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One client approached during a workshop and asked me, “Terry, you are telling meto demonstrate more power and authority with greater volume AND you are telling meto be authentic. That feels like a contradiction to me. Can you help me withthat?”Having heard variations of this question over the years, I felt that I had abreakthrough in articulating my meaning that particular day. I asked him, “If thedesire to demonstrate greater power comes from deep inside you, and therealization of that in your style requires that you change, what could be moreauthentic than that?” The question that I put to clients and to workshop

participants is not, “What is your style?” as “What do you want your style to be?”Not, “Who are you?” but “Who do you want to be?”

Recently, I was introduced to Carol Dweck’s book, “Mindset: The New Psychology ofSuccess.” I recommend it very highly. Dweck is a psychologist who has taught bothat Columbia and Stanford Universities.

Her central thesis is that there are 2 basic mindsets that people operate from:

1. The Fixed Mindset2. The Growth Mindset

The Fixed Mindset assumes that intelligence and ability are fixed. IQ tests tend

to reinforce this mindset. Once your intelligence is measured, it’s easy to fallinto the belief that that number is rigid and fixed and therefore, anything thatis new and challenging represents a risk.

The Growth Mindset assumes that intelligence and ability can be developed. Thereis a name for this: neuroplasticity - which means brain’s ability to rewireitself. When stroke victims can re-learn the ability to speak, then they arepracticing the Growth Mindset.

Why come to a presentation skills workshop, if you are not open to the idea ofchanging your style?

When this question comes up in workshops, I’ll conduct a poll: “How many of you

have the same style now as when you were 18 years old?” No one has ever raisedtheir hand, by the way. Then I ask, “Why not?” People respond with things like,“I’ve changed” or “I’ve grown” or “I am a different person.” My point is thatstyle evolves – it is not static or fixed. Our work is to exercise some choice inthat evolution, to guide it in the direction we want to take.

Becoming the fully realized version of our self is the work in which we areengaged. Exploring our full potential to communicate, to lead, to inspire – thatis the work in which we are engaged. To make a difference in the lives of thosearound us – that is the work in which we are engaged.

You may find there is a part of you that rebels against this idea – that pushesback. The ‘elephant in the room’ in addressing presentation skills is egocentrism

or self-centeredness.

There are 2 sides to egocentrism.

There is the Show-Off who is enamored with self – the side that thinks somethinglike, “I have been doing this work for 10 years” or “I have been sellingenterprise software to Fortune 100 companies for 15 years” or “I have been leadingteams at the some of the world’s largest companies for 20 years. I don’t need helpwith my presentation skills. I am doing just fine, thank you very much.” This sideis vain, arrogant, and self-exalting. It loves to hear the sound of its voice andso tends to become long-winded and boring.

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There is the Wallflower that thinks something like, “I am not good at thispresenting thing. Can I just go back to my cubicle and write code, generatereports and spreadsheets?” Or “I couldn’t be a salesperson / manager / executive.I am not smart enough / organized enough / strong enough / charismatic enough.” Or“I am no good at presenting / conversing. It takes some special sort ofpersonality.” Yes, this is a form of ego, too. This side is diffident, timid,unwilling to draw attention. It hates the sound of its voice and so its wisdom

remains unspoken.

Both the Show-Off and the Wallflower are self-centered, self-involved. One thinks,“I can do anything wrong.” The other thinks, “I can do anything right.” Onethinks, “I am always a success.” The other thinks, “I am always a failure.” Theone thinks, “I can’t do any harm, so, whatever I do will work.” The other thinks,“I don’t want to do any harm, so, I won’t do anything.” Each of these sentencesstarts with “I”.

These extremes are simply unrealistic. Neither one is always true. We all makemistakes and we all have successes. There are no absolutes. [Terry and I willtemporarily disagree on the word “mistakes”, but that is the subject of anupcoming article of mine. After Terry reads it, I know he will agree. “I can feel

it. I can feel it“.]

Another aspect necessary to consider when speaking about ego is the reluctance orthe attraction to the idea of drawing attention to one’s self. For some that isseductive. For others it’s repulsive. Neither approach is healthy or balanced.They both distract from being present, being aware of the audience, being inBeginner’s Mind, focused on what was happening with our audience in front of us.

How then do we keep our ego in check? How then do we achieve a balance betweentechnique and authenticity – between the 2 extremes of unhealthy ego? How do weremain in Beginner’s Mind about our selves and our style?

By remembering that we are servants. We are servants of our message and of our

audience. This was the insight that allowed me to be aware of technique but stillbe present. To make real time choices about vocal delivery, timing, movement butstill be connected with the audience – because I am merely the conduit of themessage. The message itself and delivering that message so that it impacts theaudience – these are important.

Thinking we are fully evolved and don’t need any more help is anothermanifestation of the Fixed Mindset. Thinking we are incapable of full evolving andcan’t be helped is another manifestation of the Fixed Mindset. Neither feels tothe need to do the work necessary to evolve!

The Growth Mindset assumes that we are constantly growing, developing, evolving.

Yes, be yourself — and to me that means become the fullest realization andexpression of who you want to be.

Hope this helps!