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An eBook from Selahsomeone
ABSTRACT“Because a choice is Hard or tough, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. The greater the sacrifice, the greater the reward.”
Selahsomeonewww.selahsomeonetotalkto.com
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I HAVE NO
CHOICEBy Selahsomeone
(Abosede Omotayo)
© 2017
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CHAPTER ONE
The God Angle
”Joshua 24:15 And if it seem evil unto you to serve the Lord, choose you this day whom
ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of
the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my
house, we will serve the Lord.”
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Choice is one of man’s fundamental right to which God
would not influence unless man gives Him the right to.
Deuteronomy 30:19 “I call heaven and earth to witness
against you today that I have set before you, life and death,
blessing and curse. Therefore choose life, that you and your
offspring may live”. God has given you and me, the power
to choose; the right to decide which path we want to follow
and the privilege to choose the master we want to serve.
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Do you know that where you and I are today is as a result of
those choices we have made in the past? Not evil powers,
not circumstances, not the economy, not our upbringing, not
our background, not our friends but our choices. When we
make the right choices, things will go right and vice versa.
Even when people try to guide you, it is still your choice to
choose whether to listen or not. Now, you should be asking
yourself, “how can I make the right choice?”
Making the right choice requires you to make an important
choice first and that is “the choice to accept, serve and trust
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God and give your life a sense of direction”. Prov 3: 4-5
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on
your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make straight your paths”. If you make this
choice today, then you would be handing God the right to
guide your future choices and believe me dear, with God you
can’t go wrong.
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Chapter Two
The Little Lie
”I Don’t Have A Choice”…This is the little lie we tell ourselves each time
something happens, which could have been avoided, if we had made better
choice(s).
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Choices are different ways a particular event could have
been handled and in real life situations it is absolutely
impossible to have just one option. Choices could either be
easy or hard. What many people call “No Choice” is simply
the absence of “an Easy option”. Hard choices often require
more energy, overcoming fears, humility, faith, lots of brain
activities, controlled emotions, self-sacrifice, self-discipline
and hope. Easy choices on the other hand require less or
nothing and often times it produces nothing extra-ordinary.
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Illustration:
Two different houses were robbed some time ago, after
taking the possessions of the people in these two houses, the
robbers demanded to sleep with the wives before their
husbands, at gun point. The husband in the first house did
not put up a fight, because he felt at gun point he had no
choice, so he allowed them rape his wife and the robbers left.
However, the husband in second house, resisted the robbers
despite the guns, he was shot at and because of the screams
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and pandemonium that followed, the robbers fled without
raping his wife.
After the incident, the first house never remained the same.
The husband could not look at his wife again neither could
the wife forgive her man for allowing the robbers to have
her, they divorced after some time and the kids were shared.
In the second house, though the man now limps, his wife and
his kids love and respect him more, he became the hero of
his family and a confidant of his wife because he made the
hard choice.
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Yes it is not easy to make the hard or tough choices but then
it will always set you apart.
Many people complain about their current jobs but still they
don’t resign, telling themselves, ‘I have no choice’; many are
trapped in a bad relationship and they hang on, saying, ‘I
have no choice’; some keep doing shameful things and they
know it is shameful but they tell themselves, ‘I have no
choice’; someone insults you and you fight back, saying, ‘I
have no choice’; all my friends are bad, giving my life to
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Christ will make me look silly, see ‘I have no choice’… Dear
reader, we all have choices and because a choice is hard
doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.
Heroes, Legends, Martyrs, Extra-ordinary people,
Successful entrepreneurs, World leaders, great icons have all
made the hard choices many times in their lives and if you
intend to be amongst them you have to learn to start making
some tough choices too. Everything in life requires making
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choices but for the best things of life, you need to make the
hard choices. Take the bold steps, make the right choices no
matter how difficult they might seem and life itself will
reward you.
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Chapter Three
Choice and Responsibility
In the end, we are responsible for how things turn out for us. Not the gods
neither is it the unseen spirits, not fate neither is it destiny, it is simply the
accumulation of all the choices we have made; one choice after another!
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Recently, a friend of mine lost his job because of an obvious
silly act, and when he was asked what happened his response
was, “it was the devil” (I am sure the ‘devil’ must be so
confused by now considering the number of accusations
he/she gets daily). Then I simply asked him,” did the devil
make those choices for you?”. He wouldn’t reply, he just
kept starring blank. This is exactly what most of us do, when
things go sideways, we are so comfortable at passing the
blame, while others use words like “God understands, it is
well, I can’t kill myself etc.” to cover up for their laziness
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and indecisions. Don’t get me wrong, supernatural forces are
real but 99% of consequences are as a result of bad decisions;
our own choices.
Too often we shy away from taking responsibilities for our
mistakes, bad choices and nonchalant attitudes however, we
are quick to take credit for things we got right. Life works
both ways, sometimes it is just so perfect while other times
it seems like we can’t just get anything right, unfortunately,
we have to be responsible for both outcomes. We want to ask
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questions like; why me? what kind of luck is this? who
should I blame for this? When the most important question
should have been ‘will I be able to bear the outcome of this
choice?’.
I know most often wrong choices are as a result of pressure,
pressure so powerful that our natural line of thoughts
become distorted. Such pressures include peer pressure,
greed, hunger, body desires, laziness, anger, jealousy,
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alcohol, drugs, cravings etc., but the truth is, no matter what
is responsible for the pressure, when the did is done, no one
sees the pressure and distortions again, the fact you made a
choice and you must face the consequences; even where you
don’t pay the ultimate price, the scar just never goes away.
Now I am not going to assume, we all have equal self-
control, in fact I agree it is often easier making a wrong
choice than the right one, right decisions require more
sacrifices and sincerely it takes lots of guts but we also must
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have it in our subconscious that we will be responsible for
the outcome of our actions. If it’s our action then the
responsibility cannot be passed.
“You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the
circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change
yourself. That is something you have charge of.” – Jim Rohn.
To achieve your goals in life you have to take responsible
for your actions and inactions, and you have to be disciplined
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enough to make the right choices, even when they really
don’t sit well with your immediate desires. Apologize when
your choice affects others most will forgive your sincerity,
when you give your words honour them because second
chances are very rare, own your problems and be about
solutions, and don’t feed your lazy thoughts by being
inactive, even the devil needs an idle hand before the devil
can manipulate.
It is your life and you are responsible for the outcomes, you
hold the pen to write your own story, the moment you drop
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the pen others will pick it and write whatever pleases them
for you. I don’t want that and I know neither do you. So don’t
handover the control of your life to someone or something
else, own your existence and make this one life that you have
count for something good.
You are responsible for your life, so learn to take responsibility!
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POSE
No matter who said what, it has always been your decision
You have made the choices and you are in this situation
People may have influenced your line of thought
But you could have looked back on what you have been taught
No matter how bad and demeaning the pressure is
You always had the chance to choose before it came to what it is
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Many people will come along our way
Many of whom have lost their way
If we do not exercise caution we may join the trend
Forgetting we have a say on whom we choose to call a friend
We are responsible for our lives first before we care for two
Even when we are blinded by our feelings and needs too
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Circumstances, most say led them to doom
But same circumstances had made others bloom
What we make of life is more of how we respond to life
Some challenges may seem insurmountable but that’s just life
When you go through history, you will find people have survived worse
And what you are going through is just a phase in life’s pose
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No one can take the blame for the choices you have made but you
Bad character and uncontrolled childhood excesses kills prospects like flu
We have no sufficient reasons to end up as failures
In spite of the rough starts, faith and hard work are often the best cues
There will be pressure from friends, family and life itself
But in the mist of all these pressures you will be wise to be yourself
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Chapter Four
Getting What You Deserve
Good choices don’t necessarily translate to excellence or success, sometimes we deserve the best through our choices yet we end up with little or nothing!
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There is a clear difference between what you desire and what you deserve. What you desire is what you wish to have with or without the means while what you deserve is what comes to you based on what you have invested and the choices you have made. Lots of people have concluded that life really doesn’t give people what they deserve but this is untrue what life may not give is what man desires, it surely gives man what he deserves.
Our choices to a large extent determines what we get out of life. Making the good choices and sometimes hard choice drives us closer to what we deserve, however apart from our choices, there are other factors that we must never neglect, if we truly want what we deserve.
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How Can You Get What You Deserve
1. Set your priorities right: Define what your life is about, what your purpose is and make the best of what you have.
2. Get information on where you are going: No knowledge is wasted and what won’t teach you what to do would teach you what not to do. Knowledge is the path to success.
3. Connect the right people: You are as influential as the people you know. Meet people in your field, make connections that would aide your growth and development.
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4. Never let small obstacles discourage you: Hurdles will come, there would be trying times, hardship and cruel people will try to pull you down but see them as small obstacles which are not enough to stop your dreams.
5. Know that success is not an end neither is failure the end: Success is not a point to be reached but movement from one point of achievement to another just as failure is not the end but a chance to pause and re-strategize.
6. Embrace criticisms and be weary of praises: Critics should be your best friends, they see what you wouldn’t see about yourself, don’t ignore them. Praise-singers should be ignored as much as possible so they don’t make you lose your focus.
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7. Don’t neglect the supernatural angle of life: Whatever manifests in the natural has its origin from the supernatural, don’t play God as a substitute, give Him the lead role in your life and every of your dealings.
You can get what you deserve if you really work at it and stop wishing for it, because you desire it doesn’t make it your entitlement but if you give it all you have and make choices in line with what you want, then you will have what you deserve.
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Chapter 5
Live To Be
What is your greatest desire? What do you want more than anything in this world? What gives you joy whenever you do it? What do you think your
happiness is tied to? What burns in your heart and gives you sleepless nights? Note, the question is ‘what‘ and not ‘who‘, these are questions that can lead
you to what you should live to be(come) by choice.
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Do you know making your dream come true is solely your responsibility? The choice of the kind of people you allow into your life, the kind of thoughts you entertain and the amount of efforts you are willing to exert would eventually determine how far you will go. Having desires don’t count for dreams, what counts are realizable desires backed by plan course of actions and drive to make them happen.
Because you want to be a millionaire doesn’t make being a millionaire your dream but when you say you want to make millions as a professional and you choose to pursue that profession with all you have got, then you have a dream and purpose to become a millionaire.
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Life is meant to be lived and living is to be; become something, be yourself, be purposeful, be successful, be a better you and so on. Many people live just to please others; parents, spouse, friends, colleagues etc., they have pleased people for too long they have lost the idea of who they are or who they want to be; that is not living!
Living goes beyond sleeping, eating and working. Living requires making hard and tough choices; having direction, destination, goals and purpose. We don’t just want to be another figure on the world’s population, we should be amongst those figures that truly count.
“When it is a decision about your life, you come first. You don’t have to lose your happiness because you want to make someone happy. You never should have to become small so that someone can feel comfortable around you!”
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When choosing, there are so many things we can sacrifice; money, clothes, comfort, time etc. but of all things, no one should ever have to sacrifice his/her happiness. Whatever gives us joy, happiness, satisfaction is not worth sacrificing. You don’t have to become small so that anyone can feel comfortable around you. If you have identified who you are meant to be, then only people that shares that vision with you is good enough in your life. You should not be forced to choose between your happiness and anyone or anything. You can compromise on so many things but never on your visions and happiness.
Live to be, don’t live to please, what good is life if not well lived. Be about purpose, you have not come this far to end
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up as a none-entity (nonentity). There is something about you that draws you to something new waiting to be unleashed, open your mind and follow the ray of light. No time is too late and none is too early.
Make the tough calls, choose the kind of life you want, the kind of people that you want there, surround yourself with people who want to be part of your success story, choose a life you deserve and work at it till you have what you truly want. Dreams come true my friends but only dreams that are work at.