a line that stretched from Bowling Green to Warren;

• Morning lows were at or below 0 degrees 10 or more days during the month;

• On Feb. 15, high temperatures barely made it above 0 degrees;

• On Feb. 15-16 and Feb. 20, wind chills were as cold as minus-35 degrees, prompting all schools to close;

• On Feb. 20, the morning low of minus-17 at Cleveland was the coldest February temperature ever at that location and tied for the fourth-coldest low ever;

• For the month, average temperatures were as much as 15 degrees below normal, making February 2015 the coldest on record at all but Toledo and Akron-Canton.The winter with the most

snow? That wasn’t too long ago, either. The season that spanned 2004-05 delivered 117.9 inches of snow. The least amount of snow fell the winter of 1918-19, when (astonishingly) only 8.8 inches came down. These days, it seems like that much falls in an afternoon.

I don’t know about you, but even if we don’t experience 1918-19 levels, I’m very much in favor of a milder winter this year – at least compared to last year.

Whatever amount we get, someone who will keep us informed along the way is WKYC chief meteorologist Betsy Kling, with whom we visit for this winter issue of

Balanced Family. We largely skip talking about the weather with her (there’s all winter for that, after all) and instead get to know her and her family (including husband Paul and daughters Josie and Violette) a little better.

(Ironically, when I met them to take their photos for Balanced Family, temperatures reached into the 60s on what was an unseasonably warm day in mid-November.)

Anyway, since snow and cold in Northeast Ohio are inevitable, this issue of Balanced Family also offers a list of family-friendly holiday activities to warm you up while you’re outside; advice for keeping kids safe during sledding excursions; and tips for winterizing your home that will keep the warm air in and cold air out.

This issue of Balanced Family isn’t entirely about the season, of course, but a measurable amount of it is – as you might expect since winter and its weather is what we’ll all be talking about for months to come.

Cold hard facts

Balanced Family is produced by the Cleveland Jewish Publication Company, 23880 Commerce Park, Suite 1, Beachwood, OH 44122. For additional copies, call 216-342-5185. For general questions, call 216-454-8300.

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Holiday happeningsFamily-friendly activities abound as the holidays approach

By Kristen Mott

If you’re searching for a festive way to spend the holiday season in Northeast Ohio, you’re in luck. Every year as the weather

starts to cool down, Cleveland and Akron heat up with a variety of family-friendly events and activities. From theater shows to holiday light displays to New Year’s Eve celebrations, there’s something for everyone to enjoy during this magical time of year.

KIDSBALANCED

HOLIDAY LANTERN TOURS AT HALE FARM AND VILLAGE

Immerse yourself in the sights and sounds of Christmas past with Western Reserve Historical Society’s Holiday Lantern Tours.

During the 90-minute tour, guests will be transported to the Christmas season of 1864. Stroll through the expansive property to view decorated historic houses, meet spinners as they create holiday decorations and join in as carols are sung by candlelight.

Afterward, partake in a Victorian-era holiday party and stop by the marketplace to shop for handcrafted gifts.

DETAILSDec. 11, 12, 18-23 | Bath Townshipwrhs.org/holiday-lantern-tours

“A CHRISTMAS CAROL”An annual holiday tradition in Northeast Ohio, “A Christmas

Carol” returns to Great Lakes Theater this year. Charles Dickens’ classic tale of Ebenezer Scrooge comes

to life on stage at the Ohio Theatre in Playhouse Square. This year’s performance is adapted and directed by Gerald Freedman and staged by Sara Bruner.

Those who arrive to the theater 45 minutes before curtain time will be treated to carols sung by some of the community’s top choirs.

DECK THE HALL AT STAN HYWET HALL & GARDENSThe picturesque Stan Hywet Hall & Gardens is illuminated

with more than 800,000 lights every winter during Deck the Hall, one of Ohio’s largest holiday displays.

During a 60-minute walking tour, guests will enjoy DAZZLE, an outdoor lighting show that’s animated to new music each year, as well as an animated holiday window in the courtyard that depicts downtown Akron at dusk during the holidays circa 1920.

While exploring the property, families can enjoy live music, freshly baked gingerbread cookies, hot cocoa (for the kids), and beer and wine (for the adults).

PHOTO | STAN HYWET HALL & GARDENS

PHOTO | ROGER MASTROIANNI

DETAILSThrough Dec. 23 | Downtown Clevelandgreatlakestheater.org/tickets/shows/a-christmas-carol

DETAILSSelect nights through Jan. 2 | Akron stanhywet.org

Our doctor recommended calling Hospice of the Western Reserve after Mom’s illness caused frequent

trips to the hospital. Now we have 24/7 in-person and phone support for her bad days and many more

good ones. I’m so glad we called when we did.

Hospice of the Western Reserve’s compassionate care can reduce stressful hospital visits so you can

spend more time together as a family. It isn’t about giving up, it’s about taking control. If you or a loved one has been diagnosed with a serious illness, ask for us by name. We can make

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Our doctor recommended calling Hospice of the Western Reserve after Mom’s illness caused frequent

trips to the hospital. Now we have 24/7 in-person and phone support for her bad days and many more

good ones. I’m so glad we called when we did.

Hospice of the Western Reserve’s compassionate care can reduce stressful hospital visits so you can

spend more time together as a family. It isn’t about giving up, it’s about taking control. If you or a loved one has been diagnosed with a serious illness, ask for us by name. We can make

our first visit the same day. Call 800.707.8922 to get started.

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FIRST NIGHT AKRONRing in 2016 with First Night Akron. For the last 20 years,

downtown Akron has reveled in New Year’s Eve cheer with a family-friendly celebration of the arts.

From 6 p.m. until midnight, enjoy a range of indoor entertainment, from live music to dance to visual arts, at locations throughout downtown Akron, including the Akron Art Museum, Akron Civic Theatre, John S. Knight Center and Greystone Hall.

Just before midnight, head outdoors to join in the countdown to 2016 with a grand fireworks display.

NEW YEAR’S AT NOON AT THE CLEVELAND MUSEUM OF NATURAL HISTORY

Celebrate the start of 2016 early with the New Year’s at Noon party from 10 a.m. to 1 p.m. on New Year’s Eve.

The party takes place in the Kirtland Hall of Prehistoric Life inside the museum. Families will have the chance to make noisemakers, party hats and a take-home craft. At noon, count down to the New Year with a dinosaur egg drop. Guests can spend the rest of the afternoon exploring the museum and attending a special planetarium show.

PHOTO | KMR PHOTOGRAPHY

THE WILD DAYS OF WINTERExperience a life-sized version of the classic board game

Candy Land during the WILD Days of Winter at Penitentiary Glen Nature Center.

Guests will explore the various seasons as they move space by space around the game board. Afterward, enjoy indoor and outdoor scavenger hunts, make a “s’more-nament” craft to take home, feed chickadees outdoors and enjoy refreshments in the Snowshoe Lodge.

Families also can rent snowshoes and go on an adventure on the Nature Center’s Peppermint Trail.

GLOW AT CLEVELAND BOTANICAL GARDENNow in its fourth year, Glow transforms the Cleveland

Botanical Garden into a winter wonderland. Families can catch a ride on the Garden Express to

explore garden paths and view trees twinkling with lights and festive decorations. Afterward, warm up with a cup of hot chocolate in the Garden Café and then visit the garden’s town square to listen to Christmas carols.

Stop by Mrs. Claus’s Sweet Shoppe to snack on classic holiday candies, then take a family portrait in front of the garden’s two-story Christmas tree.

Returning to Glow this year is the gingerbread display, composed of whimsical houses and structures created by children, families and professionals across Northeast Ohio.

DETAILSThrough Jan. 3 | University Circle in Clevelandcbgarden.org/glow

NELA PARK HOLIDAY LIGHTSGeneral Electric pulls out all the stops during the holiday

season as it transforms its world headquarters in Nela Park with thousands of Christmas lights.

The holiday lights tradition dates back to 1924, and the display continues to draw numerous families from across Northeast Ohio. This year, half a million LED light bulbs will be used to create 10 display vignettes, including a miniature version of the National Christmas Tree in Washington, D.C., which is designed by GE Lighting each year.

DETAILSThrough Jan. 4 | East Clevelandgelighting.com

PHOTO | LAKE METROPARKS

DETAILSThrough Jan. 3 | Kirtlandlakemetroparks.com

DETAILSDec. 31 | University Circle in Clevelandcmnh.org

DETAILSDec. 31 | Akronfirstnightakron.org

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Wait, helmets? Yes, sledding, as casual

and fun an activity as it is, comes with plenty of risk – enough that parents might want to consider having their children wear helmets, according to Amy Zack, a family medicine doctor with The MetroHealth System in Cleveland.

“The speed of sledding is pretty substantial. We would liken it to something like skateboarding or rollerblading. It’s not going to be as fast as bike riding, but it’s still going to be pretty fast,”

Zack says. “Many (parents) have helmets in their home that they could use, but it doesn’t cross their mind as something that they should do.”

In addition to the speed of the sled, the snow underneath might not be quite as soft as it looks, particularly in oft-icy Greater Cleveland.

Helmets aren’t the only recommendation for good, safe sledding. Zack recommends that children use a sled that has them sitting upright. Lying on the sled means that every bump could send the child’s head bobbing up and down against the sled. Lying face-first or headfirst could lead to concussion, as well as neck and spinal cord injuries.

Arms and legs should be

tucked in, because a limb caught in the snow can lead to the child falling out of the sled.

Picking a good spot is critical.

Zack says that often people will sled near a street, driveway, light pole or other obstacle.

“When you have fast people and immovable objects, that’s a bad combination,” says Brian Fyfe, recreation specialist with the Cleveland Metroparks. ”You want to find a site that doesn’t have those obstacles, ones you can see and ones that are hidden.”

One classic obstacle that people often don’t anticipate is a dry patch. A clump of grass or dirt can send the sled crashing to a sudden halt and cause injury to children.

Protective gear, proper clothing and a safe location are among the factors to consider before leading children to the tundraBy Jonah L. Rosenblum

KIDSBALANCED

hat snowy, sunny afternoon might be the perfect time to pack up the sled, dress the kids in winter clothing, get their helmets out of the garage and find the nearest hill for some quality outdoors time.

Sleddingsafety


KIDSBALANCED

Fyfe recommends scouting out the hill before sledding down it – and not just from the top, since everything might not be visible from the peak.

“On your way up the hill, take a look and see what it’s like,” Fyfe says. “When you fall on the snow, if you’ve done all the things we talked about and there is nothing in the way, the impact is really diminished because you skid and slide and don’t come to a sudden stop.”

One way to take care of a lot of those questions – is there a light pole or a street or a dry patch potentially in the way? – is to go to a designated sledding facility, like those operated by Cleveland Metroparks. Such facilities might also offer warm-up facilities where children, and their parents, can thaw out and grab a hot beverage.

“The designated hills are the place to go,” Fyfe says. “Climbing out of bed is dangerous. It’s just how you manage those risks. The good news is the park has done most of that work for you.”

No matter where a child sleds, be it the most charming Metroparks hill or

the one in his or her backyard, it’s critical that a child dress properly. Simply putting on any old coat isn’t enough. That coat should be water-resistant or waterproof, Zack says, to protect against hypothermia, frostbite and other cold-related illnesses. She recommends dressing young children in “one layer more” than you would dress an adult in.

Of course, a child may toss that coat off the moment he or she gets to the hill. Don’t let your kids do that. Be the parent.

Being the parent means putting away the smartphone. This is not the time to play Angry Birds.

This is the time to make sure it’s one child per sled, that the child is (ideally) wearing his or her helmet and that the child is keeping warm.

“Parental supervision with sledding is imperative,” Zack says. “It’s up to the parent to say, ‘We’ve been out for a long time. Let’s go get warm,’ or to make sure kids are wearing their mittens, gloves and hats, items that kids often take off or lose when they’re sledding.” BF

“When you have fast people and immovable objects, that’s a bad combination. You want to fi nd a site that doesn’t have those obstacles, ones you can see and ones that are hidden.” Brian FyfeCleveland Metroparks

“Parental supervision with sledding is imperative. It’s up to the parent to say, ‘We’ve been out for a long time. Let’s go get warm,’ or to make sure kids are wearing their mittens, gloves and hats, items that kids often take off or lose when they’re sledding.”Amy ZackThe MetroHealth System

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What’s critical to painting a healthy financial picture is that couples not bring debt to a marriage, Gottlieb says. It’s also critical that the financial

picture the couple paints accord with its needs, both in basis and outlook.

Making these kinds of points can be touchy, he suggests. For him, as a financial adviser, the trick lies in how he handles the situation – and the situation is always different.

For the couple, it’s the way each party reacts – in harmony, hopefully. Gottlieb admits that over the years, he’s lost some clients.

hen it comes to money, couples must regard it realistically, says David Gottlieb, a financial

adviser with Edward Jones in Pepper Pike. The reality can be harsh, but it also can be better

than the couple might anticipate.

ADULTSBALANCED

Money MattersIssues surrounding cash and credit can drive wedges between couples, but proper planning can help lessen the strainBy Carlo Wolff

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“We have never used a home-care aide before but a situation was going on that really was getting to be too much for me as the caregiver for both my mom and dad. Finally, I contacted Right At Home and they came over the same day to assess the situation. We decided to hire them to care for my mom, who was recovering from a hospital visit and has early stages of Alzheimer’s. The aide who came over was very responsive and helpful and soon had everything running like a well-oiled machine. She did exercises with my mom, helped her to shower, she cleaned, did laundry, made sure my mom was eating her lunch and drinking water. She organized areas of the bedrooms, kitchen and dining room to make it easier for my mom to find things. Most importantly, my mom said she loved Aiyana and thought she had a great personality. Both she and my dad really enjoyed her visits. The entire experience, from the great service provided by the caregiver to the office staff was a very stress-free, easy and helpful process. Last but not least it seemed to me to be very affordable for such a high quality of care.” - Bev Miller, Shaker Hts., OH

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“We have never used a home-care aide before but a situation was going on that really was getting to be too much for me as the caregiver for both my mom and dad. Finally, I contacted Right At Home and they came over the same day to assess the situation. We decided to hire them to care for my mom, who was recovering from a hospital visit and has early stages of Alzheimer’s. The aide who came over was very responsive and helpful and soon had everything running like a well-oiled machine. She did exercises with my mom, helped her to shower, she cleaned, did laundry, made sure my mom was eating her lunch and drinking water. She organized areas of the bedrooms, kitchen and dining room to make it easier for my mom to find things. Most importantly, my mom said she loved Aiyana and thought she had a great personality. Both she and my dad really enjoyed her visits. The entire experience, from the great service provided by the caregiver to the office staff was a very stress-free, easy and helpful process. Last but not least it seemed to me to be very affordable for such a high quality of care.” - Bev Miller, Shaker Hts., OH


ADULTSBALANCED

Primerica, an insurance agency with offi ces in Beachwood, Cleveland Heights, Lakewood and Strongsville, has developed a brochure,

“marriage & money.” Subtitled “Setting Up Your Financial Household,” it begins with budgetary advice, stressing the need to set up a budget encompassing these fi ve components:

• Housing (mortgage or rent/utilities/insurance/taxes/maintenance): 35 percent

• Transportation (car payments/insurance/tag or license/maintenance/fuel/parking and transit): 20 percent

• Debt (student loans/retail installment contracts/credit cards/personal loans/tax debts/medical debts): 15 percent

• Other (food/clothing/entertainment/child care/medical expenses/charity): 20 percent

• Savings (“Pay yourself fi rst!” is the advice): 10 percent

SOURCE: Primerica

“marriage & money.” Subtitled “Setting Up Your

“I’m not always the bearer of good news,” he says. “My job is to put people’s life into reality, so they’re not always going to like what I have to say because it’s uncomfortable when they have to change.”

Changing one’s money habits can be challenging. After all, it’s known as the root of all evil. At the same time, it’s known for the good it can do.

Money is cash (though ever less so). It’s plastic. It’s alternative currency (that’s its own story). It’s disappointment. It’s potential. It’s hope.

All these aspects fi gure in Gottlieb’s money counsel.

“What I do for a living is all psychology,” he says. “Money has a way of just scaring people. It’s the most important thing they need to spend time on and the least amount of time they spend. It’s a hard topic because everybody’s used to spending money but they have a hard time thinking about saving money. And there’s this fear of not having enough or not feeling they have enough.”

The psychological aspect is the hard part, he says, and it takes up 80 percent of Gottlieb’s time. The easy part, he says, is managing the investments.

MEDIA OVERLOADOne reason money

instills such fear is that

couples are barraged with information and advice. That assault – largely mounted through the media – makes it ever more imperative to have a face-to-face conversation, he suggests.

“The reason money scares people is there’s so much information out there and so many people telling them what they need that people become confused,” Gottlieb says. The fi nancial advice industry in which he’s a player tends to create “failure because … the big people are telling you that you need a million dollars to retire but you don’t really know until you meet with them how much they really do need to retire.

“Everybody’s needs and wants are different, so as the industry is trying to push everybody to go online, now’s the time more than ever to actually sit down and talk to somebody.”

He asks his clients questions for two reasons: to get them to think about their fi nancial needs, assets and debits, and to realistically assess their own situation, which might be better than expected.

The key concerns are debt and cash. Both must be managed.

“You can have debt if you have cash that allows you to buy things; if you don’t have cash, then you just get into debt,” he says. “We

never educate anybody about cash, so there are times you’re going to use debt as a tool (like for big purchases) but instead most people use debt to buy things they shouldn’t have.

“Each individual’s cash fl ow ability to handle debt is more the issue than the amount.”

MONEY SCHOOLIf a couple plans to have

children, they have to plan ahead because children “aren’t cheap,” Gottlieb says. Children must be taught the value of a dollar, starting when they are 8 or 9 years old and can grasp the money concept.

Some issues should remain private, he says, but teaching them about stocks or saving money for a family trip is fi ne. Making the lesson hands-on can

help. So does the notion of personal investment.

When his daughter was nearly 16, she expressed a desire to have a car of her own. So Gottlieb sent her to several car dealers to see what they would offer, and she learned that “the one who was going to call her back never did; she also learned she didn’t understand 90 percent of what another guy told her, but we also told her that she was going to have to put some of her own skin in the game, that some of her money would have to go as some of the down payment for the car.

“You could see her mind change when she saw the cost of a new car,” Gottlieb says. She ended up buying a two-year-old car with 17,000 miles, using some of her bat mitzvah money. “She owns four tires.” BF


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Anyone who’s lived in the area for any length of time knows Cleveland winters can be both brutal and unpredictable. Last winter, the cold was especially harsh, and this year may usher in more of the same

frigid conditions, including snow accumulations you need a yardstick to measure, thanks to lake-effect conditions Lake Erie delivers.

However, if the proper steps are taken, residents can shield themselves from

ADULTSBALANCED

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wo words often come to mind when winter approaches in Northeast Ohio: “Not again!”

Getting houses in orderNortheast Ohioans can better shelter themselves – and their homes – from cold and snow by winterizing their properties


ADULTSBALANCED

some of those elements. How? By winterizing their homes before the worst of the weather arrives.

Daunting though that may sound, those steps can turn out to be relatively simple with help from local handymen.

ROOFINGOne of the biggest

problems with roofs during the winter is the leakage of water underneath the roof onto the plywood. That’s a problem that can be fixed, though, says Steve Goldberg of Goldie Properties in Solon.

“Have heat cables installed on top of your roof to keep things from running down into the gutter and freezing,” he says. “Heat cables are especially

necessary for houses with a steep pitch on their roof.”

The buildup in gutters can freeze during the winter, leading to eventual leaks in the roof. “The most basic thing everyone should do is make sure their gutters are clean,” he says.

DRIVEWAYSTransportation difficulties

are among the biggest concerns that accompany Northeast Ohio winters – and those difficulties can start in the driveway.

When roadways fill with snow, that snow can become icy if not dealt with as soon as possible, says John Neff, owner of Neff Landscaping in Mayfield Heights.

“Plowing should be done every 2 inches of snow so ice doesn’t build up,” he says. “Some houses, like those in Cleveland Heights, have narrow driveways, which need a Jeep rather than a truck as their plow.”

Neff says that without the proper size plow, trucks may hit the house they are trying to plow due to limited space.

LANDSCAPINGWhen it comes to lawns,

Neff lists irrigation systems among the top concerns.

“You have to make sure to blow compressed air through the irrigation system,” he says, explaining the compressed air is to make sure there is no water throughout the system

because the water could freeze and crack the pipes.

Neff also recommends shrubbery should be tended to in a timely manner.

“Make sure to prune certain plants before winter sets in,” he says, adding that certain perennials need to be cut all the way down so they have a chance to bloom in the spring.

Lastly, Neff advises cutting grass closer than normal as winter approaches.

“Lawns should be cut lower than usual for the wintertime,” he says, explaining that with grass continually growing throughout winter, there’s a risk of the grass becoming too long and getting matted with snow. BF

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SNOW

COME

OR

ORMeteorologist Betsy Kling successfully balances family life with the high-profi le demands of forecasting Northeast Ohio’s unpredictable weather

WKYC-TV chief meteorologist Betsy Kling, left, and her family – 7-year-old daughter Josie, husband Paul Thomas and 8-month-old daughter Violette – enjoy visiting parks, including Mall B in downtown Cleveland.

RAINSHINE


ucked into a corner of WKYC-TV’s studio in downtown Cleveland is a meteorology technology hub. Ten computer screens, all arranged in a circle, light up with warnings and vibrant colors of impending weather systems.

This hub is where you’ll often fi nd Betsy Kling, the local NBC affi liate’s striking, sharp-witted and congenial chief meteorologist. The 40-year-old spends many afternoons jumping from computer to computer, analyzing storm fronts as they move across Northeast Ohio and preparing forecasts for the station’s evening newscasts.

But when she isn’t dealing with the region’s often tumultuous weather, Kling can be found at another busy hub – her home in one of Cleveland’s southwestern suburbs.

There, things that light up and feature vibrant colors are more likely toys belonging to one of her daughters, 7-year-old Josie or 8-month-old Violette, and the screen she pays attention to is likely one she watches while on the couch with her husband of 16 years, former WKYC reporter Paul Thomas.

On top of that, Kling stays involved in the community by heading educational initiatives and helping local charities.

With a schedule that rivals a mid-spring forecast for whirlwind activity, Kling has mastered balancing life at work and home – enjoying every minute along the way.

Kling and Josie play a hand-clapping game Josie calls “Avocado.”


CONQUERING HER FEARSFrom winning multiple

local Emmys to recently being named the eighth recipient of the Press Club of Cleveland’s prestigious Chuck Heaton Award, Kling has made a name for herself as a meteorologist.

Ironically, though, she was terrifi ed of thunderstorms and tornadoes while growing up in Copley Township.

“I approached studying (meteorology) with a fear factor, but I found out that the more I studied, the more I started to realize that it fi lled a niche for me. I think it serves as a benefi t for me now because I have empathy,” Kling says.

So how did she go from that to earning a National Weather Association Weathercaster Seal of Approval?

It started in college. After graduating from

Copley High School in 1993, Kling enrolled at Bowling Green State University intending to become a fourth-grade teacher – but she quickly realized education wasn’t right for her.

So, she switched over to journalism, and as part of her liberal arts degree, she was required to take a lab science. She registered for a meteorology class, based on a friend’s recommendation.

“It was probably the hardest class I’ve ever taken, but it was completely fascinating,” Kling recalls. “I cried at every test. At the fi nal exam my professor bought me a box of tissues. That tells you quite a bit.”

Kling graduated from BGSU in 1997 with a degree in journalism and a minor in meteorology.

She then moved to Fort Wayne, Ind., where she began working weekends at WKJG-TV, an NBC affi liate, while fi nishing meteorology classes online at Mississippi State University.

From Fort Wayne, Kling went to Jacksonville, Fla. to work weekends for the NBC affi liate there. She debuted on WKYC in Cleveland on St. Patrick’s Day 2003, working weekends until moving to weeknights in November 2007.

For Kling, empathy serves as an important function in her career.

“I’ve been that kid on the couch watching the news because I was terrifi ed and I didn’t know what to do,” she says. “For an afternoon when we have an active weather day, it’s kind of cool to be a substitute mom for those kids. Maybe I help them out that way a little bit.”

Kling’s sense of compassion came into play a few years ago when a derecho, or large windstorm, threatened Northeast Ohio. After signing off from the 11 p.m. newscast, Kling stayed at the station intending to go back on air at 2 a.m., the time she determined the storm would hit Greater Cleveland.

She believed people would wake up during the storm – and she was right.

“Our ratings at 2 a.m. were higher than our 6 p.m. newscast. People heard the thunder, heard the wind, and got up and turned their televisions on. And we were the only ones there,” Kling says. “Maybe that was the

kid who was scared on the couch coming out in me and saying, ‘I know people will be wondering what’s going on.’”

STARTING A FAMILYIt was in Fort Wayne that

Kling met Thomas. The Fort Wayne native had been working at WKJG as a reporter when Kling was hired to do the weekend weather.

“The fi rst week Betsy was there, she was watching on set as I ran down (at the) last second to be on air for a story that I was reporting on. My hair was just totally out of control, and as I was walking off set Betsy said something along the lines of, ‘It’s nice to see you have your hair under control,’” Thomas says. “Everyone is always picking on me for my hair, and she apologized later for the comment. Things just sort of took of from there and I became interested the more I started talking to her.”

About a year after Kling arrived, Thomas landed a weekend anchor job, which resulted in the two talking even more.

Kling and her family stroll past the Cleveland Convention Center in downtown Cleveland.

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“Betsy is always willing to try new things. She would talk to me about how she had traveled to Italy in college, and that was so interesting to me that she had done that because I wouldn’t just have picked up and traveled abroad, let alone (to) a place where I didn’t know the language very well,” he says. “But if she sees something and wants to try it, she does it. That’s the total opposite of me. We had a great deal in common and a lot to talk about.”

Kling and Thomas married while in Fort Wayne, but it was after they moved to Cleveland that their family started to grow.

“Three days after I got the phone call that I was moving to weeknights (at WKYC), I found out that I was pregnant with my oldest daughter, Josie,” Kling says. “It didn’t seem like it was the best time at the time, but it ended up working out great.

“All of Northern Ohio got to see me blossom and grow, and it was actually kind of a bonding thing. Josie ended up having lots of aunts and uncles and grandmas and grandpas all across the area who were interested in her.”

Kling made a point of spending as much time as possible with Josie when she was young, because once she started school, Kling knew it would be hard to see Josie throughout the day with her work schedule. Now that Josie is in grade school, Kling says technology has been a lifesaver.

“We try to Skype every night. Some days are quicker than others, but I always try to catch up on her day. She’ll also send me text messages or pictures using my husband’s phone,” Kling says.

Thomas has been a big help with the children. He made the decision to leave the newsroom to become a full-time stay-at-home dad when Josie was about 3 years old.

“That was a big adjustment for him, but it’s worked out beautifully,” Kling says. “It’s funny how he’s changed throughout the whole process, because he’s an award-winning journalist and really into hard news and investigative reporting, and now there are days when I’m filling him in on what’s going on in the world. It’s been quite the change.”

Although it’s been a change of pace, Thomas says he’s happy with his decision to leave the reporting world behind and focus on his family.

“When I asked Betsy’s dad for permission to marry her, I promised him I would help her go as far as she could in her career,” Thomas says. “I felt that Betsy had more talent than I did. I still feel that way. Not to say that I wasn’t talented, but I thought she could do more.

“Betsy is also good about work pressure and she’s able to separate work and home much better than I was able to.”

One mOre makes fOurEarlier this year, Kling and

Thomas welcomed Violette into the world. With Josie in school, Kling spends her mornings with Violette before heading to the studio.

“It’s been really fun getting to relive a lot of the stuff that happened with Josie now with Violette. She’ll do something and we’ll remember when Josie used to do it. It’s fun to see how similar she is to Josie, but then how different she is too,” she says.

Having a little sister took some adjustment for Josie, who began experiencing bouts of anxiety shortly after Violette was born, Kling says.

“Josie was having acid reflux and we were worried that something was physically wrong with her,” she says. “It turned out that was just the way the anxiety manifested. She was still very much Josie – dynamic, cute and personable – but she didn’t know how to verbalize her anxiety.”

Following advice from their pediatrician, Kling and Thomas one day simply asked Josie how she was feeling.

“She just broke down and started crying and said she didn’t feel like she fit in the family anymore,” Kling says. “That was heartbreaking. That moment really changed both Paul and I to understand that we need to do a better job of balancing things and keep everyone in line and really focus on the big picture of the family.”

Since then, Josie has fully embraced being a big sister and often reads or sings with Violette.

“Violette adores Josie. It’s so cute to watch their relationship grow,” Kling says. “Josie is such a cool kid. She’s very independent, strong, smart, and a little sassy, and she’ll let me know if she needs some alone time with me.”

Balancing her timeBetween working full-

time and raising two young daughters, Kling devotes herself to a number of charities and nonprofits, including the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society, American Red Cross, American Heart Association and University Hospitals Rainbow Babies and Children’s Hospital.

She also organizes fundraisers to support National Weather Association college scholarships for aspiring meteorologists, and she produces WKYC’s Weather Education Day every year in partnership with the Cleveland Indians.

“A big part of establishing yourself in a place is finding out what you care about. You can move somewhere and just live there, work there and then go do something else. But I truly want to be a part of my community and I want to get to know the people who are on the other side of the camera,” Kling says. “To me, there is no greater compliment than when a total stranger walks up and says they watch me all the time and gives me a handshake or a hug. It’s a really big honor for someone to come out of their comfort zone and do that.”

With such a crazy schedule, Kling says family time has become more and more precious. Once a week, the four go out to dinner together, and weekends are filled with family outings like trips to the zoo or park.

Kling says planning ahead enables the entire family to look forward to quality time together, and it gives Kling a chance to forget about her other responsibilities for a little while.

“I definitely don’t want to shortchange Josie and Violette, and balance is hard to achieve,” Kling says. “There are days that I feel like I’ve completely fallen off the wagon or not just balanced in any way, shape or form.

“It becomes a matter of focusing on priorities and letting the rest of the stuff go. Our life is pretty hectic, but also pretty fun.” Bf

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It shines like a beacon – 2016 is the year in which everything will be different. Finally, that three-times-a-week gym routine will work out. Finally, those 10 pounds will be dropped.

Then, March rolls around. The necessary determination and drive have faded. Monday turned into the Cleveland Cavaliers on the couch. Tuesday turned into pizza with the family. Wednesday brought a blizzard. Thursday was a sleepy night, as in

crawling straight into bed. Friday ended up on East Fourth Street in downtown Cleveland.

Somehow, that beautiful New Year’s resolution faded. Again.

It doesn’t have to be like this.

New Year’s resolutions don’t have to end like a Cleveland Browns season of late – in despair and disappointment.

Part of it is expectation setting. The Browns aren’t going to go 16-0. You’re not

going to be perfect on your New Year’s resolution. The question is: When you lose, how do you respond?

“You’re going to have bad weeks and sometimes you’re going to have to accept that,” says Rich Zatta, fitness center and personal training manager at the Mandel Jewish Community Center in Beachwood. “Don’t linger on it. The week’s over.”

“Whether you stumble, whether you fall, pick yourself up and get going,”

says Ramon Alexander, certified personal trainer at Planet Fitness Solon.

Sometimes it will turn into a grind.

“I tell that to all of my clients, you have to want it,” Alexander says.

As Zatta points out, the first four letters of workout are “work” – with good reason.

“Honestly, try to stick to that goal as much as possible,” Alexander says. ”A lot of people become too flexible and they fall short of

It’s New Year’s Eve.

Resolutionretention Setting goals and

developing game plans will help resolutions made in January last past February

By Jonah L. Rosenblum


BODYBALANCED

the overall goals that they’re trying to achieve.”

So there’s no such thing as a perfect resolution, but some resolutions are better than others.

Realism is key.Many of the people who

set New Year’s resolutions are people who might as well be on their gym’s “missing persons” list – if they belong to a gym at all. People returning to the gym after a long siesta need to mount a gradual buildup.

Going too intense from the start can lead to an unwanted result – deep soreness and ultimately the abandonment of the dream.

“You don’t want to put everything into your very fi rst workout or two or three workouts,” Zatta says. “You’ve got to leave the gym feeling like you accomplished something, but you’ve also got to leave the gym thinking you could have done more.”

“As you become more frequent in the gym, it’s going to naturally progress,” Alexander adds. “You’re going to start looking forward to coming to the gym as opposed to shying away from it.”

How can you tell? You shouldn’t be sore the next day, Zatta says. You should instead feel it 48 hours later.

You certainly don’t want to turn the gym into a traumatic experience, one that you’ll never repeat.

Heck, make it fun. Reward a successful workout with a trip to the basketball court or the hot tub. Give yourself as much reason as possible to come back.

“You would defi nitely

want to make the experience each time you come in as fun and comfortable as possible,” Alexander says.

The strong planning shouldn’t necessarily end with setting a goal. It’s more about setting a game plan. How are you going to make three gym trips a week work? When will you actually go? If you’re looking to change your eating patterns as well, when will you prepare your meals?

“Planning is going to ultimately get you there,” Alexander says.

One great way to keep the current going is through successful measuring and tracking. The obvious example is with a weight-loss goal, where you can step on a scale and easily chart how far along you are toward it. But no matter your goal, you want to fi gure out some way of ascertaining progress.

Beyond tracking what you have done, set benchmarks for where you want to be. If you’re working on your aerobic game, sign up for a 5K or a marathon. That will keep you pointed forward.

“By recording your progress and what you do, it helps motivate you along the way,” Zatta says. “You’ve got to have something in front of you that you can follow.”

For some people, it helps having someone beside them as well.

“Some people honestly need that extra push and that’s where a personal trainer or fi tness instructor like myself comes into play,” Alexander says. “We are the motivation that some people need.” BF

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The reasons to engage with this issue are manifold. The average American eats the equivalent of about 21 teaspoons of added sugar a day, about two-and-a-half to three times more than guidelines say they should, according to a recent survey

published in the Journal of the American Medical Association.

Excess sugar is known to contribute to obesity, diabetes and other conditions linked to heart disease, WebMD reports, adding that the connection between heart disease and added sugar has been revealed in research that found excess sugar leads to unhealthy cholesterol and triglyceride levels. In fact, eating large amounts of added sugar more than tripled the risk of having low HDL, a major factor in heart disease.

So how much added sugar is the right amount?

“The lowest amount

possible,” says Heather Butscher, a registered dietitian and nutritionist with University Hospitals. That could be as little as five grams per day.

“Any amount only creates a temptation for more,” explains Butscher. This is due to the way the body processes sugar. Once it enters the bloodstream, it creates a cascade of events, one of which impacts neurotransmitters and creates a calming effect, she says.

Added sugar is no stranger to being parked in what starts out as healthy foods either. Trail mix with dried fruit? The dried fruit can be a culprit. Instant oatmeal, yogurt,

BODYBALANCED

talkSweetHolidays mean sugary treats will be in abundance, but sugar is present year-round and often best avoided (or closely monitored)

By June Scharf

utting back on added sugar is always a popular topic. But how to accomplish cutting back is an ongoing inner dialogue, one that consumers should have with themselves as they evaluate every product they intend to ingest. What’s

lurking within is what consumers must know.


BODYBALANCED

canned fruit, breakfast bars, peanut butter and “healthy” cereals all fall prey to added sugar, too. In each case, consumers can substitute a more natural version, Butscher advises. Yogurt and oatmeal are best eaten plain, with fruit added for fl avor. Peanut butter, or any nut butter, is sold in natural, no-added-sugar versions.

Other common foods in which sugar is found include condiments like marinara sauce, barbeque sauce, salad dressings and ketchup. Butscher suggests substituting oil and vinegar, both of which can be found with a range of fl avorful infusions, for salad dressing. Marinades might be swapped for marinara, as long as the sugar content is low, and oil combined with fresh herbs works well, too.

When it comes to sugar substitutes, Butscher recommends moderation. “The problem is that sweeteners further condition you for sweetness,” she says. But they can be used as a partial replacement for sugar when baking. With the sweetener Equal, a measure-for-measure replacement works, but it loses its sweetness when heated, so it might be added afterward, if possible.

Some are better off dodging added sugar altogether. “I take people down to nothing for those who crave it,” Butscher says.

Beverages fall victim to added sugar, too, but some of those that do might come as a surprise. Enhanced water, iced tea, energy drinks, bottled coffee and store-bought smoothies all have seven or

eight teaspoons of added sugar. Butscher also points out that enhanced water often has added sodium, which can create more thirst. She advises drinking water at a rate of two to three glasses before lunch and two to three before dinner.

The key is to look at product labels and study the list of ingredients. Sugar, however, has many aliases, which consumers need to understand and recognize as not desirable. They include honey, molasses, high-fructose corn syrup, dried cane syrup, invert molasses, sucrose (or any word ending in “-ose”), brown rice syrup, fruit juice concentrate and maltodextrin.

An additional method to add fl avor while avoiding sugar is to try extracts like almond, vanilla, orange or

lemon. Also, spices can punch up the possibilities – allspice, cinnamon and nutmeg are popular choices.

When it comes to hunger and regulating blood sugar, with spikes and drops causing an increased appetite, Butscher recommends adding protein, healthy fats and fi ber to slow down the release of blood sugar and keep one full longer. “The idea is to slow down the thermal effect of eating by affecting the way food is processed.”

Butscher has witnessed how the reduction in added sugar has resulted in greater dietary satisfaction: “Once people cut back, they experience greater contentment and fewer cravings.” BF

June Scharf is a freelance writer from Beachwood.


7w x 4.75h

©


Don’t beat yourself up but don’t just sit

there, either. Take action – and take responsibility for that action.

Those orders are easy to set down but hard to follow, say psychologists who deal with procrastination. Making a decision, after all, is the antithesis of procrastination, a kind of paralysis that strikes people at school, at work, in the family – in life in general.

Cut the issue that scares you down to size. Then execute on each part of the issue. And as you do so, take it easy on yourself.

The fear that traps you in indecisiveness can be overcome bit by bit, these experts say.

And go with your gut. At least learn to trust your gut.

Decisions involving school seem especially fraught with procrastination. Rich Weisberg, a psychologist with an office in Lyndhurst, is familiar with the subject.

“Just because I am a psychologist does not mean that I am immune to procrastination,” he writes in an email. “When I was preparing to do my master’s thesis as part of my doctoral degree requirements, I had never taken on a research project so large. I was intimidated by it. I was so worried about picking the perfect topic and pleasing all my professors that I did nothing on it for an entire summer. I would sit in my apartment on weekends, and instead of going to the library to do research, I would sit on the sofa watching reruns of ‘The Real World’ on MTV.”

A cloud seemed to hang over his head as he stewed in indecision. The solution was to

MINDBALANCED

Procrastinationproblems

Identifying fears and learning to go with your gut can help curb putting off important decisions

By Carlo Wolff


MINDBALANCED

break down the problem into pieces, leading to small actions he could execute.

“Eventually, just as I advise my clients now, I made a list of what needed to be done and then broke it down into the smallest manageable parts,” Weisberg continues. “Just putting it down on paper and seeing it allowed me to pull out the smallest possible piece and begin to work on it. I no longer had to think about doing everything all at once.

“Once the momentum got started, and I saw that I could do it, it was just a matter of doing each item in a systematic way. I’m not perfect with avoiding procrastination, but I am much better with it and much more compassionate with myself when I do.”

Michelle Martin, founder and director of the Insight Learning & Wellness Center in Warrensville Heights, says procrastination is primarily based on fear.

“(Procrastinating) means you’re avoiding decisions out of a fear of making the wrong decision or fear of failure,” the licensed school psychologist said in a telephone interview. “There is the issue of making the wrong decision and not trusting your own judgment. … That goes back to a lot of self-doubt, which usually comes from childhood.”

The three roots of procrastination are fear of failure; fear of inability to tackle a task; and “a brain-dominant, rather than a brain-balanced, approach,” she says.

One way people avoid action is to rely on a right-brain, analytical approach, Martin suggests. That’s not enough.

“The intuitive piece is really what we try to coach people in,” she says. “You can help

them with fear of failure, you can help the person who gets caught up in the task becoming too tedious; they’re thinking too globally about the difficulty of the task and they’re not breaking it down into something they can manage. That means they’re relying too much on the right brain.”

Deciding to marry, for example, is a gut issue, Martin suggests. “When you’re facing what you feel is the person you’re going to marry, then you start finding all the reasons this person isn’t necessarily the best person for you; there is no one perfect person, so if you aren’t able to go back to your gut intuitive sense, you become upset, and obsess on the pros and cons so much you find nobody is good enough.

“Marriage is as tricky as ever, and if we let the fear of failure stop us, we are denying ourselves the opportunity to try. Half of them fail nowadays. So we’re not giving it a fair chance at success.” Marriage looms especially large for children of divorce, she adds.

Choosing the right college, too, should be a gut matter, she indicates. If you feel good walking the campus and the place feels like home, go for it. Don’t second-guess yourself by being too analytical so you wind up going to “a different school and never feeling at home. You don’t run from what feels right usually.”

Take a balanced approach; start analytical, then “let your gut kick in for the final decision,” Martin advises.

To Weisberg, decisions come in all sizes. Among others, they encompass cleaning the house, changing jobs, ending unhealthy relationships and taking care of

one’s aging parents.“I think by their nature,

any key decisions should involve extended thought and consideration,” he says. “I think the point at which it starts to have negative consequences by not acting and procrastinating is where I tend to work with patients mostly by helping them see the impact in not acting.

However, I help them to see the pattern and work with them on identifying ways of moving forward and making those decisions. I think the key piece is not to label it as procrastination, as it has such a negative connotation. Most people who procrastinate have enough guilt and shame anyway. I try not to add onto that.” BF

“(Procrastinating) means you’re avoiding decisions out of a fear of making the wrong decision or fear of failure. There is the issue of making the wrong decision and not trusting your own judgment. … That goes back to a lot of self-doubt, which usually comes from childhood.”Michelle MartinInsight Learning & Wellness Center

“I think by their nature, any key decisions should involve extended thought and consideration. I think the point at which it starts to have negative consequences by not acting and procrastinating is where I tend to work with patients mostly by helping them see the impact in not acting.”Rich WeisbergLyndhurst psychologist


MINDBALANCED

“Folks who are people pleasers are more focused on the welfare and needs of others than they are on their own needs,” says Eric Berko, psychologist and owner of Berko Psychological

Associates in Solon. “These are people

who sacrifi ce their own needs for

others.”Megan

Bush, director of clinical services for

Highland Springs, a behavioral health hospital in Highland Hills, says people pleasers tend to overcommit to things they don’t feel comfortable doing or don’t have time to do.

“They tend to be anxious people, maybe with low self-value, so they’re always seeking validation from others, which is why they tend to engage in things they feel uncomfortable doing,” she says. “They tend to have a hard time taking initiative. They avoid confl ict and avoid saying

no. They have a very weak sense of identity, so they’re trying to be what other people want them to be.”

Berko says people pleasers often give loans to people who don’t have money; they may drop what they’re doing to drive someone across town; or they may fail to get their own work done so that someone else will not be unhappy.

“People pleasers are not getting their own needs met,” he says. “They may feel lonely

PrettyIndividuals who are people pleasers might experience displeasing effects as a result, but their courses can be reversed

By Ed Wittenberg

PrettyPrettyPrettyPrettyplease?

re you a people pleaser? If you have trouble saying no and spend a lot of time doing things for others, you may be.


MINDBALANCED

in a relationship, and they may become exhausted in trying to help everyone else all the time.

“They may have low self-esteem, feeling bad about themselves for not being able to say no and not being able to set limits. They may fi nd themselves being what some would consider a doormat. If everyone knows you’re never going to say no or set any limits, then they’re going to use you.”

Bush says that over time, people pleasers can grow resentful, which can lead to “passive-aggressive behaviors.”

“That can lead to further straining your relationships; they don’t have a healthy, reciprocal sort of relationship,” she says. “It’s ironic because people get into this people-pleasing habit to be liked and to avoid confl ict, but what ends up happening is more of a confl ict is created because resentment that builds up over time ends up creating passive-aggressive behaviors, and that strains the relationship.”

Berko, also director of behavioral science in the department of family medicine at MetroHealth Medical Center in Cleveland, says that when it comes to family relationships, if people don’t speak their minds, no one is going to know what they want.

“So your spouse may run the house,” he says. “And if you never say no to your children, you’re never going to teach them anything. They need structure, limits and boundaries. They need to know their parents can say no, that they have strong opinions about things and that there are consequences.”

So what can people pleasers do to reduce their tendency to please others? Berko says behavior change is very hard, and one should not expect to “pull the switch and suddenly be good at something you haven’t had a lot of practice with.”

“The fi rst step is to practice being decisive,” he says. “Start with simple things like, ‘What kind of food do I want for dinner? Do I like the red toothbrush or the blue toothbrush?’ Practice having a backbone and stating your opinions.

“Second, start by changing the word ‘yes’ to ‘maybe.’ It will give you some room before just agreeing to something. Once you get comfortable with those, you can start practicing saying no and then sticking to it.”

At Highland Springs, dialectical behavior therapy – a type of cognitive-behavioral psychotherapy developed in the late 1980s by psychologist Marsha Linehan – is often used for treatment of this issue.

“An important component of DBT is interpersonal effectiveness,” Bush says. “This teaches people how to effectively and unemotionally relate to other people, especially in terms of expressing needs and feelings and being able to do that while avoiding confl ict. It’s one model we use.”

Another approach, Bush says, deals with a “psychodynamic theory” that would help the person recognize why he or she behaves this way.

“It explores their close relationships and their upbringing and helps them understand why they started behaving this way,” she says.

“The third thing is we would help them create an identity,” Bush adds. “A lot of these people don’t have a strong sense of identity, so we help them fi gure out who they are, what they want and what a good relationship feels like to them.”

Berko points out there are some positive effects of being

a people pleaser.“They tend to be viewed

as someone who is very nice, someone who is kind and gracious, and someone who is helpful,” he says. “The world would be a better place if it were fi lled with people pleasers. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way.” BF

FAMILY MEMBERS CAN HELP

Highland Springs, a behavioral health hospital in Highland Hills, promotes family involvement in therapy for people pleasers who seek to stop that behavior.

“It’s one of the primary ways family members can help,” says Megan Bush, director of clinical services for Highland Springs. “Being involved in therapy will give them education around why their family member behaves that way and also helps them to understand ways they can interact with them that will most likely lead to an alleviation of symptoms.”

Eric Berko, psychologist and owner of Berko Psychological Associates in Solon, says if the people pleaser has a spouse or partner, it can help to let the signifi cant other know he or she wants to reduce the tendencies.

“They can help you practice making decisions and saying no,” he says. “If you and your partner have children, the partner should agree with you in front of the children when you take a stand. It’s about supporting your partner.”

– Ed Wittenberg

FAMILY MEMBERS

“(People pleasers) may have low self-esteem, feeling bad about themselves for not being able to say no and not being able to set limits. They may fi nd themselves being what some would consider a doormat. If everyone knows you’re never going to say no or set any limits, then they’re going to use you.”Eric BerkoBerko Psychological Associates

Menorah Park’s New Center 4 Brain HealthHelps Community Strengthen the Mind—Challenge the Memory

Think of Menorah Park’s new Center 4 Brain Health as a Memory University or College of the Brain. We provide brain aerobics classes, vocational and volunteer opportunities for individuals with memory or thinking concerns, memory status screenings and assessments, support groups, and a brain health information resource center.

The overall goal of all our programming is to provide older adults who live in the community support, assessments, and classes to engage in a brain-healthy lifestyle.

Classes o�ered at the Center are designed to strengthen participant’s memory, teach meditation exercises, strengthen problem-solving skills, and help them master stress relief techniques, all designed to improve memory and cognition. Classes are fun and interactive, and are o�ered weekdays at 11:00 a.m. Check the Center’s website for a schedule at www.center4brainhealth.org.

Center 4 Brain Health Director, Krystal L. Culler stated, “Menorah Park is committed to provide individualized, structured, regular volunteer and vocational opportunities for persons with concerns about their memory and thinking skills in a supportive environment. Our vast array of volunteer and vocational opportunities promotes engagement and socialization in meaningful experiences for participants. This is a unique program to our Center 4 Brain Health.”

If you’ve been more forgetful or have trouble concentrating or di�culty performing familiar tasks, recalling words, or forget why you entered a room, it may be time for a visit and a free memory screening. “Our memory assessments and free memory screenings are conducted utilizing a variety of tools to help participants understand their current cognition and how our programs can support their individual needs and brain health goals,” she said. “Memory screenings are an initial step toward �nding out if an individual would bene�t from further medical tests.”

Care partners for individuals with memory and thinking concerns are invited to attend our Care Partner Support Group on Tuesday, January 12, 2016 at 6:00 p.m. This free event provides an opportunity to connect with other care partners, share experiences, and receive information about our monthly topic – New Year, New You .

The Center is a valuable resource for anyone who wishes to remain mentally active and resourceful. The Brain Health Information Resource Center provides education, support, and materials for various aspects of brain health including: nutrition, diet, cognitive and physical exercise, sleep, emotional wellness, and personal health concerns such as high blood pressure, stroke, and medications.

“Our goal is for participants to be able to leave our center with simple tricks and tips to enhance their daily lives, and ultimately, their brain health,” Culler said. “We have the ability to make a di�erence in the everyday lives of adults. I look forward to the opportunity to provide innovative, quality services to our community.”

For more information contact Krystal L. Culler, M.A., Director, Menorah Park’s Center 4 Brain Health, at (216) 839-6685, or Email: [email protected]. Located at 27100 Cedar Road, Beachwood, Ohio 44122

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One Campus | Many Solutions | One Person at a Time


WELLNESS DIRECTORY

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At Careplan Geriatric CareManagement, our certifi ed geriatriccare managers and licensed socialworkers will listen to the concernsof you and your loved one, visit thehome and recommend options forimproved quality of life, healthcareservices and cost containment.(440) [email protected]

CLEVELAND FAMILY THERAPY LLCCouples, Family and Marriage Counseling. Professional counselor (PC-CR) and Licensed Independent Chemical Dependency Counselor (LICDC.) Individuals currently experiencing anxiety, mood disorders and trauma are welcome. What makes me different from other therapists a holistic, biopsychosocial approach. Please note that insurance is not accepted at this time. Take the fi rst step to help.Melissa Coan 23360 Chagrin Blvd, Suite 102 Beachwood, Ohio 44122(440) [email protected]

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anxiety, insomnia, snoring, sleep apnea, more. Registered Respiratory Therapist and Buteyko Breathing Educator, Carol Baglia, has been teaching at Correct Breathing Concepts since 2004. 216-952-7048 or [email protected]

The Emily Program is a nationally recognized eating disorder treatment center for people of all ages and genders who struggle with anorexia, bulimia, binge eating disorder, and related mental health and body image issues. If you or a loved one needs help, call us today at 216-765-0500 or visit emilyprogram.com.

TROUBLED MARRIAGE?On the brink of divorce? Not sure? A new approach – Discernment Counseling – helps couples decide. Barbara Feinberg is an experienced couples counselor and life coach trained in discernment counseling.For more information or to schedule a free initial phone consultation, contact: Barbara Feinberg, LISW-S, IMFT-S at (216)390-6832.

IN MOTION PHYSICAL THERAPYAdvanced, evidence-based physicaltherapy for all your rehabilitationneeds. Specialty services alsoavailable for spinal pain, dizziness,imbalance, foot and ankle disorders.Dr. Joseph Moskowitz, PT, DPT14100 Cedar Road Suite 130University Heights OH 44121216-577-1933www.inmotionptohio.com

TIRED OF LIVING WITH PAIN?The John F. Barnes Myofascial Release Approach® is the ultimate whole body therapy that is safe, gentle and consistent in producing results that last! Call today for an appointment and Get the Pain Out!Mary Goldstein, PTJ.F.B. Myofascial Release PractitionerCertifi ed Wellness CoachCertifi ed Yoga Teacher25901 Emery Road, #112Warrensville Hts., Ohio 44128440-223-6114

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Cuyahoga and surrounding countiesfor over 20 years. We offer qualityhome care customized to your needs.Our qualifi ed, screened and motivatedSTNAs, RNs, LPNs and companionsare available for live-in or hourlywork. First interview is free. Ouraides provide exceptional customerservice. They are fully bonded andinsured including Workers Comp andProfessional Liability.216-861-3700

PRECIOUS HOME CAREDoes Your Loved One Need Care at Home? We provide home health aide services, non-medical care. Live-in aides, companion care, palliative care, short term respite, special event/outing, accompany to doctor’s appointment. Accepts Private Pay, Lowest rate in the area. Flat rate/hourly 24/7. We are Members, Alzheimer’s and Dementia Care AssociationCall us for free assessment today.216-374-0986216-832-8553www.precioushomehealthcare.net

JAMES A STERMOLE, CHTHypnotherapy can be used toimprove many lifestyle issues. I specialize in assisting individualswith Fibromyalgia, Irritable BowelSyndrome, Crohns Syndrome,Migraines and other issues whichrespond well to hypnosis. Callme and let’s discuss how you canimprove your life.440-777-1778

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BALANCEDSTAYINGREGINA BRETT

Traditions, like rules, are made to be broken. Especially holiday traditions.

Families sometimes honor so many traditions that the stress of the holidays replaces the spirit of the season.

When did it become mandatory to visit eight different relatives for Chanukah? When did it become a felony to choose Bubbe’s house for Day Three of Chanukah instead of Papa’s place?

Who made the rule that you have to buy a gift for everyone who buys you one? Who says you have to go out New Year’s Eve when all you really want to do is start the New Year rested and ready?

Holiday traditions can anchor us to what we love most or drown us in a sea of stress.

I’ve been accused of being a holiday junkie, and rightfully so. Yes, I am powerless over the holidays and my life is unmanageable. So is the basement, which has become the Christmas wing of the house. The artifi cial tree sleeps under the steps. Ornaments fi ll

eight boxes. The giant Santa and Drosselmeyer guard the laundry room.

And how could I say no to Mom’s Christmas village? When she moved into assisted living, she didn’t want to bring it. So I kept the village: all 12 houses, the school, the library, the café, the gazebo, the pond, the ice skaters, the carolers, the shoppers and the marching band. I love that village.

So do the grandkids. One year, Asher pretended the carolers were criminals and had Santa arrest them. The next year, his sisters wanted to take the village home, so a new tradition was born: They each take home one house to plug in their bedroom as a December nightlight.

That’s how traditions are born. A sliver of joy emerges and you want to save it.

I’m trying to cut down on traditions that no longer bring me joy. I used to send out Christmas cards by the dozens. Now I want more time to play with the

grandkids, so I stopped sending cards.

Last year I committed heresy. I gave away the advent wreath. Every year I put it out and forgot to light it. Goodbye and Goodwill.

How does a tradition start? You do something once and it’s fun or meaningful. Pretty soon, you’re locked in for life.

You don’t have to be. It’s great to hand down family traditions, like Bubbe’s brisket and Nana’s noodle kugel recipe, but it’s also good to try something new, like less oil in the latkes and fewer presents under the tree.

We used to go to the Cleveland San Jose Ballet production of The Nutcracker every year. It was exquisite. The dancing, the costumes, the scenery, the music. Then the ballet left town.

Then we discovered the Cleveland Orchestra Christmas Concert at Severance Hall. We loved it. We took the grandkids. For weeks after, they played pretend orchestra. We go every year now. We replaced one tradition for another.

Christmas Eve changed forever when our daughter

married a man whose family spends the entire day of Christmas Eve together. We lost Christmas Eves with her but gained a wonderful son for life. His family joins us every year for Thanksgiving dinner.

Sometimes “but we’ve always done it this way” has to surrender to “let’s try something different.” What worked in the past can keep you from experiencing what would be better in the present.

We now celebrate Christmas mornings at our grandkids’ house, not at ours. They are creating their own traditions, which they’ll one day surrender to their kids’ traditions.

I’ve learned that momentary magic trumps mandatory merriment, because the real holiday magic happens in the moments in between everything you were supposed to do.

Read Regina Brett online at cjn.org/regina. Connect with her on Facebook at ReginaBrettFans and on Twitter at @ReginaBrett.

As generations pass and holidays approach, opportunities arise to rekindle, re-evaluate or replace cherished customs

Transformingtraditions

THE OHIO STEM CELL TREATMENT CENTER

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The multidisciplinary team of Dr. Mark A. Foglietti and Dr. Michael Kellis, bring the future of regenerative medicine to Cleveland at the Ohio Stem Cell Treatment Center. The Center was created to offer therapeutic possibilities for patients with degenerative and/or inflammatory conditions by utilizing the most promising and

least invasive medical technology currently available.

For information about regenerative medicine and the Ohio Stem Cell Treatment Center, visit:

OhioStemCellTreatmentCenter.com or call 216-831-CELL (2355)

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Documents

Balanced Family Winter Issue 2015