A Love Beyond Vengeance

Username: Monshie09_LJ Prompt: One Title: A Love Beyond Vengeance Rating: PG-15 (original rate for the contest) >>>>>>>>> NC-17 (Edited version) Genre: Romance, Angst, Slice of Life Summary:

Oh if only he realized sooner how right he was. Warnings (if any) : Super long. BETA (original version): k/fudan/nozomi22 A/N: You might have read this in LJ because I wrote this for the first competition ever in Hyukhae community. LOL, i was the last who signed up [because I failed to see it earlier] and I was the last one who passed an entry. Irresponsible, huh? Lol, passed it on deadline...puhahah.

who voted for this too. Because I only knew mya, dewi umma and lhen unnie voted for this but I

Author: Monshie09 © Beta: nozomi22

Posted: Nov 18 2010 Completed: Nov 18 2010 Chapter/s: 1 Edited: Yes, 2011

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR Credit: Alex Philophobic

Divina Bataller or famously known as MonShie09, Kyleden09, but most of her readers calls her 'The HaeHyuk Prophet', was born on January 26, 1991 at the small province of Antique, Philippines and then migrated to Ireland. She's the youngest in her family, but you wouldn't think that way when you read her fics right?? *winkwink*

Okay, I won't start this by saying MonShie09 as a sweet lady, good friend, child at heart, and innocent. Cause the last statement is obviously a lie. Tralalala~

An ELF since 2008, first bias was Kibum, then Siwon but after third week of knowing Super Junior she settled being a Donghae bias *duh who doesn't knows that?*, and sometimes finds herself being a Hyukjae bias but wouldn't like to admit it, and would run to her Donghae bias friends to save her from Hyukjae's charm. Would only ship Hyukjae to Donghae and vice versa, and believes that Donghae is the ultimate top. But kind enough to let Hyukjae top sometimes, evil her. Her stand on fandom?? It's not 15... Nor 13... It's Super Junior as ONE... She loves all the boys equally, okay maybe a little more for Donghae.

Virtually wed to *coughABUSIVEcough* Rio, and has a daugther named Manilyn, her very first ELF family. Right now, she has another kid named Vanessa K; a kid with Rio and Mya. Hard to explain but yeah...

It would be awkward if it's your first time talking to her, especially if you really love her fics, really adore her, and would like to tell her that, without creeping her out. Haha, I know cause I've been there. Actually you're kind of lucky now, cause

she used to be an anti-social back then, but now, she's more accommodating to people, she bites less than usual. So yeah, you can say that fandom did her good. She now has an LJ family that has a huge number of members, and she's not complaining like 'omg, why are you so many??' in a squeaky voice. LOL. She can even adopt you if she wants. ^__^

First ever yaoi fic that she read was a YunJae one. And then a EunHae one shot. If I remember it correctly, she said that she even did research for some words that she doesn't understand. And after that she got inspired and started riting.

She has a day job, and writing is just one of her hobby that she willingly shares to ELF. Scratch that, cause she said it herself, she has a LOT of unpublished fics on her dangerous laptop. Haha.

Her type of writing is light, fluffy, funny, angsty, romantic, possesive Hae, abused Hyuk *T.T* and smutsy all at the same time, okay lets add random and weird cause sometimes it is. She'll make you roll into the floor with all the crack jokes she's throwing, and hold onto your sit with the action scenes, will make your heart feel like it is being squeezed with the angst-ness, will make you cry with all the drama, will make you fall in love with Donghae with all his romantic/possessive antics, and will make you feel sorry for Hyuk for being abused like that *pwahaha, i'm venting out Divine* and will make your imagination go far, far wild with the smutsy scenes. And of course she'll make you feel like putting her into a sack and threw her on a river for hanging you oh-so-bad with every updates, she's the 'Queen of Cliffhanger' for real!!!

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Don't be misled with her sweet talk people!!!!! She likes that!!!! She likes hanging the reader oh-so-bad!!! I'm telling you!!!! She's smirking like a devil every time she does it. And she's a masochist too!!! But we're not complaining on that one right?. Teehee.

If you got to know her during the first days of her writing days and still continued to watch her, there is no doubt that Monshie09 grew as a writer. We may not see a PG HaeHyuk fic from her in the near future, but we will surely see more of those HaeHyuk NC17 fics from her.

Divina Bataller a.k.a MonShie09; an ELF, a Fish, a Jewel, an Unnie, a Dongsaeng, a Friend, a Great Writer... You will be missed... Lol kidding Divine... <3

Credit:

Alex Philophobic

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Life has always been full of surprises. No one is able to tell what life has in store for them

just according to what people have planned and desired of as to how their life is going to be. There are some people who are living life they have longed for while some others still stayed in the darkest pits life could ever offer. Even so, some people strive hard to gain everything they want in life but only a few are able to live and experience life in the lap of luxury. There are those who still live in anger and revenge is what fuels them to live. Hyukjae had grown tired of it. He wanted his old, best friend, Donghae back... back to the way he was. ~-=*=-~ 10 YEARS PRIOR FROM THE PRESENT

Hyukjae smiled and almost knocked his best friend off his feet when he pounced on him

slowly on the grou

Hyukjae smiled then went to the desk of his room where his vanity mirror is located. He opened the drawer and took a box out from its confinement. He then went back to Donghae and handed

said but excitedly opened the box anyways. Inside was a silver bracelet, so fine and beautiful every male in the world would crave for it.

nt you to open it as your last

start the party for his 18th birthday. They arrived at the big yellow room where a slow classical music is being played beautifully.

with. Their parents probably invited those rich people to his party. Among these unknown guests, he saw his selected friends at the corner, playing childishly

making friends but he was always shy and reluctant when opening up to strangers so he was only able to make a few. Honestly, they were Don

he was in the same circle as them. All his life, he never made friends by himself. It was always Donghae bringing a friend to his side. Donghae was friendly while he was reluctant.

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approaching them. He hauled his boyfriend, Hangeng then had the latter hand the rather big

Hyukjae held it tightly, wincing at the weight. Donghae chuckled seeing it and took it upon himself to carry it and he did. He took the present from Hyukjae and he himself wondered what could be inside. He went towards the empty couch and placed it down.

replied. Hyukjae awkwardly smiled after hearing it. What does he expect when it comes to Heechul? Sighing, he shifted his attention towards the two people who were looking at him sweetly,

-

wondered gifts; instead, he shamelessly asked him for a game if he goes on a vacation from his college. Yesung, a sunbae, gave him a new dog leash for his dog, Choco. The leash has the

was now being pulled as a ribbon pasted on the shell. Really, this hyung of his is the weirdest of all. Soon enough, his greatest hyung, Leeteuk, had lectured him about things he should

giving him much pain in his chest.

Seoul University while Donghae was going to a university in America.

made a decision to only send Hyukjae in Seoul University, which was also a great university.

He gained friends because Donghae was friendly. He was happy because Donghae was a

Such a thing makes him really sad. The party went on with him not noticing it. He was busy moping about his college life without his best friend with him even though Leeteuk will be with him at the same

depending too much of his life on Donghae; from every small instance up to the biggest decision of his life. Yes, he is a very good example of an indecisive person because his life depends too much on people, especially on Donghae. He developed the attitude of letting other people decide

Hyukjae nodded at him then waved at the entrance of their mansion to see their other friends already at the entrance. They all smiled at him then waved back before exiting the place. The earlier noise of the party slowly subsided as his guests left one by one until it was only him and his parents. Well, Donghae and his parents were still with them, refusing to go home still.

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happily took as much presents as he could. Both their parents just shrug and continued talking downstairs about their own lives and

~*~

choose which one he was supposed to open first though but Donghae who knows him well enough chose for him.

amusing. Hyukjae never smiled as genuinely as this except to Donghae himself. Hyukjae was reluctant in everything he does but towards Donghae, he becomes transparent and can do anything for Donghae.

for Donghae to give him the promised last present. Donghae smiled. He got up to feel something from the inner, chest pocket of his suit. He

sound of suspense as he gently withdrew his hand away from his suit. A brown A4 envelope was then presented in front of Hyukjae and the male briefly

Hyukjae nodded since it was Donghae who asked him to open it. He opened the envelope and when he did, a piece of paper fell from the envelope to the floor. He reached for it then

envelope. His eyes scanned the rest of the documents he found. He must have done it

admission letter?Donghae.

Dongh

ukjae repeatedly said, drawing Donghae for a tight hug. The amount of happiness Donghae kept on showering him with

Donghae nodd

he pecks the inviting skin and was soon biting it. Hyukjae gasped and abruptly moved awa

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Donghae paced back and forth, only seeming to have

Hyukjae blinked several times after hearing what his best friend told him. An indecisive man he was, he hesitated in digesting what he just heard and maybe his mind was just playing a cruel trick on him to finally hear what he liked and fantasized about. Donghae moved closer and embraced Hyukjae to prevent him from running away. He had

between them, as long as he says what he truly feels and be real to himself.

wanting to say it. I understand if you

Donghae let out a very amused and contended laugh before taking Hyukjae full on the lips,

kissing his lover once again, letting himself feel every contact of him through the heated kiss. ____________________

ited at the airport. His flight with Donghae will be in an hour and a half. It seemed that his mother was still not finished in lecturing him about things he had to consider in college and living alone with a boyfriend in a foreign country. Yes, they knew Donghae and he were officially together and they were more than happy about it.

nodded absentmindedly.

is only son about trivial things a man should know. Same as Hyukjae did, Donghae just nodded. To prevent attracting too much attention from other people at the airport, they hurriedly finished their farewell to their parents and left to check-in. Exactly an hour and a half later, their plane left for America. ____________________ After a year in college, America -9 YEARS PRIOR FROM THE PRESENT.

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Hyukjae lowered his pen as he

closed the book Hyukjae was studying. He hauled him up to his feet, pushed a pair of wellington boots towards him, pink ones which were from Sungmin. He also handed him a

As usual, Hyukjae co

reasons why he loves Donghae. He just knows everything about what he loved. Donghae really is the perfect, happy person he would always have.

enjoying the first day of snow fall. It was cold and their faces sting

make the best out of it. __________________________

be

He was standing before a crowded room with happy faces looking back at him, no, looking back at all of them. He was wearing a red, graduation coat. After nearly five years, he and Donghae managed to graduate with average grades. Well, compared to the other students

perfect for Hyukjae. He has very supporting parents, nice family background, great status and a very perfect boyfriend whom he had been dating for almost five years now. It scares him.

y long and so they took an early flight back to Korea, leaving the kids to attend the graduation ball and also settle everything in America before following home. For the whole week after their graduation, Hyukjae and Donghae spent their time touring aroof priority. They went out, dating night and day. They devoted themselves to each other. Donghae stopped at the church near their university. He went inside holding Hyukhand tightly in his, their fingers fitting perfectly together. The church was empty, so elegantly peaceful in every sense. He kneeled at the center and Hyukjae followed suit because for the latter, it was quite normal to see Donghae behaving like this. Donghae can be a badass teenager but also a strict catholic; he often goes to church. They said their prayers silently, thanking God for giving them good health, for having awesome families, for guiding them through their academic lives and especially for letting them find each other. They also asked God forgiveness for falling in love with the same sex

regret having each other until it looks right in the eyes of God.

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Hyukjae, though confused, held his hands out for Donghae to hold onto. Donghae smiled in relief as he searched for something in his back pocket. Finding the item,

almost five years ago. Hyukjae was surprised hearing what Donghae had said, even more so at the thing that was being presented before him. It was a shining, platinum ring with gold linings encrusted at the edge of the ring. The linings were about a millimetre in width while the ring itself was 6 millimetres w Donghae sweated, his fingers covered the ring and retreated from their embarrassing

should have waited for more days to practice and ready the other.

Donghae eyed Hyukjae in disbelief yet the happiness was obvious in his brown eyes. He drew him close for a big embrace like he always does, pecks him everywhere on the face

had initiated right inside the house of God where they had been praying for acceptance for their forbidden relationship just like the other millions around the world.

____________________________ It was what Hyukjae had feared. The moment they had reached their mansion, he noticed right away the change in atmosphere covering the place. The usual happy and radiant atmosphere had turned into a gloomy one. Instead of blooming flowers, there were only dry ones. The lively decorations turned into pure whiteness. This wasn't the house Hyukjae had remembered...not even close to it. He felt a soft pressure on his shoulder and he knew it was his lover, Donghae who was comforting him. He sighed to clear out the worries he had in his chest, "Let's go inside..." He finally said. It would the first time he and Donghae would ever step in his vast mansion after they had left for college in America because it was always their parents who went to visit them. Technically, they didn't need to go home just to see them. Donghae pushed the door open. The ambiance of the house completely changed, and he wanted to know why. Though just by the looks of it, he already assumed something undesirable happened. He looked up to see what's before him and he felt like his feet were nailed on the floor recognizing the scene. His long arms moved instantly to block his lover from seeing what he just saw. All he wanted to do now was to haul Hyukjae out of the unwelcoming place and disable him from seeing or hearing about it forever. But he was a second too late because Hyukjae had already seen what was happening. Before he could support his lithe body, Hyukjae was already on the floor, kneeling weakly. Donghae's mother, who was in sight, ran as quickly as she could towards the poor, young

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Hyukjae stared straight at the scene before him, jumbling his thoughts to make himself believe that the two coffins laid across the room were just two couches lying around

coffins serving as the resting place for his parents. Fully understanding the situation, warm tears made its way down his face causing his eyes to sting painfully as he cried soundlessly, trying hard to forget what he had just seen.

graduating in a prominent school last week. Yes, it was only last week he had seen them so close to him but where are they now? Their bodies were the only things that remain. They had left him alone! Both his parents!

~*~ Donghae looked using since childhood. They were back in Korea hoping for a very happy holiday after graduating in college before embarking another busy life as employed workers but this

at they were hoping for. His breath hitched as he tried to prevent himself from tearing up from what he had learnt.

Quickly, he looked for his parents who were in the same state as Hyukjae right now. They lookd really depressed and obviously stressed out. He sat at the table where his mother

His father sighed and decided to honestly tell him everything himself because his mother

just cried as soon as he asked.

of hand just asked if Hyukkie would come with you to America for college, they agreed right away knowing that America would be the safest place for Hyukkie that time and also for Hyukkie not to notic

an ambush from a meeting where they both attended to obtain the smallest chance to

Donghae just stayed there listening intently and partly thinking how he would be able to

to do and he really

ow, Donghae was harshly gritting his teeth, anger building up against the company that caused misfortune on

~*~ Donghae watched the person beside him with a heavy heart. He wanted to ease the pain his

cheeks; it was this sight that he has hated to see lately. He has been protecting him for so long now that he found no reason for Hyukjae to look this way, like the world was crashing heavily down on him.

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The angels seemed like they were crying with the loss of the two most, perfect couple there was and a pair of parents to a son. The rain fell heavily, forcing the people attending the burial to hold their umbrella high above their heads as they listened to the priest who was in front of the two bodies lying in the coffins. Their friends were there, present at the time they were badly needed. They came and stayed with Hyukjae as soon as they heard the

precious man laugh but it seemed like those were just failed attempts. Donghae hated everything that was happening. He resented everyone responsible for this. He looked to his right, his arms wrapped comfortably around the slender shoulder of his love, continuously letting him know he is safe and loved. Hyukjae knows that he still had Donghae who loves him and would always stay by his side but parents were parents. Nobody can replace them and it was natural to feel depressed

time. Assuring himself, he nodded at Donghae to show him he appreciated everything he had done for the last few days during the wake. He looked at the worried faces of everyone

orphan now and no fortune to start his life. Si

dad. I can take care of myself. You go and rest...with m-omm- oke into tears and his boyfriend, no; his fiancé offered his chest for him to cry on. It was comforting and so he allowed himself to cry all over again. This really was just too much... ~*~

Hyukjae was already inside the car, still whimpering realizing that his last chance to see his parents physically had already passed. They were already buried six feet under the ground and that alone triggered heavy emotions from his chest. Wiping his warm tears of despair, he looked outside. The rain still fell heavily but he can see the little outline of his fiancé standing before the fresh tomb, wet under the rain. He saw him kneeling down, probably praying and making an oath. Indeed, Donghae is praying and swearing in front of the tomb that he would take care of

their future and the plans he had in mind. ~*~

plates.

t at times. He always does the most unnecessary of things and fails to take some rest. Hyukjae bowed slightly and went back to the room he and Donghae had been staying in.

sibility of him. They had him stay at their house and treated him just like how they loved and treated Donghae, just like their own son. Hyukjae will be forever thankful of that and he wanted to repay all their kindness with his kindness in return. There were times that he would find himself crying over the fact that his parents are

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definitely no longer with him. He missed them badly but all he can do now to make himself feel better was to reminiscence their memories together. At least, in his memories, his loving parents will forever live on.

make them pay but he knows well enough that it would just be wishing for a miracle to happen. The company that crushed their family is a big corporation now and he against them would be nonsense. It will forever be. The only thing that keeps him going was Donghae. Donghae always shows him that life

, let oneself grow and face life strongly.

Hyukjae pressed his lips tightly, fighting the tears from falling. When he made sure he did, he looked up and smiled his best towards Donghae who has been trying to tie his necktie. Seeing how badly ti

for the folder with all the reports he had been working on overnight.

teaching him everything from scratch to the most crucial of things. Hyukjae also told Donghae to employ him under the company since they graduated from the same course. In

Sighing, he walked with Donghae to the front of the house to send him of

Hyukjae just shyly smiled, waving his goodbye. ~*~

He waited until his father placed down the folder he was reading to talk to him. When the old man did, he stiffened. What would his father tell him? The old man cle Donghae lowered his head. It was the first time his father told him something negative. His father will always be so positive on everything, a fighter and a happy person. This thing

Now, that was something strange. And at that moment, Donghae can now guess what his father was talking about. His breath hitched before ay

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His father nodded, slightly embarrassed that he sounded so childish in front of his own son

had lots of things to learn from his dad fbefore he can assure himself that he can do well

~*~ Donghae thought they were doing just great. Hyukjae was officially an employee in their company and was working as his assistant. Everyone in the corporate world knows that they are engaged. Yes, it raised a big commotion but it eventually died down and now, everything was at peace.

pulling the little man closer to sit on his lap.

the pressure he is currently into. Really, having a fiancé for an assistant is really convenient. ~*~

had somehow moved on and separated that certain part of their life from their present.

Donghae always thought that everything will be alright and he'll succeed on pulling Hyukjae up and away from his despair. But he's wrong. He's all wrong. It was the night when they were having dinner with Donghae's parents. It's pretty much the usual scene but everything turned really sour when Donghae's dad started to keep quiet. "Are you okay, hon?" Donghae's mother asked worriedly, making Donghae and Hyukjae pause from eating and talking to look at their way, waiting for an answer. Mr. Lee just looked at his family and lastly at Hyukjae as he clutched his chest. Just like that, the old man dropped unconscious on the cold floor. Donghae was the one who acted fast. He took his father's body into his arms and onto the couch. His mother then went to the phone and dialled the number for an ambulance. Meanwhile, Hyukjae was left staring at the scene; unable to move, speak or even help. Fear took over him; the fear that another person dear to him will disappear like his own parents did. It was the sirens of the ambulance that made him aware of the crucial situation unfolding before his eyes. Mrs. Lee left with the ambulance while Donghae stayed with him for a while until Leeteuk arrived. Donghae then left for the hospital with a heavy heart and a worried face. Hyukjae doesn't like the look owould be a walking zombie just like him if the situation turns for the worst. That's when everything else had gotten even worst.

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wn. He's a completely bed-ridden person now and that made Donghae's family look like someone had died. It's pretty sad to see them like that and it hurts even more to know that the people Hyukjae had been seeing as the only source of happiness are at the same zone as he is; ever alive but hell empty. It was unknown to Hyukjae though that the thing that triggered the sudden deterioration of the health of Donghae's dad was revenge. Donghae's dad couldn't contain the hatred of having to lose great friends because of selfishness and the desire to be on top of everything. He tried everything to somehow get revenge But the pressure and the efforts were draining his health little by little. The opposing company reached top and bringing them down again to the pits was rather impossible and he doesn't want to let his son know about it...because he knows that deep inside Donghae also had the desire to take revenge. He doesn't want his son to dwell on revenge all his life because taking revenge was one devilish act that can destroy oneself or more. ~*~

It was a typical August morning; winds blowing coldly in a semi-hot weather and the falling autumn leaves starting to cover the surroundings. People would think it was the best day to go outside and have a peaceful walk but for me, it was heartache. It had been a year since my parents died and as much as I wanted to play the role of a

d task for me to smile at the death anniversary of my parents. I know my lover was worried about me and so were his parents and even my friends. Right

now, my friends are smiling at me to let me know that I am not alone and they are still there to spend me up. Even Donghae.

ows when the old man will leave us and join my parents. The thought alone makes me crumble into pieces

to handle another loss in just barely two years. I hate whatevehappening to me. I knew it...I knew it. There is no such thing as a perfect life. And that dark pit around the corner finally attacked me from behind, slowly covering the rest of the colourful part of my life. Such a pity, such cruelty...such...what did I do to deserve all this? Why Donghae too? ~*~

having dinner for Christmas Eve; Donghae was wearing a red cardigan and I was in my green one. The

visited a couple of times as well, either giving presents or claiming presents from us. To summarize everything; we did have a happy Christmas Eve that night. It was also my second Christmas waking up expecting to have no parents to call my own but I can hold it;

The clock struck 3 am then; when all of our friends went home and all of us were expecting nobody to show up because Christmas Eve was obviously over.

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away and there was only one location our feet t

different from the look of his earlier at dinner. He was laughing and joking with everyone earlier but now, he looked like he was...dying....

the snow outside, the reason as to why he was saying such touching words out of nowhere. Yet, Donghae listened well. He was crying, crying terribly and I can perfectly

parents were killed. ~*~ The day of the burial was like a flashback of the day I was facing two coffins on a rainy day.

Donghae now. Ironic. We changed places. I know how terrible Donghae must be feeling seeing me cry before, oh how I wished it was me alone who would carry such despair in the heart.

urting inside but damn, I was too weak to muster any kind of strength to help him. I just stayed there, crying with him and

When the burial was over and everyone decided to leave to get on with their own lives, Donghae and Hyukjae were left staring at the fresh lot covering the very hole of the space

lines down his

the grave with very intense and unforgiving eyes? I could have noted that, I could have calmed him just right there and maybe... maybe I could have prevented him from becoming someone I never wished him to be... someone who looks so destroyed and inhumane.

PRESENT TIME Seeing how Donghae was a mess now, it hurts my heart. Why did I just let him be like this? Why did I let Donghae turn into something horrendous under my nose? Was it my fault that he experienced such misery? Yes, when Donghae's dad died and found out that his dad was secretly trying to take down the company that caused my parents' death and our company to crumble into nothing, Donghae started to develop hatred towards the company. He became restless with the aim to be at the top just so he could have the easy ticket to destroy whoever started these miseries. For years, he tried to win everything. For years, Donghae became deathly competitive; may it be dirty or pleasant. All Donghae wanted was to be at the top and in order for him to gain that, he deliberately destroyed himself. The once happy person I've known became a cold and stern one. Though, his being a lover to me never wavered, I can see that if he's not with me, he's someone he's not. Donghae is filthy rich and everyone in the business world knew him and fears him to the core. Nobody wanted to get in his way or even think of doing so. Though it was a pity as to how he instantly became such a scary, business figure, I know well that revenge triggered him to gain such a position in the economy. Donghae has not yet fully attacked the company and I know by now that the company was beginning to be aware of Donghae's goal, making them consciously scared and paranoid as to when Donghae would attack their company just like what they did to my parents'

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company. It was cruel of Donghae to do that but I understand the desire of wanting to do such a thing. But enough is enough; I've already seen how this destroyed Donghae bit by bit. I can barely recognize him. I want him to stop this competition against big names and finally have him rest from the polluted part of life. I want him to stop. "Hyuk," Donghae called my attention. I must have looked like I wasn't listening to him. I awkwardly looked up at him and openly frowned when I saw him looking gloomy and I know it's not because of me but something deeper. "Neh, hae?" Donghae looked at me, "Are you coming with me to the party?" I sighed heavily, asking, "Do you want to go there?" Donghae neither said anything nor made an expression that can give him away. It has always been like this; even I can't read his face anymore. He always had a poker face on, something he learned from competing against the world of dirty business. He tends to control his expressions to prevent himself his motives from being predicted. But I never liked it because I can't tell whether he's happy or not; whether he still loves me or not. "Hae, I know you don't like partying and I know you don't like going. Now, why even bother?" I stated. Donghae looked away, "I need to. I need to make an appearance." I sighed. Yes, what else am I expecting? I know Donghae never liked doing all of this but his hatred fuels him. "Hae..." I placed my palm on his hand, "Listen..." I said as gently as I can. Donghae raised his head to look at me, "....hm?" "You've done enough. You brought my family's company back to life... You are at least at par with Yachi Co. Everyone is scared of you, even the company itself. Isn't it time to...you know, stop?"

Donghae put on a stern face as if he just heard the most absurd thing on earth, "No way." He said and his words had that tone of finality and that he was directly dropping the subject. I stood up from the table, never trying to hide my disappointment from him as I stepped back never saying anything. "Hyuk," I stopped in my heels but never replied, just waiting. "You know I love you, right?" Donghae said. Shit this! "I can barely feel it, hae." Those words were said without me even realizing it. Maybe those words were always there, hidden deep inside me, resenting the distance he had with Donghae. I heard the screeching of his seat as it was pushed away and then I heard Donghae's footsteps right behind me. "What do you mean, hyuk?" He was now holding onto my shoulder, wanting me to face him. I gulped emptily before looking back at him toughly, "Hae, you're hardly acting yourself. You're health is fading.... you...re... you're not you! You're goal is destroying you, don't you know that?" "Hyuk." "Come on, hae. Please... forget about all these competitions to be at the top... and gather yourself again." "No, hyuk." I was stunned. No? As in, he told me, no? It's not that I was doing this without any reason. I'm doing this because I know it could be good for him to just forget everything else and enjoy the peaceful side of the world.

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"Alright." I voiced out, nodding without any reason at all. "I understand just please, Hae. Don't lose yourself along the way." I whispered my inner plea. I never wanted to lose Donghae and I wanted him to stay as long as I can. Eternity, if that's even possible. "Hyuk," A hand gently caressing my shoulder made me looked back and was met by the deep expressive eyes of Donghae; the eyes that look at me differently from everyone else. The very same hand cupped the back of neck having me look at him while his lips descended on my lips. It was warm, gentle and sweet; his kisses are. It was also seeking for attention and so as a wife, I responded equally with my passion. God knows that I can't live without Donghae and I wanted to repay him with everything that I can. I gladly open my mouth for his slick tongue to freely invade me. It got me moaning with his tongue hitting right on my sensitive spots inside my cavern; our nose and teeth clashing so closely. He was sucking me and my breathing seems to be washed out along with the sweet oblivion I'm feeling. My worries and resentment had completely turned into warm passion I have for Donghae. Our tongues still battling for whose got the better move to satisfy each other; but our hands were quick on taking each other's clothes as if there are no arguments happened between us moment ago. I was led towards the big couch because we both know that the bed will be a long way to go to. Couch is much nearer and convenient. I was stripped off my top by one arm and the other sleeve is still hanging on my other arm because I didn't bother letting go from his neck. I was sitting on the soft futon while his kneels on his one knee between my spread legs. Still kissing each other openly, I felt his thumb caressing the peak of my right nipple. "Hae..." I moaned out against his thin lips. He quickly shut me up with his passionate kiss one more time then proceeded down on my jaws up to my obvious feminine collarbone Heechul would always wanna emphasize.

His trailing warm tongue found my left nipple, sucking on it earnestly whiles his left palm still kneading on the twin. I could only arch my back in deep pleasure and dug my palm on his silky brown locks to press him even closer against my sensitive skin. I want him. He shifted to my other nipple and that's when I can only feel a slight soar on the abandoned certain nipple but God it was pleasurable but who cares? I want that attention. His free hand worked on unzipping his own jeans then pulled down the rest of his clothing off. I felt my right hand being lifted and when I checked and felt at the same time; his bulging cock was against my grasp. Understanding, I worked on his cock; stroke it gently then fast depending on how he'd react. Besides, I'm also completely caught up with his manifestation on my upper body... "Oh haeeeee..." I gasped when I felt his fingers feeling my hardening cock against my thin jeans. "Hae...open..." Donghae drew a wicked smile on his face, detaching his lips from my nipple. He crouched down before my jeans; that made me stiff, nonetheless. I heard my zipper zipping down by his teeth, then kisses the head of my clothed penis. "Hae," I wanted to cry. I wanted him to take me already. He didn't reply nor laugh. I knew this is one of those nights he would make love to me without him saying a word; he just wanted to show me his feelings through his actions. Yeah, there are those times. Donghae gently drew my boxers down then worked on my hardened length. He sucks on the head had me turned so red and completely pleasured. His lips outlining my length; his teeth gently brushing against some prominent veins along it. It was always wonderful with his gentle pace; his cheeks contracted against my length as he takes me in up to the back of his warm cavern: can barely feel the back of his throat. He was always awesome with this activity and he always had me coming so successfully. Like before, I did inside his welcoming cavern. He swallowed all my load and watched me catching my breath and awareness.

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I tried to get up and pay the favour but he held me down, spread my legs for him. He massaged his own dripping cock to slicken his fingers. He took it just before my twitching entrance then plunge it in gently. I gasped; it hurts somehow. He hushed me down whispering sweet words on my lips. With his finger by finger increasing on my entrance, stretching me and awakening the spirit of intimate sex on me; I moaned and he would know by now I'm ready. I was expecting for his to thrust on me once he caught the sign but he lifted me up. He seated on the couch and placed me on his manly lap. I got the idea right away and that made me blush slightly. I held his aching hard cock to position it right at my entrance. Knowing I got the spot right, I pushed down; winking on the slight pain surging on the deepest sensory of my brain. He was deep into me and I'm practically swallowing him whole. Once we settled on the reality that once again; we're one for nobody knows how many times, we locked on each other's gaze. I can feel my heart beats so fast, jumping so rigidly on my ribcage. It feels like our first time that I was so nervous and shy. His gazes made me so. It was his personal knowing gaze; the eyes that can tell me how much he loves me, allowing me to see through the eyes towards his soul. Somehow, I wanted to believe that Donghae didn't change at all. He cupped my face, nibbling on my lips soon after. His hands went on the cheeks of my bum, encouraging me to finally move. Without parting out lips, I tried to move slowly; bouncing on his lap while making sure I tightly held him in on my sensitive hole. He moaned on my lips and I did after him. The pace wasn't rough nor strong and deep but it was full of our feelings towards each other that it was enough for us to incredibly feel nice. Love isn't all about lust; well, sometimes that applies on us very rarely though and tonight is one of those sometimes. We have gotten mature after all. I was just merely striding on top of him because he doesn't wanna let go of my lips while his hands were caressing my bareback. He then switches a little and when I bounced down, he hit my prostrate dead on. I howled softly and feeling the rush to feel it again, I bounced up and down again at the same angle.

Feeling the massive pleasure, I parted from his kisses and arched my back, my hands rested on his knees behind me. His lips then got busy on my exposed nipple and his left hand stroking my dripping cock. We were moaning accompanying the physical sound of sex enveloping us at the moment. I was wild on top of him with the help of his right strong arm helping me up generously. Biting my lips resigning, I pleaded, "No..more, Hae..." He smiled understandingly while locking my eyes on his brown double-lidded eyes. "I want you to look at me while you cum." I nodded, "Yes, Hae..." Few more bouncing on top of him; sucking him in inside. I came against our bodies with a random breathing. He pecks on my moist lips while he led me down on the soft couch without breaking our contact. I lazily braced for more. With my whole sucking him tightly due to my previous orgasm, he rammed inside me to meet his own. It was rough and seeking that I was able to moan again with all my sensitivity. I tagged on his neck, moaning sweetly his name. I knew his near considering how he thrusts inside me and I purposely contracted my hole even tighter. That caught him somehow off guard that he just found himself unloading inside me with his abrupt long thrust. I chuckled softly to taunt him but flutter my eyes to shut by the wonderful feeling of his warm cum deposited inside my abused hole. Oh, I ever loved that feeling. When I opened my eyes, I saw him pouting like a little kid. "What's wrong?" "You cheated..." He pointed out. I chuckled and drew him near, "Are you just trying to make that a reason to take me again?" "You should be responsible." He dramatically sulked, taking his wad out of me. "So, get me wine while I wait for my junior to stand up again. God, Hyukkie, you emptied me like hell..."

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I just replied with an embarrassed laugh as I tried to stand up, walking towards the kitchen. "That sexy ass is mine!" I heard him yelling from the sofa while I marched on the kitchen; completely naked with all my sexy glory I knew I'm sexy, no doubt. I ignored him and got him wine on a crystal wine class. I smirked then took something with me, wearing it; I marched back to the sitting room where I caught my husband staring at me in awe. I sexily gave him his wine he requested then sat down on his lap, back facing him. "Hyukkie..." He whispered against my nape. I giggled softly, "Neh, hae?" "You're really obviously asking me to have sex with you, huh?" He kissed on my shoulder then continued, "With that sexy strawberry patterned apron on you, baby, I would never hesitate." I chuckled, more than willing to do. After all, it's been a while sense we've been kinky. I'll make the best out of this night. "I love you, Hae... you should always know that." I whispered back. ~*~ So, after few months after my attempt to make Donghae stop, Donghae stayed the same. Though Donghae always tells me that he's still the same who swore to love me for eternity, I can see deep inside that he's not the Donghae he is claiming now. He changed and that's a fact but no matter how much he had changed; changed into a ruthless, cold man, I still love him and I'm willing to stay by his side. But how much more can I endure this? How long would I blame myself for being the reason why Donghae became like this? Donghae might convince me that I'm not the one to be blamed but I know I am. Donghae cares so much for

me that he is willing to do everything just to get the justice I deserve. But I never wanted for him to lose himself along the way. I wanted him to stop. "Where's Donghae, Hyuk?" Sungmin asked me, placing a coffee before me. A sigh escaped my mouth, "Meetings from dawn to dusk." "He never thinks of resting, doesn't he?" Sungmin guessed and I didn't need to answer because we both know the very answer to it. "Why don't you make him stop, Hyuk? I can barely recognize him. Where is the little Donghae who knows how to have fun? The one who gets to think of outings and watching dramas?" I kept quiet. Does he think I don't know that? Of course I do. I'm desperate to make Donghae stop as well but knowing that I'm his lover, I should understand him. I can't just lash out on him. "Hyuk, I know what you feel right now. But you have to be cruel to be kind, hyuk. Donghae would never stop until you tell him right in his face that you aren't happy about this anymore. Revenge... revenge might be a valid reason as to why he's acting like this but sometimes, we just need to stop to enjoy other things in the world. Peace...peace of mind, Hyuk. That's what we need." Sungmin eyed me with such gentleness. "Before you know it, you might lose him too, Hyuk." He added. "No..." I bit my lips. I don't want that to happen. ~*~ "MA~" I called out while I was kicking my shoes off. Weekly or more often as I can, I visit Donghae's mother from time to time. That made me laugh bitterly. Who else am I going to call mother when both my parents are gone? "MA~" I called again. Donghae sometimes would go with me to visit his mother but considering that Donghae was busier than ever, the possibility of visiting together was slim to none. I know his mother was sad about it, that's why I visit her as much as I can.

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I looked around the house for quite a while when she didn't answer. I got worried because usually she would bounce around in happiness if either Donghae or I would come visit her. Or maybe, she just went out somewhere. I should have informed her that I'll be coming today. Sighing, I tried to go to her room to make sure that I didn't miss her. I crept to her bedroom and sighed when I saw a big lump on the bed. Ahhh she's asleep. She should be. Stepping back, I heard her cough. I got alarmed hearing it because it sounded like a heavy one, a cough you can hear from a terribly ill person. I gulped and looked at her. Seeing her face so pale, I felt for her forehead and soon realized she was down with a fever. With her age now, I don't think letting her stay alone in the house was a good idea. I breathed out and called for an ambulance. Waiting for it, I felt her grabbing on my hand as I seated at the edge of the bed. "Hyukkie..." "Yes, ma?" I asked, trembling in fear because that feeling struck me first before the other types of feelings could. "Don't inform Donghae yet." She said and I could have asked why when the ambulance arrived, bringing her sick body to the hospital to monitor her health. In the hospital, she was treated well and the doctor said that she'll be fine and if ever there's sign that she's ill, it might be because of her age and emotional state. I went inside her room and she was smiling at me. I see, she's awake. I smiled back at her as I held her hands, sitting comfortably at the side of the hospital bed. "Are you okay, ma?" "I'm fine." She replied though coughing a little bit more. "What happened, ma?" Hyukjae asked because she knows that this woman right in front of him was the toughest woman he had ever seen and getting ill is something you'd think as something foreign when it comes to her. She rarely gets ill or something because I know she had tried to be tough for her late husband, Donghae and me. She's a tough woman. But why does she look so ill now?

"I went to Donghae yesterday." She started and the sadness was well portrayed in her eyes. "I...don't want Donghae to continue destroying himself anymore, Hyukkie dear." I bit my lower lip. I know that. I feel the same too but Donghae is the type who wouldn't stop unless he achieves his goal and that goal was just around the corner but they can already see that Donghae had already destroyed himself before he could even destroy the other company. "I told him to stop but he wouldn't listen. He told me that he's only one step closer. I'm scared I might...lose him too before he gets...to his plan, Hyukkie. As a mother of a once happy child, it saddens me, seeing him like that." She cried a little and seeing this made me cry right away. I can understand her. "Hyuk, make him stop. Please." She continued and I wanted to assure her that I will but the doctor and nurses already entered and did their scheduled check-up. ~*~ Like always after dinner, Donghae, if ever he happens to have free time, would spare time to watch daily evening news with me. He will laugh from time to time but that's all there was to it, worries will come soon after his laughter. And that is what's missing from Donghae. Looking at the television once again, I spotted the news about a company getting bankrupt and hundreds of workers under the said company lost their jobs. I need not to ask, I stared at Donghae, "Are you happy?" He looked at me then stared back at the news, "They were getting in my way." I closed my eyes tight for a few seconds to prevent myself from lashing out on Donghae. This was too much. The Donghae I loved isn't this cruel and he just needs to stop! "Hae, stop it right now." Donghae as usual looked at me, with his confused brown eyes, "I know where this subject's

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going, Hyuk. And I never wish to stop until I bring that Yachi Co. down." "Hae, I'm tired." I said, standing up. "I'm tired seeing you wake up early morning then go home at midnight, all you do is attend meetings and gigs to make sure you get to be at the top fast. By doing all those, you're making your health fade away. Hae, I can count with my fingers the number of times you smiled for awhile now, a real smile but after those moments, worries eat you up and you can't stay happy for long. Hae, I'm tired of what you've become. I don't know you anymore." "H...Hyuk... don't say...that." "People who care about you are worried about what you've become. Your mom... do you even know that your mom hates it... she got ill because of over-thinking that her son no longer acts like he used to? Your mom can see that, Hae. She misses you." "My mom... sick?" I nodded, "Yes, Hae... but don't worry. She's okay now." Donghae sighs before looking at me, "Hyuk, you should understand... I want this to " "Admit it, Hae. You never were happy of what you're doing now. Hae, peace of mind is what you're longing for at the back of your mind. Please, stop it right now. You're hurting everyone... you're hurting yourself, you're hurting innocent workers, your mom and your friends. And Hae, seeing you like this, it's hurting me." I said. I cried at the moment which I shouldn't be. I should tell him without breaking into tears. "Hyuk," I nodded in understanding, "I wouldn't make you choose, Hae, since I know deep inside that you would never stop. I'll give you space." "Hyuk, what are you talking about?" Donghae was already on his feet, a hand grabbing my arm. I shook his hand away, "Yeah, Hae... I'm going. I can't tolerate myself seeing you change

into something everyone never wanted. I already moved yesterday. I no longer have things here and if ever I forgot something, just tell me so I could collect them when I have the time. Goodluck, Hae." I stood on my toes, placed a peck on his lips before turning around and walking away, taking the first few steps out of his life. But...I will always love him. I do love him. I just wished he'd change back. __________________________ DONGHAE'S POV Stupid, hopeless, arrogant, and ambitious and a monster; those were what I have become. Now, instead of getting what I want, I lost everyone I needed. I lost everyone I loved. I should have become more sensitive towards the people around me. I should have taken the other way, I should have... I don't know what I should have done. Because clearly, I've been living in darkness for the past few years since my father died. I lived through my vengeance and failed to see what's more important than what I've been doing now. I love my parents, I love my friends and I love Hyukjae, no doubt. But why? Thinking back, it's no wonder everyone distanced themselves from me; I'm a monster. No wonder Hyukjae chose to let me go and live the peaceful life he's been wishing for with me. I failed to give him that; instead, I dragged him into the darkest part of the competitive world. I should have known that Hyukjae is a kind and peaceful person. What have I become? I'm blind and stupid. I didn't even notice that my mom was sick and was in the hospital because she was worrying too much about me. I never realized that my friends were eyeing me with pity in their eyes. They knew I've changed and never were happy trying to keep up with others. Shit! I never ever realized that Hyukjae's been packing and planning to leave me until he told me right to my face. He's gone and I was too stupid to let him go. Maybe, I wasn't stupid to let him go because I know he deserves some peace and I can't give him that at the moment. I...I... I love him so much that my heart is breaking just thinking about anything that can remind me of him. I'm so stupid. I should have seen those awkward gummy smiles he had

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been showing me every time I say how I love him. I should have heard him cry at night, I should have listened to him. The more I think about those things I should have done, the more convinced I am as to how wrong I was to choose vengeance first. Damn it. My footsteps decreased in speed as I looked at everybody's faces around me, here at the platform under the subway. I don't know them. Yes, it's always been like this. I don't know exactly who I've been dealing with all this time, all I knew and all that mattered was that I should know people merely because I need them but never did I care about their personal lives. It was like walking at this subway, others were rushing everywhere and trying to compete with everybody's pace just to get in the train first and secure their seats from everyone else; may it be acquaintances or not. They might not know each other but by the main sense that this place was a train station, everyone is expected to get in the train, the train that only comes every 15 minutes. If one loses the timing and perseverance to get in, of course, that certain person would stay longer than the rest and wait for the next train. Because that certain person was slow, he'll get left out. It's the same with life. People may not know each other but by the sense that we are living in the same world with only a few opportunities passing us like a train coming only every 15 minutes, we tend to be competitive to make sure we are the ones who would be able to grab that opportunity and not anyone else. Right now, I see the faces of people with worries plastered on their faces, the uneasiness of waiting for the next train. They looked grumpy and all they're doing was looking at the time; they were restless. When the train finally stops, everyone was pushing against each other just to get in the train; all everyone cared about was to get in even if they pushed elders, children, and everyone else. Cruel; that's all I can say. And that's all I can call myself. I am cruel and it was now clear as to how I looked all that time I was on my vengeance spree. How stupid was I that I can picture myself just like these people getting on the train. All I did was to try to be on top

and I never cared about who I stepped on; I've been ruthless...cruel. Along the busy lines of the boarder, few people were left. But compared to those who had left with the train, these faces I'm seeing never pictured restlessness; little irritation and regret, yes. But they had something else in their faces that I haven't seen in years. Was it the face of peace and comfort? Was it? "We could always get on the next train, Jae." A man approximately my age spoke beside me, a pretty man beside him. "I know, Yunnie. I didn't want to get on that train anyways. It was so busy and full... We wouldn't be able to see each other clearly if we went in there. And...and it'll ruin my beauty." This Jae guy said. The other man chuckled, "Let's stay here. Get more time for ourselves. I might lose you inside that train if we tried to get on that train." Yunnie guy replied. The pretty guy just smiled, pulling the taller man for a big, sloppy kiss. I needed to look away. Why? Well, simple. I'm guilty. It was just like the Yunnie guy said, he might lose his boyfriend inside such a crowded and busy train if they tried hard to get in. And that's exactly what I did to Hyukjae. I dragged Hyukjae with me into the world of competition and that's where I lost him. I lost him along the way. He's gone with the wind. Looking around, I saw more people sitting by the platform, sitting or leaning by the wall but peace of mind was plastered on their faces. They were calm and seem to have all the time in the world. Yes, I think that's what I've been lacking and I do miss it. I do want peace and I want my life back. Seeing this peaceful scene right now, I realized that vengeance was nothing but a piece of crap; a main source of self-destruction and my dad clearly doesn't want me to lead this kind of life that's why he never told me until he died. I could have realized this sooner, yet, I didn't. Right now, I needed to do something.

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~*~ Getting off the non-busy train, I felt calmness in my chest. I realized that riding a train with less pressure and less people cramming was heaven. I felt nice and I feel like I can breathe again. I felt like a renewed person. I was walking along the road and laughing bitterly when I remembered that if I never woke up from my obsession of being at the top, I must be one of the people lining up along the traffic right now, cursing and having my head boiling due to my hectic schedule. But no, not for today and never again. Walking contentedly and having a happy purpose in mind were refreshing, though another kind of worry was eating me up. Finally, I was outside a house where the person I've wanted to see was currently living in. Bravely, I raised my fist to knock on the door but before my knuckle could even hit the door, a person cleared his throat behind me. I dared to look back and saw him...my Hyukjae looking straight at me with bags of groceries in both his hands. "Hyuk." "Come in." Hyukjae smiled at me, giving me the bags then opening the door for both of us. "What brings you here?" He said, his voice sounding formal. I didn't answer him because my eyes gazed around the house. It was full of pictures of no one else's but me and him, happy together. "Sorry about that." Hyukjae said to me, referring to the portraits since he must have seen me looking at them. "They just look so beautiful. I didn't have the heart to throw them out." He said, looking at the portraits. "Hyuk," "Have you eaten? You miss my cooking, don't you?" He sounded so cheerful but I knew better. I knew he's awkward and just pretending that he's at ease.

I shook my head, "Hyuk, I want to talk to you." I said right away. "Okay, but let me get something for you first. Tea and chocolate cake, is that alright?" He asked but he didn't bother to wait for my answer, instead, he went to the kitchen. I followed him knowing the old him and I was right when I heard him sobbing at the corner, his head resting on the fridge's door. "Hyuk," I called and begged him to look at me. He was weak and started crying on my chest. Right now, another string of curses were uttered mentally. I knew by now that Hyukjae had been suffering this much silently. Once again, I'm stupid for not being able to realize this sooner. "I'm sorry, Hyuk. I really am. I understand everything now. Hyuk, come back to me." I said, rubbing his back gently, hoping that he'd reply and stop crying. "H...Hae..." That's all he can say because he was crying so hard that it's making me cry as well. Oh god, how I missed him. "Hyuk, I realized I've been stupid but I stopped. I really stopped and thank you for making me see that I've been leading a horrendous life. Hyuk, you're my everything." I said and added, "I love you so much that when you left, my whole life became a mess...OH no, it already was a mess and I never saw it until you left. Because Hyuk, when you're still by my side, even everything else was a mess, seeing you at the end of the day always made me feel like everything was okay...that it's going be fine. But when you left, I learned that I'm really living like a monster and a flower like you can never live with such a monster like me... I'm willing to change back, Hyuk. Actually, I've already abandoned my desire for vengeance. I just want you with me where my serenity lies. I love you, Hyuk." "Hmmm...I love you too." Hyukjae replied, still on my chest sobbing silently. ~*~ I never breathed like this before, like it was my first fresh air in ages. It was calm and

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relaxing. A little chilly and painful, yes, but it was bearable because these feelings were caused by happiness. BHOOOGHS! "HYUK!" I screamed my death glare boring holes on his cute, adorable face. "I won, Mr. Lee Donghae." He replied a snowball from his left palm soon landed on my face. Yup, he threw snowballs at me twice in a row now. I stood up covered in snow, half a foot thick. A big snowman was sitting in front of me; it's a little incomplete but it'll be finished soon. I soon pouted when I saw the other snowman was already finished and that made me realize what Hyukjae meant when he said that he won. I smiled, yes, he won at the snowman-making game and I admit that I lost...but it didn't give me a bad negative feeling, instead, it made me smile knowing the other enjoyed this childish competition between them. Another snowball landed on my face and I saw him grinning at me adorably with his gummy smile I've grown to adore. "You... Mrs. Lee Hyukjae!" I yelled at him and I unconsciously felt for the ring underneath my mittens. "Hae!" He screamed when I caught him in my grasp, arms circling his thin waist underneath the heavy winter's coat. Yup, I called him Mrs. Lee Hyukjae. We're married; newlyweds. Though we had been engaged for nearly six years now, we were only officially married last month. It was funny as to how it took so long and how embarrassing it was for Hyukjae that he had to wait for me. I was drawn to the dirty side of the world that I had forgotten to marry the love of my life but now that I've woken up from that nightmare, I married him with the most beautiful wedding a Lee Donghae can provide. "Let go!" I chuckled in reply, not complying with what he said, "What do you want to have since you

won?" Hyukjae hummed and thought for a while but ended up shaking his head, "I have everything I need. So nothing, Hae." I grinned, "What about...a kid, Hyuk? We need one." "I can't get pregnant, Hae..." Hyukjae reminded. "We can adopt, you, silly." I muttered then I heard him laughing so hard until he dragged me inside the house where my mother was preparing some delicious hot soup, wonderful enough to warm them up for the cold winter days. Hyukkie then stopped and looked me in the eye. He tiptoed and whispered, "Actually, I've been expecting for you to say that, that's why..." "...that's why...?!" "I got us some kids!" Hyukjae said and smiled widely at me. "I don't understand, Hyuk." I said honestly. I really don't understand what the little monkey was talking about. That was until my mom interrupted us by calling names I've never heard before. "Minho! Taemin! Onew! Key! Jonghyun!" My mother called and little kids around 3-5 years old appeared from upstairs like magic or at least that was what my shocked mind processed. Hyukjae beamed, "I wanted to adopt too, Hae, because I know you used to dream about having a kid you'll raise with me. They were all orphans and they are good kids." Hyukjae explained. "Where are they from?" I only asked. "They are from around Seoul... Saint Shisus Orphanage." "Are they here for long?" I asked, looking at the adorable kids now sitting at the table,

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drinking soup my mom prepared. Hyukjae bit his lower lip guiltily, "Well, a month ago. Since we were busy and never visited mom here, you never get to see them." He pouted. "Ma~" "They're okay. They are great company." My mother said right away, obviously enjoying nursing the little kids. "Five of them?" I asked, slowly accepting the sudden kids around me. Hyukjae chuckled, "You joking me? Ahaha." He snickered once again then stopped when he saw me pouting. "Taemin is Heechul's and Hangeng-hyung's adopted son. Onew is Yesung's and Ryeowook's. Key is Kyuhyun's and Sungmin's. Jonghyun is not an orphan. Siwon, the owner of the orphanage is his father." Hyukjae explained. "So, the only one left is... Minho?" Hyukjae nodded excitedly, "Yes! Minho will be our kid! Do you like him? He's so cute and handsome, Hae..." I smiled at Hyukjae, "Yes, he is." I said and went closer to the little kid who was the tallest among the rest. He looked at me with his big, curious eyes. "You're my son now, Minho-ah." I placed my palm on his head gently. The little kid smiled gratefully, jumping off the chair and reaching for my leg, that's all his little form could reach. "Thank you, daddy." He replied. I lifted him up and hugged him like he was another piece of the puzzle I've longed to find. Staring at the scene unfolding beautifully in front of me, I can't help but thank the reason why I lived to see this. Hyukjae, oh you beautiful man, I love you and thank you. I got all of these because I waited contentedly and separated myself from the destructive world of competition and vengeance. I managed to save the last people I have because I was no longer scared of being left behind. I know now that always being first wouldn't

always result to happiness. Once in a while, we need to consider slowing down to get a breather and enjoy life to the fullest. I'm enjoying it now with my family and friends.

~end~