Chris was so drunk he didn’t realise he was doing karaoke into a marker pen…

Steamboat willie was always taking the mickey out of Marcus

Steve’s balls were so big he needed help holding them

One was Bonny, one was Clyde…(any guesses?)

Rumours that Marcus had once been a ‘mime artist’ were unfounded

some cad had painted Steve’s pint glass with a black rim

If you crossed Nigel chances are you'd wake up with a horses head next to you

Someone had super glued Martin's chair to stop him taking any more photographs

the two Oaps wondered where all the print managers had come from…

The hotel had a big mouse problem…

Hypnotised into thinking she was a cat, Cheryl couldn’t stop herself…

Lord Lucan was in the bar with George Mellie

Janine quite liked being able to pee standing up…

She knew she would have a sword throat in the morning

Derek was always playing around…

Everyone knew; Nige was a shoe-in for the next James Bond…

Bending over to pick up his golf ball had been a mistake…

Steve had forgotten to take the clothes hanger out of his suit

…that was the main thing

Rebecca was the only girl still in her twenties…

When Derek asked for the BIll he got some old geezer instead

The Village people were not aging well…

duncan’s Drip constantly needed topping up…

Ian was thrilled he’d won an iPad not an eye-patch

photoshopping out all the pint glasses was becoming a real pain

The bloke in the purple jacket desperately wanted to measure Darren's inside leg…

darren hoped he had warm hands

bob was uncomfortable balancing the APME logo on his head

Michelle was looking forward to drying out…(over a couple of bottles of red)

Once again Simon forgot the words to 'dancing Queen'…

the conference theme had Andrew checking his pockets for spare change

unbeknown to Andrew, the small print said: ‘No more puns’

when he woke up, he hoped it had all been a dream…

it was like a hen party… but with more feathers