Erin has her twin daughters Karizma (Izzy)and Keairah (Keke) dressed for the day. They

are watching television while she finishes gettingready. The trio are going to ride on the PigglyWiggly Supermarket’s float in the annual SanfordChristmas parade later in the day and the twogirls are excited.

The months since Erin arrived at BCH’s OakRanch in June have passed quickly. Her life hasbeen a whirlwind since the morning, almost two years ago, when she awoke from a drunken stuper and had what she calls an “epiphany.”

“Suddenly, I thought ‘I can’t do this any-more,’” Erin recalls. “I came to a realization thatI had to get out of this and I believed I could doit. I believed that I could overcome it.”

Erin had lost everything. Her twins and Erin’s two older children were taken from her by the department of social services after she was

arrested on drug-related charges. The twins’ fatherwas physically abusive and was in jail. Alone, shedulled the pain by drinking.

“I didn’t know ifI would ever get mychildren back, but

I felt the Holy Spirit say I could,” she confides.After detox and months at a Christian-based

group home for moms recovering from addic-tions, Erin was reunited with her twins. Theolder children continue to live with their father.

“I was told I would never get my childrenback,” she says, “but nine months later the girlswere with me.”

Erin says it is difficult to battle the addictions.

“It consumes you – it’s hard,” she says. “Satanmakes things looks so appealing, but that lifestyletakes everything out of you. Most moms don’tmake it as far as I have.”

Erin attributes all her success to her faith in God. She says it is God who has brought her to Oak Ranch and to a brighter future.

“I had nothing but faith,”she says. “That has beenwhat has brought me back – God’s grace and mercy. I give all thanks to Him.”

Being part of BCH’sFamily Care program is helping Erin get back onher feet. She works at Piggly Wiggly as a cashier.She is focused on saving her money and is disci-plined – budgeting every dollar. She recently wasable to purchase an automobile for her family’s

transportation. Erin is intent on working to makea good life for her children, and Oak Ranch is theperfect place to begin.

“It is so peaceful at Oak Ranch,” Erins says.“You can focus on making things better. I wakeup in the morning not stressed. I don’t have toworry about the girls’ well-being. We are all safe

and our needs are met.”Erin begins classes in January at the

local community college to study businessadministration. She says she is becomingself-reliant and is determined never to gettrapped in bad relationships again. She says

the new freedom is boosting her self confidence.“I never could have imagined that a place like

Oak Ranch was available,” Erin says. “When youdon’t have anything, you can’t see how you aregoing to ever put everything together.”

Erin experiencesGod’s grace ___________________________________________________

By W. James Edminson, Editor

Above, Erin and her twin daughters Keke and Izzy call Oak Ranch home. The sisters are flourishing while their mom works hard to regain control of her family’s life. Erin works and begins classes at the local community college

in January. Left, Erin and two-year-old Izzy spend one-on-one time.

Charity&ChildrenAnd now abides faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity. Baptist Children’s Homes of North Carolina

There is still time! $130,000 Challenge will match your gift dollar for dollar between now and January 31, 2013 (see page 5)

1/13_________________ 126/1_________________

[ “Find time to talk together.” – Blackwell }[ “God speaks to us in each situation.” – Baltzell }

H O P E HOPE changes lives and dispels

darkness.

What makes a family strong? Why dosome families start out with such great

promise only to end up on the ash heap of fail-ure? Here are 12 suggestions for keeping ourfamilies strong and alive:

1. Share your personal problems and ideas. A woman married 20 years told merecently that her husband was just getting to thepoint where he could openly share his feelingswith her. He didn’t think he was very “deep” so he didn’t think he had much to share. Thewoman, who had been yearning for such inti-macy, said his new sense of openness and trusthas revitalized their marriage.

2. Divide responsibilities according to age,interest and capability. If mother does every-thing for the child, especially those things thechild should be doing for himself, he will have a rude awakening when Mom is no longeraround. Children want responsibility, but theymust be shown what to do.

3. Instill moral behavior in all family members and hold them accountable for high moral standards. In many ways, familyrules have been abandoned. Everything goes: infidelity as natural as taking a breath; divorceupon demand; cyber bullying; teenagers with alcohol and drug problems. Moral values are bothcaught and taught. Be a good example and askothers to follow your lead.

4. Find times to be together as a family.This may mean giving up a special school activity toget away for the weekend.Don’t let added work responsibilities infringe onprecious family time. No one will make the timefor you. You must do that yourself. Learn to say“no” to those things which don’t really matter.

5. Establish your family on a strong religiousfoundation. In my work, I see a lot of hurt, brokenness and despair. I see adults whose moralcompasses have gone haywire and won’t stopspinning. I see victims of betrayal and desertion –people whose emotional lives are damaged beyondrepair. I see inadequate religious foundations.

6. Respect the individuality of each family member – includinghis right to privacy and independ-ent thinking.Parents shouldn’t want their children to be clones of themselves.Neither should they take offensewhen their children don’t want to be with them, preferring instead to be with their friends. Parentsshouldn’t try to get all oftheir own emotional andspiritual needs met throughtheir children. Long after thechildren have left home, thehusband and wife will have arelationship that will continueto need love and nurture.

7. Bring generations together in order to begin or maintain special family traditions.Keep a thorough family history. Wheneverpossible, allow children to have plenty of timewith their grandparents.

8. Learn to listen. Listening takes time. Family members “talk over” one another. Few of us do much active listening. Active listeninghears feelings as well as words. A good listenercan be a good helper.

9. Find time to talk together. Mealtime is excellent, but often this is a stress-filledand tense time. Even a few minutes to leteach person “report” on his day’s activities is better than nothing. And if your familynever has a meal together, then perhaps

you need this suggestion more than most.10. Encourage friendships and

experiences outside the family. Too much togetherness can stifle growth. Husbandsshouldn’t resent their wives participating in cultural and educational opportunities. And vice-versa. Not every experience can or must beshared within the exclusive confines of the family.

11. Learn to confront problems head on.Communication is the key. Don’t nurse grudges

or harbor resentments. When a problem arises,deal with it immediately. Problems multiplywhen they aren’t handled quickly.

12. Ask for outside help when needed.We can’t solve all our problems alone. Some-times other family members can’t help either.The most courageous thing to do is to seek thehelp of an outside counselor, friend or minister.Families whose communication process has broken down can and should seek outside help if they are going to survive.

There is no magic ingredient that will make a family strong. It takes every memberworking together and seeking the mind of Christ

to make a family the grandest cre-ation in God’s beautiful world.

____________________________________________________________________

2 1/13 – Charity + Children – 126/1

Charity & Children – Baptist Children’s Homes of North Carolina, Inc., 204 Idol St., P.O. Box 338, Thomasville, NC 27361-0338. Michael C. Blackwell, publisher; W. James Edminson, editor (email: wjedminson@bchfamily.org); J. Blake Ragsdale, managing editor (email: jbragsdale@ bchfamily.org). Charity & Children (ISSN 0009-1723-09 USPS 100-460) is published 11 times a year for friends and supporters of Baptist Children’s Homes and is printed at Triangle Web Printing, Durham, NC. It is mailed by Excalibur, Winston-Salem, NC.Circulation: 62,000 seven times a year, 30,000 four times a year. Periodicals postage paid at Thomasville, NC, and at additional mailingoffices. For free subscription, or to be removed from the mailing list or make address correction or change, write circulation manager Karen Fincher (using the above address), email her at kfincher@bchfamily.org or call her at 336-474-1209. Subscribe onlineat www.bchfamily.org/contact/index/charityandchildren. POSTMASTER: Send change of address to Charity & Children, P.O. Box 338,Thomasville, NC 27361-0338.

More stories at www.bchfamily.org

Michael C. Blackwell leads the ministry with vigor and enthusiasm. He has served as president of BaptistChildren’s Homes since 1983 and has a record-setting 29-year tenure.

M O R E MORE inspiration in

every issue.

[ MY THOUGHTS }

Making the family God’s grandest creation –Blackwell’s suggestions can help_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

By Michael C. Blackwell, President/CEO

________________ ________

Severe abuse as a boy left Sedrick confined to a wheelchair and disabled. Today, he lives

at Stegall Home in Marshville – one of nine BCHDevelopmental Disabilities Ministry homes locatedacross the state.

Because of his hardships, Christmas has not always been a season of happiness – but this Christmas was a time of great joy. A grateful Sedrickbeamed brightly and waved as he participated in theMonroe Christmas Parade held on November 18.He was selected as the 2012 Monroe Civitan Club’s“Special Citizen of the Year.” The affirmation he received by being honored by the award capped off a tremendous year for Sedrick.

Because of the support of North Carolina Bap-tists and other friends, Sedrick underwent a surgicalprocedure in 2011 that he hoped would restore hisability to walk. In August 2012, he was able to risefrom his wheelchair and, with the aid of a walker,take his first steps.

Like Sedrick, the hearts of all those served byBaptist Children’s Homes are filled with gratitude.Christmastime brings an outpouring of kindnessthat creates bright new memories for children and residents. Colorfully-wrapped presents, holidaytreats and visits remind all that they are loved.

Thank you for making joyous Christmas memories for Baptist Children’s Homes’ children,residents and families!

Giving online is fast and safe at www.bchfamily.org/givenow

[ THANK YOU NORTH CAROLINA BAPTISTS AND OTHER FRIENDS }

Christmas is time to create bright, new memories –Everyone’s hearts overflow with gratitude_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Consider giving your vehicle to help BCH! Your donated vehicle becomes a vital part of ourministry. Vehicles are used to drive BCH residents to school, doctor visits, church activities and otherevents. Tax benefits are available. For more information, call Brenda Gray at 1-800-476-3669,ext. 1230.

____________________________________________________________________

1/13 – Charity + Children – 126/1 3

Clockwise, boys at Cameron Boys Camp create festive decorations from what they find near their camp-sites. Weekday Education children receive hand-craftedcarts and stuffed animals from Bill Dorrity. Family Care

mom Lisa helps daughter Jazmine on the bicycle she received during the Bikers Toy Run. Drake Cottage resident

Eric receives gifts from Santa. DDM resident Sedrick participates in the Monroe Christmas parade.

On New Year’s eve, we stay up late and wait for the clock to strike midnight. If

you are in New York City, you go to Times Squareand watch the crystal ball drop. If you are inBrasstown, North Carolina, you go to the annual“Possum Drop.” Many of our churches have“watch night services” and pray in the new year.New Year’s is a time for family gatherings and celebration – and a time for football games, lots of them.

As the Christmas season fades and the new year arrives, we jump into our work weeks at fullsteam and welcome familiar routines. The begin-ning of the new year is a time when we look backover the previous year and begin to plan for theone to come.

One of the things we associate with the new yearis making New Year’s resolutions. Have you evermade any resolutions? Some of the most familiarare resolutions that have to do withour weight (we have too much!) or money (we need to save more!)

One famous set of resolutionswas created by Jonathan Edwards.Edwards was widely acknowledgedas one of the key revivalists in the Great Awakeningof the 1730s and 1740s. Edwards adopted 70 reso-lutions that he committed himself to live by. Hereare three of his resolutions.

Edwards’ determination to study the Bible is revealed in this resolution: Resolved, to study theScriptures so steadily, constantly and frequently, as that I may find, and plainly perceive myself to grow in the knowledge of the same.

Edwards was also commit-ted to giving his whole life toChrist: Resolved, Never hencefoward, till I die, to act as if I were any way my own, but entirely and altogether God’s.

Finally, Edwards was committed to spiritual growth and development: Resolved, To strive to my utmost every week to be brought higher in religion,and to a higher exercise of grace,than I was the week before.

One of the striking things aboutEdwards’ resolutions is that he wrotethem when he was 19 years old! He also committed to read the resolutions at least once a week. One thing Edwardswrote that gives us some insight into hismind, was the preface to the resolutions.

It reads as follows: Being sensible that I am unable to do anything without God’s help, I do humbly entreat Him by His grace to enable me to keep these resolutions, so far as they are agreeable to His will for Christ’s sake.

In these words, the character and temperamentof true humility are clear. No matter what resolu-tions we make this New Year, without God’s helpnothing significant is going to change.

So, here are a few resolutions that we at BaptistChildren’s Homes embrace:

First, we will see every child as a gift from God,recognize his or her need to be loved uncondition-

ally, and nourish every ounce of thatchild’s God-given potential.

Second, we will do our very best before God to make sure thateach child and family who comeswill experience God’s lovethrough our care – actively en-couraging them to respond per-sonally to His love in their lives.

Third, we will always seek to be good stewards of thegifts of time, talents and financial resources that youour faithful partners in ministry entrust to us.

As we begin a newyear, we thank you for

the many years you have resolved to support this ministry. And we in turn resolve to remember that we could not do what we do without you!

Let us each resolve to begin the new year, striving to share hope and change lives. God blessyou and your families as we begin this new year of ministry together.

For more information on how you can be part of changing lives through Baptist Children’sHomes, call me at 1-800-476-3669 or 336-474-1230. Our needs and our projects are as numerous

as the number of children and fami-lies served each year.

Refer a child or family at www.bchfamily.org/referral

[ WORTHWHILE INVESTMENTS }

Resolve to begin new year by sharing hope –Your support is essential!_______________________________________________________________________________________________

By Brenda B. Gray, Executive Vice President, Development & Communications

Brenda Gray’s passion is children. She serves BCH as the executive vice president, development & communications. Gray directs all fund-raising/friend-raising activities for the state-wide services.

G I V E GIVE to make an eternal

difference.

Will you plan your financial legacy to help children? Will you?_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

What do Carra Johnston, Susan Bland and Martha Beach all have in common?

They were all women of faith, they each lovedchildren, and they each made a difference in the lives of children and families during their life-times and beyond. They chose to leave a legacyof caring for the least of these. Will you? Willyou continue your support by leaving a legacythat will change lives into the future? Will you?

January is “Make Your Will” month.Consider preparing or updating your will usingone or more of these generally accepted ways to make a bequest.

Specific bequest: This is a gift of a specific itemto a specific beneficiary.

General bequest: This is usually a gift of a stated sum of money.

Contingent bequest: This is a bequest made on condition that a certain event must occur before distribution to the beneficiary.

Residuary bequest: This is a gift of all the“rest, residue and remainder” of your estate afterall other bequests, debts and taxes. The previousitems can apply in the case of bequests to individ-ual heirs or bequests to charitable organizations.

The following are considerations when plan-ning a charitable bequest for BCH.

Unrestricted bequest: This is a gift for BCH’sgeneral purposes – to be used at the discretion of BCH’s governing board.

Restricted bequest: This gift allows you tospecify how the funds are to be used. It’s best to consult BCH when you make your will to becertain your intent can be honored.

Honorary or memorial bequest: This gift is

given “in memory of” or “in honor of” someone.Endowed bequest: This bequest restricts the

principal of a gift, requiring us to hold the fundspermanently and use only investment income.

The official legal bequest language for Baptist Children’s Homes of North Carolina is:“I, [name], of [city, state, ZIP], give, divide andbequeath to Baptist Children’s Homes of NorthCarolina, Inc. [written amount or percentage of the estate or description of property] for its unrestricted use and purpose.

Anonymous gifts will be kept confidential. But allowing us to recognize your gift can encourageothers to do the same.

Call Brenda Gray, Executive Vice President,Development & Communications, at 336-474-1230 or Wiley Doby, BCH’s Director of PlannedGiving, at 336-497-1703.

____________________________________________________________________

4 1/13 – Charity + Children – 126/1

________________________________________________

Give immediately online at www.bchfamily.org/givenow

$50 $100 $250 $500 $ ______________ Any size gift!

I want to help! Please double my gift!URGENT!

PLEASE RUSH

MY GIFT!

Name ________________________________________________________ Address ________________________________________________________________________________________

City ___________________________ State ______ Zip __________ Phone __________________________________________ Email _______________________________________________

Credit Card Option: Visa MC Name on card: __________________________________________________________________________________

Card #: ___ ___ ___ ___ - ___ ___ ___ ___ - ___ ___ ___ ___ - ___ ___ ___ ___ Signature: _________________________________________________________________

Must have Credit Card Expiration Date: ____________ Contact me with information on how to prepare a Christian Will.

Three-digit security code (on card back): ___ ___ ___ I have included Baptist Children’s Homes in my estate plans.

Mail to: BCHP.O. Box 338Thomasville, NC27361

Through the Challenge Gift, your investment is matched dollar for dollarup to the $130,000 challenge total. A $100 gift becomes $200. A $500 contribution is doubled becoming $1,000.00. Your gift is multiplied bytwo making twice the difference!

Children, like Bailey, have found hope because of you! Baptist Children’s Homes’boys and girls are counting on you to provide them with the love and care they

desperately need! Please give.

It’s not too late.Give Today and Double Your Gift!There is still time for you to be part of Baptist Children’sHomes’ $130,000 Challenge Gift – but only until January 31!

How God Changed My Life

by Bailey

I have learned so much since I’ve been

at camp.

I made a big decision to accept the Lord

on May 18, 2012. This was very big for

me because I had never honestly

done it before.

No matter if I have someone or am alone,

I know that God will always be there. If

it wEREN’T for Camp Duncan, I would never

have changed. Camp has changed the way

I look at things, and I’m so glad God

is in my life.15-YEAR-OLD BAILEY ACCEPTED CHRIST

AT BCH’S CAMP DUNCAN ON MAY 18, 2012.

[ C H A L L E N G E G I F T A P P E A L }

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1/13 – Charity + Children – 126/1 5

More stories at www.bchfamily.org

[ 2012 YEAR IN REVIEW }

Last year’s highlights are noteworthy historically –Firsts, record numbers, and C&C anniversary!_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

________________________1. Staff LongevityAt Broyhill Home inClyde, three sets of cot-tage parents have passedthe 20-year marker –the Porters, the Blantonsand the Saunders. In 2013, presidentMichael C. Blackwell will celebrate his 30th anniversary.

_________________________________2. Volunteers Give BigDuring 2012, volunteers made ahuge impact through a number ofopportunities including the annualFood Roundup, Friends of Chil-dren workdays, NCBAM’s Rampin’Up!, and renovation projects suchas repairs at McNeill Home beachcottage. Approximately 6,500 volunteers donated their time andresources to make a difference.

Additionally, North Carolina Baptists from around the statethrough NCBAM’s Call Centervolunteered more than 7,500hours helping the frail aging to remain in their homes._________________________________3. Special Events GrowAnnual events continue to bring more people in contact withBaptist Children’s Homes. Morethan 3,000 people attended BCH events that includedFounders Daysat CameronBoys Camp andCamp Duncanfor girls nearAberdeen andthe WesternArea Confer-ence andCookin’ for theKids Barbecue Festival atBroyhill Homein Clyde.

_________________________________4. & 5. Wilderness CampsRemarkable stories of liveschanged at Cameron Boys Campand Camp Duncan touched

people’s hearts. On August 23,Kelsey was baptized andTravis’ storywas featured as part ofBCH’s annualoffering promotion.Through hisBCH experi-ence, Travisovercame a myriad ofchallenges.

________________________6. Hearts for ChristLast year, 65 residentsmade a decision to fol-low Christ. Houseparentsand caregivers faithfullyshare the gospel withresidents.

_________________________________7. 13th Annual OlympicsThe yearly Olympics unites boysand girls from BCH’s statewide locations for a day of friendly competition at Mills Home in

Thomasville. For the first time,adult residents of BCH’s Develop-mental DisabilitiesMinistry joined the games.___________________8. C&C’s 125th AnniversaryCharity & Children’sanniversary wasmarked with a 20-page, commemorativeissue chronicling its125 years. Special contributors includedalumni, past editors, the executive director

of the Baptist State Convention, and the chair of BCH’sBoard of Trustees. Begun in 1887at the Mills Home print shop,today C&C reaches as many as123,000 readers each issue.

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6 1/13 – Charity + Children – 126/1

As 2012 comes to an end, it is natural to look back andrecount the highlights. Despite obvious economic chal-

lenges, Baptist Children’s Homes, through the support ofNorth Carolina Baptists and other friends, ministered withgreat passion experiencing an abundance of firsts and record-ing unprecedented numbers of volunteers. Although not in a particular order, some of the key achievements follow:

1.

2.

3.

4. 5.

8.

7.

6.

News and events at www.bchfamily.org

[ 2012 YEAR IN REVIEW. . .CONTINUED }

2012 filled with opportunities to serve –New year’s events slated________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ _____ _______

____________________________________________________________________

1/13 – Charity + Children – 126/1 7

_________________________________9. First Hope in StyleBCH’s Hope in Style fashion showon August 4 brought together 300attendees for the inaugural event.BCH children modeled back-to-school attire provided by retailchain Belk. Belk served as theevent’s major corporate sponsorand country music star BuddyJewell donated his talents serving as theevents key attraction._______________________10. Senior EventsFostered by BCH’s growing ministry toaging adults, two inaugural events forolder adults took place:2012 Senior AdultPrayer Retreat andSuper Senior Fest . The combined eventshad more than 600 attendees. The Octoberprayer retreat was produced by NCBAM and theBaptist State Convention of NorthCarolina’s Office of Prayer and washeld at Ridgecrest. Super SeniorFest was held in November led by

BCH’s developmentteam and took place at KennedyHome in Kinston. ______________________11. Family Care GrowsBCH started its Family Care program in 2011 with one cottage.Today, the residential program hasexpanded to include eight homesthroughout the state. The cottagesfill quickly as childrenand their moms aremoved from crisis intosafe, comfortable resi-dential cottages. Thefamilies have a place to call home whilemoms regain control of their family’s life byobtaining skills neededto maintain a stablehome, a decent job andsufficient income.

________________________________12. Churches Host ChildrenChurches are learning firsthandabout BCH by inviting residentsand staff members to share

as part of a worship service. Residentsand alumni share their testimonies

through stories and songs. In 2012,members of FirstBaptist ChurchCharlotte witnessedDDM residentSedrick walk after years of being confined to a wheelchair.___________________13. Rampin’ Up! SuccessNearly 3,000 NorthCarolina Baptistsbuilt a record 327

wheelchair ramps in a single day as part of Rampin’ Up! The eventwas produced by NCBAM andNorth Carolina Baptist Men in con-junction with Operation Inasmuch.

April – Food Roundup:www.bchfamily.org/foodroundup

May 4 – Friends of Children Workday:Kennedy Home in KinstonMills Home in ThomasvilleCamp Duncan in AberdeenOak Ranch in SanfordOdum Home in Pembroke

May 7 – Founders Day:Cameron Boys Camp in Cameron

May 11 – Friends of Children Workday:Cameron Boys Camp in Cameron

May 11 – Barbecue Festival:Broyhill Home in Clyde

June 1 – Friends of Children Workday:Mills Home in Thomasville

Sept. 5 – Western Area Conference:Broyhill Home in Clyde

Sept. 7 – Friends of Children Workday:Camp Duncan in Aberdeen

Sept. 14 – Friends of Children Workday:Cameron Boys Camp in CameronKennedy Home in Kinston

Sept. 21 – Friends of Children Workday:Oak Ranch in Sanford

Sept 24 – Founders Day:Camp Duncan in Aberdeen

Sept. 28 – Friends of Children Workday:Mills Home in ThomasvilleOdum Home in Pembroke

Nov. 17-24 – BCH’s Week of Prayer:Your prayers and thoughts mean so much!

For more information on how you oryour church can participate, call AlanWilliams at 1.800.476.3669, ext. 1277.

Upcomingevents

9.

12.

10.

11.

13.

Brian Baltzell’s arrival at Broyhill Home inClyde was a lengthy trek both figurativelyand literally. From working with the devel-

opmentally disabled on the ski slopes of Utah toserving as a program specialist for Eckerd Campin Newport, NC, each step brought Baltzell geographically closer to where he serves today.

Working with children and families as BroyhillHome’s newly-appointed Director of FamilyWork is also a far cry from Baltzell’s career begin-nings as a chemical engineer.

“I wanted to do more than help someone else make money by making plastic,” Baltzell explains. He worked for two years before leavingthe field to pursue a different path – a vocation.“I just knew I wanted to be a part of ministry.”

Baltzell soon discovered a correlation betweenhis skills as a chemical engineer and his calling to serve others.

“I found an easy link between solving prob-lems on paper to helping others problem-solverelationship challenges,” he says. “I found that I had a strong ability in working with people.”

In 1990, Brian married Lynda and six months later accepted a position at Baptist Children’s Homes (BCH). But his journey did not immediately lead him to BCH’s westerncampus. Instead, he began on the opposite sideof the state at Kennedy Home in Kinston as a social worker and fill-in child care worker.

“I enjoyed being involved whether it was withco-workers or clients,” Baltzell says. “When youadded in the ministry aspect, it made everythingcomplete.”

During his time in Kinston, Baltzell obtained a degree in biblical counseling so that he couldwork with hurting families from a perspectivefirmlygrounded in his Chris-tian faith.

“Beingable to forma relation-ship withpeoplewhere theyknow thatyou careopens thedoor to discussing faith with them,” he says.“What you share with others is always going tohave limited value if it does not include Jesus.”

Baltzell moved to Broyhill Home in 1994where he worked directly with children and families as a case manager. When a child came tolive at Broyhill Home, Baltzell worked with the

entire family to help them identify and overcomethe problems they faced.

“We have a terrific program, but it has to be more than that,” Baltzell explains. “It has to meet the family’s need no matter what it may be.”

Baltzell says it can take months working with a family to identify issues. The needs are not always immediately apparent.

“You go on that journey with them until they are able to tell youwhat their needs really are,” Baltzell explains. “I don’t see it as me havingthe answer. I used to have more confi-dence in myself, and now I have moreconfidence in God.”

Baltzell discovered that helping those who turn to BCH for help is just as much about his own learning experience. “God speaks to us in eachsituation. If I’m not learning somethingor hearing from God, then I’ve lost

that aspect that makes us a ministry.”Baltzell is approaching his 23rd year at Baptist

Children’s Homes. In his new position, he real-izes his personal journey is far from complete.

“Going forward, I want to be sure that I’m always supporting our people who serve here,”

Baltzell says. “I want what we do to be meaning-ful to those we serve so that it leads people toChrist. Our desire is for them to see God forthemselves.”

Find Baptist Children’s Homes of North Carolina on Facebook

[ STAFF MEMBER SEEKS TO LEAD FAMILIES TO CHRIST }

From chemical engineering to Christian service –Baltzell’s journey leads to family ministry_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

By J. Blake Ragsdale, C&C Managing Editor

Above, Brian Baltzell joined Baptist Children’s Homes in 1990 at Kennedy Home in Kinston. In 1994 he joined the Broyhill Home staff where he serves today. Baltzell has just begun a new position as the Director of Family Work at the

Clyde campus. Below, Baltzell and former resident Ren unload supplies donated during the Food Roundup.

____________________________________________________________________

8 1/13 – Charity + Children – 126/1

1. Operating funds to meet the children’s needs2. Commercial grade washers and dryers3. Good used vehicles to transport children 4. Twin and queen sheet sets, towels, washcloths,

and pillows5. Gift cards for children’s clothing6. Cleaning supplies and laundry detergent7. Large griddles and cookware for cottages8. Car seats and new cribs 9. Upright vacuum cleaners for cottages

10. Lawn equipment: weed trimmers, rakes, shovels,zero turn mower

For more information, please call 1-800-476-3669 or 336-474-1230

and ask for Brenda Gray.

T O P 1 0 N E E D S

John Terrell, scrub orphan son ofIsaac Terrell, wrote that Chad Barefoot, son of Pam and Sam

Barefoot, was recently elected to theNorth Carolina Senate in WakeCounty. The young politician didwell, and we congratulate him!

Wanda Ross, widow of Bun(Claude) Ross, was thoughtful toshare with us a new address forJackie Byrd Haynes. Jackie recentlymoved into the home of her daugh-ter and friends can contact her at3738 Sunset Cliff, San Antonia, TX,78261. Jackie suffers dementia butloves to walk and loves to receivecards.

Wanda lost her husband Bun Rossfifteen and a half years ago and stillhelps keep us up to date with someof the alumni. Bun and his brotherLee Ray Ross came to MH in 1932and Bun graduated in 1944 withJackie’s class.

Rick Smoot keeps us updated regarding his cancer treatments. Herecently celebrated what he called his4th and last treatment. I admire hispositive attitude. He really loves thequilt he received from the HighPoint Quilters Guild for cancer patients and the prayer shawl madefor him and given by his churchprayer committee.

Rick informed us that Susie Steel-man Parsad has just had knee replacement surgery. She is veryhappy to have her sister Marty outthere to help her as she recuperates.She writes cheerful little notes to thewebsite so I think she is doing well.Friends might wish to send get wellcards to her: 5103 221st SW,Mountlake Terrace, WA 98043, sj-parsad@ verizon.com, 425 775-6826

Pete Knight writes, “Several yearsago, I was honored when J.C. Greenfuneral home called me after Bill Siskpassed away and said that Louise andthe girls had asked if I would be oneof the pallbearers for Bill. Then onNov. 9, 2012 when Amelia Sisk Coxcalled me and asked if I would be a pallbearer for Louise, I was just ashonored. At her request, other pall-bearers were MH alumni Phil Christ-

man, Harry Walls, Jim Rochelle, andJim Hamby.

Jim Hamby sent this note aboutLouise and Bill Sisk: “Bill and Louisespent nearly all their life at MillsHome. They grew up there andwent to school there. Bill was draftedat the end of WWII and served hiscountry for a while, and Louise wentto Gardner-Webb Junior College(now University). She and Bill weremarried in 1949. After completingtheir education and getting married,both Bill and Louise returned to thehome they loved so very much andspent the rest of their lives workingin the service of children. They hadtwo beautiful daughters, Amelia andElaine – now on their own of course.

“Amelia has one daughter and onegranddaughter whom Elaine adores.A poem I wrote about Bill & Louiseasks, ‘Did fame pass them by?’ I think not. They were loved and respected by a host of grateful chil-dren and even their own peers. Alifetime in the service of children isone of the most worthwhile things.Jesus said, ‘Suffer the little childrento come unto me, for of such is thekingdom of Heaven.’

“I am honored to be able to saythat I knew both Bill and LouiseSisk.”

Ken Wallin writes, “I rememberthe years I was at Mills Home thatMrs. Sisk, I think, worked in themain office. On occasion I wouldhave reason to pass through andwould always stop and say hello. Shealways stopped whatever she wasdoing to greet me. I also would sayhello when I saw her at Church onSundays. I knew who she was andjust figured she would say hello –she always did. I later saw her atHomecoming in the earlier yearswhen I attended more often. Shewas always the most gentle and kindperson. I treasured knowing her andwas glad she was one of us.”

Susan Meeks Woods writes, “I willremember Mrs. Sisk as a kind andgentle lady. I did not know her verywell while living at MH, but in theyears following I came to know andlove her. At every Homecoming, she

would look me in the face, call me byname in saying hello and ask how I was doing and how was my sisterAnn? Even in the later years when I think she did not recognize meright away, as soon as she heard myvoice, she recognized me andgreeted me lovingly. I think the storyof her and Bill growing up togetherat MH and later marrying and com-ing back to work at Mills Home is avery special one. She will be missed.God Bless her and her family.”

Linda Helderman McDonald verymuch appreciated knowing ouralumni column had “highlighted”her husband Bob in October. Shealso gave us the address for hermother, Mrs. Mary Lois McDonaldwho was houseparent with her husband Glen at the Farm and at Durham Cottage. She now lives inConcord with her daughter and son-in-law. Friends can contact her at 85Myrtle Ave., Concord, NC 28024.She is 92 years old and would love tohear from those who remember her.She fondly remembers all the boysfrom her cottage and is especiallyproud to be reading about the accomplishments of Pete Knight.

Linda writes, “My family was atMills Home from 1959 to about1969. We first were at Watson Cottage, then at Culler, but mostlyat Fleming. I graduated from highschool in 1962 and “flew the nest,”but my parents remained as cottageparents for some time. After leavingMills Home, they worked at the Maternity Home in Asheville and then at Broyhill Home beforeretiring. My parents were Clarenceand Blanche Helderman.”

Friends can contact Linda at mcdonald.linda.home@gmail.com.

A handwritten note all the wayfrom Washington State had a goodupdate from Paul “Pee Wee” Justice.Paul came to MH in 1935 and left in1941. The younger alumni had theopportunity to meet this fellowwhen he returned for Homecomingin 2001 to give the Homecomingaddress. He was a big hit with his message and his humor and peo-ple talked about that all day long.Unfortunately, I had to miss his

message because of my mother-in-law’s funeral that day.

Paul’ writes, “After leaving MH, I went to live with my sister, LucilleMcElrath, in Canton, NC. Fromthere I was drafted at the age of fifteen into the U.S. Navy because I had gone down and signed up.That was the best lie I ever told. Mytour was in the Pacific on a HigginsBoat, taking Marines into Iwo Jimaand bringing out the wounded. Wekept them supplied with food, waterand ammunition. After the war, I joined the marines and was sent toChina where I was involved in somepolice action. When I returnedhome, I used the G.I. Bill to go toMars Hill College and then on toFurman University from which Igraduated in 1954. Next, I attendedSouthern Seminary in Louisville, KY,where I earned my master’s degreeand won the heart of a pretty littlenurse named Violet. We have beenserving God in the ministry for 56 years. I have been a minister for more than 60 years. My ministrywas a direct result of having Mrs. I.P.Frazier and Mrs. A.E. Barbee ashousemothers at the Green Build-ing – they planted a love for missionsin my heart.

“We have pastored in NC and KY. In 1974, we came to WA wherethere were thousands of unchurchedpeople. We helped start seven newchurches and kept three from fold-ing. Presently, I am teaching adultsin Sunday School, serving as associ-ate pastor at our church, and teach-ing a Bible study in a local nursinghome. Violet is teaching children.

“I praise God for bringing me toMH and saving me as well as direct-ing my growth. Violet and I are mis-sionaries emeritus at Mission ServiceCorp, N.A.M B. I do have a book atthe MH library called ‘Transformedby Grace from Hell to Heaven.’”

I wish you all the happiest ofHappy New Years! –Lib

Lib Johnson was a resident of MillsHome from 1946 to 1957. Johnsonbegan writing the Mills Home alumnicolumn in 1992.

[ MILLS HOME ALUMNI COLUMN }

Alumni continue to remember Louise Sisk –Alum praises God for bringing him to Mills Home_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

By Lib Smathers Johnson, 5612 Bledsoe Drive, Greensboro, NC 27410 (336) 299-7412 libsjohnson@triad.rr.com

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/millshomealumni____________________________________________________________________

1/13 – Charity + Children – 126/1 9

___________________________________________Bike for Change

First Baptist Church in Charlotte reachedtwo milestones regarding its 2012 “Bike forChange” event held on Saturday, October27. First, this year’s bike-a-thon marked the 10th anniversary of the church’s yearlyfundraiser where RAs and GAs pedal their bicycles to help BCH’s boys and girls. Sec-ond, the church raised a record $26,415.71 –surpassing last year’s Bike for Change totalby more than $400. The amount was revealed during the church’s morning wor-ship service on Sunday, December 2 whenbike-a-thon participants presented Mark Harris, senior pastor and current presidentof the Baptist State Convention of NorthCarolina, with an oversized check. The fundsare raised through a special offering taken in support of children’s bicycling efforts. The offering goes to meet the physical needsof BCH’s residents across the state. Bike forChange was created as a means to benefitBCH while teaching children the importanceof helping other children. If you are inter-esting in organizing a Bike for Changeevent, contact coordinator Jay West-moreland at 704-331-2266 and visitwww.bikeforchange.org___________________________________________Broyhill Home

Bill Moore, representing Woodmen of theWorld, presents an American flag to BCH’sLinda Morgan. The group presents the flagannually and produces a yearly Christmasparty for the western area children.

___________________________________________Mills Home

Amy Taylor, a member of Pleasant GardenBaptist Church in Pleasant Garden, deliversclothing for the boys and girls at Mills Homein Thomasville. She and fellow member Lisa Morey coordinate efforts to collect the clothing as an outreach of the church’s Explorers Sunday School class.___________________________________________Weekday Education

Teachers and students from the Robert Idol Child Development Center’s Pre-Kinder-garten classes hosted a first-ever Thanksgiv-ing feast for the students’ families. Childrendressed up as both Pilgrims and NativeAmericans, created table decorations, andbaked pumpkin pies for the meal. The ChildDevelopment Center is a part of BCH’sWeekday Education program in Thomasvilleoffering developmentally appropriateclasses for infants to fifth graders through its two 5-star rated, state-licensed centers.___________________________________________Kennedy HomeThe New Bern Harley-Davidson OwnersGroup (HOG) celebrated the 20th anniversary of its annual motorcycle ride to Kennedy Home in Kinston on Saturday,November 24. Hundreds of bikers, from 35eastern North Carolina counties, rode toBCH’ second oldest campus delivering pres-ents, gift cards and a financial donation forthe residents. Jimmie Allen, founder of theride and owner of Harley-Davidson of NewBern, was recognized for his ongoing efforts.

In partnership with Kennedy Home, theHOG group surprised Allen by having thecampus picnic area named in his honor.___________________________________________Cameron Boys Camp

Residents from Cameron Boys Camp andCamp Duncan, BCH’s residential wildernessprograms located in Moore County, cele-brated Thanksgiving with the annual “Turkeyin the Hole” meal on November 19. Thecampers help prepare the feast by buryingtinfoil-wrapped turkeys in a large hole andbuilding a massive bonfire above it. Theturkeys cook in the ground overnight, andcampers dig them up the following day.___________________________________________Developmental Disabilities Ministry

The special-needs adult residents and care-givers from Stegall Home in Marshville andDavis House in Winston-Salem recently vacationed together at BCH’s Craig Cottagenear Ridgecrest. The weekend retreat to themountains yielded a great time of fellowshipand fun for the two groups of men who donot frequently have opportunities to spendtime with one another. A highlight of thetrip was visiting Grandfather Mountain inLinville where the group enjoyed seeing theanimal exhibits. Learn more about BCH’sDevelopmental Disabilities Ministry atwww.hereismyhome.org.

____________________________________________________________________

10 1/13 – Charity + Children – 126/1 Find Baptist Children’s Homes of NC on Facebook

[ AROUND THE STATE }

Every day at churches and BCH facilities “around the state,” residents, staff members and North Carolina Baptists are mak-

ing news. In Charity & Children and through BCH's social media posts, friendscan connect daily, weekly and monthly to learn about all of BCH's happenings.______________________________________________________________________________________

Stay connected online at www.bchfamily.org and on Facebook, Twitter,YouTube, and Vimeo. Also follow NCBAM (www.ncbam.org) and BCH'sDevelopmental Disabilities Ministry (www.hereismyhome.org).

We need you to lend a helpinghand. Share your time, talents andresources to meet the daily needsof BCH’s boys and girls. You canhelp in these ways:___________________________________

Friends of Children Workdays:From painting to planting, partici-pants help with special facility projects, tour campuses and havelunch with children and staff. Call 336-474-1209.

Food Roundup: This is a great opportunity for churches, businessesand organizations to help provide thefood needs of the boys and girls incare. Call 336-474-1277.

Bed Sponsor Program: Become a bed sponsor and have a plaquewith your name mounted on a child’sbed. Your name reminds a child thatyou are praying. Call 336-474-1277or visit www.bchfamily.org/bed-sponsor.

Mile of Pennies: Help by collecting a “Mile of Pennies.” When it comesto providing care for hundreds ofchildren, it takes everyone workingtogether – one penny added to an-other penny and then another penny.Continue to multiply the pennies andjust imagine how far you can go inmaking a real difference! Call 336-474-1209.

Walk for Change: Perfect for yourchurch or community organization –walkers recruit financial sponsors togive a cash gift for walking a certaindistance. Set your goal, secure yoursponsors, designate a safe route, and have fun! Call 336-474-1209.

Recycle Projects: Collect emptyprinter cartridges (laser, inkjet andfax cartridges). Deliver items to anyBCH facility or use prepaid shippinglabels to send items to recycler. Mil-lions of cartridges are thrown awayeach year. Begin collecting and helpthis year-round program earn moneyfor children. You can recycle cellphones, too. Call 336-474-1209.

Bike for Change: Bike for Change is a fun and dynamic way for childrento help "change" the lives of children.By pedaling bicycles, children raisesupport and awareness for BCH’sboys and girls. It is a great serviceproject for schools, churches, andother children’s groups. It alsoteaches children the importance ofparticipating in missions outreach.To learn more, visit www.bikeforchange.org. Download a planningguide and other resources. ContactBike for Change coordinator JayWestmoreland at bikeforchange@bchfamily.org for more ideas.

Helping Hand

Alumnus Jeff Garvey called tosay he is interested in recon-

necting with any KH alumnus whoremembers him. Friends can contacthim at his new address: 30700 Wek-iza River Road, Lot# 551, Sorrento,FL 32776.; phone: 321-696-1136.

Donna Duty received word fromHelen Hardison’s daughter thatHelen passed away. Donna wasgrateful that she had been able tovisit with Mrs. Hardison on Helen’s100th birthday just a few weeks ago.Sympathy cards may be sent to AnnLetchworth, 3212 Pine Court, Far-mville, NC 27828 or to Les Hardi-son 3512 Whetstone Place, Wilson,NC 27896. Helen was buried atSnow Hill, NC on Nov. 15. She hadbeen very active in the Free UnionFree Will Baptist Church until herhealth limited her abilities. She hadbeen a widow since 1958. Followingthe death of her husband she workedat Kennedy Home as a dietician, re-tiring once only to return and worksome more before her final retire-ment. She loved the work and thechildren loved her. She had seven-teen grandchildren and two greatgrandchildren.

A note from Rose Richmond says,“I am not sure how easily dealingwith going to KH would have beenhad it not been for Ms. Hardison. Iused to count the days knowing shewould be coming for the weekend ora week or whatever to substitute forhouseparents in our cottage. She wasso cool and so much fun. I have notbeen able to visit with her since leav-ing KH, but I have never forgottenthe influence she had on me. Andthough I was not able to be there forher service, this poem is my tributeto her and her family. God Bless her!She was a wonderful example in lifeto many.

Editor’s note: In the followingpoem, one slash indicates the end of a line and two slashes indicate theend of a verse.

The Lives that Touch – The chil-dren’s home seemed far away fromfamiliar places. / The people thereonly filled in overwhelming, emptyspaces. / Each one there because of

family lives turned upside down. /Each one carrying heavy burdenswith sad, sad frowns. // The grownups around us were disciplined andtough / Teaching us and watchingover us, was sometimes thought tobe enough. / Helen “Twiggy” Hardi-son was mostly a substitute staffer. /But, her short stays with us were al-ways filled with fun times, lots ofhugs and laughter. / We never knewthe struggles she herself had seenuntil we were grown. / We onlyknew that she loved each one of us,as if we were her own. // She neverstopped caring or hugging us tight./ She lived her whole life, hopingshe taught us how to live right. /Her life was so dedicated, so honestand true. / God gave her 100 yearsto continue to touch those she knew./ She will be truly missed by every-one she may know. / Those wholoved her, will keep her sweet mem-ories, forever, wherever we may go./ We know she will always be ourguardian angel watching over eachone. / Her work here on Earth isover, but her work in heaven has justbegun.//

Harry Walls, MH alumnus, has avery strong interest in BCH andMills Home and Kennedy Home inparticular. He likes to sift throughold copies of C&C for pictures hecan then post on Facebook foralumni of both homes to enjoy. Re-cently he posted a picture of severalKH basketball players who played forLaGrange High School around1961. Those girls in the photo arePat Pridgen, Betty Naylor, FrancesTilghman, and Bonnie Bass. JudieBass Parker commented about thephoto that Bonnie Bass, her sister,now lives in Maryland and is in goodhealth and doing fine. That is alwaysgood to hear. She also mentionedthat Pat Pridgen died many yearsago, but her sister Faye is still living.Ed Pridgen, Pat and Faye’s brother, ismarried to my MH classmate MarthaPridgen. The two of them manage togo to both Homecomings everyyear. Ed and Martha now live at1134 Fisherman’s Cove Rd., PineHall, NC 27042, ph. 336-978-8095, jpridgen@triad.rr.com.

Last month’s column mentioned

Jim Dyer and his 19 years of work asSanta. He sent a photo to Facebookto remind his KH friends to come ondown to the Triangle Town CenterMall with their kids and grandkids tovisit him. Folks will recognize SantaJim in a non-traditional Santa suitthat features a most attractive plaidvest. Otherwise, Jim is more authen-tic than most Santas because of his“homegrown” beard and mustache.I also noticed the cross hangingaround his neck and the Jesus badgeon the right side of his vest.

Harry also sent a photo of thecrowd assembled to witness the Bik-ers’ Toy run for Kids, the delivery ofgifts to the MH children on Dec. 2.He pointed out that the Santa forthat event was a KH alumnus, Wal-ter Graham Jackson – current presi-dent of KH Alumni Association.

Another two photos Harry sentfrom around 1967 showed the “old”way of doing laundry at KH. Thefirst photo showed Penny Branch andJoan Parish at a huge mangle in theKH laundry. One of the girls com-mented on how intimidating andmonstrous the mangle was, and wecan assume she was grateful for thechange that came during her days atKH. The second photo showedPenny and Barbara Branch at asmaller dryer in one of the cottages,certainly a big contrast in the way ofdoing things.

Another photo from KH showedseveral girls displaying their newlywon plaque for their victory in anActeens relay of some sort. (For thebenefit of some of the older alumni,the Acteens organization derivedfrom Baptist Girls’ Auxillary of a daygone by – GA’s) Some of the girlsshown were Donna Woodruff, EllenSmith, Susie Hughes, DorothyWoodruff, Rita Ali-Cross, and NancyHobbs. Harry presents these photosand is pleased to see that formeralumni get a kick out of identifyingthose pictured. Ladies who com-mented on the photo were SusieHughes and Teresa Carmine Hub-bard.

Reminder: This paragraph is a re-peat from the November issue ofC&C. The next KH alumni lunch for

ALL alumni, former staff members& families will be hosted by alum-nus, Shelley (Jackson) Lang at 4720Shelley Drive, LaGrange, NC 28551on Saturday, January 26, 2013.Lunch will be served between 12:00and 12:30 p.m. Shelley will providesteamed oysters and a clambake. Forthose who do not like seafood, shewill also provide Bojangles chicken.Tea and coffee will also be provided.You may also bring any other fooditems you and your family would likeif you do not care for seafood orchicken. Side dishes and desserts arerequested from those attending.“Because of limited space, Shelleyneeds to limit the number attendingto 40 and she needs you to RSVP byJanuary 10th.” You may RSVP toher at 252-361-1960 to let her knowhow many will be in your party. Youmay also RSVP to me at 919-244-0920; or my email: donnaduty483@yahoo.com. When you RSVP, pleaseremember to indicate whether youwould like the oysters-clambake,chicken, or if you will bring otherfood items for you and your family.Mark your calendars for January26th. Please help spread the wordabout this to other alumni who donot have email or do not receive theCharity & Children.

Enjoy a few of the words of a songsung at Christmas time by bothKennedy and Mills Home kids in the1950’s.

One Little Candle – It is better tolight just one little candle / Than tostumble in the dark. / Better far thatyou light just one little candle, / Allyou need’s a tiny spark. // If we'dall say a prayer that the world wouldbe free, / A wonderful dawn of anew day we'd see. / And if everyonelit just one little candle, What abright world this would be.

Special thanks to Harry Wallswhose photos posted on Facebookgive me “ideas” when writing theKH column.

Happy New Years! – Lib

The search for a new columnistcontinues. If you are interested, con-tact the Editor by calling 1-800-476-3669, ext. 1217.

[ KENNEDY HOME ALUMNI COLUMN }

RSVP for January 26 alumni lunch –Harry Walls makes big contribution to column_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

By Guest Columnist Lib Smathers Johnson

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/kennedyhomealumni____________________________________________________________________

1/13 – Charity + Children – 126/1 11

1.Western Area Family Services 828.627.9254 Linda Morgan, Regional Dir. Broyhill HomeDrake Cottage Moody HomeTruett Baptist Assoc. Home

2.Central Area Family Services 336.474.1200 Mills Home Care House Oak Ranch

3.Eastern Area Family Services 252.522.0811 Sandy Perry, Regional Dir. Kennedy HomeOdum Home Britton Ministries

4.Cameron Boys Camp 910.245.4034 Stephen Ashton, Director

5.Camp Duncan 910.944.3077 Paul Daley, Director

Weekday Education Thomasville, 336.474.1201 Linda Russo, Director

Developmental Disabilities Ministry 336.474.1261Martha Surratt, Director

North Carolina Baptist Aging Ministry336-474-1221Dr. Sandy Gregory, Directorwww.ncbam.org

Calling All State Employees!Choose BCH as your charity in theState Employees Combined Campaign.SECC code is 3641. Encourage othersto as well and better the lives of chil-dren and families in North Carolina.# 3 6 4 1

We participate in these areas:C F C # 3 3 2 4 1

Baptist Children’sHomes provides only

the highest quality of carethrough a highly trained,skilled, Christian staff whosepersonal and professionalmission is “sharing hope. . .changing lives.”

Can BCH be of service?Call 1-800-476-3669.

Can we be of service to you or someone you know?Research Triangle Area CFCCape Fear Area CFCCamp Lejeune/OnslowCounty/New River CFCSoutheastern North Carolina (includes Fort Bragg)

Greater North Carolina CFCCherry Point CFCRowan/Iredell County CFCCFC Central CarolinasCFC of Western NC

South Hampton Roads CFC(Camden, Chowan, Currituck,Dare, Gates, Hertford,Pasquotank, and PerquimansCounties and Albemarle andElizabeth City)

____________________________________________________________________

12 1/13 – Charity + Children – 126/1 More Homeword at www.bchfamily.org/about/homeword

An impromptu meeting in the hallway ends with me harshly laying the law and

issuing edicts. My youngest daughter Mary escapes, turning through the doorway of herroom. I spin on my heels and begin to walk away. I barely take three strides when I stop.

“What did she tell me?” My shoulders drop when I realize my failure.

I had jumped to a conclusion, didn’t fully listen,and became heated over something that wasmore real in my mind than in the real world.

Mary is surely confused and probably a bitticked off at me. I meekly knock before enteringher room.

Some say there is an art to a proper apology. I believe a proper apology must first come from a heart that is sorry – a heart that is seeking reconciliation and forgiveness.

So at those times, how do we say we are sorry?The proper apology flows from one who takes

responsibility for his actions. If you know youhave hurt someone, own up to your mistake.

Don’t wait! Waiting to apologize is a kiss ofdeath to any good intention. When you becomeaware of a wrongdoing, say you’re sorry immediately. Don’t belabor it either. A quick heartfeltapology is most effective.

When you apologize, be sure to do it face-to-face. If that is impossible, then doit by phone. Never attempt such a personal thing through email or social media.

When you apologize, it is important to acknowledge the hurt and possible pain you have caused. It is the person’s hurt feelings that should be your main motivation to apologize in the first place.

You have caused someone to feel bad. Own up to it and never begin your apology with an

excuse – itkind of takesaway from it being from the heart.

Knowing true forgiveness throughChrist gives believers an insight into the importance of saying we’re sorry. We know that Jesus is receptive and open to us when we desire reconciliation. The renewed fellowship with Him helps us understand thevalue of seeking forgiveness.

When owning up to your wrongdoing, goahead and ask for forgivenesss. Let the personyou have hurt know that you hope to never hurther in that way again.

If your apology is accepted and forgivenessgiven, say thank you and move on. Scriptureteaches that when forgiveness is given the faultshould be forgotten – as far as the east is fromthe west.

Finally, forgive yourself. Saying you’re sorry does not only improve the relation-ship, but it will reduce personal stress andhelp alleviate guilt. If, with a pure heart,you have sought to reconcile with the oneyou have hurt and your apology is refused,

let go. Sadly, there may be little more youcan do to bring about healing; avoid the guiltthat could harm you by forgiving yourself.

A true exchange of sincere feelings shouldnever foster an expectation of compensation.However if you love someone and you haveshared that you are sorry for any hurt you havecaused, it can be very appropriate to show yourlove through a gift or an action. Flowers, an offerto have lunch or dinner together, chocolates, or

a warm embrace draws attention to the value you place on the relationship.

I need to apologize to Mary. She is sitting on her bed when I walk into the room.

Clearing my throat, I quickly say, “Mary, I overreacted and I’m sorry.”

“That’s okay, Dad,” Mary says graciously.“Thank you,” I respond relieved. “I was

wrong and I’m sorry for hurting your feelings.You are very important to me.”

We make eye contact and smile warmly. Before leaving her room, I schedule a lunch date with Mary for the next day.

It’s been said that when you love someone you never have to say you’re sorry. But don’t riskit. Misunderstandings are the biggest cause offractured relationships. A parent must model forhis child how to renew fellowship when things

have gone awry. So, apologize.

Edminson is editor of Charity & Children and writes“Homeword” to inspire and encourage families in themidst of full lives and hectic schedules. He is availablefor preaching and speaking opportunites. Email him atwjedminson@bchfamily.org for availibility.

[ H O M E W O R D }

Love means saying you’re sometimes a hothead who doesn’t listen____________________________________________________________________________

By W. James Edminson, Editor

______________________

L O V E LOVEin action fillsevery page.