An Integrated English Course

Book 2

Unit Five

Learning Objectives

By the end of this unit, you are supposed to

understand the main idea, structure of the text and the author’s writing style

master the key language points and grammatical structures in the text

use the new words and expressions in conversations and writings

Teaching Procedure

Pre-reading QuestionsText I. Friends for Life● Passage● Structure analysis● Main idea of the passage● Language points ● sentence studies ● vocabulary studiesText II. Do This and You Will Be Welcome

Anywhere

Pre-reading

1. How do you define “friends”? A friend is a person who shares

happiness with you, who is ready to offer help whenever you are in trouble, who first thinks of when he or she is frustrated, who never fails to be with you if you need her or him, and who is ready to give you advice when you need it.

2. What do you expect of friendship? And what are you ready to do for your friends?

Friendship is something we cannot do without. Friendship gives us comfort when we are lonely, encouragement when we are in difficulty, and help when we need it. I’m ready to do all these things for my friends.

3. What is needed to make friendship grow, blossom and last?

Friendship, lie flowers need to be nurtured by mutual understanding and help. It is a two-way operation in which the good will of one party should be appreciated and the returned by the other. Besides, mutual trust is also extremely important; without it friendship will soon wither away.

Text I. Friends for Life

Even though “friend” is a term of endearment used to describe many people in our lives, we often have a hard time knowing what the term means. Psychologists identify friends as those who accept each other, confide in each other and feel responsible for each other.

In our transient cultures, we depend more on friends for things we once got from families—emotional support and often even financial help. With so many people living away from their families, and so many people single into their thirties, friends provide essential companionship.

Friendship can occur any place—even (surprise!) in a marriage. This was the case with me. I met and fell in love with Milton Brothers at university. He became my husband soon after, and we were together 39 years—until he died at the age of 62.

He was my best friend, and I still miss him desperately. Since he died, my sister, with whom I fought fiercely when we were younger, has become one of my best friends. And I’m also very close to my only daughter, Lisa.

Friendship ranks with marriage and kinship as one of the most important relationships in our lives, yet it can be the most neglected. Friendship outside familial ties or marriage plays such an important role in life because with a friend, we can be the person we want to be. Their acceptance affirms that self and lets us develop as individuals.

We make no vows to a best friend, yet we have unstated expectation: understanding, caring, concern. We expect a friendship to last.

Most of us have been making friends since childhood, so we tend to think the process in instinctual, then we find that the heart of friendship—how to make the relationship blossom, grow and survive—requires more attention and skill than we thought. To Ralph Waldo Emerson, “the only way to a friend is to be one.”

Becoming friends involves process of sharing, a gradual relaxation of vigilance over what partners reveal to each other about themselves. Friends must learn to balance the inclination to be open with the need to be protective of each other’s feelings. A best-friendship gets out of balance when the intensity becomes too one-sided. Total disclosure isn’t what makes intimacy in a relationship; it’s the listening and sharing.

Increasing numbers of people are finding that gender doesn’t matter when it comes to friendship, as the sexes mingle more often today.

Making friends with someone of the opposite sex can be an eye-opening experience. Michael told me what he discovered: "I was working the assembly line with Marcia, just as I would with a guy. And she kept pointing out how patronizing I was, offering to do the work for her because I felt she was less capable.

Then Michael realized he was hearing the same complaint from his girlfriend. So he invited Marcia out for a beer and they talked. “I learned about today’s women from her. What I knew about women I’d learned from my father. I was a generation behind the times. Now I’m married to the girlfriend I had when I met Marcia, and I’m indebted to her for that. She and I are still good friends. Marcia and my wife are friends, too.

Can you fix a broken friendship? If you feel a close friend has hurt you, it’s worthwhile to sit down and say, “If I didn’t care about you, I’d just shrug my shoulders and go my own way. But since I do care, I’d like to straighten this out.” then calmly talk about what has happened. You might find it’s just a misunderstanding.

I can’t say I healed a broken friendship with my sister—our sibling rivalry was nothing unusual. But since Milton died, she and I found each other again, and it means a lot to me. The longer I live, the more important it is to feel connected. And that is what we do though friends.

Near the end of his battle with cancer, Milton sent me to see our new granddaughter. I held her and kissed her for both of us. When I told Milton I’d done this, he said, “I’ll always be with you, because part of me is in her, in each of grandchildren.” he died a day or so latter.

I have four grandchildren now, and what Milton said it true. I take them, one by one, on adventures all over the world, and each time I find new friendships. And Milton, my best friend, is always with me.

Structural analysis

The text can be divided into six parts.

Part One: (Paragraphs 1-2) The two paragraphs serve as an

introduction in which the author raises a common problem—”we often have a hard time knowing what the term (friend) means.”

Part Two: (Paragraphs 3-4)

The author uses her own experiences to tell the reader that friendship can occur in marriage and families, which might be a surprise to many people.

Part Three: (Para. 5-8):

In paragraphs 5-6, the author discusses the importance of friendship outside familial ties.In paragraphs 7-8, the author goes on to offer suggestions on friend-making.

Part four: (Para. 9-11): These paragraphs are about

friendship between opposite sexes. The author makes it clear that friendship with someone of the opposite sex can enrich one’s experience.

Part Five: (Para. 12-13): In these two paragraphs the author shift

s to another subtopic—how to fix a broken friendship.

Part Six: (Para. 14-15): In the last part of the text the author

turns back to the subtopic: friend-making. Here the author directs her discussion to her friendship with her grandchildren. The discussion echoes the statement in the third paragraph:” Friendship can occur any place…”

Main Idea of the passage

As a piece of expository writing, the text supplies the psychological definition and the author’s understanding of friendship. The author also discusses friendship within family ties and outside kinship ties, then offers suggestions for friend-making.

Language points

… so many people single into their thirties.… so many people remain single in their thirties. … with a friend, we can be the person we want to be. Friends give us support, which proves the worth of what we are

doing.Their acceptance affirms that self ...The fact that our friends accept what we are makes us feel

assured.… a gradual relaxation of vigilance over what partners reveal to each other about themselves.… partners gradually become less guarded when revealing

what they really are to each other.

A best-friendship gets out of balance when the intensity becomes too one-sided. ... our sibling rivalry was nothing unusual.… we sisters rivaled with each other just as many

others did. … she and I found each other again, … …we found that we needed each other and

renewed our friendship… A best friendship suffers if there is too much disclosure or too much protection of each other’s feelings.

endearment n. 1) the act of endearing2) an expression of affection, such as a caressThe kind granny enjoys the endearment from everybody.The endearment from his parents is always encouraging him.

transient adj.1) passing with time; transitory This factory never hires transient laborers.2) remaining in a place brieflyLife is transient.

essential adj. completely necessary for the existence of somethingBefore you set off down the ski-slope it is essential to ensure that yo

ur skis are securely fastened.It is essential that the oil level is checked every 10,000km., otherwise

the engine may seize up.desperately adv. desperate adj.1) feeling that you have no hope and are ready to do anything to chang

e the bad situation you are inThe doctors made one last desperate attempt/effort to save the boy’s lif

e.Desperate measures are needed to deal with the growing drug problem.They made a desperate plea for help.2) willing to be violent, and therefore dangerousthe desperate look of hungera desperate criminal

Rank : to have a position higher or lower than others, or to be considered to have such a position

A captain ranks (= has a position) above a lieutenant.My entry was ranked third in the flower show.She ranked the bottles in order of size along the shelf.rank as/among: to regard as having a certain relative positionYao Ming ranks among the world’s best basketballers.This result ranks as one of the their most successful election performances of t

he last ten years.Comparison: rank; classify rank: to give a particular order or position toclassify: to arrange or organize according to class or categorykinship: n.the relationship between members of the same family, or a feeling of being close or similar to other people or things Different ethnic groups have different systems of kinship. He felt a real sense of kinship with his fellow soldiers

neglect v. 1) to give not enough care or attention to people or things that you are

responsible forHe neglects that poor dog — he never takes him for walks or gives him

any attention.2) not to do something, often because you forget about itI’d neglected to give him the name of the hotel where I’d been staying.He neglected to mention the fact that we could lose money on the deal.Comparison: neglect; overlook; slightneglect: to fail to do or carry out, as through carelessness or oversightoverlook: to fail to notice or consider; to missslight: to treat as of small importance; to make light of

affirm v.1) to state something as trueThe suspect affirmed that he had been at home all evening. She affirmed her intention to apply for the post.2) to publicly state one’s support for an opinion or ideaThe government has affirmed its commitment to equal rights.Derivation: affirmation n. affirmative adj. affirmatively adv. individualA single person considered separately from the class or groupThe decision to have an abortion should be up to the individual involvedIt’s the responsibility of each individual within the class to make sure they

have the correct books.vow n.&v. a serious promise or decisionShe took a vow never to lend money to

anyone again.Synonyms: promise; covenant; engage; pledge; plight; swear

Caring: loving and sympatheticIt’s possible for men to be tough and, at the same time, caring

and sensitive.Tend: 1) to be likely to behave in a particular way or have a particular

characteristicWe tend to get cold winters and warm, dry summers in this part of the

country.2) to care for something or someoneThe nurse gently tended the patient’s cuts and bruises.Derivation: tendency n. tendentious adj.Divorced people have a tendency to live with new partners

rather than marry again. tend to: to be likely toMy father tends to interfere too much in other people’s

business.The bank tends to employ only white middle-class men.

instinctual=instinctivebased on instinct rather than on knowledgeWhite jazz seemed old and intellectual, whereas black

jazz was vital, swinging and instinctive.Hearing what I told him, his instinctive reaction is to run awayBlossom v.1) to come into flower; to bloomThe cherry tree is beginning to blossom.2) to develop; to flourishShe has really blossomed recently.Jane is blossoming out into a beautiful girl. Derivation: blossom n. blossomy adj. bloom v.

Vigilance: alert watchfulnessLooking after young children requires constant vigilance

—you never know what they’ll get up to next.Constant vigilance is necessary in order to avoid accidents. inclination n. a preference or tendency, or a feeling that makes

a person want to do something My own inclination would be to look for another job.

We should be basing our decisions on solid facts, not inclinations and hunches. Derivation: incline v. inclined a.protective: tending to protectsome people say it’s nice to have a protective

boyfriend, but I feel s if I’m suffocated

disclosure n. 1) the act or process of revealing or uncoveringAny public disclosure of this information would be very damaging to the com

pany.2) something uncovered; a revelationThe newspaper made damaging disclosures of management incompetence.Derivation: disclose v. disclosable adj. discloser n. Collocation: make a disclosure of; full disclosure Intimacy n. 1) a close friendship or sexual relationship with someoneIntimacy between teachers and students is not recommended.2) things which are said or done only by people who have a close relationshi

p with each otherIt was obvious from their witty intimacies that they had been good friends for

many years.

Mingle v. 1) to mix or combine, or be mixed or combinedThe excitement of starting a new job is always mingled with a

certain apprehension.The two flavors mingle well. 2) to move around and talk to other people at a social eventYou’ve been talking to Roger all evening — you really ought to

be mingling with the other guests.patronizingbehaving toward other people as if superior or more

important, i.e. like a patronDon’t be so patronizing—I’m not a child any more. I

know just as much about it as you do.

Point out: 1) to make a person notice someone or something, usually by telling

them where they are or by holding up one of your fingers towards them

If you see her, please point her out to me.The tour guide pointed out the inscription that runs round the inside of

the dome.2) to tell someone about some information, often because you believe

they are not aware of it or have forgotten itHe was planning to book a rock-climbing holiday, till I pointed out that

Denis is afraid of heights.I feel I should point out how dangerous it is.Collocation:point to/at/towards: to make it seem likely that a particular fact is true or

that a particular event will happenAll the evidence points to suicide

complaint1) a statement of annoyance, dissatisfaction, etc.The principal received a number of complaints from parents that their

children were being bullied.2) an illnessa heart/stomach complaintDo you consider his complaint dangerous? be indebted to: to be grateful because of the help givenWe’re deeply indebted to you for your help.I’m indebted to all the staff who have been working so hard.worthwhile adj. sufficiently valuable or important to be worth one’s time, eff

ort, or interestThe time and expense involved in keeping up to date with all the changes

has been worthwhile.If you need him on this project, you’ve got to make it financially worthwhile

for him.

straighten outto settle (something) by removing the confusion or difficultie

s in it E.g. Mr. Rogers promised he would straighten everything out,

so I signed the paper. They seem to have the completely wrong idea of what I w

ant. Can you straighten it out?straighten up: to behave well after behaving badly You’d better straighten up or else!Sibling: a brother or sisterI have four siblings: three brothers and a sister.There was great sibling rivalry between Peter and his brother.Derivation: sibling adj. siblingship n. Rivalry: CompetitionThere’s fierce rivalry for the job/to get the job.Derivation: rival n. rivalize v. rivalless adj. rivalship n.

battle1) a fightHer only brother was killed in battle.2) an argument between two groups or against a situation that a group

wants to changeThe aid agency continues the battle against ignorance and superstition.The battle for women’s rights still goes on.Collocation: battle array; battle cruiser; battle cry; battle disposition Adventure: an unusual, exciting and possibly dangerous activity such a

s a journey or experience, or the excitement produced by such an activity

She had some exciting adventures in Egypt.We got lost on the Metro — it was quite an adventure.Derivation: adventurous adj. adventurously adv. adventurer n. adv

enturistic adj.

Word comparison

Group 1: A. rivalry B. agreement C. competition D. promise E. debate

A. Rivalry means the act of competing or emulating.B. Agreement means a decision or arrangement, often formal and in

written form, between two or more groups or people.C. Competition means when someone is trying to win something or

be more successful than someone else.D. Promise means someone will certainly do something.E. Debate means (a) serious discussion of a subject in which many

people take part.

Group 2: A. heal B. clean C. cure D. fill E. improve

A. Heal means to make or become well again, especially after a cut or other injury.

B. Clean means to remove dirt from something.C. Cure means to make someone with an illness

healthy again.D. Fill means to make or become full; to use empty

space.E. Improve means to (cause something to) get

better.

Group 3: A. caring B. concerning C. sensitive D. generous E. loving

A. Caring means feeling and exhibiting concern and empathy for others.

B. Caring means feeling and exhibiting concern and empathy for others.

C. Sensitive means understanding what other people need, and being helpful and kind to them.

D. Sensitive means understanding what other people need, and being helpful and kind to them.

E. Loving means feeling love; affectionate.

Group 4: A. affirm B. confirm C. deny D. admit E. declare

A. Affirm means to state something as true.B. Confirm means to make an arrangement or

meeting certain, often by telephone or writing.C. Deny means to say that something is not true.D. Admit means to agree that something is true,

especially unwillingly.E. Declare means to announce something clearly,

firmly, publicly or officially.

Group 5: A. complaint B. report C. suggestions D. doubt E. statement of dissatisfaction

A. Complaint means when someone says that something is wrong or not satisfactory.

B. Report means a description of an event or situation.C. Suggestion means something suggested.D. Doubt means (a feeling of) uncertainty about something, esp

ecially about how good or true it is.E. Statement of dissatisfaction means something that someone

says or writes officially to express the discontent with somebody or something.

Translation 1. Shanghai ranks as one of the most prosperous cities in the world.2. If you are walking in the mountains, strong boots and waterproof

clothing are essential.3. Some teachers devote too much time to helping their students

study but neglect their sports activities4. Some personal characters play a vital role in the development of

one’s intelligence5. The President’s refusal to meet the press reveals just how serious

the crisis is.6. It’s perfectly natural that parents feel protective towards their

children, even when they have grown up.7. He wanted desperately to confide in someone about his

frustration.8. As some experts point out, suicide rates are much higher in some

occupations than in others.

Text II. Do This and You Will Be Welcome Anywhere Dale Carnegie

Why read this book to find out how to win friends? Why not study the technique of the greatest winner of friends the world has ever known? Who is he? You may meet him tomorrow coming down the street. When you get within ten feet of him, he will begin to wag his tail. If you stop and pat him, he will almost jump out of his skin to show you how much he likes you. And you know that behind this show of affection on his part, there are no ulterior motives: he doesn’t want to sell you any real estate, and he doesn't want to marry you.

Did you ever stop to think that a dog is the only animal that doesn’t have to work for a living? A hen has to lay eggs; a cow has to give milk; and a canary has to song. But a dog makes his living by giving you nothing but love.

When I was five years old, my father bought a little yellow-haired pup for fifty cent. He was the light and joy of my childhood, every afternoon about four-thirty, he would sit in the front yard with his beautiful eyes staring steadfastly at the path, and as soon as he heard my voice or saw me swinging my dinner pail through the buck brush, he was off like a shot, racing breathlessly up the hill to greet me with leaps of joy and barks of sheer ecstasy.

Tippy was my constant companion for vive years. Then one tragic night—I shall never forget it—he was killed within ten feet of my head, killed by lightning. Tippy’s death was the tragedy of boyhood.

You never read a book on psychology, Tippy. You didn’t need to. You knew by some divine instinct that one can make more friends in two months by becoming genuinely interested in other people than one can in two years by trying to get other people interested in him. Let me repeat that. You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people that you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.

Yet I know and you know people who blunder through life trying to wigwag other people into becoming interested in them.

Of course, it doesn’t work. People are not interested in you. They are not interested in me. They are interested in themselves—morning, noon, and after dinner.

The New York Telephone Company made a detailed study of telephone conversations to find out which word is the most frequently used. You have guessed it: it is the personal pronoun." I”. “I”. “I”. It was used 3,990 times in 500 telephone conversations. ." I”. “I”. “I”. ." I”. “I”.

When you see a group photograph that you are in, whose picture do you look for first?

If you think people are interested in you, answer this question: If you died tonight, how many people would come to you funeral?

If we merely try to impress people and get people interested in us, we will never have many true, sincere friends. Friend, real friends, are not made that way.

Napoleon tried it, and in his last meeting with Josephine he said:" Josephine, I have been as fortunate as any man ever was on this earth; and yet, at this hour, you are the only person in the world on whom I can rely.” and historians doubt whether he could rely ever on her.

The late Alfred Adler, the famous Viennese psychologist, wrote a book entitled What Life Should Mean to You. In that book he says: “ it is the individual who is not interested in his fellowmen who has the greatest difficulties in life and provides the greatest injury to others. It is from among such individuals that all human failures spring.”

Main Idea of Text 2

With an example of his pet dog, Tippy in his childhood, the writer tries to make it clear that if we want to have more friends, and if we want to be liked by others, we should love and be interested in others first, and we shouldn’t be too self-centered.

Topic for discussion:

What does the writer want to tell us with the example of Tippy?

The writer wants to tell us that you can make more friends by becoming genuinely interested in other people than getting people interested in you.

Words and Expressions for Text Vendearment n. an expression or sign of loveterm n. a word with a meaning in a particular fieldtransient a. lasting for only short period of timedesperately ad. very or very muchrank v. to give or be given a particular positionkinship n. relationship between relativesneglect v. to give or be given a particular positionfamilial a. (typical) of a familyaffirm v. to state positively that something is truevow n. a solemn promise

Back to the text

tend to, to be likely to instinctual a. based on instinct rather than on knowledgeblossom v. to develop successfullyvigilance n. alert watchfulnessinclination n. a special liking for somethingdisclosure n. the act of telling someone something that

is secretintimacy n. the state of being very close to each othermingle v. to mixcomplaint n. a statement of annoyance, dissatisfaction,

etc.Back to the text

be indebted to , to be very grateful to worthwhile a. worthy of one’s time and effortstraighten out, to settle (something) by removing the

confusion or difficulties in itsibling rivalry, competition between brothers and sisters

Back to the text

transient culturesCultures in which things, ideas, etc. change

quickly.…single into their thirtiesremain single in their thirties…our sibling rivalry was nothing unusualWe sisters rivaled with each other just as

many others did.

Back to the text

Ralph Waldo EmersonAmerican philosopher, essayist and poet. His phil

osophy is known as transcendentalism,. The values he particularly stressed were intellectual freedom, integrity, self-reliance and realism,. The best known of his essays, published in two series are “Self-reliance”, “Compensation” and “The Over-Soul”. Other volumes are English Traits and The Conduct of Life.

Back to the text

Notes for Text IIDale Carnegie ： Dale Carnegie was a pioneer in public speaking a

nd personality development. He became famous by showing others how to become successful. His books became popular because of his illustrative stories and simple, well-phrased rules. His most popular books are How to Win Friends and Influence People, Public Speaking and Influence Men in Business, etc.

Napoleon: Napoleon(1769-1821) was emperor of France from 1804-1818.

Josephine: Josephine(1763-1814) was empress of France from 1804-1809. as widow of the Vicomte de Beauharnais, she married Napoleon I but the marriage was annulled.

Back to the text