Alessandra MicalizziIULM University – Communication, behaviour and consumption dept.

alessandra.micalizzi@iulm.it

Remaking bordersFirst EastBordeNet Conference – Catania, 20-22 January 2011

University of Catania

Suffering Togetherness: Motherhood and Hide Emotions in Case of Prenatal Death

Framing the research…

Narrative approach

Identity:As narrative construction

Relationship:The results of

narratives exchanges

Internet as Narrative technology

«Narratives live in our mind, they organize our thoughts, they help us to interpret daily experiences and give meaning to our existence» (Di Fraia, 2005)

“Narrative self”

Framing the research…

Internet as Narrative technology

Post-orality

Mediation /protection

fragmentation

Multiple self

Participation

Intimacy

Public-private space

Virtual togetherness

Perinatal death mourning

From a narrative point of view, it’s a turning point

MotherSocial context

Signs of matherhood

Failed expectations and desirers

Certainty that the baby “was” a part of her life

Future perspective

Not-recognition of tragic event

Not recognition of the new identities (both as mother as well as people that lives a loss

Methodology

Cyber-ethnography

Qualitative content analysis25 e-mail interviews

Qualitative approach

Practices of uses

Acclimatising phase

Introduction phase

Participation phase

Taking responsibility phase

Exit phase

Borders on/off line

1

2

3

4

5

1. Acclimatising

«Initially, I didn’t sign up, I spent hours reading what others had written, but I was not able to ‘come out’! Maybe because to do so meant telling myself “It’s all true, and it really happened and you can’t go back. I am also a special mommy and Alice with not come back to me”» Alice’s mom.

• reading other messages (lurking)• finding similar experiences• reflecting on the identity denied (as mother)• Strongly sense of misunderstanding and diversity respect the world

“outside”

2. Introduction

«Alice died December 2 and I signed up on January 9, if I remember correctly. It was time to face everything, but, most of all, to be hugged by other magnificent mommies» Alice’s mom.

• creating an account strictly connected with the identity as “Mother”• retelling the story about the loss (processing mourning) coactions

to repet• be a part to the community constructing a sense of community

3. Participation

«Being part of the forum is like having another family in the sense that you belong to a group where personal bonds are strengthened by sharing difficult experiences and they grow with reciprocal exchange and help! » (Claudia Ravaldi, Lapo’s mommy, meeting facilitator)

• common destiny effect clear difference between the world on and off line

• construction of “special mummy identity”• regular narratives exchange• Elective affinity special relations

4. “Taking responsibility”

«Months by months, I started to felt better. I understood I’m not alone. I was stronger and I was ready to help other special mummies. When I read some stories, stories like mine, I thought and I said to others “I’m the living witness that you can go through”» Marta’s mom.

• narratives more focused on answering others and not in speaking about personal emotions

• re-appropriation of real life (new or old interests) personal identity• re-building relational bonds social identity

5. Exit

«I’m not ready yet to abandon the forum. I can’t think me without my new virtual friends. But I think, may be a day, I’ll spend less time on the Net and I’ll start again to live» Paola’s mom.

• desire to “normality”• less sense of dependence from the forum• reduction of the presence on the forum

Remaking the borders: identity implications

Identity level• searching for the identity ad mother, denied outside of the Net• processing the mourning: coping by

• auto-biographical narration• sharing the narration (reflection on self by the glance of others)

• reconstruct new identity, involving also the Real life

Border on/off

LossFirst search on the Net

AcclimatisingIntroduction

Participation

Taking responsibility

Exit Coherent narratives about the self