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Agape Love By Marilyn Lyon
Agape Love
Agape Love; unconditional love, a perfect feat of balance.
Not just a state of mind, but a state of doing. One we
often dream of obtaining. One, we can easily assume we
live in naturally. Seems most of us do not get the
opportunity to practice it.
I could mourn the crack addiction. I could pray for it to
leave. I could try to contribute to its death. I could
pretend it was not here, year after year, or that it might
always be here.
Maybe even that death might take it away, as well as my
son, or that there is and was a quick and easy answer.
What I could do is share with him the place I reached
after many years of both our failures. I could give us
both a relationship, of sorts. It could be called Agape
Love, although at the time I called it my program for
surviving my pain.
Eventually some inner belief planted itself that he could
find an answer one of these next times. Then the new
uplifting knowledge that each time he tried and failed, he
could start again from where he left off the last time he…
Chapter 8
I sat down after Christmas Day and wrote this to my son.
--- Everyone in the family wants you to know we are here if you
need us. This is not just your problem, it is our problem together.
We are all experiencing 'the crack crap' as well as the emotional
and mental dysfunction it causes.
--- We do not know everything but we know enough. We do not
have the answer or answers. We will constantly seek for them or
it. We stumble and falter and briefly give up. But we get back up
and begin again.
--- Our support may seem meaningless to you especially as we
travel further along in this and try and choose the support in
areas we have learned is not helpful to you. Our support will have
to come in your faith that it is there, and it does mean
something.
--- We have made mistakes collectively and individually. We
believe in the successes not the failures. Divine intervention
needs its place, not just when all else fails, but to believe that
there is an answer.
--- I felt very much alone writing this. I needed to write it. I
knew the family in their hearts did feel this way, but had really
given up on him. Why then could not I?
--- I also found George Medzerian’ s book. It opened a door
inside me that would allow me to continue being a partner in my
son's fight with crackcocaine. It gave me a role and function,
which made sense. A way I could live with his crack-crap.
The Last Page
--- Is there one simple cure or program? At the moment
no. Maybe there never will be. Crackheads are
complicated substance abusers. We are people, mostly
women with some primitive instincts, which can force us
into a heart-mode separating artistically every single
aspect of life not related to a problem we insist on solving
with the shear, will of just our heart. My daughter said I
helped. So- it was GOD, he says! He is not denying all
the other things but…Todd said he was so terrified of the
feeling, the overwhelming lure of that future moment he
was sure no matter how many sponsors or books or
meetings or memorizing of triggers or help of any kind-
he could not resist.
--- It was a lot of things, least of all the right time. Time
to collect-time to understand-time to hurt too much-but
what I wanted above all…
Marilyn Ruth Lyon
March 2, 1935 - July 26, 1994
75 Day Do-It-Yourself-Program
Destroy Crack Cocaine
In
75 Days 3rd
Edition
by:
The Crack Conqueror
a.k.a. Todd Gibson
This book contains a spiritually supported detoxification format for the process of
decontaminating your body, soul and spirit from the possession of crack cocaine.
Copyright © DVC Ministry
Smoking crack cocaine will destroy everything
you have ever thought, felt, desired, loved or
believed in.
It is not in any religion that an answer can be found.
Answers start to formulate when we develop a
relationship with printed words of powerful healing
truths; scriptures from the Holy Bible are where they
can be found.
Nothing gets in the way of crack cocaine once it
has possession. Standard treatment does not
address the extreme possession that does occur
during crack cocaine use.
Feeling possessed by the crack-bite is the
loneliest, darkest, sickest, most ugly gnawing
and truly captivating all consuming demonic
place to be.
This booklet is in a format that without a doubt
saved my life. When I was jotting down all these
notes, I had no idea it would come to this. As we
know God has weird ways to get us where HE wants
us to be whether we want to be there or not. HIS
way works.
Each day away from crack cocaine brings us closer
to being completely free from crack. With a true
desire and the understanding where this stuff is
really coming from and its only mission to destroy;
this understanding and desire will bring you the
strength necessary for success.
How the 75 Day Program Works
This program may take more than once to fully detoxify the
possession of crack cocaine from your soul.
1. NOT following the rules and instructions exactly as described
in this program will directly affect the outcome and results of
learning how to squash the crack cocaine urges.
2. Believe crack cocaine is the devils candy and act like it.
3. Understand and accept this is a spiritual battle for your soul.
4. Learn the crack-attacking scriptures, and attack crack with
them.
5. Carry the 75 Day Booklet with you at ALL times. No excuse’s
not to.
6. Practicing faith and earning trust are essential
components in our actions, words, willingness to change
and being able to see those results.
7. We expect and accept anything that works to attack
crack only.
8. Do not be ashamed or shy about saying the powerful words of healing truths in this booklet loud enough for anyone to hear, including the enemy.
9. Spend more time doing this 75 Day Program a day
than thinking, searching, lying, conniving or anything
else going towards or about crack cocaine.
10. Do not go ahead. Stay on the day you are on. You
may go back to a different day to find power over crack
cocaine, but DO NOT GO FORWARD. After the first
time through this book, if a second, third or more times
are needed, then you can use any day that helps after
doing the days in order (like the first time through), then
using any other day after for extra power.
11. Get really pissed-off at crack cocaine. Get so angry
it will be okay to yell at crack cocaine. Go ahead and
yell at crack. Try it and start attacking crack.
12. Commit to God’s word and to this 75 Day Program until you’re free from crack cocaine possession forever. This program will work when you work it. It has never failed me and it will not fail you. You can fail the program but the program will NOT fail you.
13. REMEMBER: Stopping the madness of smoking crack cocaine sometimes gets worse before it gets better. Knowing this helps in how long it will take for you to get serious about finding a life crack free! The stranglehold from crack cocaine tightens before it loosens, especially now that this journey has begun.
Crack cocaine can be conquered and destroyed forever!
Let your journey begin!
I
L VE
A
CRACKHEAD
By Camille Gibson
A Survivor
Over the years of our Ministry I have reached out to offer
help to quite a few people. Along the way I have told bits
and pieces of my story. Recently, I have felt compelled to
share my own crack cocaine journey, in the hope that it
might help others. I realized this would be a daunting task
if I were to tell all; one that would require me to expose old
wounds and re-live painful events. Events, that I had been
determined to put behind me.
When you are finished reading this book, you will
understand that crack cocaine is not just an addiction.
Crack cocaine is an entity. A truly evil entity with a mission
to kill the user and destroy all those they love.
Scatted within these pages is an arsenal filled with
weapons, tools and armor. Gather them up, they just
might make the difference between life and death.
You may think it is hopeless, but hope anyway. You
may think you are losing, but never ever surrender.
Believe me you can win this battle. My family is living
proof. You can not only win the battle, but together
we will win the war! What a sight, an entire army of
ex crack addicts and their battle weary loved
ones….a blessed people traveling out of the
darkness into the light. Survivors all, moving
towards the lives they have fought so hard to live.
This is my survival story……….
…Yours is waiting to be written.
That evening when I got home from work I called Todd.
We hit it off immediately and talked for a full three hours!
We talked about many things but mostly about my life, my
daughter, my ex-husband and a little bit about his life.
Finally, I said, “Do you want to meet?”
That would be my first date in seven years!
As I walked through the door I tried not to hyperventilate,
I spotted Todd right away. The first thing came to my mind
was oh my gosh!...he is so tiny. How in the world am I
going to get out of this?
As he stood at the bar paying for our drinks, I did notice
his nicely shaped butt … (sorry could not help myself had to put that in).
When we got in the car he kissed me… the sweetest,
deepest, most passionate kiss I have ever felt in my life.
Oh, that kiss… I melted into his mouth! I got butterflies in
my stomach. It took my breath away. There has never
been any man in my life that brought those feelings to me.
As the night was winding down, Todd told me he was
facing jail time for retail fraud (stealing) and that he once had
a crack cocaine problem. I remember thinking to myself,
oh great... the first man whose kisses gave me butterflies
is going to jail. What great luck I have!
I fully expected to end the relationship, which in my mind,
really hadn't begun. I only saw him twice before he started
to serve his time.
I had never even seen the inside of a jail before. The only
jail cell or prisoners I had seen were on TV. I was so
curious, I went to visit him. What a pathetic sight! This
same man, who only a few days before had me in a flutter
was starring back at me through a glass window.
Recalling the events of how crack entered my life was
difficult. I had put all this behind me and moved on. I had
asked God to give me peace over the crack hell and He
did. Now I asked God to bring these memories back.
My first experience with crack happened a few weeks
after Todd got out of jail
I was all ready for bed when he pulled up and knocked
on the door (which became the famous ‘crack knock’ we
all have heard). Todd walks in and holds me tight for a
long time it seemed, and then he walked into the living
room and sat in a corner chair. Who is this man?
He was dirty, he was unshaved, pasty looking, thinner
and smelled.
He spoke so soft I could barely hear him. “I did it again…I
went right back to it.” I said did what?
“Crack cocaine…I did it again, 13 months in jail did not
stop me and I hurt my Grandma…I dragged her into
crack… I cannot believe it!”
The first major incident I can recall is a time Todd stole my
car while I was asleep. Todd was out on a binge. While I
was driving my dad’s car to drop my dad off at his favorite
bar, I spotted Todd in my car. I chased him all through
town going 90 miles an hour in residential streets with my
baby sitting next to me in the seatbelt because her car
seat was in my car.
The second major recall was well after the pattern of
getting paid, disappear smoking crack, begging to come
back, I am sorry and here we are broke, again. He had
stolen from me and my parents, once again broke his
dads heart, digging himself into the fires of the crack hell.
I had every intention to not see him again. I was DONE
again! ENOUGH was enough!
I knew in my heart I had to fight this crack, it cannot win
and ohhh the fight it gave.
The truth will set you free from crack. What do Todd and
I teach? EXPOSE the crack lies and you will gain power
over crack cocaine. This is the answer of how to get the
enemy within out.
TELL THE TRUTH ABOUT CRACK COCAINE, then you
will be set free and no longer be a slave to it.
Crack cocaine can be conquered!
Believing God’s best to you always,
Camille L. Gibson
Devil’s CanDy By Todd Gibson
It is just as it was and will always be just as it is.
I have put down on paper words that helped me eliminate
crack cocaine from my life.
The journeys that crack took me on, ended up being many
blessings. It exposed me to the evil side of life.
I had a relentless desire to smoke crack at any and all
expense. I did this no matter what, no matter who, no
matter how, no matter why, no matter when, no matter
where, no matter…it was truly a horrible passion.
When I finally looked at crack cocaine as an actual force, I
concluded that this is by far more than just substance
abuse or addiction. This is when I was finally able to fight
the tremendous pull crack cocaine has on one’s soul and
spirit.
For a long time, a very long and terrible time I was caught
up in the revolving treatment doors and the revolving jail
doors. Both kept my life spinning for many years of misery
and despair and the absolute feeling of no hope of ever
ridding oneself from the power of crack.
If one would put as much effort into being clean and
understanding the road ahead as we did in chasing the
candy, everyone could quit. Reality says that a majority
will not put that same effort into getting clean and staying
clean.
The process of getting clean from crack cocaine sucks.
Not the end results but the process. All the crack-crap that
has trailed you from crack use comes up and takes a
chunk out of your crack-ass!
Jail really sucked. I sat all day doing nothing except
listening to all the jail-talk. Yada,Yada,Yada…and on and
on and on, waiting for an opening. Three weeks went by,
still just listening all day doing nothing.
All the stories, news and crime associated with crack are
at times very dark. Other times, so unbelievable it makes
me cringe when thinking about all the horrible things I did
just to smoke crack-cocaine. The seriousness of crack has
whittled down to $5.00.
Hope is about all there is when it comes to a true crack-
head.
When you are fully contaminated and in the midst of
despair, anything or just something could help. Doing
nothing won’t. Because it is so spiritually binding, I know it
becomes a spiritual battle.
Without the sacrifice of being safe with safe people and
the desire for faith and of trust, and doing whatever it
takes to have these things, otherwise the desire to smoke
crack will deceive you and destroy all that stands in its
path.
Every crackhead has a smoking pattern. It starts way
before the crackling sound fills the bubble and starts the
journey to Crackville, USA.
It is far beyond anyone’s wildest idea how strong the pull
of crack is.
You will always be a crackhead!
Not Me!
Faith is the trigger for God’s awesome power. Without
faith, you might as well forget it. When His time is right He
will bring you out. As a matter of fact He will shine His
flashlight right in your face! If your heart is right and your
faith in check, the realization that smoking crack is not
what God wants you to be doing will manifest whether you
want it to or not.
I find power and relief in the printed word, in both reading
and writing, more in the writing than the reading. When my
despair was below hitting bottom, I started writing anything
that came to mind.
The first scripture that I read that actually felt real and
that it might be true or at least I was desperately hoping
could be true was Psalm 34. I was living in a rat and cock-
roach infested rooming hotel. Every drug addict, pimp and
easy crack babe were no further than 50 feet away at any
given moment.
It was years later that I was finally crack-free!
How much joy can I express in printed words that
describe the ultimate high in life…to play music that
moves the soul and spirit; a lifelong dream since I was 6
years old.
The year of 2002 was the year a life long dream was
fulfilled. I recorded a CD in my new basement on my home
computer recording studio that I am very proud of. The
melodies are soothing harmonic melodies. Some
originated from right in the midst of the crack despair and
hoping to find some peace.
At the age of 29 I smoked crack. Playing guitar was not
on life’s list anymore. I pawned my one prize possession
in life…my 1958 double cut away Sunburst finish with
circle fret marks Gibson ES-330 or 335, I am not positive
which number exactly, but it was a dream guitar bought by
my parents for my 11th birthday from just a guy going to
Vietnam and was so sad to sell it. They bought it for $150.
I pawned it for the last time for $75, to smoke crack, and I
never was able to get it back.
And still more treatment. How many is enough? Why
can’t I stop smoking crack? Is it because of what I am told
as far as not following all the ‘treatment’ steps and
traditions and not making it work? Or is it because this
stuff called the “Devil’s Candy” is more than just an
addiction or just plain substance abuse? So what is it?
How do I stop?
I wish I had one word or one program or one sentence or
one example or one scripture or one anything that I could
say or tell that would stop the madness of smoking crack
cocaine.
The despair is so en-lodged in one’s spirit, it is only
unlocked by God’s grace and mercy. Here we find true
peace and can get all the defenses we will need to battle
an enemy willing to go to any length to contaminate your
soul, or run airplanes into towers filled with people.
What – To – Believe…….Who – To – Follow?
Just thinking of all the wasted time on smoking crack-
cocaine is staggering.
There does come a time when crack cocaine does not
dominate your entire mind. It could take some time to get
there.
When the family structure decays from crack, this is the
casting of the crew. You are being picked for a
performance. By destroying the family, our strength and
structure are seriously diminished. This allows the ‘candy’
to appear so sweet. The instant wow this is so intensely
good……and the race is now on.
Crack cocaine LOVES you…
Crack cocaine is sick…
Crack Cocaine is disgusting…
Crack cocaine is…
And EVERYONE TOGETHER…….
…….is pissin me off!
Hope you enjoyed this eBook Sampler!
All 4 PAPERBACK Books are available at this link:
http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/DVCministry
The 75 Day Paperback can be purchased by itself at this link:
http://www.lulu.com/shop/todd-gibson/how-to-stop-smoking-
crack-cocaine/paperback/product-23048067.html
All eBooks are at this link:
http://devilscandy.com/ebookprogram.html