ActiveListening TrainersGuide ENG

7/24/2019 ActiveListening TrainersGuide ENG

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Active ListeningThe secret of great communicators!

TRAINERS GUIDE

Course designed by:

Kai Roer, ITF 132 (JCI Norway)Address & other information

To be found on http://www.kairoer.com


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Credits:

MentorbokaBy Thor Erik Gulliksen` - http://www.mentorblogg.com

Active Listening, a communication tool

By Daniel F. Perkins & Kate Fogarty - http://edis.ifas.ufl.edu/he361

Active Listening Study guide

http://www.studygs.net/listening.htm

Chinese signs

http://blog.nciku.com/blog/en/

Smart Questions: The Essential Strategyfor Successful Managers

By Dorothee Leeds (ISBN-13: 978-0425176597)

Preparation in advance!

Prepare the room, set up the presenter (beamer/projector).Have enough copies of the participants manual.

All preparations are approximately. 1 hour.

Activities: Red boldHeading: Blue boldImportant Points: Black boldInstructions to trainer: normal textText the trainer should speak out: italic text

Preparations Work for the trainer(s) before the course:1. Study the trainers manual and the participants manual.2. Familiarize yourself with the slides and the other visual

aids used.3. Prepare one Flipchart with the text: Active Listening, and

draw a nice boarder around it. Leave this visible as theparticipants arrive.

Prepare the room chairs (no table) set up in a U-shape. Nomore chairs than there are participants.

Prepare a set of Participants manuals one per participant.

Prepare a set of Feedback forms, and pens.

This training requires a relaxed atmosphere, where trust andcomfort is created between the participants, and the trainers.


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Course OutlineActive ListeningThe secret of great communicators!

SUMMARY Communication is key. We all focus on telling our own story, and we focus so harddoing that one thing that we forget to listen to what the other part has to say. Andwe miss the target with our message more often than we hit.

By using active listening in your conversations, not only wil l you be able tounderstand the other part better, you will also be able to adopt and adjust yourown message to better hit a home run when you start talking. No matter if you areselling something, talking with your wife or kids, managing a team or looking forsponsors for your next JCI event applying active listening will get you the resultsyou want.

OBJECTIVES At the end of the course, the participants will;

understand what active listening is

be able to apply active listening principles in your conversations

MAIN POINTS 1. Introduction

2. Active listening principles

3. What affects listening

4. Powerful questions?

5. Summary

LENGTH Three hour training: Minimum time required: 120 min, maximum time needed: 180min

PARTICIPANTS Minimum required: 6 maximum allowed: 60

EQUIPMENT 1. LCD projector (beamer)

2. Flip charts

3. Filter pens, three colors.

4. Notepaper and pens for each participant

5. Computer / Laptop

MATERIALS 1. Participants Handout

2. PowerPoint slides

3. Trainers Guide

ROOM LAYOUT Chairs in a U shape. No tables.

Space enough to allow for participants to form groups of two, with chairs.


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Time, Slides and Materials Notes for the Trainer

Course Opening [5 Minutes]

Welcome the participants. Thank the organizing committee and anyhonorable members present.

Introduce yourself your name, your Trainers status, your NOM/LOM, andstate the topic of the training.

Hi and welcome to this training about Active l istening learn the secrets ofefficient communication.

My name is:

I am a JCI Trainer (CLT/CNT/IG/ITF) in NOM. My local chapter is LOM.

I am very glad that you all made it here to day, and I hope you will enjoy thistraining about Active Listening as well as I will.

This training will explain what active listening is, and how you can use activelistening to increase your communication skills to the next level.

The purpose of the training is to give you insights to help you increase yourlevel of communication, and to develop your interest in active listening.

Course Objectives [5 minutes]

This training will teach you to apply active listening in your life at work, inyour family, with friends.

Active listening will increase your awareness to communication and greatlydevelop your abilities and skills of understanding others.

Most importantly, this training will enable you to start practicing your activelistening skills immediately.

This training will not make you an expert, but is designed to develop yourinterest in, and to inspire you to learn more about active listening.

Expectations

We all have some expectations for this training. I expect you to be

open minded

actively participating

focusing on the task at hand

trying your best

By acting like this, we all will get the most of this training, and we will becreating a learning environment where all of us will gain the most possible.


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Part one Active listening Principles (20 minutes)

Let us take a look at module one the active listening principles!

Exercise [8 minutes]

The purpose of the exercise is:

1: demonstrate how hard it is for the l istener to only listen, not make anyfeedback, sounds or questions; and

2: demonstrate that listening is a skill that can be learned and trained.

Instructions:

Form groups of two, (if there is un-even number of participants, the one thatis left over will join as observer in one other group.) one will listen, one willtalk. The talker will choose one of the topics:

Most memorable experience

Best/worse job

Best/worse Travel experience,

My most embarrassing moment

T: The listener shall say nothing; make no sound what so ever, only focus onthe message.

At the end of the exercise, facilitate a discussion, asking these kinds ofquestions:

How was this experience?

Did you get the story?

How was it to not be allowed to talk? Did you notice the body language?

How was the tone of voice?

How was it to talk without getting feedback from the listener?

Round up the exercise by stating:

T: Active, effective listening is a habit, as well as the foundation of effectivecommunication. Only by paying attention to all the small details in ourcommunication, will there be efficient communication.

Chinese Listen [1 minute]

T: Before we go into the details, I will teach you some Chinese.

(show first sign)

This is the Chinese sign for ears:(Show second sign)

This is the sign for eyes,(Show third sign)

And here is the sign for the heart.

Show next slide, where the signs are combined into the Chinese Listen sign.


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T: When we combine these characters, they make the Chinese wordListening.

The Chinese word for listening also includes full attention, or to pay full

attention to the one you are listening to.

And listening with your heart, ear and eyes is what active listening is allabout.

Pay attention to the full message [4 minutes]

T: Active listening intentionally focuses on who you are communicating with,whether in a group or one-to-one, in order to understand what he or she issaying.

As the listener, you should then be able to repeat back in your own wordswhat they have said, to their satisfaction.

This does not mean you agree with, but rather understand, what they aresaying.

Discussion

The purpose of this discussion is to look at how body language, words, thetone of voice and the mental state of both listener and speaker make animpact on the message. The objective is to clearly show that how you act both on the listening side, and on the talking side, is part of the full messagethat is decoded.

Discuss the impact of the full message with the participants.

Make sure to cover all major areas below:

Words (selection of words used)o How can the use of words affect the message?o Think of words with several meanings, semantics and lack of

proficiency of the language spoken

Body language (relaxed, tense, calm, nervous)o How can body language influence the message? Examples?

Tone of voice (low, high, quick, slow)o How does the tone of voice influence the message? Examples?

Mental state (anger, happy, sad, distressed, afraid)o How can the mental state impact the communication?

You should prepare some samples of each area, preferably based upon yourown experience. Examples may be:

Words: consider a nuclear scientist discussing his work with a colleague.What are the chances you will be able to understand, unless you are alsoa nuclear scientist?

Body Language: imagine a child asking for candy. Notice how she nodsher head while asking Can I have some candy, please?


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Tone of voice: Imagine how screaming a Yes or a No impacts themessage, how it differs from the yes or no of lovers.

Mental state: Consider the different way you communicate with someone if

you are late, tired and stressed out, compared to having no rush and beingin full control of the situation.


It is time to practice what we have learned. Please instruct the participants touse the same pairs, and to put their chairs together so that the front left leg ofone chair touches the front leg of the other so the participants are facingtowards each other, with their legs and body to the left of the other.

T: The reason we choose to sit like this is to enable you to sit close, withoutbeing in each others personal space. As a bonus, you are now able to seethe whole body of the other party, enabling you to read the full message.

Instructions:

There will be one listener, and one talker in each group. This time, thelistener is allowed to interact, mimicking and asking questions, as well asmaking comments.

T: The most important is to pay attention to the body language (how does itenforce the message?), the tone of voice (does it change as the story goeson?), the words used (are they adapted to the level of the listener and thestory?) and the mental state of the talker (this room may be disturbing,causing stress).

After ten minutes, the roles will be changed. (NOTE TO TRAINER: You needto time this, and tell them when to change).

The groups are free to talk about anything. The purpose of this exercise is tolet the participants experience by them selves how important it is to pay fullattention to the talker, and to show that we do this unconsciously all the time.The idea is to become aware of how we read other people, and start tounderstand how this enhances the message.

When the exercise is over, facilitate a group discussion where you focus ontheir learning experience. Let the participants share their knowledge, look foracknowledgements from other participants (they will nod, smile or raise theirhands too), and ask them to contribute to the sharing too.

Remember to thank each participant for sharing, as this increases thelikelihood of others to share too.

Use questions like:

How was this exercise compared to the first one?

What made it harder / easier?

In what way did the body language enhance the message?

How did the tone of voice change during the exercise?

What could have been different? What would you have changed if youcould? (Expect someone to say location as the training room usuallycan be quite noisy during this exercise!)


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Part two What affects listening?

T: So far, we have been looking at how the talker and the listenerthemselves are affecting the message and communication.

We are now moving on to look at the surroundings, and how they affectlistening.

What affects listening [5 minutes]

This part of the course looks at how external factors affect the listening andcommunication. Please use your own examples to illustrate each area.

It is important that the l istener understands how each one of these areasaffects the message.

T: The active listener is challenged by four main areas when trying to copewith the message. The four areas are:

Subject complexity

The complexity affects the communication if the topic is easy tounderstand, and all parties know it, the communication is easy. If onepart is an expert in nuclear power stations, and try to explain how poweris generated to someone with no knowledge at all, the task may be verydifficult indeed.

The speaker

The speaker himself affects the listener. Language, cultural background,interest, personality will all influence how the message is received.

Environment

The environment where the communication is taking place is vital too. Aromantic talk can be a challenge to conduct in a disco

The presentation

How the speaker chooses to present the message is also vital to thelistener. If the topic is complex, and the speaker does not use any visualaids, it can be hard to get the full message.

Discussion

The purpose of this discussion is to show what influences the message

both from the sender side, and during the transmission. It is important tocover how all four elements impact the message.

As an active listener, it is vital to understand how a message is influenced.

Ask participants for examples from each of the four areas that affect theactive listener.

The trainer should also prepare at least two examples from each area, incase the participants are not ready to share their own examples at this point.


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The five levels of listening [4 minutes]

T: Another vital area of listening is the levels of listening. Most of us use allthese levels on a daily basis, and mainly levels 1 through 4.

Again, prepare examples!

1. Level one is total ignorance this is what happens when the listenerpays no attention at all.

2. Level two is pretending to listen. You see this level when you try todiscuss with someone who is in front of their computer, and they respondwith hum and yes without even looking up from the screen, and theydo not respond to your control questions.

3. Level three is when the listener only listens for whatever is on his/hermind, and focus is only to listen for those keywords, and disregards therest.

4. Level four is when you make up your mind about what is going to be saidduring the first few seconds of the speech, and then plan your ownresponse. Most of us commit this crime daily.

5. Level five is when you listen to what is being communicated, and waituntil all parts of the messages are digested before you start with yourresponse, taking all parts of the message into account.

Discuss the 5 levels of listening, and use examples.

The purpose of this discussion is to briefly cover how people listen. Most ofus listen on the first four levels only, while the active listener is on level five.

Pose these questions to the group:

When will you experience ignorance in a conversation?

Have you ever pretended to listen?

When do we apply selective listening?

How do we act when we listen only to respond?

Remember that the ultimate target is Level 5 - listen to understand.

Focus on the message, and the person.


It is time to practice what we have learned. Please instruct the participants touse the same pairs, and to put their chairs together so that the front left leg of

one chair touches the front leg of the other so the participants are facingtowards each other, with their legs and body to the left of the other.

PURPOSE: The purpose of this exercise is 1. to practice what is learned, and2. to enhance the learning of the theory by experience.

Instructions:



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T: Again, pay attention to the body language, words, tone of voice and mentalstate, and focus on the listening levels. Please also consider theenvironment, the speaker, the presentation and the subject complexity.




Remember to thank each participant for sharing, as this increases thelikelihood of others to share too.

Use questions like:

How was this exercise compared to the second one?


In what way did the body language enhance the message?

What level of listening did you maintain?

How did the subject complexity / presentation / speaker / environmentinterfere with the message during the exercise?

Part three How to get better answers?

T:Sometimes, you need to help the talker to focus on the important parts ofthe message. You may have the need to get clarifications, more details, orparts of the story more elaborated.

There are many techniques to be used to make the talker more comfortableand to help her tell her story in a way where you understand. Of course,paying full attention is one thing. In addition, using questions correctly greatlyenhances the communication.

This module covers powerful question techniques.

Powerful questions closed vs. open questions

PURPOSE:

Questions are important in order to find out more about a topic, and to reallyunderstand what is being said.

T: Using powerful questions will help you to understanding the full message.

Open questions shows your interest in the topic, as well as it enables thetalker to tell his/her own story, with his/her own words. .

Let us take a look at Open vs. Closed questions.


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There are two definitions that are used to describe closed questions. Acommon definition is:

A closed question can be answered with either a single word or a short

phrase.

Thus 'How old are you?' and 'Where do you live?' are closed questions. Amore limiting definition is:

A closed question can be answered with either 'yes' or 'no'.

Using closed questions

Closed questions have the following characteristics:

They give you facts.

They are easy to answer.

They are quick to answer.

They keep control of the conversation with the questioner.

Open Questions

An open question can be defined as:

An open question is likely to receive a long answer.

Although any question can receive a long answer, open questionsdeliberately seek longer answers, and are the opposite of closed questions.

Using open questions

Open questions have the following characteristics:

They ask the respondent to think and reflect.

They will give you opinions and feelings.

They hand control of the conversation to the respondent.

Powerful questions: Leading vs. Neutral questions

One way of influencing a person is to ask them questions that aredeliberately designed to make them think in a certain way. Leading questionsinclude the answer; point the listener in the right direction; or include someform or carrot or stick to send them to the 'right' answer.

Note that not only the words can lead the question, you can also lead peopleby your body Language and voice tone effects such as emphasis.

Leading questions are often directional in that, whilst they may not indicatean answer, they close off undesirable alternatives and guide the person in adesired direction.

Explain the difference of leading questions and Neutral questions. Make surethe audience realizes that they are supposed to use Neutral questions asmuch as possible.

Attention:Using WHY in questions may result in the other party feeling guiltand become uneasy. Thus, advice the audience to avoid using WHY


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questions unless they are really necessary. It is usually a better idea torewrite the questions into an open, neutral question.

Summary: Reaching the 5th

level of listening [1 minute]

T: How can you reach the 5thlevel of listening?

A few simple steps will take you there:

1. Ask questions, and use effective questioning techniques like openquestions

2. Be active focus on the other part, and listen to the full message

3. Retell the story using your own words

And of course, practice practice practice!


It is time to practice what we have learned. Please instruct the participants touse NEW pairs, and to put their chairs together so that the front left leg of onechair touches the front leg of the other so the participants are facingtowards each other, with their legs and body to the left of the other.

PURPOSE: The purpose of this exercise is 1. to practice what is learned, and2. to enhance the learning of the theory by experience.

The reason we change pairs is to practice everything we have learned, with aperson we do not know much about. This forces us to focus more.

Instructions: There will be NEW PAIRS in this exercise. Suggest that the

participants find a new partner that they do not know previously, or if theyknow everyone, someone they speak to the least.


T: Again, pay attention to the body language, words, tone of voice and mentalstate, and focus on the listening levels. Please also consider theenvironment, the speaker, the presentation and the subject complexity.

This time, the listener will apply powerful questions in the conversation, tolearn the full message. Also apply restating the message and other aids yourfind useful. Remember that the purpose is to practice your active listeningskills, so you can become a better communicator.




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Remember to thank each participant for sharing, as this increases thelikelihood of others to share too. Use questions like:

How was this exercise compared to the previous ones?

What made it different?


In what way did the powerful questions enhance the message?

What level of listening did you maintain this time?

How did the subject complexity / presentation / speaker / environmentinterfere with the message during the exercise?

Summary[5 minutes]

T: This training is now almost at its end. Let us quickly review what wehave covered today!

T: In this training we have learned that active listening is about full attentionand focus.

Only by using active listening can we really understand what the other partyis saying.

The Chinese have known this for centuries, thus their word l istening is madeby Ear, Eye and Heart.

Use open and neutral questions; listen to the other party, including tone ofvoice, body language, the situation and environment.

Be non-judgmental and have an open mind.

Restate the message in your own words to control that what you hear is whatthe other is actually saying.

Practice! Only practicing makes master! You can do this in many differentsettings:

o Familyo Saleso Leadero Friendso Networking

Thank you all very much!

Make sure to thank the participants for attending, the organizing committeefor setting up the training, and any VIPs that are present.

Documents

ActiveListening TrainersGuide ENG