Amanda Hall Paper1 Profolio

8/2/2019 Amanda Hall Paper1 Profolio

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For Heavens Sake, Get to thePoint!

BY: Amanda Hall

If an innocent, truly interested read-

er picks up a book and wants to really

feel the story, is it more effec-

tive writing if he reads, The

kind-hearted and fair damsel

labors strenuously, bringing herself nearly

to the brink of exhaustion on behalf of that

noble organization, the Federation of the

Blind, devoting as many as twenty hours in

every week to this laudable endeavor. or

The woman works tirelessly for charity,

contributing more than 20 hours every

week at the Federation of the Blind? No

contest! While flowery wording is often

misguidedly chosen as a writing style mas-

querading as effective, it is really concise,

direct writing with optimal word choice

that always better conveys and captivates

the reader.

Really, Less is More!

When it comes to writing, authors

lacking confidence, or just extremely ver-

bose, believe loading a sentence with a lot

of elaborate, descriptive words will force

the reader to feel the intended emotion and

be captivated; however, using unnecessary,

countless words in general will most likely

confuse the reader who has no hope of de-

ciphering the point the writer is trying to

make, if there actually is a point. Inexperi-

enced writers find it easier to exhaustibly

describe scenes or elaborate on feelings be-

cause it is easier to fill up a page with

words than effectively and efficiently tell a

story that, in its telling, provides real expe-

rience to the reader. According to Sherice

Jacobs, the education system today encour-

ages students to use creativity in their writ-

ing to facilitate the expression of emotions

(pg). Unfortunately this teaching style usu-

ally leads to purple patches, or needless

sections of flowery words that instead of


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captivating the reader, draw him or her

away from what the writer is really trying

to say. Most people embark on reading for

either work or pleasure. When reading for

pleasure, the reader wants to be swept off

his or her feet with active text that allows

ones own imagination to fill in the blanks.

Active, exciting, effective story telling

makes a literary piece intriguing; whereas,

never ending, over-inclusive storytelling

leads to disinterest, confusion and even

coma-like stupor. Likewise, a reader tack-

ling a document for work, or a student at-

tempting an academic article with the goal

of the most expedient absorption of con-

tent, does not want to waste any time try-

ing to glean importance out of a piece drip-

ping with inconsequential verbiage and

monotonous droning of grandiose or trivial

inclusions. In the article Dos and Donts

of Writing a Compelling Opening

Chapter, Idrees Patel agrees, explaining

that tight writing is a great way to keep

the reader engaged. Shorter sentences

make reading easier, because it makes it

more likely the reader will be able to re-

member what was said.

The Fix


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The fix to overloading a sentence

with a bunch of words is simplicity: keep it

short! Adding extra words in the hope that

a beautiful writing piece will grow is a los-

ing proposition, unless of course the author

is William Faulkner, an extremely gifted

master in writing long flowing sentences.

Unfortunately, in elementary through high

school, as well as on the dreaded and col-

lege-determining standardized tests such as

the SAT, the use of as many words as pos-

sible is shamelessly encouraged by assign-

ing papers with minimum word counts, in-

stead of papers geared to effectively and

consummately cover assigned points. Ac-

cording to Jacobs, a reader wants to be able

to get straight to the point, so a writer

should limit taking short cuts, detours, or

becoming unnecessarily repetitive.

Effective word Choice

An unforgivable way to lose a readers in-

terest is through poor word choice.

Filling a sentence with a bunch of adjec-

tives to describe something is monotonous

and sometimes even overwhelming to the

reader. Good word choice is like cooking: a

chef doesnt want to overpower the eater

with a dizzying array of spices because it

makes the food bitter, over stimulating the

diners pallet. On the other hand, if the

cook does not add enough spices, the meal

is bland and boring. Balance is the key and

the same principle applies to an inviting lit-

erary work. Too many words can over

stimulate a readers brain; he or she simply

cannot process it, or may not have the en-

ergy or motivation to try. Effective word

choice creates a nice flow, which resonates

with the reader and makes the story deli-

cious. In Element of Style, William

Strunk, Jr. concurs, explaining that A sen-

tence should contain no unnecessary

words, and a paragraph no unnecessary

sentences.

The Fix


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One valuable tool used to attract

and hold the readers attention is the use of

the strongest, most accurate verb at every

opportunity. For example, the word

searches is bland and not nearly as dy-

namic and effective as explores. A reader

can visualize a character exploring but is

lulled to sleep picturing someone finding

something. Verbs, however, tend to have a

presence of their own and have to be treat-

ed with respect when writing; a great verb

can be ruined with a lack of understanding

by the writer. For example, a sentence

such as, The woman died a horrific

painful death, sounds overly dramatic and

unnecessary, whereas The woman died a

painful death, gets the point across quick-

ly and effectively.

Getting to the Point

Many an unsuspecting, aspiring

writer has been seduced by the promise of

flowery writing, which is both misguided

and tragic when attempted written pieces

become redundant, mind-numbing works

that serve to lull the reader into resigned

submission. In Writing Concise Sen-

tences, Gary Larson explains how redun-

dant phrases are bad habits just waiting to

take over a persons writing. Larson as-

serts that this bad habit tends to sprout

from wordiness, a practice which also re-

sults in a garden variety of misinterpreta-

tions by the reader. As previously stated,

students are sometimes encouraged to fo-

cus on writing a lot of words because they

are assigned a certain length of paper, or

that the piece needs to be so many words.

Teachers are challenged to recognize the

value of writing 500 effective words in-

stead of 1000 words chosen to take up as-

signed space, and to encourage students to

write concise sentences that make sense,

get to the point, and are free of ineffective

redundancy.

The Fix


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Writers can avoid the pitfalls ac-

companying flowery writing if they

crunch up their sentences. Sherice Ja-

cobs advises writers to read aloud a couple

of sentences and, if out of breath due to the

outrageous length, try making it more di-

gestible for the reader by eliminating extra

words (pg). Teachers can likewise motivate

their students to produce powerful, charis-

matic writing by challenging them to write

a consummate piece that meets their own

satisfaction.

Conclusion

The misguided promise that flow-

ery writing is effective will unfortunately

continue to influence the novice writer try-

ing to impress unsuspecting readers every-

where, but it by no means has to become a

death sentence to once-promising literary

works. If writers commit to concise writing

they will prove that less is really more and

will be victorious in the eyes of the reader.

Finally, writers cant forget the main ingre-

dient for good writing: good word choice.

Mastering the arts of balance and effective

word choice are the keys to memorable

writing, mesmerizing lucky readers and

guaranteeing their overall satisfaction.


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Amanda Hall Paper1 Profolio