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AUGUST Q3 2017
“TO CREATE AN INCLUSIVE COACHING COMMUNITY, ENABLING TRANSFORMATION OF STAKEHOLDERS THROUGH AWARENESS AND ACTION” 1
GOING BEYOND
IN THIS ISSUE…
CONTRIBUTING COACH: UTTARA PATTANAIK SHIFTING PERSPECTIVES It was a sunny winter morning. I was on my way to meet Amit, my coach friend at Cyberhub Starbucks. As usual there was a huge jam at the turn below the bridge approaching Cyberhub. I had no option but to be patient. The cars were hardly moving. I don't like being late. I was looking at my watch restlessly…
CONTRIBUTING COACH: PARAS GOYAL THE 3 BEST FRIENDS OF A COACH To all my fellow coaches, I am sure there are some days in your life which you can never forget, and your first paid coaching session is one of them. When you start your coaching journey you are a bit anxious, nervous and feel the pressure of your own expectations. Since it is your first session, you want to set the right benchmark of success for yourself…
FROM THE PRESIDENT’S DESK
GUEST COLUMN
CONTRIBUTING COACH
CHAPTER UPDATES
GUEST COLUMN
COACHING, NLP AND THE IMPORTANCE OF BENCHMARKING COL. SUDIP MUKERJEE To achieve personal fulfilment and organizational effectiveness, people and teams need to change existing behaviors and take on new ones – such as greater flexibility, ability to deal with conflict and to renew creativity. And to do that, Individuals and teams need not only to see and feel the desire to change, they need to know how to change…
AUGUST Q3, 2017
“TO CREATE AN INCLUSIVE COACHING COMMUNITY, ENABLING TRANSFORMATION OF STAKEHOLDERS THROUGH AWARENESS AND ACTION” 2
FROM THE PRESIDENT’S DESK
Best Wishes for A Happy Festival Season!! On our journey “To create an inclusive coaching community, enabling transformation of stakeholders through awareness and action”, the Summer of 2017 saw all of us giving our push to The Coaching Flywheel in India. We are gathering Momentum in Creating Awareness and Immediacy about “Coaching as the Most Effective Methodology for People Development”, through Collective Action in Sharing. • Sharing Benefits through ‘Demystifying Coaching’ and Demo Sessions that have been spread across multiple organizations • Sharing Experiences through Probono Coaching with ‘Not for Profit’ organizations, Peer Coaching, Panel Discussions • Sharing Information through consistent Learning Leap Webinars, Coach Connect Opportunities and Writeups/Articles in our newsletter ‘Going Beyond’
Come September and we take another Leap by collaborating with Mindful Leadership India for a two-day Mindful Leadership Summit on 28th and 29th September:
- From Conscious Leaders to Mindful Leaders: Co-Creating a Paradigm Shift in Leadership for the 21st century
- Mindful Leadership: The Coaching Edge…A Panel Discussion
We invite you to participate enthusiastically in this event, for which details and Special Offers have been shared with you …Come share the Experience!!
Nowhere did I see the Splendor That I saw in the cave of my heart, Many times, I dashed my head in the mosque Many times, in the temple of idols Him I sought. ~ Bahadur Shah Zafar Warm Regards, JPS
AUGUST Q3, 2017
“TO CREATE AN INCLUSIVE COACHING COMMUNITY, ENABLING TRANSFORMATION OF STAKEHOLDERS THROUGH AWARENESS AND ACTION” 3
GUEST COLUMN
COACHING, NLP AND THE IMPORTANCE OF BENCHMARKING
By Col. Sudip Mukerjee
General
To achieve personal fulfilment and
organizational effectiveness, people and teams
need to change existing behaviors and take on
new ones – such as greater flexibility, ability to
deal with conflict and to renew creativity. And to
do that, Individuals and teams need not only to
see and feel the desire to change, they need to
know how to change.
Coaching is a collaborative process of facilitating
a client’s ability to self- direct learning and
growth, as evidenced by sustained changes in
self- understanding, self-concept and behavior.
Coaching due to its potential to change people
and organizations, is thus a tool to ensure
performance and greater number of
corporations and individuals each day are tilting
towards getting Executive and Life Coaches to
help them make the shift from good to great.
Consultants give expert advice and mentors
guide people who are new to a field or
experience; trainers instruct in the learning of a
new skill or competence and counsellors heal a
hurt, wound or trauma. In these helping
modalities, the client needs something added or
fixed; coaching, by contrast, mobilizes the
client’s inner resources for enhancing
performance or personal and career
development. So, coaching is of growing
interest in the fields of human resource
development, executive development,
leadership, career and personal development
and health promotion. It is an emerging cross-
disciplinary occupation that aims to enhance
well-being and performance, individual and
organizational development.
Traditional notions of learning – to define
outcomes and then design content and
processes to get there – no longer work with
personal, leadership and organizational
development. Meaningful learning occurs when
human resource professionals step back and
make space for people to make sense of their
own experience.
Out of our neurology (nervous system, brain
stem, cerebral cortex and so on) arise our
unique human powers of symbolization and
language; we live in language and language
constructions because that is how we make
sense of the world. Words express thoughts,
beliefs, understandings, mental maps; changing
the words we use can change minds and
meanings. And a person trained can use
language of the coachee to find out the core
issues and hence address them quickly to
empower him/her.
Why people approach Coaches
Consider, if you will, the issues people bring to
coaching: they might be feeling fear, frustration
or lack of confidence about their work; they may
be searching for more fulfilment or need to
understand their own or their colleagues’
motivations and goals. They may want to be
more innovative and influential, resolve
AUGUST Q3, 2017
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conflicts, manage time beer or shape their own
and others’ performance. Maybe they are in a
bind about their relationship, need to set
priorities and get more balance in their lives, or
align business goals with personal goals. People
seek coaches who listen carefully and help them
understand what they need to think and do to
make the desired changes. But as well as
knowing what they need to do, clients need to
know how. It is the focus on how people make
changes that is the essence of Coaching through
NLP.
NLP and Coaching
Whether you know little or lots about NLP, you
have probably heard that NLP is based on
Richard Bandler and John Grinder’s
understanding that people internally code their
experience of the world and of their life, first
neurologically and then through language.
When Bandler and Grinder first started to study
people’s subjective experience – by observing,
listening, asking, eliciting and experimenting –
they found that the meaning a person made
related to the specific sequence (as well as
intensity) of representational systems the
person used to process information coming in
through their visual, auditory, kinesthetic,
olfactory and gustatory senses.
Representational system sequences were called
strategies. That is what is meant by the structure
or patterning of experience. By observing,
listening, asking, eliciting and experimenting –
modelling – they also discovered that people
can change their feeling responses by changing
the sequence and intensity of the sensory
information. Then they explored how: they
asked how changing the qualities of the
representations (called ‘sub modality shifts’) can
be utilized to make permanent change, and by
observing, listening, asking, eliciting and
experimenting Bandler and Grinder came up
with a number of change patterns. They
understood that the structure of language and
experience could be modelled in terms of
sequences of sensory experience. By accurately
mapping these sequences a change agent has
the keys to modifying unwanted or behaviors
which were no longer useful.
The NLP model of precision questioning, the
Meta Model, is based on modelling of the
language of expert therapists that challenges
and clarifies deletions, distortions and
generalizations in the clients’ verbal
representation of their experience. This
reconnects the client with their deeper,
unconscious experience. Using Meta-model
questions, coaches enable clients to see and
choose how they speak, think, feel and act. For
example, if the client uses the noun form of a
verb, it is called a Nominalization and implies
that the client is stuck in that state and unable
to move on.
NLP practices reflect clear principles of mind–
body–emotion interaction and to be effective
they all need be all used. The magic of NLP is the
speed and ease with which the NLP coach can
calibrate patterns in the client’s thinking,
emoting, speaking and acting and then respond
to the client’s experience using distinctive
linguistic and state management skills, among
others.
Need for Benchmarking
If coaches are to be effective change agents, it is
critical that they have two things: first, a clear
and comprehensive understanding about
change as a process and second, the ability to
translate that knowledge into practical and
effective change skills. Unfortunately, claiming
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the ability to coach – or having a coaching
certificate from one of the many Institutes that
have sprung up in the recent years – is not the
same as having the ability.
The need of the hour thus is benchmarking. To
measure the actual competency of someone
who claims to have the coaching skills we need
to identify ‘best practice’ and to specify its
critical elements. Benchmarking is used to close
the gap between what we are currently doing
and becoming the best-in- a-class. In
benchmarking coaching skills, we break them
down into the key behavioral components
which we can see, hear and feel. Then we plot a
developmental pathway – in other words,
identify a scale of performance – for that skill,
from simple to complex to expert.
If this can be done by a senior team of qualified
coaches, the Coaching community will benefit
immensely and clients would also choose who
they want based on their requirements and can
be more realistic as to what they can get out of
a coaching intervention – leading to better client
satisfaction and bonhomie amongst coaches.
About the Author
Col. Sudip Mukerjee
NLP Trainer and Reiki Master with experience as an army officer in active
operations, logistics and training for more than 21 years (including a tenure with
the United Nations). He counsels clients online on emotional and psychological
issues. Col. Sudip is the proprietor of Anchor NLP. His corporate experience
includes his tenure of being a Vice President of an airline.
AUGUST Q3 2017
“TO CREATE AN INCLUSIVE COACHING COMMUNITY, ENABLING TRANSFORMATION OF STAKEHOLDERS THROUGH AWARENESS AND ACTION” 6
CONTRIBUTING COACH
SHIFTING PERSPECTIVES
By Uttara Pattanaik, Ph.D. ACC (ICF)
It was a sunny winter morning. I was on my way
to meet Amit, my coach friend at Cyberhub
Starbucks. As usual there was a huge jam at the
turn below the bridge approaching Cyberhub. I
had no option but to be patient. The cars were
hardly moving. I don't like being late. I was
looking at my watch restlessly.
Suddenly, the white Polo right in front of me
stopped and two big built men came out of the
car and started saying something with angry
animated gestures. I had to stop as there was no
space to move forward. I couldn't understand
why they were standing on both sides of my car
and banging on the windows. They looked
furious and for a moment I felt as if they would
break into my car if I didn’t come out. I looked
around helplessly. Not a single car stopped to
my rescue. Everyone seemed to be in a real
hurry. The two guys were shouting and abusing
me so loudly that I could hear it with my
windows closed. I thought they were accusing
me of hitting their car. I didn't know what to do.
I could see three policemen on the other side of
the road, I desperately wanted their help to
prove that I was innocent. The two guys were
continuously banging on my car, clicking
pictures from all directions and asking me to
come out. Gathering all my courage I opened my
window and softly said “Sir, what are you saying,
my car hasn't even touched your car, there is not
even a scratch!” Now they became even furious
and started arguing and abusing me at the top
of their voice. I tried waving at the policemen
desperately expecting some justice, but they
pretended to be busy. I had never felt so
helpless, insulted and scared in last 20 years of
my stay in Delhi/NCR region. I tried hard to
pacify them and politely asked, “What do you
want?”. “You have to fix our car or pay
Rs.10000”, the guys said in crude Hindi. I just
wanted to run away from that place. So, I said,
OK, I don't have the money right now, but I will
pay you. After a very ugly, one-sided dialogue
from them, they left taking my contact details
AUGUST Q3, 2017
“TO CREATE AN INCLUSIVE COACHING COMMUNITY, ENABLING TRANSFORMATION OF STAKEHOLDERS THROUGH AWARENESS AND ACTION” 7
and photographs, threatening me not to play
any game.
I was relieved to be out of the sight of the two
guys. I somehow finished my meeting, and other
tasks and returned home quite shaken up. My
confidence was badly shattered and for the first
time in many years, I was feeling scared. Sharp
at 6 pm, a call came. I recognized the voice, this
was the call for money. He wanted me to come
to Dwarka to deliver the cash. I said, I won't be
able to come but will transfer the money and
requested him to send his bank details. He didn't
agree...the same angry tone, same abuses, same
dirty language! He also threatened to reach my
house! I tried to calm myself and said, “Don't
worry, you will get the money in 24 hours, just
send me the bank details”. After 7-8 threatening
communication exchange from their side, one of
them agreed and started sending the bank
details. I could figure they have never done a
bank transfer and hence do not know what
exactly to send.
That evening there were several phone calls,
and communication exchanges gathering
information that is needed to add him as a
payee. I was trying very hard not to express how
scared, helpless and frustrated I was feeling, not
to the guys, not to anybody else. However, I
could not help but notice the persistence of this
guy to follow-up for money. The last piece of
information was shared the next morning, the
address of a fire station. I was sure it was a fake
address.
I had an early meeting that day! As I came out of
that meeting, I noticed that there were 11
missed calls from the guy. I called back. He was
very aggressive and asked about money. I
politely said that he had to send the address
documented in the bank and not the fire station
address. He got even more violent and said,
“That is the correct address, I am a fireman". I
forgot everything for a moment and felt as if I
was talking to a celebrity!! Fireman? Really? In
my childhood, I always thought of firemen as
brave, strong and selfless! I smiled and like a
child, said “Oh! You are a fireman? That's why
you are so persistent. You must be using this
persistence to save people! You must be an
amazing fireman! I am so happy to speak to you.”
“Don’t try to be very cunning, all these tricks are
not going to work with me. I will not spare you!
Just because you are a lady, I am asking you for
money, had you been a man, I would have killed
you” he said. I did not expect this reaction but
somehow, I gathered myself and said, “And if
you killed the man, would your car be fixed?”
“That is none of your business. If someone
messes with me, he will get a lesson,” said the
fireman.
I don't know why I said the next few sentences,
but I felt a compulsion from inside to make this
request, so this what I said, “Don't worry, you
will get the money by tomorrow morning. But I
have a request, please do not be so angry and
abuse or hit anybody on the road. Both you and
I know that my car did not touch yours. Many
people lose their lives every year due to road
rage. You are a fireman, you save lives, you are
not supposed to take a life. You have to make
this promise to me”. There was a long pause.
Then he said, “I love my car. I have bought it with
my hard-earned money. I will not spare anybody
who touches it. I will just kill him”. This time
however his tone was different, harsh and
indifferent, but not that angry. I sensed some
shifting of perspective and said, “think about it!
Would you like your son to remember you as a
kind, brave, forgiving man or you would like him
to remember you as an angry, strong, brave man
who killed people if things did not happen his
AUGUST Q3, 2017
“TO CREATE AN INCLUSIVE COACHING COMMUNITY, ENABLING TRANSFORMATION OF STAKEHOLDERS THROUGH AWARENESS AND ACTION” 8
way? Anyway...you will get your money by
tomorrow morning...my promise”.
I hung up the phone, started the car and
instantly regretted having this conversation with
a stranger. I had definitely crossed the line. I
was upset with myself…why do I sometime say
things that I am not supposed to? I was tangled
in my own thoughts and a little irritated with
myself. I must have driven 700-800 meters
when the phone rang again. It was the fireman
again. I pulled the car to the side and thought,
now what.
“Madam, can I speak to you for a few minutes?
I will just take 5 minutes” the fireman said. This
time it was a completely different tone, as if he
was a different person altogether! Completely
zapped, I said, “what now?”
He started, “Madam, I don't need this money.
Please don't transfer this money. If you pay, I will
not be able face myself. We are not bad people.
I am a peaceful person, but we have been
brought up differently. Our father, uncle,
neighbors have taught us to be aggressive, to
stand up for our rights. We have been taught to
extract money every time you get an
opportunity, so we are used to behaving that
way. This is our way of being a man and of
showing power, but by talking about my son,
you opened my eyes. I want him to remember
me with respect, not with disgust. I do not want
him to be like me. I want him to be like you. We
misbehaved with you so much, insulted you, but
not a single time you raised your voice against
us, you could have gone to the police, gotten us
arrested, abused us, called people but you
talked to us with respect, you received my
phone call, you even called me back. I want my
son to be like you. I am sorry madam. I will
remember what you said. I will never get angry
and not let anybody get angry around me. I will
stop road rage...I will...madam...trust me. I have
one request...please do not delete my number.
Please talk to me sometime...so that I can
become a better person and teach others to be
better. Thank you, Madam, thank you!”
He was crying as he was talking to me….
gathering himself to complete his sentences.
Tears were rolling down my cheeks…. I couldn't
say anything. It reinforced my faith in the power
of positive and how each one of us has this
tremendous power to create a ripple effect in
this world. I must have been lost in my thoughts
for a moment. I came back to the conversation
when the fireman said, “Madam, are you there?
Please don't delete my number, OK? I will not
disturb you much!”
“I will not delete your number. You can call any
time” I said with a smile.
About the Author:
By Uttara Pattanaik, Ph.D. ACC (ICF)
Uttara is an accomplished industry leader and a certified Executive Coach with
over 18 years’ experience in various senior leadership positions at a national and
international levels with leading companies in Life Sciences and Healthcare
industries
AUGUST Q3, 2017
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THE THREE BEST FRIENDS OF A COACH!
By Paras Goyal
It may take some time to find them, but once
you meet them, they will strengthen your
coaching journey!
To all my fellow coaches, I am sure there are
some days in your life which you can never
forget, and your first paid coaching session is
one of them. When you start your coaching
journey you are a bit anxious, nervous and feel
the pressure of your own expectations. Since it
is your first session, you want to set the right
benchmark of success for yourself.
I clearly remember the day when I had my very
first coaching session. Before I landed into the
session, I revised all the coaching tools that I had
learned during my training program. Well, I even
mugged up all the so called 'powerful
questions'. And finally, with great faith and
confidence, I jumped into my first coaching
session. Armed with many coaching weapons
(processes, tools and questions), I was
desperate to shoot all these to my poor client. I
did that and was feeling great!
However, after making a great start of 'rapport
building', very soon I realized something was not
working. My client was giving me some weird
looks and every cell of his face was quizzing me
"Have you gone mad? Why are you asking so
many stupid questions? Is this an interrogation
session?" Though, I understood his body
language, I ignored it with the hope that
gradually the 'coaching process' would take care,
and at the end he would experience 'deep self-
discovery'. However, after 5 minutes, finally,
when he showed a clear sign, which no coach
could ignore, I quickly wrapped up the session.
Do you want to know that sign? He started to
yawn! And it was good enough to convey –
please shut up!
Feeling disappointed, dejected, demotivated, I
called up my coaching mentor to check what
went wrong? And the first question he asked
was, "what went well?” “Nothing", I said.
Understanding my state of mind, he asked, "Can
you set aside all the tools and processes, which
you have learned, for some time, and then just
go as ‘yourself’? He explained, just try to listen
to him, be connected to yourself, and get
comfortable with the silence. And then ask
simple questions, which come to you. After this
guidance, I saw things from a different
perspective and decided to go on with it.
Let me tell you, putting myself in a 'non-
judgement' position was the biggest hurdle I
overcame. It took a lot of effort 'to be myself' to
be an effective coach. It worked wonderfully
during my future sessions and after my 60th
session, when I was coaching a high performing
leader in a leading consulting firm, I found
myself holding up my coaching ground firmly by
focusing on breathing, getting comfortable with
silences, landing into a listening position and
asking few yet powerful questions. I could see a
spark in her eyes, shine on her face, and a sense
AUGUST Q3, 2017
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of clarity in achieving her goal. The session went
very well and the feedback I got from that
session was extraordinarily positive – much
beyond what I had expected.
That day I got three amazing friends:
1. Nose, to breathe, which has the power to overcome my anxiety and connecting ME with myself.
2. Ears, which have the power to listen and connect with my client strongly.
3. Silence, which has the power to make us become aware and gain access to universal wisdom.
This time when I called my mentor, I was oozing
with excitement and happiness! There was an
extraordinary feeling of satisfaction and
fulfilment. I got the basics right and now playing
with coaching tools is just coming intuitively.
Now, I make sure I meet all my best friends
before I go for a coaching session!
About the Author
Paras Goyal, Executive Leadership Coach, DTM
Paras is a certified leadership coach, and has expansive experience in leadership
development, relationship based client servicing, and mentoring. Over the last 14
years, he has worked in leadership roles at BCG, Mckinsey and Evalueserve.
Currently, he is an internal coach for BCG APAC region. He also co-leads a social
development initiative ‘iOwn’.
AUGUST Q3, 2017
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CHAPTER UPDATES
Upcoming Events
Date Time Topic Speaker
26th August 11 am to 1 pm Working with Emotional States, Creating Awareness & Learning Actions
Anil Dagia, PCC
9th September 11 am to 1 pm Process of Change through a Gestalt Perspective
Dr. Yaron Ziv
28th – 29th September 9 am to 6 pm The Mindfulness Summit in collaboration with ICF Delhi NCR Chapter
Various
We invite you to Join us at MINDFUL LEADERSHIP SUMMIT INDIA, 2017, as we showcase "Mindfulness in
Coaching" through our Eclectic Panel!
We have partnered with Mindful Leadership India, and are keen to start a movement of Mindful
Leadership within the Coaches community too, where more and more coaches, come in touch with
their true, authentic self and implement the goodness of their personal contemplative experiences, in
AUGUST Q3, 2017
“TO CREATE AN INCLUSIVE COACHING COMMUNITY, ENABLING TRANSFORMATION OF STAKEHOLDERS THROUGH AWARENESS AND ACTION” 12
their Coaching Practice
With more than 20 International and Indian speakers, including Visionaries, Authors, Masters and
Leaders from different sectors, we commenced on to a transformative journey over the 2 days. Attended
by delegate teams from organizations like Accenture, Amdocs, Airtel, Genpact. Tata Power, ONGC, NTPC,
Deloitte. Bharat Petroleum and many others. The event was wonderfully received and was rated very
high by the participants.
Look forward to your nominations and participation
We are very pleased to share a special ICF Partner Discount, especially for our
members and associates. Use the Discount Coupon code ICF3000 to avail a discount
of Rs. 3000!
To register, visit http://mindfulleadershipindia.com/ticket.html
AUGUST Q3, 2017
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AUGUST Q3, 2017
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June 2017
Coach Connect-Personal Branding and Inspirational Storytelling for Coaches by Dr. Amit
Nagpal
The session addressed why coaches need a strong personal brand, brand building paradoxes, social
media and perception management.
Learning Leap - Levels of Engagement in the Coaching Process
by Leon VanderPol
In this webinar, Leon VanderPol, shared a simple yet effective framework
for understanding levels of engagement in the coaching process. No
matter what coaching arena you work in, if you are ready to move beyond
standard, transactional approaches and into the deeper realm, this
framework will show you the way.
AUGUST Q3, 2017
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July 2017
Coach Connect: Coaching Beyond Barriers of Language by Col. Sudip
Mukerjee
This session by NLP expert Col. Sudip Mukerjee focused on:
• Introduction to the Meta Model • NLP Questioning Technique and how it works • NLP Communication Technique and how to uncover primary modality of the client • Understanding where the client is stuck through language • Deep structure and surface structure of language • Know what words not to use in a coaching session • Know how to use questions to change the client’s perspective
Learning Leap: Perspectives of Global organizations towards Coaching with Jean-
Francois Cousin
The webinar delved on
• How coaching creates business value through engagement?
• How Ideation and execution enhance leaders’ impact?
• Coaching and engagement
• Strong coaching cultures are correlated with stronger financial
performance
• Data on Coaching ROI
• The importance of Silence and facilitative listening
• How coaching explores different ‘Levels of thinking’
• How to craft powerful questions
• The path from self-awareness to productive relationships
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August 2017
Learning Leap – Coaching with Compassion with Prof. Richard Boyatzis
The webinar delved into:
• Understanding the psycho-physiological role of the Positive Emotional Attractor and the Negative Emotional Attractor in motivating change or encouraging the status quo regression.
• Perceiving how coaching with compassion is effective in helping people change in sustainable ways, but coaching for compliance is not. And why it is crucial to the sustainability of the leader
• The neural activations involved in these two forms of coaching and why one prepares a person to consider change and learning and the other closes their minds
• How to coach others to develop EI, resonant leadership, and to sustainably change.
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Would you like to join our 78-member strong community of coaches to network,
learn, and be an active contributor towards your progress as a coach via peer coaching,
pro bono coaching, and coaching awareness sessions delivered by our member coaches
in various corporates and educational institutes? Write to our Director-Membership
Major Avtar Singh at [email protected] to know more.
Be a Contributing Coach by sending in your original, 700-1000 word, unpublished
coaching related blogs, articles and book reviews to Manbir Kaur, our Director-Education
at [email protected]. Remember to share a high-resolution picture and
a couple of lines about yourself, along with the contribution.
Share your knowledge We hold a Learning Leap event (webinar) and a Coach Connect (face to face) each month
for our member coaches. If you’re interested in speaking at one of our events, please
write to [email protected] expressing your interest and details of the
topic.
This issue of Going Beyond has been edited for ICF Delhi NCR Chapter by Aditi Malhotra,
our Director-Communication & Marketing. To discuss marketing your events/workshops
and collaborating with ICF Delhi NCR Chapter, you can write to her at