A Veteran Family

The Challenges of the Student –A Military Family Member

A Veteran Family

• Mom or Dad (daughter/son)

in uniform

• Both Mom and Dad in uniform

• Mom or Dad is Veteran Widow

and remain diligent to their role and tasks.

This cycle applies to both the military member and their family members.

Pre-deployment/departure

- “Sitting on ready”- Legal actions - Anticipation- Fear/Worry- Uncertainty- Communication- Finances

Deployment/Redeployment - Adjust to life without the veteran- Set up regular communication plan with veteran

from all family members- Build family/friend support channel- Maintain close relationship with extended family- Develop emergency plan- Assume additional “chores” at home- Talk about veteran routinely and often- Conduct normal celebrations- Build network of support services- Attend military events- Participate in veteran centered activities- Start collection drive for care packages - Others ideas??

“It ‘s like Déjà vu all over again.”

- Yogi Berra - Baseball Hall of Famer

Sustainment• “Normal” life

• Develop routine

• Murphy’s Law

• Exhaustion/Need a break

• Feeling alone

• Financial issues

• Employment

The New Normal at Home - Include veteran’s name in conversations/discussions

(not in past tense)- Keep veteran’s photo in clear view- Write and send cards, letters, emails, care packages, etc.- Celebrate holidays and birthdays- Tears are okay- Feeling lonesome is normal - let others know- Regularly send photos to the veteran- Resolve issues on the home-front/choose which to share with the veteran- Talk about football victories, proms, school events, grades – make the veteran

feel included - Share with teachers, counselors, ministers, etc., when desired- Beware of media reports- Use Skype, Facebook, Instagram to stay connected

Question…

Does today’s communication capability help the family and veteran separation or make the situation more difficult?

Your thoughts?

It is important for the family and the veteran to :

- Realize changes to come- Assess/discuss needs - Remain positive- Give each other space- Have time together

individually and as a family- Identify and connect to

support resources

Prepare for Homecoming

Post deployment

- Who is this stranger?- Get reacquainted- Communication- Identifying changes- Developing a future plan- Work together- Take time- Toleration- Support the veteran- Addressing issues

- Psychological- Physical- Emotional

CONCERNS

• FIT/INTEGRATION

• ALONE TOGETHER

• FINANCIAL SUPPORT

• MEDICAL NEEDS

1946 20042 movies sixty years apart are shown.

Both present the challenges veterans and families face when reuniting after a period of separation due to military service.

Has anything changed in over sixty years?

Time Can Change Things?

CHALLENGES

• Emotional Cycle• Physical Adjustments• Changes• Psychological Issues

• PTSD• Secondary PTSD

Other Unspoken Wounds -Family Members Need to Be Aware

Traumatic Brain Injury

Military Sexual Trauma

Moral Injury

Anxiety/Depression

Up to 1/3 of student veterans may be struggling with “invisible wounds” of war which can impact the ability to concentrate, complete assignments and be successful.

History of Trauma TermsCivil War Post-war Illness (resulted in institutionalization)

World War l Shell shock

World War II Battle Fatigue

1980’s Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

Post 9-11 Secondary PTSD*

* Impacts those exposed to others who have been traumatized themselves to include veteran family members.

Source: Military Health Organization

PTSD and the Veteran Today

DISCHARGE AND/OR RETIREMENT“What to Wear?”

• Independence• Choices• Voluntary• Self-directed• Individual• Less regulated• New team• Goal setting

Leaving the MilitaryWhat now?

• For some, the separation between military and civilian life is vast

• Reintegration is a gradual process and support is available

• Each branch has a transition assistance program

• Pre-separation counseling (stress management, mentor services)

• Financial planning• VA benefits overviews

SUICIDE PREVENTION

The following feelings and behaviors can all be signs for concern. It is important to encourage professional help if:

· Thinking about hurting or killing him or herself· Talking or writing about death, dying or suicide· Unable to sleep or oversleeping· Withdrawing from friends, family or society· Increasing alcohol or drug use· Engaging in reckless or risky behavior· Experiencing excessive rage, anger or desire for revenge· Having feelings of anxiety, agitation or hopelessness· Reliving past stressful experiences· Experiencing dramatic changes in mood

This Photo by Unknown Author is licensed und

Family Members – Children

- Minimal understanding- Lack of processing skills- Limited information- Confusion/Uncertainty- Fear/Doubt/Worry- Lack of sleep/Dreams

Family Members Teenagers/Young Adults

- Confused- Uncertain- Fear- Worry - Doubt- Concern- Lack of sleep/ Bad dreams- Change of environment- Interference with academics- Lonesome- Greater responsibilities - Relationship with parent- Filling void- Media induced emotions

Family Members - Spouses

- Fear- Worry - Doubt/Uncertainty- Concern- Lack of sleep - Increased responsibilities- Single parenthood- Aloneness/lonesome- Relationship with spouse - Relationship with children- Filling void- Media induced emotions- Balancing life

Nationwide Resources

Our Military Kids grants ease the financial strain on parents while giving their children the chance to participate in positive activities that will help them laugh, grow, and feel connected to the community. HEAR THEIR STORIES. https://www.ourmilitarykids.org/

Operation We are Here – To create an awareness of the challenges of the military communityTo offer practical suggestions to churches, communities and individuals on how to support and encourage the military community.

http://www.operationwearehere.com/AboutUs.html#anchor_102

FOCUS – Families Overcoming Under Stress – teaches skills to overcome deployment and reintegration, problem solving, and goal setting. https://focusproject.org/

Blue Star Families - We're committed to strengthening military families by connecting them with their neighbors – individuals and organizations – to create vibrant communities of mutual support. We believe we're all stronger when we take care of one another. https://bluestarfam.org/

Support ResourceMilitary One Source - your connection to information, answers and support when MilLifehappens. We can help you overcome challenges, reach your goals and thrive.

One Source can help with:Relationship counseling

Non-medical counseling for stress relief Financial counselingDocument translation

Spouse scholarships, education and career benefits

Child care optionsPCS moves

HTTPS://WWW.MILITARYONESOURCE.MIL/   800‐342‐9647

Other Resources

The Yellow Ribbon Reintegration Program (YRRP) - the National Guard and Reserve prepare service members and families for deployment, sustain them during deployment, and provide information and support to help with reintegration with families, communities and employers upon their return and release from active duty. https://www.usar.army.mil/ARFP/YellowRibbon/

Installation Family Support Programs - immediate family members of active duty Guard or Reserve members are entitled to use services at military installations. Fleet and Family Support Centers, Marine Corps Community Services, Airman and Family Readiness Centers, and Army Community Service Centers offer a wide range of professional support services as well as information and referral to community resources.

A Local Resource

Your unit family support staff and volunteer networkGuard and Reserve commands have organized family support systems of staff and volunteers. Family Assistance Coordinators, Family Readiness Assistants, Family Readiness Officers or other designated family support specialists are your links to unit information and support.

Getting to know key staff and volunteers before your service member deploys can make it easier to ask for help later. Call the service member's unit to connect with these resources, and stay in touch during the deployment. If you move or get a new phone number, notify the unit points of contact so you won't miss out on important information and activities.

https://sesamestreetformilitaryfamilies.org/

Other Suggestions

Get to know families of veterans serving with spouse or parent- Exchange phone numbers and email addresses- Plan social events, periodic meals- Celebrate anniversaries, birthdays and holidays- Prepare and send care packages throughout deployment period- Use technology to the fullest (email address groups, videos, etc.)- Form support groups to share news- Prepare newsletters and send to veterans- Seek community support- Welcome Home Events- Other ideas??

Your Role

Awareness

Understanding

Knowledge of resources and referral

Willingness to support and assist

Encouragement

Most importantly: Willingness to Listen

Dr. Barry MundayCoordinator, Veteran ServicesChattahoochee Technical College400 Nathan Dean BlvdDallas GA 30132770-443-3612

Jim Cunningham Veteran Services CenterChattahoochee Technical College980 South Cobb Drive, Building B, Room 138Marietta GA 30060770-528-3491

Barry.Munday@chattahoocheetech.edu