Assignment 2: MacKenzie Goodwin Introduction

The majority of everyone always dreams about being a part of this elite world that includes

money and power. So, imagine being a teenager living in New York City. Not just anywhere in NYC, but

living on the Upper East Side. Imagine being a child to some of the most powerful and know parents in

the city. Being chauffeured around by your own personal driver in a limo and attending some of the most

exclusive private schools. Imagine your gifts being hundred dollars worth of designer clothing and jewels.

Being able to fly all over the world just when you want to. Also, getting invitations to exclusive parties

and being allowed to party in the most known clubs. All of this while you’re still just a teenager. It sounds

pretty perfect doesn’t it?

Well what if while living this incredible and fast pace life that you have someone recording every

public encounter and private issue in your life? What if this person can receive that secret information

about yourself just from a simple text by your closest friend or a complete stranger that you don’t know?

What if you were to also figure out that the post all this information about you on a social media site that

everyone you know and don’t know can see? Now that doesn’t sound too glamorous does it? This was an

issue presented in The CW show “Gossip Girl” as this elite group of teenagers that were being harassed,

exposed and blackmailed by a blog called “Gossip Girl”. This is just not an issue for the higher class of

our society, but negative social media exposure can affect anybody at anytime. This is relatable for me

because I’ve seen some people post, tweet, “sub tweet” and comment negative things about myself. It

hurts to know that not only is someone saying this bad thing about you and that you’re seeing, but so

many other people can see that comment too. Negative social media exposure is an issue especially for

teens. But, it’s not just the issue of teens bashing each other on social media sites it’s really the issue how

it affects everyone else. How reputations and credibility in other people like the teen’s parents, siblings,

friends or whoever can be ruined because a comment made about that teen. The domino effect is present

in negative social media exposure of someone because once it affects him or her it will start to affect

everyone else around him or her.

Literacy Review

The sources that I’ve researched have various differencing opinions about social media use. While the

majority of my sources have agreed that social media use in negative ways the version of each source was

different. In my first source that was an NPR related article that had the talk show host, Michael Martin,

discuss celebrities and their parenting skills in “Parents Draw The Line On Teen Relationships and Social

Media”. Martin and guests hosts’ were talking about a controversial photo that Willow Smith posted on

social media and how her parents saw no wrong in the picture. Martin started to discuss parenting when it

comes to social media and how there’s a difference between how celebrity parents’ react to situation

versus “normal parents” (parents of a lower class). Compared to other NPR articles about negative social

media use; another article written by, Scott Neuman, talks about social media crackdown in China in the

article “Beijing To Crack Down On Social Media ‘Slanderous Rumors’”. Neuman talks about the Chinese

government have created laws that ban people and/or groups slandering others on social media. This does

include the creation of rumors on social media sites that can ruin the reputations of government officials

and well-known people in the country. Neuman goes on explaining how lawyers in China are trying to get

these laws changed because even though the purpose of these laws are agreeable that people are getting

arrested for simply misstating a fact that was not purposely. Lastly, another NPR article, “Breaking Bad

News To Kids: How Media Has Tweaked The Process” expressed the opinion of how social media lets the

children of our generation know about tragic events before their parents get to discuss it with them. The

host of the radio show (and the article), John Donvan, talks about how parents nowadays have to watch

what their children do when they go onto websites because of how easy they have access to information

about tragic events or other negative things. Donvan introduces different guest speaks who are

professionals in the fields of children psychology (for example) and some speakers who are just everyday

parents. A main point that was talked about how it’s so hard for parents to monitor what their children

view on social media sites or what their children also post on social media sites. NPR overall covers the

basic issues with social media uses in a negative matter and how it affects different groups of people that

being parents, government, etc.

Other articles that I discovered about negative uses of social media focused more on issues that

people wouldn’t usually think of first when it comes to my topic. In the article, “Fame Is a Losing Game:

Celebrity Gossip Blogging, Bitch Culture and Postfeminism”, discuss how celebrity gossip blogs

like ,“Prez Hilton”, use of social media has become a daily thing in our everyday lives. The writer of the

article, Kirsty Fairclough, speaks about the way that blogs talk about celebrities and how these sites

diminish anything good about that person. Blogs and social media sites tend to focus on anything negative

about a celebrity and highlight that to its viewers/readers instead of the good things. This has become

such an adaptation to our society that we tend to not care if the celebrity gets treated cruelty by the sites

instead we are entertained by the mean jokes and comments. This article relates to the concept of

cyberbullying and how it’s becoming a major issue now for not just celebrities, but for children and teens

in our recent generation. In, “Cyberbullying: Who Are the Victims? A Comparison of Victimization in

Internet Chatrooms and Victimization in School”, talks about an experiment that was conducted at

German secondary schools about children being bullied in chatrooms and/or other social media sites

versus bullying happened at schools. Researchers: Catarina Katzer, Detlef Fetchenhauer, and Frank

Belschak have found that there was a strong relationship between children and/teens being bullied in

chatrooms were most likely being bullied at school too. So, cyberbullying and social media slandering is

not only a common issue for known people in the upper class, but also for anyone else as well.

A couple of my last sources don’t focus on either of the positions that I’ve already discussed

earlier. Blackmail through social media is introduce into my topic discussion as the North Yorkshire

Police Department produced a report called, “Urgent Warning Following Internet Blackmail Scam”, to

their public area. The report talked about a woman using Facebook (a social media site) and befriended

three males on the site. She then messaged them on Facebook to video chat her over Skype (another

social media site). She then proceeded to perform sexual acts on camera for the men and when she was

done began to ask money from them for her “sick grandmother”. When the men declined giving her such

money the woman then threaten to release the video to the public of them watching her if they didn’t pay

her. The police department continued to state that incidents like the one reported have been increasing

over the years as advancements and use of technology have increased. Schemers use social media in a

negative way to blackmail others for money or other items of value. But, sometimes blackmail can come

from others that surround us in our everyday lives that feed private information about ourselves to one

person. That one person being bloggers, user of social media and other leadership roles like that in this

technology advanced world. In the article, “Blogs Give Regular People the Chance to Talk Back:

Rethinking ‘professional’ Media Hierarchies in New Media”, discussed how there isn’t a distinct fine line

between the audience and controllers of blog and/or social media sites. The writer, Erin A. Meyers, states

that the audiences become the producers sometimes for social media sites because the audience tends to

be in the position of providing information while the controllers of the site just edit and interpret. This is

why celebrity gossip pages thrive because our society is so accustomed to being nosy and wanting to hear

about the personal lives of others. With this need and desire that’s why people of our society are so

willing to give out others information.

Overall, all these points that were discussed in my sources can all be examples in my observation

of the television series, “Gossip Girl”. My last source, Assignment 1, I produced three observations from

three different episodes in the series. I discussed in my observations of events that happened in the

episodes based on this elite group of teenagers that live on the Upper East Side of New York City. I

described the negative events in their lives that have happened because of the infamous and anonymous

blogger, Gossip Girl, as it reports every secret and detail on their lives to everyone in NYC. This relates

to the topics of blackmail, cyberbullying and negative overexposure of the elite group in our society.

Entering Conversation

In the show, “Gossip Girl”, whenever there was a negative social media post about one of the

teenagers in the show it affected not only the characters, but also the people who were close to them the

most. People who had the trust of the characters would be their friends, but mainly their parents as parents

received the most backlash of negative social media posts about their children. I think that they receive

the most backlash because if the negative posts are publicized people tend to critique the parenting of the

parents. In an NPR article, “Parents Draw The Line On Teen Relationships and Social Media”, the talk

show host, Michael Martin, discusses with authors who’ve written about parenting and are parents

themselves if they thought a photo of Willow Smith (a known child of famous actor Will Smith) who was

lying in bed with a shirtless 20 year old man. Willow was 13 at the time and in the picture there is no

sexual behavior going on between the two, as the man in the photo is a family friend. But, in the sights of

the authors the first thing to criticize or question was Will Smith and his wife, Jada Smith, parenting skills

over their children. In the article there was a quote from Jada Smith stating about her thoughts on the

picture, “There was nothing sexual about that picture or that situations. You guys are projecting your

trash onto it. And you’re acting like covert pedophiles that’s not cool.” The authors continue to talk about

how when it comes to your child and not only their social media sites, but just in their actions in general

that there needs to be boundaries set. So, overall all the guest speakers on Martin’s show agreed that the

post was inappropriate and at the fault of Willow’s parents based on how they raised her.

Some parents in the upper class world may be ok with some things on social media being

publicized about their children whether it’s good or bad because criticism and negative feedback is

common in their world. But, other situations it affects the parents the most due to their reputations than

being on the line. My Assignment One in Observation 3 of “Gossip Girl” there was an incident where the

main character, Serena Van Der Woodsen, was being accused of consuming alcohol and doing drugs

based on someone seeing her visiting a rehab center. This was publicized all over social media sites like

Gossip Girl and was even announced at an event with Ivy League school representatives. What others

didn’t know was Serena wasn’t visiting the rehab center because of herself, but because her brother, Eric,

was a patient there due to a suicide attempt. This incident drove Serena’s mother, Lily, overboard because

she not was she worried about Serena’s reputation and her possibly not getting into Ivy League schools

due to this false information, but she was worried about herself too. Lily had already been criticized about

not being a part of Serena and Eric’s lives and she didn’t want people to think that her child Serena was a

drug addict or a partier because of her parenting. Lily also had a high position in the Upper East Side

society and she was known by some of the most powerful people. Because of negative social media posts

about her daughter, Lily’s position in this society could have been threaten or even diminished.

Earlier I discussed about the article, “Fame Is a Losing Game: Celebrity Gossip Blogging, Bitch

Culture and Postfeminism”, how social media bashing has become an everyday thing in our lives. “Such

blogs report the scandalous, glamorous and everyday behaviors of celebrities at such a frenetic pace that

traditional celebrity gossip delivery mechanisms are struggling to compete”, stated by Kirsty Fairclough

who is the writer of the article. In that point that Kirsty brings up in completely noticeable in my

observation of the television series, “Gossip Girl”, how the blog in the show will do anything possible to

get the most juiciest and scandalous information because that’s what the audience wants. The blog,

Gossip Girl, in the show will personally send out a text to all of her followers asking them to retrieve

information with her being that the grand prize is that she gives them a shout out on her site for being a

great provider. Personally, I think the teens in the show even teens and/or people in real life find this

thrilling because they get to find out something that others don’t know and then report to the “master” of

the social media site. People don’t do this because it’s satisfying to them, but I feel like people don’t

understand the consequences that their actions can cause. Especially with those people affecting the lives

of the person that they received information about and their families in the process too. The families are

put into a position where they’re eventually being watched and exposed because maybe sometimes

information about the known child in the family isn’t enough. That’s why in present celebrity bashing

blogs like Perez Hilton, TMZ and other sites like those don’t only go after the celebrity but go after their

families as well because it’s to keep the audience entertained. That’s why celebrities and their families are

put in such a vulnerable position because they have to be careful about what they do or else it will be

plastered all over social media sites and it will most likely be presented in a negative way.

Conclusion

What stuns me the most about our society is that we always see in the news about how

cyberbullying is bad, how slandering others is bad, how producing rumors about your peers is bad and

other things like that yet in our social class we have no problem doing those types of things to people who

may be higher class. We have no problem reading social media posts and blog sites that bash celebrities

and expose families because we find them entertaining yet we wouldn’t want those things to happen to us.

A lot of people who includes the bloggers and their audiences don’t realize what their actions do to these

celebrities and their families. In the show even the characters realize that using this blog is not something

to mess with and that they shouldn’t be sending in their friends private information to this site just

because they make them mad. The characters realize this because they see the domino effect that happens

within the person and their family. It’s also the act of growing up and maturing as a person to realize that

if there is an issue to discuss in person not to glorify it on social media for everyone to see. In a perfect

world, we would have no social media at all. In an even more perfect world, we would have social media

but no one would use it in negative ways. Even though that’s an impossible idea, I think more people in

our society needs to realize that we wouldn’t want blogs and other social media outlets bashing ourselves

including the people we love like our families. Maybe our society just need to walk in the shoes of

someone who is known, a celebrity or someone maybe in a higher class than them to realize not

everything is perfect as it seems.

Annotated Bibliography: MacKenzie Goodwin

1. "Parents Draw The Line On Teen Relationships And Social Media." Www.NPR.org. National Public Radio. Web. 13 May 2014. <http://www.npr.org/2014/05/13/312142726/parents-draw-the-line-on-teen-relationships-and-social-media>.

2. Neuman, Scott. "Beijing To Crack Down On Social Media 'Slanderous Rumors'" Www.npr.org. National Public Radio. Web. <http://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2013/09/10/221111680/beijing-to-crack-down-on-social-media-slanderous-rumors>.3. "Breaking Bad News To Kids: How Media Has Tweaked The Process." Www.npr.org. National Public Radio. Web. 18 Oct. 2013. <http://www.npr.org/2013/06/18/193135999/breaking-bad-news-to-kids-how-media-has-tweaked-the-process>. 4. Fairclough, Kirsty. "Fame Is a Losing Game: Celebrity Gossip Blogging, Bitch Culture and Postfeminism." Https://www.questia.com. Cengage Learning. Web. https://www.questia.com/library/journal/1G1-194279234/fame-is-a-losing-game-celebrity-gossip-blogging5. Katzer, Catarina, Detlef Fetchenhauer, and Frank Belschak. "Cyberbullying: Who Are the Victims? A Comparison of Victimization in Internet Chatrooms and Victimization in School." Http://econtent.hogrefe.com. Hogrefe Publishing, 6 June 2008. Web. 6 June 2008. <http://econtent.hogrefe.com/doi/abs/10.1027/1864-1105.21.1.25>.6. "Urgent Warning Following Internet Blackmail Scam." Http://www.northyorkshire.police.uk. North Yorkshire Police Department, 9 Jan. 2015. Web. 9 Jan. 2015. <http://www.northyorkshire.police.uk/14909>.7. Meyers, Erin A. "‘Blogs Give Regular People the Chance to Talk Back’: Rethinking ‘professional’ Media Hierarchies in New Media." Http://nms.sagepub.com. SAGE Publications, 22 Mar. 2012. Web. 22 Mar. 2012. <http://nms.sagepub.com/content/14/6/1022.short>.8. Goodwin, MacKenzie. "Assignment 1." Observation 1: 6. Microsoft. Web. 20 Oct. 2015.

Morgan Bittle

Introduction

Up until 1994, sitcoms were known for corny families and cheesy humor. This was until the show

Friends aired, little did we know they would change the world of sitcoms. Instead of a sitcom revolving

around a family, this show looks at the lives of six close friends that go through life together. This was a

groundbreaking idea, because people in their twenties and thirties could actually relate to their content.

The show takes these six friends and over ten seasons captures the audience with their

relatable life situations. With a hectic life in New York City, these young adults are just trying to find

themselves and their life path. But just like real life, that does not come easy. This is what made the

show so relatable and revolutionary. They would show situations that young adults were going through;

for example, trying to find the right career path or just trying to find their soul mate. They do all of this

with a witty humor and a cast that you want to be a part of. I personally have watched all ten seasons all

the way through. It is my favorite show, due to the fact that it is so relatable but at the same time very

light hearted.

In this paper I hope to demonstrate the ways Friends has influenced sitcoms today. I would

like to portray not only the unique qualities of the storyline but also the behind the scenes of the show.

The show was revolutionary in the salaries they were paying the actors and the way they almost ignored

the suggestions from NBC and did their own thing. I hope to use my personal observation and knowledge

of the show to improve and add to the other evidence I have found.

Literature Review

In an interview with Matt Lauer, the cast and creators of Friends discuss making of the show Friends for

the ten years it was on air. Matt Lauer goes in depth with Marta Kauffman and David Crane, the creators

of the show, and they discuss the different pitches and ideas that brought them to the final product. We

can conclude from the interview that the show was a lot of trial and error, the producers were given a lot

of ideas from NBC to create almost an entirely different show. Both Kauffman and Crane stuck with

most their original ideas, which is what made Friends such a unique and influential show in pop culture.

However, this wasn’t the only struggle the show had. Bill Carter goes in depth about a point in the show

struggling. To get out of this rut, the producers used clever plot twists to keep viewers wanting to come

back every week. Carter goes into detail on the plot twists and how they were influential in the seasons.

In this summary of the last episode of Friends, Shales compares Friends to other sitcoms and discusses

the changes over the past ten years of the show. Shales makes valid points that Friends may not have

been the first sitcom, but that it held its own in a new world of reality television. This is a good way for

the reader to get an almost non-bias sense of where television was when the show originally aired.

Dellacontrada and Holmes also describe how Friends was the first sitcom to actually depict young adults

in the real world, instead of having a family as the stars. This was new in the realm of sitcoms and led to

many more copycat shows after their premier. The audience will then get an idea of the time frame that

Friends came out to when the rest of the sitcoms about young adult friends in a city trying to make a name

for themselves. Both articles perfectly points to my topic that Friends was revolutionary in the world of

sitcoms. The uses of previous sitcoms in this article as a comparison to Friends will help the reader

understand the unique qualities of this sitcom.

This is a timeline from the Hollywood reporter shows major events over the ten years of the show. The

timeline shows influential episodes and major events that happened for the show; for example,

nominations for the show or the actors and important influences they had on sitcoms. This is an effective

piece of evidence to give the audience an idea of how the show transformed over ten seasons and its

effect on pop culture. Dellacontrada also goes in depth and agrees on their impact on pop culture.

Both Rice and Carter go into detail on how the Friends salaries were influential in the realm of sitcoms.

Rice gives a timeline in this article to show the dramatic jumps in the actor’s salary and the negotiations it

took to get there. The actors of Friends had strict deals that could have made or broken the show, which

was another new idea in sitcoms. This article will be helpful to the audience to understand the financial

standing of the show to help the audience see how different it was to previous shows.

This assignment will give the reader necessary background information on the show, especially if the

reader has never watched Friends. Within the assignment there are three observations that will give the

reader an idea of how the characters are together and and idea of the dynamics of the show. By using this

resource, the audience has a reference for the characters, how the characters interact with each other, and

other necessary basic information.

During its time, the show Friends was very revolutionary. The show was on for ten seasons over

a course of ten years. Over these ten seasons the show made records and took risks that no other show

has taken. In an interview with Matt Lauer, the creators of the show Marta Kauffman and David Crane

discuss suggestions from the network that they decided to ignore. For example, NBC thought that the

idea of having the friends in a coffee shop was too hip and they should think of putting them in a diner

(Lauer, 2004). Ignoring this suggestion made Friends that much more unique, unlike previous sitcoms

like “Seinfeld”, or sitcoms to come like “Rules of Engagement.”

All sitcoms have a cookie cutter feel that some can say Friends inspired. Since Friends there have been

many “copy cat” sitcoms that follow the same premise; there is a group tight group of friends, that live in

a city, and usually have a central spot were we find them conversing. For example, How I Met Your

Mother, Rules of Engagement, and many more shows that followed Friends. But before Friends, this was

not the mold for sitcoms. The basic sitcom before Friends included an average family, living in a

suburban area, going through life situations and always being a happy family at the end of each episode.

For example, Full House, Family Matters, and any other sitcom during the the late 1980’s to the 1990’s.

If it wasn’t for the risks these producers took, than Friends would be like the rest of the cookie cutter

sitcoms. The creators of the show were very adamant on sticking to their original idea for the show

because they knew it was something special (Lauer, 2004). This risk gave great reward to the world of

sitcoms.

Because the creators took such great risks, the actors were also greatly rewarded. Friends was

one of the first to have such high salaries, setting the standards for sitcoms stars to come. Once the show

began to take off the actors began to negotiate new salaries. The actors were some of the first to get one

million dollars an episode (Dellacontrada). Even today the actors are making plenty off of the show that

ended more than ten years ago. This opened up a whole new ball game in the television industry. Friends

was able to do this because the show was such a success because of the risks they took and the new ideas

they brought to television.

They were pioneers in the risks that they took, giving producers after them the bravery to take

more chances. With television today there is a lot that would have not been socially acceptable. We all

know of the reality television, such as “Jersey Shore” or “Teen Mom,” that exposes more than we need to

see of some people. But, we seem to forget that sitcoms never used to be as risqué as they are today.

Before Friends aired, shows like Full House only showed the actors kissing. But today we see the

characters going way past just kissing. Leading us to the question of; is there anything that is off limits to

the audience?

As a culture we are always evolving, women can now show their ankles and men don’t wear suits

and ties everyday. This is obviously an exaggeration but the truth is as a society we have become a lot

more revealing. But, television was still a very reserved outlet until the shows like Friends came along.

Families would sit down and watch Full House together, but Friends was meant as a relatable comedy for

young adults. Because of this they introduced some more racy ideas to primetime shows. But because of

this, what risks are left to take? With shows today what else is left for producers to take? Maybe this is a

phase, maybe our society is going through its rebellious teen years and eventually will calm down and go

back to its modest self. I am uncertain the what is left for sitcoms to talk about, nothing is off limits

anymore.

Conclusion

Throughout my research I was able to determine the effect that Friends had on not only sitcoms, but

television as a whole. Friends took risks that producers before that time were too scared to take, this

opened up a new world of television to come. From this, I looked into what risks are left. This

introduced a new idea, that maybe the risks that Friends took had a negative effect on sitcoms; that

nothing is private anymore. However, these risks also paid off in a way, giving young adults a show they

can actually relate to. This idea of risk and reward was a way for the audience to look at the risks from

both points of view. By introducing the risks to the audience as positive and negative, I was able to put

my own input on the research.

As previously stated throughout my paper, Friends was a very influential in television. The audience of

the show can learn to appreciate it more if we are aware of the influences it had on other sitcoms. Until

the first episode of Friends, every other sitcom was the same. I find it to be extremely fascinating the

comparison of the family sitcoms before Friends, compared to the “copy cat” sitcoms that followed. As

an audience it is important that we see this transition in our society. It is important that we ask our selves;

is there anything we won’t broadcast? Whilst we are an ever growing society where is the stopping point?

When will we run out of these “risks”? Maybe we will go back to our olden ways, having very modest

television? Unlikely, but this leads us to further research, to look at where the world of television is going.

Works Cited

Bittle, Morgan. University Writing 1104. University of North Carolina Charlotte. 9 Oct. 2015

Carter, Bill. "Plot Twists Paid Off For 'Friends'" The New York Times. The New York Times, 17

Feb. 2002. Web. 14 Oct. 2015.

Dellacontrada, John. ""Friends" Reflected Change in American Society, Among First TV Shows to

Portray "Youth on Their Own"" University at Buffalo. UB News Center, 16 Apr. 2004. Web. 19 Oct.

2015.

Holmes, Linda. "You've Got To Have Friends: How Curated Families Shook Up TV Comedy." NPR.

NPR, 15 Oct. 2012. Web. 19 Oct. 2015.

Lauer, Matt. "'Friends' Creators Share Show's Beginnings." Msnbc.com. Dateline, 06 May 2004.

Web. 14 Oct. 2015.

Reporter, Hollywood. "'Friends' Timeline." Web.archive.org. The Hollywood Reporter, 6 May 2004.

Web. 14 Oct. 2015.

Rice, Lynette. "''Friends'' Demand a Raise." Ew.com. Entertainment Weekly, 21 Apr. 2000. Web. 14 Oct.

2015.

Shales, Tom. "A Big Hug Goodbye to 'Friends' and Maybe to the Sitcom." Washington Post. The

Washington Post, 7 May 2004. Web. 14 Oct. 2015.

Assignment 2

Kristina Harding

Introduction

Relationships, they are unavoidable, we make them at work, school, or even while

walking on the street. But there is that one relationship everyone is looking for, their “soulmate”.

That is what the show How I Met Your Mother is all about, the characters living in New York City

trying to find that one person they are meant to spend the rest of their lives with. But what

relationships are more likely to last, and are some people more likely to find their happily ever

after?

There are a number of things that have been observed to determine if they play a part in

someone finding their “soulmate”. Studies propose that certain personality types work better

together and that some personality types are more able to sustain a romantic relationship and

therefore more likely to find their perfect match. Some studies propose that parental

relationships from childhood also have an effect on one’s search for love.

In this paper my goal is to examine a number of different studies that propose different

variables for finding a “soulmate”. I am then going to apply this different variables to the cast of

How I Met Your Mother and see how they apply to their relationships. I personally am not

exceptionally knowledgeable of personality types or relationships so my main source of

knowledge will come from these studies.

Literature Review

Both the article "Influence of Attachment Style on Romantic Relationships" by Jeffrey A.

Simpson and "Attachment Style as a Predictor of Adult Romantic Relationships" by Judith A

Feeney and Patricia Noller explore the different attachment styles one can have in a relationship

and what effects that can have on a relationship. Jeffrey A. Simpson wrote about his

observations of 144 different couples dividing each partner into one of three different behavioral

groups; secure, avoidant, or anxious. He wrote about how the partners who exhibit the secure

style tend to gravitate towards a relationship with more trust, support, and independence while

those partners who exhibit avoidant styles will gravitate towards distant and unstable

relationships, and the anxious styles will typically develop relationships that lack

interdependence though they wish to have a stable relationship. Simpson also determined that

those partners that show an avoidant style will typically experience the least amount of

emotional distress after the relationship whereas anxious styles will experience the most. Judith

A Feeney and Patricia Noller also presented their observations made on the attachment styles,

secure, avoidant, or ambivalent, but on their attachment history and their beliefs about

relationships and how that affects how they treat their partners in a romantic relationship.

Feeney and Noller observed the self esteem, limerence, loving, love addiction, and love styles

of 374 undergraduate students. They found that secure styles typically had positive family

relationships which correlated to better treatment of their partners whereas secure and avoidant

styles had mistrust and separation from one of their parental figures which negatively affects

their treatment of their patterns decades later. These correlations between early family

relationships and the different attachment styles are relevant to the romantic relationships for

each of the characters in How I Met Your Mother.

Articles "Development and Validation of the Conflict in Adolescent Dating Relationships

Inventory" and "Young and in Love? Thank Mom And Dad, At Least A Little" both pertain to

impressions left from adolescents and how that affects adults relationships now. In

"Development and Validation of the Conflict in Adolescent Dating Relationships Inventory"

Grasley and Straatman explain their observations made of 1,019 students of the age 14-16 from

10 different high schools about abusive behaviors in adolescent dating relationships. In their

study there were two different question sections asked to all students; the first being abusive

conflict resolution strategies, which asked about abusive actions they may have been apart of,

the second being positive conflict resolution strategies, which asked about non-abusive actions

they may have been a part of. In "Young and in Love? Thank Mom And Dad, At Least A Little."

Singh explores the topic of how one's relationship with their parents may have an impact on

weather or not they have a successful relationship. This article follows a study conducted by the

National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health on 3,000 americans from high school to their

early 30’s, which resulted in the fact that those who had a strenuous relationship with their

parents during their adolescent years often experienced heartbreak later on, while those who

were close to their parents were more emotionally and physically satisfied in their adult

relationships. In the program How I Met Your Mother the stability or instability of the

relationships can be connected to their child relationships with their parents which ranged

dramatically between the actors. Though the actors in the program are not adolescent they do

occasionally have flashbacks to their youth relationships or romantic interactions with the

opposite sex and some do show some kinds of mental or emotional abuse.

You can find in "Soulmate Algorithms." and "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do, But Science

Can Help" the process of finding a relationship and also leaving one, and the effects they can

have on partners. In "Soulmate Algorithms" Fabrizio Luccio and Linda Pagli believe they have

found the best soulmate algorithms which include approximation, random search, and

consulting online sites as some on the methods. The algorithms are the naive approach (which

is arranged relationships), undecidability (an equation referring to The matrix M of Martin’s

courting steps), complexity and approximation (equation incorporating characteristics and

interests), and randomized algorithms (relying on unpredictable events). "Breaking Up Is Hard

To Do, But Science Can Help." by Maanvi Singh observes the psychology behind breakups and

the best ways to cope with them. With reference to a study conducted by the Social

Psychological and Personality Science he discouses how the brain and nervous system can

react in the same way as it would during cocaine withdrawal and the digestive system is mostly

affected by heart break which means many need to focus specifically on keeping up their health

after a breakup. The theme of the program How I Met Your Mother is finding your soulmate and

the randomized algorithm and naive approach are both used by the actors in multiple

situations.Also many of the characters experience dramatic changes in mood, appearance, or

desires after the enter into or leave a relationship.

The article "What We Learned From Our Month-Long Exploration Of #XCultureLove" by

Matt Thompson discusses relationships where the two partners are from different ethnicities or

cultural backgrounds and how that affects the relationship. There were four main topics that

were picked out as the most affectable topics in these relationships; food, background with other

races or cultures, family reactions, and different cultural experiences. In the program How I Met

Your Mother there are instances where relationships between different races or cultures do

happen and this does infact bring up some topics of discussion in the series.

Furman Wyndol and Duane Buhrmester bring up the inner workings of the Network of

Relationships Inventory in their article "Methods and Measures: The Network of Relationships

Inventory". They go on to discuss how different relationships are used to fulfill attachment,

caregiving, and affiliation. They explore relationships between same sex friends, different sex

friends, and romantic relationships and how they are used to satisfy things such as security,

support, criticism, companionship, safe heaven, etc. by 200 americans from a variety of

backgrounds. This article is relevant to the relationships in How I Met Your Mother because the

lines between friendship and romantic relationship is crossed multiple times and it's interesting

to see the satisfactions fulfilled by certain actors depending on their current relationship.

Entering the Conversation

Relationships are one of the most common things that we experience on a day to day

basis yet they are also one of the most confusing things to understand for many. The purpose

behind the whole program of How I Met Your Mother is showing the struggle of everyday adults

going through life trying to find that one person that is meant for them. All of the characters enter

into a number of relationships where it is obvious that there are a number of variables that play

into whether or not each relationship will last. How is it that Marshall and Lily, though they are so

different, were able to last the test of time; whereas Ted and Tracy, the mother of his children,

have almost every aspect of their personalities in common yet Robin ended up being Ted’s true

“soulmate”.

Through my research I have found a number of studies on how certain people most

likely won't be able to enter into a successful, lasting romantic relationship with certain other

people. They try to point the reasoning behind this at a number of different variables, such as

impressions left from their adolescent and them having different attachment or personality

styles. But what all these studies have in common is that they explain these ideas in scientific

terminology that is not common when discussing “soulmates”.

My proposal is to conduct a study that takes all the proposed ideas of what could

potentially affect one’s search for a “soulmate” and combines them to see if there are

correlations between all of the different variables. After doing so the other studies along with this

study should be published in a “Ted Talks” like video which puts these ideas and concepts into

latent terms. This will provide an in depth and understandable guide to all love seekers on what

can influence them finding a “soulmate”.

The studies I have used as in my research mostly take individuals and analyze their past

relationships and adolescent through a series of questions. This approach can have biased in

the instance that the interviewee does not answer truthfully due to a number of reasons such as

embarrassment or feeling uncomfortable with the interviewer due to sex or unfamiliarity. The

new study should be conducted on couples who are currently in a romantic relationship, that

way we can receive information from their perspectives on their past relationships and possible

adolescent influences and continue to follow their current relationship. This will give us more

information on how they see their relationships and their ideas on how and why they are

successful or unsuccessful which will initially provide more information on their personality and

attachment types. The new observations should also be recorded on a computer from any given

private location which will allow the observed couples to feel more comfortable in divulging their

personal information to strangers. It would also be interesting conducting an individual report of

each person, then conducting a couple report having them report on their relationship together.

This could provide information on how open the individuals are with each other of how they feel

and how that affects the relationship.

The second part of my proposal consists of a “Ted Talks” like video. The idea of this

video would be to present all of the data gathered through the new study along with the other

studies but in latent terms. The video would describe different scenarios with different

personality types, attachment types, and backgrounds and show which ones are more likely to

be each others soulmate. I would also present the different characteristic of each of the

variables providing the reader with knowledge so they could decipher which type they are and

then see which type would most likely be their soulmate.

The goal of my proposal is to simply make the process for one to find their “soulmate”

more understandable and comprehensible for everyday adults like those in How I Met Your

Mother.

Conclusion

The topics highlighted is what makes people potential “soulmates” for others and what

different variables that can determine that. The purpose for writing this was to help further the

understanding of what makes some couples work better than others.

Others who have already looked into this topic has come up with a number of potential

variables that decide if two people could enter into a lasting relationship with one another.

These variables consist of attachment types, influences from adolescents, and personality

types. I suggested a furtherance of this information by combining all the variables in one study

and look for correlations between them all and the effects on a romantic relationship.

With my new suggestion it will find more information on the topic which could make it

easier for understanding why some couples last and others don't. It will take the information that

others have already found from a number of studies and combine them into one which could

present certain correlations that couldn’t be made just from the individual studies. Also the “Ted

Talks” in my suggestions will help put all the terminology from these study to be put into latent

vocabulary som everyday people, like the actors in How I Met Your Mother, understand.

Some people spend their entire life to find that one person who they are meant to spend

the rest of their lives with, some end up finding multiple people who they think is that person but

later finds they aren't. What if there was a method to know exactly how is your person and know

the reasons why. That is what this research is working towards, making it simply and easy the

know why the person you think may be your “soulmate” might not be; but not just that but also

know what kind of person you should be looking for, to know exactly what characteristics

compliment yours in that perfect way to create a relationship that will last the test of time. This is

exactly what these studies and my proposed study are working towards, working towards

finding a way to simplify this process that everyone goes through.

Though it would be nice to simplify the process of finding a soulmate, what if it's just a

fairytale? What if there is just too many variables and too many unknowns to truly find a simpler

method, and all these studies and statistics is really only making it more complicated by adding

more to take into consideration? Maybe the only way to truly find a “soulmate” is just to go

through the motions like the actors in How I Met Your Mother and risk all the heartbreak and

time though it may not be the most desirable way.

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Furrman, Wyndoll, and Duane Buhrmester. "Methods and Measures: The Network of Relationships Inventory." International Journal of Behavioral Development (2009): 470-78. Web. <http://jbd.sagepub.com/content/33/5/470.full.pdf>.

Luccio, Fabrizio, and Linda Pagli. "Soulmate Algorithms." Programing Languages with Aplications to Biology and Security (1973): 283-91. Web. <http://download.springer.com/static/pdf/891/chp%253A10.1007%252F978-3-319-25527-9_18.pdf?originUrl=http%3A%2F%2Flink.springer.com%2Fchapter%2F10.1007%2F978-3-319-25527-9_18&token2=exp=1445287867~acl=%2Fstatic%2Fpdf%2F891%2Fchp%25253A10.1007%25252F978-3-319-25527-9_18.pdf%3ForiginUrl%3Dhttp%253A%252F%252Flink.springer.com%252Fchapter%252F10.1007%252F978-3-319-25527-9_18*~hmac=58fa03d67ec0d96657b46fc9930da38c6dba5a68f20936205140ba123efe148d>.

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Singh, Mannvi. "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do, But Science Can Help." NPR (2014): n. pag. Web. <http://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2015/01/13/376804930/breaking-up-is-hard-to-do-but-science-can-help>.

Singh, Mannvi. "Young and in Love? Thank Mom And Dad, At Least A Little." NPR. Your Health, 10 Feb. 2014. Web.

Thompson, Matt. "What We Learned From Our Month-Long Exploration Of #XCultureLove." NPR (2014): n. pag. Web. <http://www.npr.org/sections/codeswitch/2014/02/13/276543080/what-we-learned-from-our-month-long-exploration-of-xculturelove>.

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