20 IEEE TRANSACTIONS ON PROFESS IONAL COMMUNICATION , VO L. PC-27, NO. I , MA RCH 1984

Add Style to Your Technical WritingDANIEL L. PL UNG

Abstract- Technical writing need not be dry either by design ordefault. Without neglecting precision and concisene ss, language andphrasing can be used to assist rather than impede und erstanding.PUlling st yle in technical writing can be aided by awareness of the sede vices: alliteration , anaphora , antemetaboly, antithesis, clim ax,colon, epl strophe, metonymy, and simile. Examples of each are in­cluded.

TEC H N IC AL writ ing is typ icall y recognized fo r its de ­votion to preci sion, co ncise ness , and co ncre teness . Yet ,

the deli very and success of technical co mmunic atio n alsorequire th at each autho r de vel op a sty le . St yle is an ability touse language and phrasing to assis t ra ther than impede thereader' s e ffo rts to understand the information being co m­municated . Su ch a sty le for technical writing is accommo­dat ed by only one readability formula , the Orwell Writ ingSu ccess Number (OW SN; see the appe nd ix) [ I, 2] . In addi­t ion to e mphasizi ng the prec is ion and co ncise ness not ac­co unted fo r by othe r popular formulas , the OWSN is alsoth e o nly re adability formula that encourages the de velop­ment of a true sty le .

WHAT IS STYLE?

There is certainly no sho rtage of quotation s by great wr itersab out sty le. Fo r instance , co nsi de r Henry James' astuteremark th at ·· It is by sty le th at we are saved ." Or thecom me nt by E. B . Wh ite that styl e is " the so und wo rdsmak e o n pap er. " How e ver , e nlisti ng those autho rs asspokesme n fo r the cause of impro vin g technical writingm ight see m too stra ine d for the ske ptica l author wh o hasbeen repeat edly adv ised to s tress o bjec tiv ity and impart i­a li ty a nd who se nses intuitive ly tha t he sho uld not embe llishtech nical w isdom w ith fan c iful wo rds and phrases. Rath er,it see ms o bvi o us when o ne co ns ide rs the pauc ity of informa­tion on sty le provided by most texts on techn ical wr iting thatsuc h di scourse has no use fo r sty le.

Yet , th at ass umptio n is defin itel y incorrect. It is that mis­taken infe re nce th at orig inall y led to techn ical writi ng 'sunwarranted rel ian ce o n fir st- gen eration readability formu­la s suc h as th e Fog Ind e x. And the Fog Ind e x has been thew illing godpa re nt of a subse q ue nt ge ne ration of read abil ityformulas- compute rized ed itors that input good writing ando utput lifel ess , tediou s pros e .

Reprinted with permission from Hydrocarbon Processing. May1983. vol. 62(5), pp . 123-135 ; copyrig ht 1983 by Gulf PublishingCompany , Houston, Texas .

The author is technica l ed itor for Exx on Nuclea r Idaho Co ., lnc. ,P. O. Box 2800 , Idaho Falls, ID 83401 ; (208) 526 -3084 .

Consider the fo llo w ing revisi on of Lincoln ' s Gett ysburgAddress produced by Bell Lab oratori es ' co mpute rized sys­tem [3] :

Eighty -seven years ago , our grandfathers created a free na­tion here . They based it on the idea that everybody is createdequal. We are now fighting a civi l war to see if this nation orany similar nation can survive . On this battlefield we arededicat ing a cemetery to those who died for their country. Itis only right. But in another sense , the task is impossible,because brave men , living and dead, dedicated the placebetter than we can. Hardly anyone will notice or rememberwhat we say here, but nobody can forget what those mendid. We should continue the work they began , and make surethey did not die in vain. With God 's help , we will havefreedom again, so that the people' s government will endure.

TOWARD BETTER STYLE

Nonetheless , thi s view th at technical wr it ing mu st be boringto be good is not held by all authors of technical literature.Rather , one of the most e loq ue nt sta te me nts abo ut the needfo r true s ty le in technical communication was offered morethan 30 years ago by Dr. J . Robert Oppenhe imer , the re­no wned American ph ysic ist [4] :

"Maybe you sho uld explain to him what you meant by developingstyle."

STYLE TO YOUR TECHNICAL WRITING

The problem of doing justice to the implicit, the imponder­able, and the unknown is, of course, not unique to politics. Itis always with us in science, it is with us in the most trivialof personal affairs, and it is one of the great problems ofwriting and ·of all forms of art. The means by which it issolved is sometimes called style. It is style which comple­ments affirmation with limitation and with humility; it isstyle which makes it possible to act effectively, but notabsolutely; it is style which, in the domain of foreign policy,enables us to find a harmony between the pursuit of endsessential to us and the regard for the views, the sensibilities,the aspirations of those to whom the problem may appear inanother light; it is style which is the deference that actionpays to uncertainty; it is above all style through which powerdefers to reason.

This same conclusion about the need for a broader appreci­ation and application of style in technical writing was alsonoted by other scientists. For example ,in a recent bookabout language, V. V. Nalimov, a Russian mathematicianand information scientist, had these thoughts about styleand technical writing [5]:

The transmission of thought is carried out on a logical level ,but its perception is greatly influenced by some psychologi­cal factors which are not entirely understood. An idea isperceived more readily if it is shocking and requires anintellectual effort. A good scientific paper ought to (requirethis intellectual effort) . .. . Use of the metaphorical struc­ture of language is only one of the techniques used to createintellectual strain.

We can infer from the representative selections more pre­cisely what technical writing style should be:

I. It is writing that displays a literary quality.2. It is writing that uses the best words, expressions, and

phrases to communicate.3. It is writing that takes advantage of all devices or tech­

niques that can enliven the prose without interfering withthe communication of a precise, concise message.

And we should be able to recognize that this is the definitionof writing Orwell is promoting when he advises us to choosethe best terms and voice, and when he advises us to avoidthe" "barbarous." When trying to define more particularlywhat we are to "avoid." according to Orwell's injunction,we might consider what one philosopher noted: · "Subjectwithout style is barbarism" (6].

CREATING STYLE

Therefore, we need to know what devices or techniques wecan use to add this element of style to our writing. Accord­ingly, I offer the following primer of ten stylistic devices.

For each device I supply only a definition and an example ortwo of its use. Extensive detail is not warranted since theexamples clearly suggest the strength and potential applica­tion of each device. Further, I have principally selected

21

examples from political speeches; my reason for selectingpolitical rather than scientific examples is simple: They willbe more readily recognized and remembered than scientificquotations. Yet, to demonstrate the devices' use in a scien­tific text, I also include a summary of a recent article fromScientific American (7] in which all ten devices are incor­porated (see box).

Only when discussing metaphors do I give a more detailedanalysis; this device warrants more coverage because the

Summary of "Highly Excited Atoms"

The test tube has provided many significant break­throughs in the chemical sciences (metonymy). * Inatomic physics, advances have been due in great partto Niels Bohr's hydrogen theory and to quantum phys­ics. Now a new field of study has emerged: Rydbergatoms. "It is the physics of atoms in which an electron isexcited to an exceptionally high energy level" (allitera-tion).

"Rydberg atoms have been detected whose diameterapproaches a hundredth of a millimeter .. ~ . The Ryd­berg atoms are so large that they can engulf otheratoms. Rydberg atoms are also remarkably long-lived"(anaphora). A particular difference between Rydbergand other atoms is their responses to electric and mag­netic fields. "Ordinary atoms are scarcely affected byan applied electric field or magnetic field; Rydbergatoms can be squeezed into unexpected shapes by amagnetic field" (epistrophe).

"Rydberg atoms are like hydrogen in their essentialproperties" (simile). And "according to the Bohr theory,the hydrogen atom is a solar system in microcosm"(metaphor). However, quantum physics needed to re­fine this model; "Bohr's simple model accounted for themost conspicuous features of the spectrum of hydro­gen, but this model incorporated such a jumble of tradi­tional concepts and radical ideas that it could not begeneralized or refined" (antithesis).

Using this refined model, Rydberg atoms, particularlythose of alkali metals, were investigated. "These ele­ments are commonly chosen because they are easilyturned into a gas, because their spectral absorptionlines are at wavelengths conveniently generated bylaser light and because they absorb light efficiently"(colon). Once produced, these atoms were studied inelectric and magnetic fields.

In electric fields, the atoms' hydrogen-like qualitieswere evaluated, their degrees of degeneracy ex­amined, and ultimately their resultant Stark effectsanalyzed (climax). This allowed successful definition ofthe relationship between experimental conditions andthe specific shape assumed by the Rydberg atom in anelectric field. Yet, attempts to define the electron's mo­tion in a magnetic field were not as successful. Thoughsignificant progress was made, a complete explanationof our data is lacking. But, efforts continue. For, as wecontinue to excite these electrons, so these electronscontinue to excite us (antemetaboly).

* Devices used are identified in parentheses followingtheir use; quotation marks identify examples of devicestaken verbatim from the original article [7].

22 IEEE TRANSACTIONS ON PROFESSIONAL COMMUNICATION, VOL. PC-27, NO.1, MARCH 1984

use of metaphors is as common in scientific writing as inany other form of expository prose-although its use maynot be understood as thoroughly by authors of technicalliterature. The discussion of metaphors is therefore a rea­sonable place to begin my review of these stylistic devices:It illustrates the literary heritage technical writing shareswith all other types of writing.

MetaphorA metaphor is an implied comparison of dissimilar things;words of explicit comparison, such as "Iike" and Has," areomitted. Metaphors are quite common in technical writing.For instance, consider the following metaphors, based onthe shapes of letters of the alphabet [8]:

A frameC clampDringF head engineH beam (structural engineering)I beam (structural engineering)J stroke (canoe paddling)L head engine, pipe el (overlapping elbow)N strut (interwing strut on biplanes)o ringP trapS curveT boltU boltV block, groove, braceX braceY pipeZ section, cut.

In the book quoted previously [5], the use of metaphor inscientific discourse is lucidly explained by V. V. Nalimov:

If reading a scientific text, we stop for a moment and ponderthe character of terms in our field of vision, we shall findthat they are metaphorical. We have become so used tometaphors in our scientific language that we do not evennotice it. We keep coming across such word combinations as"course of time," "the field of force," Htemperaturefield," ""the logic of experiment," ""the memory of a com­puter, " which allow us to express new notions with the helpof rather unusual combinations of old, well-known, andfamiliar expressions. Recognizing the right of metaphors toexistence in scientific language, scientists have permittedrather different senses for old terms with the emergence ofthese new theoretical conceptions. In science, theories arecontinuously changing, but the change does not cause awaterfall of new words. The new phenomena are interpretedthrough the old, familiar ones, through the old words forwhich the prior distribution function of meaning is slightly,but continuously, changed. Something remains unchangedbut becomes of less importance, something new appears,entirely different from, and to a certain extent contradictoryto, the former meaning of the word.

Here, in addition to the scientific metaphors already noted,

are two examples of how politicians used metaphors:

1. Adlai Stevenson: "The anatomy of patriotism is com­plex, "

2. Lyndon Johnson: "This is what America is all about.It is the uncrossed desert and the unclaimed ridge. It is thestar that is not reached and the harvest sleeping in theunplowed ground. "

Simile

A simile is an explicit comparison of dissimilar things inwhich such words as ld like" and "" as" are used:

1. Thomas Paine: "Until an independence is declared,the Continuent will feel itself like a man who continuesputting off some unpleasant business from day to day, yetknows it must be done. "

2. Abraham Lincoln: ~ ~ Sending men to McClellan'sarmy is like shoveling fleas across a barnyard-they don'tget there. ' ,

Anaphora

Anaphora is the repetition of the same word, or group ofwords, at the beginning of successive clauses:

I. Winston Churchill: ldWe shall fight on the beaches,we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in thefields and in the street, we shall fight in the hills."

2. Martin Luther King: "Let freedom ring from themighty mountains of New York. Let freedom ring from theheightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania. Let freedom ringfrom the snow-capped Rockies of Colorado. "

Epistrophe

Epistrophe is the repetition of the same word, or group ofwords, at the end of successive clauses:

1. Abraham Lincoln: "" ... and that government of thepeople, by the people, for the people, shall not perish fromthe earth. ' ,

2. Martin Luther King: "With this faith we will be ableto work together, to pray together, to struggle together, togo to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, know­ing that we will be free one day. ' ,

Alliteration

Alliteration is the repetition of the initial sounds of words:

1. Winston Churchill: "The Battle of France is over. Iexpect the Battle of Britain is about to begin. ' ,

2. Spiro T. Agnew: "Hysterical hypochondriacs of his­tory," ~ 'nattering nabobs of negativism," ~ "troubadours oftrouble. "

Colons

Colons are the division of an idea into equal grammaticalparts, done in successive clauses, to impart a rhythm to thesequence:

STYLE TO YOUR TECHNICAL WRITING

1. Charles Dickens: HIt was the best of times, it was theworst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age offoolishness, it was the epoch of belief, .... "

2. Abraham Lincoln: U ... that from these honored deadwe take increased devotion to that cause for which they gavethe last full measure of devotion; that we here highly resolvethat these dead shall not have died in vain; that this nation,under God, shall have a new birth of freedom; and thatgovernment of the people, by the people, for the people,shall not perish from the earth. " (In this quotation, there isa quadracolon-clauses beginning with the word Uthat"­and a tricolon- ....of the people, by the people, for thepeople. ")

AntithesisAntithesis is the contrast of ideas by means of parallelarrangements of words or groups of words:

1. John F. Kennedy: UWe observe today not a victory ofparty, but a celebration of freedom-symbolizing an end, aswell as a beginning-signifying renewal, as well aschange. "

2. Abraham Lincoln: "The brave men, living and dead,who struggled here, have consecrated it far above our poorpower to add or detract. "

ClimaxClimax is the arrangement of words, or groups of words,according to their increasing value or strength:

1. Julius Caesar: HI came, I saw, I conquered."2. John F. Kennedy: HAll this will not be finished in the

first 100 days. Nor will it be finished in the first 1,000 days,nor in the life of this administration, nor even perhaps in ourlifetime on this planet. But let us begin."

AntemetabolyAntemetaboly is the repetition of words in successiveclauses, but in reverse order:

1. Thomas Paine: .. "For as in absolute governments theKing is law, so in free countries the law ought to be King. "

2. John F. Kennedy: "Mankind must put an end to war­or war will put an end to mankind. " "Let us never negotiateout of fear. But let us never fear to negotiate." "" And so,my fellow Americans, ask not what your country can do foryou: Ask what you can do for your country. "

MetonymyMetonymy is when a word or image associated with a largeridea or concept is made to serve for the expression of thatidea:

1. Press Release: "The White House (used here to serveas substitute for the President or the Executive Branch ofgovernment) said today that a formal statement would beissued later this week."

2. Richard Nixon: HIn Europe, we gave the cold

23

shoulder to DeGaulle, and now he gives the warm hand toMao Tse-tung. "

3. John F. Kennedy: HTo those peoples in the huts andvillages across the globe struggling to break the bonds ofmass misery, we pledge our best efforts to help them helpthemselves, for whatever period is required."

USING STYLE

The first step in animating writing is developing an under­standing and knowledge of these techniques. The secondstep, which is of equal importance, is using them judi­ciously. This step can be divided into two seemingly con­tradictory components, caution and practice. Caution isnecessary to ensure their use is judicious, not whimsical orimproper. Improper use produces a turgid style and detractsfrom any professional communication.

CautionA few commonsense guidelines are in order:

1. Make certain the dev ice and its use are appropriate to thesubject, purpose, and audience.

2. Don't use greatly exaggerated devices that call attentionto themselves; subtly interweave them into the fabric ofyour material. If in doubt about whether something is tooexaggerated, leave it out.

3. Don't overuse the devices. Effectiveness is not measuredby how many devices you use or how many times youuse them. It is better to have only a few than to clutteryour communication.

4. Although the poetic requirement of freshness is not es­sential, avoid using devices that are overworked, com­monplace, or cliche.

These simple cautions should allow you to make effectiveuse of the devices while also focusing on your foremostresponsibility: the presentation of an accurate, precise, andconcise message. You must remember that the literary meritmust function as a support to-not a substitute for-theoverall clarity, reasoning, organization, and straightfor­ward presentation of your information.

Practice

Now, with these cautions in mind, let us briefly examine theother facet of this second step: practice. As all the greatwriters and speakers have known, literary ability must bedeveloped; the art must be practiced. This is something thewriters and speakers quoted in this essay knew well.Thomas Paine said, ""Fit the powers of thinking and the turnof language to fit the subject, so as to bring out a clearconclusion that shall hit the point in question and nothingelse. " Similarly, Sir Winston Churchill stated, "There isno more important element in the technique of rhetoric thanthe continual employment of the best possible word."

This concern for language and the diligence with whichthese men practiced their art paid off. Thomas Paine's pam-

24 IEEE TRANSACTIONS ON PROFESSIONAL COMMUNICATION, VOL. PC-27, NO.1, MARCH 1984

phlet ~ 'Common Sense" became the most discussed mate­rial in America prior to the Revolution. Winston Churchillwas awarded the 1953 Nobel Prize in Literature for his~ ·historical and biographical presentations and for his scin­tillating oratory. "

The Kennedy Speech

Yet, surely the best-known quotations in this essay are thosetaken from John F. Kennedy's inaugural address. Kennedyis a prime example of the tangible results of diligent practiceand study, as his inaugural address attests. Prior to draftingthis speech, Kennedy reviewed all the previous Presidentialinaugural addresses to uncover their stylistic strengths; healso requested his special counsel, Theodore Sorensen, "rostudy the secret of Lincoln's Gettysburg Address." ThatKennedy learned the Hsecret" is evident from the manystylistic points the two speeches have in common. Kennedyalso assiduously reworked his manuscript. For example, hisfamous sentences ~ ~ Ask not . .. " were revised and testednumerous times; they were reworked from speeches de­livered on September 5 and September 20 and were againrevised the morning of the inauguration.

As a result of Kennedy's commitment to this writing, hisinaugural address (whose length, coincidentally, was ap­proximately that of the average conference paper, 14 min­utes) was praised both for its substance and its language:.. distinguished for its style and brevity as well as for itsmeaty content. "

This compliment from The New York Times is the type towhich all communicators should aspire. It recognizes thatthe author has dutifully observed the primary mission-toimpart information; but it also credits the author's abilitywith language and desire to communicate in a manner thatelevates as well as enlightens.

APPENDIX: THE ORWELL WRITING SUCCESSNUMBER (OWSN)

The Orwell Writing Success Number system [1] is predi­cated on the six writing principles discussed by GeorgeOrwell in his essay ··Politics and the English Language"[2]. He neatly summarized the questions the Hscrupulous"writer should ask:

1. What am I trying to say?2. What words will express it?

3. What image or idiom will make it clearer?4. Is the image fresh enough to have an effect?5. Could I put it more succinctly?6. Have I said anything that is avoidably ugly?

These questions he then developed into six rules-rules thatserve as the cornerstone of the OWSN system:

1. Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speechthat you are used to seeing in print.

2. Never use a long word where a short word will do.3. If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.4. Never use the passive where you can use the active.5. Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word, or a jargon

word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent.6. Break any of these rules sooner than say anything out­

right barbarous.

In the OWSN, these rules are weighted in terms of theircontribution to sound technical writing and then coupledwith a component called the · ~ Superfluity Ratio": the num­ber of words used divided by the number of words necessaryto communicate the thought. With these principles in mind,the reader can evaluate and thereby improve his technicalwriting.

This system differs markedly from the popular readabilityformulas such as Robert Gunning's Fog Index and RudolfFlesch's Reading Ease Score: (1) It is designed specificallyfor evaluating technical writing. (2) It accounts for the valueof conciseness and precision. (3) It recognizes the need fortechnical terminology. (4) It allows each author to develop aH sty le " of writing.

REFERENCES1. Plung, D. L. "Evaluate Your Technical Writing." Hydrocarbon

Processing. July 1981; 60(7):195-212.2. Orwell, G. "Politics and the English Language." In Shooting an

Elephant and Other Stories. London: Seeker and Warburg; 1950.3. Angier, N. "Bell's Lettres." Discover. July 1981; 2(7):78-79.4. Oppenheimer, J. R. "The Open Mind." Bulletin of the Atomic Sci­

entists. January 1949; 5(1 ):3-5.5. Nalimov, V. V. In the Labyrinths of Language: A Mathematician's

Journey. R. G. Colodny, Ed. Philadelphia: lSI Press; 1981.6. Quoted in Kasher, Asa. "Style! Why Bother?" In Scientific Informa­

tion Transfer: The Editor's Role. Miriam Balaban, Ed. Boston: D.Reidel; 1978:299-301.

7. Kleppner, D.; Littman, M. G.; Zimmerman, M. L. "Highly ExcitedAtoms. " Scientific American. May 1981; 244(5): 130-149.

8. Harris, J. S. "Metaphor in Technical Writing." The Technical Writ­ing Teacher. Winter 1975; 2(2):9-13.