Affection, Immediacy and Social Support

Chapter 6

Guerrero et al. use the term closeness throughout chapter 6.

Note that some scholars refer to closeness as intimacy. Intimacy refers to feelings of warmth, trust, and deep

caring in close relationships. Interaction plays a key role in creating and sustaining intimacy as well as closeness.

PhysicalTouching, close proximity, time together,

sexual closeness Emotional

Sharing, caring, and deep conversations Relational

Interdependence and overlap (self-expansion) Does a relationship need all three?

What if one form is not possible? e.g., Physical closeness and LDR

Three broad categories:Affectionate communicationImmediacy behaviorSocial support

Behavior that portrays feelings of fondness and positive regard to another.Signals potential increases in closeness

but when withdrawn can signal decreases in closeness

Paradox of affectionUsually positive, but sometimes it can

backfire.Examples??

Direct and verbal affectionate communication Doesn’t have the ambiguity of nonverbal messages I like you, I love you, I am in love with you Types: self-disclosure, direct emotional expression, compliments

& praise, assurances (relationship talk)

Direct and nonverbal affectionate communication Social meaning model of nonverbal communication

Can we tell when a hug or smile is not genuine? What are the social cues? Less ambiguous cues include:

Physical contact and distancingEye behaviorVocalic behavior (tone, rate, pitch)

Indirect and nonverbal affectionate communication Support behaviors

Emotional and instrumental Idiomatic behaviors

Behaviors move from scripted to idiomatic (meaning only known to couple)

Affection Exchange Theory (Floyd)Biologically adaptive behavior that aided early

survivalReproductive advantage

1. relationships provide resources, help, protection 2. displays of affection signal potential

mating/parenting skills 3. viability and fertility

Affection to children and larger family make them more likely to survive and reproduce

Displays own potential as sexual partner

Related to mental health People who receive affection are happier, more self-

confident, less stressed, more likely to engage in social activity, and better general mental health.

People who give affection are happier, have higher self-esteem, less fear of intimacy, less susceptibility to depression, and greater relationship satisfaction.

Related to physical health Hormones are produced that increase positive moods and

decrease blood pressure and blood sugar, and lower heart rate (study--kissing lead to healthier levels of cholesterol!)

Children think affection is limited and must compete for it—parents see it as unlimited.

Sexual and genetic bonds predict affection displays Biological children over step children More with spouses than siblings But siblings more than siblings-in-law.

Actions that signal warmth, communicate availability, decrease psychological or physical distance, and promote involvement between people. Also called, “positive involvement behaviors”

Immediacy refers to a style of communication that is relevant to a variety of interaction contexts (not just close relationships) e.g., ????

Verbal ImmediacyWord choiceForms of address

Formal to informal Public to idiosyncratic

Depth of disclosure Ironically, close relationships are the place where we can let down

the “smiley face” somewhat, but too much negative emotion disclosure can be a problem

Relationship indicatorsFriends, dating, hanging out, boyfriend-girlfriend,

partners

Nonverbal Immediacy A Gestalt—processed in Context Visual or Oculesic Behaviors

Eye contact and gaze Pupil dilation

Spatial or Proxemic Behaviors Intimate and personal distances Body angle

Tactile or Haptic Behaviors Touch helps escalate romantic relationships Hugs, kisses, and touches to the face are especially

affectionate and immediate

Body Movement or Kinesics Nodding Open and relaxed body positions Smiling Body synchrony

Vocalic Communication Animation in pitch, rate, amplitude, and duration Vocal warmth

Chronemic Behaviors Spending time together Waiting for someone and being on time

Behavior (A increases immediacy) Perception (Does B recognize the display?)

If no recognition, then no effect If yes, then B experiences arousal

Arousal Level (Experienced by B) Low arousal = no effect Moderate arousal activates cognitive schemata High arousal = fear, stress

Cognitive Schemata (Valencers) Cultural appropriateness Personal predispositions Interpersonal valence, rewardingness Relational appropriateness Situational appropriateness Psychological or physical state

+ valence for all 6 schemata = + relational outcomes

- valence for any of the 6 schemata = - relational outcomes

Positive Relational Outcomes Favorable appraisals of partner Reciprocity, increase immediacy toward partner Enhance relational growth, closeness

Negative Relational Outcomes Unfavorable appraisals of partner Compensation, reduction in immediacy toward partner Reduction in relational closeness, disengagement

Invisible SupportThrough caring actions (routine affectionate behaviors)

Keeps problem in backgroundPerson still feels capableBoth for practical and emotional support

Effective when responsive (communicates understanding, caring, and validation of partner)

High person-centered messages acknowledge and validate the feelings and concerns of the distressed personModerate person-centered messages

acknowledge the distressed person’s feelings, but do not help him/her contextualize or elaborate feelingsLow person-centered messages

implicitly or explicitly deny the legitimacy of the distressed person’s feelings.

To comfort a roommate after a breakup—(p. 145) Hugs 41.9% Close proxemic distance 40.9% Facial expression 38.7% Attentiveness 37.7% Touch 34.4% Pats 26.9% Eye contact 23.7%

Both men and women value intimate relationships, though men may be more socialized into task relationships (historically)

Men friends show intimacy primarily through shared interests and activities (agentic friendships)

Women friends show intimacy primarily through self-disclosure and intimate nonverbal communication (expressive friendships)

Men display more intimate communication with women than men. (Why?)

Overall, the differences between men and women small