An Integrated English Course An Integrated English Course Book 2Book 2

Unit Five

Friends for Life

Learning ObjectivesLearning Objectives

By the end of this unit, you are supposed to

understand the main idea, structure of the text and the author’s writing style

master the key language points and grammatical structures in the text

use the new words and expressions in conversations and writings

Teaching ProcedureTeaching Procedure

Pre-reading QuestionsText I. Friends for Life● Passage● Structure analysis● Main idea of the passage● Language points ● sentence studies ● vocabulary studiesText II. Do This and You Will Be Welcome Anywhere

Pre-readingPre-reading

1. How do you define “friends”? A friend is a person who shares

happiness with you, who is ready to offer help whenever you are in trouble, who first thinks of when he or she is frustrated, who never fails to be with you if you need her or him, and who is ready to give you advice when you need it.

2. What do you expect of friendship? And what are you ready to do for your friends?

Friendship is something we cannot do without. Friendship gives us comfort when we are lonely, encouragement when we are in difficulty, and help when we need it. I’m ready to do all these things for my friends.

3. What is needed to make friendship grow, blossom and last?

Friendship, lie flowers need to be nurtured by mutual understanding and help. It is a two-way operation in which the good will of one party should be appreciated and the returned by the other. Besides, mutual trust is also extremely important; without it friendship will soon wither away.

Text I. Friends for LifeText I. Friends for Life

Even though “friend” is a term of endearment used to describe many people in our lives, we often have a hard time knowing what the term means. Psychologists identify friends as those who accept each other, confide in each other and feel responsible for each other.

In our transient cultures, we depend more on friends for things we once got from families—emotional support and often even financial help. With so many people living away from their families, and so many people single into their thirties, friends provide essential companionship.

Friendship can occur any place—even (surprise!) in a marriage. This was the case with me. I met and fell in love with Milton Brothers at university. He became my husband soon after, and we were together 39 years—until he died at the age of 62.

He was my best friend, and I still miss him desperately. Since he died, my sister, with whom I fought fiercely when we were younger, has become one of my best friends. And I’m also very close to my only daughter, Lisa.

Friendship ranks with marriage and kinship as one of the most important relationships in our lives, yet it can be the most neglected. Friendship outside familial ties or marriage plays such an important role in life because with a friend, we can be the person we want to be. Their acceptance affirms that self and lets us develop as individuals.

We make no vows to a best friend, yet we have unstated expectation: understanding, caring, concern. We expect a friendship to last.

Most of us have been making friends since childhood, so we tend to think the process in instinctual, then we find that the heart of friendship—how to make the relationship blossom, grow and survive—requires more attention and skill than we thought. To Ralph Waldo Emerson, “the only way to a friend is to be one.”

Becoming friends involves process of sharing, a gradual relaxation of vigilance over what partners reveal to each other about themselves. Friends must learn to balance the inclination to be open with the need to be protective of each other’s feelings. A best-friendship gets out of balance when the intensity becomes too one-sided. Total disclosure isn’t what makes intimacy in a relationship; it’s the listening and sharing.

Increasing numbers of people are finding that gender doesn’t matter when it comes to friendship, as the sexes mingle more often today.

Making friends with someone of the opposite sex can be an eye-opening experience. Michael told me what he discovered: "I was working the assembly line with Marcia, just as I would with a guy. And she kept pointing out how patronizing I was, offering to do the work for her because I felt she was less capable.

Then Michael realized he was hearing the same complaint from his girlfriend. So he invited Marcia out for a beer and they talked. “I learned about today’s women from her. What I knew about women I’d learned from my father. I was a generation behind the times. Now I’m married to the girlfriend I had when I met Marcia, and I’m indebted to her for that. She and I are still good friends. Marcia and my wife are friends, too.

Can you fix a broken friendship? If you feel a close friend has hurt you, it’s worthwhile to sit down and say, “If I didn’t care about you, I’d just shrug my shoulders and go my own way. But since I do care, I’d like to straighten this out.” then calmly talk about what has happened. You might find it’s just a misunderstanding.

I can’t say I healed a broken friendship with my sister—our sibling rivalry was nothing unusual. But since Milton died, she and I found each other again, and it means a lot to me. The longer I live, the more important it is to feel connected. And that is what we do though friends.

Near the end of his battle with cancer, Milton sent me to see our new granddaughter. I held her and kissed her for both of us. When I told Milton I’d done this, he said, “I’ll always be with you, because part of me is in her, in each of grandchildren.” he died a day or so latter.

I have four grandchildren now, and what Milton said it true. I take them, one by one, on adventures all over the world, and each time I find new friendships. And Milton, my best friend, is always with me.

Structural analysisStructural analysis

The text can be divided into six parts.

Part One: (Paragraphs 1-2) The two paragraphs serve as an

introduction in which the author raises a common problem—”we often have a hard time knowing what the term (friend) means.”

Part Two: (Paragraphs 3-4)

The author uses her own experiences to tell the reader that friendship can occur in marriage and families, which might be a surprise to many people.

Part Three: (Para. 5-8):

In paragraphs 5-6, the author discusses the importance of friendship outside familial ties.In paragraphs 7-8, the author goes on to offer suggestions on friend-making.

Part four: (Para. 9-11):These paragraphs are about

friendship between opposite sexes. The author makes it clear that friendship with someone of the opposite sex can enrich one’s experience.

Part Five: (Para. 12-13): In these two paragraphs the author sh

ifts to another subtopic—how to fix a broken friendship.

Part Six: (Para. 14-15): In the last part of the text the

author turns back to the subtopic: friend-making. Here the author directs her discussion to her friendship with her grandchildren. The discussion echoes the statement in the third paragraph:” Friendship can occur any place…”

Main Idea of the passage

As a piece of expository writing, the text supplies the psychological definition and the author’s understanding of friendship. The author also discusses friendship within family ties and outside kinship ties, then offers suggestions for friend-making.

Language pointsLanguage points identify to find out exactly what something is E.g. After years of research scientist have

identified the virus that is responsible for the disease.

She identified him as her attacker. transient/transitory lasting for only a short period of time E.g. his many love affairs had only

brought him transient pleasures.

Back to the text

Only historians fully understand the transient nature of civilization.

Financial connected with money To show as an example E.g. Accountants look after the financial

administration of an enterprise. The opening years of the 19th century

saw financial crisis at home and abroad.

Back to the text

essential adj. completely necessary for the existence of

something E.g. Before you set off down the ski-slope

it is essential to ensure that your skis are securely fastened.

It is essential that the oil level is checked every 10,000km., otherwise the engine may seize up.

Back to the text

rank as/among to regard as having a certain relative position E.g. Yao Ming ranks among the world’s best ba

sketballers.. This result ranks as one of the their most succes

sful election performances of the last ten years. neglect to give too little attention or care E.g. Staff at the hostel were accused of neglecti

ng and abusing children in their care. back to the text

…with a friend, we can be the person we want to be. Friends give us support, which proves the worth of

what we are doing. individual A single person considered separately from the class

or group E.g. The decision to have an abortion should be up

to the individual involved. It’s the responsibility of each individual within

the class to make sure they have the correct books. Back to the text

caring loving and sympathetic E.g. It’s possible for men to be tough and, at the same

time, caring and sensitive. tend to to be likely to E.g. My father tends to interfere too much in other

people’s business. The bank tends to employ only white middle-class

men. tendency n. E.g. Divorced people have a tendency to live with new

partners rather than marry again. Back to the text

instinctual=instinctive based on instinct rather than on knowledge E.g. White jazz seemed old and intellectual,

whereas black jazz was vital, swinging and instinctive.

vigilance alert watchfulness Looking after young children requires

constant vigilance—you never know what they’ll get up to next.

Back to the text

…a gradual relaxation of vigilance over what partners reveal to each other about themselves.

…partners gradually become less guarded when revealing what they really are to each other.

protective tending to protect E.g. some people say it’s nice to have a protec

tive boyfriend, but I feel s if I’m suffocated Back to the text

A best-friendship gets out of balance when the intensity becomes too one-sided.

A best-friendship suffers if there is too much disclosure or too much protection of each other’s feelings.

patronizing behaving toward other people as if superior or

more important, i.e. like a patron E.g. Don’t be so patronizing—I’m not a child a

ny more. I know just as much about it as you do. Back to the text

complaint a statement of annoyance, dissatisfaction, etc. E.g. The principal received a number of complai

nts from parents that their children were being bullied.

What I knew about women I’d learned from my father.

This sentence is stricture in an inverted order. The normal sentence order would be “I had learned what I knew about women from my father.”

The inversion gives emphasis to “what I knew about women”.

Back to the text

straighten outto settle (something) by removing the

confusion or difficulties in it E.g. Mr. Rogers promised he would

straighten everything out, so I signed the paper.

They seem to have the completely wrong idea of what I want. Can you straighten it out?

rivalryCompetition

back to the text

E.g. the wow women are good friends but there is also an element of rivalry in their relationship.

These acting awards are contested in an atmosphere of fierce rivalry

Near the end of his battle with cancer,…The writer uses a vivid metaphor “battle with

cancer” to compare her husband’s struggle with cancer to a battle.

Back to the text

battlea fightE.g. The president is fully committed to the battle

against drug trafficking. at last the World Health Organization is

winning the battle against malaria in the region.

adventurean exciting and unusual experienceE.g. The story of her single-handed voyage across

the Atlantic is one of heroism and adventure.Back to the text

Text II. Do This and You Will Be Welcome Text II. Do This and You Will Be Welcome AnywhereAnywhere

Dale CarnegieDale Carnegie

Why read this book to find out how to win friends? Why not study the technique of the greatest winner of friends the world has ever known? Who is he? You may meet him tomorrow coming down the street. When you get within ten feet of him, he will begin to wag his tail. If you stop and pat him, he will almost jump out of his skin to show you how much he likes you. And you know that behind this show of affection on his part, there are no ulterior motives: he doesn’t want to sell you any real estate, and he doesn't want to marry you.

Did you ever stop to think that a dog is the only animal that doesn’t have to work for a living? A hen has to lay eggs; a cow has to give milk; and a canary has to song. But a dog makes his living by giving you nothing but love.

When I was five years old, my father bought a little yellow-haired pup for fifty cent. He was the light and joy of my childhood, every afternoon

about four-thirty, he would sit in the front yard with his beautiful eyes staring steadfastly at the path, and as soon as he heard my voice or saw me swinging my dinner pail through the buck brush, he was off like a shot, racing breathlessly up the hill to greet me with leaps of joy and barks of sheer ecstasy.

Tippy was my constant companion for vive years. Then one tragic night—I shall never forget it—he was killed within ten feet of my head, killed by lightning. Tippy’s death was the tragedy of boyhood.

You never read a book on psychology, Tippy. You didn’t need to. You knew by some divine instinct that one can make more friends in two months by becoming genuinely interested in other people than one can in two years by trying to get other people interested in him. Let me repeat that. You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people that you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.

Yet I know and you know people who blunder through life trying to wigwag other people into becoming interested in them.

Of course, it doesn’t work. People are not interested in you. They are not interested in me. They are interested in themselves—morning, noon, and after dinner.

The New York Telephone Company made a detailed study of telephone conversations to find out which word is the most frequently used. You have guessed it: it is the personal pronoun." I”. “I”. “I”. It was used 3,990 times in 500 telephone conversations. ." I”. “I”. “I”. ." I”. “I”.

When you see a group photograph that you are in, whose picture do you look for first?

If you think people are interested in you, answer this question: If you died tonight, how many people would come to you funeral?

If we merely try to impress people and get people interested in us, we will never have many true, sincere friends. Friend, real friends, are not made that way.

Napoleon tried it, and in his last meeting with Josephine he said:" Josephine, I have been as fortunate as any man ever was on this earth; and yet, at this hour, you are the only person in the world on whom I can rely.” and historians doubt whether he could rely ever on her.

The late Alfred Adler, the famous Viennese psychologist, wrote a book entitled What Life Should Mean to You. In that book he says: “ it is the individual who is not interested in his fellowmen who has the greatest difficulties in life and provides the greatest injury to others. It is from among such individuals that all human failures spring.”

Main idea of Text 2Main idea of Text 2

With an example of his pet dog, Tippy in his childhood, the writer tries to make it clear that if we want to have more friends, and if we want to be liked by others, we should love and be interested in others first, and we shouldn’t be too self-centered.

Topic for discussion:Topic for discussion:

What does the writer want to tell us with the example of Tippy?

The writer wants to tell us that you can make more friends by becoming genuinely interested in other people than getting people interested in you.

Words and Expressions for Text Vendearment n. an expression or sign of loveterm n. a word with a meaning in a particular fieldtransient a. lasting for only short period of timedesperately ad. very or very muchrank v. to give or be given a particular positionkinship n. relationship between relativesneglect v. to give or be given a particular positionfamilial a. (typical) of a familyaffirm v. to state positively that something is truevow n. a solemn promise

Back to the text

tend to, to be likely to instinctual a. based on instinct rather than on knowledgeblossom v. to develop successfullyvigilance n. alert watchfulnessinclination n. a special liking for somethingdisclosure n. the act of telling someone something that

is secretintimacy n. the state of being very close to each othermingle v. to mixcomplaint n. a statement of annoyance, dissatisfaction,

etc.Back to the text

be indebted to , to be very grateful to worthwhile a. worthy of one’s time and effortstraighten out, to settle (something) by removing

the confusion or difficulties in itsibling rivalry, competition between brothers and

sisters

Back to the text

transient culturesCultures in which things, ideas, etc.

change quickly.…single into their thirtiesremain single in their thirties…our sibling rivalry was nothing unusualWe sisters rivaled with each other just as

many others did.

Back to the text

Ralph Waldo EmersonAmerican philosopher, essayist and poet. His

philosophy is known as transcendentalism,. The values he particularly stressed were intellectual freedom, integrity, self-reliance and realism,. The best known of his essays, published in two series are “Self-reliance”, “Compensation” and “The Over-Soul”. Other volumes are English Traits and The Conduct of Life.

Back to the text

Notes for Text IIDale Carnegie ： Dale Carnegie was a pioneer in public speakin

g and personality development. He became famous by showing others how to become successful. His books became popular because of his illustrative stories and simple, well-phrased rules. His most popular books are How to Win Friends and Influence People, Public Speaking and Influence Men in Business, etc.

Napoleon: Napoleon(1769-1821) was emperor of France from 1804-1818.

Josephine: Josephine(1763-1814) was empress of France from 1804-1809. as widow of the Vicomte de Beauharnais, she married Napoleon I but the marriage was annulled.

Back to the text