Adjusting to Intimate Relationships Sharing Responsibilities Changing sex roles: more women work outside the home. men are expected to provide greater

Adjusting to Intimate RelationshipsAdjusting to Intimate Relationships

Sharing ResponsibilitiesSharing ResponsibilitiesChanging sex roles:• more women work outside the home.

• men are expected to provide greater emotional support, help with child-rearing.

• Studies report that when women work outside the home, they still do

more housework than men.• When men increase the amount of

housework they do, marital satisfaction for women improves.

Communication and ConflictCommunication and ConflictIssues that create conflict in intimate relationships:• in-laws• unrealistic expectations• child-rearing• lack of affection• sexuality• power struggles• communication• substance abuse• extramarital affairs• moneyCommunicating at the outset of a problem rather than

waiting can often prevent conflict escalation!

Adjusting to Intimate Relationships Adjusting to Intimate Relationships cont’d

Making the Relationship BetterMaking the Relationship Better• Emotion Focused TherapyEmotion Focused Therapy: A cognitive therapy

that provides a technique for changing basic thought and emotional patterns.

• GOAL: to help partners feel emotionally connected.

• The success rate is 70 to 75 percent, according to research.


Making the Relationship BetterMaking the Relationship Better• MediationMediation:: A neutral third party intervenes and

assists the couple in managing or resolving their disputes.

• GOAL: to help couples find mutually agreeable solutions to their problems.

• The success rate is 80 to 90 percent, according to research.

Divorce is not the only solution to marital discord!


SexualitySexuality• The longer couples live together, the less

frequently they have intercourse.• …but the more important the quality of the

sexual relationship becomes!• Most people express their desire for sexual

monogamy, but:– 20 to 50% of women and– 30 to 60% of menreport having engaged in extramarital sex.


Changes Over TimeChanges Over Time• AttributionAttribution–a search for the cause of our own

or another person’s behavior.• Happy couples make relationship-enhancing relationship-enhancing

attributionsattributions:– Positive event--“She is so thoughtful!”– Negative event--“She must be under a lot stress.”

• Unhappy couples make distress-enhancing distress-enhancing attributionsattributions:– Positive event--“He must be up to something!”– Negative event--“He always forgets.”


Divorce and Its ConsequencesDivorce and Its Consequences

DivorceDivorce–the legal dissolution of marriage.• The rate among Americans has doubled; one out of two

marriages….

The Divorce ExperienceThe Divorce Experience• … is almost always painful. • Partners breaking up a committed relationship also

experience the same pain.• The pain originates from emotional, legal, and social

issues.• Most people need 2 or 3 years to recover.

Single-Parent FamiliesSingle-Parent Families• Divorce takes a toll on children.• Age, mental health status, personality, gender,

and pre-existing relationships with parents affect a child’s adjustment.

• They may become depressed, resentful, or aggressive.

• Remarriage of a parent/introduction of a step-parent into a child’s life can also be stressful.

Divorce and Its Consequences Divorce and Its Consequences cont’d

Single-Parent FamiliesSingle-Parent Families• Children of single parents (typically single mothers) often

live in poverty.• The children may drop out of school, become pregnant,

or turn to illicit substances to help them cope.• Couples need to think carefully about commitment,

marriage, and divorce, when children are involved.


RemarriageRemarriage• Most divorced people remarry; in many

instances they marry another divorced person.

• Second marriages also tend to end in divorce….

• When two single parents marry each other and combine their families, they create blended families.

• Young children adjust better to stepparents than do adolescents.


Documents

Adjusting to Intimate Relationships Sharing Responsibilities Changing sex roles: more women work outside the home. men are expected to provide greater