ATP Social 8: Attraction and Close RelationshipsTom Farsides Attraction and Close Relationships

ATP Social 8: Attraction and Close Relationships Tom Farsides

Attraction and Close Relationships


Lecture contents

Evolutionary psychology

‘Utility’ theories of close relationships Social exchange theory

Taxonomies of close relationships The triangular theory of love

Relationship development Passionate and compassionate love Patterns of self-disclosure Troubled relationships


The selfish gene

Gender-specific differences in optimal strategies for gene survival (on

average, among humans, in ‘the state of nature’). For women: ‘serial’ long-lasting relationships with the best economic

providers possible. For men: multiple ‘parallel’ short-term relationships with the most fertile

women possible.

Genes from people adopting these strategies are likely to become relatively numerous in subsequent generations (up to a point).

Therefore, to the extent that such behaviours are genetically determined, such behaviours are likely to become increasingly common (up to a

point) in subsequent generations.


The selfish gene as explanation of sexual behaviour

To the extent that

(i) sexual behaviour is genetically determined, and

(ii) environmental conditions are supportive of ‘natural’ evolution,

we would expect to find a majority of women to be ‘clingy’ (but pretending not to be) and a majority of men to be ‘loose’ (but pretending not to be).


Evolutionary psychology

• Does assume a genetic basis for sexual (and other) behaviour.

• Does consider that environmental conditions are typically supportive of ‘natural’ evolution.

• It therefore predicts that most women will be ‘clingy’ (but pretending not to be) and most men will be ‘loose’ (but pretending not to be).

• ‘Deviant’ behaviour is nevertheless to be expected: Other successful strategies in ESS. Non-denied occasional influence of environmental conditions. Natural process of evolution.


The debate

Many criticisms of evolutionary psychology are weak, often misunderstanding the theory.

Any finding (and its opposite) can be ‘explained’ by both evolutionary psychology and ‘sociocultural perspectives’.

E.g., if a sample of faithful men are found: Measurement bias

Evolutionary pressures to become increasingly convincing.

Sampling bias Faithfulness in men does not usually prevent genetic transmission.

Local conditions Women may have the opportunity to be highly selective.


Social Exchange Theory Framework


The Triangular Theory of LoveSternberg (1986)


Passion and compassion

Hatfield (1988)

Passionate love Emotionally intense, often highly erotic

Compassionate love Secure, trusting, comfortable


Passion

Passionate love as arousal + attribution

Dutton & Aron (1984)

White et al. (1981)

But Foster et al. (1998)


Social penetration theory (Altman & Taylor, 1973)


Relationships in crisis

Self-disclosure changes:

For some, “a long, thin dagger of discontent”. Cf. Negative affect reciprocity.

For others, less breadth and depth. Cf. Demand/withdraw interaction pattern.

Making things better: Increasing rewards in ‘non-contentious’ areas. Trying to understand the other person’s point of view.

Including avoiding fundamental attribution errors for negative acts.


Aron et al.’s (1992) Other in the self (IOS) Scale

Documents

ATP Social 8: Attraction and Close RelationshipsTom Farsides Attraction and Close Relationships