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Area of StudyBelonging

Week 5

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Area of Study1Belonging

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WEEK 5 Revision of Lesson 4 – Visual Texts Syllabus Requirements for Paper 1 Section 2 Sample Question, Examination Rubric & Marking Criteria Elements of a Creative Piece A Thesis for your Narrative Homework – Writing Scaffold

REVISION LESSON 4 - VISUAL TEXTS

Let’s begin with a revision of the visual text questions on the photograph and feature article set forhomework. Discuss your responses and any area of concern.

Text 1: Photo

1. What aspect of belonging can be perceived in the photo? (1 mark)

Criteria Marks

Identifies or describes one aspect of belonging in thephoto

1

Possible answers

The soldiers share a bond or affinity through a common experience, adversity A positive sense of belonging through mateship, comradeship A unified group, connected by their humour Men who feel a sense of belonging to a particular group, i.e. army An historical sense of belonging, a responder being invited to connect with soldiers of the

past who are displaying their bravery





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2. How does the photographer use 2 visual techniques to create certain impressions ofbelonging? (3 marks)

Criteria Marks

Explains or makes known in detail how two visualtechniques create an impression of belonging

3

Explains or makes known in some detail how one or twovisual techniques create an impression of belonging

2

Explains or describes in a limited way how an impressionof belonging is created

1

Possible answers

The body language and facial expressions of the soldiers gives the impression of mateshipand camaraderie. This is represented by arms on each other’s shoulders and smiling faces

The impression of belonging is achieved through proxemics. The four men have bonded forthe photo and are physically close to each other. They have shared a common experience ofpersonal loss caused by war

The use of black and white photography gives an historical perspective on belonging. Aresponder will reflect on a past event that displays the collective bravery of the four men

The photographer’s use of contrast creates a sense of unity and strength in a time ofadversity. The background of what appears to be primitive and abject conditions isjuxtaposed with the good humour and positive body language of the soldiers

3. Explain how the visual text supports the written text. (2 marks)

Criteria Marks

Makes known in detail how at least two visual featuressupport ideas in the written text

2

Makes known in some detail how at least one visualfeature supports ideas in the written text

1

Possible answers

The photo of Kylie Kwong with a happy facial expression and relaxed body language supportsthe text that states she is ‘drawn to Australia’s lifestyle’ and ‘appreciates’ her environment.Both the visual feature and text reinforce her positive sense of belonging

The background panoramic shot of the Tasmanian wilderness supports the descriptive detailof the text. Superlatives such as ‘physical beauty’, ‘paradise’, ‘Beautiful orange rocks’ and‘amazing’ air, reinforce the image of Kylie Kwong standing happily in the environment thatshe belongs





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4. Evaluate how effectively these TWO texts examine the relationship between identity andbelonging. (5 marks)

Criteria Marks

Analyses and explains in detail how two texts successfullyexplore the relationship between identity and belonging

Supports ideas with a variety of well-chosen textualreferences from two texts

4-5

Explains in some detail how two texts are effective inexploring the relationship between identity and belonging

Supports ideas with some textual references from bothtexts

2-3

Describes how one or two texts relate to belonging in ageneral sense

Supports ideas with little or no textual reference

1

Possible answers

Text 1

The composer successfully illustrates a sense of belonging and identity by juxtaposing animage of four soldiers in good humour with a background image of primitive and abjectconditions. The composer has effectively captured the men in a moment of mateship despitetheir adversity

The composer has effectively captured a significant historical moment by clearly identifyingthe bravery of four soldiers. The personal loss caused by war is represented by the makeshiftartificial limbs and walking aids, and yet their bravery is illustrated by their bond andcollective sense of identity with arms on each other’s shoulders

The composer’s use of black and white photography provides an historical perspective onidentity and belonging. The four men obviously belong to a war from many years past andcan be identified by a contemporary responder as men who have dealt with their adversity asa unified group





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Text 2

This text is most effective in establishing the relationship that exists between belonging andidentity. Clearly, the photograph is well supported by the text in persuading the responderthat Kylie Kwong has a strong sense of belonging to Australia as well as her cultural heritagein China. Firstly, her dual sense of identity is conveyed in the photograph, depicting herpositive connection with the Tasmanian environment. Her smiling face and relaxed posture asshe leans against a rock with the panoramic shot of the wilderness in the background isreinforced by the word choice in the text, including superlatives such as ‘beautiful’, ‘amazing’and ‘liberating’.

Secondly, the article successfully explores what it is to belong and what gives people a senseof identity. The fact that she has found a connection with two places (Australia and China)suggests that one’s identity is not just based on where you live, but how you interact withinthe various environments you may encounter. Kylie Kwong has found a positive connectionand enhanced sense of who she is by accepting and understanding two diverse environments.Her connection with Australia is established through the comfortable pose in the Tasmanianwilderness in the photo, followed immediately by the text that states that ‘Sydney is always ahomecoming’. The incorporation of the quote ‘It reinforced my love of eastern philosophy’ iscleverly placed to then suggest she has found a comfortable sense of her cultural heritage.

SYLLABUS REQUIREMENTS FOR PAPER 1 SECTION 2

In this section of the exam you will be required to write a creative piece about the concept ofbelonging. This can often be a daunting or difficult task for many students, as they don’t considerthemselves creative or imaginative enough to complete a successful story. This inadequacy can beovercome by doing a number of specific things:

Read and analyse a number of short stories that are highly regarded (like All Summer in aDay)

Understand what elements can be used to write an engaging story Write a series of short stories that can be proofread and appraised for their accuracy and

creativity Have a sound understanding of the concept of belonging

This section of the exam is worth 15 marks and you should spend approximately 40 mins on the task.Therefore, it is a good idea to ensure that your practice sessions are of equal time.





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SAMPLE QUESTION, EXAMINATION RUBRIC AND MARKING CRITERIA

SAMPLE QUESTION

The question in the exam will determine the type of response you are required to write and givedirection in terms of audience, purpose and context. Let’s have a look at a typical question:

‘The need to belong can lead to conflict, but also unexpected benefits.’

Use this statement as the basis for a narrative that would be suitable for a High School publicationon Belonging.

This question provides you with a thesis (a theme) on belonging, an audience (high school students),a purpose (write about the positive and negative effects of belonging), and a context (a narrative).What you will find is that the question will often allow you to explore the notion of belonging in awide variety of ways. This is why it is worthwhile to have the basis of a ‘generic story’ on belongingmapped out before you do the exam. You will find in most cases you can ‘gear’ your ideas to the taskat hand.

EXAMINATION RUBRIC

The rubric will be written on the question page and gives you an outline of the skills you will bemarked on.

In your answer you will be assessed on how well you:

Express understanding of belonging in the context of your studies Organise, develop and express ideas using language appropriate to audience, purpose and

context





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MARKING CRITERIA

The following criteria are a guideline for how your creative piece will be marked. Discuss each point interms of what they mean and require of you.

Criteria Marks

Demonstrates excellent writing skills for the audience and purpose ofa high school publication

Displays highly developed skills in using sophisticated stylistic deviceswith accuracy, originality and imagination

Maintains a consistent use of appropriate form and language featuresfor the text type

Explores insightfully how belonging can be conflicting as well asbeneficial

13-15

Demonstrates sound writing skills for the audience and purpose of ahigh school publication

Displays well-developed skills in using stylistic devices with accuracy,originality and imagination

Uses the appropriate form and language features for most of the task Explores perceptively how belonging can be conflicting as well as

beneficial

10-12

Demonstrates satisfactory writing skills for the audience and purposeof a high school publication

Displays the ability to use stylistic devices that illustrate someimagination, but not necessarily original

Uses suitable form and language features, although lacks consistency Explores some ideas on how belonging can be conflicting as well as

beneficial

7-9

Demonstrates inconsistent writing skills, with little recognition ofaudience or purpose

Attempts to use some stylistic devices, but with limited imagination Uses some satisfactory form and language features, but lacks

consistency Mainly discusses belonging in general terms, with little or no

reference to conflict or benefits

4-6

Demonstrates limited writing skills, with little or no recognition ofaudience or purpose

Little attempt to use stylistic devices or imagination Uses inappropriate form and language features Limited comprehension of belonging

1-3





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ELEMENTS IN A SHORT STORY

The essence of a successful creative piece is the ability to engage your reader. This can be achieved bybeing attentive to three key aspects. The first is to incorporate a range of techniques that allow yourstory to be told in a seamless and interesting manner. The second is to have a clear thesis in mindthat dictates the central theme of your story. A combination of these two aspects will go a long wayto ensuring your story will be well received. The third aspect is to practise your skills as much aspossible and continue to refine your creative piece through collaboration with teachers/tutors andother readers.

In order to acquire the skills necessary for a successful narrative, you first need to become proficientin utilising a range of techniques. Using an extract from All Summer in a Day as an example, let’sobserve how Bradbury ensures an engaging narrative.

EXERCISE 1 READING & WRITING

Complete the following exercise by linking the technique with the appropriate example from theextract, followed by completing the table to explain its effect. An example has been done for you.

"Now?"

"Soon.”

"Do the scientists really know? Will it happen today, will it?"

"Look, look; see for yourself!"

The children pressed to each other like so many roses, so many weeds intermixed,peering out for a look at the hidden sun.

It rained.

It had been raining for seven years; thousands upon thousands of days compoundedand filled from one end to the other with rain, with the drum and gush of water, withthe sweet crystal fall of showers and the concussion of storms so heavy they weretidal waves come over the islands. A thousand forests had been crushed under therain and grown up a thousand times to be crushed again. And this was the way lifewas forever on the planet Venus, and this was the schoolroom of the children of therocket men and women who had come to a raining world to set up civilization andlive out their lives.

Dialogue Hook

Third person narration

Short sentences / paragraphs Repetition

Figurative language





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"It's stopping, it's stopping!"

"Yes, yes!"

Margot stood apart from them, from these children who could never remember atime when there wasn't rain and rain and rain. They were all nine years old, and ifthere had been a day, seven years ago, when the sun came out for an hour andshowed its face to the stunned world, they could not recall. Sometimes, at night, sheheard them stir, in remembrance, and she knew they were dreaming andremembering gold or a yellow crayon or a coin large enough to buy the world with.She knew they thought they remembered a warmness, like a blushing in the face, inthe body, in the arms and legs and trembling hands. But then they always awoke tothe tatting drum, the endless shaking down of clear bead necklaces upon the roof,the walk, the gardens, the forests, and their dreams were gone.

Complete the table overleaf.

Verb / adverb choice

Adjectives

Reactions

Anecdote Point ofview

Personification





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Technique Example EffectDialogue ‘Now?’

‘Soon.’The writer begins the story with dialogueto create a sense of immediacy. A readerwill want to know what the charactersare expecting, who and where they are,etc.





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What we can observe in this extract is the writer’s ability to make the action of the story as vivid aspossible. This has been achieved through the careful sequencing of events, the appropriatetechniques, and the ability to show the reader what is happening rather than telling. For example, inthe final paragraph of the extract you would have noticed that Margot is ‘shown’ to be an isolatedfigure through her actions and memories, rather than ‘telling’ us that ‘Margot was different to theother children because she could remember the sun and they couldn’t’. In other words, some of thecharacteristics are implied by the way the character acts and thinks. Readers like to make connectionsto become more involved in the narrative.

The narration is also driven by the careful selection of verbs and adverbs. These action words areparticularly important in narrative writing in painting a vivid picture for the reader. Consider thewords ‘pressed’ and ‘peering out’ to illustrate the sense of unity among the children; ‘crushed’ toshow the effect of the rain on the landscape; and ‘stood apart’, ‘dreaming and remembering’ toestablish Margot’s isolation.

Comparisons are also used to ensure that the action of the story is vivid. There are numerousexamples from the extract that reinforce the impressions we get from the more direct descriptions.They include ‘like so many roses, so many weeds’, ‘the sweet crystal fall of showers’, and ‘…it showedits face [the sun] to the stunned world’.

The reactions of the characters within the extract also help us to be engaged in the story. Thesentence that begins, ‘She knew they thought…’, helps us to see the events from the point of view ofthe main character. Including a character’s perspective enhances the third person narration.





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A THESIS FOR YOUR NARRATIVE

Having built a foundation in terms of techniques it is now important to consider a thesis for yournarrative. You need to establish a main theme that you will sustain throughout the story. Obviously,for our purposes here, your main theme will be belonging, but you need to work out what particularaspect you wish to consider. Of course, the question or stimulus you are given in an exam situationwill determine the theme you need to incorporate into your response, however, it is wise to have thebasis of a narrative that you can ‘manipulate’ to suit the task. It is very difficult to go in totallyunprepared and be highly creative in 40 minutes, unless of course you have a great talent in thisregard. The tasks tend to be generous in this section and give you plenty of scope to incorporatesome of your preconceived ideas.

EXERCISE 2 BRAINSTORM ACTIVITY

Consider the following theses as the basis for a narrative on belonging. Select one (or one of your ownin consultation with the tutor) and brainstorm some ideas in terms of a narrative that you will developover the coming weeks. Discuss your ideas within the group once you have completed the activity.The first thesis is taken from All Summer in a Day.

Possible theses: Belonging is complex and problematic. Attempting to be part of a new group

or entering into a new environment can be daunting. An individual whochallenges a group can face fear and isolation, but it can also be restorativeand enrich the individual and the group.

Not belonging or rebelling against a society’s values can be illuminating andtransformative. Despite the dangers and conflict involved in this process,individual’s can be responsible for breaking down outmoded views andvalues.

Belonging to a community can place great pressure on an individual andcompel them to do things they normally wouldn’t do. They can be the‘possession’ of a community that requires them to adhere to a strict moralcode that devalues them as human beings.

Belonging to a group that respects the identity and talents of the individualis empowering and enhances the group as a whole. It creates a dynamicprocess of positive interaction and is a cause for celebration. This can only beachieved through hard work and continuous re-evaluation of values.

What you may have noticed is that all of these lines of thought could be utilised as a thesis for thesample question discussed earlier.

Brainstorm your ideas for a creative piece. Remember that originality and imagination are key factorsin assessing your response, so you don’t have to limit yourself to ‘real’ situations or people. This isonly an initial sketch; so don’t be surprised if you make considerable changes as you go along.





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Elements: setting, characters, narrative stance, plot outline/rising action (linked to your thesis),conflicts (linked to belonging or not belonging and your thesis), potential stylistic devices(techniques), climax, resolution. However, don’t go overboard with the number and complexity ofyour elements, remember you will only have 40 minutes in the HSC exam to write your story – thatmeans your story must begin and resolve itself within 4-6 hand-written pages.

Thesis:

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HOMEWORK – STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS WRITING

Stream of Consciousness writing refers to thoughts and feelings which flow, with no apparent logic,through the mind of the writer. What you are attempting to do in this exercise is to write without toomuch ‘thinking’ and allow yourself to exercise your imagination.

Look at the following image for a few minutes and then start to write. Think about the peopledepicted -who they are, what they are doing (and why), how they got there and why one of themmight be going. Describe them. Have them say something. After considering these ideas start to write.Don’t stop to think, but let the words flow out of you. It doesn’t matter at this stage what you write,the idea is to just do it. Usually after about 15-20 minutes you will find ideas/thoughts coming outthat you didn’t know you had.

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