Are You Married

to Your Wounds?

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Carl H. Stevens Jr. is pastor of Greater GraceWorld Outreach located in Baltimore, Maryland.Pastor Stevens is also chancellor of Maryland BibleCollege & Seminary and host of the internationalChristian radio program “The Grace Hour.” Thisbooklet was created from a message preached byPastor Stevens.

Pastor Stevens can be seen weekly on cabletelevision stations throughout the United States.Call us for information re g a rding programming inyour area.

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise noted, are from

the King James Version. Italics for emphasis are ours.

GRACE PUBLICATIONSP.O. BOX 18715

BALTIMORE, MD 21206

Printed in Baltimore, Maryland, U.S.A.

Copyright © 2003

Grace Publications is a ministry of

Greater Grace World Outreach, Inc.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Introduction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5

Chapter 1 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6

FIGHTING FAMILIARITY

Chapter 2 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12

CHOICES THAT LEAD TO THE ENEMY’S DEFEAT

Chapter 3 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17

SPIRIT-TAUGHT IN THE FINISHED WORK

CONCLUSION . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 23

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INTRODUCTION

People leave churches for a variety of re a-sons, many of which they are willing to openlyexpress. Often, people go away simply becausethey received the grace of God in vain—andthey don’t even discern what they are doing.

They hear the Scriptures, but instead ofg rowing in the grace and knowledge of JesusChrist, they leave. They refuse to stand in grace.As a result, they cannot cultivate an access toGod and rejoice in the hope of His glory. So, theymarry the wounds that reside in their uncon-scious minds. Those wounds begin to contro ltheir experiences, because Satan has damagedtheir capacity for God.

This booklet presents fresh thoughts in aneternal context on the subject of wounds. Whereone bad experience or bad decision will cause abruise, repeated acts will cause a wound. Here,we will show that these wounds can be molli-fied—but only with the oil of the Holy Spirit.

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Chapter One

FIGHTING FAMILIARITY

“Why should ye be stricken any more? yewill revolt more and more: the whole head issick, and the whole heart faint.

“ F rom the sole of the foot even unto thehead there is no soundness in it; but wounds,and bruises, and putrifying sores: they have notbeen closed, neither bound up, neither mollifie dwith ointment” (Isaiah 1:5-6).

“The thief cometh not, but for to steal, andto kill, and to destroy: I am come that they mighthave life, and that they might have it moreabundantly” (John 10:10).

As Christians, we can experience spiritualjoy in our emotions, which causes our pre s e n texperience to equal our eternal position. How isthat possible? It comes as we are Spirit-taught.When we hear the Word of God with sanctifiedears (ears that are accountable to heaven), usingopportunities of grace, we will be Spirit-taught.

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A Spirit-taught person doesn’t have “bad”spiritual days. He confesses his failure in an in-stant, so the moment does not become a minute,an hour, and then a day. The negative effects off a i l u re don’t carry over, accumulating sores thatbecome wounds. Instead, the Spirit-taught be-liever keeps growing in grace.

The Progression of the Opposition

Though we always need to gro w, we gro win grace. Even failure becomes an opportunityfor grace to meet us as we pro g ress in our Chris-tian walk. But standing against our progressionto such joy is Satan, the thief who comes to steal,kill, and destroy.

The Greek word for “steal” is k l e p t o, and itspeaks of embezzlement, which in this case isthe misappropriation of truth to the conscience,w h e re the norms and standards of the soul areweighed. The devil seeks to cheat us out of ourcapacity by getting us to live in self-conscious-ness and not God-consciousness.

The Greek word for “kill” is t h u o. Satan wantsm o re than just to steal. In fact, he aims to kill ourcapacities by rendering them lifeless. We end upsacrificing spiritual privileges to fulfill our fleshby entering into pleasure apart from God.

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Satan, however, is not satisfied with murd e r-ing our capacity. He knows that God has a wayof resurrecting things that have died. Therefore,he seeks to “destroy” (appolumi in the Greek), toannihilate the thing he killed so it can never bere s t o red—to completely destroy the believer’ swalk with God.

Familiarity: The Key to Destruction

As a thief, the devil comes to cheat your capa-c i t y. You may even attend services but you failto receive a blessing because you are fellowship-ping with a thief. He is trying to get your flesh tokill the things of God as you live in Adam on thebroad road to destruction.

A person on the road to destruction seeks tosave his life in order to have the unlimited priv-ileges of the broad road, though those privilegescome with a great price. The key that Satan usesto gain entrance to his capacity is familiarity.

Satan can only deceive minds that have be-come familiar with what God sees as rare, holy,and set apart for His use alone. Familiarity en-ters in where holiness has been stolen and eter-nal purpose has been destroyed, because theC ross (which re p resents the devil’s defeat onceand for all) has been nullified in our experience.

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Capacities Attacked in the Nervous System

Satan attacks capacities through the naturalprocess of the human psyche as it is attached tothe central nervous system of the body. This sys-tem controls the mind (conscious and subcon-scious) and the body, as millions of nerve cells(ganglia) respond to the billions of vibrations weencounter every moment of our lives.

Satan attempts to regulate these vibrationsin an effort to see that we become attached or“married” to the old sin nature and to the woundsfestering in our unconscious mind. Spirit-taughtbelievers may be broken yet they live in amazingrevival. But people who are married to theirwounds from the past do not hear the Wo rd thatwas sent to heal them (Psalm 107:20; Matthew4:23).

By responding to Satan’s lies, people havebeen supernaturally damaged, yet they blamesomeone on earth for their wounds. Try as theymight, they cannot find release. But Scripturesays that we wrestle n o t against flesh and blood,but against principalities and powers in the sa-tanic atmosphere (Ephesians 6:12).

Spiritual Sleepwalkers

“And that, knowing the time, that now it is

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high time to awake out of sleep: for now is oursalvation nearer than when we believed.

“The night is far spent, the day is at hand: letus therefore cast off the works of darkness, andlet us put on the armour of light” (Romans13:11-12).

Believers who are married to their woundsa re living in “somnambulism” or spiritual sleep-walking. The wounds of the unconscious mindhave worked their way into the conscious mind,causing them to be numb to God and to theWord. The result is confusion and projections ofguilt and insecurity that come from living inSatan’s lies. When this happens to a woman, shemay easily start to cry or to become jealous. Aman may fall into depression, anger, and jealousy.The sad thing is that it all began with allowingthe sacred to become familiar.

When it is allowed to enter the scene, famil-iarity hurts children and destroys families. Oneof the great sins today is with those who say, “Iwill not submit to a man’s authority,” even ifthat authority comes from God. Some pare n t sdon’t honor God and speak against other believ-ers, and then they wonder why the children startrebelling against Him.

But in spite of his attacks, the subtlety of the

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devil, who seeks to steal, kill, and destro y, isdefeated by humble men and women who alsobelieve that Jesus came to give life more abun-dantly (John 10:10b). They choose to be filledwith the Spirit as they walk by faith, moment tomoment.

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Chapter Two

CHOICES THAT LEAD TO THE ENEMY’S DEFEAT

“He that hath the Son hath life; and he thathath not the Son of God hath not life” (1 John5:12).

“ W h e re f o re lift up the hands which hangdown, and the feeble knees;

“And make straight paths for your feet, lestthat which is lame be turned out of the way; butlet it rather be healed.

“Follow peace with all men, and holiness,without which no man shall see the Lord:

“Looking diligently lest any man fail of thegrace of God; lest any root of bitterness spring-ing up trouble you, and thereby many be de-filed;

“Lest there be any fornicator, or profane per-son, as Esau, who for one morsel of meat soldhis birthright.

“For ye know how that afterward, when he

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would have inherited the blessing, he was re-jected: for he found no place of re p e n t a n c e ,though he sought it carefully with tears” (He-brews 12:12-17).

“Looking diligently” in Hebrews 12:15 ise p i s k o p e o in the Greek text. This speaks of guard-ing our hearts on purpose, and making choicesso that a root of bitterness does not spring up.

Who Is the Issue?

Esau made certain choices and ended up for-feiting what belonged to him by birthright. Hewas rejected because he was familiar with God,with Isaac his father, with Rebecca his mother,and with Jacob his bro t h e r. The thief came inand stole his purpose from him. His capacity forGod was robbed, then killed, and ultimately de-stroyed. He never did get saved but tried to liehis way through, spiritually speaking. Esau wasrejected because he lived for himself and madehis own life the issue.

Likewise, when challenged with the truth ofthe Gospel, many people make their own livesthe issue. Not wanting to let go of temporalpleasures, they choose to live for themselves in-stead of getting to know Jesus Christ personally.

Occasionally we hear of Christians who just

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get up and decide to leave their local churc h .Their church preaches the Gospel, but Satanstarts a conspiracy in their hearts that beginswith whispers, then voices. Even though God isblessing that church, they leave and stop the ex-periential blessings of grace for themselves andtheir families. They are still under God’s grace,but the blessings of that grace they cannot re-ceive. Too often, ministries get the blame whenthe reality is that those people personally failedthe grace of God and received it in vain.

Psalm 55:19 says that affliction comes tothose who do not change. There is never achange in their lives pertaining to grace. Theydo not receive a provision of grace for theirneed. They have no re v e rence for God’s grace,so they are afflicted. They reap what they havesown in their lives.

M o re churches have been destroyed thro u g hfamiliarity than through any other means. Fa-miliar people have been robbed and cheated bythe great thief, Satan. Their capacities for Godhave been destroyed.

Some say, “I don’t feel the same about God.” Many of us would agree that if we lived by

our feelings, we would have quit long ago. Thatis why I have developed a plan to deal with my

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feelings when they try to counsel me. I havenames for my feelings—Frustration, Resent-ment, Depression, and so on. I identify negativefeelings and I speak out against them with theWord of God. That way, they can never controlme.

By having faith in the living God, I can feeltruly blessed.

God Consciousness: Everything Is New

The Spirit-taught Christian hears messagesand is conscious only of what God is doing andnot of what is going on around him. When hehears his pastor preach about the grace andm e rcy that paid all his debt and the Blood thatwipes out every trace of a mark, it is as if he hadnever heard a Finished Work message before .This is true in the sense that every day is new.When we get up in the morning and must face aworld filled with its problems and satanic at-tacks, we must make brand-new decisions as wea re hid in Christ and His Wo rd. Unless we allowGod to bring renewal in the mind, unless wecontinue to see everything as new, then we willjust become proud knowledge-seekers.

“But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, norear heard, neither have entered into the heart of

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man, the things which God hath pre p a red forthem that love him.

“But God hath revealed them unto us by hisSpirit: for the Spirit searcheth all things, yea, thedeep things of God.

“For what man knoweth the things of a man,save the spirit of man which is in him? even sothe things of God knoweth no man, but theSpirit of God.

“Now we have received, not the spirit of theworld, but the spirit which is of God; that wemight know the things that are freely given to usof God.

“Which things also we speak, not in thew o rds which man’s wisdom teacheth, but whichthe Holy [Spirit] teacheth; comparing spiritualthings with spiritual.

“But the natural man receiveth not thethings of the Spirit of God: for they are foolish-ness unto him: neither can he know them, be-cause they are spiritually discerned.

“But he that is spiritual judgeth all things,yet he himself is judged of no man.

“For who hath known the mind of the Lord,that he may instruct him? But we have the mindof Christ.” (1 Corinthians 2:9-16).

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Chapter Three

SPIRIT-TAUGHT IN THE FINISHED WORK

“We then, as workers together with him, be-seech you also that ye receive not the grace ofGod in vain.

“(For he saith, I have heard thee in a time ac-cepted, and in the day of salvation have I suc-c o u red thee: behold, now is the accepted time;behold, now is the day of salvation.)

“Giving no offence in any thing, that theministry be not blamed:

“But in all things approving ourselves as theministers of God, in much patience, in aff l i c-tions, in necessities, in distresses,

“In stripes, in imprisonments, in tumults, inlabours, in watchings, in fastings;

“By pureness, by knowledge, by longsuffer-ing, by kindness, by the Holy [Spirit], by loveunfeigned,

“By the word of truth, by the power of God,

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by the armour of righteousness on the righthand and on the left,

“By honour and dishonour, by evil re p o r tand good report: as deceivers, and yet true;

“As unknown, and yet well known; as dying,and, behold, we live; as chastened, and notkilled;

“As sorrowful, yet alway rejoicing; as poor,yet making many rich; as having nothing, andyet possessing all things.

“O ye Corinthians, our mouth is open untoyou, our heart is enlarged.

“ Ye are not straitened in us, but ye are strait-ened in your own bowels” (2 Corinthians 6:1-12).

Every word of Scripture is brand-new. WhatI hear in Christ today is something I never knewb e f o re today. I hear the Wo rd and I am enrap-t u red—caught up—and I become consciousonly of what God is doing, not of what is goingon around me.

The Spirit-taught believer is not self-con-scious as he is being taught. He is only God-con-scious, being transformed and conformed toChrist’s image moment by moment.

When Paul says, “I beseech you that you re-ceive not the grace of God in vain,” in 2 Corinth-ians 6:1, he is saying that we must go fro m

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theology to reality. We must take what we haveh e a rd and experience it. We must let what wehear cross over into our lifestyle.

Some will judge others who have sinned,though they are covered in the process by theNew Covenant, in the plan of restoration (1 Cor-inthians 2:15). But a Finished Work Christiancannot be judged. He has passed from deathunto life. Yes, he is accountable and he is to bere s t o red through true repentance—but neverjudged. Judgment was passed on him once andfor all at the Cross. By faith, he and we nowstand as co-laborers together with God.

Obedience Brings Blessings

“Be ye there f o re merciful, as your Father alsois merciful.

“Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: con-demn not, and ye shall not be condemned: for-give, and ye shall be forgiven:

“Give, and it shall be given unto you; goodm e a s u re, pressed down, and shaken together,and running over, shall men give into yourbosom. For with the same measure that ye metewithal it shall be measured to you again” (Luke6:36-38).

“And the LO R D passed by before him, and

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proclaimed, The LORD, The LORD God, mercifuland gracious, longsuffering, and abundant ingoodness and truth” (Exodus 34:6).

“Judge not and you shall not be judged.”What is God talking about? He is talking aboutgrace and merc y. Grace is God giving us bless-ings that we don’t deserve, and mercy is Godwithholding penalties that we do deserve. Godshakes together all of our obedience, then Hebrings men and women to us who will bless usthe way we bless others. This is a mystical act ofsowing and reaping love.

That is the sad thing about Esau: He sowedthe wrong things. He never really turned toGod, who loved him when he couldn’t find aplace for repentance (Hebrews 12:17), though hecried and cried. God had paid for everythingEsau had done, yet Esau never got to know thatplace of love. Still, Esau was responsible becausehis father Isaac had taught these principles tohim. Rebekah made mistakes, but she alsotaught Esau about the love of God. He didn’tpay attention to what he heard, so it wasn’t realfor him when he needed it.

Esau’s familiarity with what he was taughtwas what destroyed him. He was married to hiswants and wounds and would not let love re l e a s e

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him. Love takes care of sin and even takes awaythe desire for sin so quickly, making us hungryfor more righteousness.

Humble Hearts Find Forgiveness

“And he spake this parable unto certain whicht rusted in themselves that they were righteous,and despised others:

“Two men went up into the temple to pray;the one a Pharisee, and the other a publican.

“The Pharisee stood and prayed thus withhimself, God, I thank thee, that I am not as othermen are, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or evenas this publican.

“I fast twice in the week, I give tithes of allthat I possess.

“And the publican, standing afar off, wouldnot lift up so much as his eyes unto heaven, butsmote upon his breast, saying, God be mercifulto me a sinner.

“I tell you, this man went down to his housej u s t i fied rather than the other: for every one thatexalteth himself shall be abased; and he thathumbleth himself shall be exalted” (Luke 18:9-14).

The publican was everything that the Phar-isee said he was—a fornicator and a cro o k —h o w e v e r, he wanted a change. He would not

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even look up to heaven. He didn’t dare to comenear the altar. He felt too guilty to even look uptoward heaven. All he could say was, “Lord, bemerciful to me a sinner.”

The Pharisee, on the other hand, was a manmarried to his religious unconscious mind. Heran down the list of what he had done for God.He fasted twice a week, and probably more thanmade up for it the rest of the week. But this mancould only congratulate himself. He was notfree; he was married to his wounds of legalism.

N o w, picture what God did in the publican’sheart. The Lord totally set him free. The HolySpirit let this man know that he was completelyforgiven. The thief, the murderer, the destroyerno longer had a hold on him. The Life Giver,Jesus Christ, filled him to overflowing eternallove that removed every trace of old wounds.

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CONCLUSION

If you have captured this message with anunderstanding heart, you realize that no matterhow intense the battle, you don’t have to faint.You are receiving the grace of God and growingin the Person of Grace. You cannot fail it evenwhen you fail. Failure is not failing grace; failureis making wrong decisions about something thathas already been paid for.

In 1 Chronicles 28:9, God declared to Solo-mon that He searches the heart to find whatcauses people to live in their wounds and marrytheir unconscious problems. God knows whypeople act the way they do. He searches all theunderstandings of the heart, and He recognizesevery imagination of every thought of everyman.

God knows the wounds we are clinging to,and He is trying to show us how we can be freef rom them. We have to recognize our need forHis grace. Grace does not force itself or its pro-

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vision into our experience. It is something wemust receive by faith. Then, no matter what kindof assault comes against us to rob, kill, and de-s t roy our joy, abundant life will be our re a l i t yday after day.

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