› documents › divorcewithconfidence...ised ader arai Wdcc A r a r 1 4610255 2 The emotional impact of a divorce is difficultto explain to anyone who has not personally dealt with

Published by:Nader, Naraghi & Woodcock, A Prof Law Corp

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HAMID NARAGHI, Esq.*WILLIAM E. WOODCOCK, Esq.*Certified Specialist, Family LawState Bar of California Board of Legal Specialization

HOW TO BE IN CONTROL OF YOUR CALIFORNIA DIVORCEA PRACTICAL GUIDE

DIVORCEWITH

CONFIDENCE

YOU AREHERE


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Theemotionalimpactofadivorceisdifficulttoexplaintoanyonewhohasnotpersonallydealtwithit.Tothosewhohavenotbeentouchedbydivorce,noexplanationispossible;andtothosewhohavedealtwithdivorce,noexplanationisnecessary.Butwhenfacedwithanychallenge,theoneswhoperseverearetheoneswhostaycomposed,gatherqualifiedinformationandmakewisechoices.Ihopethatthecontentsofthisbookprovideyouwiththeinformationthatwillhelpyoumakewisechoicesandpersevere.

Whengoingthroughadivorce,it’simportanttoknowwhatliesahead–tohavearoadmapoftheprocesssothatyoucanbestprepareforit,practicallyaswellasemotionally.Byfollowingthisroadmap,youwillhaveanoverviewofthedivorceprocess.Thiswillallowyoutobecomeandremainorganized.This,inturn,willhelpyoustayincontrolandachievethebestpossibleoutcomewiththeleastamountofanxiety.

Asyouprogressthroughthedivorceprocess,it’snaturaltobecomeoverwhelmed.Returntotheroadmapoftensothatyoucanreevaluateyoursituationandbringyourselfbackoncourse.Usetheroadmaptoregroupwhenyoufeellost.

Thekey to theRoadmapof adivorce is todistinguishbetween theproceduralaspectsofadivorce(thesubjectofthisbook)andthesubstantiveones(whichshouldbediscussedwithyourlawyer).Thisdistinctionisimportantinyourthoughtprocessaswellasintheorganization,discussion,evaluation,negotiationandcompletionofyourdivorce.

Theproceduralaspects,whichwewilldiscussindetail,relatetotheredtapethatyoumustgothroughwiththecourts.Rememberthatadivorceistechnicallyalawsuit.Alawsuit,andthereforethisproceduraloutline,has:

1.ABeginning,2.AMiddle,and3.AnEnd

The substantive aspects relate to the actual matters that must be addressed and resolved. The details of the law on the substantive aspects are too voluminous to discuss in a book and are filled with exceptions, and exceptions to exceptions... So with the organization structure that I provide, make sure to discuss each as they apply with your lawyer and have a good understanding of the law as it pertains to your specific situation.

INTRODUCTION


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InCalifornia, there are basically five substantive categories thatmust be dealtwith–whether it isacomplicatedhigh-assetdivorce,or theaveragecouple, thesamesubstantiveoutlinewillapply.Thefivecategoriesare:

1.ChildCustody&Visitation(aka:parentingplan),IFtherearechildrenofthismarriage.2.ChildSupport(includinghealthinsurancefortheminorchildren),IFtherearechildrenofthismarriage,3.SpousalSupport(akaalimony)4.PropertyDivision5.LegalFees

That’sit.Everysubstantiveissuethatyouwilldealwithduringadivorcewillfitintooneoftheabovecategories.Realizingthisatthebeginning,middleandtheendofyourdivorcewillhelpyouorganizeyourthoughts,establishastrategy,stayonpointinyourdiscussions,andmakesurethatyouhavehitallthepointsinyoursettlement.

Byfollowingthisroadmapbeforeandduringadivorceprocess,youwillremainknowledgeable and in control, andwith knowledge and control comes the confidencetomake the right decision as you proceedwith this difficult and important financial,emotionalandpersonaltimeofyourlife.


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HAMID NARAGHI

HamidNaraghiisafoundingpartnerinthestatewidelitigationlawfirmofNader,Naraghi&Woodcock,APLC,(www.nnwlegal.com),theformerpresidentofDivorceHelpline,astatewidefamilylawmediationfirm,andaco-founderofSmartLegalSolutions,anonprofitfamilylawserviceprovidingfamilylawassistanceforlowincomeindividuals.An attorney since 1997, Hamid has gained extensive experiencein litigation, mediation and alternative dispute resolution. Hisbackgroundasalitigatingattorney,mediator,arbitrator,privatejudge,licensedrealestatebroker,formerpoliceofficer,mediationinstructor,andauthorprovidehimwithauniqueperspectivethatenableshimtoanalyze and formulate a strategy for resolving complicatedmattersappropriatelydependingonthespecificcircumstancesofthecaseandthepartiesinvolved.

WILLIAM E. WOODCOCK

Bill Woodcock is a Certified Family Law Specialist,certified by the Board of Legal Specialization of the StateBar of California. He is a founding partner in the statewidelitigation law firm of Nader, Naraghi & Woodcock, APLC (www.nnwlegal.com), the vice-president of Divorce Helpline(www.divorcehelp.com) as well as a co-founder of Smart LegalSolutions.Bothanexperiencedmediatorandanexperiencedlitigator,Bill has argued beforeCaliforniaAppellateCourts on internationalchild custodydisputes andHague abduction cases, is certified as apro-temJudge,andactsasanArbitratorinmandatoryfeearbitrationsbetweenattorneysandclients.Formanyyears,Billhasworkedcloselywith psychological professionals to address the developmental andpsychologicalneedsofchildrenduringthedivorceprocess,anareaofparticularconcernforhim.

ABOUT THE AUTHORS


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HAMID NARAGHI, Esq.*WILLIAM E. WOODCOCK, Esq.*CertifiedSpecialist,FamilyLawStateBarofCaliforniaBoardofLegalSpecialization

Editedby:AmirA.Nader

DIVORCE WITH CONFIDENCE

A PRACTICAL GUIDE

HOW TO BE IN CONTROL OFYOUR CALIFORNIA DIVORCE


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Greatcarehasbeentakentoensuretheaccuracyandutilityoftheinformationcontainedinthisbook,butnowarrantyismade,expressorimplied,andneitherNader,Naraghi&Woodcock,APLCnortheauthorsassumeanyliabilityinconnectionwithanyuseorresultfromuseoftheinformationorformscontainedherein.

Thisbookisnotintendedtointerferewithalawyer-clientrelationship,thereadershoulddefertotheirlawyerforspecificlegaladvice.Thisbookistobeusedforreferenceandeducationonly.

©2019byHamidNaraghiISBN-13:978-0-578-54484-7

Allrightsreserved.Nopartofthispublicationmaybereproduced,storedinaretrievalsystem,ortransmitted,inanyformorbyanymeans,electronic,mechanical,photocopying,recording,orotherwise,withoutthepriorpermissionofthepublisher.PrintedintheUnitedStatesofAmerica.

With permission from the publisher, portions of this book incorporatesmaterial fromHow toManageaContestedDivorceinCalifornia,publishedbyNoloPressOccidentalandwrittenbyEdSherman,HamidNaraghiandBillWoodcock.


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1.YOUAREHERE................................................................................................................................13

Part One: Solving problems out of court

2.HOWADIVORCECASEBEGINSANDWHENITBECOMESCONTESTED............................173.HOWTOGETOUTOFTHELEGALSYSTEM..............................................................................204.HOWTONEGOTIATEANAGREEMENT.......................................................................................275.WHATTODOWHENYOUREACHFULLORPARTIALAGREMENT.......................................32

Part Two: Preparation: where cases are won or lost

6.HOWTOPLANANDPREPAREYOURCASE.............................................................................357.WORKINGWITHANATTORNEY...................................................................................................428.HOWTOGETTHEINFORMATIONYOUNEED...........................................................................51

Part Three: Solving problems in court

GROUP A: RFOs & TROs –Where most problems get solved9.BASICS......................................................................................................................................... .....5610.MOTIONS.................................................................................................................................... .....6011.PREPARINGFORANRFOORTRO........................................................................................ ......6312.HOWTODOAREQUESTFORORDER(RFO)............................................................................7313.HOWTODOATEMPORARYRESTRAININGORDER(TRO)........................................... .......7514.RESPONDINGTOANRFOORTRO……............................................................................. ........8015.PRESENTINGYOURCASEATTHEHEARING.................................................................. .........8716.HOWTODOORDERSAFTERTHEHEARING.................................................................. .........92

GROUP B: GETTING INFORMATION17.DISCOVERY....................................................................................................................................9618.COMPELLINGDISCOVERYINCOURT.....................................................................................135

GROUP C: OTHER PROCEDURES19.VOCATIONAL(andother)EXAMINATIONS................................................................................15020.PARENTINGPROGRAMSANDMANDATORYMEDIATION...................................................15721.STATUS-ONLYJUDGMENT..........................................................................................................161

GROUP D: TAKING YOUR CASE TO TRIAL22.AT-ISSUEMEMORANDUM...........................................................................................................16623.SETTLEMENTCONFERENCES....................................................................................................17124.MOTIONTOPOSTPONETHETRIAL..........................................................................................17925.GOINGTOTRIAL...........................................................................................................................18326.GETTINGYOURJUDGMENT.......................................................................................................19027.AFTERTHEJUDGMENT................................................................................................................192

TABLE OF CONTENTS


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Dedicated to the millions of Californians who must carry one of life’s heaviest burdens through

a treacherous, dysfunctional legal system.

Coverandbookdesign:HedyehNaderInterior:HamidNaraghiandWilliamWoodcockEditor:AmirA.Nader

SpecialThanksWithgratitudetotheoutstandinglegalteamatNader,Naraghi&Woodcock,APLC:BillWoodcock,AmirA.Nader,HaroldJ.Stanton,MarianStanton,NeetaPatelandElviraRomeroCordoba,fortheirtirelessandunparalleled

legalrepresentationofclientsthroughoutCalifornia.

Andaboveall,totheamazingEdSherman,whowastheoriginalinspirationtothisbookandtheimprovementofthefamilylawsystemsincetheearly1970s.

Thanks,Ed!


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Start with the right kind of help If you are contemplating a divorce, or if a divorce has been thrust upon you, among the firstdecisionsyouneedtomakeisthekindofhelpyouneed,ifany.Themostcommontypesofhelpavailableduringadivorceinclude:

A.VariationsontheDo-It-YourselfdivorceB.MediationC.HiringaLawyer

A. There are many variations of do-it-yourself divorce services available today, ranging from self-helpbooks,documentpreparationservices,andonlinedivorcepackages,someevenwithconsultingattorneyswhowillanswerquestionsaboutyourrightsandoptionsbutwithoutrepresentingyou.Proceedwithcaution ifyoudecide thatoneof these servicesmayappropriate foryou. Theymaybe suitablefor a very simple divorce, but themore issues involved, themore concerned you should be that thisoption,whileprobablytheleastexpensive,mayleavetoomuchatrisk.A“verysimpledivorce”forourdiscussionisonewhere:

1.You’vebeenmarriedforaveryshortamountoftime(lessthan5years)2.Youhavenochildrentogether3.Thereisnoneedforfinancialsupportfromtheotherspouse4.Therearenomajorassetstodealwith,suchasanyinterestinabusiness,realestate,intellectualproperty(copyrights,patents,etc.),orretirementaccounts.

Under thesecircumstances, there is little to lose ifmistakesaremade,or if thingsaremissed.Butwith theexistenceofanyoneormoreof theabove,youare takingarisk thatamistake,errororomissioninthestepsinthedivorceprocess,includinghowwellthefinalpaperworkisdone,couldhavedevastatingconsequences.Unfortunately,peopleunderstandablyassumethatbecausethecourtacceptedthe documents, theymust be donewell, and theymust be protected. Nothing could be further fromthe truth. The court’s acceptance of the documents ismerely an acknowledgment that theminimumprocedural steps were taken to get your documents through the red tape. Proceed with caution. B. Mediation may be a suitable option, if you and your spouse can negotiate in good faith,AND:

1. the mediator has the appropriate education, experience, ability, and temperament to oversee yournegotiations.Notallmediatorsarecreatedequalandthemoreissuesareinvolved(seeabove),themoreimportantthemediator’squalificationsandabilitybecome.

2.themediatorisawareofandwillremainaneutralandimpartialmediator.Toomanymediatorseithermisunderstandthisnecessarycomponentordriftoutofthisresponsibilityasthemediationprogresses,andbegintoexpresstheiropinions,takesides,orattempttopredicttheoutcomeifthecaseweretoeverbepresentedtoajudge.

3.Eachspousecanstandupandspeakforthemselves.Mediationissometimesusedbyaspousetokeepacaseoutofthehandsofalawyerandoutofthecourtssothattheirpositionwillbeunchallenged.Knowyourspouse,andyourselfwell.Ifyouhavedoubts,thenyoumaywanttousealawyerwhocanwatchoutforyouandnegotiateonyourbehalf.Moreonthislaterinthebook.


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C.Hiringalawyerwillbethecostliestoftheoptions.However,if1)youhavepotentiallycomplicatedissues,2)yourcasehasproblems,or3)yourcaseiscontested,havingagoodattorneyisamust!Underthesecircumstances,therightattorneycanactuallysaveyoufromtensofthousands,allthewaytomillionsofdollarsinassetvalueaswellaslegalfees;butthat’sassumingyouusethisbook,orsomeothermethodof educating and enablingyourself to superviseyour lawyer and remain an activeparticipant inyourdivorcealongwithyourlawyer.Realizethataswithanyotherprofessional,alllawyersarenotcreatedequal in termsof experience, knowledge, temperament, ability, and sensitivity. Youmust select yourattorneycarefully.Otherwise,ontopofdealingwithallofthecomplicationsofthedivorceitself,youmayfindyourselfdealingwithanattorneywhoactuallycausesmoreproblemsthantheysolve,andtheychargeyoualotofmoneytodoit.Moreonhowtoselecttherightattorneylaterinthisbook…

1.Potentiallycomplicatedissuesmayexistif:•Youhavealong-termmarriage(10ormoreyears)•Youandyourspousehavechildrentogether(naturaloradopted)•There is a need for financial support from your spouse and/or there is a significant earningdifferencebetweenthetwoofyou•Thereare,ormaybe,majorassetstodealwith,suchasanyinterestinabusiness,realestate,intellectualproperty(copyrights,patents,etc.),orretirementaccounts.

2.Yourcasehasproblemsif:

•Youarenotsafeandfinanciallystableforatleastafewmonths,or•Yourparentingarrangementsarenotacceptablerightnow,or•Youthinkyourexmighttrytopullafastone,or•Youcan’tgetinformationneededtodecidewhat’syours,or•Toomuchupsetononesideortheothertoworkanythingout,or•Thingsaredraggingonandgoingnowhereandthat’snotokay

3.Yourcaseiscontestedif•PetitionandResponsefiled;and•Yourspousestartslegalactivity;or•Youneedcourtordersforcustodyorsupport;or•Apreemptivestrikeisneededtobeattheothersidetothepunch;or•Legalactionisrequiredtogetinformationordocuments;or•Agreementcan’tbereachedthroughnegotiation

Whiletheexistenceofanyoneoftheabovedoesn’tnecessarilymeanthatyourcaseiscomplicated,theydoelevatetheconcernformakingsurenoneofyourlegalrightsareleftunexplored.


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Foradditionalhelptomakeyourdivorceandcommunicationsmoother,IhighlyrecommendHowtoMAKEANYDIVORCEBETTER.https://nolotech.com/divorce-books/make-any-divorce-better/

It contains specific steps you can take to reduce upset,insecurity,conflict,protectchildren.HowtotalktoyourEx,howtonegotiate,howtoorganizeyourfacts,documentsandyourthinking.

Theremainderofthisbookiswrittentohelpthosewhohavedecidedtohireanattorney.Itwilleducateyouinthelegalprocessandshouldbeusedasareferenceinconjunctionwithaknowledgeableand experienced family law attorney so that you can intelligentlyparticipateandworkwithyourattorneytowardsasuccessfuldivorce.Iunderstandthatsomeofthereadersmayberepresentingthemselvesormayhavespouseswhoarerepresentingthemselves.Forsimplicity,inmanyplacesinthebook,Ireferto“you.”Thisshouldincludeyouand/oryourlawyer.InotherplacesIrefertoyourspouse,thisshouldincludeyourspouseand/orhis/herlawyer.Forexample,whereIrefertoyoucommunicatingwithyourspouse,ifbothofyouarerepresented,thenitwillbethelawyerscommunicatingwitheachother.


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CHAPTER 1YOU ARE HERE —whichwaytogoandwhatittakestogetthere.

A.DealwithemergenciesfirstB.ThreewaysyoucangoinyourcaseC.Whatittakestogetwhereyouwanttogo

Deal with emergencies first

Inthelegalsystem,anemergencyissomethingthatrequirescourtordersandcan’twaittheseveralormanyweeksthatittakestogetahearingonamotion.Youhaveanemergencyifyouhavegoodreasontobelievethat,unlessyougetimmediatecourtorders,somethingbadwillhappenverysoon.Forexample:

•Youoryourchildrenareinimminentdanger;or•Propertywillbetaken,transferred,wasted,orhidden;or•Ourchildrenwillbephysicallyremovedorhiddenawayfromyou;or•Legalpapershavebeenservedonyouthatrequireyoutoshowupincourtverysoon.

Ifyouhaveanemergency,goimmediatelytochapters7andfindanattorneyusingthesuggestionsprovided.Comebackherelaterandpickupwhereyouleftoff.

A

Three ways you can go in your case

Atanygivenpointinanycase,thereareonlythreethingsyoucando:1.Takelegalaction2.Negotiate3.Donothing

Asageneralrule,youshouldalwaysencourageandworktowardanegotiatedsettlementunlessthereisagoodreasonnotto.Inmanysituations,youcantakelegalactionandnegotiateatthesametime.

B

YOU AREHERE


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1. Reasons to choose legal actiona.Emergency...................................................................(chapters10-13)b.Respondtoactionfromtheotherside........................(chapter14)c.Getneededinformation................................................(chapter17)d.Strategicneedforaction.............................................(seebelow)e.Putpressureonnegotiations,movecaseforward........(seebelow)

2. Reasons you would choose NOT to negotiate Youshouldalwaysencouragenegotiationandwork towardasettlementunless there isagoodreasonnotto.Usingtechniquesinchapters3and4,peoplewhomightotherwisefalleasilyintoconflictcannowfindnewopportunitiestomakenegotiationwork.However...

•Sometimeslegalactionisrequiredtogetnegotiationtoworkandyouendupdoingbothatthesametime.Forexample,yourspousehasbeendraggingfeetoravoidingyou,soyoufileamotionandthepressureofacourtdatecomingupgetsthingsmoving.•Therearetimesandsituationswhereyoushouldnotnegotiate,oratleastnotyet:

a.Youaredealingwithanabusiveorcontrollingspouseb.Youhaveastrategicneedforlegalactionfirstc.Yourspouserefusestogiveyoucopiesofessentialdocumentsd.Thereareuncontrollablelevelsofupset,fear,orangeroneitherside

a)Abusiveorcontrollingspouse.Abuseisfundamentallyamatterofdominationandcontrol,andincludeseverythingfrompsychologicalmanipulation tophysicalattack.To theabusivespousethecourtlookslikeanewweapontouseagainstyou.Almostanydegreeofefforttodominateandcontrolyouqualifiesyourspouseasanabuserandservesasanindicationthatyouhavebetterthingstodobeforeyoustartnegotiating.First,youneedtotakesomelegalactiontogetintoapositionofstrengthandtoestablishstructureforyournegotiations—thenyoucantrytonegotiate.

b) Strategic need for action. In certain situations, orders may be needed immediately, beforeyou start negotiating. In other cases, youwill use legal action to improve the effectiveness ofnegotiation.Itisoftenpossibletotakelegalactionandnegotiateatthesametime.

• Emergencies. If you have an immediate need for protection for you, your children, or yourproperty,youneeda restrainingorder right awayand there’sno time to stopand talk. Ifyourspouse is going to take thekids andgoover theborder, youneed anorder to try to stop thatinstantly.Ifyouhavenomoneytoliveonandyourspousehassomebutwon’tgiveyouany,youneedtofileasupportorderimmediately.

•Underattack.Iftheothersideisthrowinglegalactionatyou,youneedtostandupandassertyourself,takesomelegalactionsofyourown,andsortthingsoutbeforeyoucansettleintotalks.Youdon’twanttonegotiatefromweaknesswhileundersiege.

•Childcustodyorders.Hereisanunfortunatefeatureofourlegalsystem:whenitcomestocustodyandvisitation,statusquo(thewaythingshavebeenforawhile)iseverything.Ifthechildrenaredoingokay,thenthewayparentinghasbeenworkingwhenyougettocourtisthewaythingswillprobablystayunlessyouhaveatrulypowerfulcaseorcangetavoluntaryagreementtochangethings.So,ifyourspouseisunwillingtocooperateinastableandreliableparentingarrangementthatisagreeabletoyou,youmightbebetteroffgoingstraighttocourtratherthancontinuingtonegotiatetochangeasituationthatyoudon’twant,therebygivingittimetobecome“status


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quo.”Sometimes,gettingtherightparentingarrangementimmediatelyisveryimportantifitlookslikeyouareeventuallygoingtoendupinacustodybattleanyway.Takelegalactionbutkeepnegotiatingtoo,ifpossible,tryingtogetanagreementforareasonablestatusquoyoucanlivewith.

•Firsttoaccuse.AnotherterriblefeatureofoursystemisthattherecouldbeanadvantagetobeingthefirsttoaccusetheotherthroughanRequestforOrder(RFO)seekingtemporaryrestrainingorders(TROs).Ifthefirsttoaccusegetsanimmediatecustodyorder,thecourtprocesscoulddragonformonthsbeforeyoufinallygetahearingwhen,ifthechildisdoingokay,thejudgeisnotlikelytochangethestatusquothatthe“temporary”ordercreated.Thismeansthatinadoubtfulsituation,youcan’twaitfortheotherparenttoaccuseyouofsomething.Youdon’twanttojumpattheotherparent’sthroat,butyoumustbeawareoftheproblemifyourspouse’sattorneydecidestojumpatyours.Ifyoufearthispossibilityandwanttoavoidit,youhavetwochoices:(1)getintogoodcommunicationwithyourspousesothathe/shewon’taccuseyou,or(2)fileyourRFO/TROfirst.Whenthereisnovalidbasisforanaccusation,itmighthelptogowithyourspousetoacounselorormediator.However,ifyourspouseisanabuser/controller,itisn’tlikelytoworkandyouneedtorealizethatyouaresubjecttoattack.

•Supportorder.Thelegalobligationforsupportdoesn’tstartuntil thereisanagreementoranorder.Thismeans thatyoucan’tgoback for support thatwasn’tpaid toyoubeforeyoufileamotionforsupport.Therefore,ifyouarenotgettingadequatesupportrightnowrelativetotheamountyourspouseearns,youmightdecidethatitisworthittofileamotionatonceforsupportorders.Ifyoudo,keepnegotiating, ifpossible.Thisactioncouldincreasethelevelofconflict,sothinkcarefullyandbesureit’sworthitbeforeyoutakethisstep.Ontheotherhand,ifyourspouseisacontrollingabuser,youmaynothavemuchtolose.Keepnegotiating,ifpossible,whilelegalactionproceeds.Anotherwaytocreateanobligationtopaysupportthatbeginsnow,otherthanimmediatelyfilingamotion,isforyouandyourspousetoenterintoanagreementthatanysupportordermadebythecourtwithinanagreed-uponperiodoftimewillcommenceonthedateyouagreeupon.Forexample,youmightagreethatanysupportorderenteredbythecourtinthenextsixmonthswillcommenceonthecurrentweek—meaningifnegotiationsfail,andyoufileamotion,evenifthejudgeentersthesupportorderthreemonthsfromnowyourspouse’ssupportobligationwillbedeemedtohavestartedthisweek.Thiscangiveyoutimetonegotiateasupportorderandtakeawaythepressuretofileafullmotionimmediately.Thistypeofagreementiscalledastipulationandorder:anagreementwithyourspousethatisreducedtowritingandfiledwiththecourtandbecomesacourtorder.

•Strategicorders.Insomecases,forstrategicreasonsyouwillwantordersbeforeyounegotiate.Forexample,youareatadisadvantageandwanttobargainfromstrength,soyouuseastrategiclegalactiontoimproveyourposition.Ifyourcaselacksstructureandclarity,amotiontoadvancesomesmallpartofyourcasecangiveyourentiresituationsomestructure.Acourthearingcanbe likea realitycheck—itstripsaway illusions.Or, let’s sayyourcase is stalledbecauseyourspousewon’tpayattention,cooperate,andtakecareofbusiness,soyoumakeamotiontogetyourspouse’sattentionfocusedonthenegotiation.Ifahearingisfastapproaching,thepressureisontoworkthingsout.

c) Spouse refuses to give you essential information.You can certainly start to negotiate andmakegettinginformationandcopiesofdocumentsatoppriority,butatsomepointitbecomesarequirementforfurthernegotiation.

First,trytogetwhateveryouneedyourself,usingthemethodsinchapter8.Foritemsyoucan’tget


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thatway,makepolite,thenfirm,requestsforwhatyouneed,thenfinallyademandbyacertaindate.Ifyourspousestillwon’tgiveyouwhatyouneed,youmuststopnegotiatingandstartdiscovery.Don’twastetime;startrightaway.Whenyouhavetheinformationanddocumentsyouneed,youmightbereadytonegotiateagain.

d)Uncontrollablelevelsofupset,fear,orangeroneitherside.Youcan’tnegotiatebusinessissueswhen either side is in a highly emotional state and unable to control it.You should notmakeimportantdecisionsifyourownjudgmentisnotreliable.Chapters3and4tellyouhowtodealwithemotionalissuessoyoucangetdowntobusiness.

3. Reasons to choose to do nothing Veryoften,doingnothing,especiallyinthelegalsystem,isthebestthingyoucando.Assumingyourlivingsituationisreasonablysafeandstableforatleastthenextfewweeksormonths,andassumingthatyoudon’tneedcourtactionforanyofthereasonsdiscussedabove,doingnothingforawhileallowsemotionstocoolandgivesyourspousetimetogetusedtotheideathatthedivorceishappening,orgetusedtowhatthelawrequires,ortonewideasthatyouhaveproposedinsettlementtalks.

Which Way To Go, What it Takes

What it takes to get where you want to go

Whatittakes Effort.Youhavealottolearnandthedeeperyougetintoconflict,themorecomplicateditgets.Goingthroughalegaldivorceiswork,evenifyouhaveagoodattorneyrepresentingyou,andthismightbethemostimportantjobyoueverundertake.Likeanynewactivity,youhavetoworkextrahardtolearnit.Workhard,gethelp,doagoodjob,andyouwillbewellpaidforyoureffort.

Organization. Youneedtobeverymeticulousanddetailedonthisjob.Don’ttakethislightly!Youneedtokeepupwiththedetailsandstayorganized.

Objectivity. It iswidelysaidthatalawyerwhorepresentshimselfhasafoolforaclient.Thisisbecausea lawyermustbeobjective.Thosewhorepresent themselvesveryoften failatmaintainingobjectivityyoumuststruggletobeobjective.ThisisoneofthereasonsIrecommendthatyouretainaqualifieddivorce attorney.The right lawyerbrings experienceandobjectivity toyour case.Themoreemotionalyouare,themoreyouneedassistance.

Confidence.Ittakesconfidencetoeffectivelymanageyourdivorce.Youcan’tbeafraidofface-to-facenegotiationswiththeothersideorgoingtocourt,otherwiseyoucanbebulliedintoacceptinglessthanyouareentitledto.Theinformationinthisbook,alongwithhavingaqualifiedandreliableattorney,canhelpyougainconfidence.

What to do next Ifyouneedtotakeimmediatelegalaction,orrespondimmediatelytolegalactionagainstyou,gotoPartsTwoandThree.Otherwise,goontochapter2andlearnhowthelegalsystemworksandhowtomaketalkingwithyourspouseeffectiveandproductive.

C


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CHAPTER 2HOW A DIVORCE CASE BEGINS

AND WHEN IT BECOMES CONTESTED

AdivorcecasestartswhenonespousefilesaPetitionandservesitontheotherspouse.Iftheotherspousedoesnothing,andthepetitionwasdoneproperly,Petitionergoesthroughsomeredtapeandit’sfinished.Unlesstherewasawrittenagreement,theotherspousehadnosayintheprocess.Iftheotherspousedoeswanttoparticipate,heorshemustfileaResponse.TheResponsegivestheotherspouseequalstandingwithPetitioner,sofromthispointforwardneitherpartyhastheadvantage;theyareequalsbeforethelaw.

Warning:HowToPrepareaPetitionforDefault.WhenyouserveyourspousewithaPetitionforDissolution,andyourspousedoesnotrespond,youmayrequestthatthecourtenteryourspouse’sDe-fault,essentiallyexcludinghimorherfromparticipatinganyfurtherinthedivorcecase.Itisimportanttounderstandthatafteracourtentersyourspouse’sDefault,andsubsequentlyyoueithersubmitaproposedDefaultJudgmentorconductaDefaultTrial,youwillbelimitedtothespecificrequestsyoumadeinyourPetition.Assuch,whenyoususpectthatyourspousemaynotfileaResponseorotherwiseappearinyourdivorcecase,itisimportantthatyoudetailinyourPetitioneveryorderthatyouwillwishtorequest.

Ifyouwanttomaintaintheoptionofproceedingbydefault,thenyourPetitionshouldincludeacustodyplan,shouldspecifyassetsanddebts(andtheirvalues),whetheranassetordebtiscommunityorseparate,andtowhomarespectiveassetordebtwillbeconfirmed.Ifthereisanequalizingpaymenttheamountofthepayment,thedateofpayment,andwherethepaymentwillcomefromshouldbespecified.Ifthereisarequestforchildorspousalsupport,theamount,commencementdate,dayofthemonthofpayment,etc.shouldallbeclear.YoushouldincludeaprovisionthattheRespondentwillsignalldoc-umentsnecessarytoeffectuatethecourt’sorders,andifheorshedoesnot,theCourtClerkmaysignintheirstead.Yougetthepicture:everyorderyouwouldrequestataDefaultTrialshouldbespecified.Oth-erwise,youwillberequiredtoamendyourPetition,refileit,re-serveyourspouseandstartwithanother30-daytimeperiod.

ServedwithaPetition?YouhaveonlythirtysafedaystofileyourResponsebeforePetitionerwillbeallowedto“takeyourdefault.”Petitionercantakeuptotwoyears,possiblymore,tofiletheDefaultform,butitcan’tbedonesoonerthan30daysafteryouwereserved.Oncetheclerkentersyourdefault,youcan’tparticipateinyourowndivorcewithoutgoingtoalotoftroubletofileamotiontohavethedefaultsetaside.So,ifyouwanttotakepartinyourowndivorce,playitsafeandfileaResponsewithinthefirstthirtydaysafteryouwereserved.

Pure Default

Default

PETITION

JUDGMENTPRE-TRIAL MOTION

SETTLEMENT AGREEMENT

NEGOTIATION BETWEEN PARTIES and/or ATTORNEYS

DISCOVERY

CUSTODY MEDIATION

SETTLEMENT CONFERENCES

TRIALTHE

LEG

AL

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VIEW OF THE LEGAL DIVORCE ON A TIME LINESTEP OUT OF THE LEGAL SYSTEM

whenever you can reach an agreementHERE’S ANOTHER VIEW OF THE LEGAL DIVORCE ON A TIME LINE

This is where the big money is spentOnly 5% of all cases end up in trial

RESPONSE

PETITION

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The Legal System Judge Decides

RESPONSE

JUDGMENTSETTLEMENT AGREEMENT

NO RESPONSE

Contested

Pure DefaultDefault

PETITION

Isitcontestedyet?OnceaResponseisfiled,thecaseis“contested,”butonlytechnically,becausenolegalproceedinghasbeeninitiatedyet.Nothingishappeningincourt:nomotions,noapplicationsfororders,nodemandsfordiscovery.Respondenthasmerelyjoinedthecase.Whetherornotthereisalotoflegalactivitydependsonhowyougoaboutsolvingproblemsandresolvingdifferences,andtowhatextenteitherpartyuseslegaltoolsandprotectionsalongtheway.

OncetheResponseisfiled,thereareonlytwowaysyoucangetyourJudgment:1)thepartiesreachanagreementonalllegalissues(property,support,children),or2)thepartiestaketheircasetocourtandletthejudgedecideanyissuestheycan’tagreeon.

When a Case Becomes Contested

Motions | Hearings | Discovery | Custody Mediation | Settlement Conferences | Trial

Pure Default

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DISCOVERY

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whenever you can reach an agreementHERE’S ANOTHER VIEW OF THE LEGAL DIVORCE ON A TIME LINE

This is where the big money is spentOnly 5% of all cases end up in trial

RESPONSE

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Pre-trialmotions/NoticeofMotion.Requestsforcourtorderstoaddressproblemsthatcan’twaitfortrial—typically for such things as support, custody, visitation,restrainingorders,legalfees,freezingassetsandaccounts,butalmostanyproblemrelatedtothecasecanberaised.

Discovery. Legal tools to dig out informationand documents: written questions answered under oath,subpoenas toproducedocuments, takingof statements inpersonandunderoath.

Custody mediation. Required by law in caseswherethepartiescan’tagreeonparentingarrangements.Ifthatdoesn’twork,thejudgemightorderahomestudyandreporttbyacourt-appointedcounselor.

SettlementConference.Aformalmeetingbetweenlawyers,parties,andtheajudicialorsettlementofficerwhowillgiveanopiniononlikelyrulingsandtrytopersuadeorpressurethepartiestosettlebeforetrial.

Thediagramabovecoversthesamethingastheoneonthepreviouspage,onlythisoneaddstheroleofnegotiation(whichtakesplaceoutsidethelegalsystem)andallthepiecesareorganizedonatimelinesoyoucanseebetterhowtheyarerelated.Later,wewilldiscusseachlegalprocedureindetail,whatit’sgoodforandhowtohandleit.Fornow,theimportantthingistoobservethatoutsidethelegalsystem,negotiationandsettlementareavailableatalltimes.Fromanypointinthelegaldivorce,youcangointonegotiationandworktowardagreement.Assoonasyougetawrittensettlementagreement,thecontestisoverandallyouhavetodoiscompletesomeformstogetyourJudgment.

Agreeaboutwhat?Thelegaldivorcehasonlyfiveconcerns:dividingyourproperty(anddebts),careofminorchildren,childsupport,spousalsupport,andlegalfees.Inhighconflictcases,itisalsoaboutordersforkeepingthepeace.That’sit;that’sall.Nothingelseisinvolvedinthelegaldivorce.Makeanagreementonthesesubjectsandyouaredone.

Wehaveasaying:“TheRealDivorce isFree.”TheRealDivorce isabout redefiningyourself,makinganewlife,findinganewcenterofbalance.There’sverylittleinthelegaldivorcethatwillhelpwithyourreallifework,butitcangetintheway,wipeoutyoursavings,anddelayyourabilitytomoveforward.Thisbookisgoingtohelpyouavoidthat.


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CHAPTER 3HOW TO GET OUT OF THE LEGAL SYSTEMObstacles to agreement and how to overcome them

Unlessyouarefacinganemergency,themostimportantthingyouneedtoknowaboutthelegalsystemishowtogetarounditoroutofit—howtogetyourJudgmentwithaslittlelegalactionaspossible.Evenifyouneedtotakelegalactionforsomespecificreason(chapter1),onceyoureachastoppingpointyoushouldtryveryhardtonegotiateyourwaythroughallissues,orasmanyofthemasyoupossiblycan.

Agreement=Out.You alreadyknow there are only twoways to get your Judgment: you canmakeanagreement,oryoucansufferandstruggleyourwaythroughthelegalsystemsothatacom-pletestranger(thejudge)candecideimportantissuesaboutyourchildren,yourmoneyandyourlife.Comparedtothis,afairagreementwithyourspouseisworthagreatdealofeffortandcompromise.Ifyoucanagree,yourwrittenagreementactuallysetsthetermsofyourJudgment,soyougettodecideeverythingaheadoftimewithcompletecertaintyandinfargreaterdetailthananyorderssomejudgemightmake.Onceanagreement issigned,yourdivorce isessentiallyfinished.More important,divorcessettledbygoodagreementsusuallyworkoutbetterafterward:spousesaremorelikelytocomplywithterms,havebetterpost-divorcerelationships,betterco-parenting,andfasterhealing.Book1,HowtoDoYourOwnDivorce,chapter6,discussessettlementagreements.

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Understandably,peopletendtoshyawayfromtalkingtotheirestrangedspousesabouttheissuesoftheirdivorce.Youmightnotbelieveyoucanhandleitorfearyouwillgetintoterriblefightsorupsetifyoutrytotalkaboutdivorceterms.Hiringanattorneytotakeoverstartstolookveryattractive—but,ultimately, thismightnotbe thebestdecisionnotall attorneysarecreatedequal.Youneed tobeveryselectiveintheattorneyyouselectandinterviewthemconsciouslyandcarefully.Manyattorneysarenotparticularlygoodnegotiators,havenotraininginit,andalmostalways,oftenunnecessarily,dragcasesintoconflictthatcouldhavebeensettledbyothermeans.Theydothisbecausethesystemworksthatwayandtheyjusttendtogoalongwithit.

Thetruthisthatnoonecandoitbetterthanyou...ifyouknowhow.Ifyoulearnalittleabouthowtonegotiate,then—unlessyouaredealingwithanabuserorcontroller,oremotionsareoutofcontrol—youprobablywon’tbeafraidtotalkwithyourspouseandyou’llprobablybeabletofacetheupsanddownsontheroadtoyouragreement.Ifandwhenagreementsarereached,youandyourspousecanruntheagreementsbyyourrespectivelawyerstomakesuretheyaresoundandthattheyareproperlywrittenupandsigned.Toomanytimes,whenpeopletrytoeitherwriteuptheirownagreements,useatemplateoraparalegal/documentpreparationservice,goodagreementsareunenforceablebecausetheywerenotproperlydocumented.WithhelpandadvicefromaDivorceHelplineattorney-mediator,youcanworkwithevenmorecomfortandconfidence.

Thenextchaptersareabouthowtodealwithdisagreement,fromsimpledifferenceofopiniontoactiveupsetandanger.Iwillshowyouspecificstepstotakethatwillhelpyoutalktoyourspouseandnegotiateeffectively.Asyouwillsee,whenitcomestonegotiatingwithyourspouse,thethingsyoucandoyourselfareoftenmoreeffectivethananythingalawyercando.Ifyouneedhelp,Ishowyouthebestwaytogoaboutgettingit.

Emergencies.Ifanurgentoremergencysituationcomesupwhileyouaretryingtoworkoutanagreement,notifyyourlawyerimmediatelyandturntochapters10–14.Betteryet,callDivorceHelpline.

Whyyoucan’tagree.Atleast95%ofallcasesaresettledbeforetrial,buttoomanyaresettledonlyafterthespouseshaveexhaustedtheiremotionalenergiesonconflictandtheirfinancialresourcesonlawyers.Somuchtimeandeffortspentbattlingimpairstheabilitytogetonwithlifeandmaycauseseriouspsychicdamagetospousesandtheirchildren.Sure,spousescansavethemselvesallthatpainandsufferingsimplybyagreeingtosettleearlier—sowhydon’tthey?

Whydon’tyoujustgoaheadanddoit?Therearefivespecificreasonswhyspouseshavetroublenegotiatinganagreement.Whichofthesearepresentinyourcase?

•Emotionalupsetandconflict•Insecurityandfear•Ignoranceandmisinformation•Thelegalsystemandineffectivelawyers•Validdisagreement


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Togetanagreement,inoroutofthesystem,withorwithoutanattorney,youhavetoovercomethefiveobstacles,andyouhavetoclearawaythefirstfourbeforeyoucanworkeffectivelyonthefifth—thevaliddisagreement.Lookwhatyou’redealingwith:

1.Emotionalupsetandconflict.Ifoneorbothspousesareupset,youcan’tnegotiate,havereasonablediscussionsormakesounddecisions.What’sworse,complexandvolatileemotionsbecomeexternalizedandgetattachedtothingsortothechildren.Whenemotionsarehigh,reasonisatitslowestebbandwillnotbeveryeffectiveatthattime.Theotherspousefrequentlytriestoreasonwiththeupsetspousebutitneverworks—youcan’treasonwithanemotion. Therearemanycausesofupset:obviousonessuchasthedivorceitself,financialstrain,stressofmajorchange,brokendreams,fearofanunknownfuture,andsoon.ButthereisonerootcauseofconflictthatappearsinalmosteverycasethatI’veseen,andthisissomethingyoucandosomethingabout.Upsetandconflictarealwaysmoreintensewhenonespousecan’taccepttheideaofthedivorce.Themostconstructivethingyoucandoistakethetimetoworktowardmutualreadinessandwillingnesstoacceptthedivorce.Don’tpushorrush.Ifyouaretheonewhocan’tacceptthedivorce,youmusttrytogetoverit.

Don’ttrytonegotiatewhenfeelingsarehigh.Don’tgetengagedinemotionalargumentsandstopdiscussingwhoismorewrong;rather,dropoutofsuchconversationsasgracefullyaspossibleandwaitforabettertime.Idescribebelowspecificthingsyoucandotoreducethecausesofupset.

2. Insecurity, fear, lackof confidence, unequal bargainingpower.You can’t negotiate if either spousefeels incompetentorafraidorbelieves theotherspousehasabigadvantage.Divorce is tremendouslyunderminingandtendstomultiplyfeelingsoflowself-esteemandlackofself-confidence.Often,thereareveryrealcausesforinsecurity:lackofskillandexperienceatdealingwithbusinessandnegotiation,andlackofcompleteinformationandknowledgeabouttheprocessandfinancialmatters.I’llshowyousomestepsyoucantaketoreducefearandbuildself-esteem,foryouandforyourspouse.

TheObstacles

toAgreement

WHY YOU CAN’T AGREE

EMOTIONAL UPSET &CONFLICT

IGNORANCE &MISINFORMATION

THE LEGAL SYSTEM &LAWYERS

VALIDDISAGREEMENT

INSECURITY, FEAR, LACK OFCONFIDENCE, UNEQUAL

BARGAINING POWER

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3.Ignoranceandmisinformation.Ignoranceaboutfamilyaffairsorthelegalsystemandhowitworkscanmakeyoufeeluncertain,insecureandincompetent.Youfeelasifyoudon’tknowwhatyouaredoing...andyouareright.

Misinformation iswhen the thingsyou thinkyouknowarenotcorrect.Misinformationcomesfromwell-intentioned friends, familymembers, television,movies, themisinformation superhighway(theinternet),andevenfromlawyerswhoarenotfamilylawexperts.Itcandistortyourexpectationsaboutyourrightsandwhat’sfair.It’sdamndifficulttonegotiatewithsomeonewhohasmistakenideasaboutwhattherulesare.Don’tletthatsomeonebeyou.

Fortunately,bothconditionsareeasilyfixedwithreliableinformation.Byreadingthisbook,youarewellonyourwayoutofthisdilemma.

4.Thelegalsystemandlawyers.Thelegalsystemdoesnothelpyouovercomeobstaclestoagreement,butitisitselfoneofthemajorobstaclesyouhavetoovercome.Whiletherearesomevalidreasonsforgoingintothelegalsystem,forthemostpartyouwanttoavoiditasmuchaspossible.Unlessthereisareasonforit,thelegalsystemshouldbeviewedasalastresort,asopposedtothefirstoption.

5.Validdisagreement.Realdisagreementsarebasedonthefactthatspouseswhooncehadcommoninterestsnowhavedifferentneedsandgoals.Thisisalevelyoucandealwithrationallyandnegotiatecleanly.Ifyoucandispeltheinfluenceofthefirstfourobstacles,validissuesthatinvolveproperty,debtsandsupportcanbecleanlynegotiatedifyougetaneutralunderstandingofCalifornia’sdetailedrulesoflaw.Ifyouremainatoddsoverparenting,youshouldnegotiateforbothparentstotakecounselingforseparatedparentsandgetadvicefromachilddevelopmentprowhoknowswhat’sbestforkidsafterdivorce.

Overcoming the obstacles to agreement

Thesolutionsareentirelyinyourhands.Apartfromthelegalsystem—whichyoucanavoid—allobstaclestoyouragreementarepersonal,betweenyouandyourspouse,andbetweenyouandyourself.

Takecare.Payspecialattentiontoemotionalupsetandevenmoretoinsecurityandfear.Theseare the forces thatdrivepeople intoexcessiveuseof the legal system.Theupsetperson is saying, “Ican’tstandthisandIwon’ttakeitanymore!I’mgoingtocourt!”Theinsecurepersonissaying,“Ican’tunderstandallthisandIcan’tdealwithit.Ican’ttalktomyspouse.Iwanttobesafe.I’mgoingtocourt.”

Tryhardtoreducethecausesofupsetandfear.Avoiddoinganythingthatmightincreaseitforeitherofyou.Ifyouareself-confidentbutthinkyourspousemaybeupsetorinsecure,youhavetobeverysensitiveandpatient.Ifyouarefeelinginsecureandincapableofdealingwithyourowndivorce,theinformationinthisbookwillhelpalot.

Pleasedon’tjustwalkuptoyourspouseandstartnegotiating.First,youneedtodosomethingabouttheobstaclestoagreement.Thismeansthatbeforeyougetdowntonegotiatingyourrealissues,youmust:

•Calmemotionalupset,reducefears,andbalancethebargainingpower•Getreliableinformationandadvice•Learnhowtogetsafe,reliablehelpifyouneedit


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Ten steps

Beforeyoustartnegotiating,gothroughthesespecificstepsyoucantaketoovercometheobstaclestoagreement—thengetdowntonegotiation.Use thisasachecklist tomakesureyou’vebuiltagoodfoundationfornegotiation.Ifyourunintotroublelater,comebackanddouble-checkthesesteps.

1.Getsafe,stableandsecurelongenoughtoworktowardanagreement.Yourfirstandmostim-portantjob is to dowhatever youmust to arrange short-term safety, stability, and security for yourself, yourchildren,andyourspouse...inthatorder.Thisdoesn’tmeanforever—justforamonthorafewmonthsata time.Don’tbeconcernedyetabout the longtermor thefinaloutcome.Andweare talkingaboutminimumconditionshere,notyouroriginalstandardofliving.Butdon’tattempttodoanythingelseuntilminimumconditionsaremet.Youcan’tnegotiateifyoudon’tknowwhereyouwilllive,orhowyouwillpaytherent,orifyoufeelafraidforyoursafetyorforyourchildren,orifyouthinkyourhouseisabouttobeforeclosedoryourcarrepossessed.Legalactionmaybeusefultohelpyoureachthisgoal,butthepracticalthingsyoucandoareusuallymoreimportantandcertainlymorereliable.

2.Makesome“NewLife”resolutions.Startthinkingofyourselfasawholeandseparateperson.Ifthedivorcewasn’tyouridea,trytoacceptthathoweverpainfuldivorceis,it’sbetterthantryingtolivewithsomeonewhodoesn’twanttobewithyou.

Ifyoufeelwounded,trytorealizethatyouarehealingandonyourwaytobecomingwholeandcomplete.Keepthatpictureinmind.Trytoacceptthepainandconfusionthatarepartofhealing.Letgoofoldattachments,olddreams,oldpatternsthatdon’twork;thisisyourtimetobuildnewones.Youcancomeoutaheadintheend.Decideyouwillnotbeavictimofyourspouse,thesystem,oryourself.Youcanlaydowntheburdenoftryingtochangeorcontrolyourspouse—ortheburdenofbeingnaggedandmanipulated.That’sallovernow,itdoesn’twork,it’scontrarytothemeaningofdivorce.

Stoptryingtomakeyourspousewrong.Youcan’tnegotiateifthisisyouremotionalthemesong.Theonlyfuturedownthispathisprolongedsufferingasyougoonhurtingyourself.Afteryougetyoursettlementagreementwithfairterms,youcandoalltheblamingyoulike.Besides,what’sthepoint?Whocareswhathe/shethinksorrealizes?That’sover.

Concentrateonyourself,especiallyonyourownactions.Youcan’tchangeyourspouse,butyoucanchangewhoyouareandhowyouact.Thebest,perhapsonly,wayyoucanbreakoutofbadoldpatternsisbychangingwhatyoudoandhowyoureact(ordon’treact)tothingsyourspousedoes. Concentrateonyourphysicalhealth,yourwork,children,andfriends.Trytobecomequietandcalm.Keepyourlifeassimpleaspossible.

3. Insulateandprotectyourchildren. Involvingyourchildrenwillharmthem. Itwillalsoupsetbothparentsandangerthejudgesokeepthemwellawayfromthedivorce.Tellthemthetruthinsimpletermstheycanunderstandbutdon’tdiscussthedivorceoryourproblemsinfrontofthem.Don’tinvolvethechildrenorpassmessagesthroughthem.Don’t let themhearyouargueorhearyoucriticizetheotherparent.Letyourchildrenknowyoubothlovethemandwillalwaysbetheirmotherandfather,nomatterwhathappensbetweenyou.Tell themclearlyandfrequently that thedivorce isnot theirfaultandnotcausedbyanythingtheydidordidnotdo.

4.Agreeontemporaryarrangements.Itcantakealongtimeforthingstosettledownandforthespousestoworkoutafinalagreement.Meanwhile,youhavetoarrangeforthesupportoftwohouse-holdsonthesameoldincome,theparentingofminorchildren,makingpaymentsonmortgagesanddebts,andsoon.


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Asamatterofroutine,mostlawyerstakealmostanycaseimmediatelytocourttogettemporaryordersforchildcustodyandsupport,etc.Iftheythinkaboutitatall,theyprobablybelievethisistheprofessionallycorrectwaytoestablishstabilityuntil thecasecanbesettledortried.Alotofmoneycanbespentonthisstep,andthelevelofconflictisverylikelytoescalate.But,ifyoucanworkoutyourowntemporaryarrangements,youwon’tneedlegalactiontogettemporarycourtordersbyagreement.

Youragreed-upontemporaryarrangements(forexampleforcustodyandsupport)canbereducedtostipulationsandordersandfiledwiththecourt.Thesedocumentscanmakeitclearthattheseagreementsaretemporary,notprejudicial,andintendedtogiveyouthestabilitytonegotiate.Stipulationsandordersarehelpful toaddresssituationswherebargainingpower isunequalbecauseonespouse is thehigher-earner,oronespouseistheprimaryparent.Situationswhereyoudependonyourspousetovoluntarilycontribute funds you need to pay rent, eat, etc., and situationswhere you depend on your spouse tovoluntarilyproduceyourchildrenforparentingtime,canhaveaterribleimpactonyourabilitytonegotiateforyourrights.Itishardtoforcefullyassertyourpositionwhenyourspouseholdsthepurse-strings,orcontrolsaccesstoyourchildren.Astipulationandorderwillgiveyouatemporarybutlegally-enforceablerighttosupportorcustodialtimeandcanmakeiteasiertoapproachyourspouseonequalfooting.Itisverymuchtotheadvantageofbothpartiestocreatestabilityonbothsideswithoutinvolvinglawyersandlegalaction.Startbyagreeingthatyouwantafairresultandthatyouwillbothactfairly.Agreetocommunicatebeforedoinganythingthatwillaffecttheotherspouse,thepropertyorthechil-dren.Then,agreetosometermsthatwillallowbothsidestoliveandparentinareasonabledegreeofstabilityuntilthingscanbepermanentlyworkedout.Itisbestifyourtemporaryarrangementsareputinwriting.Ifyouhavetroubleworkingouttemporaryarrangements,usetechniquesdiscussedhere.Ifnothingelseworks,considerhandlingthecourtactionwithoutretaininganattorneytodoit.

5.Slowdown,takesometime.Ifyoucanmakeyoursituationsafeandstableforawhile—evenjustforafewmonths—youdon’thavetobeinapanictopushahead.Thinkofdivorceasanillness.Ittrulyisakindofinjury,andittakestimetoheal.Youhavetogoslowandeasy,begoodtoyourself.Someveryimportantworkgoesonduringthisslowdown.Workquietlyandpatientlytowardmutualacceptanceofthedivorcegoingforward.

6.Getinformationandadvice.First,organizeyourfacts,recordsanddocuments. Spouseshavearighttogetafull,open,andhonestexchangeofinformationandtheyhavethedutytogiveit.Evenifyoudon’twanttodoit,it’sthelaw.Failuretodisclosefullycanbepenalized,soyoumightaswelljustgoaheadanddoit.Onthepositiveside,fairnessandopennesshelptobuildtrustandconfidence.Ifinformationisnotexchangedfreelyoutsideofthelegalsystem,youwillprobablyendupincourtundergoingexpensivetime-consumingdiscoveryprocedures.

Learnthelawasitappliestoyourcase.Californiahassomuchlawondivorcethatalmosteveryconceivableissuehasalreadybeendecided.Becauseyoucanusuallygetaprettygoodideaaheadoftimewhatajudgewilldo, there’snotmuchtobegainedfromlitigation.Theoneexceptionis thetermsforparentingofchildrenafterdivorce,whichisstilldecidedonacase-by-casebasis.

Ifyoufeelitmighthelp,getsomeadvice,butbecarefulwhereyougetit.Yourfriendsandrelativesmightbeafountainoffreeadvice,butdon’ttakeit—theymeanwell,butprobablydon’tknowwhatthey’retalkingabout.Theircaseswillhavebeendifferentfromyours,sotheirexperiencewon’tapplytoyou.Iftheyarewrong,whopays?Useyourfriendsforemotionalsupportbuttakeadviceonlyfromanattorneywhoisanexpertindivorce.Becarefulabouttakingadvicefromparalegalsanddivorcetypingservices;they’renottrainedforit.


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7.Focusonneedsandinterests.Don’ttakeanypositionsyet.Apositionisastandonafinaloutcome:“Iwantthehousesoldandthechildreneveryweekend.”Inthebeginning,there’stoomuchupsetandtoolittleinformationtodecidewhatyouwantforanoutcome.Worse,takingapositionisbadnegotiatingandaninvitationtoanargument.Theothersideeitheragreesortheydisagreeandyou’reinanargumentratherthanadiscussion.It’sbettertothinkandtalkintermsofneedsandinterests.Theseareyourbasicconcerns:“IneedtoknowI’llhaveenoughtoliveon.Iwanttohaveagoodrelationshipwithmychildren.Iwantanendtoargumentandupset.”Whenputthisway,thesearesubjectsthatyouandyourspousecanmoreeasilydiscusstogether.

8. Stick with short-term solutions. Concentrate on short-term solutions to immediate problems likekeepingtwoseparatehouseholdsafloatforafewmonths;keepingmortgagespaidandcarsfrombeingrepossessed;keepingchildrenprotected,secure,stable,incontactwithbothparents.Thesearethingsyoucantrytoworkontogether.

9.Minimumlegalactivity.Youwanttoavoidlegalactivityunlessit isnecessary—zeroisbest,or theminimumnecessarytoprotectyourselfandcreateshort-termstability.

10.Gethelpifyouneedit.Considercounselingforyourselforyourchildren.Forhelpwithtalkingtoyourspouse,considercouplecounselingorgoingtoseeamediator.Mediatorsandcounselorsarelow-conflictprofessionalswhocanhelpwithemotional issues,defusingupsetor, in thecaseof themediator,withmakingagreementsforyourtemporaryorfinalarrangements.

Ifyoufollowthesesteps,you’llbeabletoclearawaythefirstfourobstaclestoagreement.Thenextchapterwillshowyouhowtotalktoyourspouseeffectivelyandnegotiateanagreement.Followthosestepsandyouwillbereadyandabletonegotiatetherealissuesofyourdivorce.


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CHAPTER 4HOW TO NEGOTIATE AN AGREEMENT

Thebestpredictorofagooddivorceoutcomeisclientratherthanattorneycontrolofnegotiation.Thisdoesn’tmeanyoushouldnotberepresentedbyanattorney;itmeansyouarebetteroffifyoucanheavilyparticipateinthenegotiationswithyourspouseincollaborationwithyourattorney.Therearetimes where the negotiations happen between the lawyers, and others when the negotiations happenbetweenthespouses.Dependingoncircumstancesandthedegreeofupsetbetweenyouandyourspouse,onemightworkbetterthantheother. Butinmyexperience,manygreatsettlementshavecomeaboutwhenthepartiesfinallybegintotalkandnegotiatebetweenthemselvesafteralotoftimeandmoneyhasbeenspentonlawyersandcourtbattles.

So,yousee,youarelikelytoendupdealingwiththenegotiationanyway,andthereisevidencethatyouarebetteroffifyoudo.Withsettlements,yougetahigherdegreeofcompliancewithtermsoftheagreement,amuchlowerchanceforfutureconflict,co-parentingissmoother,supportpaymentsaremorelikelytobemadeinfullandontime,andyougetonwithyourlifemorequickly.Butthatdoesnotmeanyoushouldgoatitalone.Youdon’twanttothrowoutthebabywiththebathwater.Thekeyistohireanattorneywhowillbehelpful,supportive,availableandresponsive,andforyoutodosomeofthenegotiatingyourselfwiththeguidanceandsupportofyourlawyer.

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Negotiatingwithaspouseisnevereasybecausetherearebuilt-indifficulties.But,okay,sothereareproblems—whattodo?Herearetenstepsyoucantaketomakeyournegotiationswork:

1. Be businesslike. Keep business and personal matters separate.Make it a condition of negotiationthatyouwillnotdiscusspersonalmatterswhendiscussingbusinessandvice-versa.Onlydobusinessby appointments and an agenda.This is so you can both be prepared and composed.Do not discusseitherpersonalorbusinessmatterswhenyouexchange thechildren.Actbusinesslike:beon timeanddress for business.Don’t socialize anddon’t drink; it impairs your judgment.Bepolite and insist onreasonablemannersinreturn.Ifthingsstarttosneakintothepersonal,getbackontrack.Iftalkbecomesun-businesslike,saythatyouwillleaveifthemeetingdoesn’tgetbackontrack.Asktosetanotherdate.Ifmattersdon’timprove,don’targue;beniceaboutit,butgetupandgo.

2.Meetonneutralground.Findaneutralplacetomeet,notthehomeorofficeofeitherspousewheretherecouldbetoomanyreminders,memories,andpersonaltriggers.Otherwise,thevisitingspousecouldfeelatsomedisadvantage,andthehomespousecan’tgetupandgoifthingsgetoutofhand.Tryarestaurant,thepark,borrowameetingspaceorrentoneifnecessary. 3.Beprepared.Gointothemeetingwellpreparedonwhatwillbediscussedandwhatyouroptionsareaswellasyourexpectedgoals.

•Getcontroloftherelevantfactsfortheissuesyouwillbediscussing,andworkwithyourattorneybeforethemeetingwithyourspousesoyoucangetorganized.• Understand the law. Have your attorney explain the relevant law on the issues youwill bediscussing,developdifferentoptions,andformyourgoalsonthesespecificissues.•Planyourstrategy.Youshouldknowbeforeanynegotiationswhatyourexpectationsare,andwhattheoutsidelimitsofyourconcessionswillbe.Thiswillallowyoutopresentyourpotionfirmly,butalsokeepyoufromgivingawaytoomuch.•Itwillbeusefulifyoutrytounderstandyourselfandyourspouse.Trytostepoutofoldpatternsthatdidnotwork.Breakold cycles.See if youcan stopdoing things thatpushyour spouse’sbuttonsandtrytostoplettingyourbuttonsgetpushed,evenifyourspouseisleaningonone.Justthefactthatyouareattemptingthiswillhelpmakethingsalittlebetter.

4.Balancethenegotiatingpower.•Ifyoufeelinsecure,becominginformed,well-prepared,andusinganagendawillhelp.•Youneverneedtorespondonthespot;stateyourideas,listentoyourspouse,thenthinkaboutituntilthenextmeeting.Gobackandgetadvicefromyourattorney,usefriendsformoralsupportandventing,thengobackinthere.Don’tmeetifyouarenotcalm,anddon’tcontinueifthemeetingdoesn’tstaybusinesslike.•Ifyouarethemoreconfidentone,helpbuildyourspouse’sconfidencesohe/shecannegotiatecompetentlyandmakesounddecisions.Shareallinformationopenlywithyourspouse.Beagoodlistener:restatewhatyourspousesaystoshowyouheardit;don’trespondimmediately,justsayyou’llthinkaboutit.Toneyourselfback;stateyourownpointsclearlybutdon’ttrytopersuadeor“win”apoint.Don’targueorrepeatyourself.Listen,listen,listen.

5.Buildagreement.•Startwith thefacts:youshouldbynowhavegatheredandexchangedall information.Ifnot,completetheinformationgathering,thentrytoagreewhatthefactsare.Writedownthefactsyouagreeonandlistexactlywhatfactsyoudonotagreeon.Noteanycompetingversions,thendoresearchtoresolvethedifferencewithresearchanddocuments.Compromise,becauseifyoucan’tprovesomefacttoeachother,youmayhaveahardtimeprovingitincourt.


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•Makealistoftheissuesanddecisionsyoucanagreeon.Writethemdown.Thisishowyoubuildafoundationforagreementandbegintoclarifythemajorissuesbetweenyou.Next,writedownthethingsyoudon’tagreeon,alwaystryingtorefineyourdifferences—tomakethemmoreandmoreclearandprecise.Trytobreakdifferencesdownintodigestible,bite-sizedpieces.

6.Considertheneedsandinterestsofbothspouses.Avoidtakingaposition.Consideryourneeds,interestsandconcernsalongsidethefactsofyoursituation.Worktogetheronbrainstormingandproblemsolving;lookforwaystosatisfytheneedsandinterestsofbothspousesandtrytobalancethesacrifices.

7.Stateissuesinaconstructiveway.“Reframing”iswhenyourestatethingsinamoreneutralway,toencouragecommunicationandunderstanding.Forexample:onespousesays,“Ihavetohavethehouse.”Reframe:“WhatIwouldlikemostistohavethehouse,that’smyfirstpriority.Whatthehousemeanstomeis...” 8.Bepatientandpersistent.Don’trush;don’tbeinahurry.Divorcestaketimeandnegotiationtakestime.Ittakestimeforpeopletoacceptnewideasandevenlongertochangetheirminds.Itmaytaketimetoshiftyourmutualorientationfromcombativetocompetitivetocooperative.Sodon’tjustdosomething,standthere!Aslow,gradualapproachtakespressureoffandallowsemotionstocool.

Meanwhile,youmaywanttoworkouttemporarysolutionsforcertainissues.Ifthesituationofbothspousesisstableandsecureforawhile,youcanaffordtotakesometime.Ifnot,workonthat,notthenegotiation.Settlein,getascomfortableasyoucan,goonwithbuildingyournewlife.Ifthegoingseemsslow,remember,workingthroughattorneysusuallytakesaverylongtime,manymonthsorevenyears.Youcanbeatthat,forsure.

9.Gethelp.Negotiatingwithyourspousemaynotbeeasybecauseyou’redealingwitholdhabits,rawwounds,entrenchedpersonalitypatterns—all theobstacles toagreementallatonce.Youmightdecideyoujustcan’tfaceallthatalone.Evenifyoudotryandfindyouaren’tgettinganywhere,don’tstruggletoolong,don’twaituntilyouarebothatwarfromentrenchedpositions,don’tgetfrustrated,don’tgetdepressed,don’tgetmad—gethelp.Athirdpersoncanreallyhelpkeepthingsinfocus.Sometimes,notalways,atrustedneutralfriendorfamilymembermaybethebufferwhohelpsbothofyoucommunicatemoreeffectively.

Negotiate what? Ultimately, you’llwant to thinkabout afinal resolutionof all issues:divisionofproperty anddebts,childandspousalsupport,andparentingarrangements.But,alongtheway,itcanbeveryhelpfultonegotiatetemporarylivingarrangementswhileworkingonthefinaloutcome.Ifyourcaseendsupincourt,youmightwanttonegotiatetheresolutionofdiscoveryissuesormotionsthatmightcomeupduringthedivorce,andwithsuccessfulnegotiations,youmaybeabletoreducethenumberofissuesthatendofgoinginfrontofajudge.

Thetoolsfornegotiationthatwe’vebeendiscussingcanhelpyouinallofthesearenas.

Full or partial agreement Ofcourseyouwouldratherhaveacompleteresolutionofallissues,butifyoucan’tgetthat,apartialagreementcanbeveryuseful.Agreeingonsomepartofyourcasewill:

•Narrowandfocusthescopeofyourdispute;•Limittheeffortandexpensenecessarytofinishyourcase•Setapatternandbuildadegreeofconfidenceinthenegotiatingprocessasyouwillbothseethatatleastsomethingscanbeagreedupon;


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•Leaveyouwithlesstoworryabout;and•Ifyoucansettlesomepartialissues,itbuildsmomentumsothatitbecomeseasiertotakeontheremainingissues.

Ithastobeinwriting.Apartialagreementmeanslittleuntilyou’vegotitinwritinginaproperlywordedandenforceableformat.Ofcourse,yourlawyerswillbeinvolvedinthedraftingoftheagreementandIwillgointothisveryimportantsubjectindetailinthefollowingchapter.Butfornow,pleasenotethatanagreementmeansvery littleunless it isproperlydraftedandsigned inanenforceablemanner.Rememberthatadivorceistechnicallyalawsuit,andinlawsuits,detailsandtechnicalitiesmatter.

Before you start to negotiate It isnotagood idea tostartworkingonafinalagreementuntilbothspouseshaveacompletepictureofallproperty,debts,income,andexpenses.Ideally,youwillfirstexchangethepreliminaryandfinaldisclosuredocumentsandanydiscoveryrequiredtocompletethepicture.Readchapters8and17aboutgettinginformation.If,inthefuture,onepartycanshowthatimportantfinancialinformationwasnotdisclosed,youragreementandJudgmentcanberevisited,possiblysetaside,andpenaltiescouldbeimposed.Youdon’twantthatkindofinsecurityhangingoveryourfuture,sobesurethatyourdisclosureisopen,honest,andfull.

Before you begin to negotiate, give your spouse this book and, if possible, discuss parts of ittogether.Talkabouthowyoucanputtheseideastoworkandhowyoucanproceed.Goovereachstepandtalkabouthowit’sgoingandwhatmorecanbedone.

Counseling, mediation and arbitration Therearetimeswhenathirdpersoncanreallyhelpwithsomewordsofadvice,feedbackonhowsomethinglooksfromtheoutside,anotherpointofview,anewideaforhowtohandleasituation.Inbroadterms,therearethreekindsofprofessionalhelp—counseling,mediationandarbitration.

Counseling.Thegoalofindividualcounselingismentalhealthandemotionalgrowth.Acounselorcanhelpyouunderstandandacceptyourself,orperhapsmakeconstructivechangesinyourhabitsandattitudes.Counselingcanbeverypracticalandgoal-oriented,oritcanbedirectedmoretowardtherapyandpersonaltransformation.Counselorshelpwiththedifficultjobofdiggingintoyourownprocessanddealingwithyour life.Couples counseling ispractical andoriented towardmutualunderstandingandbettercommunications.Thiscanbegreatstuffifyouwanttoworkoutanagreementorworkonbetterco-parenting.

Mediation.Thegoalofmediationistohelpacouplereachanagreement.Alesspopularbutstillusefulgoalistobringsomeordertoyourdisagreements—tonarrowandsharpentheissuessoifaconflictcan’tbeavoided,itcanatleastbelimitedtorealissues,whichmakesanysubsequentlegalcontestmoreefficientandlessexpensive.Themediatorissupposedtobeanobjective,neutralpersonwhoisskilledatconflictresolutionandnegotiation.Themediatorworkstocontrolupset,calmfears,equalizethebargainingpower,andkeepyoufocusedonneedsandinterests.Amediatorcanhelpyougetunstuckbysheddingnewlight,bringinginnewideas,andotheroptions.Ifyouareunabletoworkoutanagreementonyourown,youshoulddefinitelytrymediation—iftheotherpartyandyourattorneyarewilling—andpreferablywitha family lawattorney-mediator.Family lawattorney-mediatorswillknowmuchmoreaboutthelaws,likelyoutcomesofcases,andlegalaspectsofsettlementagreements.Lawyerswilltendtobemorepracticalandbusinesslike. Mediationisnotjustforfriendlydivorces.Angry,conflictedcouplesareespeciallyinneedofmediation


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andstandtogainthemost,particularlyiftheyhavechildren.Mediationcanbeveryeffective,evenincaseswithhighconflict,especiallyifconductedbyexperiencedfamilylawattorney-mediators.

Arbitration.Ifcounselingormediationdonotresolveyourdisagreements,orifyoudidnotwanttotryoneortheother,thereisstillonemoregoodalternativetogoingtocourt.Arbitrationislikehiringyourown,privatejudge,exceptthattheproceedingsarelessformalandmuchlesscostly.Arbitratorsaretypicallyretiredjudgesorfamilylawattorneyswithlotsofexperience.

PrivateJudges.Ifyouthinkit’sworthspendingsomemoneyonspecialhandling,youcanhireaprivatejudgetohearyourcase,makedecisionsandordersandprocessyourpaperworkveryquickly.Aprivatejudgeisanattorneywhohasbeentrainedandcertifiedtohearcasesandprocesspaperwork.

Discusstheprosandconsofmediation,arbitrationandprivatejudgeswithyourattorney.Theycaneachbeusedaspartofthebiggerpictureand,properlyused,canbringandendtoadivorcefasterandlessexpensively.

When you reach your agreement Chapter5discusseswhattodowhenyoureachafullorpartialagreement.Chancesareverygoodthatyouwillworkthingsoutbyusingthetechniquesdiscussedinthisbook—ideally,beforelegalaction,butcertainlybeforetrial.Onceyouhavereachedanagreement,youcanrelaxalittlebit;yourdivorceiseffectivelyover—allthat’sleftistogetitdraftedinlegallycorrectformandthengothroughsomeredtapeandpaperworktogetyourJudgment,whichyourlawyerwilldo.ButImuststresstheimportanceofthepaperworkbeingdoneproperly,buyaqualifiedandexperiencedlawyer.Toomanyoptionsarenowavailable, fromdo-it-yourselfkits,documentpreparation“professionals”,online templates,etc. Noneoftheseareasubstituteforaproperlydraftedagreementwhichiscustomizedtoyourspecificsituation.Otherwise,theagreementyouworkedsohardtoreachcouldbedeemedunenforceable,orlackdetailsthatmaymakethefinancialsupportorassetsvulnerable.Moreonthisinthenextchapter.

The last resort Afterallourtalkabouttheadvantagesofreachingagreement,itisfinallytimetofacethefactthatyoucan’talwaysgetonenomatterwhatyoudo.Or,maybeworkingwithyourspouseonanagreementisnotsomethingyouwanttodounderanycircumstances.Ifyoucan’tsettle,youhavetolitigate.Ifyouhavetolitigate,youmightaswelllearnhowtodoitinthemostefficientandcost-effectivewaypossible.So,getreadyandmoveontochapter6.


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CHAPTER 5WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU REACH FULL OR PARTIAL AGREEMENT

Agreements and stipulations

Ithastobeinwriting.Thegoalofanydivorceistoreachagreementonallissues.Wheneverthishappens,you’llmakeawrittensettlementagreement(SA)whichdefinesyourJudgment.Caseover.Onceyousign,yourdivorceisessentiallyoverexceptforsomeredtapeandpaperwork.

Alongthewaytoafullandfinalagreement,couplesareoftenabletoagreeonsomethings,evenindifficultcases.Youneedtoknowthataverbalagreementisn’tworthmuchuntilitiswrittendowningoodformandsigned.So,wheneveryoureachanagreementonanymatterinyourcase,largeorsmall,youalwayswanttogetitinwriting.Awrittencontractisbetterthanasignedletter;asignedletterisbetterthanapromise.

A.AgreementsandstipulationsB.FullsettlementagreementC.PartialagreementsD.Stipulatedorders

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Stipulationisafancylegalwaytosayagreement,solawyersandjudgeslovetouseit.Youcanstipulate(agree)toafactoraprocedure,oryoucanstipulatetoanorder.Inthisbook,weuse“stipulation”whenpartiessignoffonagreedorders.Youwillusestipulations ifyouagree tosettleallorpartofamotionorRFOinyourcase,andonewayyoucanendyourcaseisbyfilingastipulatedJudgment.

Full settlement agreement

Wheneveryoucan reacha full andfinal settlementof all the issues inyourcase—divisionofproperty and debts, child and spousal support, and parenting arrangements—youwillmake awrittensettlementagreement.Youneedtodoitquickly,beforeanyonechangestheirmind,soitisbesttohavemostoftheagreementworkedoutandreadytogo,withonlylast-minutechangesrequired.Itisn’toveruntiltheagreementissignedbyeveryone. YoumustdodisclosuresbeforesigningasettlementagreementDo not sign a settlement agreement without making completion of the Preliminary Declaration ofDisclosure (PDD)andFinalDeclarationsofDisclosure (FDD)a conditionof theagreement, togetherwithacompleteddeclarationofserviceofthedeclarations.Thisissomethingthatmustbedoneeitherbeforeoratthetimeofsigning.Preferably,thisshouldbedoneBEFOREyouandyourspousenegotiatesincewithoutthedisclosure,youaretechnicallynegotiatingwithoutfullinformationabouttheassetsanddebtsthatexist,orabouteachother’sfinancials,whichcanbeabasisfortheagreementbeingdeemed“unknowing.”Disclosureandtherelatedformsshouldbediscussedwithyourlawyer.Gettingdisclosureisessentialbecauseitgetsyourspouse’sswornstatementastowhatisintheestate,whichcanbeusedlaterifitturnsoutthatsomepropertywashiddenor,forgotten,ormisrepresented.ThepartiescanwaivetheFDD,butunlessyouarecertain there isnoproperty in themaritalestateworthworryingabout, Irecommendthatyoudonotdothis.

Thedangerofunder-valuinganassetinyourdisclosure.Ifyouaretakinganassetinthedivisionofproperty,itisimportantthattheestimateofvalueinyourdisclosurebeaccurate,oratleastconservativelyhigh. The reason for this: ifyouunder-valueanasset thatyou take in thedivisionofproperty, it isexceedingly easy in thenext fewyears after the entryof your Judgment for your spouse to set aside(legallychallenge)yourstipulatedJudgment.Thebasisfortheset-asideboilsdownto“IneverwouldhaveagreedtothatdealhadIknownthepensionwasworth$X.”

ThisabilitytosetasidetheJudgmentisavailableevenifyourspousecouldhaveeasilyascertainedthepropervaluehisorherself.Thisbecomesanissueforthoseassetswhosevaluearenoteasilyverified—primarilythisisrealestateanddefinedbenefitplans(plansthatpayoutamonthlybenefitbasedon,amongotherthings,anestimateofhowlongyouwilllive).Afinancialaccountisaneasyassettovalue—youmerelyprintoutthemostrecentstatement.Realpropertyrequiresmoreeffort—acomparativemarketanalysisoranappraisal.Definedbenefitplansrequireanassessmentbyanactuarialaccountant.Ifyoudecidetonothavevaluationsdonebutguessatvalue,atleastguesshigh—thereisnopenaltyforover-estimatingvalue,justforunder-estimatingvalue.

Partial agreements

Ifyouarenotabletoreachanagreementonalltheissues,apartialagreementisstillprogressandwillgoalongwayinmakingthecompletionofyourdivorceeasier,lessstressful,andlessexpensive.However,itisextremelyimportanttogetyourpartialagreementinwritingusingthesameformatdescribedindocumentingallagreements.Itshouldbemadeclearwhere,andonwhatspecificissues,youstilldonotagree.Ifyoulaterchangetermsorincreaseyourareasofagreement,anewagreementcanbesignedprovidingthatyournewagreementsupersedestheother.

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Stipulated orders

Whenamotionisfiled,youmightbeabletonegotiatefullorpartialagreementonissuesraised,inwhichcaseyouprepareastipulatedorderthatresolvestheissues.Let’ssayyourspousefilesamotiontogetallbankstatementsoverasix-yearperiod.Beforethehearing,yousendemailexplainingyouhaveonlythelasttwoyears,whichyouarewillingtodeliver,andyouwillgiveyourspousealettertothebankauthorizingthemtodeliveranydocumentsatyourspouse’sexpense.Yourspouseagrees,soyoudrawupastipulationintheformofanagreedorderthatfollowsyouragreement.Youeithertakethestipulationtocourtbeforethehearing,getthejudge’ssignature,thenhavetheclerktakethematteroffthecourt’scalendar,oryoushowupatthehearing,submitthestipulationforthejudge’ssignature,andthemotionissettledincourt.

Notethatthewordingonstipulations,andagreementsingeneral,mustbeveryspecificandprecise,asyoudonotwantanorderthatissubjecttomorethanoneinterpretation

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CHAPTER 6HOW TO PLAN AND PREPARE YOUR CASE

Plan and prepare Itisveryimportanttonotbeafraidofcourt,legaldocuments,ortrial.Ifyouareafraid,youarevulnerabletobeingbullied.Aspecificremedyforfearisreliableinformation.Thisisnot informationthatyougetfromawell intentionedwell-intentionedfriendorfamilymember,fromaparalegalordocumentpreparationservice,orfromtheinternetorsocialmedia.Yougainalotofconfidencefromknowingwhatcanhappen,whatyouhavetodo,andhowtohandlethings;sostudythisbookanddothework.Ifyoucanaffordit,hirethebestattorneyyoucanfind.Butrightnow,themostimportantthingyoucando,assumingyouarenoturgentlypressedbyevents,istoorganize,plan,andprepareyourcase.

A.WhyyouneedstrategyB.StrategyisbasedonyourgoalsC.TheeffectofeventsandcircumstancesD.Tacticsbasedonwhoyouaredealingwith

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•Learntherulesthatapplytoyourcasebyspeakingtoaqualifiedattorney•Formyourgoals(thischapter)•Findoutwhatinformationyouneedandhowtogetit(chapter8)•Understandwhatyoucandoforyourselfoutsidethelegalsystem(chapters3and4)•Understandwhatyoucandoforyourselfinsidethelegalsystem(chapters9–27)•Planyourstrategyforachievingyourgoals(thischapter)•Organizeyourfactsanddocuments(chapter9H)(aconfusedfilecausesyoutobeconfused)•Reevaluateyourgoalsandstrategyasyoulearnandexperiencemore

From now on, think of your case in terms of the facts you can prove Everythingcountsinlife;lotsofthingscountwhenyounegotiate;butonlyfactscountincourt—andonlythosefactsthatarerelevanttospecificissuesinyourcaseandwhicharepresentedtothejudgeundertheproperrulesofevidence.Somanyissueshavebeenlostinthecourtsbecausetheyhaveeithernothadtheproperevidencepresented,ortheproperevidencewasexcludedbecauseoftheimproperwayitwaspresented.Don’tletthathappentoyou.Fromnowon,thinkofyourcaseintermsoffactsthatyouoryourspousecanpresentincourtintheformofdocumentsorstatementsofwitnesses.Documentscanbeintroducedifauthenticatedbyawitnesswhostatesfrompersonalknowledgewhatthedocumentis,whereitcamefrom,andthatitisaccurate.Thatwitnesscanbeyouifyoucansweartothosefacts.Inhearingsbeforetrial,youcansometimes,dependingonthemannerinwhichaparticularjudgerunstheircourt,uselivetestimonyorthewitnesses’writtendeclaration,butinatrialonlylivetestimonyofawitnesspresentincourtcanbeused.Startgatheringdocumentsandlistthewitnesseswhocanauthenticateeachdocumentandwitnesseswhocansayotherrelevantthingsabouttheissuesinyourcase.Listwitnesseswhowillbewillingtosignawrittenstatementofwhattheyknowand,ifnecessary,appearsomedayincourt.Speakregularlywithyourattorneyabouttheevidencethatisavailabletoproveyourpositionatcourtandhowpowerfultheevidenceis,whetheritisadmissible,andhow,ifatall,itcouldbechallengedbytheotherside.Thesooneryouandyourlawyerbuildyourstrategyandfile,themoreconfidentyouwillbeinyournegotiationsandthelesslikelyitwillbethatyouwilleventuallyneedatrial.

Why you need strategy

Yourstrategyisyourplanforachievingyourultimategoalsforthedivorce.Planningisessential.Youneedaplan—strategy—todefineyourcaseand lead it toafairconclusion. It ismoredifficult tosucceedagainstsomeonewhohasaplanifyoudon’t.Yourplanshouldnotbebasedonwaitingtoseewhatyourspousedoes,whichislikehavingnoplanatall;or,worse,planningtoletyourspousecalltheshots.Planningisparticularlydifficultforformerlydependentspousesbecausetheyreliedforsolongontheirmatestoplanthingsforthem.Ifyouaresuchaperson,youarelesslikelytosucceedifyoudon’tmakeextraefforttobecomeaplannernow.Evenifyouareinthemiddleofadivorce,itisnottoolate.Ifyouhaveaplanandyourspousedoesnot,youhaveanadvantagethatwillguideyouthrougheverystep.

Tactics guided by strategy Tacticsareplansforanysinglestep.Yourcasecanbeseenasasequenceofskirmishes:phonecalls,letters,discovery,ormotions.Yourstrategywilldictatewhattacticsyouuseateachstep.Let’ssayyourstrategyistoresolvechildissuesbeforeyoudealwithpropertyissues.Ifyourspousemakesanearlymotion regardingproperty, your strategywill tell you tofigure out someway—a tactic—topostponethepropertyissueratherthanjumpingheadlongintoit.Strategywilltellyouwhattofocuson—thatis,themostimportantthingtoyou.Eachletter,phonecall,discovery,ormotionisatacticdictatedbyyourstrategy.Youcan’tdoeverything,soyouhavetofocusonwhatismostimportant.

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Factors that affect your strategy and tactics Inanycase,therearethreefactorsthatdeterminewhat,whenandhowyoudothings.Theseare:

•Yourgoals•Eventsinyourcaseandinyourlife•Whoyouaredealingwithontheotherside

Strategy is based on your goals Strategymeansmakingaplantogetwhatyouwantmost—yourgoals.Youneedtoaskyourselfwhat,veryspecifically,arethemostimportantthingstoyouinyourdivorce.Yourstrategywillbeaplanforachievingthosegoals.Throughoutyourcase,whileputtingyourplan(strategy)intoeffect,keepyourgoalsatthefrontofyourmind.Havingawellthoughtoutplanisoneofthemostimportantaspectsofyourcase.Strangely,mostlawyersdonottailorplansforanyparticularcase.Theytendtosimplyfollowaroutineoffilingonepaperafteranother,handlingallcasesinmoreorlessthesameroutineway.So,evenifyouhavealawyer,youmightneedtocomeupwithaplanifyourlawyerdoesn’t.Ifyouhaven’thiredalawyeryet,orifyouareplanningonchangingyourlawyer,thisissomethingyoushoulddiscussrightfromthebeginningwiththepotentialattorney.

Itwouldbeagoodideatositdownnow,getageneralideaofwhatisinthechaptersinthisbook,thenstartwritingyourplan.Itmightbeonlyafewsentences,butitwillsetyourdirectionandhelpcarryyouthroughtheentirecase.Yourplanshouldconsistoftwothings:(1)ashortlistoftwotofiveofyourmostimportantgoalslistedinorderofimportance,and(2)ashortlistofideasforstepsyoucantaketoaccomplisheachgoal.Forexample, ifyourfirstgoal is tocreateastable,stress-freeparentingfor thechildren,makealistofsomestepsyoucantaketoachievethis.Youcouldaskyourspousetofindanotherplace to live so thekidswon’tbe immersed inconstant tension,andproposeacomfortablevisitationschedule.Ifyourspousewon’tagree,youneedbackupplansforwhatyouwilldonext,thennextafterthat.Tryideasyougetinchapters3and4;seeacounselorormediator;getarestrainingorder—whateveryouthinkthenextstepsshouldbebasedonwhatyouknowaboutyourspouseandyourlife.Dothesamethingfortheothergoalsonyourlist.Youcanrefineyourplanasyoulearnmore.

Next,youneedtobecertainyourgoalsarerealistic,givenyourcircumstances.Becausehavingagoodplanfromthebeginningissoimportant,youshouldspeaktoyourattorney,nothis/herassistant,aboutmakingaplanforyourdivorceorevaluatingaplanyouhavealreadymade.

Thelistofgoalsandtheplanyoumakewillstandbehindeverysteptakenandeverydocumentyouwritten,particularlythestrategicallyimportantones,suchasinitialmotions,lettersofferingtosettle,thesettlementconferencestatement,andthetrialbrief.Asyoureadthroughthisbook,youwillseethatyourplanwillbethecommonthreadthatpullseverythingtogetherandkeepsyouontrack.Youwon’tbeblownoffcoursebywhateveryourspousedoes;instead,youwillsticktoyourgoals.

Short and long-term plans

Thelong-termplanistheimportantone,butyoualsoneedashort-termplantocovertheimmediatefutureandthetimewhilethedivorceispending.Theshort-termplanshouldleadtowhereyouwanttoendupinthelongterm.Ifitdoesn’t,youneedtotakeanewlookatthings.Forexample,let’ssayyourlong-term goal is to encourage contact and bonding between the children and their other parent, andyourparentsarewillingtowatchthekidsforfreewhileyouworkyourpart-timejob,buttheyareveryantagonistictowardtheotherparentandsayunpleasantthingsinfrontofthekids.Thisisaclearconflictbetweenshort-termconvenienceandlong-termgoal.Youhavetofigureoutwhichismoreimportantinanysituationwheretheshort-termplanandlong-termgoalsareinconflict.

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A reliable generic planMostpeoplewillbewell-servediftheygoafterthesethingsinthisorder:

1.Short-termsafetyandstabilityforyou,yourchildren,andproperty2.Satisfactoryparentingarrangementsthatyoucanlivewithindefinitely3.Fullaccesstofinancialinformationanddocuments4.Negotiationandreasonableprogresstowardresolution5.Afairsettlement

1. Create short-term safety and stabilityYoucan’tnegotiateifeitheryouoryourspouseareafraidordon’tknowhowfoodandrentwillbepaidnextweekornextmonth.Itisintheinterestofbothspousestoworkatcreatingshort-termsafetyandstabilityonbothsides.Whileworking towardafinal resolution,youneed tobesafeand relativelyatpeace.Youalsoneed toeat,paybills,parentyourchildren,preserve themaritalestate,preventwasteandhidingofassets.Nomatterwhattheothersidedoes,youmustgetthisforyourselfbeforeyoudomuchelse.Lookingdowntheroad,youcan’texpecttoliveatyourformerlevel,butinconvenienceandcompromiseshouldbesharedmoreorlessequally.Ifyoucan’tarrangeareasonabledegreeofsafety,peace,andfinancialstabilityforyourselfandyourchildrenthroughothermeans,thenlegalactionmightbeinorder.Whilewaitingforthelegalprocesstokickinonyourside,youstillhavetosolveproblemsinapracticalway,anywayyoucan.Forexample,youcan:

•Fileamotionforordersthatwilladdressyourproblem,assumingyoucangetbyforthetimeittakestogetahearingonamotioninyourcounty.Itmightbeusefultokeepnegotiatingwhilethemotion is pending, as the looming court date can helpmove things along.You can file amotionrequestingordersonanyofthefollowing:childorspousalsupport;establishcustodyandvisitation rights; freeze assets or accounts, prevent transfers of property; distribute funds yourspouseisholding,takepossessionofaparticularasset,suchastools,car,computer,andadvancedcontributiontolegalfeesandcosts.•Iftheproblemisveryurgentandcan’twait,youshouldfileanemergencymotion(ExParte)andaskforimmediatetemporaryorders:foranyoftheabovemotionsubjects;tokeepspouseawayfromyou,yourhouse,yourjob,andtohavenocontact;tokickyourspouseoutofthehouse.

2. Parenting arrangementsWhenitcomestochildren,somejudgesdon’tliketochangethestatusquo—meaning“thewaythingsare.”Ifyourspouseisunwillingtocooperateinastableandreliableparentingarrangementthatisagreeabletoyou,yourcurrentrealitysoonbecomesstatusquoandthereforeincreasinglydifficulttochangeincourt;so,youmightbebetteroffgoingstraighttocourtratherthancontinuingtonegotiatetochangeasituationthatyoudon’twant.

Sometimes, getting the right parenting arrangement immediately is very important. If it seems likelythatyouareeventuallygoingtoendupinacustodydisagreementanyway,takelegalaction,butkeepnegotiatingtoo,ifpossible,tryingtogetanagreementforafairandreasonablestatusquothatyoucanlivewith.Thepressureofapendinghearingmighthelp.Manycountiescanscheduleahearingonamotionfairlyquickly,butinothersyou’llprobablywanttofileanExPartemotionforfastestresults.Ifthecourtisbackedup,youshouldalsorequesttemporaryorderspendingthehearing.

3. Full access to financial information and documentsSpousesoweeachotherthehighestdegreeofopennessandhonestywhendealingwithmaritalaffairs.Youhavearighttoallfinancialinformationanddocuments.Youcan’tformgoalsornegotiatewhenyoudon’thavecompleteinformationaboutyourmaritalestateortheincomeandexpensesforbothspouses.

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spousewon’tcooperate(notagoodsignfornegotiation),andifyoucan’tgetwhatyouneedanyotherway,youwillhavetouselegaldiscovery(chapter17)andsendoutinterrogatoriesandsubpoenas.Onceyouhavetheinformationyouneed,youmightbereadytostartnegotiating.

4. Negotiation and reasonable progress toward resolutionTherearemanyeffectivethingsyoucandooutsidethelegalsystemtoencouragenegotiation,asdiscussedinchapters3and4.Thesearefundamentaltechniquesthatyouusebeforeoralongwithanylegalactionyoumightneedtotake.But,certainly,therearesituationswherelegalactioncanbeusefulasatoolofnegotiation.Forexample:

•Movingthingsalong.Ifyouhavebeenpatientandgivenyourspousetimetocopewithemotionsandsuddenchanges,yetyourspouseisdragginghis/herfeet,notgivingthenegotiationsenoughattention,refusingtotakecareofbusiness,thenfileamotionandletthepressureofacourtdatebringsomepressuretothesituation.Besuretotellyourspouseaheadoftimewhatyouaredoingandwhyyouaredoingit.•Breakingimpasse.Ifthere’sonesmallpointthatseemstostandinthewayofmovingforwardtowardacompletesettlement,youshouldconsidermediationorarbitration.Anotherpossibility,dependingonthesubject,isthatitmightbeavalidsubjectforamotionthatwillgetyouadecisionfareasierthangoingtotrial.

5. Get what’s fair, what you have a right to under the lawThisiswhattherestofthebookisabout.Goforyourgoals.Followyourplan.

The effect of events and circumstances

Tacticsmustconsiderevents,buteventsrarelychangestrategy.Whatevercomesupwon’tsidetrackyouforlongifyousticktoyourplanandworktowardyourprimarygoals.Ifyourspousedoessomething,inoroutofcourt,dealwithitandmoveon.AlmostanylegalactiontheothersidecanthrowatyouisdiscussedinPartThree,alongwithactionsyoucanthrowbackso,whensomethingcomesup,youcanbereadytorespondquickly.Longbeforetroublestarts,getanattorneyinyourcornerwhocancoachyouthroughtightspots.Ifsomethinghappens,it’stoolatetostartlookingforhelp.

Tactics based on who you are dealing with

Theemotionaldynamicunderlyingyourcaseisusuallythekeytotheentiredivorce.Thisdoesnotrefertothereasonsyouaregettingdivorcedbuttothewayinwhichyou,yourspouse,andyourattorneysapproachproblems. It isalways theemotions,personalities,andattitudesof theplayers thatdrive thedivorceprocess.Calm,reasonablepeoplecandivideupmillionsinafairlyshort time,whileanangryspousecanmakethedivorcedragonforyearsandconsumemaritalassetsalongtheway.

Thismeansthatwhenyoudealwithyourspousedirectly,itismoreimportantthanatanytimeinyourlifethatyoupayattentiontothekindofpersonyourspouseis—whatmakeshim/hertick.Youweremarriedtothisperson;thisissomeoneyouknowprettywell.Trytoseeyourspouseobjectively,notidealizedaswhenyouwereinloveandnotdemonizedasyoumightfeelrightnow.Beawareofstrengths,weaknesses,patternsofbehavior.Butevenmoreimportant,there’sthematterofyourownfeelingsandattitudes.Ifyoucan’tkeepbusinessandpersonalstuffseparate,you’regoingtoneedhelpnegotiatingandyou’llwanttogetadvicetoseeifyourplanisemotionalorreasonable.

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Youknowbetterthananyoneelsewhatkindofpersonyourspouseis,sodon’tfightit,useit!Putthatknowledgetowork;letitbeyourguideforhowtodealwithyourspouse.Whenthedeal’sdone,youcandowhateveryouwant,butdon’tletyouremotionsgetinthewayofbusiness.Reviewchapters3and4forideasabouthowtodealwithyourspouseandwithyourself.Understandingtheemotionalmakeupandprocessesofyourspousecanpayoffinabigway.Understandingyourselfandbreakingbadhabitscanpayoffevenbigger.Herearesomeexamplesofhowtherelationshipbetweenpersonalitiescanaffectthewayyouconductyourcase:

Controllers Controllers are the peoplewho endup in horrible divorces.These are peoplewhoneed to bein control and to control others.Not being in control—especially for controllerswhowere abused aschildren—bringsuphugefears,sotheyfightforcontrolasiftheywerefightingfortheirlives.Itisveryhardtodocost-effectivelitigationagainstaseriouscontrollerbecausetheywillspendadollartogainfiftycents.

Ifyourspousehasbeencontrollingyou,oneofyourmaingoalsinthedivorceprocessistobreakfree.Thisisdonenotonlywithrestrainingordersbutalsowithfairproperty,supportandcustodyorders.

Inextremecases,youcan’tmakeacontrollerstopfighting,nomatterhowmanytimesyouwinincourt.Theyfightonandon,tryingtoholdontocontrol.Whenacustody/visitationbattlegoesonforyearsandyears,itisoftenbecauseonespouseisaseriouscontroller.Usethetoolsinthisbookandgetadvicewhenyouneedit.

Abusive spouses There is some overlap between abusers and controllers.Normal people hate the legal processandwanttogetoutofitassoonaspossible.Abusivepeoplewelcomeitasanewopportunitytoabusetheirspouse.This isexacerbated if theabuserhasa lotofmoney topaycounsel to join in theabuse.Unfortunately, thesepeopleoftenmasqueradeasa“victim,”andif thejudgedoesnotsee throughthedisguise, the judgemay join in theabuse.Then, the realvictimfindshim/herself thevictimof“courtabuse.”Thiscanbeanextremelytraumatizingprocess.Abusersliketopairupwithmad-dogattorneys,iftheycanaffordto.Ifyourspouseisaseriouscontrolleroranabuser,youcouldfindyourselfinabattlethatgoesonforyearsandyears—longafterallyourfundsforanattorneyareusedup.Thisbookisdesignedtohelpyoufunctioninthattypeoflong,drawn-outbattleaswellashelpingpeoplewhosecasescanbesettledafteronesimplemotion.

Insecure, upset spouses Youcan’tnegotiatewithsomeonewhoisinsecure,upset,orfearful.Theyarelikelytofight,orworse,retainanaggressivelawyertofightforthem.Ifyourspouseisinsecure,there’salotyoucandotocalmhim/her.Letyourspouseknowyou’llbeopenandfair,followalllaws,makenosuddenmoveswithout lettinghim/herknowaheadof time.Make sureboth sideshave somestability for the time ittakestosettlethings.Toneyourselfback,listenmore,don’targue,repeatyourself,orinsist.Takeitslowandeasyandhelpyourspousegaintheconfidencetonegotiate.Donottrytoconyourspouse,becauseifhe/shecatcheson,yourcredibilityiscompromisedfortheremainderoftheexpensivelawsuit.Evenyearslater,theconcouldcomebacktohauntyou.Ifyouaretheinsecureperson,youhavetogetsomeconfidenceorgethelp.You’llfeelalotbetterifyouunderstandthelawsandothersubjectsinthisbook.You’llprobablygetsomeadviceandlearnforcertainwhatyouhavearightto.You’llcometogripswiththefinancialaspectsoflifethatyouletsomeoneelsetakecareofbefore.Thisisthenewyou.

Unresponsive, incompetent or lazy Thislooksalotlikebeingindenial,butitisjustplainbeingslack—mentally,physically,orboth.


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Thispersonisunwillingtotakeresponsibility,makedecisions,getonwithlife.Usemotionsanddeadlinestoencouragethemtopayattention.

Spouses in denial, resisting the divorce Sometimesaspousedoesnotwantadivorce.UnderCalifornialawtheyhavenolegalbasistostopthedivorcefrombeinggranted,sotheyfocusonobstructinganywaytheycan.Spouseswhoareinonlymilddenialwillcomeoutofitwhentheygetthefirstdivorcepapersandseethatthedivorceisreallygoingtohappen.Thentherearespouseswhoarenotintouchwiththeirownfeelingsanddonotrealizethattheywanttostopthedivorce,buttheyfighteachstepalongtheway.Onepurposeofthisbookistoshowyouthatyoucangetadivorcewithoutthecooperationoftheotherside.Meanwhile,discussionorcounselingcouldhelpunderminethedenialandreduceconflict.

Unreal expectations, wrong ideas Peoplegetunrealexpectationsfromalotofplaces:TV,socialmedia,websites,friends,relatives,thehairdresser,oreventhelawyerwhotellsthemwhatevertheywanttohearjusttoberetained.Whereveritcomesfrom,itisalmostimpossibletosettlewithaspousewhoisoperatingonmisinformationorbadadvice.Thecureforthisistomakesurehe/shegetsreliableinformationinaformthathe/shecanaccept.Startbygivinghim/herthisbook,thendiscussthepartsthatapplytoyourcase.Ifyoucanaffordit,payforyourspousetogetadvicefromaqualifiedspecialistattorney.Youmightinvolveamediator.Ifallthatfails,tellyourspousethatyouwanttoletajudgedecide,thenfileamotionononeofthecentraltopicsofdisagreement.Forexample,ifaspousebelievesincorrectlythatnojudgewouldawardsupporttotheotherspouse,thenjustfileamotionforsupportandletthejudgedecide.Inaletter,explainthatyouarefilingthemotionsothetwoofyoucangetaresolutionontheissuefromaneutralparty(thejudge),soyoucangoaheadandsettletheremainingissues.Thiscouldopenthewayforagreementonallothersubjects.

Hanging on Thisisaboutnegativeinvolvement.Holdingupanagreementisawayofnotlettinggo.Keepingtheargumentgoingmakestherelationshiplastlonger,evenifit’snofun.Somepeoplefeel,“I’dratherseeyouincourtthannotseeyouatall.”Trytominimizeyourcontactwiththemandinsistthattheprocessmoveforward.Havingyourspouse’scooperationiscertainlytobepreferred,butinmostcases,youdonotneedyourspouse’scooperationtogetadivorce.Ifyouhavealawyerwhosaysthingsaregoingslowlybecauseyourspousewon’tcooperate,thisisprobablyapoorreflectiononyourlawyer.Readthisbooktolearnaboutwaystogetyourcasefinishedwithoutcooperation.

Conclusion Buildthefoundationforyourcasebywritingdownanoutlineofyourgoalsinorderofpriority,thenplanhowtogetwhatyouwantmost.Foreachgoal,writeabriefplanforhowyouaregoingtoreachit.

Yourgoalsandplanwillbebasedoneverythingyouknowandunderstandatthetime,includingyourself,yourfinances,andtheotherpeopleinyourfamily.Asyougoalong,reevaluateyourgoalswhenyoulearnmoreaboutthelaws,thecourts,anddetailsaboutthefactsinyourcase.Youdonotwanttobechasinggoalsthatareunrealisticinthelightofyouroverallsituationorthelaw.

Stickwithyourplanthroughoutthedivorceunlessthereisamajorchangeofcircumstances(yourspousegettingupsetdoesn’tcount).Youknewyourspousewhenyoumadetheplan.Ifthemostimportantthing in theworld toyou isnot tomakeyourspouseangry,makeyourplanaccordingly.However, ifyouhaveother thingssuchasyourchildrenorfinancesoryourhomethataremoreimportant toyou,that’swhatcomesfirst.Thisisthetimeforarealistic,truelookatwhatyouwant.Whenyouareclearonthat,yourplanwillcarryyouthroughthedivorce,anditwillbereflectedinallyourmajormovesanddocuments.


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CHAPTER 7WORKING WITH AN ATTORNEY

Thisbookisnotintendedtoreplaceanexperiencedfamilylawattorney-nobookcan.Butinwhatevercapacityyouchoosetouseone,youcansavealotoftroubleandmoneyifyoufirstlearnhowtoselectalawyer,howtosuperviseyourcasewhilerepresentedbyone,andtoalwayspreparebeforeyoucontact them. For thosewhoareconsideringnothiringa lawyer,youneedtoconsiderwhatyouhavetoloseandwhetheritisworththegambletoparticipateinacomplicateddivorceprocesswithoutprofessionalhelp.Ifyourspousehasalawyer,thenyousimplyneedtohireoneaswell.Otherwise,youaremostlikelygoingtobeoutmaneuveredandyourisklosingwhatyouarelegallyentitledtoduetotechnicalitiesandmanipulation.

A.WhatagoodattorneycandoB.Limitedscopeorcoach?C.HowtofindagoodattorneyD.HowtogetthemostfromyourattorneyE.HowtosuperviseyourattorneyF.It’seasytofireanattorneyG.Howtoworkagainstyourspouse’sattorney

JUDGMENT

PRE-TRIAL MOTION



DISCOVERY

CUSTODY MEDIATION


TRIALTHE

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RESPONSE

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What a good attorney can do

Goodattorneysknowdivorcelawandprocedureindepthanddetail,thelocalrulesandpractices,andhavesubstantialreal-worldexperienceinbothmediationandlitigation.Theycanevaluateasituation,diginformationoutoftheotherside,planstrategy,re-planstrategyascircumstanceschange,conductlegalresearch,properlypreparearguments,defendlegalactionsfromtheotherside,tactfullynegotiatewiththeothersidewherepossible,andprepareyourcaseandwitnessesforhearings,and,ifyourcasegoesallthewaytotrial,canpresentevidenceaswellasexamineandcross-examinewitnesseswhennecessary.

Agoodattorneyshouldbeable togetacase intonegotiationandonlyfightwhenappropriate.Iftheyneedtofight,theycanbetough,effective,andefficient,yetalwayslookingfortherighttimetogetback intonegotiation.Theydonot letcases lingerwithoutastatedreason.Areallygoodattorneywouldtailorhis/herstrategytoyourgoalsanddealwithyouasanindividual.Theywouldunderstandandappreciatethatthisisyourlifeandwouldworkinpartnershipwithyouduringtheentireprocess.Theycould(iftheywould)helpyouunderstandtherules,formyourgoals,andunderstandthestrategybeingfollowedinthecase.Theyansweryourcallswithin24hoursandkeepyouabreastofwhat’sgoingonateachstep.

If the attorney is an experienced mediator, he/she probably also knows how to listen andcommunicate, negotiate effectively, defuse rather than create conflict, balance the negotiating powerbetweentheparties,findandsuggestalternativesandoptionsthepartieshaven’tthoughtof,andhelpthepartiesgetpastemotionalissuestodealwithbusiness.

Theproblem.Ihatetowritethis,butmostattorneys,evenso-calledFamilyLawSpecialists,arebelowaverage,oratleastbelowwhatIthinkaverageshouldbe.Inpart,thisbookwaswrittenbecausegoodattorneysaresohardtofind.Thisbookwillhelpyoulearnhowtomanageyourcaseasmuchaspossibleandchooseandsuperviseanattorneyifyoudecidetoretainone.Throughmyefforts,Ihopetoraisetheaveragelevelofdivorcepracticebyeducatingthereaderstoknowhowtoinsistonqualityrepresentation.

Limited scope or coach?

Usinganattorneyisnotpleasant.However,becauseourlegalsystemissoexcessivelycomplex,ifyoucanfindandaffordagoodattorneytorepresentyouthroughoutthedivorceprocess,thatwouldbeareasonablechoice—providedthatyouusethisbooktostayinchargeofyourowncaseandsuperviseyourattorneytomaintainatleastthestandardsestablishedhere.

Ifyoufindagoodattorneybutcan’taffordthehighcostofhavinghim/herhandleyourentirecase,considerusingthatattorneyundera“limitedscope”,whichmeanshiringthemforspecificissuesortasks,asopposedtohiringthemtohandleyourentirecase—assuminghe/shewillworkinthatcapacity(manywillnot).Amildlycontesteddivorceinvolvingonlyonecourtappearancecancost$5,000or$8,000oneachside,butwithadifficultattorneyorpartyoneitherside,itcouldgofarhigher.Foramoderatelycontesteddivorce,plantospend$20,000–$40,000oneachside,whileahotlycontesteddivorcecancostwellover$50,000oneachside.Iknowmanycoupleswhohavespenthundredsofthousandsandspentyearsinlitigation.

Somesourcesmaysuggestthatyouhireanattorneytocoachyouwhileyourepresentyourself.However,rememberthatnotallcasesandnotallpeopleareappropriateforcoaching.Especiallywhenyourspouseisrepresented,usinganattorneyasacoachissimilartobeinginaboxingringagainsta

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How to find a good attorney

Beforeyougoseeanyattorney,youaregoingtogetcompletelyprepared,butthatcomesnext.First,let’sdiscusshowtofindtheattorneyyouwanttouse.

The search Shoppingforanattorneyislikeshoppingforacar;youhavetoexploreenoughchoicesuntilyoufindtheonethatfeelsright.DoNOTmakethemistakeoflookingforthelowestpricedattorney.Youwilloftenfindthatyouwillgetwhatyoupaidfor.Ifyourcaseisonethatcouldbehandledbya“lowcost”attorney,thenitismostlikelyonethatyoushouldbeabletohandleyourself.In looking for an attorney, you need to spend time interviewing asmany attorneys as your time andpatiencewill allow. I realize talking to attorneys is not themost pleasant thingon anyone’s list, butyouneedtoputinthetimeandduethework.It’ssimplytooimportanttogowiththefirstchoice.Anddefinitelydonotmaketheassumptionthatalllawyersarethesame.Theyarenot!

Lookfortheattorneyswiththeexperienceandexpertisenecessarytohandleacaseofyourcaliber.Letthemaskyouwhatisinvolvedandlistencritically.Dotheyaskenoughquestionstounderstandthedetailsofyoursituation,ordodoesitsoundliketheyassumeyourdivorceislikealltheothers?Afterthat,dotheyexplainyourrightsandoptionsinawaythatyoucanunderstand?Dotheyformulateaplanandastrategyforyourcaseandexplainittoyouwiththebestandworstcasescenarios?Becarefulofattorneyswhotellyouwhatyouwanttohear.Fartoomanyattorneyswillsugarcoatyoursituationinhopesthatyouwillretainthem,onlytolatersay,“ohwell,itdidn’tworkoutthatway”afteryouhavespentthousandsonthem.ONLYafteryouhavefoundafewattorneyswhomeettheabovecriteria,thenselectthelowestcostoneofthatlot.

Youhavearighttoaskquestionsandbechoosyaboutwhomyouhireforsuchanimportantroleinyourlife.Don’tbeintimidated.Callaroundandaskhowmuchitwillcostjusttomeetthelawyerandseeifyouwanttoretainorusehim/her.Manyattorneysdoaninitialinterviewfornothingorafairlysmallfee.Askwhattheirhourlyrateis.Ratesrunfrom350to$700perhour,but$500iscommon;higherinurbanareas,lowerelsewhere.Familylawattorneyswillalsorequirearetainer,whichisanadvancedamountofmoneythatwillbedepositedintotheirattorney-clienttrustaccountandserveassecurityorthelawyer’sfees.Thesefundsshouldberefundabletoyoutotheextenttheyarenotusedattheendofyourcase.

Manyattorneys—perhapsmost—willonlywanttoworkifretainedasattorneyofrecord,soifyouarelookingforadvice,coaching,andmaybesomepaperworkwhileyouhandleyourowncase,youshouldaskattheverybeginningiftheattorneywillworkwithyouinthiscapacityandatwhatrate.

Youwantalawyerwhohassubstantialexperienceandexpertiseindivorce.Donotblindlyrelyonanattorney’scertificationasaspecialistwiththeStateBarofCalifornia.Neithershouldyoubeswayedbytheiraddressortheappearanceoftheiroffice.Neitherofthesewilltellyouanythingaboutwhethertheyareagoodattorneyornot.Fartoomanyattorneyswhoarecertified(havepracticedforover5years,havemetsomeminimumcourtrequirementsandhavetakenatest)arenobetterthanotherattorneys.

Attorneyswhoareexpertinmediationaremorelikelytogiveyouproblem-solvingadvice,whereastraditionalattorneystendtobeorientedtolitigationsotheiradvicetendstobeadversarial.Ideally,your

professionalboxer,andyouhavingacoachinstructingfromoutsidethering-youwillgethurt.Therearesimplycertainsituationsinwhichproperrepresentationwithagoodattorneyisnecessary.Acoachmaybeabletohelpyoutreatamildheadachebutwillnotbeabletohelpyouperformsurgery.

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attorneywillhavesubstantialexperienceinbothmediationandlitigation.Yourattorneymustbesomeoneyoufeelyoucantrustandworkwithcomfortably.Watchoutforanyattorneywhoseemstomakethingsmorecomplicatedorwhourgesyoutodothingsthatcouldleadtomoreconflict.Avoidsituationswhereyoudon’tlikethewaytheattorneyorstafftreatyou.Avoidlawyerswithapushy,domineeringpersonality;theymaynotlistentoyouorbewillingtodothingsyourway.

Thebestwaytofindadivorcelawyerisontherecommendationofaprofessionalwhoseopinionyou trust—someone who works in a field that gives him/her an opportunity to know about divorceattorneysandtheirreputations,suchasacounselor,accountant,financialplanner,etc.Nextbest is thepersonalrecommendationofsomeoneyoutrustwhohashadadivorceinyourcountyandwaspleasedwithaparticularlawyer’sservices.But,ifyourfriend’scasewaseasyandyoursisn’t,theirexperiencehaslimitedvalue.

Be very cautiouswith recommendations from people you don’t knowwell, especially if theydidn’thaveadivorcesimilartoyours.Itwon’thelpyoutoknowthatacertainattorneyisgoodatbusiness,personalinjury,orcriminalwork,nordoesthefactthatyourfriend’sattorneynegotiatedbrilliantlymeanhe/shecanfightyourrabidspouseandthemad-dogattorney.

Theattorneyyouchoosewillstronglyaffectthetemperatureinyourcase.Isuggestthatyouavoidanyonewhoseemscynical,unnecessarilyaggressive,ormoralistic.Formostcases,youwantsomeonewhopreferstoavoidconflictinfavorofnegotiationandcompromise.Insomecases,however,youknowaheadoftimethatyouwantsomeonewhocanslugitoutiftheothersidegetsugly.Ideally,youwantanattorneywhoisskilledinbothnegotiationandsettlementifpossible,andlitigationtotheextentnecessary.

The interview Whenyoucallforanappointment,askifthepersonyouaretalkingtocananswerquestionsabouttheattorney’srates,background,orpractice.Asksomeofthefollowingquestionsmeantfortheattorney.Questionsthestaffwon’tanswer,youneedtoasktheattorneywhenyougetthere.Beverywellpreparedbeforeyougoin,asdetailedinsectionDbelow.

About the attorney’s background•Howlonghaveyoubeeninpractice?•Whatpercentageofyourpracticeisdivorce?Howmuchexperiencedotheyhavewithactualtrials(manyattorneyshaveverylittleexperiencewithtrials,ornoneatall)AreyouaBar-certifiedspecialist?•Doyouhaveexperienceasadivorcemediator?

About fees•Howmuchdoyouchargeifyoutakemycaseasattorneyofrecord?•Areyouwillingtoworkasmycoachorconsultant?Ifso,howmuchdoyoucharge?•HowamIbilledforyoursecretary’stimeorresearchbyotherstaff?•Howmuchdoyouneedtogetstarted(theretainer)?•Istheinitialretainerappliedagainstfuturebillings?Ifthere’sabalance,willitbereturned?•Whatcostscanweanticipate?•Doyoubillexactlyfortimespent,ordoyouroundofftoahighertimeperiod?

About other things•CanIexpectyoutoreturnmycallswithin24hours?•CanIexpectacopyofallpapersanddocumentsandreportsonnegotiations?•Doyouneedanyinformationthatyoudon’thaveyet?


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Tellthelawyerhowyouwantittobe.Beingincontrolofyourowncaseisthesinglebestthingyoucando.Youhavetoactuallytelltheattorneythatthisiswhatyouwant.Tellthelawyeryouwillrelyonhis/heradvice,butthatyouexpecttomakedecisionsincludingstrategy,andthatyouwanttodiscussaheadoftimeallstepstakeninyourcase.Findoutifhe/shecanworkcheerfullyonthisbasis.Optionally,sayyouwanttoseecopiesofletterstotheothersidebeforetheygoout.Thisletsyoufindouthowfastworkgetsdoneandifyoulikethewayyourpointsaremade.Thistakestimeandcostsmore,soonceyouaresatisfiedwiththeirwork,youcaneliminatethisstep. Ask,“Howwouldyouproceedinthiscase?Whatarethefirststepsyouwouldtake?Whatwouldbeyourgoals?”Iftheattorneycannotmakeaplanatthebeginningofthecase,thisisnotagoodsign.

Finally,asktohaveacopyoftheirstandardretaineragreement;thengohome,readtheagreement,andthinkaboutallyouhaveheardandseen.Ifyouwanttoretaintheattorney,itisnowtimetonegotiatethetermsoftheretainercontract.Notallattorneyswillnegotiatetheirrates.Infact,mostofthebetterattorneyswillnotastheyhaveenoughbusinesswheretheydon’tneedto.Iftheattorneyistooeagertoretainyouornegotiatetheirrates,itmaysaysomethingabouthowdesperatetheyareandthatmaysuggestsomethingabouthimorher.However,youwon’tknowuntilyouask.

The retainer agreement Youmightnotneedoneoftheseifyouareonlygoingtousetheattorneynowandthenforadviceandservice,butthelawdoesrequireawrittenretainercontractinanycasethatislikelytorunover$1,000,sosomeattorneysmightinsistinanycase.Aretaineragreementshouldspecifyingreatdetailwhatworkistobedone,underwhatconditions,andthefeeorthemannerinwhichthefeewillbecalculated.

Chancesare,thebetteryouunderstandtheagreement,thelessyouwilllikeit.Youwillprobablybehandedalegalisticdocument,withmanyrequirementsmandatedbythestateBar,andwhichisbasicallydesignedtoprotecttheattorneyfromalotofthings—mostlyyou—andexpectedtosignitasis.Don’t.Herearesomethingsyoucandoandtermsyoucanasktohavewrittenintotheretainerthatwillhelpprotectyourinterests.

Aretainercontractissomethingyounegotiatelikeanyotherdeal,andthereisnolawthatsaysithastobeatake-it-or-leave-itproposition.Attorneyswiththatattitudemaybeotherwisehardtoworkwith,sokeeplooking.Billingpracticescanworktoyourdisadvantage,soyouwanttoexamineandgivecarefulthoughttothedetailsofanyretaineryouareaskedtosign.Takeithome,studyit,makesureyouunderstand everything in it beforeyou sign.Discuss termsyoudon’t understand and termsyouwantchangedoradded.Itisokaytorequestanddiscusstermsthatyouwantbutdon’texpecttoget.

Here are some points you can bring to a retainer negotiation, in order of importance to you:• Be clear that you won’t pay for time spent negotiating the attorney’s contract. The attorney is working for himself during that time, so billing should start only after the contract is signed.• Likewise, you never want to pay for time spent discussing the bill or your contract or problems with their service—only for time spent working your case.• Make sure the retainer paid will be applied to future billings and not kept as a base fee for taking the case. Specify that all unused portions will be returned.• Specify that you get copies of all documents and letters, either incoming or outgoing. • Limit rounding off. Try to avoid the common practice of billing a quarter hour for a five- minute phone call. Say that you want no more than six-minute (.1) rounding and you don’t care if the software won’t do it; that’s their problem.


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How to get the most from your attorney

Wheneveryoucontactanattorney,eventheinitialinterview,beverywellprepared.Knowyourfacts,knowwhatyouwanttoaskabout,andknowexactlywhatyouwantthelawyertoexplainordoforyou.Planeachconversation:makeanagenda;writedownthethingsyouwanttotalkabout;takenotesonthecontentofeveryconversation;keeptrackoftimespentonallphonecallsandmeetings.Keepafileforallyournotes,letters,anddocuments.Doasmuchaspossibleonthephoneandbymailtokeepofficetimetoaminimum.Workwiththeattorney’sstaffwheneverpossible;it’scheaper.

Regardyourattorneyasaresource,notsomeoneyoudependonforemotionalsupportandstability.Lawyerscosttoomuchtouseforsympathyandconsolation—that’swhatfamily,friends,andtherapistsarefor.Whenyou talk toa lawyer,stick towhat’s importantanddon’t justchat, ramble,orcomplainaboutthingsyourspousedidunlessyouactuallywantyourlawyertodosomethingaboutit.Thisisnottosaythattheattorneyshouldnotcareenoughaboutyoutoaskhowyouareandtoputthingsinproperperspectiveforyou.Butyouarehiringalawyer,notatherapist.

How to supervise your attorney

Ifyouretainanattorneytohandleyourcase,youstillwanttobeincontrolasmuchaspossible—afterall,it’syourlifeatstakehere—andyouwanttosuperviseyourattorneytobesureyouarebeingrepresentedcompetently.Readthisbooktoobtainastandardbywhichtomeasureyourattorney.Iftheattorneydoesnotperformatleastaswellastheguidelinesdescribedinthisbook,thatwouldbearedflag.

Somedelaysarebuiltintothelegalsystem.Anyadditional,unexplaineddelayswillbetheresultofattorneyfootdraggingandshouldnotbetolerated.Yourcaseshouldalwaysbegoingsomewherespecificunlessthereisaconsciousplantowaitforaspecificreason.

Planning.This is something youmight have to bring up, asmany attorneys don’t do it.Afterreadingchapters1and6,youcantelltheattorneyyourgoalsanddiscussaplantogetwhatyoumostwant.

Temporaryorders.ManyattorneysroutinelyfileinitialmotionsorOSCsRFOsineverycase,butunlessthereisaspecificstrategicreasonbasedonyourplan,tellthemnottodothis.Ifnotessential,thispracticemerelyrunsupfeesandcreatesmoreconflict.

Gettinginformation.Ifyoufollowchapter8,youwillknowhowtogetinformationwithoutusingthelegalsystem.Fromreadingchapter17,you’llknowthemostcost-effectivewaystouselegalprocedurestodemandinformationanddocuments,andyou’llknowhowlongittakes.Atthebeginning,discusswithyourattorneywhatinformationisneededandmakesuretheprocessofgettingitisunderwaywithinaweekoftheretainer.Monitortheresponsesfromtheothersideanddecidewhatadditionaldiscoveryisnecessary.Iftheothersidedoesnotrespondinatimelymanner,amotionshouldbequicklymade.Ifyourattorneycan’tkeepupwiththeproceduresdescribedinthisbook,startlookingaroundforanotherattorney.

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• Request a monthly billing with detailed itemization on each bill that shows the date and time for each task, total time spent, and amount billed. • Ask about charges, if any, for secretary and staff time. Request that amounts for time billed to secretaries, research assistants, paralegals, or associate attorneys be billed separately so you can see exactly what is going on and who is doing what.• Make it clear that you will not be charged for experts retained without your written consent.


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Negotiating.This is somethingyoumight endupdoingyourself.Fewattorneyshavehad anytrainingatit,attorneytimeisveryexpensive,and,asastatisticalfact,mostspouseseventuallyendupsettlingtheirownissuesthemselves.

Delay.Ingeneral,thesoonerthecaseisfinished,thelowerattorneyfeeswillbe,sodon’tletyourattorneybeslowtorequestatrialdate.Afteryouhavepushedthroughdiscovery,ifnegotiationsaren’tgoinganywhere,itisprobablytimetosetthecasefortrial(chapter22).Askyourlawyerifthereisanygoodreasonwhythiscan’tbedone.Youwouldbesurprisedhowmany“experienced”familylawlawyershaveeitherneverhadanactualtrial,orhadveryfewtrialsandareactuallyintimidatedbythem.Ifsomenecessaryevidencehasnotbeenobtained,thelawyershouldbeabletotellyoupreciselywhatisneeded,theplantogetit,andhowlongthatwilltake.However,makesurethatyourcaseisactuallyreadyfor trialbeforeyoudemandthatyourattorneysetone. Far toomanyattorneysdonotproperlyprepareacaseinhopesthatacasewillsettleandwillonlyprepareonceacaseisapproachingtrial.Alsoknowthatwhenacaseisgoingtobesetfortrial,mostattorneyswillrequesta“trialretainer”whichcanbesubstantial.

Legalability.Usethisbookasaguidetominimumstandardsforlegalpractice.Forexample,itisnotunusualforanattorneytohavenoideahowtodotherecords-onlydepositionpackageexplainedhere.Iftheycan’tsubpoenarecordswhenyouneedthem,youmayneedanotherattorney.Asyoureadthisbook,askyourselfifyourattorneyknowsthisinformationandwhyhe/shedoesnotuseproceduresatleastaseffectiveasthosedescribedhere.Ifyoufindthatyourattorneyisunawareoftheseprocedures,youshouldgetasecondopinionorchangeattorneys.

If you feel your attorney is not properly representing you Ifyoufeelyourattorneyisnotdoingtherightthing,thefirstthingtodoistogetacompetentsecondopinion.Divorcingadifficultpersoncanbeverydifficultandunpleasant.Youneedasecondopiniontodeterminewhetheryourattorneyisfailingyouorwhethertheprocessismerelyhorrible.Whatyoudonotdoistellyourattorneyyouthinktheyaredoingarottenjob.Iftheattorneyisreallyincompetent,sayingthiswillnothelp;iftheattorneyisactuallyokay,theywillbeoffendedbyyourcomments.

Whenyougo for a secondopinion,haveanorganizedcopyof allyour informationandcourtpaperswithyou.Withoutthecourtpapers,theattorneycannotgiveyouanyopinionatall.Ifthesecondopinionconfirmsyourbeliefthatyouarebeingpoorlyrepresented,youshouldgetanotherattorney.Butchangingattorneyscanbeanexpensivepropositionas thenewattorneywillneed tobecomefamiliarwiththecasefileandtheywillneedtochargeforthattime.Soheadthewarningsatthebeginningofthissectiononselectingtherightattorneyinthefirstplaceanddonotjustgofortheleastexpensiveattorney

Acaseshouldhavedefinablestagesthatprogresstowardsagoalwithoutbeingdeflectedfor longbyanythingtheothersidedoesordoesn’tdo.Ifnoncooperationcandeflectthecase,itisnotbeingpursuedwithsufficientvigor.Yourattorneyshouldhaveaplanforthecasefromthebeginning,including:

•gettingtemporaryorders(ifrequiredbyyourplan)•gettinginformationanddocuments•negotiatingtowardsettlement•settingthecasefortrialifsettlementisn’tforthcoming•gettingexpertsandevidencereadyfortrial•goingtotrialifsettlementprovesimpossible

Thefirstthreestepscanbeundertakenmoreorlessatthesametime,dependingonyoursituation.Youneedinformationtonegoti-ateandyoucanstartnegotiatingaboutgettinginformation.


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youfind,orblindlyrelyonsuperficialelementssuchastheiraddress,thelookoftheirofficeortheirtitleasaspecialist.

It’s easy to fire an attorney

Youhavearighttodischargeyourattorneyatanytimeforanyreasonornoreasonatall,whetherornotanymoneyisowed.It’seasy—allyouhavetodoisfileaform.Ofcourse,youwillcontinuetooweyourformerlawyerfortimespentworkingonyourcase.

Ifyourlawyerisnotperformingtoyoursatisfaction,youshouldsendaletter(keepcopies)settingoutveryspecificallywhatneedstobechanged.If thereisnoimprovement,startshoppingforanotherlawyer.Somethingscan’tbechanged.Forexample,ifyoulosetrustandconfidenceinyourlawyer,getanotherone.Nothingisworsethanfeelingtrappedinabadrelationshipwithyourownattorney.

Ifyouwanttofireyourattorney,simplyuseaformcalled“SubstitutionofAttorney.”

Youhavetwochoicesnow:1.Substituteanotherattorneyforyouroldattorney.Inthiscase,yournewattorneywilltakecareofthesubstitutionandgetallfilestransferred.2.Substituteyourselfinasyourownattorneyandaskthatallfilesbesenttoyou.Then,whenyouhavefoundanewattorney,thenewonecansubstituteinasyournewlawyerusingthesameform.

How to work against your spouse’s attorney

If you are represented, it is your attorney’s job to handle the other attorney; in fact, the otherattorneyisforbiddenbylawtotalktoyoudirectly.However,ifyouarerepresentingyourself,youconductyour ownnegotiations and contactswith the other side. In all your contactswith the other side, it isessentialthatyoualwaysbebusinesslikeandefficientnomatterhowtheyact,chummyorugly.

Youhavetoworkagainsttheopposingattorneyabittoseehowhe/sheworks.Forexample,atthebeginningofthecase,youstartofftryingtoexchangewithyourspousetheinformationyouneedtogetthroughyourdivorce,tryingtodoitvoluntarilyandcheaply.Ifyoudon’tgettheinformationorresponseyouareaskingfor,possiblyyourspouseisworkingwithanattorneywhoisdilatory,ornotcompetent,or a sharkwhocannotwork cooperatively.So, you start some formaldiscovery (chapter 17) and seewhathappens.Ifyouendupmakingmotionstocompeldiscovery(chapter18),youareinforastruggle.Unfortunately, it isnotunethical tobeapoorattorneyorunpleasant,difficult,andconfrontational, soattorneyswhoactlikethatarenotsubjecttodisciplinebytheBar. When your spouse’s attorney is the problem Ifyourspousehasanattorneywhoyoufeeliscreatingconflict,saythisinalettertoyourspouseunlessyouarealreadysurethatthisiswhatyourspousewants.Itisnotuncommonforaspousetoblamethe“mean”attorney,butifafterseveraleventstheattorneyhasnotbeenfiredorcontrolled,youhavetoassumethattheattorneyisdoingwhatyourspousewants,oratleastwithyourspouse’sconsent.

Sometimesanattorneystandsinthewayofsettlement.Thetwopartiesmaytalkandreachabasicagreement,buteverytimeonereturnstohis/herattorney,theattorneybringsupmoreissuesorwritesuptheagreementinawaythatwreckstheagreement.Sometimesthisislegitimatebecausethepartiesmadeanagreementthatwasnotthoroughlythoughtout,soitturnsouttherereallywasnotameetingofminds.Butothertimestheattorneyisjustatroublemaker.Whenthathappens,theonlywaytogettoasettlement

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isifthepartywiththeconfrontationalattorneywilltelltheattorneytocutitout.Thisisverydifficulttoaccomplishbecausesuchattorneysaremastersatflaringuppeople’semotions.

When your spouse is the problem Sometimesapartywantsit toappearthathe/sheispersonallytryingtobereasonable,but thatmeanattorneyisdoingbadthings.Thisisdifferentfromtheconfrontationalattorneycausingtheproblem.Inthissituationthepartyisreallytheonewhoopposessettlementbutisnothonestorassertiveenoughtosayso.He/shehidesbehindthescreenof theattorney—buthe/shehiredtheattorney,keepspayingtheattorney,anddoesn’tputafootdown.Inthissmokescreensortofsituation,itisthepartywhoistheproblem.And,thepartymayneveradmititevenifeveryonecanseeit.Apartyisfreeatanytimetofirehis/herattorney.Ifyourspousechoosesnottocontrolorfiretheattorney,he/sheisinfactresponsibleforwhattheattorneyisdoing,andallyoucandoisletyourspouseknowthatyouseethroughthescreen,andyouknowitisyourspousewhoisincharge.Letyourspouseknowthataslongastheattorneyproceedsinthesamefashion,youholdyourspouseresponsible.


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CHAPTER 8HOW TO GET THE INFORMATION YOU NEED

Guesswhatwillhappen ifyouchargeblindly intoyourdivorcewithoutknowinghowthe lawworks,what thelegalsystemis like,andthefactsofyourmaritalestate?Ifyouwant toplayRussianroulettewithyourlifeorvolunteertobeavictim,thenokay,stumbleon.Otherwise,prepareyourcaseandprepareyourself.Sure,ittakessometimeandeffort,butitisessential,itisworthit.

It’stimetomakesureyouhavethefactsanddocumentsyouneed—thingsyouneedtoknowbeforeyoucanformgoalsandmakedecisionsaboutwhatyouhavearightto,whatyouwant,ornegotiateafinalsettlement,orpressyourcasetowardaconclusionincourt.Inthischapter,Ishowyouwhatinformationyouneedandhowtogetitwithoutresortingtolegalaction.

A.TheinformationyouneedB.EasywaystogetinformationC.RightsanddutiesofaspouseD.HowtorespondtorequestsforinformationE.Disclosureanddiscovery

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The information you need

Localrules.Oneofthefirstthingsyoumustdoistogetfamiliarthelocalrulesofcourtforyourcounty,ormakesureyourlawyerisawareofthem;notalllawyersare.Statelawgovernsthebigpicture,buteverycountyhasitsownrulesforlittledetailsabouthowcasesareconductedintheircourts.Insomecounties,therulesareout-of-dateandnotmuchreliedupon,butunlessyouknowthisforafact,youcan’ttakethechanceofignoringthem.Theserulescanchangeatanytimeandwithoutnotice,sobesureyourlawyerisusingthelatestversion. Factsanddocuments.Youwanttolearneverythingthereistoknowaboutyourmaritalassetsanddebts,andabouttheincomeandexpensesofbothspouses.Yourlawyerwillneedallthisinformation,soyouwillsavealotoftimeandmoneyifyoucollectandorganizeasmuchinformationasyoucanbeforeyougoin.Whatyoucan’tfind,he/shewillknowhowtoget.

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Organize the facts of your case.

Here’sapartiallistofimportantinformationanddocumentsyouwillormayneed:

•FederalandStatetaxreturnsforthelastthreeyears•Bankrecordsforthreeyears:passbooks,statements,andcheckbooks•Creditcardstatementsforthepastthreeyears•Realestatedeedsandmortgagepapers,leaseorrentalagreements•Insurancepapers,policies,statements•Autolicensenumbers,registration,andinsuranceinformation•Driver’slicensenumbersforbothyouandyourspouse•Statementsandrecordsforstockaccounts,mutualfunds,pensionplans•Booksandrecordsforaprivatepracticeorself-employedbusiness(fullorpart-time)•Booksandrecordsforanyrentalactivities•Electronicallystoredinformation(ESI):businessrecords,financialrecords,intellectualproperty,softwarecode,art,music,writing,etc.Recordsrelatedtoanythingonthislist•Birthcertificatesforyou,yourspouse,andthechildren•SocialSecuritynumbersforyou,yourspouse,andthechildren•Healthinsurancecards,copiesofmedicalrecords•Yourpassportandanyimmigrationdocuments•Familyaddressbooks,calendars

Doyoualreadyhavethesethings?Ifyoualreadyhaveaccesstothefactsanddocumentsofthemarriage,andyour spousedoesn’t, thenyouhaveagreatopportunity to reducepotentialconflictandunnecessaryexpense.Simplymakesureyourspousehasopenaccesstoallrecordsandinformationinyour possession, but never loan or give awayyour last copy!Your opennesswill reduce anxiety andincreasetrust.Notricksnow,becausetheyusuallybackfireand,thewayCalifornialawworks,anyeffortyoumaketohideinformationwillprobablyleaveyouvulnerableandcostyoualot.

Thebareandbasicminimum.Youneedacopyofyourjointincometaxreturnsforthelasttwoorthreeyears.Ifyouownahomeorotherrealproperty—homes,condos,rawland—youmustgetcopiesofallthedeeds,purchasepapers,andmortgagedocuments.Youneedcopiesofstatementsfrombanksandotherfinancialinstitutionsforthepresentandforayearbeforeyourspouseknewtherewouldbeadivorce(tomakesurenothingtrickywasdoneinanticipationofthedivorce).


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Someassetsarehardtofind.Deferredcompensation(incomeyourspousereceivedandputinasavings-typeretirementplan)willnotappearontaxreturnsorinabankaccount,andmightnotappearonpaystubs—forexample,ifthecontributionsarenotbeingmadecurrently.Theserecordsmustbeobtainedfromyourspouseorfromyourspouse’semployerthroughasubpoena.Tax-freeincome—forexample,incomefrommunicipalbonds—willprobablynotappearonanincometaxreturn.Tolocateanassetthatproducestax-freeincome,includingtax-freemutualfunds,youprobablyhavetogetacopyofthechecksusedtobuytheasset,astatement,orfindotherwrittenevidence.

Easy ways to get information

Whenyoucollectinformation,maketwoorthreecopiesofeverything.Ifyou“borrowed”yourspouse’srecordstocopy,returnoriginalsthatyoudon’tpersonallyneed.Onesetgoestoyourlawyer,onesetisforyourworkingfiles,andonesetshouldbeputinaverysafeplace:asafe-depositbox,storagelocker,orsomeothersecureplaceyourspousecan’tgetinto.Donothidethingsinahousethetwoofyoushareorinthetrunkofyourcar.

Askyourspouse.Ofcourse,thesimplestthingistoobtaincopiesofdocumentsfromyourspouse—justasknicely.Butifyoudon’twantyourspousetoknowyouarecollectingdocuments,orifyourspouseisnotcooperative,orifyouthinkyourspousecan’tbetrusted,youcanobtainasurprisingamountofinformationactingcompletelyonyourown.

Collectwhatyouhaveaccesstorightnow.Agreatdealofinformationisavailabletoyourightnowifyoujustgogetit.Youhavearighttoallinformationaboutyourmaritalestateandyouactuallyownrecordsrelatedtojointaccountsordocumentsthathaveyournameonthem.

Thehomecomputer.Ifyourspouseusesacomputerandyouhaveaccesstoit,makesureyougetacopyofallimportantorusefuldataonit.Ifyoudon’tknowhowtodothissafely,findacomputerconsultanttodoitforyou.Makeduplicatecopiesofdataandputonecopysomewheresafeawayfromyourhomeoroffice.Ifyourspousehasputapasswordonthecomputerandyoucan’tgetintoit,taketheentireunit,oratleastthecomputerbox,andputitwhereyourspousecan’tgetit.Then,youcanfileamotionaskingthecourttoorderyourspousetogiveyouthepassword,oraskthecourttoorderadisinterestedthirdpartytoholdthecomputer,receivethepasswordfromyourspouse,andcopyallinformationfromitbeforethecomputergoesbackintoyourspouse’scontrol.UseanExParte(emergencyhearing)insteadofamotionifyourspousehasanurgentneedforthecomputer;forexample,ifthefamilybusinessrunsonit.Takingacomputerisahostileactwhichyoumustweighagainstthepossibilityoflosingwhateverinformationmightbeonthatcomputerthatcouldbehiddenfromyoulaterifthingsdon’tgowell.

Taxreturns.Youhavealegalrighttoacopyofanyjointincometaxreturnthatwassignedbybothyouandyourspouse.Itisbesttohavecomplete,certifiedcopiesofyourreturnsandallamendedreturns,togetherwithallschedulesandattachments,notjusttheform1040.YoucangetcertifiedcopiesoffederalreturnsfromtheIRSandstatereturnsfromtheCaliforniaFranchiseTaxBoard.

Ifyouusedaprofessionaltopreparetaxreturns,youcanaskforcopiesfromrecentyears,butmostdonotkeepW-2formsandtheycannotcertifycopies;however,yourexwillprobablyadmittothecopiesofthereturns,soitmaynotbeabsolutelynecessarytogetcertifiedcopies.Evenifyourtaxpreparerisagreatfriendofyourspouse,he/sheisobligatedbylawtogiveyouacopyofanyjointreturnwithyournameonit.Whenyoufirstgetyourhandsoncopies,lookatthefirstpageofeachreturnandseeifitreferstoanyschedulesorattachments.Ifitdoes,makesureyouhavetheattachments.Forexample,ifitshowsafigurenextto“ScheduleE,”makesureyouactuallyhaveScheduleE.AskwhoevergaveyouthereturnforScheduleEandpointoutthatthereturnshowsthatoneexists.Thisisusuallysufficienttogetsomeonetocoughuptheschedule.Youwantallpagesofeachreturn.

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YoucangetcopiesfromtheInternalRevenueServiceofanyformsyousigned.UseIRSform4506andsenditwithacheckfortheamountindicatedontheform.TheIRSsometimesprovidescopieswithinamonth,butsometimestheysendyoualetterthatbasicallysays,“Wecan’tfindyourtaxreturn;askagainin60daysifyoureallywantacopy.”Therefore,youneedtomakeyourwrittenrequesttotheIRSlongbeforeyouactuallymusthavethecopyinyourpossessionasyoumayhavetomakemorethanonerequesttogetacopy.Evenifyournameonyourtaxreturnwasforged,youshouldbeabletogetacopy.Incaseofforgery,youcouldhavetocontactyourrepresentativeinCongressforhelpingettingacopy,butthiswouldbeanextremecase.

Ifyouwanta copyofyourCalifornia income tax return, contact theCaliforniaFranchiseTaxBoard.AswiththeIRS,youmustsendachecktopayforthecopiesandforcertification.

LocatepropertiesontheInternet.TheInternetisagreatwaytolocatepeople,personalproperty(suchascars,boats,airplanes),andrealestate.Suchsearchesarebecomingeasierandmoreuseful.Thisis,ofcourse,ofconcern,becausepeoplearelosingtheirprivacy,but italsomeansthat informationiseasiertocomebythaneverbefore.YoucanaskanattorneywhohasLexis-Nexissoftwareoraprivateinvestigatortodoasearchforyou,oryoucansimplycheckoutsoftwareandsearchonyourown.WithLexissoftware,anattorneycanlookupyourspouse’snameandlocatepropertiesthroughoutCaliforniaandinsomeotherstates.Thismethodoflocatingpropertycanbequiteinexpensive,andifyouhaveaspousewithhiddenwealth,itmaycometolightbythismethod.

CountyRecorderforpropertydeeds.YoucangetcopiesofdeedsfromtheCountyRecorderofthecountyinwhichthepropertyislocated.YougototheCountyRecorder’sofficeandlookupyournameandyourspouse’snameinthe“Grantor/GranteeIndex.”Agrantoristhepersonwhogavethedeed;agranteeisthepersonwhoreceivedthedeed.Ifyoubuyaproperty,youarethegrantee.Onthedeedoftrustthatsecuresamortgage,youwouldbethegrantor.TheGrantor/GranteeIndexgivesyoutheinformationthatyouneedtoobtainacopyofthedeedattheRecorder’sOffice.

Getbankstatements.Forjointaccounts,youcangetcopiesofstatementsfrombanksandotherfinancial institutionsbyaskingandpayinga fee.Bankskeepcopiesofalldeposit slips,deposits,andphotocopiesofthefrontandbackofallchecksforaboutsixyears.Thebankwillnotgiveyoucopiesofstatementsforaccountsthatareonlyinthenameofyourspouse.Unlessyourspousewillgivethemtoyouvoluntarily,youwillhavetosubpoenathem.

Reviewdocuments carefully to locate hidden assets.Onceyouhave copies of tax returns anddeeds,readthemcarefully,evenifyouhavea lawyer.Forexample,ScheduleBof thetaxreturnlistsinterest incomewhichmight help you discover hidden bank accounts.A deedwill showwhich titlecompanyrecordedthedeed,andyoucancontactthetitlecompanytoobtaincopiesoftheclosingstatementissuedwhenyouandyourspouseboughttheproperty.Ifyouhavesignificantpropertyorcomplicatedfinances,thesedocumentsmightnotbesufficient.Butwithoutatleastthismuch,youdonothaveenoughinformationtomakeintelligentdecisionsinyourdivorce.

Personallyreviewallrecordsevenifyouhavealawyer.Ifyourlawyergetscopiesofyourspouse’srecords,suchasbankrecords,youshouldpersonallyreviewthoserecords.Youmightnoticethingsthatthelawyercannot.Forexample,anaccountantworkingforthewife’sdivorcelawyerreviewedthehusband’sbusiness recordsandconcluded thateverythingwas inorder.But,when thewifeherself reviewed therecords,shesawthatthehusbandhadhisgirlfriend,whodidnotworkinthecompany,onthepayroll.Theaccountantwasgood,butonlythespousehadthevitalinformationthatmadethedifference.


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Rights and duties of a spouse

Under California law, married persons have a very high duty of trust to each other, calleda“fiduciary”duty.Abanker, forexample,owes suchadutyof trust tocustomers.More to thepoint,businesspartnersoweeachotheraveryhighduty.Likewise,spousesarerequiredbylawtobeopenandhonestwitheachother.Whenadivorceisfiled,bothspousesarerequiredtogiveeachotheracompleteaccountingofeverythingtheyknowaboutproperty,debts,income,obligations,andanythingthatmightaffectthemaritalestate,bothnowandinthenearfuture.ThisiscalledDisclosure,andtheformsusedarecalled“DeclarationsofDisclosure.”

Thesefiduciarydutiescontinuethroughoutthecase.Evenifyourspouseiswithholdinginformation,youshouldcomplywithyourowndutyoffulldisclosure—notbecauseyouwanttobenice,butbecauseyoudon’twanttoloseyourdiscoveryrequestbecauseyouactedasbadlyasyourspouse.

Theoneimportantlessonyoushouldcarryawayisthis:therearemanypenaltiesandsanctionsagainstaspousewhohidesinformationaboutthemaritalfinances.Anymisconductinthisareacancomebacktohauntyou,possiblyyearsinthefuture.So,ifyouwantyourdivorcetobefinalandoverforever,besureyouarecompletelyopenandhonestwithyourspouseonfinancialmatters.

How to respond to requests for information

Theprimaryruleistobeopenandhonest.It’sthelaw,it’stherightthingtodo,andfailuretodosowillcomebacktohauntyou.Ifyourspousemakesareasonablerequest,youshouldrespondfully.However,youdonothavetoproducewhatyoudonothaveandcannotgetwithreasonableeffort.Ifyouareaskedforbankstatements,youshouldcallyourbankandrequestthem.However,ifyouareaskedforrecordsandmakingaphonecall,writingaletter,orfillingoutaformcannotgetthem,itissufficientjusttoexplainthis.Finally,iftheothersidehasmadeanunreasonablerequest(suchasallbankstatementsandcheckbooksduringaten-yearmarriage),youcansendareasonableamount,saythelastthreeyearsofthemarriage,unlessthereissomespecialreasonwhymoredocumentationisnecessary.Iftheyinsist,youcanbalancewhetheritiseasiertogivewhattheywantorgotocourttoresist(chapter14).

Disclosure and discovery

Therearetwolegalproceduresforobtainingrequiredinformation:Disclosure,whichissupposedtobeautomatic,andDiscovery,whichrequiresyoutoinitiatetheprocedure.

Disclosure Togetadivorce,bothspousesarerequiredbylawtoexchangeDeclarationsofDisclosurelistingallinformationabouttheirproperty,debts,incomeandexpenses.Disclosureisanextensionofthefiduciarydutyowedbyspouses,discussedabove.

Noagreementwithoutdisclosure.IfyourspousehasnotservedyouwithPreliminaryandFinalDeclarationsofDisclosure,donotnegotiateasettlementagreementwithoutmakingthecompletionofthematermoftheagreementandgettingthembothsignedandservedbeforeyousigntheagreement.Preferably,youwillnotwanttonegotiateuntilPreliminaryDisclosurehasbeendone,otherwise,youarenegotiatingwithoutfullknowledgeofessentialinformationthatyouragreementwould,orshould,bebasedon.

Discovery Discoveryisaformallegalprocedureforgettinginformationfromyourspouse,possiblyundercompulsionoflaw.Howtododiscoveryisdiscussedinchapter17.

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CHAPTER 9BASICS –local rules, forms, & case management conferences

Thefollowingchaptersareaboutactioninthelegalsystem,whichinvolvesafairbitofpaperwork.Thischapterisaboutthebasicsofpaperwork,nomatterwhatkindoflegalactionyoumightgetinvolvedwith.Chapter17isaboutformalrequests(demands)forinformationthatyoucanusewithoutgoingtocourt.Ifyoucan’tgetinformationyouneedfromyourspouse,youshouldstartworkthere,too.

Petitioner or Respondent –who’s who?

ThepersonwhostartsthedivorcefilesaPetitionandiscalledPetitioner.Iftheotherspouseentersthecase,thatpersonfilesaResponseandiscalledRespondent.Ineveryrespecttheirpositionsareequal—

A.PetitionerorRespondent–who’swho?B.LearnlocalrulesandconditionsC.KeepacasecalendarfordeadlinesD.HowtokeepyourpapersingoodorderE.HowtoservedocumentsontheothersideF.CaseManagement

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thereisnoadvantageinbeingeitherPetitionerorRespondent.Eitherpartycanmakemotions,demandinformation,movetowardtrial,andnegotiate.Partieskeeptheirtitlesthroughoutthecase,nomatterwhostartsaparticularlegalactionwithinthecase.Forexample,ifRespondentfilesamotion,thatpersonisstillcalledRespondent,eventhoughinthisinstancehe/sheinitiatedthemotion.

Readdiscussionforbothsides.Foranylegalprocedure,youcouldbetheinitiatingortherespondingparty.Ishowyouwhattodoonbothsides,bothforthepersonwhoisaskingthecourttodosomethingandthepersonwhoisresponding.Whicheversideyouareon,readtheinformationfortheotherside,too,soyouwillunderstandwhatiscoming.

Responders:Iwriteeachchapterasifwearetalkingtotheinitiatingparty,buttherespondingpartydoesalmostallofthesamethings.If(when)youaretherespondingparty,youshouldreadeverythingthatisaddressedtotheinitiatingparty,becausemostofitappliestoyou,too. Learn local rules and conditions

Everycountyhaslocalrulesforhowthecourtsconductfamilylawbusiness.Ifyougotocourt,yourattorneymustbefamiliarwiththem.Insomecounties,therulesareout-of-dateandnotmuchreliedupon,butunlessyouknowthisforafact,youcan’ttakethechanceofignoringthem.Makesureyourlawyerisfamiliarwithanduptodatewiththelocalrulesofyourcourt.Donotassumetheyare.Youwouldbesurprisedhowmanydonotbotherknowing,orstayinguptodatewiththem,andtheirignorancecanharmyourcase.

Observe your judge Gotocourtwellbeforeyourhearingandwatchsomecasestoseehowthecourthandlesthings.Youwanttoseehowyourjudgehandlescasesandwhatitfeelsliketobeincourt.Thisshouldmakeyoufeellessanxiousaboutgoingtocourtandmoreconfidentwhenyouareactuallythere–abigadvantageforyou.

Keep a case calendar for deadlines

Missingdeadlinescouldcauseyoutoloseamotionorevenyourwholecase.Itisveryimportanttorecordandhonoreverydeadlineforeveryaspectofyourcase.Althoughyourattorneyisresponsibleforthis,donotjustrelyonhim/hertokeeptrack.Youshouldkeepacalendarforyourdivorcetokeeptrackofalldeadlines,tasks,appointments,andcourtappearances.Ifyouhaveaveryorganizedpersonalcalendar,youcanusethat,butitmightbebetterifyoukeepaseparatecasecalendar.

Wheneveracourtdateisset,youshouldimmediatelycalendarallthetasksthatyouneedtodotobefullypreparedatleasttwodaysaheadforthehearing,oraweekaheadfortrial.Workbackwardsfromthecourtdatetosettasksanddeadlinesbasedonstatelawandlocalrules.Forexample,ifyouhaveatrialdate,statelawprovidesthatdiscoverymustbecompletedatleast30daysbeforetrial.Markthetrialonthecalendar,countback30daysandnotethedeadlinefordiscovery.Thencountbackanadditionalamountofdays,suchas35,todoonelastroundofdiscovery.

Ifdeadlinesfallonholidaysorweekends.UnderCaliforniaRulesofCourt,ifadeadlinefallsonaweekendoronacourtholiday,itisautomaticallypostponeduntilthenextcourtday.Thisaffectswhenyoumustrespondtodiscoveryitems,butitdoesnotaffectthedateonwhichyouneedtoservemovingorrespondingpapers—thosedatesarenotpostponedbythisrule.Thebestpracticeistonotwaituntilthelastminutesoyoudon’thavetoworryaboutmissingthedeadline.

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How to keep your papers in good order

It isnotunusual for someonewith aproblemdivorce tofind themselves almostdrowned in ashowerofpaperwork.Youwouldbesurprisedhowmanylawyersandlawofficesfailatthetaskofstayingorganized.Ifyou(yourlawyer)arenotverywellorganized,youcouldlosetrackofthingsandgounder.You are not going to let this happen to you. Themore sophisticated lawyerswill havebetter use oftechnologyandwillhavetheirfilespaperless.Theselawyerswillbemoreefficient,which,inturn,willsaveyoumoneyandbringyoubetterresults.

How to serve documents on the other side

Wheneveryouinitiateanylegalaction,youhavetogivenoticetotheotherside.Thisiscalledserviceofprocessandisalwaysdonebyhavingsomeoneelsegivetheothersideasetofdocuments.Afterward,thepersonwhoservedthepapersmustsignaProofofServicewhichisthenfiledwiththecourt.Youmustservepaperscorrectlyandfile theProofofServiceon time,oryour legalactionwillalmostcertainlyfail.

Who can serve papers? Youcan’tservepapersinyourowncase,butanyfriendorrelativeover18candoit,oryoucanhire aprofessionalprocess server.Use someonemature anduninvolved; avoidanyonewho isopenlyantagonistictotheotherside,unlessyouhavenootherchoice.Yourattorneyshouldhavepreferencesonhowdifferentdocumentsareserved,andyoumaywanttodiscussalloptionswiththem,someofwhichmaysaveyoumoney.

Who gets served? TheSummonsandPetition,subpoenas,andRequestforOrdersarealwaysservedpersonallyonthepartyandontheattorneyofrecord,ifany.Allotherpapersareservedontheattorneyofrecord.The“attorneyofrecord”isthepersonwhosenameappearsonthecaptionofthemostrecentcourtdocumentsthatwereservedonyou.Youmustusethatnameandaddressonallproofsofservice,exactlyasitappearsinthecaption.Justconsultinganattorneydoesnotmakethatattorney“ofrecord”unlesstheattorney’snameandaddressappearoncourtdocumentsservedonyou.Ifyourspouse’snameappearsonthemostrecentcaption,yourspouseishis/herownattorneyofrecord.

Anattorneywhorepresentsyourspouse,and isof record,canbeservedbymailor inperson.Personal service on an attorney is easier thanon a non-attorney.The server can simply (1) go to theattorney’sofficeanytimeitisopenandhandanenvelopebearingtheattorney’snameandcontainingthepaperstoareceptionistoranyadultincharge,or(2)from9a.m.to5p.m.,ifnobodyisthere,leavetheenvelopeinaconspicuousplaceintheoffice.WheretheProofofPersonalServiceformasksforthenameofthepersonserved,enter“AdultinchargeatofficeofAttorney(name).”Ifnoonewaspresent,typein“Attorney(name),papersleftataddressinconspicuousplace.”

File first, then serve (most of the time)FormotionsandRFOs,youneedtofileyourpapersfirsttogetahearingdate,thenservethem.Forotherpapers,suchastheresponsetoamotionorreplytotheresponse,theorderisnotcritical.Remember,whenservingbymail,youmustincludeacopyoftheProofofServicewithpapersservedsotherecipientcanknowthedateofmailing.

Case Management

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cuts.Thismeansthatjudgesaremorethaneverunderextremepressuretomovecasesthroughasefficientlyas possible.Until 2012, thiswas addressed by theCaseManagementConference, designedmore forgeneralcivilsuits,sonotidealforfamilycases.CourtsmustnowimplementtheFamilyCenteredCaseResolution(FCCR)processmandatedbyRulesofCourt,soyou’llwanttofindoutifyourcountyisusingthenewprocedureor if theystillusecasemanagement. Ifyourcounty isusingFCCR,whenyoufileyourfirstpapers,theyaresupposedtogiveyouprintedinformationsummarizing,amongotherthings,theprocessingofyourcase.So,ifyoudon’tgetthat,yourcountyislikelystillusingCaseManagement.

Case Management Conferences (CMC)CasemanagementisdefinedgenerallybyCaliforniaRulesofCourt,butmuchis left toeachcounty’slocalrules,soformsandprocedureswillvary.Typically,casemanagementmeansthatnomorethan180daysafterthePetitionisfiled,youmightreceiveaquestionnairethatyoumustfillout,serveontheotherside,andfilewiththecourtbyasetdate.YoumightalsoreceiveadateforbothsidestoattendaCaseManagementConference(CMC).Itispossiblethatlocalrulesrequireyoutofileacasemanagementformwithoutbeingpromptedbythecourt,sobesuretocheckonthis.Inanycase,thecourtneedstoknowhow things standwithyourcase—what issuesare stillunresolved,whetheryouhavecompletedyourDeclarationsofDisclosure,whetheryouhavecompleteddiscovery,whatstepshavebeentakentosettle,howlongyouthinkatrialmighttake,andsoon.

Atleast30daysbeforethedateofthefirsthearing,partiesmustmeetinpersonorbytelephoneandconsiderresolutionofasmanyissuesaspossible,includingallitemssetoutinCRC3.724and3.727.Bythetimeofthehearing,you/yourattorneyarerequiredtobefamiliarwithallmattersinthecaseandbepreparedtocommittoapositiononallmatterslistedintheRulesjustcitedabove.

Ifthecourtthinksyourcaseisdraggingontooslowly,thejudgecansetdeadlinesforyoutomeetandpossiblyordertermsandconditionstomovethingsalong.Thejudgecanalsoassignyoutoamediatortotrytosettleyourunresolvedissues—especiallyissuesregardingchildcustodyandvisitation.Orthejudgemighttrytourgeyou(gentlyorfirmly)intoasettlementthatthejudgethinksisreasonablegivenyourfacts.Judgesatcasemanagementconferencescanbeagreathelptowardresolvingissuesandgettingyourcasecompleted,butyoushouldnotallowyourselftobebulliedintoasettlementthatyoudonotthinkisfair.Ifyouthinkyouarebeingpushedtoostronglyintoadecisionyoudon’tlike,staycalmandpolite,butsay,“IneedtothinkaboutthisbeforeIdecide.”Orjustsayno,butdoitveryrespectfullysoasnottoantagonizethejudge.

Family Centered Case Resolution (FCCR) AllcourtsmustnowuseFCCRtomanagefamilycases.UnlikeCaseManagementConferences,therulesforFCCRaresetoutgenerallyinFamilyCodeandmorespecificallyinCaliforniaRulesofCourt(CRC),sothepracticeswillbemuchmoreuniforminallcounties.

Here’sgoodnews:whenthefirstpapersarefiled,thecourthastogivethefilingpartyawrittensummary of how the casewill proceed through to disposition, a list of local resources thatmight behelpful,andotherusefulinformation.

Hearings. Courtsmustreviewallfamily-centeredcaseswithin180daysfromthedatethePetitionwasfiledandevery180thereaftertohelpmoveallcasesalong.Thecourtcansetahearing(conference)tofindoutthestatusofthecaseanddeterminehowbesttomovethingsalong.Priortothehearing,bothsideswillfillouttheCaseInformationform.Atthehearing,bothpartiesarerequiredtobefamiliarwiththecaseandbepreparedtodiscusspositionsonallmatters.If,foranygoodreason,theotherpartycan’tattendthehearing,explainthistothejudgeandpresentaletterorotherdocumentorevidenceyoumighthavetobackupyourstatement.Afterthehearing,thejudgecanissueorders.Iftherecordinthecourtfileissufficient,thejudgecanissueorderswithoutahearing.


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CHAPTER 10Motions:

Request for Order(RFO) or Temporary Restraining Orders (TRO)

Motions--morespecificallyaRequestforOrder(RFO)oraTemporaryRestrainingOrder(TRO)--thisiswheretheaction(andexpense)is,theheartandgutsofanycourtbattle,gentleorharsh.Apartfromproceduresleadingtotrial,almostanythingthatgetsdoneincourtisdonewithanRFOandsometimeswithuseofaTRO.Thisiswhythispartofthebookissolongandwhyitissoimportantforyoutostudyitcarefully.Veryfewcasesendupintrialbecausemostissuesgetresolvedbytheseprocesses.

RFOscanbeusedforgeneralmotions,oneswhichrequireahearingbeforeanyordersaremadebythejudge.TheTROistheprocessthatcanbeusedtorequesttemporaryorderspendingahearing.Whichoneshouldbeusedinyourcase?That’swhatthischapterisabout.

NOTE: Until recently, California used a process where general motions were called Notice of Motions, and the process where temporary orders were sought pending a hearing were called Order to Show Cause (OSC). California has now, for the most part and with very few exceptions that are not relevant here, disposed of the term Order to Show Cause. However, you may continue to hear the term OSC when communicating with about your divorce. Do not allow your self to get distracted from the essence of what we are going to discuss next.

YOU AREHERE

JUDGMENT

PRE-TRIAL MOTION



DISCOVERY

CUSTODY MEDIATION


TRIALTHE

LEG

AL

SYST

EM

PETITION

RESPONSE


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In many ways similar The same form (FL-300) is used to request either anRFOorTRO to seek orders on custodyandvisitation,childandspousalsupport,attorneyfeesandcosts,orderingaspousetovacatethefamilyhome,stay-awayorders,personalprotectionorders(exceptfordomesticviolenceprotectiveordersundertheDomesticViolence ProtectionAct), exclusive possession and use of specific community property(auto,tools,computer,etc.),propertyrestraintsandcontrols(don’ttransfer,mortgageorwastecommunityassets),paymentofbills(carpayments,mortgage,creditcards),andalmostanythingelseyoucanthinkofforwhichyoucanjustifytheissuanceofspecificcourtorders.Oryoucanasktomodifyexistingorders.Theprocedureineithercaseismuchthesame.

Mandatory Mediation. IneitheranRFOorTRO,ifchildcustodyorvisitationisanissue,youmustattendcourtmediationbeforeoratthetimeofyourhearing.

Must meet and confer.Courtrulesrequiresthatbeforethehearing,theparties,ortheirattorneysiftheyarerepresented,meetandconferbytelephone(orasorderedbythecourt)totryingoodfaithtosettlesomeorallissues.Beforeorwhileconferring,thealldocumentaryevidencethatwillberelieduponatthehearingmustbeexchanged.

Hearing.AtthehearingineitheranRFOoraTRO,yourcaseispresentedbywayofdocumentsthatcanbeauthenticatedbyawitness,andbytestimonyorwrittenstatementsfromwitnesses,inanefforttogetthejudgetoseethingsyourwayandissuetheordersyourequested.Ofcourse,theothersidemightshowupandpresentevidenceinopposition.Afterthehearing,ifyousucceed,yougetorderssignedbythejudgeand,ifyourspousewasnotpresentincourt,theordersmustbeservedonyourspouse.

All orders are temporary. Withonlyafewexceptions,ordersobtainedthroughRFOsorTROswillbeeffectiveonlyuntiltheJudgment.NoordercontinuespasttheJudgmentunlessitisrestatedintheJudgmentitself.However,theeffectofyourtemporaryorderscanbepermanent,becauseissuesresolvedthiswayusuallybecomeintegratedintoanegotiatedsettlementagreementoraJudgment.

So what’s the difference?1.Otherpartyorderedtoappear.YourRFObecomesaTROifaboxontheformischeckedorderingtheotherpartytoappearincourt,inwhichcaseajudgehastosigntheformbeforeitcanbeserved.IfRespondenthasnotyetappeared in thecasebyfilingaresponseoramotion,youmusthavehim/herorderedtoappearsothecourtcanacquirejurisdiction(authority)andanyordersmadecanhaveeffect.

2.Request thatorders takeeffectpending thehearing.YourRFObecomesaTROifyoucheckaboxrequestingthatanyofyourrequestedorderstakeeffectimmediatelyandlastuntilthehearing.Doingthischangesthetimelineandthewayyouproceed.

TogetaTRO,theemergencymustbeonerecognizedbylaw,whichusuallymeansapartyormemberoftheparty’shouseholdhasareasonablefearofharmorlossofpropertyunlessordersareissuedrightnow!Strangely,thelawdoesnotconsideritanemergencyifyouhavenomoneytoliveonandyourspousehasmoneybutwon’tgiveyouany.Youcanmakeamotionforsupport,butyoucannotgetaTROforsupport.

3.Youneedanorderthatallowsyoutogivenoticeofthehearingafterthedeadlineforgivingnoticehaspassed(referredtoasOrderShorteningTime).


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Which one to use? Neitherone.YourlawyershouldneverfileanRFOorTROunlessthereisasoundstrategicreasonfordoingso.Beingservedwithnoticeoflegalactionisgoingtohaveabigandunsettlingimpactonyourspouse,whichwillalmostcertainlydrivethecasedeeperintoconflict.Isthiswhatyouwantrightnow?Isitworthit?ManyattorneysservetheothersidewithanRFOorTROatthebeginningofanydivorceasamatterofroutine,whetherthecaserequiresitornot.Thisshouldbediscouraged.MakesurethereisaclearpurposethatrequiresanRFOorTRObeforeyouallowyourattorneytofileeitherone.

Advantages to filing a TRO TheTROallowsyoutorequestimmediateorders.IfyougetyourTROsigned,yourcourthearingmustoccurwithinaboutthreeweeks,butthiswillonlymatterincourtswithcloggedcalendars.

Disadvantages to filing an OSC/TRO InordertoobtainaTRObeforehearing,youmuststateveryspecificfactsforthejudgetoshowthatyouhaveavalidlegalemergencyandareentitledtotheTRO.Ifyourcaseactuallymightproceedbyagreement,youcanpushitoverthebrinktohostilitybythingsyoumightneedtosayinordertogetyourrestrainingorder.Forexample,tokickyourspouseoutofthehouse,youcannotjustsay,“I’mafraidofthisperson,andthey’reemotionallyunstablerightnowandmakemenervous.”Youhavetosaythattheyhaveengaged in some formof “abuse,”givingdates and sayingexactlywhathappened.Acopyofeverythingyouwritedownhastobedeliveredtoyourspouse.Ifyourspousewasn’tenragedbeforereadingyourpapers,he/shemightwellbeafterwards.Ontheotherhand,ifyoureallyneedthecourt’sprotection,youshouldgoaheadwithit.

Advantages to filing an RFO YoucanfiletheRFOinaroutinemanner,andyoudon’thavetoobtainthejudge’ssignature. Disadvantages to filing an RFO Themaindisadvantageisthat,notbeinganemergency,themotionisgoingtobecalendaredforthecourt’snextavailabledate.Whetherornotthisismonthsormorewilldependonwhetheryouareinacountywherethecourthasacrowdedcalendar.


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CHAPTER 11PREPARING FOR AN RFO OR TRO

HavingdiscussedthedifferencebetweenaRequestforOrder(RFO)andtheTemporaryRestrainingOrder(TRO)inthepreviouschapter,forthepurposeofsimplicity,goingforward,IwillrefertotheRFOandtheTROcollectivelyasa“motion.”

A.ChecklocalrulesandpracticesB.TimingiseverythingC.PlanhowyouwillservepapersD.Declarationsorlivetestimony?E.BuildyourcaseF.HowtowriteadeclarationandauthenticatedocumentsG.RelieffromerrorH.StipulateifyoucanagreeI.ChildandspousalsupportpreparationJ.Protectyourprivacy!

YOU AREHERE

JUDGMENT

PRE-TRIAL MOTION



DISCOVERY

CUSTODY MEDIATION


TRIALTHE

LEG

AL S

YSTE

M

PETITION

RESPONSE


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Aswitheverythingelseinthedivorceprocess,planningiseverything.Don’tjustrushoutorallowyourlawyertojustjumpintomotionprematurely.First,readchapter16togetclearabouttheordersyoucanrequest.Next,readthischapteraboutdeadlinesyoumustmeetandhowtobuildyourcase.Yes,youcandefinitelyfileamotion—butasyouwillsee,amotionisatooltobeusedsurgicallyandstrategically.Ittakesclearthinking,planning,andanabilitytoconcentrate,studyandthinktodoitproperly.Thisisacomplex,technicalareawhererulesvarysomewhatfromcountytocountyorjudgetojudge.Iwillshowyouhowtogetoverthesehurdles.Youwillsavealotofaggravationandmoneyifyoustudythisbookbeforeyoudiscussamotionwithyourlawyer,soyoucanorganizeyourissuesandquestions,preparethebasicfactsofyourcase,andstateyourplanandgoalsclearly.

Check local rules and practices

Beforeyoustartdoingamotion,lookforlocalrulesinyourcountythatapplytofamilylawcases,oraskyourlawyeraboutthem.Inparticular,youneedtofindout:

•Howmotionsarescheduledforhearing(calendaring)•Anyformsorinformationthecourtwantsthatarenotrequiredbystatelaw

Calendaring –how motions are scheduled Calendaringreferstohowtheclerkscheduleshearingsonthecourt’scalendar.Insomecounties,judgesmight takecertain typesofcasesonlyoncertaindays,orshortermatters (called“shortcause”cases)mightbeheardondifferentdaysthan“longcause”cases.Findouthowyourcountyorganizesitscalendar.

Memorandum of Points and Authorities AMemorandumofPointsandAuthorities(P&As)isabriefstatementtothecourt,settingforththeverifiedpointsofyourcase(thefacts),andtheauthorityforyourrequest,i.e.,thestatutesandcasesshowingthatyouhavearighttotheordersyourequested.Incivilpractice,RulesofCourtrequiresP&Aswitheverymotion,butinfamilylawcasesRule5.92(c)statesthatnoP&Asneedbefiledunlessrequiredbythecourt,sodiscusswithyourlawyerwhetheraP&Awillbepreparedforyourmotion,andifnot,whynot.P&Asbecomemoreimportantwhentheordersrequestedareoutoftheordinaryorifyougetajudgewhoisnotfamiliarwithfamilylaw.

Timing is everything Deadlines Knowingthedeadlinesforservingdocumentsisessentialtosuccess—missadeadlineandyoulose,oratleastyouhavetostartover.Thegeneralruleisthatmotionpapersmustbeservedatleast16courtbusinessdaysbeforethehearingunlessyougetanordershorteningtime(seebelow).Thisappliestopersonalservice.Ifyouservepapersbymail—whichyoucandowhenyourspousehasjoinedthecasebyfilingaPetitionorResponseoramotion—tothe16court-daydeadlineyoumustadd:

•5calendardaysifmailedwithinCalifornia•10calendardaysifmailedtoanotherstateintheU.S.•20calendardaysifmailedoutsidetheU.S.

So,ifyouarepressedfortime,oriftheotherpartyhasnotfiledaPetitionorResponse,papersshouldbeservedpersonally.

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Order Shortening Time (OST) This is a court order givingyoupermission to reduce the number of days’ notice yougive toyourspouseandthenumberofdaysbeforethehearingthatyourspousehastorespond.Becauseordersshorteningtimearerequestedsooften,itisincludedasastandarditemontheRequestforOrderform.Under ordinary circumstances, youwould ask for permission to serve your spouse 5 days before thehearingandhaveanyresponsefromyourspousedue2daysbefore.However,inarealemergency,orwhereyouhavereasontofearwhatmighthappenwhenyourspouseisserved,youcanreducetimeto2daysforserviceand1dayfortheresponse.

State facts. Whenyou request anorder shortening time,youmust state facts that justifyyourrequest.Inanydomesticviolencemotionbasedonfactsthatlookvalidtothejudge,youarelikelytoreceiveanordershorteningtime.Astoothermotions,thejudgemayormaynotacceptthatyourspouseisgoingtobedifficulttoserve.Ifthejudgedoesnotgranttheordershorteningtime,whenyougetthepapersback,lookatthehearingdateandseewhetheryoucanstillgetyourspouseserved16courtbusinessdaysbeforethehearing.Ifitisalreadytoolatewhenyoureceivethepapers,thedocumentswillhavetoberesubmittedtothecourtwithaDeclarationpageexplainingtheproblemtothejudgeandagainexplainingwhyyouneedanordershorteningtime.

Indomesticviolence(DV)cases,fearofreactiontoservicewillalmostalwaysjustifyanOST. Herearesomeexamplesofnon-DVmattersthatcouldalsogetyouone:

•Amotionneedstobeheardbeforeahearingortrialthatisalreadysetinthenearfuture,soitcanonlybeheardfirstifanOSTisgranted.Forexample,amotiontocompeldiscoverytogetsomethingforthehearingortrial,andthemotionwon’tbeheardintimewithoutanOST.•Youneedtohaveamotionheardonthesamecalendarwithanotherthatyouservedearlier.•Needtogetappraiserintohousebeforeascheduledhearingonthehouse.•Escrowisclosingandyouneedtogetfundsdisbursedbycourtorderveryquicklyoryouwilllosethesaleofthehouse.

Plan how you will serve papers

Plan service before you file Before you file amotion, your lawyer should have a plan for serving papers immediately, ifnecessary.Youneedtoknowaheadoftimewhogetsserved,whowilldotheserving,howtheymustdoit,andwheretofindthepersonbeingservedrightawayifpapersareservedpersonally.Youdonotwanttofileyourpapersandsuddenlyrealizethatthereistoolittletimetogetthemserved.

Witnesses Willyouneedtosubpoenawitnessesorrecordstoyourhearing?Ifso,thenbeforeyourmotionisfiled,yourlawyermusthavesubpoenasreadytogotheinstantyoulearnyourcourtdate,justincaseitcomessoonerthananticipated.Seechapter15,sectionB.

Declarations or live testimony?

Before2011,duetooverwhelmingcaseloads,almostallcourtsconductedpre-trialhearingssolelyonthebasisofsworndeclarations.ButtheFamilyCodenowrequiresjudgestoallowanyoraltestimonythatiscompetentandrelevanttosubstantiveissuesinthehearing.However,thelawalsoprovidesthatjudgescanrefusetoreceivelivetestimonyonafindingofgoodcausethatmustthenbestatedontherecord.Thecourtrulesdefinethefactorsajudgemustconsiderinreachingadecisiontoexcludelivetestimony.

C

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So,ifyouhaveagoodreasonforwantingtoexamineorcross-examineawitness,makesureyourlawyerpreparesyourwitnesslistandchancesarethewitnesswillbeheard.

Youcanstillpresentsomeorallofyourcaseviadeclarationsofyourselforothers,asdescribedinsectionFbelow.Itseemscertainthataparty(PetitionerorRespondent)willbeallowedtotestify,butforotherwitnesses,inordertobeperfectlysafeyourlawyershouldpreparedeclarationsforeverywitnessasinstructedinsectionFbelow,incaseyoudon’tgettopresentoraltestimony.Goodattorneysalwaysdothisineverycase.

Pros and cons Askingforlivetestimonycouldresultinalongerwaitforahearingdate.Theadvantageoflivetestimonyisthatyougettotellyourstorytothejudgeandyoucan,ifyouwish,bringotherwitnessestotestify.Somepeoplemakeagoodimpressioninperson,butothersdonot.Withwitnesses,yourlawyerneedstoknowhowtoprepareandexamineawitness.Youwouldbesurprisedhowmanylawyersactuallydon’tdothiswell.Theothersidegetstocross-examine,tryingtotripupthewitness.Iftheothersidehaslivetestimony,yourlawyerneedstoknowhowtocross-examinewell.Theadvantageofacasebasedondeclarationsisthatthejudgeprobablyprefersitandyoudon’tgetcaughtupquiteasmuchincourtroomtactics.Thedisadvantageisthatpreparinggooddeclarationsisalotofworkandsometimesevidencethatisotherwisenotallowedsneaksin.Also,youdon’tgettoquestionthepersonwhomadeadeclarationtofindouthowtheyhappentoknowwhattheysaidtheyknow.

Witness list required If youwant to testify yourself or present awitness at your hearing, then prior to the hearingyour lawyermustfile and serveawitness listwithabriefdescriptionof theanticipated testimonyofeachwitness,yourself included. Ifyoudon’tdo thisand theother sideobjects, the judgecangrantacontinuanceandmake“appropriate temporaryorders”pending thecontinuedhearing.Wedon’tknowwhatthoseordersmightbe,butyoumightnotlikethem,sogetyourlistfiledandserved.Wedon’tknowforsureyourdeadlinefordoingthis,butaproposedrulewouldhaveyoudoitatthesametimeyoufileandserveyourothermotionpapers,sothat’swhenyoushoulddoit.Ifyoulaterthinkofanadditionalwitness,tryfilingandservinganAmendedWitnessList.

Build your case

Beforeyoustartworkingonformsforamotion,youhavetomakesureyouhaveacasethatyoucanproveconvincinglyatahearing.Gooverchapters12and13togetanideaofthekindsofordersyoucanaskforandthekindsofstatementsyoumustmaketojustifytheorders.Nowthinkabouthowyouaregoingtoconvinceajudge,especiallyonthebasisofwrittenstatementsanddocuments,thatyourfactsarecorrectandthatyouarelegallyentitledtotheorders.Thisistheimportantpart.Thinkingishard,butthisiswherecasesarewonandlost.Thisiscase-building.

Justtheverifiablefacts.Makeapageforeachissueandlistallfactsyoucanthinkofthatyoucan put on the table. Each factmust be legally relevant and important toward proving your point orunderminingyourspouse’spoints.Alsowritedownfactsyourspousecanpresentandwhatpointshe/shecanmakewiththem.Foreachfact,youmusthaveeitheradocumentorthedeclarationortestimonyofatleastonewitness(perhapsyou)toverifyyourclaim,otherwisethejudgemightthinkyouareunreliable.Ifitlookslikeyourfactsdon’tbeattheirfacts,thenyoushouldnegotiatethebestdealyoucangetandgetout.

Documents.Ifanyfactcanbeverifiedbyarecordoritem,useit.However,everyrecordoritemmustbeaccompaniedbythedeclarationortestimonyofapersonwhocanstateoftheirownknowledgeastowhatitis,

E


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whereitcamefrom,andthatitisgenuineandaccurate.Often,thiswillbeyou,buttheremightbearecordoritemthatrequiresthedeclarationortestimonyofsomeoneelse.Let’ssaysomeonesentyouaphotoofyourspouseasleepamidbeercanswhilesupposedlytakingcareofyourbaby.Thepersonwhotookthephotowouldhavetostatethetime,placeandcircumstances.

Witnesses.Youareawitness.Anyonecanbeawitnesswhoknows,basedonpersonalknowledge,somethingrelevantandimportantaboutyourcase.Thismustbesomethingtheysaworheard,oryourspousetoldthemsomethingthatundermineshis/hercase,ortheyhaveadocumentoritemthatprovesarelevantpointinyourcase.Youneedtohavewhattheyknowinathoughtfulwrittendeclarationunderoath;otherwise,youhavetoweighyourchancesforgettingtheiroraltestimonybeforethecourt.Avoidusing your children aswitnesses unless unavoidable; it’s bad for them and can reflect badly on you.Testimonyor declarations by differentwitnesses, even on the samepoint,will show the judge that avariety of people in the community support you. It canmake an impression.Add up all thewitness’statements,addwhateverdocumentsyouhave,andseeifyouhavesomethingoneachandeveryessentialfactinyourcase.

Accusations.Itiseasytojustcheckaboxtoaccuseyourspouseofsomething,butifyoucan’tproveyourallegationswithgoodevidence,youwillprobablyturnthejudgeagainstyouandpossiblygetfinedaswell.Youcouldloseyourcredibilityanddamageyourentirecase.Ifyoudon’thaveitalready,youneedtogetproofofanythingyouwanttochargebeforeyoumakethecharge.Thisisespeciallytruewhenchargingchildabuseorneglect.Warning!Donotmakeaccusatorystatementsinyourformsthatyouarenotpreparedtoprovewhenyougettoyourhearing.

Degrees of proof.Your owndeclaration or testimony is evidence, but for importantmatters itwouldbebettertohavedocumentsorstatementsofotherwitnessestobackupyourversionofthefacts.Youmustassumetheothersideisgoingtoclaimdifferentfacts,andyouhavetotrytoanticipatewhattheyknoworcouldcomeupwithtostrengthentheirviewofthings.

The degree of proof you need varies, depending uponhow intrusive the orderwill be againstyourspouseorhowstronglyitwillimpactchildren.Ifyouaskthecourttoorderyourspousenottohitor threaten you, youwon’t needmuch proof—perhaps just your owndeclaration.Likewise, an orderprohibitingthetransferofcommunitypropertywouldnotburdenyourspousemuchunlesshe/sheshowssomereasonwhyitwould.But,ifyouwantyourspousekickedoutofthehouse,ornottohavevisitationunlesssupervised,orchangethecurrentandestablishedcarepatternofthechildren,yourproofmustbeprettygood.Ifyougotoahearingandsay,“Shedrinkswhenshe’stakingcareofthechildren,”andshesays,“Ineverdid,notonce,”andthereisnoobjectiveevidence,howwillthejudgeknowwhat’strue?Remember,whendeclarationsareused,thejudgewillnotseethewitnessesinperson.Youneedwitnessstatements,arrestreports,orwhateverelseyoucanthinkoftosupportstrongallegations.

Case-building tips

Keepadiaryanddescribeeveryincident,whowaspresent,wherethekidswere,alwaysnotingthedateandtimeofsignificantevents.

Witnesses. Log their names, addresses, phone numbers, email, text.Ask them to give you astatementunderpenaltyofperjuryonaDeclarationform.

Medicalrecordsrelatedtoanyinjurycausedbyyourspouse.Youshouldgettreatmentevenifitmightnotbeabsolutelynecessaryinordertobuildarecord.Evenifyouonlyhaveabruise,seeadoctorandexplainthatyouwantthebruisedocumented.Beawarethatmedicalpeoplearerequiredbylawto


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reporttothepoliceanyinjuriesthatseemtohavebeencausedbyabuseoradeadlyweapon.

Policereports.Callthepolice,makeareport,andgetacopy.Getcopiesofanypastreports.

Photographsofpropertydamagecausedbyyourspouseorvisible injury toyourselforothers.Bruises,especiallyondark-coloredskin,maybehardtophotograph.Tryphotographingfromonesidesothelightoftheflashdoesn’tbouncebackandruinyourpicture.

Keepnotes,letters,recordedphonemessages,textsandemailswhereyourspousethreatensyouorapologizes.Don’ttapeoverorerasethemessage.Keeptornorbloodyclothing,smallbrokenthings.

Receipts.Keepreceiptsforallmedicalexpenses,attorneyfees,costs,movingandrentalexpensesifyoumustmoveduetoyourspouse’sbadbehavior.

Financialrecords.Ifsupportisanissue,youwillhavetoprovetheincomeanddebtsofyouandyourspouse,whatitcostsyoutolive,andanyspecialneedsthatyouoryourchildrenhave.You’llneedevidencesuchaspay-stubs,W-2forms,taxreturns,etc.Ifnecessary,considerusingasubpoenatogetpayrollrecords.

How to write a declaration and authenticate documents

Oftenpeople,evenlawyers,writeasifthereaderalreadyknowsorcaresaboutthecase.Don’tdothat.Yourdeclarationshouldbecompletelycleartoanuninterestedstranger,whichisexactlywhothejudgeis.Youneedtoworkabasicunderstandingofyourcaseintothedeclaration.Typically,youneedtoexplainwhoyouandyourspouseare,whatyoudoforaliving,thelengthofthemarriage,andtheagesofyourchildren.Ifyouareseekingtomodifyanearlierorder,youneedtoexplainthatandexplainhowthingshavechangedsincethen.Eventhoughyouhavealottoexplain,itisimportanttokeepthedeclarationtotheminimumlengthpossiblewhilestillincludingallrelevantfacts.Whilethisisyouronlydivorce,andyoumightwant toexplaineverythingat length, the judgehas toomanycasesandwantsonlythebarebones—thebasic,essentialfactswithoutanyelaborationordecoration.Youneedtostrikeabalance,whereyouincludeallthenecessaryfactsandyetdonotgoonforpageafterpage.

Itisparticularlybadtogoonatlengthifyoudonotuseparagraphsanddonotunderlineorboldanything.Thatmakesthejudgewanttogotosleepinsteadofreadingwithinterestandunderstanding.Starteachnewfactorthoughtasanewparagraph.Inlongdeclarations,separatefactsintologicalcategoriesand use bold or underlined subject headers to help the reader follow theflow.When a declaration isfinished,stepbackandtrytolookatitthroughtheeyesofastrangertoseeifitiscompletelyclear.

Averygoodformattofollowistohaveaheadingforeachofyourspecificrequests.Undereachheading,brieflydescribewhatyouwantthecourttoorder(inonesentenceifpossible),andthen,relatewiththespecificinstructionsprovidedabovewhyyouarelegallyentitledtoyourrequest.

Only state facts Inmostcounties,yourmotionwillsucceedorfailonthestrengthofthesupportingdeclarations.So,letthefactsspeakforthemselves—plain,undecoratedfacts.Afactissomethingthatyouorsomeoneelse personally observed. It does not includewhat anyone said (other than your spouse) or anyone’sopinion.Youdon’twanttoguessaboutwhatyourspousefeltorwasthinking—unlessyouareamindreader,youcan’tknowthat.Youcandescribeobservablefacts,suchashisfacewasred,hewasyelling,hadhisfistsballedupandwasswingingthem,andheactedupsetandangry.

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Includeonlyfactsyoucanproveincourtandthatjustifyordersyouarerequesting,andmakesuretostateallrelevantfacts.Forexample,ifyourequestedtemporarypossessionofyourownvehicle,don’tjustsay,“Thisismycar.”Explainthatyouroutinelydrivethisautomobile,thatyourspousehasanothervehicle,thatyouhavecustodyofthechildrenandneedtohaveacar,orwhateverarethefactsinyourcase.

Whenyouaredonewithyourdeclaration,gobackandcheckeveryitemlistedinyourApplicationform.Haveyoustatedfactsthatwouldmakethejudgefeeljustifiedingrantingeachorderyourequested?Ifnot,addtheappropriateinformation.

The openingEverydeclarationyouwritewillstartwith:I,theundersigned,declareasfollows:1.Mynameis .2.Iam(petitionerherein/respondentherein/orstaterelationshiptopartiesorcase).3. Ihavepersonalknowledgeofevery facthereinandcouldcompetently testify thereto ifcalledasawitnessattrial.

Numberingeachseparatefactualitem,goontostateallrelevantfactsknowntothedeclarant.Ifthisisyourowndeclaration,what followsnext should let the judgeknow immediatelyuponglancingat thebeginningofyourdeclarationwhatthemotionandyourdeclarationisabout.Youneedwhatamountstoaheadlineinboldorunderlinedtypenearthebeginning,thenacoupleofsentencesthatstatewhatyourmotionrequestsandalsocallsthejudge’sattentiontothemostimportantfact(s).Forexample:

4.MotiontoCompelVocationalExamination.Thisdeclarationisinsupporttofmymotionrequestingthatmyspousebecompelledtosubmittoavocationalevaluation.Myspousehasacollegedegreeandworksonlypart-timeasasalesclerk.

Thisreducestheessenceofthemotiontotwosentences.Nowyoucangoonwiththedetails.

Dates and locations Itisimportanttoincludeadateandlocationforeachfactoreventdescribed.Thejudgecan’tknowhowsignificantaneventiswithoutknowingwhenandwhereitoccurred.

Order of facts Aftertheopening,itisusuallybestiftherestofyourdeclarationiswritteninchronologicalorderorreversechronologicalorder(withthemostrecenteventimmediatelyafteryourheadline).Ifyouareattempting todoanemergencykick-out request (gettingyourspouseoutof thehouse)bymeansofamotionclaimingdomesticviolence,youneedfirsttotellthejudgeaboutthemostrecentviolence,thentheworstviolence,thenthepatternandhistoryofpastviolence.Inthiscase,yougofrommostrecenttoolder.Ifyouaretryingtofileamotiontoobtainanorderfordiscovery,youwillproceedinchronologicalorder,covering,forexample:whenyoumadeyourinitialdiscoveryrequestandthehistoryofanyresponseandfurtherdemand(s)youmighthavemade.Ifithasbeenalongtimesincetheeventsyouwriteabout,youshouldexplainwhyitisthatyouarenowcomingtocourtandwhythedelaydoesnotshowthatthematterisnotimportant.

Declarations by others AgoodwaytogetpeopletomakedeclarationstosupportyourmotionistousetheDeclarationform.Ifyouareinacountythatwillaccepthandwrittenpapers,itmaybeagoodideatohaveeachwitnesswritethedeclarationbyhandifitcanbemadeeasytoread.Ifyougivethejudgeanumberofdeclarations


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by different people in different handwriting, the judge sees that you did notmake thewords up, thewitnessesdid.Also,thejudgeseesthattherearemembersofthecommunitythatsupportyou,andthisdoeshaveaneffect.Ifyoudothis,youshouldfirstfilloutthecaptionoftheDeclarationformbeforeyougiveittothewitness.Ifhandwrittenpapersarenotacceptableinyourcounty,youwillhavetotypethedeclarationforthewitness,thengetasignature.Asmuchaspossible,doitinthewitness’ownwords.

Havethewitnessstatehis/hername,thenexplainwhotheyareandhowtheyknowyouand/oryourspouseand/orchildren.Theyneedtosaysomethinglike,“Iam,acloseneighboroftheSmithfamily,andIhaveknownthepartiestothislawsuitaswellastheirchildrenfor10years.”Thistellsthejudgehowmuchweighttogivetotheperson’sstatements.Thenthewitnessshouldtellthejudgewhateverrelevantfactshe/sheknowsaboutyourcase.

Naturally,youwouldlikewitnessestostatefactsthatmakeyoulookgood,butiftheyknowsomethingnegativeaboutyourspouse(liketheycametoyourhouseontheweekendwhenyouwereawayandfoundyourspousepassedoutdrunkandthe2year-oldstandingtherecrying),theyneedtostatethefactsdirectlyandplainly,withoutanyopinionoremotionaldecoration.Letthesimplefactsspeakforthemselves.Youdon’twantanyonetosaywhattheythinkanyonefelt,thought,orintended.Onlywhatwasobserved.

Authenticationofdocuments—attachmentstodeclarations Youmighthavedocumentsorotheritemsthatsupportyourcase;forexample,medicalrecords,pay-stubs, bank statements or photos.These can be essential to your case but need to be introducedcorrectly.

Authentication.Everydocumentoriteminyourcasemustbe“authenticated”byattachingittothedeclarationofsomeone(oftenyou)whostatesoftheirownpersonalknowledgewhatitis,whereitcamefrom,andthatisaccurate.Iftheattachmentisnottheoriginal,statethatitis“atrueandaccuratecopy,”andbringtheoriginaltocourtunlessithasbeendestroyedorisnotavailabletoyou.Ifyourrequestfororaltestimonyisgranted,youcouldauthenticatedocumentsorally,butyoushouldusedeclarationsanywaybecauseawitnessmightfailtoshowuporajudgemightrushthecaseandnotheareverywitness.Itisalwaysbesttogeteverythinginthewrittenrecord.

Privateinformation.Therearecertaindocumentsthatsomecourtsdonotwantattachedtoyourdeclarations,feelingtheyarebestkeptoffthepublicrecord,suchasrecordsrelatedtochildren.Checkyourlocalrules.Forexample,SanFranciscorulesstatethatmedical,psychological,educational,orotherreportsaboutachildshouldnotbeattachedtothemotionbutprovidedatthetimeofthehearing.Ifyouwanttousedocumentsmadeprivatebylocalrule,youmakeanadvancewrittenrequesttopresentoraltestimonyaboutthedocuments(sectionD)or,alternatively,topresentthemseparatelytothejudgeatthetimeofthehearing.Again,checkyourlocalrules.

Identityinformation.Youdon’twantSocialSecurityorfinancialaccountnumberstobeonpublicviewso, following themethoddescribed inChapter9C,makesure thananythingfiledwith thecourtsubstitutescodesforSocialSecurityorfinancialaccountnumbers.Thisdoesnotapplytoanythingservedontheotherparty.

Relief from error

Running a contested divorce is so complicated that it won’t be a shock if somewhere in theprocessyoumissadeadlineormakeanerrororomissioninyourpapers.Fortunately,thelawprovidesthepossibilityofbeingexcusedfromalmostanyerror.CodeofCivilProceduresection473saysthatthejudgecanrelieveyoufroma“default”ifyourerrorwastheresultof“excusableneglect.”Ofcourse,you

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neverwanttofindyourselfinthispositionbecausethereisnoguaranteethatthejudgewillfindyourerror“excusable.” Excusableneglectissomethingthattoajudgewouldseemreasonable—notlaziness,carelessness,or an attempt to avoid the consequences of legal action. Lawyersmakemistakeswith calendars anddeadlinesallthetime.Thejudgewillalsoconsiderhowmuchtheothersidewillbedisadvantagedifyouareexcused.Ofcourse,thiswouldonlyworkifyouactquicklytocorrecttheerror.

Assoonasyoudiscoverthatyoumissedadeadlineorthattherehasbeenamistake,theothersideshouldbecontactedimmediatelyandarequestmadeforpermissiontoamend,fileorservepapersafewdayslate.Ifyouaremakingyourrequestinwriting,giveaspecificdeadlinefortheirreply.Iftheyagree,youshouldimmediatelyemailalettertothemconfirmingthatagreementandindicatingthattheyshouldcontactyouimmediatelyinwritingifyourunderstandingoftheconversationisnotcorrect.

Theyagree.Iftheotherattorneydoesn’tobject,youjustproceedasifthingsareOK.Forexample,ifyou’refilingyourResponsiveDeclarationonly8calendardaysbeforethehearing,thenit’slateunderthe law;butgenerally, if theopponentdoesn’tobject,neitherwill thecourt.Ofcourse,a judgecouldrefusetoconsideralatepleadingeveniftheopponentdoesn’tobject,butinmostsituationsiftheopponentdoesn’tmakeanissueofamisseddeadline,neitherwill thecourt. If thecourtdoes try toenforce thedeadline,youcouldthenmaketheSection473motion.

Theydon’tagree.If,bythedeadlineyouset,youdon’tgettheconsentoftheothersidetoallowyoutocorrectyourmistake,fileamotionassoonaspossible,preferablytheverynextday.Thestatuteprovidessixmonthswithinwhichtomakethemotion,butthatistheabsolute,outsidelimit.Thecourtcansaythatyoushouldhavedonethemotionearlierevenifyoudoitwithinthesix-monthlimit.Don’twait.Oncetheproblemcomestoyourattention,movetocorrectit.

Stipulate if you can agree

Ifamotionisfiled,thepersonwhofileditcandismissitifnoresponsehasbeenfiled.However,ifaresponsivedeclarationwasfiledaskingforaffirmativerelief,themotioncanonlybedismissedbythewrittenagreementofbothparties.Atanytimeuptoandincludingthetimeforthehearing,thepartiescanreachanagreementonissuesthatwereraised.Asetoforders—calledastipulation—isdrawnup,approved,signedbybothparties,thenpresentedforthejudge’ssignature.Astipulationcanalsoberecitedorallyincourtinsteadofinwriting,butafterwardsoneofyoumustprepareawrittenordertoreflecttheoralstipulationandgetthejudge’ssignatureonit.Howtoprepareastipulationisdiscussedinchapter5.

Child and spousal support preparation Ifyouare requestingchildor spousal support,you should startpreparingas far inadvanceaspossible because this requires diggingup records, thinking,figuring, andfilling out detailedfinancialforms.

Studytheorderformsfirstandcreatetheorderyouwantthejudgetomake.WhateverfactsarerequiredintheordermustfirstbepresentedtothecourtinyourmovingpapersandprovedwithanIncome&ExpenseDeclaration(formFL-150)andattachedrecordssuchaspaystubs,taxreturns,etc.Dependingonyourcase,moremightberequired.

Computercalculation.Whensupporthasbeenrequested,everyjudgewantstoseeaprintoutfromsupportsoftware,likeDissoMaster(aprogramavailabletolawyersandcourts).Manycountiesrequireone.

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J Protect your privacy! Courtfilesarepublic,soyoudonotwantSocialSecurityorfinancialaccountnumbersonviewfor identity thieves.Therefore,onanydocumentfiledwith thecourt that requiresaSocialSecurityorfinancialaccountnumber,useonlythelastfourdigits,precededbyacodenumberassociatedwiththatitem.Forexample:“R1=***–**–4321”couldbeyourSocialSecuritynumber,nowidentifiedas“R1”inalldocuments,and“R6=******-7654”couldbeabankaccount.Keepaprivatelistofeachcodeandtherelatedfullaccountnumber.Butnote:codingisusedonlyondocumentsfiledincourt.Donotusecodesondocumentsthatareservedontheotherparty—theyhavearighttothecompletenumber.Ifsomedayyouareaskedbythecourttoidentifyyourinformation,youmustfileformMC-120.Donotfileitunlessasked.


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CHAPTER 12HOW TO DO A REQUEST FOR ORDER (RFO)

Readchapter11beforeyoustartamotion

ARequestforOrder(RFO)isarequestforanordertorelieveaspecificproblemthatcan’twaituntiltrial.Whetheryouneedtosetasideyourdefault,postponeahearing,obtaindocuments,forceyourspousetoundergoadrugtest,orabroadrangeofotherthings,amotionisprobablythetoolyouneed.YoucanfileanRFOonanysubject,althoughyoudonotwanttotroublethecourtwithbizarreorunimportantrequests.

TheRFOformshavecheck-boxesthatmakeitrelativelysimpletorequestordersfor:•childcustodyandvisitation•money:childandspousalsupport,paydebts,attorneyfeesandcosts•exclusiveuseandpossessionofresidence,auto,computer,etc.•propertyrestraintsandprotections(freezeassets)

YoucanalsousetheRFOformstobringanyotherissuetothecourt’sattention.Forexample,youmightneedanappraisalofthefamilyhome,butyourspouselivesthereandwon’tlettheappraiserin.Solution:fileamotionrequestinganorderthat,withinaspecifiednumberofdaysafterthehearing,yourspousemustpermittheappraiseraccesstoallpartsofthehomewithoutinterference.

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Combining issues in one motion ManyattorneysbelieveyoushouldincludeallissuesthatneedtoberesolvedwhenyoufileyourRFO,certainlyallthatappearincheck-boxesontheforms.Thejudgegetsabetterpictureofthewholecase,butthedownsideisthatmanycourtsallowonly15-30minutestohandleanRFO.Ifyourunoutoftime,thejudgewillhearthemostimportantissuesfirstandresetthematterforanotherhearing,butthefearisthatsomeissueswillbehurriedorlostintherush.Thisisespeciallyaproblemifyourcaserequiresoraltestimony(ifitisallowed),becausetestimonytakestime.Forthesereasons,itisoftenbettertofileseparatemRFOformattersthatarenotcloselyrelated.Forexample,ifyouneedtocompelyourspousetogiveyoudocumentsandyourspouseisalsolateinpayingsupport,youwouldfiletwoseparateRFOs,soeachcouldbegivenseparateattention.

If your spouse responds If your spousefiles a response to yourRFO, it is essential that you replywith aDeclaration,responding to everynew issueor fact that your spouse raises soyouget yourpoints into thewrittenrecord.Youmustserveandfileyourreplyatleast5courtbusinessdaysbeforethehearingifyourreplyispersonallyserved,or7daysifservedbyovernightcouriersothatthepapersarereceivedbytheendofthenextbusinessdayaftertheyarefiled.Yourproofofserviceshouldbefiled5calendardaysbeforethehearing.

Usuallyitisbesttogothroughtheresponseparagraphbyparagraphandrespondspecificallytoeachitem.Makesureyourespondtoeverysingleallegation,otherwisethejudgewillassumeitistrue.Donotrepeatwhatyousaidinyourmovingpapers.Judgesdonotlikereadingthesameoldthingtwicetolearnnothingnew.Don’twastetheirtime.

YoumightwanttoconsideralsofilinganRFOtostrikeouteverythingindeclarationspresentedbytheothersidethatistechnicallynotsupposedtobeconsideredbythejudge.Thisbringsthematterveryforcefullytothejudge’sattention.Forexample,anonexpertwitnessisonlyallowedtostatethingshe/shepersonallyobservedthatarerelevanttotheissuesindispute,soyouwouldaskthecourttoexcludespecificstatementsthatlackfoundation,arehearsay(aboutwhichthewitnesshadnopersonalknowledge),orspeculationoranopinionofawitnesswhoisnotanexpert,etc.Yourattorneyshoulddotheirownparttoraiseformalevidentiaryobjectionstotheresponseasappropriate.

Ifyouobtainedanordershorteningtimeandservedyourspouse,sayfivedaysbeforethehearing,andyourspouse’spapersarefiledoneortwodaysbeforecourt,asapracticalmatteryoumightbeunabletoproduceareplyandfileitbeforethehearing.Youcantrybringingyourreplytothehearingandseewhetherthejudgewillacceptit.Ifyouhavetimetorespondtotheirresponse,doit.MustmeetandconferBeforethehearing,thepartiesmeetandconferbytelephone(orasorderedbythecourt)totryingoodfaithtosettlesomeorallissues.Beforeorwhileconferring,thepartiesmustexchangealldocumentaryevidencethatwillberelieduponatthehearing.

Request for a continuance Iftheothersidecontactsyouandrequestsacontinuance,youcanagreeornot.Eitherway,youshouldfollowtheproceduresdiscussedinchapter24,sectionB.

Get ready for the hearing Gotochapter15andlearnhowtoprepareforthehearingandhowtopresentyourcaseincourt.


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CHAPTER 13HOW TO DO A TEMPORARY RESTRAINING ORDER (TRO)

creating safety and stability

Readchapter11beforeyoustartTRO

ATemporaryRestrainingOrder(TRO)isanordersignedbyajudgedirectingthenamedpartytocometocourttogiveareason(showcause)whythejudgeshouldnotmakeordersyourequestedinyourTROforms.Ifthepersonserveddoesnotrespondandcometocourt,thejudgewillprobablyissuetheorders.

Orders lastonlyuntil Judgment.TROordersare intended tostabilizeandprotectparties, theirchildren,ortheirpropertyuntiltheJudgmentisentered.Thentheyexpire.YourTROdoesnotgetyoupermanentprotectiveorders—forthat,youmusteitherstipulate(agree)toincludesuchordersinyour

A.DeadlinesandtimelinesB.HowtodoaregularTROC.HowtofileandserveyourTROD.Ifthere’saresponse

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Judgmentor at trial ask the judge to include them inyour Judgment.Exception!UnderFamilyCode6340(a),protectiveordersforchildcustody,visitationorsupportwillsurvivethetermination.

Automatic restrainingorders.Onpage2of theSummons,youwill see thatwhenaPetition isserved,bothpartiesbecomeboundbycertainorders.YouwoulduseanTROifyouwantordersthataredifferentthanthoseorifyouwanttocallyourspouse’sattentionveryforcefullytothematter.

Two types of TROs–regular and domestic violence (DV) ThereisasetofformsspecificallyforanTROthatinvolvesdomesticabuse(DV).FamilyCode§6203saysthat“abuse”isanyconductthatcausesbodilyinjuryorareasonablefearofimminentbodilyinjury to you, your child, someone you do or did livewith, or amember of your household.Whileemotionalabusecanbedevastating,particularlyifitoccursoveralongperiod,italonedoesnotsupporttheuseofthedomesticviolenceTRO.IfyourprobleminvolvesabuseasdefinedbytheFamilyCode,usethedomesticviolenceTRO.Ifyoudonothaveaclearcaseofabuse,usetheregularTRO.

Orders for a TRO CAN BE USED TO REQUEST

Orders against Child custody, visitation, support•Spousalsupport(butnotinaDVTRO)•Nocontactwithprotectedpersonsorpets•Custodyandprotectiveordersforfamilypets•Exclusivepossessionoffamilyhome•Possessionoffamilyautoorotherproperty•Paybillssuchascarpayment,mortgage,orcredit cards•RefertoFamilyCourtServicestodealwithcustody/visitation

Violence, harassment, or contact with a person, child or pet•VisitationuntilafterthehearingDrugs/alcoholduringorbeforevisitsPossessionoffirearmsorammunitionEnteringintoanynewmajorobligations•Transferring,hiding,orwastingcommunityproperty•Cashing,borrowingagainst,cancelling,transferring,orchangingbeneficiariesofanyinsuranceforpartiesorkids.

YoucanfileaDVTROatanytimebyitself.TheregularTROcanbefiledwiththePetitionorResponseoratanytimeafterward.

Child and spousal supportIfallyouneedisafastorderforchildsupport,considerusingtheeasyExpeditedChildSupportprocedure.Otherwise,youcanusearegularTROtorequestordersforbothchildandspousalsupport.But,withaDVTRO,youcanrequestonlychildsupportbutnotspousalsupport.IfyouwantbothaDVTROandaspousalsupportorder,youwillhavetofile(1)adomesticviolenceTROandaregularTROor(2)adomesticviolenceOSCandamotionforsupport.

Requesting a TRO for supportYoucan’tgetaTROsolelyformoneyrequests,suchassupport.ATROisonlyforlegalemergenciesand,forsomereason,beingtotallywithoutfundsisnotconsideredalegalemergency.However,ifyouhaveavalidactiononanyoftheTROmatterslistedabove,youcanalsoincludemoneyrequests,includingchildandspousalsupport,inyourTRO.However,ifyouareusingtheDomesticViolenceprocedure,youcan’trequestspousalsupport.Don’taskwhy;Ican’tfigureitouteither.

Putitanotherway:ifyouhaveavalidreasontofilearegularTRO(notdomesticabuse),youcanalsoincludearequestforchildandspousalsupportorders.However,ifyoufileaDomesticViolenceTRO,youcanonlyrequestchildsupport.Inthatcase,ifyoualsowanttoobtainspousalsupport,youhavetofile


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Deadlines and timelines

If you are requesting a TRO, you must give notice or explain why you didn’tIfyouaskforTROs,youmustfileadeclarationstatingthat(1)noticewasgiventoyourspousepersonally(nothis/orherattorney)ofwhenandwhereTROswouldberequested,andwhetherhe/sheplanstoappearinopposition;or(2)youtriedbutwereunabletogivenotice,specifyingwhateffortsweremade;or(3)thereisaverygoodreasonnottogivenotice,detailingwhythisisso.

Whenandhow.Noticemustbegivenpersonallybyphone,voicemail,orinwritingnolaterthan10a.m.onthecourtbusinessdaybeforethehearing.Ifnoticewasgivenlaterthanthis,youmustexplainexceptionalcircumstancesthatjustifyit.Thepersongivingnoticemuststate(1)thereliefbeingrequested,(2)thedate,time,andplaceTROswillberequested,and(3)mustaskiftheotherpartyplanstoappeartoopposetheapplication.So,youorsomeonemusttelephoneyourspouse,givetherequirednotice,thensignawrittendeclarationastowhatwasdone.Absentareasonnotto,youmusthaveallTROpapersservedatthefirstreasonableopportunitybeforethehearing,thengetaProofofPersonalServicesignedandfiledrightaway.

Excuses.Foracourttoissueorderswithoutnoticetotheotherside,youhavetoprovethatgivingnoticewouldcreatearealthreatofharm.Forexample,yourspouselivesinthehouseandispronetoviolence,soifhe/shelearnsoftheTRO,he/shewillbelikelytoharmyouorthechildren.Or,yourspousehasthreatenedtotakethechildrentoanothercountryandislikelytodosoifhe/shelearnsthatyouareaskingforaTRO.Orifgivingnoticeislikelytocauseyourspousetohide,thismightwork,especiallyifhe/shehasdoneanythinglikeitbefore.

Failedexcuses.Ifthejudgedoesnotacceptyourreasonfornotgivingnotice,yourpaperswillbereturnedandyouwillbeexpectedtogogivenotice.However, ifyoufeel thatyourspousetrulyisdangerousbutyoujustdidn’texpressitclearlyenough,youcouldresubmitthepapersandexplaintheproblembetter;but,ifyoudothis,youhavetotellthejudgethatthisisthesecondsubmissionandyourrequesttoskipthenoticehadpreviouslybeendenied.

Responders! Ifyougetnotice thataTROisgoing tobe requested, ifatallpossibleprepareaResponsiveDeclarationandfileitimmediatelyortakeittocourtatthetimeandplaceindicatedtopresentyoursideofthecase.AtleastshowupwithyourattorneyifyouwanttoopposetheTROs.

Plan service of papers before taking TRO to court — deadlinesReadchapter11Conwhocanserveandhowtoserve.Youwon’thavemuchtimetoservepapers,soyourattorneyneedSaplanallsetupandreadytogobeforeyoufileyourTRO.Ifyoudon’tserveyourspouseon time,you’llhave tohaveyourTROreissued.Worse, ifyourspousewasserved lateand the judgerefusestohearthematter,yourspousemighthidetoavoidgettingservedagain.YourattorneyshouldalwayshaveanApplicationforReissuanceonhandtopresenttothecourtincaseahearingiscontinued.

Ordershorteningtime(OST).Readchapter11Baboutordersshorteningtime.Forurgentmatters,askthattimeforservicebeshortenedto5daysbeforethehearingandtheresponsivedeclarationbedue

aseparatemotionforspousalsupport.Neitheryounorthecourtwanttwoseparatehearingsonsupport,sobesuretorequestthattheTROandthemotionbecalendaredforthesamedateandtime.Ifforsomereasontheycannotbecalendaredforthesametime,ifmotionhearingsarenotbeingsettoofarinthefuture,considerremovingyourchildsupportrequestfromthedomesticviolenceTROandfilingaseparateRequestForOrderforbothchildandspousalsupport.

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•TROgrantedwithnoticegiventotheotherside.YoumustpersonallyserveyourspousewithafullsetofTROpapersatleast16calendardaysbeforethehearing.

•TROgrantedwithoutnoticegiventotheotherside.YoumustpersonallyserveyourspousewithafullsetofTROpapersatleast5calendardaysbeforethehearing.

How to do a regular TRO

First,readchapter16togetclearabouttheordersyoucanrequestandchapter11abouthowtoprepareandbuildyourcase.Whenyouareclearabouttheordersyouwanttorequest,thefactsyoucanprovetojustifythoseorders,andhowyouaregoingtoservethepapers,youarenowreadytodiscussthiswithyourattorneyandproceed.

1. Serve the TRO package Althoughpeoplegenerallymailmotions,youshouldhaveaTROservedpersonally.Ifyourspousehasanattorneyofrecord,acopyshouldalsobeservedontheattorney.Thiscanbedonebymailifyouhavetimetoadd5extradaystothedeadlineforservice,orpersonally.YouneedasignedProofofServiceforeachpersonserved,whichyoufileincourtimmediately(safest)orincourtwhenyouappearatthehearing.

2. How to get your TRO reissued Ifyoucan’tserveyourTRObythedeadline,quicklyfiletheApplicationandOrderforReissuanceofOSC(FL-306).WhentheOrderforReissuanceissignedtheclerkwillwriteanewhearingdateonit.Theseshouldbeattachedtothepackageofpapersyouareservingandthenyoucanproceedtoservepapersontheothersidebeforeyournewdeadline.

If there’s a response

IfyourspouseservedyouwithaResponsiveDeclaration,itisessentialthatyourespondinwritingtoeverynewissueorfact.Youmustserveandfileyourreplyatleast5courtbusinessdaysbeforethehearingifpersonallyserved,or7daysifservedbyovernightcourier(wherelocalrulespermit).Also,thesepapersmustbereceivedbythecloseofbusinessonthenextbusinessdayaftertheyarefiled.

GothroughtheResponsiveDeclarationcarefullyandreplyspecificallytoeachitemthatyouthinkisuntrueormisleading.Thejudgecanassumethatanyfactyoudonotreplytoistrue.Donotrepeatwhatyousaidinyourmovingpapers—judgesdon’tlikereadingthesamethingtwicetolearnnothingnew. Youmightalsowanttodoawrittenmotiontostrikeaskingthecourttostrikeouteverythingthatistechnicallynotsupposedtobeconsideredbythejudge.Anon-expertwitnessisonlyallowedtostatethingshe/shepersonallyobservedthatarerelevanttotheissuesindispute,soyouwouldaskthecourttoexcludeanythingthatlacksfoundation,ishearsay(aboutwhichthewitnesshadnopersonalknowledge),isspeculationoranopinionofawitnesswhoisnotanexpert,etc.

2daysbeforethehearing.Ifthereisaspecificemergency,youcanrequestthatservicebeshortenedto2daysbeforethehearingandtheresponsivedeclarationbedueonedaybeforethehearing.

•TimelineforTROs.WhenaTROisissued,thehearingmustbeheldassoonasthecourtcalendarpermits,butnolaterthan21calendardaysfromthedatetheorderswereissuedordenied,or25daysifthecourtfindsgoodcausetoextendthetime.

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Request for a continuance Iftheothersidecontactsyouandrequestsacontinuance,youcanagreeornot.Eitherway,youshouldfollowtheproceduresdiscussedinchapter24B.

Get ready for the hearing Gotochapter15whereyouwilllearnhowtoprepareforthehearingandhowtopresentyourcasewhenyouareincourt.

How to do a domestic violence TRO

YouwoulduseaDVTROonlyiftherehasbeenphysicalharminyourfamily,orconductthatgivesyouagoodreasontofearimminentharmtoyouoranyoneinyourfamily.Otherwise,youusetheregularTRO.

Ifyouobtainedanordershorteningtimeandservedyourspouse,say,fivedaysbeforehearing,andyourspouse’spapersarefiledoneortwodaysbeforecourt,youmightbeunabletoproducearesponseandfileitbeforethehearing.Ifyouhavetimetorespondtotheirresponse,doit;otherwise,trybringingittothehearingandseewhetherthejudgewillacceptit.

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CHAPTER 14RESPONDING TO AN RFO OR TRO

Readchapter11beforeresponding

EveryactiontochangemaritalstatusstartswithaSummonsandPetition.It isnotunusualforamotion(RFOorTRO)tobeservedatthesametimeorshortlyafterward—manyattorneysdothisasaroutinematter.Unlessthereisajustifiablereasontodoso,itisasurewaytostartawar.Ifyouwereservedamotionatthestartofacase,youneedtotreatthematterveryseriouslybecausetheoutcomeofmostcasesisdeterminedatthislevelratherthanlaterattrial.

A.FirstthingsB.Respondorsettle?C.HowtoobjectifservedatthelastminuteD.Askingforacontinuance(postponement)E.HowtodoaResponsiveDeclaration

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First things

Wheneveryouareservedwithlegalpapers,readeverywordofeverypaper,eventhefineprint,includinganythingthatisrubber-stamped.Itisallimportant.

1. Does the RFO form (FL-300) show a hearing date? Have you been given notice of intent to request TROs?

Here’showitworks.UnlessyourExcanconvinceajudgethatthereisagoodreasonnottogivenotice,thejudgemustrequireatleast24hours’noticethatimmediateemergencyordersaregoingtoberequested.Nohearingwillhavebeensetyet,soifyoureceivedformFL-300andthetimeanddateofthehearinghavebeenleftblank,eventhoughyoushouldhavebeengivennoticewiththetimeandplace,thisprobablymeansyouhavejustreceivedyour24hours’noticethatyourexisseekingorderstotakeeffectevenbeforethehearing.Ofcourse,ifyoudidgetanoticeofintentiontorequestimmediateorders(TROs)thereisnodoubtaboutit.Sohere’swhatyoudo:

First,looktoseewhatordersarebeingrequestedandwhatfactshavebeenstatedtosupporttherequests.Doyouwanttoopposetherequest?Ifyoudo,askyourself,andyourlawyer,ifyouhavefactsto stateonyourbehalfandanyevidence (declarations,witnessesordocuments) topresent thatmightcontradictorundermine facts stated inyour spouse’spapers. Ifyoudo,youmustmovewithextremespeed.Ifyoudon’thaveanattorneyalready,getoneimmediately!Butalso:

•Readallthepaperscarefully—everyword,evenfineprintandthingsthathavebeenrubber-stampedonthepapers—toseeiftheysaywhenandwhereyourspousewillsubmitpaperstoajudge.Somecountiesrequirethatyoubetoldthisandothersdonot,solookcarefully.•Ifthepaperssaywhentheywillbepresentedtothecourt,youcanshowupandbeheardbeforethejudgesigns.ItwillbemuchbetterifyoucanalsofileaResponsiveDeclarationaheadoftime,butatleastshowupwithsomethingpreparedtosay.Ifyouwantedtogetanattorneybuthavenothiredoneyet,letthejudgeknowandtrytoaskforacontinuancewhichwouldallowyoutohireone.•Ifyouarenottoldwhenandwherethepaperswillbepresentedforsignature,youstillfileaResponsiveDeclarationwithin24hours.Ifyoucangetyoursideofthingsinthefilebeforethejudgeconsidersthecase,youmightdosomedamagecontrolfromthebeginning.•Evenifyoucan’tgetaResponsiveDeclarationcompletedandfiledbeforethejudgeconsiderstheTROs,youhavetostartworkrightawaytogetonefiledbeforethedateofyourhearing.

Now,goontoitem2,toseeifordershavealreadybeensignedintoeffectagainstyou.

2. Orders that are effective when you are servedRFO.TheordersrequestedinanRFOarenevereffectiveuntilafterthehearingonthemotionandanOrderAfterHearingorastipulationisentered.However,mistakesgetmade,andthispaperworkisovertheheadsofsomeattorneysandjudges.IfyourmotioncamewiththeTemporaryOrdersformattachedandsigned(shouldn’thappen)readthisnextbitabouttheregularTRO.

TRO.Here’showtotellifanyordersareineffectwhenyouwereserved.

•DomesticViolenceTRO.IftheTemporaryRestrainingOrderform(DV-110)wasnotsignedbyajudgeatthebottomofpage3,therearenoordersagainstyouuntilafterthehearing,ifever.Ifitwassignedbyajudge,thenanyorderscheckedontheform(items6–21)becameeffectivewhenyouwereserved.Otherformscontainonlyrequestsforordersbutarenotimmediatelyeffective.Ifyouaresubjecttoanyordersatall,readpage4oftheTROverycarefully.

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•RegularTRO.IftheTemporaryOrdersform(FL-305)isattachedtotheRFOform(FL-300)andsignedbyajudge,thoseordersareineffectwhenyouareserved.Otherwise,theywillnotgointoeffectuntilafterthehearing,ifatall.•NothingintheRFOform(FL-300)isanorder,onlyrequestsfororders.Ifordersareineffect.First,looktoseewhatordersarebeingrequestedandwhatfactshavebeenstatedtosupporttherequests.•Doyouwanttoopposetherequest?•Ifyoudo,askyourself,andyourlawyer,ifyouhavefactstostateonyourbehalfandanyevidence(documents,witnessesordeclarationsofwitnesses)topresenttothecourtthatmightcontradictorunderminefactsstatedinyourspouse’spapers.•Ifyoudo,youhavetomovefast.Ifyoudon’thaveanattorneyalready,getoneimmediately!

Youcanobjecttoinadequatenoticeorrequestacontinuance(sectionsCandD,below),butevenifyoudo,youstillwanttogetaResponsiveDeclarationonfileassoonaspossible.

Donotviolateanyorders.Readeachorderverycarefullyandbeverycarefulnottoviolateanyorder,nomatterhowunreasonableorunfairitmightseem.Todosocoulddestroyyourcredibilityincourtandwreckyourcase.Ordersmadeatthisstageareonly“temporary,”buttheycanhaveatremendousimpactonyourcaseandonyourlife.

Gotguns?IfyouwereservedwithaDomesticViolenceRestrainingOrder(DV-110or130)readitem9andDV-800INFO.Ifyoupossessfirearmsorammunition,thenwithin24hoursyoumustsellitalltoalicensedgundealerortakeitalltoapolicedepartmentorsheriff’soffice.TakeDV-800withyouandgetitsigned,becausewithin48hoursofthetimeyouwereservedwiththeTRO,youneedtotakeyourTROwiththereceiptandfileitwiththecourtclerk.Notethatyoucan’tpurchasefirearmsorammunitionaslongasyouhavetherestrainingorderagainstyou.Ifyouremploymentrequiresuseoffirearms,youshouldletyourattorneyknowimmediately.Evenifyouareconvictedofonlyamisdemeanor,youcanneverownafirearmagain.

3. If child custody or visitation is an issueIftheordersrequestedincludechildcustody/visitation,therewillbeadateforyoutoattendmandatorymediation,screeningoraparentingprogram.Thisinformationwillappearatitem7ontheRFO(FL-300),oratitem4(c)ontheChildCustodyandVisitationOrder(DV-140).Writethisdateonyourcalendar.Youdonotwanttomissthis,eventhoughparticipatingintheprocesscanbeupsetting.

4. How much time do you have to respond?ResponsetothePetition(FL-100).YouneedtofileaResponsetothePetitionwithin30daysofthedayyouwereservedinordertoprotectyourrightsandgetequalstandinginthecasewithPetitioner.Ifyoudonotrespond,youcanloseyourrighttoparticipateanda“default”judgmentcanbeenteredagainstyou.Itisalotoftroubletohavethedefaultsetasidelater.

TheResponse is a separate document from theResponsiveDeclaration to anOSCormotion,andtheyhavedifferentdeadlines,sobecareful!IfyouwereservedwithbothaPetitionandanOSCormotion,youmustrespondtoboth.Sometimesself-representedpeople—andevensomelawyers—willfileaResponsiveDeclarationtoaTROorRFOandforgettofiletheResponsetothePetition.Theopeningstagesofadivorcecanbeupsetting,soitiseasytoforgetabouttheResponse.Don’tdothat.


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ResponsetoPetitionandRFOorTRO

Petition isopposedbyResponsefiledandservedpersonallywithin30calendardaysofservice

OSC or motion isopposedbyResponsiveDeclarationfiledandservedpersonallyatleast9courtbusinessdaysbeforethehearing(unlessOSTchangesthedeadline)

ResponsetoRFO.IfyouwereservedwithanRFO,examineitem2toseewhenyourmatterissetforahearingandmarkthatdateonyourcalendar.Unlessthejudgesignedanordershorteningtime,youneedtofileandserveyourResponsiveDeclarationatleast9courtbusinessdaysbeforethehearing,somarkthatdate,too.Itisveryimportantnottobelate,butitisbettertofilelatethantonotfileatall.Papersshouldbeservedpersonally,nolaterthanbytheendofthenextbusinessdayaftertheywerefiled.

Custodyissue?Ifthereisanappointmentwithamediator(item7),itwouldbebesttogetyourResponsiveDeclarationonfileasmuchaheadoftimeaspossible,inhopesthatthemediatorwillseetheothersideofthestory.Forsure,takeacopyofyourpaperstotheappointment.

Ordershorteningtime?IfthereisanOrderShorteningTime(OST),yourhearingmightbeinadayortwo,soyourResponsiveDeclarationwillhavetobedonewiththespeedoflight.TofindoutifthereisanOST,lookatitem5ifyouwereservedwiththeRequestforOrder(FL-300)oritem5,line1ontheNoticeofCourtHearing(DV-109).

Make a case calendar Youneedtoorganizeandkeeptrackofallactivitiesanddeadlinesinyourcase,sosetupacalendarthatcoversthenextyearorso.MarkthedateyouwereservedwiththeSummonsandPetition,thencount30dayslaterandwritedown“DeadlineforResponse.”Aweekbeforethatwrite,“PrepareResponse.”IfyouwereservedwithaRFO(FL-300),youwillneedtocalendarthedateforyourhearingandthedeadlineforyourResponsiveDeclaration.Althoughthisisyourattorney’sresponsibility,itwilldonoharmforyoutobemindfulofdeadlines,anditcouldbeextremelyhelpful ifyourattorney’soffice is less thanorganized.

Continuances Becausetimeissoshortandyouareundersomuchpressure,itwouldbeonlynaturaltothinkaboutgettingyourhearingpostponedbyaskingtheothersideorthejudgeforacontinuance.Ineithercase,youmightormightnotgetone.AskingforacontinuanceisdiscussedinsectionD,below. Filing fees Thefirsttimeyoufilepapersincourt,youmustpayafilingfeeforbecomingapartytothecase.IfyouhavealreadyfiledaResponseandpaidthefilingfee,thereisnoadditionalfeeforaResponsiveDeclarationtoaRequestforOrder.ButifyouhavenotpreviouslypaidtheResponsefilingfee,thenyourResponsiveDeclarationwilltriggertheresponsefilingfeeandyouwillhavetopayitatthattime.Later,whenyoufileyourResponsetothePetition,therewillbenoadditionalcost.

Respond or settle?

IfyoucanenterintoanagreementinwritingandavoidthenecessityofrespondingtoanRFOorTRO,thatisalwaysdesirable,assumingitcanbedoneonreasonablyfairterms.However,neverletadeadlinetorespondgobyjustbecauseyouaretalking.Thisisatimewhenyouneedtoproceedontwotracksatthesametime:(1)workonanegotiatedsettlementandhopeforafairagreement,and(2)prepare

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fortheworst—acontestedcourthearing.Startyourresponsenow.Anotherpossibilityiswherebothpartiesagreetotakethematteroff-calendarorresetitforaspecificlatertimewhiletheyattempttonegotiatethematter.Ifthishappens,youhavetofileawrittenstipulationwiththecourt,orhavethemovingpartytakethematteroff-calendarorsetforalaterdate.Theotherpartyshouldcalltheclerktoverify.

Reviewchapter1,item2,aboutreasonsnottonegotiate.Ifitmakessensetonegotiate,thenstarttalkingtotheothersidebyletter,telephone,oremail.Atthesametime,youshouldimmediatelybeginpreparing(1)aResponsiveDeclaration toanyRFOand(2)aResponse to thePetition.Particularly iffinancialrequestshavebeenmade,itcouldtakesometimetodoyourIncomeandExpenseDeclaration,soyoucan’twaituntilthelastminutethenmadlyscrambletogetthedocumentsdone.Prepareandfilethemwellinadvance.Beingpreparedwillimpresstheothersideandgiveyouasecurefeelingforyournegotiations.Ifyoureachasettlement,besurethatitisintheformofawrittenagreementorastipulation(aformalagreementtobesignedbythejudge)asdescribedinchapter5.EvenifyouagreetotermsforanRFOorTRO,youmightwanttogotocourtonthedateofthehearingtobesuretheagreementissubmittedtothecourtandthereisn’tanyfunnybusinessbehindyourback.

How to object if you were served at the last minute

Youareentitledto16courtbusinessdays’noticeofanymotionorregularTROagainstyou,unlessthecourthasissuedanOrderShorteningTimereducingtherequirednumberofdays’notice.Ifthepaperswereservedonyoulessthan16courtbusinessdaysbeforethehearing—orfewerdaysthanspecifiedinanyordershorteningtime—atthebeginningofthehearingyoumightwanttoverballyobjectthatyoudidnotreceiveadequatenotice.Ifthejudgeagrees,he/shewillrefusetoproceedwiththehearingandthiswillgiveyoumoretime.Nowwe’lldiscusshowtomakeawrittenmotiontoobject,whichcanbedifficult.

Ifyouobject,shouldyoualsofileyourresponse?Ifyouwanttoobjectthatyouhadinadequateservice,butyoufileagoodandthoroughResponsiveDeclaration,thejudgewillfeelthatyoudonotneedmoretimebecauseyoumanagedtorespond.IfyoudonotfileaResponsiveDeclarationatall,eveniftherewasinadequatenotice,thejudgecouldmistakenlyproceedbydefaultorrefusetoacceptyourpapersortestimonyinthecourtroomatthetimeofthehearing.Ifyoudonotattend,thejudgemayforgettochecktheproofofservicetobesureyouhadproperandtimelynotice. Thereisnoclearanswertothisdilemma.Yourchoicesare:(1)don’tdoanything(dangerous,asthejudgemaynotpickuptheproblem);(2)don’tfilepapersbutgotothehearingandverballyobjectthatyouhadinadequatetimetopreparesoitshouldgooff-calendarorbecontinued(dangerous,becausethejudgemayproceed,asyouevidentlyhadenoughnoticetogettocourt);(3)dopapersbutdon’tfilethemandgotothehearingandobjecttoinadequatenoticeandfilethepapersonlyifthejudgeproceeds(dangerous,asthejudgecouldrefusetoacceptyourpapersortestimonyifhe/shefeelsyougotadequatenotice);or(4)fullyandtimelyprepareandfilepapersandattendhearing(andriskthat thejudgewillprobablythinkyournoticewasadequateasyoudidsuchagoodjobofpreparing).Givenalltheselousychoices,itisprobablybesttodo(4)ifyoucan,asitissafest.

Asking for a continuance (postponement)

YoumaywanttohaveyourattorneygotothehearingontheRFO/TROandverballyaskthejudgefor apostponement,which in court is calleda continuance.Often, especially forTROs,yourhearingwillbecalendaredforadatesonearinthefuturethatyouwillnothavetimetomakeawrittenmotiontocontinue.Whetherthejudgegrantstheverbalrequestforacontinuancewilldependonsomanyfactorsthatwecannotpredictifitwillbegranted.Gettingacontinuanceisdescribedinmoredetailinchapter24.

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Ingeneral, the judgewill expect you tohave agood reasonwhyyouneed a continuance.AnexamplerelatedtoRFOsandTROs(nottrials)wouldbeiftherewasanordershorteningtimesothatyougotonlyafewdays’noticeofthehearing.Othergoodreasonsareinchapter24.

Alwayshopeforthebestandpreparefortheworst.Youmustbefullypreparedtoproceedwiththehearingifitturnsoutthatyourrequestisdenied.

Gotorders?Thejudgeislikelytoleaverestrainingordersinforceuntilthenexthearing.Soifyourspousegotanimmediatestay-awayorderagainstyou,itcouldbeusedtodenyyoucontactwithyourchildren.Youwillneedtocallthisproblemtothejudge’sattentionatthehearing,ashe/shemightnotbeawarethatanordermadeforsafetyisbeingusedtodeterminevisitation.

How to do a Responsive Declaration

If you are opposed to any of the orders requested by your spouse in an RFO orTRO, file aResponsiveDeclaration (FL-320) topresentyour side to thecourt.Thewayyoustate factsandbuildyourcaseisdiscussedinchapter11.MuchofwhatappliestodoinganRFOorTROalsoappliestoyourresponse,sobesuretoreviewchapters12and13,too.Itwillhelpyouunderstandwhattheothersideisdoing,aswellaswhatyouaregoingtodo.

Order of business First,completeyourpapers,thenfilethem,thenhavesomeoneservethemonyourspouseandhis/herattorneyofrecord,ifany(seechapter9-I),thenfileaProofofService.Yourpapersmustbefiledandservedpersonallyonyourspouseatleast9courtbusinessdaysbeforethehearing,butiftherewasanordertoshortentime,followthat.Itisveryimportantnottobelate,butitisbettertofilelatethannottofileatall.Donotwaituntilthelastminute.ThesooneryoufileyourResponsiveDeclaration,themorelikelyitisthatyoursideofthestorywillbeinthejudge’sfilebythetimeofthehearing.However,ifyouarerelyingonsomesortofsurprisetactic,orwanttoputtimepressureontheotherside,havepapersservedpersonally9courtbusinessdaysbeforethehearingandfilethemonthesameday.Becareful,though;thistypeofbrinkmanshipisdangerousasyourplanscanbedestroyedbyatrafficjamonthefreewayoradozenotherthings.Wecannotrecommendservingyourresponseatthelastminute.

How to do the Responsive Declaration to Request for Order (FL-320) First,thinkaboutwhatfactsyouaregoingtostateandhowyouaregoingtoconvincethejudgethatyouare in the right.Planyour casewithyour lawyer andgetwitnessdeclarations if anyonehasanythingrelevantandusefultoyoursideofthings.Readchapter11D–Fabouthowtobuildyourcaseandmakewrittendeclarations.

Replytoeveryorderrequested.Youmustrespondtoeveryorderrequestedbyyourspouse,oritwillbeassumedthatyouconsenttoit.

Suggestanalternativeorder.TheresponsetotheregularTROoffersyouanopportunitytosuggestanalternativeorderthatyouwouldaccept.Onanyitem,youcancheckaboxthatsays“Iconsenttothefollowingorder,” and enterwhat youwould accept on this particular order.For example, for spousalsupportorattorneyfees,youcanenteranamountthatyouwouldpay,oryoucouldevenrequestthatthemovingpartypayyouinstead.Forchildsupport,youcanattachyourowncalculationoftheguidelineamountshowingadifferentresult.Or,ifyourspousewantscontrolofthefamily’sBMW,youcouldoffertheequallyserviceableHondaCivic,pointingoutinyourdeclarationthatyouhavetodrivebuyerswhilehe/shedrivesyourtwochildrenaround.Or,ifsupervisedvisitationwasrequested,youcanoppose,oryoucansuggestothervisitationarrangementsthantheonesrequested.Ifyoucan’taffordsupervision,

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sayso,andsaythatyoudon’twanttobecutofffromyourkidsjustbecauseyoudon’thavemoneyforsupervision.

Statefacts.Item9iswhereyoustatefactsandattachdocumentsthat justifyeachpositionyouhavetaken.Thisisyourowndeclarationorstatementoffacts.Donotwriteyourdeclarationbeforeyoureadchapter11F.Ifyoualsoattachthedeclarationsofotherwitnesses,orotherdocuments,refertothemhere.Forexample,“Alsoseeattacheddeclarationsof(fullnames),computerreportofguidelinesupport,FL-311,andFL-150.”

AskingforsomethingnewthatwasnotintheRFOorTROSometimesyouwantthecourttoconsidersomethingnewanddifferentthanwhatwasrequestedintheRFO.Perhapsthemovingpartywantsyoukickedoutof thehouse,andyouwanthim/hertopaythemortgageifhe/shestaysinthathouse.Ormaybehe/shedidn’taskforattorneyfees,andyouwantattorneyfeesordered.

DomesticviolenceTRO.Ifyouwantadomesticviolencerestrainingorderagainstyourspouse,youmustfileyourownDVTRO,notjustaResponsiveDeclaration.EvenifyourspousefiledaDVTROagainstyou,youcannotuseyourResponsiveDeclaration toobtainaprotectiveorderagainsthim/her.YoumustdoyourowndomesticviolenceTRO(chapter13E)ifyouarefearfulforyourownsafetyorthesafetyofachildorfamilymember.Issuingmutualrestrainingordersasaroutinematter,justonrequest,isnotgoodlawandisbecomingrare.

Everythingelse.Statelawisnotperfectlyclearonthesubjectofwhatisanewmatterandwhenitcanberaised,soresults tendtovaryfromjudgetojudge.Most judgeswill letyouraiseissuesthatarecloselyrelatedto(orpartof)therequestsinthemovingpapers,buttheywillnotletyoubringupcompletelynewissuesinyourResponsiveDeclaration.

Ifyourspousewantstoincreasesupport,andyouwanttodecreaseit,youshouldsaysoinyourResponsiveDeclarationbecauseitisthesamesubject.But,ifyourspousewantssupportandyouwantattorneyfees,youwillprobablyhavetofileyourownRFO.

Whenyouarenotsure,thesafestthingistodoboth:includethe(possibly)newmatterinyourresponseandfileyourownRFOorTROatthesametime.Youcanalwaystakeitoff-calendarlateriftheissueishandledinthefirsthearing.YouneedtodothisbecauseitispossiblethatthejudgewhohearsyournewRFOorTROmightthinktheissuewasproperlypartofthefirstRFOorTROanddecidethatyougaveupyourrightbynotraisingitinyourResponsiveDeclarationinthefirstplace.Ifthefirstjudgealreadydecideditwasanewmatter,thiscan’thappen.

How to file and serve your Responsive Declaration Becausetimeissoshort,yourResponsiveDeclarationshouldbefiledfirst,thenservedpersonallynolaterthanbytheendofthenextbusinessdayafterfiling.


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CHAPTER 15PRESENTING YOUR CASE AT THE HEARING

Preparing for the hearing

Wellbeforeyourhearing,makesureyourcaseiscompletelyorganizedandyouhavenotesforwhatyouaregoingtosay,whatdocumentsaregoingtointroduced,andwhatwitnesses,ifany,willneedtobesubpoenaedtobepresent.Muchofthisiscoveredinchapter25,becauseinmanywaysahearingisjustlikeasmalltrial,sobesuretoreadchapter25afteryoufinishthischapter.Ifyouortheothersidewillintroducewitnesstestimonyatthehearing,alsoreadchapter17-D2andD3abouttestifyingorexaminingawitnessatadeposition.

Subpoenawitnessesordocumentstocourt.Ifyouneedawitnesstocometocourttotestify,orbringrecords,orboth,yourlawyermustbepreparedtogetsubpoenasoutassoonasyougetahearingdate.HowthisisdoneiscoveredinsectionBbelow.DeadlinesareinsectionB(f).

A.PreparingforthehearingB.HowtosubpoenawitnessesorrecordsC.HowtodothehearingD.ExpiredTROsE.Attheendofthehearing

A

YOU AREHERE

JUDGMENT

PRE-TRIAL MOTION



DISCOVERY

CUSTODY MEDIATION


TRIALTHE

LEG

AL

SYST

EM

PETITION

RESPONSE


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Goatleastonedaytovisitcourtandwatchdivorcemotionsbeingheard.Observehowattorneysandindividualsconductthemselves,whatworksandwhatdoesn’t.Observethejudge’sbehavior.

Organizeyourpresentationinwritingbybringingalegibleoutlineofwhatyouaregoingtosayandalistoftheevidenceyouwanttohaveintroduced.Experiencedattorneysoftentypetheirpresentationstothecourt,atleastinoutline.Ifyouhaveanattorneywhocomesunpreparedtoyourhearingandjustspeaksfromwhathe/sheremembers,thiswouldnotbeagoodsign.

Meetandconfer.Manycountieshavelocalrulesthatrequirepartiestomeetandconferbeforethecourthearingtotrytoreachanagreement,unlessthereisanallegationofdomesticviolence.Evenifyouareverysurethatmeetingwithyourspouseishopeless,ifthecourtrulesrequireityoushouldfigureoutasafewaytodoit.Youdon’twantyourspouseortheirlawyertocometocourtandsay,“YourHonor,myspouserefusedtomeetwithmeandtodiscusssettlement;he/sheonlywantstodragmeintocourt.”Youwanttolookandactlikethegoodguy,eveniftheonlybenefitistoshowthejudgeit’shopeless.Besides,itmightwork.

Exchangedocuments.Manycountieshavealocalrulerequiringanexchangeofeverydocumentyou intend to show thecourt somenumberofdaysbeforeahearing.Even ifyour spouse showsyounothing,youshouldcomplybecauseyoudon’twanttoriskthejudgerefusingyourevidencebecauseyoudidn’tfollowtherules.Sometimesthereisanexceptionfor“impeachment”evidence;thatis,evidencewhosepurpose isonly toshow theotherperson isa liar. Itmaynotbenecessary toexchange that inadvance.

WitnessList.Ifyouwanttopresentoraltestimonyatyourhearing,youneedtofileawitnesslistaheadofthehearingasdescribedinchapter11DandFigure11.1.Becausethisisastaterule,itappliesin all counties. It is possible that the judgemight decline to allow the live testimonyof oneormorewitnesses,sothesafestthingisstilltoputeverythingintoyourmovingpapers.

Doesyourjudgereadpapers?Sincepaperworkisalwaysanimportantpartofanyhearing,youwouldthinkjudgeswouldroutinelyreadthedocumentsinadvance.Wrong.Becausemostcasessettleorcontinue,judgesdon’twanttoreadpapersforcasesthatarenotgoingtobeheard.Anythingotherthanaconfident,“JudgeXalwaysreadspapers,”thenyoushouldprepareasifthejudgewillnothavereadyourpapers.Atthehearing,ifyouarenotsure,askthejudgeifhe/shehasreadthepapers.Ifnot,youneedtoaskthejudgetopleasereadthemorallowyouenoughtimetoorallydescribeeverydetailthatisinthem.

Askforapreread.Somecountiesspecificallyprovideinlocalrulesthatifyouwantthejudgetoreadyourpapers,yourlawyershouldphonetheclerkacertainnumberofdaysbeforethehearing.Inanycounty,itcan’thurttoasktheclerkifyoucanrequesta“preread,”especiallyifyourmotionisnotsimple.

Ifyouknowwhoyourjudgewillbeandwhetherhe/shewantsvisualororalinformation,howtoprepareisfairlyclear.However,assumingyoudonotknow,yourlawyershouldbepreparedforbothpossibilitiesincase(1)thejudgewillhavereadyourpapersandwillgetirritatedifyourepeateverythinginthem,or(2)thejudgewillwantyoutopresenteverydetailofthecaseorally.Youneedbothashortversionandalongversionofwhatyouwillsayatthehearing.Bothversionsbeginwithalistofissuesthatarebeforethecourt.Thispartofyourtalkrecitestheheadingsthemovingpartyusedinthemotion.Afterthat,youshouldhave(1)ashortoralstatementwithonlynewfactsforajudgewhoreadspapersandyourcasedidnotincludeoraltestimony,and(2)forajudgewhodoesnotreadpapers,orwhereimportantfactswereintroducedthroughoraltestimony,alongerstatementthatsummarizesthestrongpointsinfavorofyourpositionthatweredevelopedincourt.


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How to subpoena witnesses or records to court

Asubpoenahasthepowerofacourtorder,requiringthepersonaddressedtocometocourt.TheCivilSubpoenaforPersonalAppearanceisusedtodirectawitnesstoappearincourttogivetestimonywhenyoudonotneedthemtobringrecordsoritemswiththem.TheCivilSubpoena(DucesTecum)isusedtodirectawitnesstobringsomethingtocourt(“Ducestecum”isLatinfor“withyou,”thatis,thewitnessistobringsomethingwithhim/hertocourt).

Howsubpoenasareissued.Asubpoenamustbe“issued”bythecourtclerk—i.e.,stampedwiththesealofthecourt.Ifyouhaveanattorney,theattorneycanissuetheSubpoenamerelybysigningit,withouthavingtoinvolvethecourtclerk.

How to do the hearing

Readchapter25ongoing to trialasmuchofwhat’s there is relevant topresentingacaseatahearing.Ifyouortheothersidewillintroducewitnesstestimonyatthehearing,alsoreadchapter17-D2andD3abouttestifyingorexaminingawitnessatadeposition.

Don’tbe late,notevenbyoneminute.Plan toarrive30minutesearly.Checkout theparkingsituationinadvance.Allowforterribletraffic.Don’ttakeanychances.Arrivinglatecouldputthejudgeinabadmoodtowardyourcase.IfitisyourmotionorOSC,itcouldgetyourmatterthrownoutofcourt,whichwouldmeanyou’llhavetostartoverfromthebeginningwithaspouseonfullalert.

Calendarcall.Insomecounties,youshowupatthecourtroomwherethehearingwillbeheard.Inothercounties,youshowupatamastercalendarcourtwherecasesareassignedoutforhearing.Ineithercase,whencourtbegins,thejudge“callsthecalendar”eithertoseewhoispresentortoactuallyheareachcase.Whenyourcasenameiscalled,yourlawyerwillstandupandletthecourtknowthatyourcaseisready.Thejudgemightaskhowmuchtimeyourcasewilltake,theneitherhearyourcaseorassignittoanothercourt.You’llbehappynowifyoufollowedouradviceandvisitedcourtpreviouslytoobservesomecasessoyou’llknowhowthingsgo.

Judgepro-tem?Youmightbeofferedan“opportunity”tohaveyourhearingwithacommissioneractingasjudgepro-tem—anattorneyactingastemporaryjudge.Ifyourattorneyknowsandlikesyourrealjudge,youcanrefusethejudgepro-tem.Ifyourlawyerdislikesyourjudge,maybeyoushouldtakeyourchanceswithajudgepro-tem.Ifyourlawyerdosen’tknowthepro-temandisneutraltowardsyourjudge,youcanrefusethejudgepro-temifyouwanttostallyourhearing.Ifyouwanttohurryupandgetitdone,acceptthejudgepro-tem.Ifyouobjectandaresenttothecommissioneranyway,youhavetoobjectontherecordbothbeforeandafterthehearing.Thenyouareentitledtohaveyourcaseheardalloveragainbyarealjudge.

Ifyourspouseasksforacontinuance.Yourspouseorhis/herattorneymightcometocourtandrequestacontinuance(postponement).Thiswillusuallyoccurduringthecalendarcall.Youwillwanttotellthejudge(1)whyyouverymuchneedthematterheardrightnow,and(2)yourspousehadplentyoftimetorespondandprepare,and(3)reasons,ifyouhaveany,forwhyhavingtoreturntocourtwouldworkahardshiponyou,yourkids,youremployer,oranywitnessesyouhavewithyou.Alwaysbringyourcalendartocourtandbeawareofyourownscheduleaswellasyourchildren’sandwitnesses’schedulesforthenextseveralmonths.Evenifyoudon’texpectapostponement,sometimesthecaseendsupgettingcontinuedbythecourtitself.Bepreparedtopickafuturedate.

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Abusivespouse?Ifyourspouseisphysicallydangeroustoyou—meaningthathe/shehasphysicallyhurtyouinthepast—thenadayortwobeforeyourhearing,goinandaskthebailiffhowyoursafetycanbeensuredatthehearing,ormakesureyourattorneyisawareandconsciousofthefactthatyouarefearfulofyourspouse.Yourattorneyisnotcapableofphysicallyprotectingyou.

AsktokeepTROsineffect.TROsexpireatthetimeofthehearing.Ifyourcaseiscontinued,andyouhadrestrainingordersthroughaTRO,yourattorneymustaskthejudgetokeepthoseordersineffectuntilthenexthearing.Otherwise,yourordersaregoneandyouwillbeunprotected.

Pressuretosettle.Thejudgemightinsistthatyouandyourspouse,alongwithyourattorneys,gointothehallwayandtrytoreachasettlement.Nomatterhowhopelessyouthinkthisis,youhavetogooutandtalk.However,knowthatyoudon’thavetoagree.Thejudgeistheretodecidecasesforpeoplewhodon’tagree.Whoknows,manycasesdosettle“onthecourthousesteps”whenbothpartiesseethehearingstaringthemintheface.Ifyousettle,youmusteitherdoitinwriting(seechapter5aboutstipulations)signedby the judgeororally in thecourtroomandapprovedby the judge. Ifyouhaveonlyapartialsettlement,yourattorneywillletthejudgeknow.Youcanagreetosomeissuesandaskthejudgedecidetheothers.Yourpartialagreementwillbestatedfirstandtheapprovalofthepartiesandthejudgeshouldbeplacedontherecord,thenyoucanhaveyourhearingonremainingmatters.

Theformatof thehearing.Unless thejudgeisparticularlybrusque,eachsidewillprobablybeallowedtoopenwithastatementtothecourtsummarizing:whatisrequested,onwhatissuesthepartiesdisagree,andaverybriefdescriptionofthestrongpointsinfavororagainsteachorderrequested.Livetestimony.Ahearingwillbedecidedonthebasisofdocumentsandwrittenstatementsand,iflivetestimonywasallowed,thetestimonyofwitnesses.Thejudgewillalloworaltestimonyonlyifawitnesslistwassubmittedinadvance.Eachsidehastherighttocross-examinewitnessespresentedbytheotherside,andtopresentdocumentsororaltestimonythatmighttendtocontradict(rebut)whatanywitnessesordocumentstated,butrebuttalevidencecan’tgobeyondtheissuesinthetestimonyyouaretryingtorebut.

Handling witnesses. Presenting live testimony has a lot in commonwith preparing a witnessdeclaration,sobesuretoreadtheinstructionsinsections11Eand11F.Handlingawitnessatahearingisalmostexactlythesameasthewayyouwoulddoitattrial,includingpreparation,examiningawitness,andcross-examination,sobesuretoreadallofchapter25verycarefully,wherethosesubjectsarediscussedinsomedetail.Alsoreadchapter17-D2andD3abouttestifyingorexaminingawitnessatadeposition,asthatinformationisalsorelevantandhelpfulhere.

Thedecision.Because family court cangetvery informal, some (notverygood) judgesmakedecisions without any evidence at all. This is not legally acceptable. Statements of lawyers are notevidence.So,ifyouarewhirledthroughacourtroomandfindyourselfsubjecttoabadorder,askyourselfwhethertherewasevidencetosupportthespecificorderthejudgemade.Anordermustbesupportedbydocumentsorthetestimonyorwrittendeclarationsofwitnesses.Ifanorderismadeagainstyouandthereisn’tanythinginanydocument,testimonyordeclarationonthesubjectoftheorder,youcanfileamotiontoreconsiderwithin10daysoftheorder—althoughthisdoesnottechnicallymeettherequirementsofCodeofCivilProcedure1008regroundsforreconsideration—oryoucanappeal.Theproperprocedureisappealorawrit,butthatisbeyondthescopeofthisbook.Speaktoyourattorneyabouttheseoptions,butknowthattheyareextremelyexpensiveand,therefore,notavailabletomostpeople.Unfortunately,judgesknowthis,andit’sbelievedthatthemannerinwhichsomeofthemruntheircourtroomsisinfluencedbythisknowledge.


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Makesureeverythingiscovered.Everyorderyouwantandallevidenceinsupportofthoseordersshouldbeinyourpaperwork.But,ifthejudgeisdoingbusinesswiththepartiesorattorneysorally,youmustbe sure toquicklymentioneachorder and its supporting factsorally.UseyourApplicationandDeclarationasachecklistandtakeeachiteminorder.Afterthehearing,ifthejudgeannounceshis/herordersfromthebench,yougetexactlyandonlywhatthejudgesays.Detailscangetlostintheshuffle,soifthejudgedidnotsayanythingaboutsomeparticularrequest,youdonothaveanorderforit.Whenthejudgeannouncesthedecision,ifanyorderyourequestedisnotmentioned,yourattorneymustrespectfullyremindthejudgethatyourequestedtheorder,andyouwouldlikeadecisiononit.Ifyourattorneyhasmissedthis,makesuretogentlyandquitlyremindthembeforethejudgemovesonfromyourcasetothenextcaseonthedocket.

Isyourvisitationtobesupervised?Ifitlookslikethejudgeisgoingtoordersupervisedvisitation,makesuretheorderincludesdetailsaboutwhopayshowmuchofthefeeandadeadlineissetforyourspousetocontactthesupervisor.Youdon’twanthim/hertodelayvisitationbynotcontactingthesupervisor.Gettingadetailed,specificorderwillhelpmakeyourvisitsmorelikelytoactuallyhappen.Getitontherecord.Ifyouhaveadifficultjudgeandwanttokeepopentheoptionoffilinganappeal,itiscrucialthatyourattorneyfileawrittenrequestforaStatementofDecisionBEFOREyourmatterisheardbythejudge.Thisrequiresthejudgetolayoutthereasoningandbasisfortheirdecision.Also,itisveryimportanttogeteverythingontherecord—thatis,withacourtreporterorvideocamerarecordingeveryword.Statementsinpapersfiledwiththecourt,includingattachmentstodeclarations,areontherecord.Lettersarenotpartoftherecord.Thingssaidinchamberswithoutareporterorinthehallwayarenothing—theyarenotpartoftherecord.Also,evidenceisoftenreturnedafterahearing.Ifyouwantafullrecordforappeal,youneedtocarefullyretainallevidenceoraskthecourtclerktoretaintheevidenceuntiltheorderbecomesfinal,whichis60daysaftertheorderwasmade.Ifyouwantletterstobecomeapartoftherecord,attachthemtoadeclarationandfilethemwiththecourtbeforeyourhearing.Itisnotunusualforpeopletohavevalidcomplaintsabouthowtheircasewashandled,yetnotbeabletoproveathingbecausetheproblemeventsoccurredofftherecord.Geteverythingontherecord!

Expired TROs

Youmightfaceaperiodoftimewhenyouareunprotected.Alltemporaryrestrainingordersendatthedateandtimeofthehearingandyoucan’tbecertainyourrestrainingorderswillbesignedatthehearing.Ifthejudgetakesthecaseundersubmission,orifordersneedtobepreparedforthejudge’ssignature,noordersareineffectuntilthewrittenordersaresignedandduringthattimeyouareunprotected.DependingonwhatTROsyouhad,youmighthavegoodreasontobeconcernedaboutthis.

At the end of the hearing Ifthejudgetakesthecase“undersubmission,”you’llgetadecisioninwritingandwhathappensnextiscoveredinchapter16.However,thejudgemightgivethedecisionverbally,inwhichcaseyoumustbereadytowritedowneverydetail.Ifyoumissedsomething,orifyourspouseortheirattorneyisthesorttocausetroubleoveralmostanything,makesureyourlawyerordersacopyofthepartofthetranscriptthatcontainsthejudge’sdecision.Beclearthatyoudonotwantafulltranscript.

Thereporterkeepstheword-for-wordrecordofyourhearing,nottheclerk.Someoneatyourcourtkeepstrackofthecourtreporters.Ifyourreporterhasgonetoanothercourtorretired,youmighthavetofindthispersontolocatethereporter.Ofcourse,itismucheasiertobuythevideoorarrangeforatranscriptimmediatelyafterthehearinginsteadoftryingtolocatethereporterlater.So,ifyouareinthekindofcasewhereadisputeseemslikely,makesureyourlawyerordersitbeforeyouleavethecourtroom.

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CHAPTER 16HOW TO DO ORDERS AFTER THE HEARING

Thedecisionmightbeannouncedorallyatthehearing,butifthejudgetakesthematter“undersub-mission,” awritten decisionwill be sent out later. If 90 days passwithout a decision, there’s aproblem.Yourattorneywillneedtoreachouttothecourt.

Who prepares the order and when? Oncethedecisionismade,thejudgecanpreparetheorderandserveitonthepartiesororderoneofthepartiestoprepareaproposedorderandtheotherpartywillhavetoeitheracceptthemaspreparedorobject.Nomatterifyouortheotherpartyisorderedtoprepareorders,youbothneedtofollowtheinstructionsinsectionAbelow.HowtodothepaperworkisdescribedinsectionB.

A.HowtogettheorderssignedB.PreparingthedocumentsC.Servingtheorders

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How to get the orders signed

WhenoneofthepartiesisorderedtoprepareordersafterahearingonanRFOorTRO,whatbothpartieshavetodoandwhentheyhavetodoitisdescribedinfairlyclearlanguageinCaliforniaRuleofCourt5.125,whichissetoutbelow.So,hereiswhatyouhavetodo.

Rule 5.125. Preparation, service, and submission of order after hearingThecourtmaypreparetheorderafterhearingandservecopiesonthepartiesor theirattorneys.Morelikely,thecourtwillorderoneofthepartiesorattorneystopreparetheproposedorderasprovidedintheserules.Thecourtmayalsomodifythetimelines...whenappropriatetothecase. (a) In general

Theterm“party”or“parties” includesbothself-representedpersonsandpersonsrepresentedbyanattorneyofrecord.....

(b) Submission of proposed order after hearing to the courtWithin10calendardaysofthecourthearing,thepartyorderedtopreparetheproposedordermust:(1)Servetheproposedordertotheotherpartyforapproval;or(2)Iftheotherpartydidnotappearatthehearingorthematterwasuncontested,submittheproposedorderdirectlytothecourtwithouttheotherparty’sapproval.Acopymustalsobeservedtotheotherpartyorattorney.(c) Other party approves or rejects proposed order after hearing(1)Within20calendardaysfromthecourthearing,theotherpartymustreviewtheproposedordertodetermineifitaccuratelyreflectstheordersmadebythecourtandtakeoneofthefollowingactions: (A)Approvetheproposedorderbysigningandservingitonthepartyorattorneywhodraftedtheproposedorder;or (B) State any objections to the proposed order and prepare an alternate proposed order.Anyalternateproposedorderpreparedby theobjectingpartymust list thefindingsandorders in thesamesequenceastheproposedorder.Afterservinganyobjectionsandthealternateproposedordertothepartyorattorney,bothpartiesmustfollowtheprocedurein(e).

Note: Not liking the decision is not a valid reason to refuse to sign the proposed order. Refusal is only valid if it is believed that the orders do not correctly state the judge’s decision.

(2)Iftheotherpartydoesnotrespondtotheproposedorderwithin20calendardaysofthecourthearing, thepartyordered toprepare theproposedordermust submit theproposedorder to the courtwithoutapprovalwithin25calendardaysofthehearingdate.Thecorrespondencetothecourtandtotheotherpartymustinclude: (A)Thedatetheproposedorderwasservedontheotherparty; (B)Theotherparty’sreasonsfornotapprovingtheproposedorder,ifknown;(C)Thedateandresultsofanyattemptstomeetandconfer,ifrelevant;and(D)Arequestthatthecourtsigntheproposedorder(d) Failure to prepare proposed order after hearing(1)Ifthepartyorderedbythecourttopreparetheproposedorderfailstoservetheproposedordertotheotherpartywithin10calendardaysfromthecourthearing,theotherpartymaypreparetheproposedorderandserveittotheparty...whomthecourtorderedtopreparetheproposedorder. (2)Within5calendardaysfromserviceoftheproposedorder, thepartywhohadbeenorderedtopreparetheordermustreviewtheproposedordertodetermineifitaccuratelyreflectstheordersmadebythecourtandtakeoneofthefollowingactions: (A)Approvetheproposedorderbysigningandservingittothepartyorattorneywhodraftedtheproposedorder;or

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(B) State any objections to the proposed order and prepare an alternate proposed order.Anyalternateproposedorderbytheobjectingpartymust list thefindingsandorders in thesamesequenceastheproposedorder.Afterservinganyobjectionsandthealternateproposedordertotheotherpartyorattorney,bothpartiesmustfollowtheprocedurein(e).(3)Ifthepartydoesnotrespondasdescribedin(2),thepartywhopreparedtheproposedordermustsubmittheproposedordertothecourtwithoutapprovalwithin5calendardays.Thecoverlettertothecourtandtotheotherpartyorattorneymustinclude: (A)Thefactsrelatingtothepreparationoftheorder,includingthedatetheproposedorderwasdueandthedatetheproposedorderwasservedtothepartywhomthecourtorderedtodrafttheproposedorder; (B)Theparty’sreasonsfornotpreparingorapprovingtheproposedorder,ifknown; (C)Thedateandresultsofanyattemptstomeetandconfer,ifrelevant;and (D)Arequestthatthecourtsigntheproposedorder.(e) Objections to proposed order after hearing [meet and confer](1)Ifapartyobjectstotheproposedorderafterhearing,bothpartieshave10calendardaysfol-lowingserviceoftheobjectionsandthealternateproposedorderafterhearingtomeetandconferbytelephoneorinpersontoattempttoresolvethedisputedlanguage.(2)Ifthepartiesreachanagreement,theproposedfindingsandorderafterhearingmustbesub-mittedtothecourtwithin10calendardaysfollowingthemeeting.(3)Ifthepartiesfailtoresolvetheirdisagreementaftermeetingandconferring,eachpartywillhave10calendardaysfollowingthedateof themeetingtosubmit to thecourtandserveoneachother thefollowingdocuments: (A)AproposedFindingsandOrderAfterHearing(FL-340)(andanyformattachments); (B)Acopyoftheminuteorderorofficialtranscriptofthecourthearing;and (C)Acoverletterthatexplainstheobjections,describesthedifferencesinthetwoproposedorders,referencestherelevantsectionsofthetranscriptorminuteorder,andincludesthedateandresultsofthemeet-and-conferconferences.(f ) Unapproved order signed by the court; requirementsBeforesigningaproposedordersubmittedtothecourtwithouttheotherparty’sapproval,thecourtmustfirstcomparetheproposedorderafterhearingtotheminuteorder;officialtranscript,ifavailable;orothercourtrecord.(g) Service of order after hearing signed by the courtAftertheproposedorderissignedbythecourt,thecourtclerkmustfiletheorder.Thepartywhopreparedtheordermustserveanendorsed-filedcopytotheotherparty.


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Preparing the documents

The forms and attachments

OrdersarepreparedbyusingFL-340FindingsandOrderAfterHearing,pluswhicheverorderattachmentsarerelevanttotheorders. Be preciseForalmostallorders,yourlawyermaycheckboxesandfillindetailstocompleteorderformsthatarerelevanttoyourcase.Butifyouhaveauniqueorderthatisnotcoveredonaform,yourlawyerwillhavetotypethatorderonanattachmenttotheform,inwhichcasethewordingmustbeprecise,asyoudonotwantanorderthatissubjecttomorethanoneinterpretation.Yourordersmustmatchexactlythedecisionsthejudgemade,otherwiseitwillbereturned.Ifindoubtastoanydetail,yourlawyercancontactcourtreporterandbuyapartialtranscriptofthehearingtogetthejudge’sordersexactly.Insomecourts,thecourtclerkmayalsoprovide,uponrequest,acopyofthe“smoothminutes”(acopyoftheclerk’snotesontheordermade).

Serving the orders

Iftheotherpartywasnotpresentwhenthedecisionwasannouncedincourt,orifthedecisionwassentbymail,theninordertoenforcethejudge’sorders,whentheordersarefinallysignedbythejudge,theentireorderpackagemustbeservedonyourspouse’sattorney,orpersonallyonyourspouseifhe/sheisunrepresentedbyalawyer.

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CHAPTER 17DISCOVERY –formal requests for information

Howtocollectinformationwithoutusinglegalformsandproceduresisdiscussedinchapter8.Ifyoutriedthosemethodsandstillneedcertaininformation,younowturntolegalactionswediscussbelow.Ineachsection,wealsodiscusshowtorespondifthatparticulartypeofdocumentisservedonyou.

Do formaldiscoveryearly.Acommonmistakeby lawyers is towait too long tobegin formaldiscovery.Somedothisinexpectationofasettlement,andothersjustprocrastinate.Butwhenacaseisnearthetrialdate,itistoolatetododiscovery.Discoverymustbecompletedby30daysbeforethefirsttrialdatesetinyourcase.Ifthetrialispostponed,thediscoverycutoffisnotalsopostponed.If,forexample,yousendinterrogatories(sectionB)toyourspousebymail,yourspousehas35daystoanswer.Ifhe/shedoesnotanswerorgivesincompleteorevasiveanswers,youneedtofileamotiontocompelandyourspouseisentitledtoatleast16courtbusinessdays’noticeplustimeafteranyhearingtoprepareanswers.So,justthisonepartofdiscoverycouldrequiretwotothreemonthsand,ifyouhavetocompleteitby30daysbeforetrial,youmuststartalmostahalfyearbeforethetrialtoaccomplishthisonethingalone.So,startnow!

A.RequestsforproductionB.WritteninterrogatoriesC.DepositionsubpoenasforbusinessrecordsD.Depositions

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Okay,thereisanexceptiontothe“startnow”rule.Petitionercan’tstartdiscoverywithinthefirst30daysafter serviceof theSummonsandPetition.However,Petitionercan serveRespondentwithasubpoenatobringdocumentstothefirstcourthearingonaRFOorTRO(chapter15B).

IfyourspousehasnotfiledaResponse.IfyouarePetitionerthenyouonlydodiscoveryafteryourspousefilesaResponse.Ifyourspousedoesnotrespondandletsthedivorcegobydefault,normallynodiscoveryoccurs—youjustgotocourtandgetwhateveryouaskforwithinreason.Aproblemcanoccurifyoucan’tgivethejudgeenoughinformationtomakeanorder.Themosttypicalexampleiswhenyouwantsupportandthusneedtoproveyourspouse’sactualincome.Youcouldsimplystateinadeclarationthatwhenyouweremarried,yourspousewasinXoccupationearning$Ypermonthandhe/sheisstilldoingthat,probablywitharaise,sohis/herincomemustbeatleast$Y.However,ifyouhavezeroinformationaboutyourspouse’sincomeandneverfiledjointincometaxreturnstogether,youwillhavetosubpoenayourspouse’semployer(seechapter15)tocometothedefaulthearingwithrecordstoshowyourspouse’swages.

Todivideunknownproperty,suchasbankaccounts,youcanobtainaJudgmentdirectingthatallaccountseitherpartyhadwithanyfinancialinstitutionasofdateofseparation(specifyingthedate)shallbedivided50/50includinginterest,andaccountingformarketfluctuation.ThenyouwillbedoingyourdiscoveryafterentryofJudgment.

Donotusediscoveryforharassment.Youshoulddoformaldiscoveryonlyforinformationthatyoureallyneed.Donotrequestfilingcabinetsfullofpapersjusttoharassortoventanger.Therearethreereasonsforthis.First,ifyoulaterhavetofileamotiontohavethecourtenforcediscovery,thejudgemightdenyeverythingifitwassobroadastoappearoppressiveandburdensome.Second,thejudgecanmakeyoupaysanctionsorattorneyfeestoyourspouseifitappearsyouwereengaginginharassment.Finally,itisnotunusualforaspousetochangethenamesonthepapersandre-sendtheentirerequestbacktoyou,soyoucouldfindyourselfburdenedbytheverysamerequestsyoucreated.

Startwithaletter.Theeasiest,cheapestwaytogetinformationistosimplyaskforit.Ifhe/shecooperates,discoverycanbeinexpensive.Ifyourspouseissecretiveandcontrolling,writingaletterisprobablygoingtobeawasteoftime,butyounowhaveawrittenrecordshowingthatyourspousehasbeenstonewallingandthiscanbeusedlaterifyouaskthecourttoorderyourspousetopayyourattorneyfeesincurredinobtaininginformationthroughmoreformalmeans.Thebestapproachistosetashortdeadlineforsendingtheinformationyourequest—liketwoweeksfromthedateoftheletter.Waitjustthatlong,thenstartformaldiscoveryasdescribedbelow.Thisway,youshowgood-faitheffortnottoincurattorneyfees.Ifyouhavealawyerwhowritesletterafterletterunsuccessfullybeggingyourspouseforinformation,getanotherlawyer.Thisisnotthetimeorplacetogrovel.

Whattodofirst.Generally,youdothecheapestdiscoveryfirstandhopethatyouwon’thavetodo thecostlykind.Startwithrequests forproductionandwritten interrogatories. Ifyourspousestartsstonewalling,itmightbeeasiertogetinformationfromanothersource,soyoudo“depositionsubpoenas”togetrecordsfrombanksandemployers.Themostexpensivediscoveryistakingyourspouse’sdeposition.Depositionshaveanadvantageoverinterrogatoriesinthattheanswersyougetaremorespontaneous.Ifyousendinterrogatoriesandyourspousehasalawyer,thelawyerwillprobablywriteorheavilyedittheanswers,butwithorwithoutalawyer,writtenanswerscanbeevasiveornarrowlydefined.Indepositions,yourlawyerasksyourspousedirectquestionsindetailandyourspousemustrespondonthespot.Youcanaskthesamequestionmanydifferentwaystotrytoeliminateevasion.


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Theorderofdiscoveryistypically:1.Requestsforproduction2.Writteninterrogatories3.Depositionsubpoenasforrecords4.Personaldepositions5.Subpoenastobringrecordstocourt Responding to discovery requests. In each section,we discuss how to respond to that type ofdiscovery.Ifyoufindyoucannotmeetthetimelimit,yourlawyermayneedtoobtainanextensionofthetimetorespond.Ifso,youmustactbeforethedeadlineruns,otherwise,youwillhavetousethe“Oops”motionunderCodeofCivilProceduresection473describedattheendofchapter11.Youdon’twanttofindyourselfinthatposition.Ifyoucannotmeetatimelimit,beforethedeadlineruns,either(1)yourlawyershouldwritetoyourspousesattorneyandgetanextensionoftime,and,ifsuccessful,writealetterconfirmingthatyourtimeisextendedtoaspecificdate,or(2)ifunsuccessful,fileaRequestForOrderrequestingmoretimetorespond.

Requests for production

Becauseyourspouseisapartytothecase(ofcourse)youcanusethismethodtoinspectandcopyrelevantdocumentsinyourspouse’spossession.YourattorneywillmailaRequestforProductiontoyourspouse’sattorney.SeeFigure17.1asanexample.AnExhibitAisattached,listingallthethingsyouwant.SeeFigures17.2and17.3asanexample,showingavarietyofthingsyoumightaskfor.Todeterminewhetheranypropertyhasbeenmisappropriatedbyyourspouse(suchasifhe/shetookfundsfromabankaccount),youneed toseeaccountbalancesbeforeyourspousebeganfiddlingaroundwith them.Youshouldaskforstatementsfromtheperiodstartingwiththepresent,backtoatleastayearago,orevenbetter,atleastonemonthbeforeyouthinkyourspousethoughttherewouldbeadivorce.

Ifyourspouseisself-employedandyouwantbusinessrecordstoshowhis/herincomeortoassessthevalueofthebusiness,sendingthebusinessaDepositionSubpoenais,ineffect,thesamethingasaRequesttoProduce.TheRequesttoProduceiseasier,soyourattorneymayuseitfirstandseewhatturnsup.TheexampleExhibitAshowninFigure17.4showsarequestforemploymentrecords.

Timeandplace.Inyourrequest,youhavetosetadateforproductionatleast35daysaway.TheCodeofCivilProcedure,section2031.030,requiresonlythatproductionbemadeata“reasonableplace.”Youwantaplacewherecopiescanbemade,sosinceyouhavealawyer,productionwillbemadeatyourlawyer’soffice.Chancesareyourspousewillrespondbysendingcopies,especiallyifrepresentedbyanattorney.

Whatyoucanrequestandhowtorequestit.Youcanrequesttocopyanyitemthatisrelevanttoyourcase,includingdocuments,writings,electronicallystoredinformation(ESI),audiotapes,videotapes,photographs,etc.Themostcommonlyrequesteditemsarebankstatements,IRAand401kstatements,stock accounts, credit card statements, deeds to real estate, closing statements for realty, tax returns,paycheckstubs,W-2forms,and1099forms.Yourspousedoesnothavetoproducethingsoverwhichhe/shehasnocustodyorcontrol.Ontheotherhand,ifhe/shecangetacopywithaphonecallandyoucan’t,thenhe/shemustmakethephonecalltohis/heraccountant,bank,attorneyorwhoever.Justgivingdocumentstoanattorneydoesnotbringthemwithintheattorney-clientprivilege;youcanstillgetacopy.Similarly,“Thosedocumentsarewithmyaccountant”isnotanexcusefornonproduction.

The Request for Production must be clear enough that your spouse can tell exactly what you are requesting. If you want ESI, be sure to specify the form in which you want it to be produced: e.g., “in a

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form that is usable on a typical home computer using readily available consumer software.” (See Fig. 17.3). You cannot ask for so many records that it will be unfair, such as all bank statements and all canceled checks during a 20-year marriage. You should specify a time frame that is reasonably related to issues in your case. It is as if you were shooting at a target. If the target is too small (your request is too specific and limited), you will probably miss it. But if the target is too broad, the judge will not make the other side produce it. You have to try for a happy medium request.

Proofofservice.YourattorneywillhavesomeoneservetheRequestonyourspouse(orspouse’sattorney)bymail,signaproofofservicebymail,andattachacopyoftheproof(signedorunsigned)totheRequestbeingserved.Proofsofservicehavingtodowithdiscoveryarenotfiledwiththecourtunlessadisputearises,whentheyareattachedtothemotiontoenforcethediscovery.

VerifiedResponseduein30days.Youareentitledtoawrittenresponse,underoath,fromyourspouse.Ifyourspousedidnotsignaverification(Figure17.7)swearingthatthecontentsofthedocumentaretrue,andattachittotheResponsetoRequesttoProduce,theResponseisinadequateandyoucannotrelyonit.Theresponsemustbeservedonyourattorney30daysafteryouservedyourRequest,or35daysifmailed.Iftheresponseislate,youcouldchoosetoletthetechnicaldefectgo.However,ifthereisnoresponse,orifitisunverifiedorotherwiseinadequate,youcanfileamotiontocompelproductionortocompeltheverification(seesectionB,below).

Timelimittomakemotiontocompelproduction.IfyourspousecompletelyignorestheRequesttoProduceoriftheResponseisnotverified,thereisnotimelimittofileamotiontocompel.Butifhe/shemakesanevasiveorinadequateproductioninaverifiedResponse,youhaveonly45daysaftertheinadequateResponsewas served inwhich to file and serve amotion to force him/her to produce anadequateResponse.Ifyouwanttoserveyourmotionbymail,youmustdosowithin40daysfromthedateyouwereservedwiththeResponse.Makingamotiontocompelproductionisdiscussedinchapter18.

Prerequisitetomakingmotiontocompelproduction.Beforemakingthemotion,yourlawyermustwritetheothersidealetter(Figure17.8asanexample)explainwhytheResponsewasinadequateanddemandfurtherresponse.Iftheletterdoesnotproduceanadequateresponse,youneedtofileamotiontocompelproduction(chapter18,sectionE).Besuretheorderincludesadeadlineforproduction,suchassayingthattherecordsshouldbeproducedwithin20daysafterthehearing.

How to respond to a Request to Produce TheCodeofCivilProcedureprescribestheexactlanguagethatyoumustuseinrespondingtoaRequesttoProduce.Thereasonthelanguageissospecificisthat,overtheyearshoardsofcleverlawyershaveattemptedtoevadelegitimaterequests.

Each itemof the requestmust be responded to separately, and there are only three acceptableresponses:(1)willcomply;(2)inabilitytocomply,whichrequiresaparticularlydetailedstatement;and(3) a legal objection that, for some stated reason, there is noobligation toproduce the item.Eachofthesethreeresponseshasexactlanguagethatmustbeused.Thesampleresponse(Figure17.5)containsexamplesofthepreciselanguagethatshouldused.Itisnotacceptable,forexample,tosay,“Ihavelookedthroughmydocuments,andIhaveproducedeverythingthatIfound.”Thestatuterequiresmuchmorethanthat,andtheformsinthisbookwillhelpyoucomplywiththelegalrequirementsforthewordingofyourresponse.

Mustbeservedbymailorpersonally.YourResponse toaRequest toProducemustbeservedontheinitiatingparty,andacopyoftheProofofServiceshouldbesenttotherecipientandtheoriginal(continuedafterfigures)keptinyourfileattachedtoyourresponse.


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Yourresponsemustbeservedeither(1)personallywithin30daysafterthedatetheRequestwasservedonyou,or(2)within25daysifyouserveitbymail.

Yourresponsemustbeverified.Averificationisastatementunderoaththatwhatyouhavesaidistrue(Figure17.7).Aresponsemadewithoutaverificationislegallythesameasnoresponse,sodon’tforgettodotheverification.

Burdensomerequests.Ifyourspouserequestssomethingridiculouslikeeverysinglecanceledcheckfroma20-yearmarriage(assumingthetwoofyouarenotwealthy),youshouldobject.Ofcourse,theotherthingtodoistobringtherecordstotheplacewheretheyaredue,andrefusetoleavethem.Onewaytopunishpeoplewhomakeburdensomerequestsistogivethemeverythingtheyareaskingforandinterprettherequestasbroadlyaspossible.

Motionforprotectiveorders.Litigantsandtheirlawyershavebeenknowntoabusethediscoveryprocess,usingitforharassment,moretobeattheotherpartyintosubmissionratherthanforactualdis-covery.Anytimeyoureceiveadiscoveryrequest,youcanfileamotionforaprotectiveorder,butIthinkthatisunnecessarilycomplicated.BettertocomplywithreasonablepartsoftheirdiscoveryandputyourobjectionstounreasonablediscoveryinyourResponsiveDeclaration,thenwaittoseewhattheydo.Ifyourspousefilesamotiontocompeldiscovery,youcanresistitasdescribedinthenextchapter.

Written interrogatories

Interrogatoriesarewrittenquestionsthatyoucansendtoyourspousewhichhe/sheisrequiredtoanswerinwritingunderoath.Sometimesyousimplywantsomeanswers;othertimesyouareseekinginformationthatwillhelpyouprepareforfurtherdiscovery,suchasdepositionsorsubpoenas.

Forminterrogatories.TheJudicialCouncilhaspreparedstandardforminterrogatoriesthatyoucanserveonyourspouse(Figure17.10)toaskstandarddivorcequestions.YousimplyputanXintheboxofeachquestionyouwantanswered.IfyouchecktheitemaskingyourspousetofilloutaScheduleofAssetsandDebts,youmustincludeablankcopyofthatformwhenyouservetheinterrogatories.

Speciallydraftedinterrogatories.Inadditiontotheprintedforminterrogatories,youcanalsosendupto35questionsthatarenotalreadyincludedintheforminterrogatories.Eachsubpartofeachquestioncountsasaseparateinterrogatory.Ifyouneedtoaskmorethan35specialquestions,youmustdoadeclarationexplainingthenecessity(Figure17.15).

Ifyoudospecialinterrogatories,themainthingistokeepthemsimpleandbreakthemintosmall,precisebitsthatareunambiguous.Forexample,ifyouask,“Doyouhaveanybankaccounts?”yournextquestionis,“Ifyouranswertotheprecedinginterrogatoryisaffirmative,astoeachsuchaccount,statethenameofthebank,theaddressofthebank,andtheaccountnumber.”Ifyouask,“OnMay17,1999,at6:00PM,didyoucometothehomeandremovethestereoandTV?”youmightgettheanswer,“No,”simplybecausethepersonwasthereat6:01PM,not6:00.Thatquestionhastoomanyparts.Itneedstobegin,“Atanytimeafter(dateofseparation)didyoueverenterthehomeat(address)?Ifso,astoeachsuchinstance:(a)statethedateandtimeofsuchentry;and,(b)listanyitemsyoure-movedwhenyouleftthepremises.”

Answers Answersaredue35daysfromthedatetheinterrogatoriesaremailed.Ifyoudon’tgetawritten,verifiedresponseontime,yourlawyershouldimmediatelysendalettertotheothersiderequestinganswerswithinaspecifiednumberofdays.Ifyoustillgetnoresponse,fileamotiontocompel(chapter18).

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Verifiedresponseandwhyyouinsistonit.Averificationisastatementunderoaththatadocumentistrue,meaningthatanyfalsestatementswouldbeperjury.Onehopesaspousewillhesitatetolieunderoath and face possible penalties.Without verification, the answers to the interrogatories are nomorelegallysignificantthananinformalstatementinaletter.

Motiontocompel.Ifyourspouserefusestorespondorgivesincompleteorevasiveanswers,orfailstoprovideasignedverification,youshouldfileamotiontocompelanswers,whichisdiscussedinchapter18.TheCodeofCivilProcedureprovidesthatamotiontocompelanswersmustbemadewithin45daysofanyanswersyoureceivediftheanswerswereverified.Ifyoudidn’tgetanyanswersatall,butwerejustignored,orittheresponsewasnotverified,youdon’thaveatimelimit,butyoushouldprobablymakethemotionpromptlyifyoucan.

How to respond to interrogatories Respondingtointerrogatoriescanbefairlysimple.Youuseafacepage(Figure17.17),typeyouranswerstoeveryquestionusingaformatsimilartotheinterrogatoriesyoureceived(butanyclearformatwillwork),andattachtheverificationform(Figure17.7).Yourresponsewillbeservedbymailandgetaproofofservicewillbeprepared.Themainthingistoanswerthequestions,allofthequestions,andonlythequestionsthatareasked.Don’tvolunteeranyinformationthatwasnotrequested.Itcan’thelpyou,anditmaygetyouintotrouble.Thisisnotthetimetostartspewingopinionsandrelatedorunrelateddetails.Ifaquestioncallsfora“yes”or“no”answer,andyoudon’tfeelcomfortablewiththat,youcanaddaone-sentenceexplanation,butdon’tgetcarriedaway.Ifthequestionasksforprivilegedmaterial,suchasyourprivatemedicalinformation,yourcounselinginformationorwhatanattorneytoldyou,youobjectandstatethelegalbasisoftheobjection.

Deposition subpoenas for business records

Asubpoenaisacourtorderdirectingawitnesstoappeartogivetestimony,eitheratanofficeforadepositionorincourt.Whenthesubpoenadirectsthewitnesstoproducerecordsorthings,itiscalleda“subpoenaducestecum”(ducestecumisLatinfor“withyou,”thatis,bringsomethingtotheappearance).

The“DepositionSubpoenaforBusinessRecords”isaspecialformofsubpoenathatisacheapandeffectivewaytogetroutinebusinessrecordsfromathirdparty.Youcanget,forexample,bankrecordsoremployerrecordsregardingwages,retirementbenefits(includingstockoptionsandstocksavingsplan),anddeductionsfor401(k)orothersavingsplans.Ifyourspousequitworkingforacompany,youcanstillgethis/herpersonnelfile.Inlargecompanies,iftheyhaveseparatepayrollandpersonneldepartments,assumeyouhavetodoaseparatesubpoenaforeachdepartment.MuchaboutusingadepositionsubpoenaisdefinedbyCodeofCivilProcedure(CCP).Speaktoyourattorneyaboutthisifyoudecidetouseadepositionsubpoena.

OnlyinsideCalifornia.YoucannotsubpoenarecordsoutsideCaliforniaunlessyouareusingthebusinessrecordssubpoenathatdoesnotrequireanappearance.Speaktoyourlawyeraboutyouroptionsifthisisthecase.

The“deposition.”Intheforms,allreferencetoadepositionisactuallyafiction,ahistoricalartifactoflegalevolution.Thereisnodeposition.Forthisparticularformofsubpoena,thedepositionisonlythedatethedocumentsthatyousubpoenaedmustbeproduced.

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Howsubpoenasare issued. Inorder tocommandsomeone tobringdocuments tocourtoratadeposition,includingarecords-onlydeposition,aSubpoenamustbe“issued”bytheclerk,thatis,stampedwiththesealofthecourttogiveitthepowerofthecourt.Subpoenasare“issuedinblank,”whichmeansyoucangetblankformsfromtheusualoutletthatprovidescourtformsinyourarea.Butsinceyouhaveanattorney,he/shecanissuetheSubpoenamerelybysigningit,withouthavingtoinvolvethecourtclerk.

Understand the timing.Before you start,make sure you understand the timing (deadlines) forservingthesubpoenaandgettingdocumentsinresponse.

a. Notice of Taking Deposition—Records OnlySeeFigure17.18asanexample.Yourattorneywillchoosedatesthatallowyoutocomfortablycomplywithdeadlines.Themostcommonerrorsare(1)forgettingtoservetheconsumer/employee5daysbeforeservingthewitnessandtheopposingparty(whomaybetheconsumer/employeeandthenyouonlyservehim/heronce)and(2)forgettingthatasubpoenamustalwaysbepersonallyserved,soitcannotbemailedtothewitness.However,itcanbemailedtotheconsumer/employee.

b.Interrogatoriesforcustodianofrecords(thewitness)Youareusingthissubpoenatoobtainrecordsthatyoucanuseincourtwithouthavingtobringawitnesstocourt.Thatwouldbesimpleandinexpensive,butthereisonlyonewaytogetrecordsthatcanbeintroducedintoevidenceatahearingortrialwithoutthepresenceofawitness.Youmusthavethecustodianofrecordscopytherecordsanddeliverthemtoyoualongwithadeclarationthatmeetsallthelegalrequirementstoauthenticatetherecordsandtoshowthattherecordsarewithinthebusiness-recordsexceptiontothehearsayrule.

See,asanexample,Figure17.19,whichhasbeenverycarefullypreparedtomeetlegalrequirements.Documentscanbeexcludedatcourtifthecustodianofrecordsreturnstheformandfailstofillineverysinglequestion(andsaying“notapplicable”isnotacceptable).TheInterrogatoriesforthecustodianofrecordsareveryimportantandmustbecompliedwithineverydetail.Thecustodianofrecords,byfillingoutthisform,becomesawitness.

c.DepositionSubpoena—BusinessRecordsSeeFigure17.21asanexample.

Thedepositionofficer. Item1wouldhave thenameof thedepositionofficer.Ata regulardeposition,thiswouldbethecourtreporter.However,arecords-onlydepositionwillnothaveameetingoracourtreporter.Businessesareusedtohavingprofessionalphotocopiershandlethis,buttosavemoneyyoucanfirstaskthatrecordsbemaileddirectlytoyou.Mostbusinesseswillcomply,butsomemightinsistonaprofessionalphotocopier.Ratherthanfightthem,reissuethesubpoenanamingaprofessional.

Where?Boxaisusuallychecked,andalthoughitsays“delivering,”businesseswillmailthedocumentsorsendthembyacourier.

Recordstobeproduced.Thetwotypesofrecordsthatyouaremostlikelytorequestarerecordsoffinancialinstitutionsandemploymentrecords.Astohowtodraftalistofitemstobeproduced,youcanapplythesamegeneralrulesdiscussedinsectionA,above,foraRequesttoProduce.AlsoseeFigures17.2–17.4.

Stickysituation.Ifyourspouseisemployedinasmallcompanyorisveryhighupinabigcompanyorhasfriendsinthepayrolldepartment,thecompanymightignoreorresistyourrequest,inwhichcaseyouwillhavetofileamotiontocompel(chapter18).However,iftheyarereallyresisting,youcouldendupwithacoupleofroundsofhasslingwithmotions.

Warning:Youcan’tbeyourowndepositionofficer—youshouldn’tbe(anddon’tallowyourspouse’sattorneytobe!).AcommonerrormadebyFamilyLawattorneysisdesignatingthemselvesasaDepositionofficer,ortheirownofficeastheplaceforproductionofdocumentsresponsivetoaSubpoenaforBusinessRecords.ThisviolatestheCodeofCivilProcedureandit’sabadidea.

ADepositionOfficeristheretoconfirmwhatdiscoveryhasbeenproducedinresponsetoaDepositionSubpoena,andifnecessary to testify to that. Asaninterestedpartyyoucannot takeonthatrole,andneithercantheopposingpartyortheirattorney. d.Consumer/EmployeeNoticeInorder toprotectprivacy, the lawhasspecialrequirements ifyouwant toobtainpersonalrecordsofa consumeror employment records. In either case, if the requested records are for anyoneother thanyourself,youmustlettheconsumer/employeeknowwhatyouaredoingbyhavingsomeonepersonallyserveanotice(Figure17.22)5daysbeforeyouactuallysubpoenatherecords.Almostanythingyouarelikelytosubpoenawillbeaconsumer/employeerecordexceptforpolicereportsorthepersonalrecordsofthewitnessbeingsubpoenaed,likeacalendarorjournal.Foreverythingelse,youhavetogivenoticeifthedocumentsconcernanyoneotherthanyourself.

Bates-numberdiscoveryyouproduceandreceive.YourattorneywillmostlikelyBates-number(placeidentifyingnumbersand/ordate/time-marksonimagesanddocuments)everydiscoverydocumentyourproduce,andreferencethedocumentsandBates-numbersinthedocumentaccompanyingyourdiscovery.Thispreventstheopposingsidefromclaimingyoudidn’tproducediscoverywheninfactyoudid.Likewise,youshouldrequestthatalldiscoveryproducedfromtheotherside,orbythirdparties,beBates-numbered. Thispresents theopposingpartyand thirdparties fromclaiming theyproduceddiscoverydocumentswheninfacttheydidnot.Iftheothersideorthird-partyrefusestoBates-number,useanattorneyserviceasareceiver.

Usinganattorneyserviceasareceiverfordiscovery.Ifyouaredealingwithaduplicitousopposingpartyorattorney,Itwouldbewisetouseanattorneyserviceforreceiptof importantdiscovery,eitherfromtheopposingpartyorwhenproducedbyyou.TheattorneyserviceshouldBates-numberalldocumentsreceivedandkeepacopyofwhatwasproduced.

Depositions

You’ve probably seen depositions onTV shows.The parties and their attorneysmeet face-to-faceinthepresenceofacourtreporterforquestion-and-answertestimonythatistakenunderoath.Itistypicallydoneintheofficeofoneoftheattorneys,orinarentedorborrowedconferencespaceif theinitiatingpartydoesnothavecounsel.Itisverysimilartotestimonyincourt,butthereisnojudgepresent.Afterwards,thetestimonyistypedupsoitcanbereviewedbythepartiesandusedincourt.

Depositionsareveryexpensive.Inadditiontoyourlawyer’stime,youneedacourtreporterpresentwhowillprepareatranscriptofeverywordspokenatthedeposition.Ifyouwantacopy,youmusttellthecourtreporterattheend.Atypicalcostatthetimeofthisbookisabout$6.50perpagefortheoriginalandabout$2.50foracopy.Atypicaldepositioncancover300pagesormore,makingitthemostexpensivebookyouwilleverown!Soyoumustprepareforhighcostsbeforeyoustartadeposition.Thisiswhydepositionsshouldbeusedonlywhentheinformationcannotbeobtainedinsomelessexpensivemannerorwhenthereissomeotherstrategicreasonjustifyingitsuse.

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Oneshot.Youcanonlycompelawitnessorapartytosubmittoonedepositionthatcangenerallytakenomorethan7hoursunlessorderedbythecourtorimpededbythewitnessorexternalcircumstance.Ifyourspousehaspreviously takenonedeposition fromanyperson,he/shecannot takea secondonewithoutagoodreason,andyoucanstopanyattempttodoit.Thisisonereasonwhyyoushouldpreparewellbeforetakingadepositionasyouprobablywon’tgetasecondchance.

Whosedeposition?Youcantakethedepositionofyourspouseandanyonewhoisawitnesstoanythingrelevanttoyourdivorce.Forexample,youmightwantthetestimonyofapersonwhowouldknowhowaself-employedspouseisdivertingmoneyfromhis/herbusinesstopersonaluse,oryoucouldtakethedepositionofyourspouse’slive-inmateorroommateifyouhaveacustody/visitationissue.

Wheretodoit.Theplacewhereawitness’depositionistakenmustbewithin75milesofwherethewitnesslives.Ifyourspousehasalawyer,youcanschedulethedepositionattheattorney’soffice,butyoumightfeelatadisadvantagethere,soyoumightwanttoarrangeforaconferenceroominsomeplacethatrentsmeetingspacetothepublic,oraconvenienceofficecenter.Whereveryoudoit,ifdocumentshavebeensubpoenaedtothedeposition,itcouldbeimportanttohaveaccesstoacopier.

Whomaybepresent.Bothparties (thehusband and thewife) are entitled tobepresent at thedepositionaswellas their lawyers. Incasessuchas those involvingdomesticabuse,asupportpersonwouldbeallowedtositattheconferencetablewithanabusedspouse.Anyonecanattendadeposition,justasanyonecanattendapublictrial.Ontheotherhand,apartymayfileamotiontothecourtrequestinganorderthatdesignatedpersons,otherthanthepartiestotheactionandtheirlawyers,beexcludedfromattending thedeposition.The judgewoulddecidesuchamotiononan individualbasis,basedonpasthistories,presentcircumstances,andthetypesofissuesinvolved.Certainlyiftherewereanissueofchildmolestation,thejudgemightreadilyexcludepersonsotherthantheparties.Or,ifonespousehasbeenabused,andnowtheabuserwantstoexcludeasupportperson,thejudgewouldhopefullyseethroughthistacticandrefuseit.

Getacourtreporter.Youmustarrangeforacourtreportertorecordthedeposition.

Videoandaudiotaping.Theremustalwaysbeacourtreporteratadeposition(unlessitisarecords-onlydeposition,discussedbelow),butyoucanalsovideotapeoraudiotapethedepositionifyouputthatrequestintothenoticeoftakingdeposition.Thetapingofadepositionmightcurbalotofbadbehaviorthatwouldnotbepickedupbyawrittentranscript,suchasshoutingandnastytonesofvoice.Peopletendtobehavebetterinfrontofacameraormicrophone.Also,youmightcatchsometellingeye-contactbetweenwitnessandattorney.Ifyoudecidetotape,youwillneedaseparatepersonpresenttohandlethevideooraudioequipment.

Bring documents. If you also want to compel your spouse to bring certain documents to thedeposition,youwilluseeither(1)anoticetoattorneyinlieuofsubpoena(Figure17.27),whichcanbeusedonlyifyourspousehasanattorneyofrecord,or(2)aDepositionSubpoena(Figure17.25)ifyourspousehasnoattorney.Thenoticetoattorneyinlieuofsubpoenacanbemailedtotheattorney25daysbeforethedeposition,butthesubpoenamustbeservedpersonallyonyourspouse.

Payup.Whenyoutakethedepositionofanexpertwitness,youmustbereadytopayanexpertwitnessfeebythebeginningofthedeposition.Thewitnesscanalsoinsistonbeingpaidforacoupleofhoursofpreparationforthedeposition.

1. How to take someone’s depositionHerearesometipsonthepracticalaspectsoftakingadeposition,knowntoexperiencedtrialattorneys,


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thatyouprobablycan’tfindinanyotherbook.Althoughitwillbeyourattorneywhowillbetakingtheactualdeposition,itwillserveyouwelltoknowwhatisgoingonandhowitistobedone.

Therearetwoapproachestoadeposition,butyoucanonlyuseone:(a)scareyourspouseintosettlingbyaskingallthedifficultquestionsandconfrontinghim/heropenlywiththeseriousconflictsinhis/hercase,or(b)beniceandgentlesoyoudon’tscareyourspouseintoclammingup,andsoyoudon’tpreparehim/herforthehardquestionsyouwillaskattrialwhentheyareinfrontofthejudge.

Thetraditionalpurposeofadepositionistoobtaininformationthatwillbeusedattrialorinsettlingthecase.Thesecondpurposeistopsychouttheothersidesothey’llgiveupandsettle.Thisismuchmorerealthanthefirstpurpose,asveryfewcasesactuallygettotrial.Thetwopurposesconflict.Generally,ifyoureallywantinformation,thebestthingistoquietlyacceptwhateverinformationthewitnessisgivingyouandkeeptryingtodrawhim/heroutmore,hopinghe/shewillfallintoatangleofcontradictions.There’sarule:“Don’teducatethewitness,”whichmeansthatifyouconfrontthewitnessdirectlywiththeweaknessinhis/hertestimony,theywon’trepeatitattrial.Butthereprobablywon’tbeatrial.Whatyoureallywantistogetasettlementasrapidlyandfavorablyaspossible,andmaybeconfrontingthewitnesswithhis/hercontradictionsandposturingwill,infact,settlethecasefaster.

Seating.Experiencedtriallawyerswillsitrightnexttotheirclientssotheycankicktheclienttostopthemfromdoingsomethingortocoachthem.Ifitisyourdepositionbeingtaken,youwillwanttositnexttoyourattorneywhereopposingcounselandhis/herclientcannotcatchanysignals.Ifyouaretakingyourspouse’sdeposition,youwillwanttotrytositsothatyoucanseeifyourspousehasanattorneywhokickshim/her.Ifthathappens,youletyourattorneyknowsotheycansay,“LettherecordreflectthatopposingcounseljustkickedthePetitioner/Respondent.”Ifyouaretakingyourspouse’sdepositionandcandoitataglass-toppedtable,thatisthebestbecauseitpermitsyoutoobserveanyunder-the-tablenote-passing,kicking,orotherhanky-panky.

Whatyouseeiswhatyousee.Donotsitwheretheothersidecansteallooksatyourpapersornotes,althoughitisokayifyoucangetalookattheirs.Oryoucouldpurposelyleavesomethingoutfor“disinformation,”ifyoucanthinkofanythingthatmightbeeffective.Somepeoplemightbringahugecaseofnotesandrecordsjusttoimpresstheothersidewiththeirdeterminationandpreparation.ItcouldbefilesfromSundayschool,buttheywouldn’tknowthat.

Pissingcontests.Often,atthebeginningofadeposition,thelawyerwilltestyoubyseeingifhe/shecandominateyouandengageinimproperconduct.Itisnotunusualtohavetobeginadepositionwithaverbalbattleinwhichyouassertyourself.Haveyourattorneyprepareyouforthedepositionwithsomebasicinstructions.Rememberthatyourlawyershouldbewithyouandwill/shouldknowwhentostepinandstopanyinappropriateactivity.Alsorememberthatyouneedtoremaincalmandrationalbutvery,veryfirminyouranswers.

Swearing.Sometimesthewitnesswilltestyoubyswearingatthedeposition,testingtoseewhathe/shecangetawaywith.Evenifyouswearyourselfinprivate,actoutragedanddemandthattheconductimmediatelycease.Insistthatyouwilladjournthedepositionifthereisanymoreswearing.

Primingthepump.Oneapproachistogetthewitnesstoanswersomeeasyquestionsfirst:name,address,etc.,etc.,sothattheygetusedtotalkingandfeelcomfortableandlessguardedbythetimeyougettosomethingthatcounts.Ofcourse,onoccasionyouusetheoppositeapproachandpopyourmostdevastatingquestionfirsttotakeadvantageofyourspouse’sinitialnervousness.

Questions.Eachquestionhastostandalone.Itemsmustbereferredtoclearlybyitsnameeachtime,never


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by“it.”Forexample,ifyouareaskingaboutthewitness’employmentapplication,youwanttoaskabout“youremploymentapplication”everytime,never“it.”Thissoundsquitestiltedwhenitsdone,butwhenyougetyourtranscriptandwanttouseitatcourt,you’llseewhyyougotthisadvice.

Whenaskedaquestion,itisverycommonforthewitnessnottoanswerit.Theyoftendeflectyoubyansweringsomeotherquestionorbyofferinganenticingtidbitof information.Yourattorneymustbeabletofollowuptheenticingtidbit,gocleararound,andreturntoyouroriginalquestion.Notesareimperativetoaccomplishthis.

Sometimesawitnesswillsaythattheydidn’t“really”or“actually”dosomething.Wordslikethatarecluesthatyouneedtodosomefollow-up.Ifyourattorneyasksthewitness,“DidyoutellMr.JonesX?”andthewitnesssays,“Notreally,”afollowupshouldbe,“DidyoutellMr.Jonesanythingatall?”or“WhatexactlydidyousaytoMr.Jones?”

Don’tletopposingcounselkibitz.Ifopposingcounselconferswithyourspouse,particularlyifitisafteryouaskanimportantquestion,thecourtreporterwillnotwriteanythingdownifitisnotaudible.Therefore, your attorney should to say, “Let the record reflect that counsel is conferringwith his/herclient.”Dothiseverytime.

Endofdeposition.Attheendofthedeposition,hangaroundandseeifyouhearanythingincasualconversation.Aslongasthecourtreporterisstillthere,ifyouthinkofonelastbrilliantquestion,youcanaskthereportertostayandsetupagain.Alternatively,thisisagoodopportunitytocasuallyeaseintoasettlementdiscussion,ifyouwantto,withoutseemingweakfordoingso.Whenyoudoleave,makesureyouhaveeveryscrapofpaperandnoteswithyou;don’tleaveanythingfortheothersidetofind,eveninthewastebasket,unlessyouintendforthemtofindit.

2.Havingyourdepositiontaken Inadditiontothenotesabove,herearesometipsforwhattodoiftheytakeyourdeposition.Yourlawyer shouldprepareyou for thedepositionandwillhave theirown instructions,buthere are somebasics.

Don’t bring documents. If the other side is taking your deposition, and you bring files to thedepositionwithyou,theopposingcounselcanaskyoutoprovidedocumentsrightthere,andyouwillfindyourselfopeningupyourfile,lookingforpapers,andgivingthemtoopposingcounselortoyourspousewith no opportunity to review those papers carefully in advance. It is better practice to bringonlydocumentsyouhavebeenlegallynotifiedtoproduce,alegalpadandcourtpaperstothedepositionand, if you are asked to provide documents later that should have been produced by the time of thedeposition,makeanoteofit,andsendthemtocounsellater.(Youarekeepingyourpapersinseparatefilesornotebooksasthisbookinstructed,soyoualreadyhaveyourcourtpapersseparatedfromotherpapers.)Ifopposingcounselabusestheopportunityandasksyoutobringinawholelotofstuff,orifitisahigh-conflictcase,youmaywanttotellthemtosendyouaformalwrittenrequesttoproducesotherewillbenomisunderstandingsastowhatistobeproduced.Ifyousayitthisway,soundinglikeyou’reworkingtoensureclarityandfullproduction,youwon’tsoundlikeyou’rebeingoppositional.

Neverguess.Youdon’twanttheothersidetoleadyoudownthe“primrosepath.”Thelawyergetsthewitnesstoguessatwhatwasobservedorsaidinaconversation,thenactsasiftheanswerisabsolutelytrue,whereasitwasonlyanattempttosaywhatmighthavebeen,thenthelawyerasksaboutazilliondetailsaboutitandgetsyouallflustered,soundinglikealiar.Neverguesswhatprobablyhappenedormighthavebeensaid.


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Objections.Yourattorneywillhavetheresponsibilitytomakeobjectionsifaquestionisimproper.Ifobjectionsarenotmadeatthedeposition,itwillbeconsideredtohavebeenwaived.Forthisreason,whenaquestionisasked,pauseforacoupleofsecondstoallowyourlawyertoobjectifnecessary.

Invasionsofattorney-clientprivilege.Ifyouhaveconsultedanattorneyatanytimeaboutyourcase,youmustbeveryvigilanttoprotectthesecrecyofthosecommunications.Ifaquestiontouchesinanywayonattorney-clientprivilege,youcanlosethatprivilegebyansweringinanyway.Iftheprivilegegetswaived,theothersidecantakeyourattorney’sdepositionandexamineyourpreviouslysecretfiles.Onelawyer trickis todropinsurprisequestionslike,“Didanyoneever tellyou(anythingaboutyourrightsoryourpropertyoryourcase)?”“When?”“Whatdidtheytellyouexactly?”“Whotoldyou?”Ifyouanswerthefirstquestioninthestring,youmighthavewaivedtheattorney/clientprivilege.Ifyouareasked,“Didanyoneevertellyou...”youanswer,“Doyoumean,‘Exceptformyattorney’?”Youintervenetoprotecttheprivilegeimmediately.Thesameistrueofthequestion,“Haveyoudiscussedyourcasewithanyone?”Yousay,“Doyoumean‘Otherthanmyattorney’?”

Don’tanswerstatements.Ifopposingcounselisquestioningyouandmakesastatement,don’tanswerit.Sitthereandwaitforaquestion.Thiswillavoidbeingbaitedbyopposingcounsel.

Endofdeposition.Attheendofthedeposition,gatherupallofyourpapersandleaveimmediately.Aslongasthecourtreporterisstillthere,ifopposingcounselthinksofonelastbrilliantquestion,theycanaskyoutostayandhavethecourtreportersetupagain.Besureyoudidnotleaveonescrapornotethattheothersidecangettheirhandson.


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Figure 17.1REQUEST FOR PRODUCTION

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Request for Production of Documents

YOUR NAME Your Address City, State, Zip Your Phone

Petitioner in pro. per.

SUPERIOR COURT OF CALIFORNIA, COUNTY OF [County]

In re the Marriage of ) No. [Your case number] ) Petitioner: YOUR NAME ) REQUEST FOR PRODUCTION ) OF DOCUMENTS Respondent: SPOUSE NAME ) ________________________________)

SET NUMBER: ONE

PROPOUNDING PARTY: PETITIONER/ RESPONDENT

RESPONDING PARTY: RESPONDENT/ PETITIONER

Petitioner/ Respondent requests that on [date] at [time], or

before, at [City], California you identify, produce, and permit

the inspection and copying or photographing, by or on behalf of

said party, of the following documents, papers, books,

photographs, objects, or tangible things: All items listed in

Exhibit A attached hereto and made part hereof.

You are requested to produce all documents, objects, and

things in your possession, custody or control, and in the

possession, custody or control of your agents, employees and

attorneys.

Dated: _________________

_______________________________ YOUR NAME, Petitioner


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Figure 17.2EXHIBIT A –ITEMS TO PRODUCE

(page 1)

Exhibit A page 1 of 2

EXHIBIT A

ITEMS TO PRODUCE

1. Copies of federal income tax returns (including all returns and all amended returns) of the party or parties for the years [year] through [year], including all attached schedules, W-2 forms, 1099 forms and K-1 forms and requests for extensions and all amended returns.

2. Details of pension or retirement plans, savings plans, insurance plans, profit sharing plans, and stock option and/or participation plans provided by employer of the responding party, whether or not employee contributions are made.

3. All monthly statements reflecting balances as of [date] and [date] through date of production in all savings, checking, credit union, certificate of deposit, mutual funds, IRA’s, stock accounts (such as with Charles Schwab) and other types of accounts on which responding party is or has been a signer, regardless of the alleged separate or community nature thereof, and regardless of whether held solely or jointly and regardless of whether held as an individual or as trustee for another and regardless of whether domestic or foreign.

4. All passbooks, check registers, carbon copies of checks and other similar documents relating to the accounts described in the immediately preceding paragraph.

5. All documents relating to the purchase, ownership, and/or sale of real property by the parties or either of them, including deeds, deeds of trust, escrow instructions, statements showing the amount of the encumbrance(s) thereon, date of purchase or sale, and amount of purchase or sale price.

6. All documentation reflecting the lease/ownership of each vehicle owned/leased by the parties as of [date of separation] or either of them, including the registration, any encumbrance thereon, purchase/lease statement, date of purchase/ lease, amount of purchase/lease price, and all documents regarding financing of the purchase/lese price of such vehicles, or, if purchase was not financed, receipt for cash purchase price.

7. All documents relating to any interest of the parties or either of them in any stocks or bonds, including the form of ownership, date of purchase, initial costs, current market value, and a statement regarding the location of the certificates reflecting each stock, bond, or other security.

8. All evidence of ownership or possession or other beneficial interest in or to any safe deposit box or boxes.

EXHIBIT A (continued)


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Figure 17.3EXHIBIT A –ITEMS TO PRODUCE

(page 2)


9. Documents of all ownership or beneficial interest by the parties or either of them in any kind of promissory note and other documents relating to a right or claim to money or property, whether or not secured, including the names and addresses of the makers of such notes or documents, and the amounts thereof, along with writings reflecting payment history under each such note.

10. Documents evidencing any and all business entities in which the parties or either of them have any ownership or interest, including the percentage of the interest and the nature of any party's participation, if any, in such business entity and the name and address of the entity and its owner, president, and/or CEO.

11. All writings relating to stock and bond brokers with whom the parties or either of them has had an account or accounts since the date of the marriage if not listed in 7 above.

12. All documentation of all loans and indebtedness of any kind incurred by the responding party from [date], through the date of production/hearing, including copies of any and all loan applications.

13. Statements, notices, and other similar documents reflecting the balance or status of any insurance policies or plans which have an accrued cash value from the date of their inception, in the names of the parties or either of them.

14. Any and all electronically stored information containing or reffering to any of the above items, to be produced in a form that is usable on a typical home computer using readily available consumer software.


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Figure 17.4EXHIBIT A –EMPLOYMENT RECORDS


EXHIBIT A

ITEMS TO PRODUCE (1) Payroll records pertaining to [Employee Name] (hereinafter “Employee”) whose Social Security number is [S.S. Number], and whose date of birth is [Date], including the following: (a) gross pay, net pay, itemization of all deductions from gross pay, and expense account or other reimbursement to Employee for out-of-pocket expenses; all payments to Employee are to be shown, including any thing of value received by Employee such as stock options or stock or savings plan and bonuses and deferred compensation; (b) Employee’s W-2 and W-4 form(s) for the year(s)[Year(s)]. (2) Savings plans, 401(k) plans, ESOP plans, profit sharing plans, bonuses, sick pay accounts, vacation pay accounts, and every account of each and every kind held by employer on behalf of Employee; (3) Stock options, including for each grant: date of grant, number of grant, number of shares, option price, all writings regarding re-pricing of options, date of exercisability/vesting and dates on which options were actually exercised and all funds received by Employee from exercise; (4) Codes: If any codes are used in the above records, a copy of the booklet or other material needed to understand the meaning of the codes and their applicability to Employee. The term "Employee", is used for convenience of designation and is not intended to limit production only to records regarding employment as this subpoena includes all payments of any type to [Name], regardless of whether he/she is an employee, partner, independent contractor, or some other legal relationship.


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Figure 17.5RESPONSE TO REQUEST TO PRODUCE

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Response to Request for Production of Documents


Respondent in propria persona


In re Marriage of ) No.: Your case number ) Petitioner: SPOUSE NAME ) RESPONSE TO REQUEST FOR ) PRODUCTION OF DOCUMENTS Respondent: YOUR NAME ) _______________________________)

TO: Petitioner and his/her attorney of record:

Respondent responds as follows to Petitioner‘s request for

production of documents served on [date].

[Note: For every demand you must choose one of the

following responses.]

RESPONSE (if you have only some of the requested documents):

Respondent hereby complies in part with demand No. [No.] by

producing the following documents that are in Respondent’s

possession, custody or control:

After a diligent search and reasonable inquiry, Respondent

is unable to further comply with said request as such items have

been lost, misplaced, never have been, or no longer is, in

Respondent’s possession, custody, or control.

RESPONSE (if you have all the requested documents): Respondent

hereby complies in full with demand No. [No.] by producing the

following that are in Respondent’s possession, custody or

control:


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Figure 17.6RESPONSE TO REQUEST TO PRODUCE

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Response to Request for Production of Documents

RESPONSE (if you have none of the requested documents):

After a diligent search and a reasonable inquiry by the Respondent

in an effort to comply with Demand No. [No.], Respondent is unable

to comply with this demand as the requested documents never

existed OR have been destroyed OR have been lost, misplaced, or

stolen, OR have never been, or are no longer, in the possession,

custody, or control of the Respondent. The name and address of

any natural person or organization known or believed by

Respondent to have possession, custody, or control of said

documents is:[Name and Address].

RESPONSE (if you object to a demand):

[Note: If only part of an item is objectionable, the response must contain one of the three above responses (a statement of compliance, or a representation of inability to comply) with respect to the unobjectionable part; as to the balance, you object as shown below.]

The particular document to which objection is made is: (for

example, doctor’s letter to Respondent regarding medical

condition). The specific objection to this item is:[Objection]

(for example, It is a letter from doctor to patient and is within

the physician-patient privilege.).

Dated: [Date]

___________________________ YOUR NAME, Respondent

[Reminder: You must also attach a signed Verification.]


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Figure 17.7VERIFICATION FOR RESPONSE TO REQUEST TO PRODUCE

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Verification

Marriage of YOUR LAST NAME & SPOUSE LAST NAME

Case No. [Your Case Number]

VERIFICATION

STATE OF CALIFORNIA, COUNTY OF [County]

I am the petitioner/ respondent in the above-entitled action

or proceeding. I have read the foregoing [name of document] and

know the contents thereof, and I certify that the same is true of

my own knowledge, except as to those matter which are therein

stated upon my information or belief, and as to those matters I

believe it to be true.

Executed at [City], California, on [date].

I declare under penalty of perjury under the Laws of the

State of California that the foregoing is true and correct.

____________________________ YOUR NAME


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Figure 17.8LETTER REPLY TO THE RESPONSE

(page 1)

Date

Spouse or their Attorney Address City, State, Zip Re: Marriage of [Name] Dear [Name]: I have reviewed your Response to our Request for Production of Documents and find that your Responses do not comply with various sections of CCP §2031.210 which requires specific language when responding to document productions. (Use next paragraph if production comes without labels and tags.) First, I attempted to make sense of the documents you sent (reviewing them for almost an hour); however, I have no obligation to do so. The way they were produced did not comply with CCP §2031.280 which states, that the documents must be produced “organized and labeled to correspond with the categories in the demand.” Therefore, I am asking that you provide me with another copy of the production with the attachments clearly labeled to correspond to my production request. (Use the next paragraph if they did not produce documents and did not properly make a statement of inability to comply with the demand.) Second, your Responses to Requests number [number] and [number] fail to meet with statutory language of CCP §2031.230 which states:

“A representation of inability to comply with the particular demand for inspection shall affirm that a diligent search and a reasonable inquiry has been made in an effort to comply with that demand. This statement shall also specify whether the inability to comply is because the particular item or category has never existed, has been destroyed, has been lost, misplaced, or stolen, or has never been, or is no longer, in the possession, custody, or control of the responding party. . . .”

(Use the next paragraph if the other side says they are still looking for documents and they will produce when they find them.) Third, your Responses to Requests number [number] and [number] fail to meet the statutory language of CCP §2031.210 due to the fact that they do not state that you are complying or not complying with the Request for Production. Stating that you are still looking for documents and that you will produce if you find them is not sufficient. Please comply with the statute. (Use the next paragraph if there was no verification.)


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Figure 17.9LETTER REPLY TO THE RESPONSE

(page 2)

Fourth, there was no verification with your purported responses. Case law indicates that an unverified response is the same as no response. Therefore, your response is late, and you have waived all objections. Nonetheless, you must still supply me with a formal, signed verification.

I expect you to re-do the Response to Request for Production of Documents as well as clearly label the actual documents produced so that they comply with CCP §2031.280 and provide us with same on or before [Date]. Very truly yours, YOUR NAME Your Address City, State, Zip Your Phone


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Figure 17.10FORM INTERROGATORIES

Form FL-145 (page 1)FL-145

ATTORNEY OR PARTY WITHOUT ATTORNEY (Name, State Bar number, and address): TELEPHONE NO.:

ATTORNEY FOR (Name):

SUPERIOR COURT OF CALIFORNIA, COUNTY OF

SHORT TITLE:

FORM INTERROGATORIES–FAMILY LAW CASE NUMBER:

Asking Party:

Answering Party:

Set No.:

Sec. 1. Instructions to Both Parties

The interrogatories on page 2 of this form are intended to provide for the exchange of relevant information without unreasonable expense to the answering party. They do not change existing law relating to interrogatories, nor do they affect the answering party’s right to assert any privilege or make any objection. Privileges must be asserted.

Sec. 4. Instructions to the Answering Party

You must answer these interrogatories under oath within 30 days, in accordance with Code of Civil Procedure section 2030.260.

Sec. 2. Definitions

You must furnish all information you have or can reasonably find out, including all information (not privileged) from your attorneys or under your control. If you don’t know, say so.

Person includes a natural person; a partnership; any kind of business, legal, or public entity; and its agents or employees.

If an interrogatory is answered by referring to a document, the document must be attached as an exhibit to the response and referred to in the response. If the document has more than one page, refer to the page and section where the answer can be found.

Document means all written, recorded,or graphic materials, however stored, produced, or reproduced.

If a document to be attached to the response may also be attached to the Schedule of Assets and Debts (form FL-142), the document should be attached only to the response, and the form should refer to the response.Asset or property includes any interest in real

estate or personal property. It includes any interest in a pension, profit-sharing, or retirement plan.

If an interrogatory cannot be answered completely, answer as much as you can, state the reason you cannot answer the rest, and state any information you have about the unanswered portion.

Debt means any obligation, including debts paid since the date of separation.

Support means any benefit or economic contribution to the living expenses of another person, including gifts. Sec. 5. Oath

If asked to identify a person, give the person’s name, last known residence and business addresses, telephone numbers, and company affiliation at the date of the transaction referred to.

Your answers to these interrogatories must be under oath, dated, and signed. Use the following statement at the end of your answers:

I declare under penalty of perjury under the laws of the State of California that the foregoing answers are true and correct.

If asked to identify a document, attach a copy of the document unless you explain why not. If you do not attach the copy, describe the document, including its date and nature, and give the name, address, telephone number, and occupation of the person who has the document.

(SIGNATURE)( DATE)

Page 1 of 2Form Approved for Optional Use Judicial Council of California FL-145 [Rev. January 1, 2006]

Code of Civil Procedure, §§ 2030.010–2030.410, 2033.710

www.courtinfo.ca.gov

FORM INTERROGATORIES–FAMILY LAW

(a)

(b)

(c)

(d)

(e)

(f)

(g)

Sec. 3. Instructions to the Asking Party

Check the box next to each interrogatory you want the answering party to answer.

Words in boldface in these interrogatories are defined as follows:


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Figure 17.11FORM INTERROGATORIES

Form FL-145 (page 2)

1. Personal history. State your full name, current 12. Property valuations. During the past 12 months, have you received written offers to purchase or had written appraisals of any of the assets listed on your completed Schedule of Assets and Debts? If your answer is yes, identify the document.

residence address and work address, social security number, any other names you have used, and the dates between which you used each name.

2. Agreements. Are there any agreements between youand your spouse or domestic partner, made before or during your marriage or domestic partnership or after your separation, that affect the disposition of assets, debts, or support in this proceeding? If your answer is yes, for each agreement state the date made and whether it was written or oral, and attach a copy of the agreement or describe its contents.

13. Property held by others. Is there any propertyheld by any third party in which you have any interest or over which you have any control? If your answer is yes, indicate whether the property is shown on the Schedule of Assets and Debts completed by you. If it is not, describe and identify each such asset, state its present value and the basis for your valuation, and identify the person holding the asset.

3. Legal actions. Are you a party or do you anticipatebeing a party to any legal or administrative proceeding other than this action? If your answer is yes, state your role and the name, jurisdiction, case number, and a brief description of each proceeding.

14. Retirement and other benefits. Do you have aninterest in any disability, retirement, profit-sharing, or deferred compensation plan? If your answer is yes, identify each plan and provide the name, address, and telephone number of the administrator and custodian of records.4. Persons sharing residence. State the name, age,

and relationship to you of each person at your presentaddress. 15. Claims of reimbursement. Do you claim the legal

right to be reimbursed for any expenditures of your separate or community property? If your answer is yes, state all supporting facts.5. Support provided others. State the name, age,

address, and relationship to you of each person for whom you have provided support during the past 12 months and the amount provided per month for each. 16. Credits. Have you claimed reimbursement credits

6. Support received for others. State the name, age,

for payments of community debts since the date of separation? If your answer is yes, identify the source of payment, the creditor, the date paid, and the amount paid. State whether you have added to the debt since the separation.

address, and relationship to you of each person for whom you have received support during the past 12 months and the amount received per month for each.

7. Current income. List all income you received during17. Insurance. Identify each health, life, automobile,

the past 12 months, its source, the basis for its computation, and the total amount received from each. Attach your last three paycheck stubs.

and disability insurance policy or plan that you now own or that covers you, your children, or your assets. State the policy type, policy number, and name of the company. Identify the agent and give the address.

8. Other income. During the past three years, have youreceived cash or other property from any source not identified in item 7? If so, list the source, the date, and the nature and value of the property.

18. Health. Is there any physical or emotional conditionthat limits your ability to work? If your answer is yes, state each fact on which you base your answer.

9. Tax returns. Attach copies of all tax returns and tax 19. Children’s needs. Do you contend that any ofschedules filed by or for you in any jurisdiction for the past three calendar years.

your children have any special needs? If so, identify the child with the need, the reason for the need, its cost, and its expected duration.

10. Schedule of assets and debts. Complete theSchedule of Assets and Debts (form FL-142) served with these interrogatories.

20. Attorney fees. State the total amount of attorneyfees and costs incurred by you in this proceeding, the amount paid, and the source of the money paid. Describe the billing arrangements.11. Separate property contentions. State the facts that

support your contention that an asset or debt is separate property. 21. Gifts. List any gifts you have made without the

consent of your spouse or domestic partner in the past 24 months, their values, and the recipients.

FORM INTERROGATORIES–FAMILY LAW Page 2 of 2FL-145 [Rev. January 1, 2006]

FL-145


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Figure 17.12SPECIALLY DRAFTED INTERROGATORIES

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First Set of Written Interrogatories (Specially drafted)


Petitioner in propria persona


In re Marriage of ) No.: [Your case number] ) Petitioner: YOUR NAME ) FIRST SET OF WRITTEN ) INTERROGATORIES Respondent: SPOUSE NAME ) (Specially drafted) _______________________________)

SET NUMBER: ONE

PROPOUNDING PARTY: PETITIONER

RESPONDING PARTY: RESPONDENT

Petitioner requests that Respondent answer under oath,

pursuant to Section 2030.010 of the California Code of Civil

Procedure, within thirty (30) days of the date of service hereof,

the following Interrogatories.

Each answer must be as complete and straightforward as the

information reasonably available to you permits. If an

interrogatory cannot be answered completely, answer to the extent

possible.

If you do not have enough personal knowledge to fully answer

an interrogatory, say so, but make a reasonable and good faith

effort to get the information by asking other persons or

organizations, unless the information is equally available to the

asking party.

Whenever an interrogatory may be answered by referring to a

document, the document may be attached as an exhibit to the


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(page 2)

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response and referred to in the response. If the document has

more than one page, refer to the page and section where the

answer to the interrogatory can be found.

Whenever an address and telephone number for the same person

are requested in more than one interrogatory, you are required to

furnish them in answering only the first interrogatory asking for

that information.

Your answers to these interrogatories must be verified,

dated, and signed.

Dated: [Date]

________________________________ YOUR NAME, Petitioner

1. Identification. State:

a. Your present name and all former names.

ANSWER:

b. Your present residence address.

ANSWER:

c. Your Social Security number.

ANSWER:

d. Your drivers license number and state of issuance.

ANSWER:

2. Employment.

a. State your present occupation.

ANSWER:

b. State the address of your present workplace and/or

employer's name and address, the date you commenced work there,

and your employee identification number, if any.

ANSWER:


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(page 3)

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c. What is your present gross monthly income (including

all things of value received by you each month from all sources

before deducting expenses)?

ANSWER:

d. State your net monthly income, and specifically

itemize all deductions from gross income.

ANSWER:

e. If, during the past 12 months, you have worked any

overtime, please state the number of hours per month and the

overtime rate of pay.

ANSWER:

f. If you will do so without a notice to produce,

please attach copies of your four (4) most recent paystubs or

other documentation of monthly income along with your most recent

W-2 form.

STATE WHETHER ATTACHED:

g. Have any bonuses or commissions been paid to you

during the past 12 months, and, if so, what was the amount and

source of each?

ANSWER:

h. Do you expect any bonuses or commissions to be paid

to you within the coming 12 months, and, if so, what is the

amount and source of each?

ANSWER:

i. As of the date of separation from your spouse, did

you have the right to any vacation fund, and, if so, state the

company or entity holding the fund, the amount of money payable

to you upon vacation and the earliest date on which you may draw


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Figure 17.15DECLARATION FOR ADDITIONAL INTERROGATORIES

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Declaration Permitting Additional Interrogatories [CCP 2030.050]




In re Marriage of ) No.: [Your case number] ) Petitioner: YOUR NAME ) DECLARATION PERMITTING ) ADDITIONAL INTERROGATORIES Respondent: SPOUSE NAME ) [CCP 2030.050] _______________________________)

I, the undersigned, declare:

1. I am the Petitioner herein.

2. I am propounding to Respondent, the attached set of

interrogatories.

3. This set of interrogatories will cause the total number

of specially prepared interrogatories propounded to the party to

whom they are directed to exceed the number of specially prepared

interrogatories permitted by Section 2030.030 of the Code of

Civil Procedure.

4. I have previously propounded a total of [number]

interrogatories to this party of which [number] interrogatories

were not official form interrogatories.

OR

4. I have not previously propounded any interrogatories to

Respondent which were not official form interrogatories.

5. This set of interrogatories contains a total of [number]

specially prepared interrogatories which are supplemental to Form

Interrogatories.


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Figure 17.16DECLARATION FOR ADDITIONAL INTERROGATORIES

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Declaration Permitting Additional Interrogatories [CCP 2030.050]

6. I am familiar with the issues and the previous discovery

conducted in the case.

7. I have personally examined each of the questions in this

set of interrogatories.

8. The number of questions is warranted under Section

2030.040 of the Code of Civil Procedure because the complexity of

this matter involving dissolution of marriage requires

information which cannot be gained within the statutory limits of

thirty-five specially prepared interrogatories.

9. None of the questions in this set of interrogatories is

being propounded for any improper purposes, such as to harass the

party, or the attorney for the party to whom it is directed, or

to cause any unnecessary delay of needless increase in the cost

of litigation.

I declare under penalty of perjury under the laws of the

State of California that the foregoing is true and correct and

that this declaration was executed on [Date] at [City],

California.

______________________________ YOUR NAME, Petitioner


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Figure 17.17RESPONSE TO INTERROGATORIES

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Declaration Permitting Additional Interrogatories [CCP 2030]


Respondent in propria persona


In re Marriage of ) No.: [Your case number] ) Petitioner: SPOUSE NAME ) RESPONSE TO ) WRITTEN INTERROGATORIES Respondent: YOUR NAME ) _______________________________)

TO: Petitioner and his/her attorney of record:

Respondent responds as follows to Petitioner‘s written

interrogatories, first set, (form OR specially drafted) served on

[date].

[Note: As all questions are different, we can’t give you

examples of answers that will help your specific case. Just

answer each question, exactly as asked, not volunteering

additional information and not leaving out any parts.]

Dated: [Date]

___________________________ YOUR NAME, Respondent

[Reminder: You must also attach a signed Verification.]


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Figure 17.18NOTICE OF TAKING DEPOSITION—RECORDS ONLY

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Notice of Taking Deposition — Records Only — No Appearance




In re Marriage of ) No.: [Your case number] ) Petitioner: YOUR NAME ) NOTICE OF TAKING ) DEPOSITION--- Respondent: SPOUSE NAME ) RECORDS ONLY--- _______________________________) NO APPEARANCE

TO ALL PARTIES AND THEIR ATTORNEYS OF RECORD:

PLEASE TAKE NOTICE that the deposition of the custodian of

records of [name of company or organization] will be taken in the

above-entitled action before a Notary Public at the following

address: [City], California, on [date], at [time], and continued from

day to day thereafter, Sundays and holidays excepted, until

completed, on behalf of petitioner.

Dated: [Date]

___________________________ YOUR NAME, Petitioner


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Figure 17.19INTERROGATORIES TO CUSTODIAN OF RECORDS

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Interrogatories to Custodian of Records

INTERROGATORIES (Attachment to Notice of Deposition)

1. What is your name?

ANSWER:

2. By whom are you employed?

ANSWER:

3. What is your job title?

ANSWER:

4. Are you the duly authorized custodian of records, and do you have in your care, custody and control all records listed below?

ANSWER:

5. List all attached records:

6. Are these records kept in the regular course of your employer's business?

ANSWER:

7. Are the entries in the records made at or near the time of the event to which they relate?

ANSWER:

8. In response to subpena duces tecum served on you, have you produced any and all records mentioned in that subpoena?

ANSWER:


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Figure 17.20INTERROGATORIES TO CUSTODIAN OF RECORDS

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Interrogatories to Custodian of Records

INTERROGATORIES (Attachment to Notice of Deposition)

1. What is your name?

ANSWER:

2. By whom are you employed?

ANSWER:

3. What is your job title?

ANSWER:

4. Are you the duly authorized custodian of records, and do you have in your care, custody and control all records listed below?

ANSWER:

5. List all attached records:

6. Are these records kept in the regular course of your employer's business?

ANSWER:

7. Are the entries in the records made at or near the time of the event to which they relate?

ANSWER:

8. In response to subpena duces tecum served on you, have you produced any and all records mentioned in that subpoena?

ANSWER:


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Figure 17.21DEPOSITION SUBPOENA FOR PRODUCTION OF BUSINESS RECORDS

Form SUBP-010 (page 1)

SUBP-010

DEPOSITION SUBPOENA FOR PRODUCTION OF BUSINESS RECORDS

THE PEOPLE OF THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA, TO (name, address, and telephone number of deponent, if known):

1. YOU ARE ORDERED TO PRODUCE THE BUSINESS RECORDS described in item 3, as follows:To (name of deposition officer):

At (time):On (date) :Location (address):

Do not release the requested records to the deposition officer prior to the date and time stated above.by delivering a true, legible, and durable copy of the business records described in item 3, enclosed in a sealed inner wrapper with the title and number of the action, name of witness, and date of subpoena clearly written on it. The inner wrapper shall then be enclosed in an outer envelope or wrapper, sealed, and mailed to the deposition officer at theaddress in item 1.by delivering a true, legible, and durable copy of the business records described in item 3 to the deposition officer at the witness's address, on receipt of payment in cash or by check of the reasonable costs of preparing the copy, as determined under Evidence Code section 1563(b).by making the original business records described in item 3 available for inspection at your business address by the attorney's representative and permitting copying at your business address under reasonable conditions during normalbusiness hours.

a.

b.

c.

2. The records are to be produced by the date and time shown in item 1 (but not sooner than 20 days after the issuance of the deposition subpoena, or 15 days after service, whichever date is later). Reasonable costs of locating records, making them available or copying them, and postage, if any, are recoverable as set forth in Evidence Code section 1563(b). The records shall be accompanied by an affidavit of the custodian or other qualified witness pursuant to Evidence Code section 1561.

Continued on Attachment 3.4. IF YOU HAVE BEEN SERVED WITH THIS SUBPOENA AS A CUSTODIAN OF CONSUMER OR EMPLOYEE RECORDS UNDER

CODE OF CIVIL PROCEDURE SECTION 1985.3 OR 1985.6 AND A MOTION TO QUASH OR AN OBJECTION HAS BEEN SERVED ON YOU, A COURT ORDER OR AGREEMENT OF THE PARTIES, WITNESSES, AND CONSUMER OR EMPLOYEE AFFECTED MUST BE OBTAINED BEFORE YOU ARE REQUIRED TO PRODUCE CONSUMER OR EMPLOYEE RECORDS.DISOBEDIENCE OF THIS SUBPOENA MAY BE PUNISHED AS CONTEMPT BY THIS COURT. YOU WILL ALSO BE LIABLE

FOR THE SUM OF FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS AND ALL DAMAGES RESULTING FROM YOUR FAILURE TO OBEY.

Date issued:

(SIGNATURE OF PERSON ISSUING SUBPOENA)(TYPE OR PRINT NAME)

(TITLE)(Proof of service on reverse)

DEPOSITION SUBPOENA FOR PRODUCTION OF BUSINESS RECORDS

Form Adopted for Mandatory UseJudicial Council of California

SUBP-010 [Rev. January 1, 2012]

Code of Civil Procedure, §§ 2020.410–2020.440;Government Code, § 68097.1

www.courts.ca.gov

FOR COURT USE ONLY

SUPERIOR COURT OF CALIFORNIA, COUNTY OFSTREET ADDRESS:

MAILING ADDRESS:

CITY AND ZIP CODE:

BRANCH NAME:

PLAINTIFF/PETITIONER:

DEFENDANT/RESPONDENT:

CASE NUMBER:

Page 1 of 2

E-MAIL ADDRESS:

ATTORNEY OR PARTY WITHOUT ATTORNEY (Name, State Bar number, and address):


TELEPHONE NO.: FAX NO.:

The records to be produced are described as follows (if electronically stored information is demanded, the form or forms in which each type of information is to be produced may be specified):

3.

To keep other people from seeing what you entered on your form, please press the

Clear This Form button at the end of the form when finished.


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Figure 17.22NOTICE TO CONSUMER OR EMPLOYEE

Form SUBP-025 (page 1)

(SIGNATURE OF

SUBP-025ATTORNEY OR PARTY WITHOUT ATTORNEY (Name, State Bar number, and address): FOR COURT USE ONLY

TELEPHONE NO.: FAX NO. (Optional):



MAILING ADDRESS:

CITY AND ZIP CODE:

BRANCH NAME:

PLAINTIFF/ PETITIONER: CASE NUMBER:

DEFENDANT/ RESPONDENT:

NOTICE TO CONSUMER OR EMPLOYEE AND OBJECTION (Code Civ. Proc., §§ 1985.3,1985.6)

NOTICE TO CONSUMER OR EMPLOYEETO (name):1. PLEASE TAKE NOTICE THAT REQUESTING PARTY (name):

A copy of the subpoena is attached.2. IF YOU OBJECT to the production of these records, YOU MUST DO ONE OF THE FOLLOWING BEFORE THE DATE SPECIFIED.

IN ITEM a. OR b. BELOW:a. If you are a party to the above-entitled action, you must file a motion pursuant to Code of Civil Procedure section 1987.1 to

quash or modify the subpoena and give notice of that motion to the witness and the deposition officer named in the subpoenaat least five days before the date set for production of the records.

YOU OR YOUR ATTORNEY MAY CONTACT THE UNDERSIGNED to determine whether an agreement can be reached in writing to cancel or limit the scope of the subpoena. If no such agreement is reached, and if you are not otherwise represented by an attorney in this action, YOU SHOULD CONSULT AN ATTORNEY TO ADVISE YOU OF YOUR RIGHTS OF PRIVACY.

Date:

(TYPE OR PRINT NAME)

OBJECTION BY NON-PARTY TO PRODUCTION OF RECORDS1. I object to the production of all of my records specified in the subpoena. 2.

3. The specific grounds for my objection are as follows:

Date:

(TYPE OR PRINT NAME) (SIGNATURE)

(Proof of service on reverse)

NOTICE TO CONSUMER OR EMPLOYEE AND OBJECTION Form Adopted for Mandatory Use Judicial Council of California SUBP-025 [Rev. January 1, 2008]

Code of Civil Procedure,§§ 1985.3. 1985.6,

2020.010–2020.510www.courtinfo.ca.gov

b. If you are not a party to this action, you must serve on the requesting party and on the witness, before the date set for production of the records, a written objection that states the specific grounds on which production of such records should be prohibited. You may use the form below to object and state the grounds for your objection. You must complete the Proof of Service on the reverse side indicating whether you personally served or mailed the objection. The objection should not be filed with the court. WARNING: IF YOUR OBJECTION IS NOT RECEIVED BEFORE THE DATE SPECIFIED IN ITEM 1, YOUR RECORDS MAY BE PRODUCED AND MAY BE AVAILABLE TO ALL PARTIES.

RECORDS FOR EXAMINATION by the parties to this action on (specify date):

3.

The records are described in the subpoena directed to witness (specify name and address of person or entity from whom recordsare sought):

REQUESTING PARTY ATTORNEY)

I object only to the production of the following specified records:

E-MAIL ADDRESS (Optional):

SEEKS YOUR

Page 1 of 2




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Figure 17.23NOTICE OF TAKING DEPOSITION

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Notice of Taking Deposition




In re Marriage of ) No.: [Your case number] ) Petitioner: YOUR NAME ) NOTICE OF TAKING ) DEPOSITION Respondent: SPOUSE NAME ) _______________________________)

TO ALL PARTIES AND THEIR ATTORNEYS OF RECORD:

PLEASE TAKE NOTICE that the deposition of [Name] will be

taken in the above-entitled action before a Notary Public at the

following address: [City], California, on [date], at [time], and

continued from day to day thereafter, Sundays and holidays

excepted, until completed, on behalf of petitioner. In addition

to being stenographically recorded, the deposition will be

videotaped/audiotaped.

[If the person whose deposition is being taken is your

spouse, you can also state:] YOU ARE DIRECTED TO BRING WITH YOU

TO THE DEPOSITION THE FOLLOWING DOCUMENTS AND ITEMS: All items

listed in Exhibit A attached hereto and made part hereof. [Use

Exhibit A in Figures 17.2- 17.4, or create one of your own.]

Dated: [Date]

___________________________ YOUR NAME, Petitioner


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Figure 17.24DEPOSITION SUBPOENA-PERSONAL APPEARANCE

Form SUBP-015 (page 1)SUBP-015


1. YOU ARE ORDERED TO APPEAR IN PERSON TO TESTIFY AS A WITNESS in this action at the following date, time, and place:Address:Time:Date:

As a deponent who is not a natural person, you are ordered to designate one or more persons to testify on your behalf as to the matters described in item 2. (Code Civ. Proc., § 2025.230.)

a.

b. This deposition will be recorded stenographically through the instant visual display of testimonyand by videotape.audiotapeThis videotape deposition is intended for possible use at trial under Code of Civil Procedure section 2025.620(d).c.

If the witness is a representative of a business or other entity, the matters upon which the witness is to be examined are as2.follows:

At the deposition, you will be asked questions under oath. Questions and answers are recorded stenographically at the deposition; later they are transcribed for possible use at trial. You may read the written record and change any incorrect answers before you sign the deposition. You are entitled to receive witness fees and mileage actually traveled both ways. The money must be paid, at the option of the party giving notice of the deposition, either with service of this subpoena or at the time of the deposition. Unless the court orders or you agree otherwise, if you are being deposed as an individual, the deposition must take place within 75 miles of your residence or within 150 miles of your residence if the deposition will be taken within the county of the court where the action is pending. The location of the deposition for all deponents is governed by Code of Civil Procedure section 2025.250.

DISOBEDIENCE OF THIS SUBPOENA MAY BE PUNISHED AS CONTEMPT BY THIS COURT. YOU WILL ALSO BE LIABLE FOR THE SUM OF $500 AND ALL DAMAGES RESULTING FROM YOUR FAILURE TO OBEY.

Date issued:

(SIGNATURE OF PERSON ISSUING SUBPOENA)

(TITLE)

(Proof of service on reverse)Form Adopted for Mandatory Use

Judicial Council of California SUBP-015 [Rev. January 1, 2009]

Code of Civil Procedure §§ 2020.310,DEPOSITION SUBPOENA FOR PERSONAL APPEARANCE

2025.220, 2025.230, 2025.250, 2025.620Government Code, § 68097.1


PLAINTIFF/ PETITIONER:

DEFENDANT/ RESPONDENT:

DEPOSITION SUBPOENA FOR PERSONAL APPEARANCE


FOR COURT USE ONLYATTORNEY OR PARTY WITHOUT ATTORNEY (Name, State Bar number, and address):





MAILING ADDRESS:

CITY AND ZIP CODE:

BRANCH NAME:

CASE NUMBER:

Page 1 of 2

3.




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Figure 17.25DEPOSITION SUBPOENA FOR PERSONAL APPEARANCE AND PRODUCTION OF

DOCUMENTS AND THINGS Form SUBP-020 (page 1)

SUBP-020


1. YOU ARE ORDERED TO APPEAR IN PERSON TO TESTIFY AS A WITNESS in this action at the following date, time, and place:

Time: Address:Date:

a. As a deponent who is not a natural person, you are ordered to designate one or more persons to testify on your behalf asto the matters described in item 4. (Code Civ. Proc., § 2025.230.)You are ordered to produce the documents and things described in item 3.

through the instant visual display of testimonyThis deposition will be recorded stenographicallyc.and by audiotape videotape.

d. This videotape deposition is intended for possible use at trial under Code of Civil Procedure section 2025.620(d).

3. The documents and things to be produced and any testing or sampling being sought are described as follows:

Continued on Attachment 3.4. If the witness is a representative of a business or other entity, the matters upon which the witness is to be examined are described as follows:

Continued on Attachment 4.5. IF YOU HAVE BEEN SERVED WITH THIS SUBPOENA AS A CUSTODIAN OF CONSUMER OR EMPLOYEE RECORDS UNDER

At the deposition, you will be asked questions under oath. Questions and answers are recorded stenographically at the deposition; later they are transcribed for possible use at trial. You may read the written record and change any incorrect answers before you sign the deposition. You are entitled to receive witness fees and mileage actually traveled both ways. The money must be paid, at the option of the party giving notice of the deposition, either with service of this subpoena or at the time of the deposition. Unless the court orders or you agree otherwise, if you are being deposed as an individual, the deposition must take place within 75 miles of your residence or within 150 miles of your residence if the deposition will be taken within the county of the court where the action is pending. The location of the deposition for all deponents is governed by Code of Civil Procedure section 2025.250.

DISOBEDIENCE OF THIS SUBPOENA MAY BE PUNISHED AS CONTEMPT BY THIS COURT. YOU WILL ALSO BE LIABLE FOR THE SUM OF $500 AND ALL DAMAGES RESULTING FROM YOUR FAILURE TO OBEY.

Date issued:


(SIGNATURE OF PERSON ISSUING SUBPOENA)

(TITLE)(Proof of service on reverse)

DEPOSITION SUBPOENA FOR PERSONAL APPEARANCE AND PRODUCTION OF DOCUMENTS AND THINGS

Form Adopted for Mandatory Use Judicial Council of California

SUBP-020 [Rev. January 1, 2009]

DEPOSITION SUBPOENA FOR PERSONAL APPEARANCE AND PRODUCTION OF DOCUMENTS AND THINGS

2. The personal attendance of the custodian or other qualified witness and the production of the original records are required by this subpoena. The procedure authorized by Evidence Code sections 1560(b), 1561, and 1562 will not be deemed sufficient compliance with this subpoena.

Code of Civil Procedure §§ 2020.510, 2025.220, 2025.230, 2025.250, 2025.620;

Government Code, § 68097.1www.courtinfo.ca.gov

b.

FOR COURT USE ONLYATTORNEY OR PARTY WITHOUT ATTORNEY (Name, State Bar number, and address):





MAILING ADDRESS:

CITY AND ZIP CODE:

BRANCH NAME:

PLAINTIFF/PETITIONER:

DEFENDANT/RESPONDENT:

CASE NUMBER:

Page 1 of 2

CODE OF CIVIL PROCEDURE SECTION 1985.3 OR 1985.6 AND A MOTION TO QUASH OR AN OBJECTION HAS BEEN SERVED ON YOU, A COURT ORDER OR AGREEMENT OF THE PARTIES, WITNESSES, AND CONSUMER OR EMPLOYEE AFFECTED MUST BE OBTAINED BEFORE YOU ARE REQUIRED TO PRODUCE CONSUMER OR EMPLOYEE RECORDS. 6.




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Figure 17.26DECLARATION IN SUPPORT OF SUBPOENA DUCES TECUM

Note:YoumustattachanExhibitAtothisdeclaration,listingitemsthatarebeingsubpoenaed.ExamplesforExhibitAcanbeseenatFigures17.2–17.4.

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Declaration in Support of Subpoena Duces Tecum


Case No. [Your case number]

DECLARATION IN SUPPORT OF SUBPOENA DUCES TECUM

(TO HEARING OR TRIAL)

The undersigned states:

I am petitioner in the above-entitled action; said cause has been

set for hearing at the date, time and location specified in the

attached subpoena duces tecum.

On information and belief, the subpenaed witness has in his/her

possession or under his/her control the following documents: All

items listed in Exhibit A, attached hereto and made part hereof.

[Note: Create an Exhibit A based on Figures 17.2-17.4]

On information and belief, the above documents are relevant to

a proper presentation of petitioner’s case by reason of the following

facts: This is an action for dissolution of marriage, involving

issues of support and community property.

The respondent’s assets, income and ability to make payments are

relevant to the issues herein. The requested records are relevant

to said matter.

Executed at [City], California, on [Date].

I declare under penalty of perjury under the laws of the State

of California that the foregoing is true and correct. ________________________________ YOUR NAME, Petitioner


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Figure 17.27NOTICE TO ATTORNEY IN LIEU OF SUBPOENA

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Notice to Attorney in Lieu of Subpoena




In re Marriage of ) No.: [Your case number] ) Petitioner: YOUR NAME ) NOTICE TO ATTORNEY ) IN LIEU OF SUBPOENA Respondent: SPOUSE NAME ) _______________________________)

To [name], attorney for Respondent herein:

NOTICE IS HEREBY GIVEN that Petitioner requests that Respondent

attend before a Notary Public at a deposition at the following

address: [address], California, on [date], at [time], to testify as

a witness in this action. Respondent has in his/her possession or

under his/her control the items listed in Exhibit A attached hereto

and made part hereof.

Said party is requested to bring to the deposition said items.

This request is made pursuant to sections 1987(b) and 1987(c) of the

Code of Civil Procedure which provide that the giving of this notice

has the same effect as the service of a subpoena, and that, in the

event of noncompliance with this notice, the parties shall have the

rights, and the Court may make such orders, including imposition of

sanctions, as in the case of a subpoena for attendance before the

Court.

Dated: [Date] ___________________________ YOUR NAME, Petitioner [Note: See example Exhibit A at Figures 17.2–17.4 showing sample items to produce.]


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CHAPTER 18COMPELLING DISCOVERY IN COURT

Thesemotionsaremuchlikeanyothermotions.Usethenoteshereasafollowuptothebasicmotion,discussedinchapter11.

A.MotionstocompeldiscoveryB.RespondingtoadiscoverymotionC.CompellingDeclarationofDisclosureD.MotiontocompelproductionofdocumentsE.CompellinganswerstowritteninterrogatoriesF.MotionstoenforceorstopasubpoenaG.MotionsregardingdepositionsH.Discoverycutoffdate

YOU AREHERE

JUDGMENT

PRE-TRIAL MOTION



DISCOVERY

CUSTODY MEDIATION


TRIALTHE

LEG

AL

SYST

EM

PETITION

RESPONSE


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Motions to compel discovery

Ifyourdemandsfordiscoverywereignored,ortheresponseswereinadequate,youmustfileamotiontocompeldiscovery.However,thiscanbackfireifitisdeniedbecausethejudgethinkswhatyouwereaskingforwas totallyunrelatedoroutofproportionto thesizeof the issue.Anothergroundfordenialwouldbewherethejudgefeelssomeone’srighttoprivacyoutweighstheusefulnessoftherecords;forexample,askingforbankingrecordsofanewlive-inofyourspousewhereyourspouseandthelive-inkepttheirfinancesseparate.Ifajudgedeniesyourmotiontocompeldiscovery,pursuanttotheCodeofCivilProcedure,sanctions—thatis,moneyfines—shallbeawarded.

Ifyourattorneyisnotconfidentyouwillwinyourdiscoverymotion,maybeyoushouldnotmakeit.On theotherhand,yourspousehasaduty todiscloseall relevant information,so thecourt shouldsupportlegitimaterequestsandnotpunishyouforaskingforinformation.Discussthisandapossiblesolutionorstrategywithyourlawyer.

Anythingrelevanttomaritalfinancesisdiscoverablewithoutashowingofgoodcause(FamilyCode721(b)).

Preliminaries –things you must do before making your motion Beforeyoucancompeldiscoverybymotionincourt,youfirsthavetomakeareasonableandgoodfaithattemptataninformalresolutionofeachissueinthemotion.Thisusuallymeansthatyouhavetowritealettertotheothersideexplainingwhyyouneedtheinformationand/orhowtheirresponse(iftheysentone)isnotadequate.Iftheyignoredyourrequestforinformationentirely,yourattorneyshouldwritethemandcalltotheirattentionthenecessityofrespondingbyacertaindate,saytendaysaway.Somelocalrulesrequireyoutomeetandconferwiththeothersidebeforemakingamotiontocompel.Yourdiscoverymotionmustbeaccompaniedbyadeclarationstatingwhatyoudidtotrytoresolvetheissuebyagreement.

Procedures for discovery motions Ifyouendupnegotiatingwiththeothersideaboutwhatisdueandwhen,youhavetobeverycarefulnottogetdistractedfromthevariousdeadlines(discussedbelow)forwhensomethingmustbeproducedandwhenyouhavetofileamotiontocompelproductionifyoudon’tgetfullcompliance.Inotherwords,don’tgetdistracted;keepthepaperworkdeadlinesreligiouslyorgetthemextended.

Orderafterhearing.Ifyouarecompellingtheothersidetoanswerquestions,producedocumentsordoanyspecificact,besureadeadlineisincludedinyourorder,suchassayingthatrecordsshouldbeproducedwithin20daysafterthehearing.

TheCodeofCivilProcedurepermitsthejudgetosendyourdiscoverymattersouttoa“referee”or“specialmaster,”inwhichcaseyouwouldhavetopaythatpersontodecideyourdiscoveryissues.Onecase,Hobbsv.SuperiorCourt,72CA4446(May,1999),indicatesthatthecourtsshouldnotsendroutinediscoverymattersout fordecisionbyothersbutonlycases that involvemorecomplicatedor lengthyissues.However,ifthejudgedoessendthematterout,bestnottoarguetheissuewithoutaverygoodreasonfordoingso.

Requesting attorney fees Thecourtswantdiscoverystatutes tobeself-enforcing; that is, theydon’twantyoutohavetocometocourttopryinformationoutoftheotherparty,so,ifyoumakeasuccessfuldiscoverymotion,thecourtmayawardyouattorneyfeesandcosts.Ifyouarerequestingattorneyfees,youmustattachanIncomeandExpenseDeclarationtoyourmotion.

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Responding to a discovery motion

Yourspouseisclearlyentitledtoallfinancial informationinyourpossessionrelatedtomaritalpropertyandyourincomeandexpenses.Iftheothersidewantssomething,unlessitishugelyandobviouslyunreasonable,discusswithyourattorneywhetheryoushouldjustgiveittothem.Iftheyfileadiscoverymotion because you failed to send information or documents, or you sent incomplete information ordocuments,youshouldcomplywithallreasonablerequestsassoonaspossible.Youneedtominimizeattorneyfeesthatmightbeawardedandtrytokeepthejudgefromgettingangryforunnecessarilytakingupthecourt’stime.

YouuseFL-320ResponsiveDeclarationformtorespondtoadiscoverymotion,whereyouneedtoaddressseparatelyeachandeveryitemthatyourspouseclaimsyouhaven’tproduced.Youneedtoexplainwhysuchdocumentsneverwereinyourpossession(suchasyoudon’tgetcanceledcheckswithyourtypeofcheckingaccount),ortheynolongerexist(suchasyouthrowawayyourtaxreturnsafter7years,whichwedon’trecommend),orsomeotherexcuse(suchasyoumovedlastweek,everythingisinboxes,anditwilltaketimetolocatetherecords).

Eachtypeoflegalactionbelow,sectionsD–G,alsoincludesnotesonhowtorespond.

Compelling Declaration of Disclosure

Bothpartiesare required to serveeachotherwith (butnotfilewith thecourt) thePreliminaryDeclarationofDisclosure(PD)andtheFinalDeclarationofDisclosure(FD).ThePDisduesomebythePetitioneratthetimethePetitionisserved,or60daysfromthatdate,andtheRespondentmustservethePDatthetimetheResponseisserved,or60daysfromthatdate.TheFDisdueeitherbeforesigningasettlementagreementoratleast45daysbeforetrial.Ifwhatyouareafterisinformation,itismucheasiertogetitbydiscoveryasdescribedaboveratherthanbytryingtocompeladeclarationofdisclosure—aninvolvedprocedure.

Donotagreewithoutdisclosure!YoumustnotenterintoawrittensettlementagreementunlessyourspousefirstservesyouwithbothaPreliminaryandFinalDeclarationofDisclosure,eitherbeforethesettlementagreementissignedoratthesametime.Makeservingbothdisclosuresanexplicitconditionofanyagreement.Preferably,youwouldnotevennegotiateasettlementwithoutsuchdisclosuresincewithoutit,youareessentiallynegotiatingblind.

Motion to compel production of documents or things

Whenyoumakea request forproduction, if it is entirely ignored,you shouldfileamotion tocompelproduction. If theother sidedoesnotproduce fullyandproperlyordoesnot supplya signedverification(oathdeclaring the truthof the response),youshouldfileamotion tocompel.Theharderdecisioniswhenyourspouseprovidedyouwithsome,butnotall,ofthedocumentsyourequested.

Asyouhavetosendaletterrequestingmoredocuments,yourspousemightsendyouafurtherresponsebeforeyoumakeyourmotion.Ifyourspouseprovidesmoreandmoredocuments,ateachstepofthewayyouneedtodecidewhetheryounowhaveenoughdocumentsorwhetheryouneedtocontinuepressing.Keepinmindthatifonlyonemonth’sbankstatementsismissing,itcouldbetheonestatementthat has the information that is crucial for your case.On theother hand, people losedocuments, andsometimesdocumentsaremissingsimplybecausetheyaremissing.

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Youdon’twanttoappearunreasonabletothejudge,soyouaregoingtoexplainveryclearlyinyourdeclarationsupportingyourdiscoverymotionwhyyouwantthedocumentsyourequested.

Time limit formotion tocompelproduction. Ifyourspousecompletely ignores theRequest toProduce,youdonothaveatimelimittofileamotiontocompel.Asapracticalmatter,youshouldproceedpromptlyandmakeyourmotionwithinamonthorso.However,ifyourspousemakesanevasiveorinadequateresponse,andifthatresponsewasverified,thenyouhaveonly45daysfromthedateyoureceivedaverifiedResponse(orthelatestverifiedsupplementedResponse)inwhichtofileandserveamotiontoforcehim/hertoproduce.Ifyouwanttoserveyourmotionbymail,youmustdosowithin40daysfromthedateyouwereservedwiththeResponse.Donotmissthisdeadline!AssoonasyoureceivetheResponse,calendarthedeadlinetoserveandfilethemotiontocompel.Anappellatecourtinanon-divorcecaseheldthatifapartydoesnotmakethemotionwithin45days,theycannevermakethemotionandtheycannotredotheinitialrequesttoproduceandtherebyrestartthedeadlines.Ontheotherhand,infamilylawthereisafiduciarydutytoprovideinformation,soadifferentoutcomemightresult.Don’ttakeachance.Doyourmotionwellbeforethelastmoment.

Prerequisitetomakingmotiontocompelproduction.Beforemakingthemotion,yourattorneymustwriteyourspouse(orhis/herattorney)aletterexplainwhytheresponsewasinadequateanddemandfurtherresponse.Youarenotwritingthisletteronlyfortheotherside—youknowajudgemightseeit,andyouwantthejudgetoseeclearlywhyyouneedyourdocuments.Therefore,yourletteriswrittensothatastrangercouldunderstandexactlywhatyoumeanwithouthavingtorefertoanyotherdocument.Thelettershouldstandonitsown.Iftheletterdoesnotproduceanadequateresponse,fileamotiontocompelproduction.CodeofCivilProcedurerequiresyourmotiontosetforth“specificfactsshowinggoodcausejustifyingthediscoverysoughtbytheinspectiondemand.”Yourmotionwillrelatethatthisisanactionfordissolutionofmarriage,andtheotherpartyhasafiduciarydutytoprovideyouwithinformation,thenexplainwhyeachparticularitemshouldbeproduced.

Yourmotionwillbeasdescribedinchapter12,butwiththemodificationsshownbelow.Intheseexamples,weassumethemovingpartyisPetitioner,butitcouldbetheotherwayaround.

How to resist a Motion to Compel Production

Ingeneral,anydocumentreasonablyrelatedtoyourdivorceshouldbeproduced.Unreasonablerefusalwillultimatelymakethejudgeangryandcouldcostyousanctions.However,theremaybesituationsinwhichitisreasonabletoresistproduction:

1.Youdon’thaveit,andyouneverhadit,andyoucan’tgetitwithreasonableeffort.2.Thedocumenthasbeendestroyedforsomelegitimatereason.Forexample,youdestroycopiesoftaxreturnsafter7years,soyouhavetocontacttheIRStogetacopy(andyouyourselfpreparedthereturnsocan’tgetacopyfromataxpreparer)andthiswilltaketime.ThecourtwillexpectyoutocontacttheIRSandgetthecopy.3.Thedocumentneverexisted.4.Youhavemovedandhavemanyboxesofrecordswhichyoucan’tcheckoutinthetimetorespond.

You’vetriedtofindtherequesteddocument,butsofarcannot.Youneedmoretime.

Ifanyoftheseapply,explainitinyourResponsiveDeclaration.Youwanttomakeitcleartothejudgethatthediscoveryrequestisunreasonableorthatthereisareasonwhyyoucan’tcomply.Youcansaythediscoverymotionis“harassment,”butifthefactsdon’tshowthat,merelyflingingtheaccusationwon’thelp.Ineveryotherregard,followinstructionsinchapter14forrespondingtoamotion.


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Compelling answers to written interrogatories

Whenyousendwritten interrogatories (formorspeciallydrafted), if theyareentirely ignored,youneedtofileamotiontocompel.Iftheothersidemadesomesortofanswersbuttherewasnosignedverification (oathdeclaring the truthof the answers), you shouldfile amotion to compel.Theharderdecisioniswhenyourspouseprovidedyouwithvague,evasiveorinadequateanswersandobjectedtosomeofthequestions.

Yourdeclarationsupportingyourmotionmustcontainaseparatestatementexplainingwhyeachquestionisnecessarytoyourcase.Ofcourse,ifyouareaskingaverybasicquestionlike,“Onwhatdatedoyoucontendthatthepartiesseparated?”thisisclearlyrelevantinformation.Ontheotherhand,ifyouareaskingadetailedquestionaboutpersonalfinances,youmightwanttoexplaintherelevanceinmoredetail.Ifyourspousewroteinitialanswers,thenyousentaletteraskingformoreanswers,thenhe/shesentyouanadditionalresponse,everystepwillbesetoutinyourmotion.Yourdeclarationalsomustsetforththeeffortsyoumadetoreachanagreementregardingtheneedtoanswertheinterrogatories.

TheRulesofCourtsaysyourstatementsmustsetout the textofeachquestionor request thatisinissueandthetextofeachresponseyoureceived,andastatementoffactualandlegalreasonsforcompellingfurtherresponsesorproduction.Youcan’tattachanythingorrefertoitbyreference;insteadyoumustreproduceorsummarizethatothermaterialhereinthisstatement.

Deadline forfiling amotion. If your spouse completely ignoredyour interrogatories, or if theresponsewasnotverified,thereisnodeadlinetomakeyourmotion.Butifyoureceivedverifiedresponses,yourmotionmustbefiledandservedwithin45daysoftheserviceoftheresponses,oranysupplementalresponses,oronorbeforeanyspecificlaterdatetowhichthepartieshaveagreedinwriting.

How to resist a motion to compel answers to written interrogatories Ifyourspousehasaskedyoureasonablequestionsthatareclearenoughthatyoucanunderstandthem,youshouldanswerthemassoonasyoucan,evenafterthemotionisservedonyou.Ifyoutrytoavoidansweringreasonablequestions,youmighthavetopayyourspouse’sfeesincurredinforcingyoutoanswer.Ifyourspousesentyouextremelyburdensomeinterrogatoriesthatareobviouslyandsolelyforthepurposeofharassment,youcanlegitimatelyobject,butyouhavetoexplainwhy.Thefactthatyourspouseknowstheanswerisnotanobjection;yourspouseisentitledtoknowwhatyousayaboutit.

If you feel that your spouse’s questions infringe on your privacy in your life since you haveseparated, suchasverypersonalquestionsabout someoneyouare seeing,youspeak toyourattorneyaboutfightingthisinvasionofyourprivacy.However,ifyouareinvolvedinacustody/visitationcase,andthisnewpersonwillbearoundyourchildren,thiscouldbeavalidinquiry.Ifyourefusetoanswerthequestion,explaintheprivacyissueinyourstatement.TheCaliforniaStateConstitutionguaranteesprivacyasaright,sojudgesaresensitivetothisissue.Yourspousewilleitheracceptyourrefusalorfileamotiontocompelananswer,inwhichcaseyoufileaResponsiveDeclarationsettingforthyourposition.Usually,youcanmerelywriteaclearexplanationastoeachquestionyourefusetoanswer,butforacomplexcasemorecase-specificadvicefromyourlawyerwillbenecessary.

Motions to enforce or stop a subpoena

Technically,whensomeoneisservedwithasubpoena,theburdenisonthemtofileamotiontoquashit.However,peoplewillsometimejustignorethesubpoena.Thatputstheonewhodidthesubpoenaintothedifficultpositionofhavingtofileamotionagainstsomeonewhoisnotapartytotheaction.

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Aswithalldiscoverymotions,itisagoodideatowritealettertothespouseandtothewitnessbeforeyoumakethemotionsothejudgewillknowthatyoureallyhadnochoicebuttotakeittocourt.

Howtostoporlimitasubpoena Youcouldsimplyignoreasubpoena,inwhichcasetheissuingpartywouldhavetomakeamotiontoforceyoutocomply,thenyourespond.However,ifyouignoreasubpoenatocometocourtwithoutagoodreason,thejudgeisgoingtobeveryunhappy.Bettertofileamotionto“quash”thesubpoena.Ifyouwantprotectionfromasubpoena,orifyouwanttoprotectawitness(suchasatherapistornewmate),whowasservedwithasubpoena,youcanfileamotionto“quash”orlimitthesubpoena.Ifitis“quashed,”thesubpoenaiscompletelyrejectedbythecourt;otherwise,thejudgemightchoosemerelytolimititsterms.

Ifaconsumersubpoenawasservedimproperly,youcanmovetoquashit.Forexample,iftherewasnoconsumeroremployeenotice,thenyoucouldstoptheproduction,orifthepartywasnotservedatleastfivedaysbeforethewitnesswasserved,thatisanothergroundforobjection.However,movingtoquashisalotofworkandiftherecordsarerelevantandthesubpoenaisreasonable,youwouldonlydelaytheinevitable.

Objecttoproductionofprivilegedrecords.Ifyourspousetriedtosubpoenayourcounselingormedicalrecords,unlessyouhaveyourselfmadeanissueofyourmentalorphysicalcondition,youcanobjecttoproductionofsuchrecords.Thebestwaytoobjectistofileamotiontoquashthesubpoena.Youshouldalsoimmediatelycontactyourtherapistordoctoranddirecthim/hernottoproducetherecordswithoutacourtorder.

Motions regarding depositions

Ifyouservedapersonorinstitutionwithasubpoena,andhe/sheignoredit,orifsomeonecametoadepositionandrefusedtoanswerortoproducedocumentsunderasubpoena,youcanfileamotiontocompelthemtoabidebydiscoveryrules.However,youmuststudyallofCodeofCivilProceduresection2025indetailandcomplywithit.

How to resist a deposition

Anypersonservedwithadepositionnotice—eitherapartyoranywitness—canfileamotiontostoporlimitthedeposition.

Toavoidproducingdocuments, thepersonservedwiththesubpoenaordepositionnoticemustservetheothersidewithawrittenobjectionatleastthreecalendardaysbeforethedeposition,specifyingtheerrororirregularity.Anydepositiontakenaftertheserviceofawrittenobjectionshallnotbeusedagainsttheobjectingpartyifthepartydidnotattendthedepositionandifthecourtdeterminesthattheobjectionwasvalid.Inaddition,apartycanmoveforanorderstayingorpreventingthetakingofthedeposition,andthedepositionwillbestayed(putoff)untilthemotioncanbeheardanddecided.Thismotionmustbeaccompaniedbyadeclarationshowingthatyoutriedtoresolvethematterinformally.

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Additionally,before,during,orafteradeposition,anypartyordeponentcanmoveforaprotectiveorder.Theusualdeclarationregardingtryingforinformalresolutionmustbeincluded.Thecourt,forgoodcauseshown,maymakeanyorderthatjusticerequirestoprotectanyonefromunwarrantedannoyance,embarrassment, oppression, or undueburden and expense.There aremanykinds of protectiveordersincluding,butnotlimitedto,ordersthat:(1)Thedepositionnotbetakenatall.(2)Thedepositionbetakenatadifferenttime.(3)Thedepositionbetakenataplaceotherthanthatspecifiedinthedepositionnotice.(4)Thedepositionbetakenonlyoncertainspecifiedtermsandconditions.(5)Thetestimonyberecordedinamannerdifferentfromthatspecifiedinthedepositionnotice.(6)Certainmattersnotbeinquiredinto.(7)Thescopeoftheexaminationbelimitedtocertainmatters.(8)Allorcertainofthewritingsortangiblethingsdesignatedinthedepositionnoticenotbeproduced,inspected,orcopied.(9)Designatedpersons,otherthanthepartiestotheactionandtheircounsel,beexcludedfromattendingthedeposition.(10)Atradesecretorotherconfidentialresearch,development,orcommercialinformationnotbedisclosed,ordisclosedonlytospecifiedpersonsorinaspecifiedway.(11)Thedepositionbesealedandthereafteropenedonlyonorderofthecourt.If themotion foraprotectiveorder isdenied inwholeor inpart, thecourtcanorder thedeponent toprovideorpermitthediscoverysought.

Discovery cutoff date

CodeofCivilProcedurerequiresdiscoverytobecompletedatleast30daysbeforetheinitialtrialdate,anddiscoverymotionsmustbeheardatleast15daysbefore.Discoveryisconsideredcompletedonthedayaresponseisdueoronthedayadepositionbegins.Onceyouhaveatrialdateset,youmustbesuretogetyourdiscoverydonewellinadvanceofthesedeadlines.Evenifyourtrialispostponed,thisdoesnotreopendiscoveryunlessyouobtainacourtordertoreopenit.

Ifyousendoutinterrogatoriestoyourspousebymail,yourspousehas35daystoanswer;ifhe/shedoesnotanswerorhe/shegivesincompleteorevasiveanswers,youneedtofileaRequestForOrdertocompel,andyourspouseisentitledto21days’notice(26ifmailed)plustimeafterthehearingtoprepareanswers.Soyoucanseethatthisonepartofdiscoverycouldeasilyrequireseveralmonthsand,asyouhavetocompleteitby30daysbeforetrial,youmuststartalmostahalf-yearbeforethetrialtoensurethatyoucanaccomplishthisonethingalone.Don’tprocrastinate.

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Figure 18.1DECLARATION RE MOTION TO COMPEL PRODUCTION

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Declaration of Petitioner re Motion to Compel Production of Documents


Case No. [Your case number] DECLARATION OF PETITIONER RE

MOTION TO COMPEL PRODUCTION OF DOCUMENTS

I, the undersigned, state:

I am the petitioner herein.

This is an action for dissolution of marriage, including

issues of support, property and custody/visitation.

On or about [date], I caused a Request for Production of

Documents to be served on respondent. Respondent failed to

respond to the request (in whole OR in part and if it is in

part:) and has failed to identify and/or produce the terms as set

out below.

I am informed and believe that the items set forth below are

relevant to the subject matter of this action and are reasonably

calculated to lead to discovery of admissible evidence, and good

cause exists for their production.

ITEM 1:

a. Request: [Set forth the request exactly as it

appeared in your Request for Production. Example:] Federal

income tax returns of the respondent for the years [year] through

[year], including all attached schedules, W-2 forms, 1099 forms

and K-1 forms and any an all amended returns and attachments,

regardless of whether filed solely or jointly with another

individual.


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Figure 18.2DECLARATION RE MOTION TO COMPEL PRODUCTION

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Declaration of Petitioner re Motion to Compel Production of Documents

b. Response: [Set forth the response exactly as you

received it. Example:] It is objected that the income tax

returns for said years are privileged because they were filed

jointly with my present spouse.

c. Argument and Factual Contentions: [Explain why the

item should be produced. Example:] This action involves issues

of child and spousal support, and the income tax returns are not

privileged.

On or about [date], I wrote to Respondent[‘s attorney] and

requested that he/she respond [further] to the request to

produce; see copy of letter attached hereto and made part hereof.

I received no further response as a result of that letter OR I

received the following response to that letter:

Respondent’s failure to respond, object to the request, or

failure to comply with the request was without substantial

justification.

I declare under penalty of perjury under the laws of the

State of California that the foregoing is true and correct.

Executed on [date] at [City], California.

__________________________ YOUR NAME, Petitioner


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Figure 18.3DECLARATION RE MOTION TO COMPELANSWERS TO INTERROGATORIES (page 1)

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Declaration of Petitioner re Motion to Compel Answers to Written Interrogatories

Marriage of YOUR LAST NAME and SPOUSE LAST NAME


DECLARATION OF PETITIONER RE

MOTION TO COMPEL ANSWERS TO WRITTEN INTERROGATORIES





On or about [date], I caused Written Interrogatories (first

set, specially drafted) to be served on respondent. Respondent

failed to respond to the interrogatories (in whole OR in part)

and/or failed to provide a written verification under penalty of

perjury, all as set out below.



calculated to lead to discovery of admissible evidence.

[If some answers were served, give the following information for

each item for which you need more information.]

ITEM 1:

a. Question: [Set forth the question exactly as it

appeared in your Interrogatories. Example:] State your full

name and address.


received it. Example:] Joe Jones.


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Figure 18.4DECLARATION RE MOTION TO COMPELANSWERS TO INTERROGATORIES (page 2)

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Declaration of Petitioner re Motion to Compel Answers to Written Interrogatories



DECLARATION OF PETITIONER RE

MOTION TO COMPEL ANSWERS TO WRITTEN INTERROGATORIES





On or about [date], I caused Written Interrogatories (first

set, specially drafted) to be served on respondent. Respondent

failed to respond to the interrogatories (in whole OR in part)

and/or failed to provide a written verification under penalty of

perjury, all as set out below.



calculated to lead to discovery of admissible evidence.

[If some answers were served, give the following information for

each item for which you need more information.]

ITEM 1:

a. Question: [Set forth the question exactly as it

appeared in your Interrogatories. Example:] State your full

name and address.


received it. Example:] Joe Jones.


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Figure 18.5DECLARATION RE MOTION TO ENFORCE SUBPOENA

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Declaration of Petitioner re Motion to Enforce Subpoena



DECLARATION OF PETITIONER RE MOTION TO ENFORCE SUBPOENA



This is an action for dissolution of marriage, including issues

of support, property and custody/visitation.

On or about [date], I caused a Subpoena Duces Tecum re Deposition

to be served on respondent’s employer [company] Company. (A copy of

the subpoena along with the proof of personal service is attached

hereto and made part hereof.) Said employer failed to respond to the

subpoena and has failed to produce the items as set out in the

subpoena.

The items set forth in the subpoena are relevant to the subject

matter of this action and are reasonably calculated to lead to

discovery of admissible evidence, and good cause exists for their

production. The subpoena requests payroll information regarding

respondent. Respondent has failed and refused to produce any income

information including income tax returns. Respondent did produce

what purport to be copies of paystubs, but they are printouts from

a computer, and I am afraid respondent printed them out at home.

Therefore, I attempted to subpoena the wage information directly from

respondent’s employer, and now the employer has ignored the subpoena.


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Figure 18.6DECLARATION RE MOTION TO ENFORCE SUBPOENA

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Declaration of Petitioner re Motion to Enforce Subpoena

The employer did not write or object. They just entirely ignored the

subpoena.

The employer’s failure to respond, object to the request, or

failure to comply with the request was without substantial

justification.

I am requesting an order that [company] Company comply with the

subpoena that was served on them, and that they produce the requested

records within ten days after the hearing of this motion.

I declare under penalty of perjury under the Laws of the State

of California that the foregoing is true and correct.

Executed on [date], at [City], California.

_________________________________ YOUR NAME, Petitioner


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Figure 18.7DECLARATION RE MOTION TO QUASH SUBPOENA

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Declaration of Petitioner re Motion to Quash Subpoena



DECLARATION OF RESPONDENT RE

MOTION TO QUASH SUBPOENA


I am the respondent herein.

This is an action for dissolution of marriage, including issues

of support, property and custody/visitation.

On or about [date], Petitioner caused a Subena Duces Tecum re

Deposition to be served on my friend [name], a friend of mine whom

I have been dating since separation. (Copies of the subpoena and

notice of taking deposition are attached hereto and made part hereof.)

The subpoena and deposition are calculated to harass my friend and

interfere with their privacy, not to produce discoverable

information. For this reason, on or about [date], I wrote to

petitioner[‘s attorney] and requested that he/she agree to cancel the

subpoena; see copy of letter attached hereto and made part hereof.

I received no response to that letter.

Petitioner has requested that my friend bring to the deposition

all of their financial information and credit card statements as shown

on the attached subpoena. My friend and I have completely separate

finances, and my friend’s information has no relevance to this

divorce.


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Figure 18.8DECLARATION RE MOTION TO QUASH SUBPOENA

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Declaration of Petitioner re Motion to Quash Subpoena

I request that unless petitioner can show good cause for taking

my friend’s deposition, the subpoena be entirely quashed as it invades

my privacy, my friend’s privacy and is solely for the purpose of

harassment. Alternatively, I request that the court quash each item

requested in the subpoena for which petitioner does not show good

cause for production, and that the court limit the scope of the

deposition to only financial matters relevant to this case or contact

my friend may have had with the children. However, my friend has had

no contact with the children and has not even met them (as the

deposition will confirm).

I declare under penalty of perjury under the Laws of the State

of California that the foregoing is true and correct.

Executed on [date], at [City], California.

_________________________________ YOUR NAME, Respondent


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CHAPTER 19VOCATIONAL (and other) EXAMINATIONS

General information Themostcommonsituationwhereanexaminationofaspousemightbeorderedwouldbeifyoucontendthatyourspousecouldgetajoborgetabetterjob—inotherwords,couldbemakingmoremoney.Tothisend,thecourtcouldorderavocationalevaluation.Lesscommoniswhereyouhaveagoodreasonforwantingapsychologicalorphysicalevaluation.Ineithercase,thematterwillhavetobeassignedtoaqualifiedexperttodotheexamination.

Locatinganexpert.Foranykindofexam,youaregoing tohave tofindaqualifiedexpert.Thebestwaywouldbeyourattorneyreferyoutosomeonewithwhomtheyhaveworkedinthepast.Forthoserepresenting themselves, theymightfind thatmanyexpertswillnotworkwithnon-representedpersons.Period.Theydon’twantthebotherofworkingwithemotionalpeoplewhodon’tunderstandlegalprocedures.

A.GeneralinformationB.ocationalevaluationC.MentalorphysicalexaminationD.Drug/alcoholexaminationE.Otherexaminations

A

YOU AREHERE

JUDGMENT

PRE-TRIAL MOTION



DISCOVERY

CUSTODY MEDIATION


TRIALTHE

LEG

AL

SYST

EM

PETITION

RESPONSE


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Vocational evaluation

If you feel your spouse is notworking at capacity, you can request a vocational examination.Althoughthereare“seekworkorders”whereacourtwillorderapersontofindemploymentandshowthecourttheirbesteffortstodoso,inrealityjudges,noranybodyforthatmatter,canactuallyforceapersontoworkwhoisnototherwisemotivatedtodoso.However,ifanexaminerfindsyourspouseisqualifiedforahigherlevelofincomeorincreasedhoursofworkandthatsuitablejobsareavailable,thejudgecan“impute”income—thatis,insteadofusingactualincometocomputesupport,thejudgeusesahigheramounttoapproximatewhatyourspousecouldbeearning.Iftheexaminerrecommendsacourseofeducationortrainingtoprepareforhigherincome,thecourtcouldorderit,thenreevaluatesupportaftertheprogramisorshouldbecompleted.

Avocationalevaluationshouldconsistofinterviewsandpossiblywrittenteststodeterminewhatabilitiesandexperienceyourspousehas.Theevaluatorwillwriteareportfortheattorneyand/orthecourtthatshouldreviewyourspouse’seducation,skills,workexperience,interestsandgoals(orlackthereof).Theevaluatorshouldmakearecommendationastowhatemploymentand/oreducationalopportunitiesyourspouseshouldpursueandindicatespecificallyhowmuchmoneyyourspousecouldmakeifhe/shetookvariousemploymentpaths.

Ifyourspousewillnotvoluntarilysubmit toavocationalevaluation,amotioncanbemadetocompelhim/hertosubmittoit.Generally,ifaspouseisnotemployedfull-time,orifthereissomeclearindicationofnotworkinguptofullcapacity,avocationalevaluationwillbeordered.Ofcourse,youwillhavetopayfortheevaluation,whichcanbequiteexpensive,plusthecostofcourtroomtestimonylaterifthereshouldbeatrialorhearingontheissue.

First, locate a vocational evaluator.Your lawyer should have recommendations for a qualifiedvocationalevaluatorwhoisexperiencedinfamilylawmatters,includingtestifyingifnecessary.Withtherecommendations,youshouldintervieweachoneandmakeyourownselectionbasedonstandardssimilartoyourinterviewprocessofselectinganattorney.Inotherwords,askthemabouttheirqualifications,theirexperience,andwhattheywillbedoingforyouspecifically.Aftertheinterview,trustyourgutandproceed.

Sendarequestbeforemakingamotion.Yourlawyershouldwritealettertoyourspouse(orhis/herattorney)andaskyourspousetosubmitvoluntarilytoavocationalevaluation.Providethename,addressandphonenumberofyourchosenevaluator.Giveyourspouseatimelimittorespond,suchastendaysafterthedateoftheletter,beforeyoumakeyourmotion.

Givetheevaluatoryourinput.Ifyourspouseagreestodotheevaluation,orifthecourtordersone,youshouldcontact theevaluator rightawayand lethim/herknowyourversionofyourspouse’seducation,workhistoryandskills.Ifyouhave,forexample,recentcollegetranscripts—whichyoucanobtainthroughdiscoveryasdiscussedinchapter17—youshouldgivethemtothevocationalevaluator.Youneedsomeinputintothisprocesstoensurethatyourspousedoesnottelltheevaluatoralotofbaloneythatmightbebelievedwithoutyourinput.Aftertheevaluatorhastalkedtoyourspouse,youneedtotalktotheevaluatoragainasarealitycheck.Whenyouareselectingtheevaluator,explainattheverybeginningthatyouwantthiskindofcontact.

Resistingrequestsforexaminationisdiscussedattheendofeachsection.

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How to file a motion for vocational evaluation Themotionwillbebasicallyasdescribedinchapter12.Acopyoftheletteraskingyourspousetovoluntarilysubmittothisevaluationaswellasanywrittenresponsehe/shemadewillbeattachedtothemotion.

How to respond to a motion for vocational evaluation Seechapter14abouthowtorespondtoamotion,andconsiderthefollowingsteps.Countermovestoamotionforvocationalevaluationinclude:

•Getasuitablejobataboutyourbestlevelofpay.•Keeprecordsshowingadiligentjobsearch.Keepinmindthatyourspouseorhis/herlawyermightcontactthecompaniesyousaidyoucontactedseekingwork.•Bring inmedical records and possibly call a doctor as awitness (or get the doctor’sdeclaration)toshowyoucannotworkformedicalreasons.•Bringinamentalhealthpractitioner(ordeclarationofone)toshowyouremotionalproblemsdisableyoufromworking.•Getyourownvocationalevaluation.

If you contend that physical or mental problems limit your ability to work, your spouse cansubpoenayourmedicalandmental/counselingrecordsandtakedepositionsofyourdoctorsandcounselors.Anythingembarrassingthatturnsupcanbeusedagainstyouinthecustodycaseevenifdiscoveredaspartofvocationalevaluation.Therefore,beforeyouraisementalorphysicalproblems,thinkaboutwhatisinyourrecordsthatyoumightnotwantyourspousetoread.Youcouldcallyourdoctorortherapistandaskhis/heropiniononthis.Keepinmindthatforpurposesofbillinganinsurancecompany,yourtherapistwillhavelistedadiagnosis,soevenifhis/hernotesaren’tusedagainstyou,thediagnosiscouldbe.

Ifyouareordered toseeavocationalevaluator,youwant tobeviewedascooperative. Ifyouacthostileorresistant, thiscouldbeheldagainstyouincourt.Youmighthavebeenforcedtodothisevaluation,butyoustillneedtoshowsomesemblanceofcooperation.Youwanttowinthevocationalevaluatorovertothepositionthatyouareworkingashardasyoucanatthebestjobyoucangetandyouaregoingtodothisalotbetterwithhoneythanwithvinegar. Mental or physical examination

Becausementalexaminationsandphysicalexaminationsaresubjecttothesamerules,theyarediscussedtogether.However,physicalexamsarequiterare,sowefocushereonpsychologicalevaluations.Similarconsiderationsapplytoboth.

Doyoureallywantanexam?Alotofpeoplefeeltheirexneedshis/herheadexamined,butactuallygettingitdonecanbeaproblem.Unlessyourspouseputmentalorphysicalconditioninissuebysayinghe/shecan’twork,theorderisgoingtobemutual,meaningthatifyougetanorder,youcanbeexamined,too.Unfortunately,alotofdubiousmentalhealth“experts”haveattachedthemselvestofamilycourts,makingtheoutcomeofanyexamsomethingofagamble.Ajudge,notbeingamentalhealthexpert,mightdirectspecificquestionstotheexpert.Anethicalpsychologistshouldnotanswerquestionsthatarereallymoralorsocialjudgmentsratherthansomethingthatcanbebasedonpsychologicalresearch.Iftherearenostatistics,nodata,noresearch,thepsychologist’sopinionisnobetterthanyoursorthejudge’s.Itisunethicalformentalhealthexpertstogivesuchopinions,buttheydoitallthetime.

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Thejudgecanmakehis/herjobeasierbyhavingthementalhealthpersonanswerquestionsthatshouldreallybedecidedbythejudge.Themoneyforforensic(court)workisgood,somanypsychologistswillanswerquestionstheyshouldn’tforfearthejudgewillstartusingsomeonewhowillanswersuchquestions.A psychologist might be asked, “Is the father’s anger against the mother justified?”Anypsychologistwhotriestoanswerthatisunquestionablyoutsidehis/herareaofexpertiseandisusurpingthe court’s function. The same can even be said as to psychologists whomake custody evaluations.Thoserecommendationsarereallymoral-social-political-personal,andthedecisionshouldbemade(notrubber-stamped)bythejudge.YoushouldbeverycarefulbeforeyouopenthePandora’sBoxofmentalevaluations.Itcouldeasilymakethingsworseratherthanbetter.

Recordsremainconfidential.Counselingandmedicalrecordsremainprivilegedandconfidentialunlessthepartyraisestheissueofhis/hercondition.Justaskingforcustodyorvisitationdoesnotputone’sphysicalormentalconditionatissue,butifapartysayshe/shecannotworkbecauseofamedicalcondition,medicalrecordscanbeopened.Similarly,ifapartysaysanemotionalconditionlimitsabilitytowork,his/herrecordslosetheirprivilege.Notethatapartycanonlyputhis/herownconditionatissue.Onecannotopenuptheotherparty’smentalhealthrecordsbyaccusingtheotherofbeingtooemotionallyunstabletocareforchildren.However,ifyourspousehasahistoryofmentalhospitalizationandrefusestopermitrecordstobeexamined,inacustodycaseapsychologicalevaluationmightbeappropriate.Evenso,medical/counselingrecordsremainconfidentialunlessthepartysignsarelease.IfanyonefromFamilyCourtServices, the judge,anexpert—anyoneatall—asksyoutosignaformgivingthemtheright toreviewyourmedicalorcounselingrecords,youhavethelegalrighttosayno.

First,locateanevaluator.Beforeyoucandoanythingelse,youhavetomakeanarrangementwithanexpertwhowillagreetodotheevaluationandreportforyou.HowyoudothisisdescribedinsectionA,above.Onceyoufindsomeonewhowilldothejob,askabouttheirfeesandifadownpaymentisrequired.Youcan’tproceeduntilyouhavelinedupyourevaluator.

Expertsmustbequalified.TheCodeofCivilProcedureprovidesthatamentalevaluationcanbeperformedonlybyalicensedclinicalpsychologistwhoholdsaPh.D.inpsychologyandhashadatleastfiveyearsofpostgraduateexperienceinthediagnosisofemotionalandmentaldisorders.Moreimportant,youwantsomeonewhowillbefairtobothmothersandfathersandnotdealwithyouinstereotypes.Trytomake sure that someonequalifiedhandles your case.Unfortunately, somepsychologistswho can’tmaintainaprivatepracticehavegoneintocourtwork,sotherecanbeaproblem.

Sendarequestbeforemakingamotion.Yourattorneywillwritealettertoyourspouse(orhis/herattorney),andaskyourspousetosubmitvoluntarilytomental(orphysical)examination.Theletterwillprovidethename,addressandphonenumberofyourchosenevaluator.Theletterwillgiveyourspouseatimelimittorespond,suchastendaysafterthedateoftheletter,beforeyouwillmakethemotion.Inpractice,ifamentalexamisreallyappropriate,itprobablywon’tbedonebyagreement.Nonetheless,youshouldtry.

Motionforpsychologicalevaluation.Subsection(d)ofSection2032providesthatanyonewhowantstogetamentalexaminationmustfileamotiontogetthecourt’spermissionfortheexam.Thelawalsosays,“Themotionfortheexaminationshallspecifythetime,place,manner,conditions,scope,andnatureoftheexamination,aswellastheidentityandthespecialty,ifany,ofthepersonorpersonswhowillperformtheexamination.”Youmustalsoattachadeclarationshowingthatyoutriedtogetavoluntaryagreementfortheexam.Section2032hasdetailedprovisionsthatareusuallyfollowedin,say,aninjurylawsuit,butthingsareoftenmoreinformalinfamilycourt.


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Goodcausemustbeshown.Section2032indicatesthatthecourtshallgrantamotionforaphysicalormentalexaminationonlyfor“goodcauseshown.”Mostjudgesthinkthemerefactthatthereisadivorcewithacustodybattleisgoodcausefororderingapsychologicalevaluation.Thisishighlydebatableandtoassumeitwouldleaveyouopentoattack.Itwouldbebestifyourmotionexplainswhyinyourparticularcasethereissomeindicationofaneedfortheevaluation.Assumingthefactssupportyourassertion,youatleastwanttosaythatyourspouseisactingerratic,ordepressed,orsuicidalorwhatever,andthatthisemotionalconditionisinterferingwithhis/herabilitytocareforthechildren.

The code also provides that the order granting a physical ormental examination shall specifythepersonorpersonswhomayperformtheexamination,andthetime,place,manner,diagnostictestsand procedures, conditions, scope, and nature of the examination.Most peoplemaking amotion forpsychologicalevaluationhavenoideawhattestswillbedone.Infact,itwouldbemostunusualtoincludethisinyourmotion,butitisrequiredunderthelawandsomedaythislawmightbeapplied.

Themotionwouldbeasdescribedinchapter12. How to resist a request for mental or physical evaluation CodeofCivilProceduresection2032governsmentalevaluations.Itiswidelytreatedasifitdoesnotapplytodivorces,butitdoes.Ifyouwanttoresistapsychologicalevaluation,youshouldatleastinsistthatthebasicrequirementsoftheCodeofCivilProcedurebeapplied.Evenifyoudon’twanttoavoidtheexamaltogether,thecodesectionmaybeusedtoensurethattheexamyouareorderedtoundergowillatleastmakesomesense.

You can object if themotion is too informal. In custody cases, psychological evaluations aresometimesorderedwithoutaspecificmotion.FamilyCourtServicesmighttrytoforceoneonyou,orperhaps the courtwill order it after someonemakes an oral request. Some judges are in the habit oforderingexamsunderEvidenceCode730evenwithnomotionatallbeingmade.Noneofthisisproper.Anobjectionshouldbemadeifthishappens.Yourattorneyneedsatleasttosayontherecord—thatis,inthecourtroomwiththecourtreporterwritingorthevideotaperunning—“YourHonor,Iobject.”That’sminimum.Evenbettertoadd,“Nogoodcausehasbeenshownforsuchanexamination.”Andbetteryettostate,“CodeofCivilProceduresection2032.310requiresanoticedmotionbeforeanysuchexaminationcanbeordered.”Unfortunately,objectingtothejudgewhomadetheorderisswimmingupstream,butitshouldbeontherecordanyway.

Goodcauseshouldberequired.Regardlessofwhetheritisyourspouse,thejudge,orFamilyCourtServicesthatwantstheexam,goodcauseshouldberequired.Havingtosubmittoamentalexamorderedbythegovernmentisintrusive.Merelyenteringintoadivorcewithcustodyissuesshouldnotbyitselfbeconsideredgoodcausetoorderamentalevaluation.Thatcanbesaidtoo,aspartofyourobjection.

Whattestsshouldbespecifiedintheorder?Judgesvirtuallyneverspecifywhattestsshouldbeused.Thatmakessensefromtheirpointofview,asvirtuallynotestshaveanythingtodowithcustodyorabilitytoparent,andcertainlynotwiththeparent-childrelationship.ThemostcommonlyusedtestistheMMPI2test,andthereisnoevidencethatitisofanyuseatallinacustodycase.Itismerelyconvenientand,becauseitiscomputer-scored,itappearstobeobjective.Butifyoustudythesetests,youwillfindthatagreatdealofpersonaljudgmentisinvolved.ThejudgesthinktheyarereceivingScientificTruthandtendtoover-relyonthepsychologicalreports.Ifyouwanttoresistsuchatest,youshouldobjectandinsistthattheorderspecifythetests.Atthehearingontheissue,youcouldbringanexpertPh.D.psychologisttosaythesetestshavenothingtodowithcustody.Atpresentthereismajoroverrelianceonthesetests.Theoverrelianceamountsoftentoanabdicationofjudicialresponsibilitywhichisvirtuallyhandedovertotheso-calledexpertpsychologist.


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Whattodoaftersuchtestsareordered?Ifthepsychologicalevaluationwascrammeddownyourthroatsuddenlyatcourtbyaverbalrequestfromyouropponentorbythecourtitself,youcanattempttofileamotionaskingthecourttorescinditsorder.Thismightnotbesuccessful,butitwillhelpyouto“makearecord.”Ifyouendupgettingcrucifiedbythepsychologicalexaminer,thismotioncouldatleastlaythelegalbasisforappealorlaterobjection.Also,evenifitislost,youhopeitwillbegintomakeyourjudgethinkaboutthefactthatpossiblythesetestsarenotGod’sTruth.

Ifyouenduphavingtobeexamined, it isveryimportant tocooperatewiththeexaminer.Youwant theexaminer tomakea recommendation inyour favor, right?Beeven-tempered, respectfulandthoughtful.Staycalmandopen.Becausepsychologicalevaluationsarehighlysubjective,charmingtheexaminerisveryimportant.Evenifyoudidnotwanttheexam,itwillnothelptoletthepsychologistknowhowmuchyouresentbeingthere.Showyourbestside.Ifthispersonisexaminingyourspouseaswell,youneedtobringobjectivedocumentationthatwillsupportanyconcernsyouhave,suchasacopyofcourtrecordsshowingthatyourspousehasadrunkdrivingorspousalabuseconviction,orthekidsneverdotheirhomeworkwhentheyspendthenightatyourspouse’shouse,oryourspousealwaysbringsthekidstoschoollate.Don’tjustsay,“Myexisanalcoholicandwasconvictedofdrunkdriving.”Bringcopiesofdocumentsordeclarationsofothers.Eveniftheexaminerdoesnotaskforthem,offerthem.

Drug/alcohol examination

Bloodandurinetestswilldeterminewhatsubstances(drugs,alcohol,etc.)theparenthastakenduringthepastfourtoeighthours.Obviously,thisisusefulonlywheresomeoneissodeeplysunkintoaddictionoralcoholismthattheydon’tevergowithoutforanyperiodoftime,orwhereyougetasurpriseorderfromthecourtthatthepersonmustgostraightfromcourttothetestingcenter.However,wenowhaveahairtestavailable,too.Hairislikeadiary,recordingallthesubstancesthathavebeentakenforthelastcoupleofmonths.Shavingone’sheadwon’tavoidthetestashaircanbetakenfromwherever.Thehairtestisagoodtoolforfindingthetruth.

Parentsshouldstopusingdrugsandalcohol.Inthepastbloodandurinetestswouldnotrevealtheuseofmarijuana,butitcannowbeprovedbymeansofhairtests.So,wearenowseeingcaseswhereaparentislimitedtosupervisedvisitationbecauseahairtestrevealedmarijuanause.Youcan’tproveyouonlyuseitwhenyourchildrenarenotpresent.Ifyouareinacustodyorvisitationcase,youwouldbefoolishnottogiveupallalcoholanddrugs,evenmarijuana.Thisisverypracticaladvice,andhasnothingwhatevertodowithmoralityorsocialvalues.

Toobtainadrug/alcoholexam,youneedmore thananaccusation.Drugandalcohol testing isordered regularly in family court.However, apartywill probablynotbeordered to submit to testingjustonthebasisofanaccusationbyaspouse.Someindependentevidenceofsubstanceabuseisusuallyrequired;forexample,arecentconvictionfordrunkdrivingoradrug-oralcohol-relatedcrime,orthedeclarationof an independentwitness. If aparent just quietlydrinks intooblivionnightly, or smokesmarijuanainprivate,gettingatestcouldbedifficult.However,whentestingisordered,itissometimesorderedforbothparents,eventhoughthereisonlyproofthatoneparentmighthaveaproblem.

Beforeyouaskfortheexam,youshouldknowthenameandaddressofthefacilitythatwilldothetestsaswellasthecost.YourspecialistattorneyorFamilyCourtServicesshouldbefamiliarwithalocalfacilitythatdoesthetestyouwant.Contactthemandfindoutwhatteststheydoandwhattheycharge.Askwhatproceduresthefacilityuses,particularlyifaurinetestisordered.Unsupervisedtesttakersmightbringcleanurinewiththemorotherwisetrickaurinetest.Toavoidthis,youwouldpreferafacilitythatwatchesthewholeprocess.Ifyoureallywantthistesttogetdone,youshoulddepositthefeeforyour

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spousewiththefacilityinadvance(asyourspousewillclaimhe/shedoesn’thavemoneyforthetest).Thisshouldbeexplainedinyourmotion,andthename,addressandphonenumberofthefacilityshouldbeinyourmotion.

Motionneedstospecifytimesandconditions.Yourmotionneedstostatesomethingveryspecificforwhenthetestmustbetakenandwhichtest,forexample,withintwenty-fourhoursafterthehearing,yourspousemustgotothenamedfacilityandsubmittothehairtest.Withoutatimelimit,theorderisnothing.

Youmaywantarandombloodorurine testaswellasahair test.Yourspousemightadmit tohavinguseddrugsbut claim that he/shehasnowgiven themup, or he/shemighthave an excuse forcertainsubstancesshowingupintheblood,suchasclaiminghe/shetookcertaintypesofcoughsyrupsorasthmainhalers,etc.Evenwithahairtest,yourspousecouldclaimtheyhaverecentlyreformed,gonesober,attendAA,andsoon.Thisiswhyyouwantanorderthatpermitsyoutocallforabloodorurinetestonarandombasis,tooccurwithin4hoursofaskingforthetestortheopeningofthetestfacility(ifyoumakeyourrequeston,say,aweekendwhenthey’reclosed)whichevercomesfirst.Thiswillnotclarifythemarijuanasituation,butitmayeliminateotherclaimsofnewgoodbehavior.

Protectingchildwhenparentflunksmightbedifficult. If testing shows that therewasdrugoralcoholabuse,parentswilltypicallyhaveexcusesforwhytheyhavesucharesidue,perhapsclaimingthattheyusedadecongestantwithpseudoephedrineinit,suchasSudafed.Soevenflunkingthetestmaynotguaranteethatvisitationwillbecomesupervisedorcutoff.Peoplewhohavesubstanceproblemsareusedtomakingexcusesandmaybeverygoodatit.Thejudgemayormaynotseethroughtheexcuse.

Enforcement.Theremaybeseriousenforcementproblemsevenwithanorderfordrug/alcoholtesting.Thecourtmaysimplyordertheparentnottousedrugsoralcoholbeforeorduringvisitation,andiftheparentbreaksthisorderandshowsupdrunktotakethechild,youmayhavetocallthepolicetoavoidsendingyourchildinacarwithsomeonewhoisundertheinfluence.Ifyousimplywithholdthechildanddonotcallthepolice,yourspousemayaccuseyouofrefusingtopermitvisitationandcouldchargeyouwithcontemptofcourt,whichispunishablebyjail.Ifyoucallthepolice,andyourspouseturnsoutnottohavebeenundertheinfluence,youmayfindyourselfaccusedofunfairlyattackingyourspousebymakingfalseaccusations,andyoumaybeaccusedofstressingoutthechildbyexposinghim/hertothepolice.Soenforcinganordercanbequiteproblematic.

How to resist a motion for drug/alcohol exam Thebestwaytoresistanexaminationistopointouttothejudgethatthereisabsolutelynothingobjectiveinyourbackgroundtosuggestthatyouhaveanydrug/alcoholproblem—youhaveneverbeenarrestedfordrivingundertheinfluence,youneverlostajobduetodrugs/alcohol,etc.Also,itwillmakeadifferencetothejudgeifyousimplylooklikeadecent,healthyperson,notonewhosehealthmayhavebeendamagedbysubstances.Youmightevenhaveajobthatalreadydoesrandomdrug/alcoholtesting,andaddinganotherforthecourtdoesnotmakesense.

Other examinations

Thecourtcan,uponmotionandashowingofgoodcause,orderwhatevertestsitfeelsarenecessary,suchasorderingapartyaccusedofforgingdocumentstosubmithandwritingexemplarstoanexpert.Suchordersarerare,butthecourthasthepowertoorderwhateverteststhejudgefeelsarenecessarybasedonthefactsandissuesinyourcase.

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CHAPTER 20PARENTING PROGRAMS AND MANDATORY MEDIATION

Parenting programs

Many counties have found it very effective to hold classes for divorcing parents to give them someinsightsintowhatisimportanttochildren,howtoparentafteradivorce,andhowthecourtdealswithdisagreementsoverparenting.Ifyouhavechildren,andifyourcountyhassuchaprogram,bothparentswillberequiredtoattend.Fromlongexperience, judgesunderstandhowimportant it is forparents toagreehowtoshareparentingratherthanfightoverit,keepingthechildren’sinterestsabovetheirown.Ifyourcountyhasaparentingprogram,youwillprobablybegiveninformationaboutitwhenyoufileyourfirstdivorcepapers.Checkyourlocalrulesoraskyourattorney.

A.ParentingprogramsB.MandatorymediationC.MotiontorequireparticipationD.IfyourspouseignorestheordertoparticipateE.Custody/visitationissuescanproceedseparately

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Mandatory mediation

Beforethecourtcanmakeordersregardingcustodyorvisitation,statelawrequirestheparentstoattemptmediation.Itisrequired;youhavetodoit.Ifanemergencysituationexists,thecourtmightmakea temporaryorderbeforeyouhaveattendedmediation,butmediationmustbeattemptedvery shortlythereafter.Ifyourspousewon’tcooperate,useanOSCandgetanorderrequiringit.

Youcan selectyourownprivatemediator andattendasoftenandas longasyou like,oryoucouldbeassignedtoacounty-appointedmediatoratFamilyCourtServiceswhereyoutypicallyattendveryfewsessions.Costsandrulesvary,socheckyourlocalrulesofcourtandaskyourlawyerformoreinformation.Ifyouhavetriedprivatemediationandfailed,thecourtwilllikelywantyoutotrythecourt-appointedmediator,too. Mediationissittingdownwithaneutralpersonwhoisexpertathelpingparentsreachagreementaboutcustodyandvisitation—inotherwords,howtheywillbeparentstotheirchildrenafterdivorce.Youwillnotbeallowedtotakeyourcustody/visitationissuestocourtwithoutfirsttryingmediation.

Takeitfromme,basedonalotofexperience:ifyoucangetareasonableagreement,itisalwaysbettertoresolveparentingissuesyourselves,ratherthanlettingajudgeimposeadecision.Peoplewhoagreearefarmorelikelytofollowthetermsthanpeoplewhoaretoldwhattodo.Byfailingtoagree,yougivethepowertodecideoneofthemostimportantandintimateissuesinyourlivestoajudge—abusy,preoccupiedstrangerwhodoesn’tknowaboutyou,yourchildrenoryourlife.Manyjudgesjustwanttogetthecaseoutoftheircourtasquicklyaspossible.Judgesdonotliketodecideyourparentingforyou,butiftheyhavetodoit,thechancesaregoodthatyouarenotgoingtoliketheresult.Farbetterifyouandyourchildren’sotherparentcankeepcontrolofyourownlivesbyworkingitoutyourselves.Inmostcases,mediationcanworkifyougiveitachance.Ontheotherhand,youshouldnotmakeconcessionsthatjeopardizethephysicaloremotionalhealthofyourchildrenjustforthehopeofpeaceandquiet.

Mediationisnotarbitration.Don’tconfusemediationwitharbitration.Arbitrationtakesplaceinamoreinformalenvironmentthancourtwithrelaxedrules,butanarbitratorisjustlikeajudge—astrangerwhomakesafinaldecisionforyou.Youarestillgivingcontroltoathirdperson.Inmediationtheneutralthirdpersonhelpsthepartiescommunicate,balancesthepower,suggestsalternatives,andinotherwayshelpsyoureachyourownagreement,oratleastthisishowmediationissupposedtowork.Therearetoomanymediatorswhotakeituponthemselvestotelltheparticipantswhatshouldorshouldnotbe,orwhatthejudgewillorwillnotdoanyways.Donotstandforthis.Ifyouhavesuchamediator,insistthatthemediatorsticktotheirroleasaneutralwhoischargedwiththeresponsibilitytofacilitateconversationandattempttomediateanagreementbetweenthetwoofyou.Ifitisnotsuccessful,thatiswhatthejudgeisfor.

Confidentialcountiesandreportingcounties.Thelawleavesituptoeachcountytodecidewhetherornotthemediationisconfidential.Incountieswhichdonothaveconfidentialmediation,ifparentsfailtoagree,themediatorwillmakeareportorrecommendationtothejudge,sothosecountiesarecalled“reporting”or“recommending”counties.Inareportingcounty,youneedtokeepinmindthatanythingyousayinmediationmightbereportedtothejudge.Inallcountiesthemediatormustreportchildabuseormolestation;evenconfidentialityrulesdonotstopthat.Askyourlawyerorcontactthecourt’sFamilyCourtServicestofindoutwhetheryourcountyisconfidentialorreporting.Ifyouareinareportingcounty,youmustapproachmediationwiththesameseriousnessasyouwouldhaveforacourtappearance.

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ThejudgeshireandsuperviseFamilyCourtServices,sotheytendtohavegreatfaithinthem;infact,thereisanunfortunatetendencytorubber-stamptheirrecommendations.Inmanyways,whatgoesoninlittleroomsatFamilyCourtServiceswillhavemoreeffectonyourlifethanwhatgoesoninthecourtroom.Obviously,youwantthemediator’srecommendationtobefavorable.Youcouldattendprivatemediationfirsttotrytoreachanagreementinaconfidentialmanner;inthatcasethelawsaysthatthemediationisconfidential.Then,ifthatfails,youwouldgointothecourt’sprocessinwhichmediationmaybeconfidentialornon-confidential,dependingonthecounty.

Whoelseattendsmediation?Differentcountyrulesvaryfromsayingthatnobodybutmotherandfathercanattendmediationtosayingthatlawyersmustattendthefirstsessionandrequiringchildren’sattendance.Insomecounties,mediatorsvirtuallyneverspeaktochildren,andinothercountiesmediatorsroutinelyinvolvemorefamilymembers.Beforeyougotomediation,youmustfindoutwhathappensinyourcountysoyoubringtherightpeople.

Mediationwhentherehasbeendomesticviolence.Whentherehavebeenallegationsofdomesticviolence,youareentitledtobringasupportpersontomediation(althoughtheycannotparticipate),oryoucanasktobeseenseparatelyfromyourspouse.However,asmuchaspossible,youwanttobepresent,otherwiseyouwon’tknowwhatyourspouseissaying.Askthemediatoriftheycanguaranteeyoursafety.Usually,mediationwillnotworkwhereoneperson isabusiveorverycontrolling. Ifyour spousehasabusedyou,andyouareusedtogivingintotheirdominance,youmustbevery,verycarefulnottorepeatthisharmfulpatterninmediation.Donotagreetoanorderthatyoucannotlivewithorthatisunsafeforyourchildren.Youdonothavetomakeanagreement.Youcangotocourt.

Whendoyoumediate? In thebestcounties,mediationoccursevenbefore thehearingofyouremergencyTRO.Thatwaythepartiesgetachancetosettlebyagreementand,ifthecountyisareportingcounty,bythetimethecasefirstgetstocourt,someonewillhaveseenthefatherandmotherandwillbeabletomakeareporttothejudge.Inothercountiestheremaybeabacklog,andmediationcanbemorethanamonthaway.Inthiscase,temporaryorderscouldissuebeforethemediationtakesplace.

Motion to require participation

Urgentcases.Ifyouareinanemergencysituationwhichrequiresimmediatechildcustody/visitationorders,assoonasyougetintothecourtprocessthejudgeisgoingtomakeanorderformediation.YourlocalrulesmayevenrequirecertainlanguagetobeinyourRFOorTRO,soyouneedtocheckwithyourlawyer.Youdon’twantyouremergencyTROrejectedbecauseitfailedtomentiontheneedtocontactFamilyCourtServices.

Non-emergencysituations.Ifyouaredissatisfiedwithcurrentparentingarrangementsandcan’tgetyourspousetodomediationonit,youcanfileamotiontocompelmediation.

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If your spouse ignores the order to participate

Sometimesaparentwhoisunderacourtordertomediatewilldelay,missappointments,orjustflatlyrefusetoparticipate.Ifitlookslikethismighthappentoyou,youmustkeepajournallistingeverycommunicationandeventwiththedateandtimeofeachandgoodnotesonthedetailsofwhathappened.Youwillusethesenotesinmakingafollow-upRFOorTRO.

First,yourlawyerwillwriteyourspouseandtellhim/herortheattorneythatit isnecessarytocomplywiththeorderoryouwillgobacktocourtforastrongerorderorcontemptofcourt.

Ifyouwanttocontinuetopressformediation(andfilltherecordwithindicationsofyourspouse’sbadconduct),youhavethreechoices:

1.AnTROtofindyourspouseincontemptforviolatingtheordertoattendmediation,2.AnRFOtoprohibitallvisitationuntilyourspousecompletesmediation,or3.AnTROtothesameend.

Anyoneofthesewouldbearealattentiongrabber,butthegoalistogetyourspouse’scooperation,nottointerferewithvisitation.Usingchildrenasapawnisharmfultothemandcanpoisontherelationshipbetweentheparentsforever.Forthisreason,youmaywanttotrythecontemptTROfirst.Donotusetheotheroptionsunlessthereisotherevidencethatsolecustodyandrestrictedvisitationmightbeappropriate.Youdon’twant the judge to thinkyou are the kindof parentwhowould lightly use the child-parentrelationshipforyourownends.

Custody/visitation issues can proceed separately

State law provides that custody/visitation issues have “preference” on the court’s calendar, aschildrenneedtoknowwhatishappeningtothemandwheretheywilllive.Yourcourtwillhonorthislaw,sothattheseissuesmightgototrialearlierthanandseparatefromallotherissues.Often,theseissueswillbesplitofffromtheotherissuesinyourcasewhenyouarereferredtomediation.TheprocesswithFamilyCourtServicescouldthentakeonalifeofitsown,withFamilyCourtServicesreferringyouontothenextstepinthecustody/visitationprocess.Thiseventuallyresultsinawrittenrecommendationtothecourtastoyourcustody/visitationsituation.Oncethatreportisreceived,anddiscovery(ifany)iscompleted,thecustody/visitationissuescanproceedtotrial.Thetimingisnotrelatedtothetrialandresolutionofotherissues.

If your county doesn’t have an automatic splitting of these issues, and youwant the custody/visitationissuestogetdecidedearlywhileyoudon’tmindthemoneyissueswaitinguntillater,youcanfileaRequestforSeparateTrial.Discussthepossibilitiesandbenefitsof“bifurcation”ofissueswithyourlawyer.

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CHAPTER 21STATUS-ONLY JUDGMENT

Divorce now, resolve other issues later

Pros,consandpreconditionsforstatus-onlydivorce Status-onlydivorcemeansyousplitoff—“bifurcate”isthelegalterm—yourdissolution(theendofyourmaritalstatus)fromallotherissuessoyoucanhaveyourmarriagedissolvedanytimeafterthesix-monthwaitingperiodisover,thenyoucontinuetryingtoresolveothermatters,inoroutofcourt.

Dissolvingyourmarriagebeforeyouresolveallothermatterswillimpacthealthinsurance,lifeinsurance,wills,bankandinvestmentaccounts,socialsecuritybenefits,andsoon.Also,theautomaticrestrainingordersonpage2oftheSummonsareterminated—gonowandlookatthem—leavingeitherpartyfreetomoveoffwiththechildren,sell,transferormortgageassets,andsoon.Beforeyougetyourearlydivorce,youneedtomakesurebothspousesareprotectedonallmatters thathavenotyetbeensettled.Important!

A.Pros,consandpreconditionsB.Stipulationforstatus-onlyjudgmentC.Howtoresistamotionforstatus-onlyjudgment

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Becausethestatus-onlyJudgmentcanbesoproblematic,weshowyouhowtogetoneonlywhenyoubothagree todo itandagree to theprotectionsunderwhich itwillbegranted. Ifyourestatehassignificantassetsorcash-flow,youshoulddiscussthiswithyourlawyerbeforemakinganydecisionsonthissubject.Doingitovertheotherparty’sobjectionsinvolvessomanycomplexitiesandvariablesthatwebelieveyouandyourlawyershouldhaveaverycarefuldiscussionoftheadvantages,disadvantages,aswellasthecostsinvolved.

NOTE:BIGURCATIONDISCOVERYTRAP ThegeneralruleisthatyourrighttoobtainDiscovery(documentsandinformationwhichallowyoutoinvestigatetheissuesinyourdivorceactionanddevelopevidencefortrial)iscutoffformanyissuesjustpriortoatrial.

WhenyouseekaBifurcationandTerminationofMaritalStatus,orabifurcationofanyissueinaDissolutionactionandanentryofanorder,youareseekingaseparatetrialonthatoneissue.Whenthecourtbifurcatestheissueoftheterminationofyourmaritalstatus,andentersandorder,theyhaveconductedatrialonthatissue.Hereistheproblem:thereiscurrentlynoprovisionintheFamilyCodeortheCodeofCivilProcedurewhichexemptsortollsthediscoverycutoffwhenthecourthasbifurcatedanissueandconductedaseparatetrial.Thismeansthataftersuchanorder,eitherpartycouldarguethatdiscoveryhasbeencut-off.Certaintypesofdiscoveryareallowedafteratrialinfamilylawcases,butmanyvitaltypesofdiscoveryarenot.

Assuch,ifyouandyourspousearestipulatingtoaBifurcationandTerminationofMaritalStatus,yourattorneyshouldincludeaspecificprovisiontollingorwaivingtheDiscoveryCut-offandagreeingthatdiscoveryremainsopenonallissuesaftertheseparatetrialonMaritalStatus.

Advantages Emotionalandlegalfreedom.You’remoreclearlyonyourown.Youcangetmarriedagain.

Taxfilingstatus.Theloweryourincome,thelessimportantthisis.Taxesarehigherifyouareamarriedpersonfilingseparately.Ifyouhavecustodyofachild,noproblem;youcanfileasheadofhousehold.Ifnot,andyourincomeisgood,youwouldratherbedivorcedbyDecember31—whentaxstatusisdetermined—soyoucanfileassingle.ThisisonlypossibleifthePetitioninyourcasewasservedonorbeforeJune30.Ifthisisyourmotive,andifyourPetitionwasservedbeforeJune30,workwithataxaccountanttoseehowmuchastatus-onlyjudgmentisworthtoyou.

Confirmationthatthemarriageisover.Onmanyoccasions,onespousemaynotbeabletocometotermswiththefactthatthemarriageisover.Theymayusethelegalprocesstodragonthedivorceinanattemptatreconciliation.Sometimes,thebifurcationandterminationofthemaritalstatusiswhatittakesforthatspousetofinallyacceptthatreconciliationisnotanoptionfortheotherspouse.

Things you should consider first SocialSecurity.Ifacouplehasbeenmarriedfor10years(beinglegallyseparatedisokay),eachspouseiseligibleforderivativeSocialSecuritybenefitsequaltoabouthalftheamountoftheotherspouse’sbenefits,unlesshis/herownbenefitswouldbegreater.So,ifonespouse’sownbenefitsarenotgreaterthanhalfoftheotherspouse’sbenefits,thatspousewouldnotwantthemarriagedissolvedafter,say,9yearsand6months.Ideally,youwouldwaittodivorceuntilyoupassthe10-yearmark.

PXprivileges.Ifyouaremarriedtoaservicemanonactivedutyfor20yearsduringthemarriage,youareeligibleformilitaryPXprivilegesandotherbenefits.Youwouldn’twanttodissolvethemarriage,say,after19yearsand6months.Youwouldwaittheother6months.Ifyouareapproachingthis20-year


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anniversary,checkwiththemilitaryaboutyourpossiblebenefits.Thejudgewilllistentothesepracticalconsiderationsindeterminingthedateofdissolutionofmarriage.

Mandatory preconditions (FL-347, items 1–4) AllpreconditionsarediscussedintheordertheyappearonformFL-347,theorderattachment.

Item1.Youmustcomplete thePreliminaryDeclarationsofDisclosure (PD)unlessdeferred inwriting.Beforerequestingastatus-onlyJudgment,eitheryoubothdothePD,includingacurrentIncomeandExpenseStatement,andyoubothfileaDeclarationreServiceofthePDs,oryoubothstipulateinwritingtowaiveitforthepurposeofobtainingastatus-onlyJudgment.

Items2and3.Youmustjoinpensionorretirementfunds.Ifeitherspouseparticipatedinoneormorepensionplansorretirementfundsduringthemarriage,eachsuchplanorfunddescribedonFL-318mustbejoinedasapartytothecase.Inaddition,FL-348mustbeattachedtothestatus-onlyJudgmentandacopyservedoneachplan’sadministrator,whetherornotthatfundwasjoined.

Item4.Thecourtwillretainjurisdiction(powerover)allpendingissuesinthecase.

Optional preconditions — protecting spouses, children and property rights (FL-347, item 5) Inadditiontomandatorypreconditionsabove,bothspousesneedprotectionfrompossibleadverseconsequencesofdissolving themarriagebefore all issues are settled, sovariouspreconditions canbeagreedtobythepartiesorunilaterallyimposedbythejudge.Ifeitherpartyrequestsanyoftheprotectionsbelow,theywouldprobablybegranted,butifamotionforstatus-onlydissolutiongoesthroughwithnoopposition,theseprotectionsmightnotbeincludedinthecourt’sorder.So,ifamotionismadeandtheotherspousewantspreconditionsthatwerenotrequestedinthemotion,themotionmustbeopposed.Toavoidanexpensiveandcomplicatedcourtbattle,you’llneedeitherafinalsettlementagreementorarrangeforbothspousestojoininastipulatedorderasdescribedinsectionBbelow.

5a) Division of Property. Spouses can be ordered to assume responsibility for any taxes,reassessments,interestorpenaltiespayablebytheotherpartyifthestatus-onlydivorceresultsinaliabilitythatwouldnototherwiseoccur.

5b)Health insurance. If either spouse depends on the other’s group health insurance throughemployment,itwillbelostonceajudgmentofdivorceisentered.Readthisclausecarefullyanddecideifyouwanttoaskthecourttoordertheemployeespousetoobtaincomparableinsuranceorpaymedicalexpensesuntilsuchtimeasadivorcewouldordinarilybeentered,andprovefinancialabilitytodoso.Ifyouhavedependentchildren,usethisclausetoorderthattheirhealthinsurancemustbemaintained.

5c)Probatehomestead. Ifaspousedies, thesurvivingspouse isentitled toacertaindegreeofprotectionfromcreditorswhodonotalreadyholdalienormortgageagainstthedeceasedspouse’sproperty.Inthisclause,thespousesindemnifyoneanotheragainstlossofthishomesteadrightbyasurvivingspouseduetoearlydissolutionandthedeathoftheotherspousebeforepropertyrightsareresolved.

5d)Probatefamilyallowance.Uponthedeathofaspouse,thesurvivingspouseandchildrenareentitledtoafamilyallowanceduringtheprobateperiod,whichcanbelengthy.Ifthisrightislostduetoearlydissolutionbeforethedivisionofpropertyanddeterminationofspousalsupportisdecided,thisclauserequirestheestateofthedeceasedspousetocoverthatloss.


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5e)Retirementbenefits.Thisprotectsagainstthelossofsurvivorbenefitsorotheroptionsunderanyretirementordeferredcompensationplan(likestockoptions)notalreadycoveredunderitem3).

5f)SocialSecuritybenefits.Thisprotectsagainstthelossofsocialsecuritybenefitsduetoearlytermination,includingsurvivorbenefitsordissolutionabitshortoftheten-yearperiodthatwouldhavegivenasurvivingspouserightsundertheotherspouse’sSocialSecurity.

5g)Non-probatetransfers.Assetssuchasinsurancepolicies,bankandinvestmentaccountshaveanamedbeneficiaryincaseofthedeathoftheaccountholder.Othernotes,contractsorsecuritiesmight also.These are callednon-probate transfers, and this clauseprotects a surviving spouseagainstlossesthatwouldnothaveoccurredbutfortheearlydissolution.Youneedtoattachapagewiththelistofassetsyouwantcovered.

5h)IRAaccounts.IfaspousehasanIRAaccountthatwasnotcoveredunderitem3,thisiswhereprotectionisprovided.

5iandj)Otherprotections.Theseareforspecialcircumstancesnotalreadycoveredwherebyearlydissolutioncouldcreateaburdenofenforcementofcommunitypropertyrightsorcausesomekindofdisadvantage.ReadFamilyCode2337(c)(9)andspeakwithyourlawyerifyouhaveasituationinyourcasethatmightcomeunderthiscatch-all.

Stipulation for status-only judgment

Ifyouandyourspousecanagreetoastatus-onlyjudgment,andtheconditionsthatwillbeimposed,andifyouhavebothfiledProofsofServiceofthePreliminaryDeclarationofDisclosureorwaivedtheminyourstipulation,andifyouhavealreadyjoinedanypensionorretirementfundlistedonFL-318thateitherspousecontributedtoduringmarriage,thenyoucanproceedwiththeBifurcationandTerminationofMaritalStatusbystipulation,whichwillsubstantiallysimplifytheprocessandsavealotoflegalfees.

How to resist a motion for status-only judgment

Ifyouwanttoopposeamotionforstatus-onlyJudgment,youhavetoprepareandfileandserveyour opposition papers very quickly.Discuss the possible basis for your objection and determine thelikelihoodofthemotionbeingsuccessfuloveryourobjection.Inmyexperience,withtheexceptionofthepreconditionsmentionedbelow,mostjudgesproceedwithaprocedurallypropermotionforastatusonlyjudgment.

TheRequestforOrderthatwasservedonyoushouldhavehadFL-315attachedtoit.ThisformrunscloselyparalleltothepreconditionsdescribedinsectionAaboveanditwilltellyouwhichpreconditionsthemoving party has requested.Examine it very carefully and decidewhether the facts stated in themotionarecorrect,thatitproposessufficientprotections,andlistseverypension,retirementfundorIRAinwhichthemovingpartyparticipatedduringthemarriage.

Grounds tooppose.Tooppose themotion,youneedagoodreason. Ifyourgrounds forobjectingarefrivolous,justtryingtogetinyourspouse’sway,thejudgemightbeirritatedandcouldawardsanctionsagainstyouforwastingeveryone’stime.Onlylegalorpracticalmatterswillwork—thatthefactsstatedinthemotionareincorrectinawaythatmatters,orthepreconditionsrequestedarenotadequate.Anyprotectionnotrequestedthatyoufeelisreasonablyrequiredbyyoursituationwouldgiveyougroundstoopposethemotion,butonlytorequestadditionalpreconditionsortocorrectsomefactorfactsthatareimportantandstatedincorrectlyinthemotion.Orperhapsyouhaven’treceivedthePreliminary

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DeclarationofDisclosureandyoudidn’tdeferitinwriting,orperhapsyou’llhavetroublegettinghealthinsuranceforyourselforthechildrenifthedivorceisgrantedearly,or...yougetthepoint.Duetothecomplexitiesofthenumerouspossibleprotections,theshorttimeyouhavetothinkitover,thenprepare,fileandserveyourresponsepapers,youshouldspeaktoyourlawyeraboutyouroptionsindepthanddecideaccordingly.


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CHAPTER 22AT-ISSUE MEMORANDUMpush the case toward to trial

Setting a trial date brings your case to a close

Assumingyoursideof thecase is inorder,andthatyouhiredanattorneywhounderstoodthewisdomofpreparingyourcaseproperlyandearly,asopposedtomanylawyerswhorestonthestatisticsthatmostcasesdon’tgototrialasanexcusefornotproperlypreparingacase,settingthecasefortrialisagoodwaytoputpressureoncasesthataredraggingbecause,onceatrialdateisset,theothersidemustenterintoanagreementorgototrial.Todothis,youfileadocumenttellingthecourtthataResponsehasbeenfiled,youhavenotsettled,discoveryiscomplete,andyounowwanttosetatrialdatetofinishthecase.

A.SettingatrialdatebringsyourcasetoacloseB.RespondingtoanAt-IssueMemorandumC.WhattodowhenyougetatrialdateD.StartplanningfortheSettlementConference

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Variousnames.Thereisnostateformforthisandeverycountyisalittledifferent;mosthavelocalformsbut somedon’t.Thedocument youfilemight be called anAt-IssueMemorandum,Request forTrial,Memorandum toSet, orRequest forStatus/TrialSettingConference. In this book,weuse “At- IssueMemorandum”forallofthem.

Here’showitworks.FilinganAt-IssueMemowillcausetheclerktosetadatefortrialand,beforetrial,mostcountieswillalsoscheduleaSettlementConferenceorCaseManagementConference.AttheSettlementConference,thejudgeasettlementofficer(thisshouldnotbethejudgethatisassignedtoyourcase)willprobablytrytotalk(orpressure)thepartiesintoasettlementoratleastapartialsettlement.Thisisdiscussedinthenextchapter.

ThingscanhappenveryrapidlyafteryoufileanAt-IssueMemorandum,sodon’tfileoneuntilyou’vereadchapters23and25,andhavedoneeverythingdiscussedthere.Waituntilyouarereallyready,beforeyoucrankitallintoaction.Thisisnotatimetobluffyourreadinessforactuallyconductingatrialonalloftheissues.Manypeopleandlawyersdothis,andit’samistakethatcouldbeverydangeroustoyourcase.Makesureyourlawyerhasalltheevidenceandexpertsthatarenecessarylinedupandready.

Afterreadingthischapter,youwillunderstandhowmanythingsyouhavetogetjustrightaccordingtolocalrulesandhow,ifsomethinggoeswrongoryoumisssomething,youcouldundermineyourcaseorloseoutright.

Preparation=confidence.Ifyouarewellpreparedandnotafraidtogototrial,youwon’tcaveintoacceptlessthanisfair.Okay,sometimesit’sworthittobuysomepeace,buteventhatdecisionshouldbebasedonreasonratherthanfear.

Onewaytoavoidatrialistoaskforone.Ofcourseyouarereluctanttoundertakeabigsteplikegoingtotrial—whowouldn’tbe?However,ifyourequestatrial,you’llhavelegalmechanismspressingbothpartiestosettleandthejudge’sassistanceaswell.Maybe.Somejudges,anyway.Onlyabout5%ofallcasesactuallyendupintrial.

IfyourspousedidnotfileaResponse.IfnoResponsewaseverfiledwiththecourt,thecaseisnotatissueandyoudonotusetheAt-IssueMemorandum.InsteadyouwilltakeRespondent’sdefault.

Reasons not to file an At-Issue Memorandum yet Discoverycutoff.Alldiscoverymustbecompletedat least30daysbeforethefirstdatesetfortrialanddiscoverymotionsmustbeheardatleast15daysahead.Youcan’tassumetheothersidewillcooperate,whichmeansmotions tocompeldiscoverymightbe required.Youneed toallowup to sixmonthsbeforetrialfordiscoveryandyoudonotwantthepressureofatrialdateloomingahead.Ifyouarenotfinishedwithdiscovery,donotfileanAt-IssueMemorandum.

Appraisalsandotherpreparation.Inadditiontodiscoverybeingnearcompletionandhavingyourcasewellorganizedandprepared,youwantallmajorassets(suchasahome,business,orstockoptions)tobeappraisedbeforeyoufileyourAt-IssueMemorandum.Ifyoufiletooearly,youcouldfindyourselfattrialunpreparedonsomeimportantissueanditwillbetoolatetodoanythingaboutit.Forexample,gettingappraisalsandfinancialdocumentscansometimesbedifficultandmightrequiremotions.Don’trushintoatrialbeforeyouarereallyprepared.

TheExpertDemandTrap.AcommondiscoverymechanismisademandforExchangeofExpertWitnessInformation.Thisdemandmayonlybemadeafteryourmatterissetfortrial.


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Thedateofexchangemustbe50daysbeforetheinitialtrialdate,or20daysafterserviceofthedemand,whicheverisclosertothetrialdate.EXAMPLE1:GivenOctober1asthetrialdateandademandmadeonJuly10,20daysafterserviceofthedemandisJuly30;50daysbeforethetrialdateisAugust12.ThusthedateofexchangewillbeAugust12,thedateclosertothetrialdate.

Warning:ifyoufailtodisclosuretheidentityofyourexpertandwhatyourexpertwillbetestifyingabout,theopposingpartycanblockyouexpertfromtestifyingattrial.

What goes in the At-Issue Memo Howlongyourcasewilltaketocompleteattrial.Thecourtwantsyoutoestimate(guess)notonlyhowlongyourcasewilltaketoputon,buthowlongtheothersidemighttake.Withouttrialexperience,thiswillbeextremelydifficult,particularlyasitdependsinpartonhowfastjudgespushtrialsinyourcounty.Someproceedinaratherleisurelyfashionwhile,inothercourts,gettingafullhalf-dayofcourttimeisamajorachievement.

Datesyouareunavailablefortrial.Consideryourselfunavailableifyouhavefutureobligationsthatyoureallycan’tgetoutof(orreally,really,reallydon’twantto),suchasprepaidvacationsandre-quiredbusinesstravel.Attorneysconsideranythingthatoccupiestheirownscheduletobe“unavailable.”Foranattorneytobeunavailable,theyshouldbeonprepaidvacation,orinanothertrialormajorcourtproceeding.Trialshouldtakeprecedenceoverotherthingslikemotionsanddepositions.

Assumingtheclerkgaveyouatimeperiodfortrialsettings,youshouldstartlistingyourunavail-abledatesamonthbeforethefirstlikelytrialdate,andoverasix-orseven-monthperiodoftime.Youcan’tbetoocareful.Iftheycan’torwon’tgiveyouanestimate,listdatesyouwillnotbeavailablestartingonemonthafterthedateofyourAt-IssueMemorandumandcontinuingforthenextyear(whichpresum-ablywon’tbetooburdensomeasmostpeopledon’thavetheirtimecalendaredoutforthenextyear).

Responding to an At-Issue Memorandum

If your case is ready Evenifyoudon’tmindthecasebeingsetfortrial,youmightwanttofileareplyAt-IssueMemo-randumtoinformthecourtofdatesonwhichyouareunavailablefortrial.Youdon’twantthetrialtobesetonadatewhenyouareinEuropeonaprepaidvacation.Incountiesthatrequiresomesortofpretrialstatement,youcantakethisopportunitytoputyourowncaseinfrontofthejudge.Whoknows,youmightbeassignedtoareader.

Youhavetendaystorespond.Remember,ifyouserveyourCounterAt-Issuebymail,youmustmailit5daysbeforethe10daysexpire.IfyoureceivedanyotherdocumentsalongwiththeAt-IssueMemorandum,youmustrespondtothose,too.Besuretocheckwithyourlawyerforapplicabledeadlinesonthosedocuments.

Warning:Insomecounties, ifyoudonotpromptlyreplyto thepretrialstatement(orwhateverthey’recalledinyourcounty),thiscanbeconclusivelyinterpretedasanadmissiontoallofyourspouse’spositions!Becarefulthatyoudon’tfindyourselfinthisposition.Insomecounties,youmustrespondoryoulose,butthisdependsonyourlocalrules,ofwhichyourlawyerwillbefamiliar,butmakesureitisnotmissed.

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If your case is not ready Sometimesapartywhoholdsallthefamilyfinancialinformationoralltheinformationonsomeothercrucialissuewilltrytorushyouintotrialsotheywillhaveanunfairadvantage.Ifyouhavebeenmakingdiligenteffortstoprepareandyouarebeingrushedintotrialbeforeyouareready,youshouldfileamotiontostrikeyourspouse’sAt-IssueMemorandum.Thisisdifferentfromamotiontocontinuethetrialdate(chapter24).Youusethemotiontostriketostopatrialdatefrombeingset.Youuseamotiontocontinueifthetrialdatehasalreadybeenset.

Judgesgettiredofpartiesaskingfordelays—itmakesitharderforthemtomanagecourtwork—butifyourspouseisrushingyouintotrial,youareforcedtoaskforoneanyway.Youneedtomakeitclearthatyouhavebeendiligent,butyourspouseisrushingthecasetoofast.Youfileadeclarationlistingeverythingyouhavedonetogetready.If,infact,yourlawyerhasnotbeenpreparingdiligently,youareprobablynotgoingtobegrantedacontinuance,soyouhadbettermakeyourlawyerscrambleasfastaspossibletocatchup.

Youshouldcheckwithyour lawyer tofindoutapproximatelywhen theyare setting trials likeyours.Ifsimilarcasesarebeingsetayearaway,youmightdecidenottofileamotiontostriketheAt-IssueMemorandumnowbuttrytoprepareyourcasefastenoughtobereadybytheexpectedtrialdate.However,iftrialsarebeingsetonlyamonthortwoaway,andyourcaseisnotprepared,youneedtomoveimmediatelytostriketheAt-IssueMemorandum.Ifmotionsarebeingsettooccurinsay,fiveweeks,andyourtrialissettooccurinfourweeks,youmayneedtoincludeinyourmotionarequestforanordershorteningtimesoyourmotionwillbeheardbeforethetrial.

What to do when you get a trial date

Besureyouhavediscussedalldeadlinesandprocedureswithyourlawyer.Whenyoureceiveyoursettlementconferencedateortrialdate,deadlinesstartrunningonyourcase.Theywon’tbewrittenondocumentsorforms,sotheycaneasilypassbyunknownandunnoticed.Insomecounties,forexample,ifyoudonotdocertainthings,suchasdiscloseinwritingthenameandaddressofeveryoneofyourexpertwitnessesbyacertaindate,youwillloseyourrighttousethem.Andmanycountiesrequirepretrialstatementstobefiledandservedbyacertaindate.

Becauseoftheimportanceofthesedeadlinesandtheeasewithwhichtheycanbeoverlooked,onceyouknowacourtdateisbeingset,thiswouldbeaverygoodtimetomeetwithyourattorneytodiscussdeadlinesandwhatyoumustdotoprotectyourrightsandgetyourcasegoing.Ifyoudecidetodothis,hurry!Youhaven’tamomenttolose.

Calendaryourdiscoverycutoff.Alldiscoverymustbecompletedbyatleast30daysbeforetrial,anddiscoverymotionsmustbeheardatleast15daysbeforetrial(chapter17).Nowthatyouhaveatrialdate,youareunderconsiderablepressuretocompleteanydiscoverythatisstillunfinished.

FinalDeclarationsofDisclosuremustbeservedatleast45daysbeforetrial,or50daysbeforeifyoumailthem.Assoonasyouhaveyourtrialdate,calendarthisdeadlineandputanote20daysbeforethedeadlinethatyoushouldpreparethedocuments.Don’tjustcalendarthefinaldeadline.Calendarenoughtimeaheadgetthetaskdoneontime.

Pretrial settlement statement reminder Speakwithyourlawyertoseeifapretrialsettlementstatement(orwhateveritmightbecalledinyourcounty)isrequiredwithoraftertheAt-IssueMemorandum.Failuretodoagoodjobonthiscanbedisastrous.

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Start planning for the Settlement Conference

Longago,youandyourlawyermadeaplanforyourcase.Youarestillworkingonitandithasbeenreflectedinall theworkyouandyourlawyerhavedone.Yoursettlementoffersreflectedit.AnydocumentsyouwererequiredtofilewithyourAt-IssueMemoreflectedit.Nowyouaregettingreadytodoasettlementconferencestatementand/ortrialbriefwhichwillcontinuetopoundawayatthesameissues,evolvingassomeissuessettleandothersmayhavedevelopedmoreclearly.Goon to thenextchapter.

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CHAPTER 23SETTLEMENT CONFERENCES

judge helps you settle

What is a settlement conference?

Alllargecountiesandmanysmallonesrequirepartiestoattendasettlementconferencebeforeacasecangototrial.Fortunately,neitherpartyhastoaskforit,whichcouldbetakenasasignofweakness;rather,itisautomaticallysetbythecourtasaresultoffilinganAt-IssueMemorandum(orwhateveryourcountycallsit).

A.Whatisasettlementconference?B.PlanningfortheconferenceC.ThesettlementconferencestatementD.HowtodoasettlementconferenceE.IfyoureachanagreementF.Aftertheconference

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Asettlementconferenceisaninformalmeetingbetweenasettlementofficerandtheparties(orlawyers,iftherearelawyers)forbothsidestoexplorethepossibilitiesforsettlement.Judgesdon’twanttrials—theywantyoutoagree.Thisisnotbecausetheyarelazy,butbecausetheyknowtheywillneverunderstandyourlifeandfamilyaswellasyoudo;thatitwillbefarbetterforanychildrenifyoucanagree;andbetterforbothofyouinthelongrun.Theyalsoknowthattrialsareterriblyexpensive,bothforyouandforthecounty.Nonetheless,ittakestwotoagree,soifyourspouseisnotcooperative,youhavenochoicebuttopreparefortrialandactuallyhaveoneifnecessary.

Everyjudgewillhavehis/herownstyle.Somedon’tgiveitmucheffort,butotherjudgesplayanactiveroleinworkingoutasettlement.Theymight,forexample,tellthepartieswhatdecisionislikelygiventhestatedfacts.Onceyouknowwhatajudgeislikelytodo,youmightaswellaccepttheinevitableunlessyoucanroundupotherevidencethanyoupresentedat theconference.Sometimesajudgewillshuttlebetweenlawyersandtheparties,orperhapstalkseparatelytoeachpartyandpointoutinprivatetheproblemswithhisorherposition.

Doitagain.Ifthejudgefeelsyoumadegoodprogresstowardanagreementbuttherewasn’tenoughtimetofinish,he/shemightinsistonanotherconferenceorevenaseriesofsettlementconferences.Thiscouldresultinyourtrialdatebeingpostponed,evenindefinitely,ifthejudgefeelsitwillbeworthwhile.Ironically,ifonehascounsel,goingthroughaseriesofsettlementconferencescancostmorethanashorttrial.Nonetheless,inthesettlementprocessyouneedtostaypositiveandtryingoodfaithtosettle.

Doitformally.Attheendofanysettlementconference,ifanythingimportantwasagreed,youwanttopinitdownformally—eitherinwritingandsignedbythejudgeorontherecordinthepresenceofacourtreporter.Thisavoidsanybackslidingthatmightoccur.

Planning for the conference

YouwilluseyourSettlementConferenceStatementasyouroutlineforthesettlementconferenceitself.Thisisacontinuationoftheplanyoumadeandfollowedfromthebeginning(chapter6).Bythetimeyoushowup,youshouldbecompletelyfamiliarwithallthefacts,issues,andpriororders.Inparticular,youshouldknowwhatyouwantandbepreparedtomakedecisions.

Therearetwobasic—andopposite—approachestothesettlementconference:1.Beginwithissuesonwhichyouaremostlikelytogetagreement.2.Beginwiththetoughestissueortheonewiththegreatestdollarvalue.

Thepointofthefirstapproach,beginningwiththeeasiestissue,istogetsomemomentumgoinginwhichyouandyourspousearesaying“yes.”Youwanttobeginapatternofyes,yes,yesthatwillcarryintothemoredifficultissues.Whenyoureachdifficultandemotion-packedissues,stopandformalize(putinwriting)themattersyouhaveagreedonbeforeyougoon,otherwisewheneveryonegetsupset,youmightblowawaytheagreementsyouthoughtyouhad.

Thesecondapproach,beginningwiththetoughestorbiggestissue,canalsobeagoodidea.Ifyoucansettleoneortwobigissues,alltherestmightfallalmostautomaticallyintoplace.Ifyoucouldagree,forexample,aboutthehouseandsupport,remainingitemsaresmallenoughthatneitherofyoumightcaretofightoverthem.Usethefirstapproachifyouhaveaverydifficult,conflictedcaseinwhichagreeingonanythingatall,nomatterhowsmall,wouldbeanewapproachandsetanewtoneofcooperation.Usethesecondapproachifthingshavegonefairlywell,andyourexseemsprettyreasonable.

Asyougothroughyoursettlementconferenceandare,hopefully,agreeingonissues,useyourSettlement

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ConferenceStatementasachecklist tomakesurethatnothingfalls throughthecracks.Youdon’t,forexample,wanttooverlookhealthinsurancewhendoingsupport.YourSettlementConferenceStatementwillfocusyouonyourstrategicissuesbutalsoserveasanexhaustivechecklist.

The settlement conference statement

Youcanturnthisburdenintoapowerfulweaponifitisdonewell.ManycountiesrequireyoutoprepareadetailedSettlementConferenceStatement(sometimescalledaPretrialStatement)whichmustbeservedandfiledacertainnumberofdaysbeforetheconference(checkwithyourlawyer).

Calendardeadlinesandtasks.Payspecialattentiontoalldeadlines.Everytimealocalrulesayssomethinglike,“Tendaysbeforethesettlementconference,eachpartymustfileandserveasettlementconferencestatement,”youenterawholeseriesofdatesonyourcasecalendar,likethis:10daysbeforethesettlementconference,write“deadlineforservingSCstatement;”15daysbeforesettlementconference,write“deadlineformailingstatement;”30daysbeforesettlementconference,write“beginwritingSCstatement.”Findeverydeadlineyourlocalrulescontainandcalendardeadlinesforservingbymail(whichiseasier),personalservice(ifitistoolatetomail),filingwiththecourt,andpreparingthestatement.

1.HowtodoitYourSettlementConferenceStatementwillbeconsideredindetailbythejudgeandwillalsobeusedattrial.Manyattorneysdothisimportantdocumentcarelessly,butyouwillmakesureyourswon’t,becauseyouhavebeenthinkingaboutthefactsinyourcaseandworkingwithyourlawyeronthissincechapter6.

Justthefacts.ThepurposeoftheStatementistosummarizeyourentirecaseattrialinonedocument.Therulenowisthatfacts=documents+testimony.Thetestimonywillbeyourownandthatofwhateverwitnessesyoucanbringtocourtvoluntarilyorbysubpoena.Eachfactisastonethatyouusetobuildyourmonumentalstatement.Thisisaveryimportantopportunityforyourattorneytogetthestrengthofyourfactsandyouranalysisofthosefactsinfrontofajudge.Youattorneyisgoingtoprepareanoutstandingstatement.

Eachcountyhasitsownrequirementsthatwillusuallybeclearly(ifnotexhaustively)definedinlocalrules,buthereisageneralformatwithcommentsforyoutoconsiderforyourownstatement:

I.INTRODUCTION

A.SUMMARY.Thefirstparagraphshouldgivethejudgeasummaryofyourbasicperspectiveonthecase,basedonfacts—documents+witnesstestimony—thatyoucanprove.Itshouldbeobjective,notbeaccusatoryorcritical.

B.BACKGROUNDandCHRONOLOGY.Ifyourcaseisrelativelysimple,youdon’tneedmuchmorethandatesofmarriageandseparation,children’sbirthdates,datethePetitionwasfiled(andservediftherewasadelaybetweenfilingandserving),andwhatbothpartiesdoforalivingorarecapableofdoing,includingexperience, education, trainingandpast employment. Ifyour case is complicated, it cangothroughallthemajorfactsandarrangetheminchronologicalorder.

Next, the statementwill dealwith every single issue that has not already been decided. It should beorganizedundercategoriesliketheonessuggestedbelow.Theyareusuallyputinorderofwhat’smostimportanttoyouand,ofcourse,omitanycategoriesthatarenotindispute.

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II. CHILD CUSTODY and VISITATION

The statement should explain your case to the judge in the same manner as discussed above: Introduction, chronology (if complicated at all), then discussion of the separate issues. If these issues were separated onto another track (as happens in some counties) and decided, and if they are relevant to any presently pending issues, there should be a thumbnail outline of any custody/visitation order, but it should be clear that these issues are not presently pending for trial. In discussing child custody, always, always focus on the child’s needs, not on your own. The standard followed by all judges is “best interest of the child.” This means you have no interest. The parent’s anguished cry of “I need more time with my child” will not move a judge. You need to explain why your child needs you and will benefit from more time with you.

III. CHILD and SPOUSAL SUPPORT

You need (1) a current Income and Expense Declaration of your own, with (2) your four most recent pay stubs, and (3) a computerized support printout. The printout will be prepared by your specialist attorney.

As to child support, if the judge accepts the data and options used in your computer calculation, the support reported will be ordered. Explain how you calculated the percentage of timeshare and how you arrived at the input data on the computerized support printout. As to spousal support, this is resolved on a case-by-case basis, not by any guideline amount. Family Code section 4320 contains a list of “factors” which the court must consider in setting spousal support. Your statement should discuss each of these factors. If your attorney advised you to get an expert to provide an opinion on the 4320 factors in your case, which the good attorneys most often will do on this issue, the opinion will be referenced here. The statement should tell the court why it should set a certain amount of support, whether it should be stepped up or down over time, and what should be the duration of spousal support. Finally, for any kind of support situation, discuss health insurance, life insurance, and any other types of benefits you want addressed. All temporary orders for insurance will be lost if not repeated in the Judgment.

IV. SEPARATE PROPERTY

Separate property is anything you had before marriage, earned after separation, or which you received as a gift or inheritance. Also, rent, interest or dividends received from separate property is separate. Sometimes you can retain separate property even if you added your spouse’s name to the title. Your statement should list every piece of separate property and explain where it came from and why it is separate.

V. COMMUNITY PROPERTY

Under this heading, your statement should list A, B, C, etc. to address each significant item (or group of items) of community property, beginning with the most valuable and going down to the least. The statement won’t, or shouldn’t, list every single piece of furniture, but group smaller items into categories like “Tools,” or “Furnishings,” or, if you think it will help, you can attach documents or a separate list or set of lists of where each item is referred to as an “exhibit.” Each item on the attached list should be clearly labeled as Exhibit A, B, C, etc. and identified in words—“copy of deed to family home,” or “household furnishings.”


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VI.RESTRAININGORDERS

Makesureyourequestthecontinuationofanyexistingordersthatyouwanttokeepeffectiveoverthenextthreeyears.Thestatementshouldexplainbrieflythenatureofyourex’sconductthatrequiredtheinitialprotection.Don’tassumethatjustbecausethecourtgrantedaninitialrestrainingorder,thejudgewillautomaticallyrepeatitnow.Makeyourcase.Ifyourexhasviolatedorders,thatshouldbeexplained.Ifyouneedmorespecificorderstotrytocontroltheconduct,thatshouldbeexplainedwithastatementofwhatordersyouwant.

VII.ATTORNEYFEESandCOSTS

Therearetwotypesoffeeordersthecourtcouldmake:(1)basedondisparityofaccesstofunds,and(2)basedonmisconduct.Judgesaremuchmoreinclinedtomakeordersbasedondisparityofaccesstofundsandlesslikelytosortthingsoutenoughtoactuallypunishsomeone,thoughitdoeshappen.

•Thefirsttypeoforderisbasedonasignificantdifferenceinaccesstofundsandtheabilityofonesidetopayforattorneysforbothsides.However,keepinmindthatevenifonespouseearnsmuchmorethantheother,afterpayment/receiptofsupportandtaxes,thepartiesmaybeprettymuchinanequalposition.Whenjudgesmakeordersforfees,theysometimestaketheapproachthatifonehas,forexample,60%ofthecombinednetspendablefamilyincome,thatoneshouldpay60%ofthetotalattorneyfees.Therefore,thatspousewillbeorderedtopayonlyapartoftheother’sfeesandcostsonaneed-and-abilitybasis.

•Thesecondtypeoforderisbasedontheotherparty’smisconduct,whichwouldhavetobeexplainedindetail.Additionally,judgeswanttoknowhowmuchitcostyoutofightthemisconduct.Forexample,youmighthavepaid$50,000inattorneyfeesnomatterwhat,butyourtotalfeeswere$100,000,andyoufeeltheextra$50,000wascausedbyyourex’smisconduct.Youneedtoexplainthisinspecificdetailtothejudge,notjustaccuseyourexinvagueterms.

Ifyourissuesincludesupportorattorneyfees,youmustattachacompletedIncomeandExpenseDeclarationwithanyattachmentsrequiredbylocalrule,suchaspaystubs.ItalsoisusefultoattachaScheduleofAssetsandDebtsalthoughyoumaynotwanttoincludeaccountnumbersinthecopyfiledwiththecourt.

Thejudgewantsanoverview,not50pagesofhomework.Ajudgeonceaskedalawyerwhyhewrotesuchalongbrief,andthelawyersaid,“Ididn’thavetimetodoashortone.”

Includeallclaims.Thestatementshouldincludeallclaimsthatyouaremaking,includingeventheonesthatyouexpecttogiveupinthecourseofnegotiations.TheSettlementConferenceStatementisnotasettlementoffer.Itisalistofeverysingleclaimthatyoucanreasonablyassertattrial.Ifyouleaveoutaclaim,youloseit.

Attachappraisalsandexams.Ifdivisionofpropertyisanissue,andifthere’snoagreementonvalues,thenanypropertyofsignificantvalueshouldbeappraised,oryoushouldexplaininyourstatementwhyyoudidn’tdothis(forexample,theothersidewouldn’tcooperate,andyoudidn’thavetimebeforetrialtofileamotion).Youneedtoappraiseeverythingfromexpensivefurnituretobusinessestoresidences.MostcountiesrequirethatappraisalsandreportssuchasthoseofvocationalexaminersbeattachedtotheSettlementConferenceStatement.Failuretodosocanresultinthejudgerefusingtohearyourevidence.

Peopleoftenthinktheyhaveanagreementonthevalueofproperty,butitisn’twritten.Then,whentheycometothesettlementconference,theyfindoutthattheirspousedoesn’tacknowledgetheagreement.


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Thiscanhappeninanycasewherethereisnowritten,signedagreementonvalues.Duetothehighcostofappraisals,youmightwanttonegotiateanagreementonthevalueofallorsomeofyourproperty,assumingyoucanresearchitslikelyfairmarketvalue.Anoralagreementisnotenough;youneedwrittenagreementsonvalues,signedbypartiesandcounsel,oryouneedappraisals.

Trialofminorissuesmightnotbeallowed.Thecourtmaynotpermityoutogototrialaboutminormatterssuchasthefurniture,furnishings,appliances,etc.(Thesemaynotbeminortoyouemotionally,butthejudgewillregardthemassuch.)Ifminormattersarenotagreedonbytheendofthesettlementconference,thecourtcansendthoseissuestoarbitration.Thearbitratorwillchargemorethan$400perhour,andthiscouldbuyalotoffurniture.Itmakessensetoagreeontheseissues.Ontheotherhand,youshouldnotgiveallthefurnituretoyourspousejustbecauseyourspousewillnotagreetoafairdivision.Ittakestwotoagree.Youcan’tdoitalone.

How to do a settlement conference

Bepreparedtospendanentirehalf-day,orevenafulldayattheconference.Unlessyoualreadyhaveanall-purposejudge,youmightbeassignedtoajudgepro-tempore,whoisalmostalwaysreferredtoasa“judgepro-tem,”meaningadeputizedlawyerservingasatemporaryjudge.

Youwillusethesettlementconferenceasagoodopportunitytosettleyourcaseaccordingtotheplanyou’vebeenworkingonsincethebeginning(chapter6).Ifyoursettlementconferenceisinfrontofthejudgewhowillhearthetrial,then,evenifyoudon’tsettleyoucanusethisasanopportunitytomakeagoodimpression.Youwanttocomeacrossasveryreasonableandreadytocompromise,butalsoasfirmandreadytofightiftheothersidewon’tfollowlawandreason.

Mostconferencesinjudge’schambers.Ifthepartieshavelawyers,initiallyonlythelawyersgotalktothejudge.Ifapartydoesnothavealawyer,thatpartywilltalktothejudge.Thepartiesdohavetobepresent,butifthereareoneortwolawyersinthecase,thejudgewilltrytoavoidthewearandtearofhavingdirectcontactwithpartiesandwilltrytosettlethecasewithlawyersonly,ifthatwillwork.Theconferenceusuallyoccurs“inchambers”—thejudge’spersonaloffice—ratherthaninthecourtroom,butitcanalsobeinacourtroomoraconferenceroominthecourthouse.

How the case is presented. The judge reviews the Settlement Conference Statements of bothparties,thentheparties(ortheirlawyers)andthejudgediscussissues.Eachpartyindicatesthatattrial,he/shewouldpresentcertainevidenceandtherecouldbeadebateastohowthelawshouldbeapplied.Forexample,ifthereisanargumentaboutsupport,yourspousecouldtellthejudgeaboutevidencethatyouhaveadditionalincomeandyoucouldexplainwhyyouneverhaditordon’thaveitnowthatyou’redivorcing.Thejudgethenletsthepartiesknowhowhe/shewoulddecideifthematterweretogototrialontheevidencejustindicated.Ifthejudgedoesthis,thereisnotmuchpointingoingtotrialunlessyoucangetmoreevidence.Differentjudgestendtorespondtocasesinprettymuchthesameway,soevenifyougetadifferentjudge,youwouldprobablygetthesameresult.

Possible penalty for not taking judge’s advice. If there’s no agreement, the judgemightwrite his/herrecommendationsonapaperwhichwillbeplacedinasealedenvelopeandnotvieweduntilafterdecision.Evenif this trick isnotused,whether thepartieswerereasonable in theirpositionswillshowin theirSettlementConferenceStatements.Aftertrial,ifitappearsthatoneofthepartieswasunreasonableinnotsettlingalonglinessuggestedbythejudge,thatis,ifonepartydidnotachieveanythingbyinsistingonatrial,thenthetrialjudgemayawardattorneyfeesorsanctionsduetothatparty’sunreasonableness.Forexample,let’ssaythatatthesettlementconferencethejudgetellsthepartiesthatacertainamountof

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spousalsupportshouldbepaid,butthehusbandrefusestoagree.Ifthecasegoestotrialandthetrialjudgedecidesonasimilaramountforspousalsupport,thenthatjudgemightmakethehusbandpaythewife’sattorneyfeesorpartofthembecauseofhisunreasonablerefusaltosettle.

Youneedtogiveveryseriousconsiderationtotherecommendationofthejudgeatthesettlementconference.Ifhe/shetellsyousomethingyoudon’tlike,don’tignoreit;consideritveryseriously,oryoucouldenduppayingifthejudgewasright.

If you reach an agreement

Ifyoureachanagreementatyoursettlementconferenceandyouwanttomakesureitisbindingandneitherofyoucanbackout,therearetwowaystodothis.Youcanasktohavetheagreementrecitedontherecord(acourtreportertakesdowneveryword),orasktohaveitwrittendownandsignedbythejudgeafterthepartieshavesignedit.Ifthereappearstobeanagreement,butyouaren’tsureitiswhatyoureallywant,itisokaytoaskforabriefrecesssoyoucantakeafewminutestothinkthingsover.Itisalsookaytosaythatyouwanttogiveitcarefulconsiderationanddecideinafewdays.Ontheotherhand,iftheothersideiswillingtoagreeandyoudelayyourdecision,theymightchangetheirmindlater.Asettlementconferencerequiresaclearmind.Youshouldn’tletyourselfgetrushedintosomethingyoudon’tagreewithbecausetimerunsout,butifyou’vereachedasettlementyouwant,youshouldusethisopportunitytomakeitfinal.

Judgmentnow?Ifyouhaveacompleteagreementonallissues,thejudgemaywanttogoontherecord,detailtheagreement,taketestimonyonthejurisdictionalfacts,andrenderaJudgment.

Pretrialorders?IfthejudgewantstodoaJudgmentontherecord,besuretobringupthequestionofpretrialorders,ifyouhadanyandstillwantthemtocontinue.Anyordersmadebythecourtbeforetrial—whetherastheresultofanOSC,motion,oragreement(stipulation)—willceasetobeeffectiveiftheyarenotrestatedintheJudgment(withthepossibleexceptionofdomesticviolenceorders).

PrepareandpresenttheJudgment.Onceyouleavecourt,oneofthepartieswillhavetoprepareaJudgmentexactlyalongthelinesspokenbythejudge,thenpresentitforsignaturealongwithaNoticeofEntryofJudgmentandenvelopes.ReadaboutdoingtheJudgmentinchapter26.

Partialagreement.Ifyoureachanagreementonsomebutnotallissues,thenyoushouldasktorecitewhateveragreementyoureachedinopencourt,orthejudgewillsignawrittensummaryofyouragreement.Bygettingitpinneddownontherecord,youwillgototriallateronlyonissuesthathavenotbeenresolved.Evenifonepartywantstoinsistona“packagedeal”withallissuessettlingornoneofthem,thejudgewillusuallyresistgoingtotrialonissueswherethereisnodisagreementjustbecausethereisdisagreementonotherissues.Butsometimesthejudgewillletsomeonedemanda“packagedeal,”soyouwillproceedtotrialonallissuesunlessyouhaveacompleteagreement.

After the conference

Ifyoudonotsettleyourcaseattheconference,younowhavetospeakwithyourlawyercarefullytoseewhattheywantyoutodobeforetrial.

Manycountieshaveaprocedurewithadeadlineforgivingtheothersideinformationaboutanyexpertwitnessesyou intend touseat trial.Somecountiesalso requireyou toexchange informationfornon-expertwitnesses,soyouhavetolisteveryoneyoumightevenpossiblycalltotestify.

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Most counties require exchange of documents that will be used at trial. These deadlines areabsolutelycrucial toyourcase. Ifyoumissadeadline,youcouldfindyourselfat trialwith the judgeprohibitingyoufromusingwitnessesordocumentsthatwerenotlisted,which,simplyput,meansyouwouldlose.


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CHAPTER 24MOTION TO POSTPONE THE TRIAL

Reasons to get your case postponed

In order to continue a trial, you must show “good cause,” but with or without good cause,continuancesaregenerallydisfavoredbyjudges,soyouwillbeswimmingupstreamifyoutrytohaveyourtrialcontinued.Youwillneedtoshowthecourtaverygoodreasonwhyyoucannotproceedatthetimescheduled.

Good reasons for a continuance•Unavailabilityofanessentialwitness.Ifyouhaveacrucialwitnesswhocannotbeavailableatthetimeoftrial,thisisagoodreasontocontinueit.However,themerefactthatawitnesssayshe/sheisbusyonthedateoftrialdoesnotmakehim/herlegallyunavailable.Ifyoucouldhavesubpoenaedthewitnessandneglectedtodoso,thiswouldundermineyourmotion.Ontheotherhand,ifthewitnesswasoutsidetheUnitedStatesatthetime

A.ReasonstogetyourcasepostponedB.TrytoarrangeanagreedcontinuanceC.Motiontocontinuetrialandextenddiscovery

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you received your trial date and has not yet returned, this would be a good reason to obtain acontinuance.

•Trialsettooearly.Ifyouropponentaskedtooearlyforthemattertobesetonthetrialcalendarandyouarewithin45daysoftrial,butdeclarationsofdisclosurehavenotyetbeencompleted,thetrialwouldneedtobecontinued.Ifyouhadplentyoftimetoprepare,butyouwerejusttooupsettodoit,thisisnotareasonthatislikelytoinspireajudgetocontinueyourcase.Youmustshowthatyouhavetrieddiligently,anditwastheothersidethatdidthingslikedelayingdiscovery,thenacourtmightcontinueyourtrial.

•Timetogetanattorney.Judgesdefinitelypreferpeopletoberepresented.Keepnotesofyoureffortstogetanattorneyandbepreparedtotellthejudgewhoyoucalled,dateandtime,andwhattheysaid.Ifthejudgeseesthatyouarereallytryingtogetanygoodlawyeroraparticularlawyer,thiscouldhelpyougetyourcontinuance.Ontheotherhand,ifissuesofdomesticviolenceareinvolvedandsafetyisanissue,thejudgemaywanttohearthatmatterrightaway,withorwithoutyoubeingrepresented.Thejudgewillnotbehappytoseeyoushowupthenexttimewithoutanattorney,sodon’tusethisexcuseunlessyouplantofollowthrough.Ofcourse,youcouldaskforacontinuancetoconsultanattorney,inwhichcaseshowuplaterwithproofthatyoudidthatandarenowreadytoproceed.

• Prepaidvacations.Often,peoplehaveprepaidvacations, thenlatergetacourtdatethatfallsduringtheirvacation.Mostcourtsaresympathetictothisproblemandwon’twanttomakeyouloseyourmoney.However,ifyourcaseputsforththenotionthatyouarefinanciallystrapped,thecourtcoulddisapproveofyourtakingaveryexpensivevacationanddenyyourmotionorrememberitwhenyoucrypovertyattrial.

•Familyemergencies.Ifyou,yourchildren,oracloserelativeareterriblyill,orthereisadeathinyourfamily,youmightgetacontinuance.However,astothedeath,manyjudgesseemnottounderstandhowlongittakespeopletorecover,sotheymightexpectyoubackinactionaweekortwolater.

•Miscellaneouspossibilities.Youhadtomove,oryouhavehadserioushealthproblems,oritisthebusyseasoninyourbusinessandyouhavebeenrequiredtoworkverylonghours.

Reasons that might not fly Sometimesyoureallywantacontinuancebecauseyouoryourlawyerdidn’tprepareforthetrial,butyoucan’tusethisasanexcuse.Evenifyoutrytoconcealyourtruemotive,thejudgemightfigureitoutanddenyyourcontinuance,especiallyifyoufloatsomelameexcuseslike:•Didn’tdotheworkontime.•Upset,couldn’tgetstarted.However,ifyouwereunderadoctor’scareorhospitalizedfor,say,depression,thatmightwork.•Don’twanttobedivorced.

Prove it if youcan. If youhavedocumentation tobackupyour reason—other thanyourownstatement—attach it to yourmotion or take it to the appearance. For example, if you have a prepaidvacation,youneedtoattachcopiesofticketsorastatementtoshowthedates,payment,andthefactthatitisnotrefundable.Ifyouarerequiredbyyourjobtotravelonthedateofthehearing,youshouldgetaletterfromyouremployerandattachit.


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Thejudgewillalsowanttoknowhowmuchtimeyouneedforacontinuance—aweek?Two?Amonth?More?Bepreparedtosayhowmuchtimeyouneedandtojustifywhyyouareaskingforaparticularamountoftime.

Whenmakingamotion,youneedtopresentspecificfacts,notjustmakegeneralassertions.Forexample,ifyouweren’tabletoprepareforthetrialbecauseyourspousestonewalledyouandrefusedtogiveyouinformation,youneedtopresentfactstoshowthejudgejusthowlongittooktogetessentialinformationandhowflimsyyourspouse’sexcuseswere.Allofthisshouldbeputintoyourdeclarationalongwithlettersanddocuments,perhapsalogofphonecalls,tosupportyourfacts.Merelystatingitasaconclusionisnotsufficient.

Warning! Prepare as if your request will be denied Itisalwayspossiblethatajudgewilldenyyourrequestforacontinuance,nomatterhowgoodyourreasons.Ifyouhavethebadlucktomakeyourmotionwhenthecourtisonacampaigntoclearupitscalendarbybeingtoughoncontinuances,yourmotioncouldbedeniedeventhoughitotherwisewouldhavebeengranted.Itisabsolutelyimperativethatwhileyoumakeyourmotiontocontinueandwaitforyourhearing,youstillpreparefortrialontheassumptionthatyourmotionmightbedenied.Youneedto(1)movetocontinuethetrialand(2)servesubpoenasandpreparevigorouslyfortrialincaseyoulosethemotion.Howtopreparefortrialisdiscussedinthenextchapter.

Reasons for continuing a hearing on OSC or motion WhenitcomestoahearingonanOSCormotion,youcanoftengetawaywithshowingupatthehearingandmakingaverbalrequesttocontinue.Thosehearingsaredifferentfromatrialinthatyougetshorternotice,soitcouldbereasonablenottodoawrittenmotion.However,ifyouhadnoticeofahearingonamotiontotakeplacemanyweeksinthefuture,itwouldbeexpectedthatyouwouldfileawrittenmotiontocontinue.Ifthejudgefeelsyouwaitedtoolongtomakeyourmotion,youwillbelesslikelytogetyourcontinuance.ReasonsforcontinuingahearingofanOSCormotionwouldbethesameasthosediscussedaboveforcontinuingatrial.

Try to arrange an agreed continuance

If both you and your spouse (or his/her attorney) agree to continue your hearing, settlementconferenceortrialtoanotherdate,thecourtwillalmostalwayspermitit.However,judgessometimestakeaharderlineontrialandsettlementconferencedates.Ifbothsideswanttocontinueatrial,butthejudgedoesn’twantto,thejudgemighttakethecaseoff-calendarentirely.Thenyouwillhavetofilepapersagaintogetanothertrialdate.

Contact the other side Yourattorneyshouldcontactyourspouse,orhis/herattorney,andexplainwhyyouthinkalaterdatewouldbemoreappropriate.

You can also agree that the other sidewill arrange the continuance. If that happens, an emailconfirmationwithdatesthatareacceptabletoyouisessential.Findoutiftheywillarrangethecontinuancebyphoneorinpersonatcourtonthedayofthehearing.Ifitisdoneincourt,itwouldbeagoodideaforyourattorneytobetheretomakesurethenextdatewhichischosenisonethatworksforyou.Iftheydoitbyphone,yourattorneyshouldcalltheclerktomakesureitwasdoneasagreed.

If the other side agrees Ifyourattorneygetsyourspouse(orhis/herattorney)toagreetocontinuetheappearance,besuretoaskforanemailconfirmationoftheagreement,withalettertothesameeffectsentbymail.If

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theywon’tdothis,anemailconfirmingtheagreementshouldbesentrequestingthattheyreplyifyourcommunicationdoesnotstatethearrangementcorrectly.

Stipulatedorders.Insomecases,youwillneedtogetanorderinadditiontothecontinuance.Ifyouappearincourtatthetimesetfortheappearance,yourattorneycanmakeyourrequestorally;otherwiseyouwillneedtoprepareastipulatedorder,signedbytheotherside,thatcontinuesthehearingtoanotherdateand,ifnecessary,makesadditionalorders,suchas: •Iftherearerestrainingordersagainstyourspouse,youneedthejudgetoorderthemtostayineffectuntilthedateofthenexthearing. •Ifitisatrialthatisbeingpostponedandyouneedthediscoverydatetobeextended,youwillneedanorderextendingthecutoffdatefordiscovery.

If the other side does not agree Iftheothersiderefusesyourrequesttocontinue,yourattorneywillmostlikelyemailthemaletterthatrestatesyourrequest,withreasons,andstateyourunderstandingthattheyrefused.Ifthefirsttimeyouaskforacontinuanceisorallyincourt,sometimestheopposingpartyoropposingcounselwillactasifthisisaveryinconvenientsurprise.Butifyourattorneyhastheconfirmingemail,theyprobablywon’ttrytopullthis.Iftheydoactsurprisedandinconvenienced,yourattorneycanshowthelettertothejudge.

Trials.Ifyourspousedoesnotwanttocontinueatrial,youneedtofileaRequestForOrdertocontinuethetrial.

Hearings.Iftheothersidedoesnotagreetoacontinuanceandyouhavetimetofileamotion,doit,probablywithanordershorteningtime.Otherwise,yourlawyerneedstogotocourtattheappointedtime.Thebestthingistodoboth.Youmustbereadytoproceedasbestyoucanincasethejudgedoesnotgrantyourcontinuance.

Motion to continue trial and extend discovery Amotiontocontinueatrialshouldbemadeinwritingasearlyaspossible,justassoonasyouknowyou’llneedthecontinuance.Ifthejudgefeelsyouwaitedtoolong,thatcouldworkagainstyou,especiallyiftheothersidehasalreadygotwitnesseslinedupandsubpoenaed.Thejudgedoesn’tliketoseetheothersidespendattorneyfees,timeandeffortpreparingforatrialthatdoesn’toccur,soyoumightbeaskedtopaytheirfeesifyouhavebeenslow.Don’tdelay.

Timingofmotion.Tobeofmaximumbenefit,yourmotiontocontinuewillhavetobeheardnotonlybeforethetrialdate,butalsobeforetheSettlementConferenceStatementisdue.

Extending time for discovery Discoveryisautomaticallycutoff30daysbeforethedateforyourtrial.Evenifthejudgeordersyourtrialpostponed,thisdoesnotmeanthatdiscoveryisreopened.Ifthereasonyouneedtocontinuethetrialisthatyouarelackingessentialinformation,inyourmotionyoumustalsoasktoreopendiscovery.Themotionshouldexplainwhyyouhavefailedtoobtaintheinformationinatimelymannerandconvincethejudgetogiveyoumoretime.Thisisnoteasy.Thejudgeismorelikelytograntyourmotionifyourspouseresisteddiscoveryandyetaskedthecourtforanearly trialdate thanifyoujustweresoupsetthatyoucouldn’tdothework.Allfacts thatsupportyourneedforacontinuance,andyourclaimthatyouhavediligentlypreparedyourcase,mustbepresentedinyourcontinuancemotion.Judgesdon’tlikecontinuances.Alotofpeopleaskforcontinuancesjustbecausetheydidn’tdowhattheyweresupposedtodoontime.Youneedtoconvincethejudgethatisnotthesituationinyourcase.

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CHAPTER 25GOING TO TRIAL

Preparing for trial

Subpoenawitnesses.Willyouneedtosubpoenawitnessesorrecordstoyourtrial?Yourattorneywillhavetodothisfarinadvance,atleast30days.

Visit the court.Well before your trial, you should visit a courtroom towatch some trials, getfamiliarwithhowthingsworkatyourcourthouse,howwitnessesareexamined,andhowjudgesconducttrials,especiallywithunrepresentedpeople.The trick is tofigureoutwhichcourt towatch.Askyourattorneyinwhichdepartmentyourcasewillbetried.Whilewatching,listencarefullytoanythingthejudgetellsthepeoplewhoareintrialabouthowhe/shelikestheevidencetobepresented.

A.PreparingfortrialB.HowatrialisconductedC.HowtobeagoodwitnessD.PretrialorderslostifnotrestatedE.Attrial’send

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How a trial is conducted

Thetrialisthetimetopresentyourwitnesses,includingyourowntestimony,andpresentdocumentsthatwillbeidentifiedandverifiedbythosewitnesses.

Nojury.Inadivorcetrialthereisnojury.Thejudgemakesalldecisions.

Shouldyouacceptajudgepro-tem?Whenyourcaseiscalledfortrial,youmightbeaskedifyouwillacceptajudgepro-tempore,or“judgepro-tem.”Lawyersneversay“yes”tothatquestionwithoutknowingwhothespecificjudgepro-temisandbeingsurethathe/sheisafair-mindedperson.Rejectingajudgepro-temcouldresultindelayofyourtrial.Ifyouknowandlikeyourjudge,youcanrefusethejudgepro-tem.Ifyoudislikeyourjudge,youcantakeyourchanceswithajudgepro-tem.Ifyoudon’tknowthepro-temandareneutraltowardsyourjudgeandyouwanttostall,refusethejudgepro-tem.Ifyouwanttohurryupandgettotrial,acceptthejudgepro-tem.Yourlawyershouldhelpyouevaluateanddecide.

Ifnocourtroomisavailable.Atthetimeanddatesetfortrial,itsometimeshappensthatnocourt-roomisavailable,soyoumighthavetowaitanywherefromanhourtoseveraldays,weeksorevenmonthsforacourtroom.Youneedtobepreparedtobeginimmediately,butyoualsoneedtobepreparedforthepossibilitythatyourcasewillbecontinued.Thisiswhyyouhavehadallyoursubpoenaedwitnessessigntheagreementtoappearonphonenotice.Whentrialofyourcaseactuallybegins,yourlawyerwillphonethewitnessesandtellthemtocometocourt.Youmusthavearrangedthiswiththembeforehand,andyoumustbeverysuretheywillcomepromptlyandthattheyknowthatthejudgemightissueabenchwarrantforthemiftheydon’tshowup.

Callthedaybefore.Onthedaybeforetrial,yourlawyercanphonetheclerkinthecourtroomtowhichyourcaseisassigned,orthemastercalendarclerk,andaskwhethercasessetfortrialareactuallygettingcourtroomsonthenextday.Theymightsighandsay,“Nothingisgettingout.”Thatmeansthattherearealotofcasesshowingupreadyfortrial,butallcourtroomsarefullandeverythingisgettingpostponedbythecourt.Ortheymayindicatethattheyarenotsure.Ofcourse,youcanneverrelyonaclerktellingyouthattherewillnotbeacourtroom,butitissomeindication.Ifyouarealmost100%surethatyourcasewillnotgototrial,youshouldputyourwitnessesonphone-callstandby.Ifyouarealmost100%sureyourcasewillgototrial,confirmwithallyourwitnessesbyphonethetimetheyshouldcometothecourthouse.

The trial begins Whotestifiesattrial.Inmostdivorcecases,onlythehusbandandwifetestify,althoughyouareentitled to present anywitnesseswho have relevant information. If custody/visitation is an issue, thecourt’sevaluatorcan testifyandeitherpartycanpresentanopposingexpertorotherwitnesses. If thevalueofpropertyisanissue,expertssuchasrealestateappraisers,actuariesforpensions,andbusinessappraisers for businesses can testify regarding values.Anyonewith relevant information, including achild,maytestify,butajudgecanrefusetopermitachildtobeinvolved.

Petitionergoesfirst.Firstthepetitionerpresentshis/hercase.Thejudgecandecidetotakewitnessesinadifferentorder,butisnotlikelytodosounlessthereareunusualcircumstances,suchasanout-of-townexpertwhoneedstobecalledearlyorlate.Aftereachwitnessfinisheshis/hertestimony,theotherpartyorlawyerwillbeallowedtoquestionor“cross-examine”thatwitness,thenbacktothefirstsideforanynecessaryclarificationofnewpointsraised.Onceallofpetitioner’sevidencehasbeenpresented,therespondentwillbepermitted topresentallofhis/herwitnesses, followedbycross-examinationbypetitionerorpetitioner’sattorney.Afterthat,thepetitionercanpresentrebuttalevidence,ifany,totrytocounterwhateverrespondentpresented,thentherespondentcanpresentrebuttalevidence.However,it

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isnotproperonrebuttaltorepeatwhatyoualreadypresentedorgointoanynewmattersthatwerenotpresentedintheotherparty’scase.Rebuttalisonlytorespondtonewevidencetheotherjustraised.

Anatomy of a trial•Openingstatements.Thisisabriefstatementofthefactsyouaregoingtoprove.Youdonotargue.Juststatethefactsinaverybrief,objectivebutcompellingstoryofyourcase.• Petitioner’s case. Petitioner presents witnesses, including him/herself. After each witness testifies,Respondent gets to cross-examine (askquestions), but onlyon subjects testified to by thewitness ondirectexamination.Aftercross,Petitionercanaskquestionsonnewsubjectsraisedoncross-examination.Petitionerrests,caseover.•Respondent’scase.Respondentpresentswitnesses,Petitionercross-examines,Respondentcandore-crossifthere’sanythingnewraisedoncross.•Rebuttal.PetitionerputsonwitnessesorintroducesevidencetoopposenewpointsmadebyRespondentthatwerenotaddressedbypetitioner’soriginalevidence.Respondentcancross-examine.Itisnotpropertorepeatwhatyoualreadypresentedorgointoanynewmattersthatwerenotpresentedintheotherparty’scase.•Closingstatements(argument).Eachpartygetsachancetosumuptheircaseandarguetheirpointofviewbasedonallevidenceandlaw.Thisisthetimetodiscussthefactsyou’veprovedandhowthelawappliestothem.Youcannotarguefactsonwhichnoevidencewasintroducedandadmitted.

Issueswithpartialagreement.Sometimespartiesagreeonsomeofthefactsinanissue,suchasthevalueofthehome,andonlydisagree,forexample,astowhetheritshouldbesold,oronepartybeallowedtocontinuelivinginit.Ifthiskindofsituationarises,whenthematterfirstcomesup,yourlawyerwillstatetothejudgewhatfactsbothpartiesagreeonandgettheothersidetostateoutloudthathe/sheagrees,too.Also,whattheissuesarethatremaintobedecided.Thenyouproceedtopresentevidenceonmattersonwhichthereisnoagreement.

Objection,sustained,overruled.Intrial,someonemightaskaquestionthatislegallyobjectionable,notproper.Whenthatoccurs,itisappropriatetosay,“Iobject.”However,thepersonwhoisobjectingissupposedtostatethelegalbasisoftheobjection,suchas,“Iobject,hearsay”or“Iobject,irrelevant.”Thejudgemightaskthepartywhoobjectstosaywhyhe/shethinksthequestionisimproper,thentheothersidecansaywhyitisproper.Whenanobjectionismade,thewitnessshouldnotanswerthequestionbutshouldwaituntilthejudgeindicateswhetherornotthequestionisproper.Aftereveryobjection,thejudgeshouldsaythattheobjectioniseither“sustained”or“overruled.”“Sustained”meansthattheobjectionisgoodandthewitnessshouldnotanswer.“Overruled”meanstheobjectionisnotgoodandthewitnessshould answer thequestion.After all this, thewitnessmightbe confused.At any time, if thewitnessisconfusedordoesn’tunderstandthequestion, thewitnessshouldsimplysay,“Idon’tunderstandthequestion,”or“Couldyoupleaserepeatthequestion?”Yourlawyercanaskthecourtreporterto“readbackthequestion.”Thatway,ifitwasagoodquestionthatwithstoodanobjection,youdon’thavetothinkitupalloveragain.Sometimesajudgewillnotruleoutloudonanobjection.Ifyourlawyerwantsaclearrecord,he/shewillsay,“YourHonor,fortherecord,I’dappreciatearulingonmyobjection.”

Ifanobjectionissustained,youmusteitherdropitortrytorephraseittoavoidtheobjection.Forexample,iftheobjectionisthatthequestionwascompound,youcouldtrytobreakitdownintosmallerparts.Oriftheobjectionwas“assumesafactnotinevidence,”youcantrytoaskfoundationquestionsaboutfactsthatwerenotearlierinevidence,thenaskyourquestionbasedonthosefacts.

Nohearsayallowed(ifthere’sanobjectiontoit).Generally,awitnesscannottalkaboutanythinghe/shedidnotpersonallyseeorhear.Amongotherthings,thismeanstheyusuallycan’tsaywhatsomeoneelsesaid.Italsomeansthatyoucan’tpresentaletterordeclarationatthetrialinplaceoflivetestimony.


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Youcanpresentabilltoshowtheamountofthebill,butyoucan’tpresentletters.Thedifferenceisthatthebillisnotassertinga“fact.”Thebillitselfisthefact.Theletterthatstatesfactsishearsay.Notevenanotarizedstatementunderpenaltyofperjurywillbeallowedifyourspouseobjects.Iftheotherpartytriestosubmitlettersordeclarationsorevenpolice/hospitalreports,yourlawyerneedstoobjectthatthesearehearsay.However,therearemanyexceptionstothehearsayrule,andthejudgemightacceptcertaintypesofhearsaysuchasaconfessionoradmissionagainstthedeclarant’sinterest.

Twocommonexamplesofhearsayaremedicalreportsandpolicereports.Ifyouwanttointroduceintoevidencemedicalmattersorfactsthatoccurredwhenthepolicewerecalled,youmusthavethedoctororlaw-enforcementpersonpresentincourttotestify.Whattheywrotedownatsomeothertimeishearsayandsuchanobjectionwillbesustained.Youneedtheactual,livewitnesspresentincourt,notjustthereport,record,letter,ornotarizedstatement.

Entering a document into evidence.You can’t simply bring letters or declarations from otherpeople.Ifyouwantthecourttoknowwhatsomeonehastosay,youmustbringthatpersontothetrial.Hearsayiswhenthedocumentisofferedtoprovethetruthofthefactsstatedintheletter.Butiftheletterisnotofferedtoshowthatwhatitsaysistruebutonlytoexplainthestateofmindof,say,thepersonwhoreceivedtheletter,thenitisnothearsay.Youcanovercomethehearsayobjectionbysaying“I’mnotofferingitforthetruthofthematterasserted,”butthenthewritingmustberelevanttosomethingelse,likeaparty’sstateofmind.

Howtointroduceadocumentintoevidence.Whenyourlawyerwantstohavethejudgeconsiderawriting,he/shemust introduce it intoevidence.This isdonewhenyouare testifyingoroneofyourwitnessesistestifying.Yourlawyerwillsay,“I’dliketohaveadocumentmarkedforidentification.”Thentheyhandcopiestotheattorneyforyourspouseandtheattorneyforthechild,ifthechildhasanattorney.Theoriginalishandedtothecourtclerk,andacopyiskept.Theclerkwillmarktheoriginal“ExhibitX,”whateverisnextinorder.Afteradocumentismarkedforidentification,youhavetestimonyaboutit.Yourlawyerwillaskyourwitness,“CanyoutellmewhatExhibitXis?”andhavethemdescribewhatitis,whereitcomesfromandwhatitsays.Thenyourlawyerwillsay,“I’dliketomoveExhibitXintoevidence.”Iftheotherpartyobjects,bothsidestellthejudgetheirpositionsandthejudgedecides.Somejudgesarelaxandwillsimplylistenandnotstatearuling.

Whenyouaredone.Attheendofyourcase,yourlawyerwilllikelysay,“I’dliketohaveadmittedintoevidenceanyofmyexhibitsthathavenotyetbeenadmitted.”Generally,thiswillcausethejudgetocheckwiththeclerkastowhethereverythingisinevidence(thejudgeisn’tsupposedtolookatitifitisnotinevidence).Anyobjectionstheothersidehastoyourevidencewillbediscussedandthejudgewilldecidewhatgoesintoevidenceandwhatdoesnot.Ifthejudgefailstoruleonanypieceofevidence,yourlawyermustaskwhetheritisinevidenceornotsoyouendupwithaclearrecord.

Closingstatements.Whenbothsideshavefinishedtheircases,yourlawyermayaskifthejudgewillpermitaclosingargument.Thejudgewillprobablyhavemostofthepointsinmindsowillwantonlybriefargument,ifany,particularlyiftheyareexperiencedinfamilylaw.Ontheotherhand,ifyouhadevidencewhoserelevanceisnoteasilyapparent,yourlawyermightwanttocommentonwhatitshows.

Restatementofexistingorders.IfyouhaveexistingordersfromanOSCormotion,theywillbelostwhentheJudgmentisentered.Ifyouwantanyofthemtocontinue,yourlawyermustaskthejudgetodosoattheendofyourcase.


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How to be a good witness

Ensurethetruthisclearlytold.Whenyoutestifyincourt,ofcourseyouwilltellthetruthinsim-ple,clearterms.Don’tmemorizeyourtestimonyoritwillseemartificialbutdothinkcarefullyaheadoftimeaboutwhatyouaregoingtosaysoyoudon’tstumbleandseemvagueoruncertain.Donotramblearoundbutstickverycloselytotheexactquestionaskedorthepointbeingmade.

Itisdifficultforanyonetohandlehighlyemotionalissuesandremaincalm.Intestifyingyouneedtoavoidbecomingangry,excited,frightened,orintimidated.Youneedtostaycalm.Getplentyofsleepthenightbeforecourtandbesuretoeatbreakfastandlunchoncourtdays.Evenifyoudon’tfeellikeeating,justregardthefoodasmedicineandtakeit.Youwon’trunwellonempty.Tellyourselfoverandoverhowcalmyouaregoingtobe.Ifyouareincourtandyoufindyourselfrespondingemotional-ly,youneedtotakeadeepbreath.Sometimesyourmindcanstartracing,spewingoutideas,questions,fears,allatonce.That’sagoodtimetotakeadeepbreathandtellyourselftobecalm.Justfocusonwhatisgoingon.Attimeslikethis,you’llbegladifyouhaveagoodsupportpersonatthetablewithyou.

Howtoanswerquestions.Answerquestionsverydirectlyandverysimply.Answeronlythequestionaskedanddonotexpand.Thebestanswerstartswitha“yes”ora“no”(ifthequestioncanbeanswered“yes”or“no”),andthenhasonetothreesentencesofexplanation.Forexample,“Yes,wehavethreechildren.”“Yes,weputadownpaymentonthehome.Myparentsloaned$20,000justtomeandthatentireamountwasusedforthedownpayment.”

Listentothequestion.Listencarefullytothequestionthatisaskedandansweronlywhatisasked.Thisisparticularlytruewhenitisthejudgewhoasksthequestion.Don’tramble.Youcanex-plainyouranswerbutansweronlythespecificquestionasked.

Donotworryaboutlookingstupid.Donotworryaboutwhetheryoulookstupid,orgoodorbad.Justtellthetruth;alwaystellthetruth.Donottrytoanswerwhenyouarenotsure;justsay,“I’mnotsure.”Forexample,ifanattorneysaystoyouinanindignantandshockedmanner,“Didn’tyoureadthatbeforeyousignedit?”Ifyoudidnotreaditbeforesigningit,justsay“no.”Donotlettheattorney’smannerbullyyouintoanincorrectanswer.Donotletyourfearoflookingstupidpushyouintomakingupanswers.

Noguesses.Donotguess.Ifyouranswerisanestimateoronlyanapproximation,sayso.Itisokaytosayyouaremakinganestimate,butyoushouldnotjustguessatananswer.

Itisokaynottoremember.Ifyoudonotremembersomething,say,“Idon’tremember.”Thisisveryimportant.Ifyouareaskedaboutdoingsomethingandyoudonotspecificallyrememberwhatyoudid,sayso.Youcanoffertotestifyastoyourusualpracticesandtellthecourtthisiswhatyouaredoing:“Idon’trememberwhatIdidonFebruary27,butusuallyIgostraighthomefromwork,arrivingabout6p.m.”

Itisokaytotalktopeopleaboutyourcase.Ifyouareaskedwhoyoudiscussedyourcasewith,behonestandtellthecourtwhoyoutalkedto.Ontheotherhand,discussionswithanattorneyareprivi-legedandconfidential,sowhileyoucansayyoutalkedtoanattorney,youshouldneverrevealwhatwassaidbyyouorbytheattorney.

Stateonlywhatyoupersonallysaworheard.Incourt ifyouareaskedifyou“know”something, thisusuallymeansyouarebeingaskedwhetheryoupersonallysaworheardsomething.Ifyouransweris

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basedsolelyonwhatsomeonetoldyou,sayso.Ineverydaylifepeoplefeelthey“know”thingsthatothershavetoldthem,butincourtthisisnotacceptable. Becarefulofquestionswith“all”or“none.”Incourt,ifaquestionhastheword“all”or“none,”youneedtounderstandthatthisdoesnotmean“almostall”or“hardlyany.”“All”meansabsolutelyeverysingleonewithnoexceptions,and“none”meansnotevenone.Beverycarefulaboutsuchquestions.Whenasked“Isthatall?”youmaywanttosay“ThatisallthatIcanthinkofrightnow.”Donotsay“That’sallhesaid,”or“Nothingelseoccurred.”Youmightremembermorelater.

Donotguessaboutlawyer’smotives.Donottrytoguesswhyyouarebeingaskedeachquestion.Justfocusongivingtruthfulanswers.Thisisthebestwaytorespondtotrickyquestions—withtruth.

Miscellaneousguidelines•Donotputyourhandoveryourmouthwhileyoutestify.•Donotchewgum.•Donotallowyourselftogetangrywhileonthestand,nomatterhowinsultingthequestionsmaybe.Somelawyerspurposelymakewitnessesangrybecausethentheycannotthinkaswellandarelikelytomakemistakes.Thisisonegoodreasonforhavingasupportpersonwithyouatthetrial—afriendlyfacetolookatandgiveyouconfidenceortogiveyoualookthatsays,“Coolit.”•Donotmemorizeyourtestimony.Youshouldhaveachecklistwithyousoyoupresentyourtestimonyinanorderlyfashionanddon’tleaveanythingout.•Addressallyourremarkstothejudge,nottoyourspouseorspouse’sattorney.•Neverdiscussthecaseinanywayincourthousehallways,restroomsorelevators.Thatniceladynearyoumaybeyourspouse’slawyer’ssecretaryorinvestigator.•Beverycarefulnottoallowyouropponenttopeekatyourpapers.Beawareofthiswhenyoustandinanelevator,talktoyouropponentwhileholdingafile,sitintheaudiencewaitingforyourcasetobecalled,sitatthetableinthecourtroom,wherever.Ifyouhavenotesorpapers,unlessyouarereviewingthemorpresentingyourcasetothecourt,turnthepapersoversotheycan’tbeseen.Don’tleavethemfacinguponthecounseltableoranywhereelsethatisnotprivate.

How todress forcourt.Make sureyourclothing isneat, clean, anddoesnotmakemuchofafashionstatement.Dressasyouwouldforanimportantbusinessappointmentorforchurch,unlessyouarebeingaskedtopaysupport,inwhichcaseyouwillwanttodressdownalittle.

Don’tbickerattrial.Neverarguewithyourspouseinfrontofthejudge.Arguingwillonlymakebothofyoulookbad.Addressallofyourcommentstothejudge,nottoyourspouse,unlessitisyourturntoquestionyourspouseonthestand.

Pretrial orders lost if not restated

Anyordersmadebythecourtbeforetrial—whetherastheresultofanOSC,motion,oragreement(stipulation)—will expirewhen your Judgment is entered (with the possible exception of a domesticviolenceorder).Ifyouwantanyofthoseorderstocontinue,yourlawyermustrequestthattheybemadeapartof theJudgment.Forexample, if therewaspreviouslyanorder thatyourspousepayforhealthinsuranceforyouandthechildren,ifyoudonotrestatethatorderintheJudgment,itislost.Ifapartyfailedtomakepaymentsunderatemporaryorderandaccruedanarrearage,thearrearagewouldstillbedue,butitisbesttospecifytheamountofarrearagesintheJudgment.

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E At trial’s end

Thejudgemightverballyannouncethedecisionattheendofthetrial,orthejudgecan“takethematterundersubmission.”Whenthejudgetakesthematterundersubmission,thismeansthejudgeisgoingtothinkaboutthedecisionforawhileandmaybedosomelegalresearchontheissues,thenhe/shewillissueawrittendecisionlater.Thejudgeisrequiredtodecidethecasewithin90daysaftertheendofthetrial.

Makesuretheverbaldecisioniscomplete.Ifthejudgestatesthedecisionimmediatelyincourt,althoughyourlawyerwilldothis,havepenandpaperinhandandalsowritedownindetaileverythingthatissaid.Useachecklisttobesurethejudgehascoveredeverysinglethingthatisimportanttoyou.Ifsomethingwasnotclearlydecided,letyourlawyerknowimmediately.Oncethejudgestepsdownorcallsthenextmatter,you’velostyourchanceso,ifnecessary,askyourlawyertogiveyouaminutetolookatyournotesanddon’tbeafraidtoaskforclarificationorarepeatofsomepoint.

Restatementofexistingorders.Ifyourlawyeraskedthejudgetocontinueanyexistingorders,makesuretheyareincludedintheverbaldecision.Ifnot,youthejudgemustberemindedtocoverthem.

DVrestrainingorders.IfyouobtaineddomesticviolencerestrainingordersbeforetheJudgment,examinetheDV-130orderformatitem4toseewhentheyexpire.Ifyouneedtohavethemextended,youcanasktohavesimilarordersincludedinyourJudgment.

Takeyourthings.Don’tgetflusteredandforgettotakeyourpapersandthingswithyouwhenyouleavethecourtroom.


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CHAPTER 26GETTING YOUR JUDGMENT

Thisistheendofthelongroadyouhavetraveled.YourJudgmentwillresolveallproperty,supportandchild-relatedissuesand,ifnecessary,includeprotectiveorderstokeepthepeace.Unlessthereisatimelyappeal(orsomeoneliedontheirdisclosureforms),theordersarefinal.However,ordersoncustody,visitationandsupportcanbemodifiedlaterifcircumstanceschangeinalegallysignificantway.

HowtogetyourJudgment

JUDGMENT

PRE-TRIAL MOTION



DISCOVERY

CUSTODY MEDIATION


TRIALTHE

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How to get your Judgment

WhopreparestheJudgment?Ifthejudgedoesn’tdoit,andmostdon’t,oneofthepartiesmust.Insomecounties,localrulesresolvewhodoesit,soaskyourlawyer.Mysuggestionisthatifpossible,youwantyourlawyertopreparetheJudgment,anddoitassoonaftertrialaspossible.Detailsmatterandyouwanttomakesurethelanguageofthejudgmentreflectseverydetailthatisimportanttoyou.

Writtendecisions.Attheendofyourtrial,thejudgewilleitherannounceadecisionverballyfromthebenchorsendawrittendecisionlater.Ifthejudgedoesnotalsosendasignedorder,youneedtomakeonebasedexactlyonthejudge’sdecision.OnlyordersgointoaJudgment,notthejudge’sfindingsorreasoning.Forexample,ontheissueofspousalsupportajudgecoulddiscusstheparties’ages,health,education, job histories, incomes and expenses, length of themarriage, etc.None of that goes in theJudgment.WhatgoesintheJudgmentiswhatthepartiesgetormustdo,suchas,“Asandforspousalsupport,XshallpaytoY$ permonthonthefirstdayofeachmonth,beginningon(date)andcontinuinguntildeathofeitherparty,remarriageofthepayeeorfurtherorderofthecourt,”andsoon.

Verbaldecisions. If the judgeannounces thedecisionverbally, shouldordera transcriptof thedecision.Yourlawyermaywanta“partialtranscript”thatincludesthejudge’sorders,ortheymaywanttheentire trial.Yourcompleted judgmentwill thenbe taken to thecourt for the judge’ssignatureandcourt’sstamp.

Approval by your spouse Somecountiesrequireyoutogetyourspouse(orspouse’sattorneyofrecord)tosignoffontheJudgment,statingthatitcorrectlyreflectsthejudge’sorders.SigningtheJudgmentisnotanindicationthattheothersideagreeswiththedecision,justasyoudon’tnecessarilyagreewitheverything,eventhoughyoupreparedtheJudgment—itjustmeanstheJudgmentcorrectlystateswhatthejudgeordered.Thisisoneofthemainreasonstohaveatranscriptsincemanytimes,therewillbeadisagreementastowhatthejudgeactuallyordered.


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CHAPTER 27AFTER THE JUDGMENT

NowthatyouhaveyourJudgment,yourcasemightbecompletelyfinished.However,thereisstillimportantongoingbusiness—suchaskeepingyouraddresscurrentincourtrecords—andthepossibilityofvariouspost-judgmentactivitiesthatmightcomeup;forexample,ifonepartyortheotherwantstomodifypartoftheJudgment,oriftheJudgmentneedstobeenforced.

Some things that come up after Judgment are easy and you can handle themwith no furtherdiscussion;otherthingswillrequiresomeassistance.Hereisadiscussionofmanyofthethingsthatcancomeupandwhatyoucandoaboutthem.

A.YoumustkeepyourcontactinformationcurrentB.Keeptrackofpayor’sorrecipient’sincomeC.AlwaysmakechangesofficialD.ModifyordersifcircumstanceschangeE.EnforceyourjudgmentF.RestoringyourformernameG.Movingawaywiththekids

JUDGMENT

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You must keep your contact information current

Whenyourdivorceisfinished,yourattorneyshouldbefilingaNoticeofWithdrawalofAttorneyformwiththecourt.Thiswillnotifythecourt,andallparties,thattheirrepresentationiscompleteandthatanyfuturenoticesshouldnotcometothemastheymaybeunabletocommunicatewithyouaboutthenotice. The formwillprovide the latest contact information foryou. Thereafter, itwillbeyourresponsibility tokeep thecontact informationcurrentbecause thecontact informationonfilewith thecourtiswhatmustbeusedtoservenoticeonyou.So,forexample,aslongasachildinyourordersisaminor,orspousalsupportisbeingpaid,yourJudgmentcanbemodified.Ifyoumoveanddonotcorrectlychangeyourcontactinformationinthecourtfile,documentswillbeservedbymailatyouroldaddressornoticegivenbyphoneandyoumightloseamotionwithouteverknowingaboutit,oryoumightfindouttoolate—andthereisnothingyoucandobecauseitisyourresponsibilitytokeepyourcontactinformationcurrent.Sowheneveryoumoveorchangeanycontactinformationthatappearsonthemostrecentcourtdocument,useMC-040NoticeofChangeofContactInformationtokeepthecourtandyourex-spouseupdated.Fillitout,makethreecopies,haveafriendserveacopyonyourExbymail,completetheProofofServiceontheback,thenfiletheoriginalwiththeclerkofthecourt.

IfyoumovefrequentlyorneedtohidefromyourEx,considerusingapermanentaddressforcourtbusiness.Youcouldrentapostofficebox,butthenyoumustcheckitalmostdaily.Youcouldalsousetheaddressofafriendorrelative,butthistoomustbe100%reliable.Someonetherewouldhavetocontactyouinstantlyiflegalpapersarrive.YoucanloseimportantrightsifyoufailtokeepthecourtandyourExinformedofhowtocontactyou. Keep track of payor’s or recipient’s income

Ifyouhaveanorder forchildsupport,oranorder for spousal support thathasnoteffectivelylimitedthecourt’spowertomodifyeithertheamountorduration,thenachangeineitherparty’sincomecouldbethebasisformodificationofthesupportorder.EitherpartyhastherighttoserveontheotherademandforacompletedIncomeandExpenseDeclarationtogetherwithcopiesofthelastfederalincometaxreturn.Ifyoucheckandfindoutthattherehasbeenasignificantincreaseinthepayor’sorrecipient’sincome,youmightdecidetogobacktocourttorequestamodificationofthesupportorder.

Nomatterhowsweetlyyoupresentit,ademandforincomeandexpenseinformationisnotgoingtomaketherecipientfeelwarmandfuzzy.Ifthingsaregoingsmoothlyandyouaregettingpaidregularly,youmightnotwanttodisturbthestatus-quo,evenifitmightgainyouafewdollars.Ontheotherhand,ifyouarefairlysureyourex-spousehasexperiencedasignificantincreaseinincomeandyouhavenothingmuchtoloseinthewayofgoodrelations,youmightaswelldoit.

UseformFL-396,RequestforProductionofanIncomeandExpenseDeclarationAfterJudgment.Atthatpoint,youcaneithercontactyourlawyertotheformforyou,oryoucanfillitoutasshowninFigure27.1.

Always make changes official

Peopleoftenworkoutdifferentarrangementsbutdon’tmakethesmalleffortittakestochangetheircourtorder.Theymightdrift intonewanddifferentvisitationschedulesoradjust theamountofmoneypaidforsupport.Everythingiscalmandcoolwiththeparties,buttheoldcourtorderjustkeepsrunningalongunchanged.Let’s say thepayor’s incomegoesdown,so the recipient feelscomfortabletakingalittleless.Meanwhile,theoriginalorderkeepsrunningandtheunpaidamountaccumulates.Iftheorderisnotmodified,therewillbenodefensetoafutureactiontocollectunpaidsupport.Or,ifDadis

A

B

C

orderedtohavevisitationeveryotherweekend,butincreaseslatertothreedaysaweek,theordershouldbemodifiedwhileeveryoneishappy,becauseifaproblemcomesup,Momcaninsistatanytimeonareturntotheschedulethatwasordered.Itisfairlyeasytochangeordersbyagreementoftheparties—youjusthavetoprepare,signandfileastipulatedorder.

Modify orders if circumstances change

Ordersregardingchildren—support,custody,visitation—canbechangedifcircumstanceschangeinalegallysignificantway.Spousalsupportorders,too,aresubjecttochangeifcircumstanceschange,unlesstheordereffectivelyrestrictedthepowerofthecourttomodifyspousalsupportinthefuture.

Ifyouwanttomodifyordersforsupport,custodyorvisitationorsomeotherpartoftheJudgment,you’llneedtofileamotionfollowingthegeneralformsandinstructionspresentedinchapter12ofthisbook. Enforce your judgment

Insomecases,enforcementwillbe themost importantaspectofyourdivorce.Youhavegonethroughall theworkofgettingyourJudgment,sonow,ifyourex-spousedoesnotcomplywitheveryorder,youneedtoenforceit.Inmostcases,ifyoumakeanefforttoenforceyourorder,youcanprobablygetcompliance.Themainthingistonotbepassiveorletyourselfgetworndown,butbefirmandinsistthatyourspouseobeytheJudgmentfromthemomentitisentered.

Belowaresome typicalmethods forenforcinga judgment thatareavailable toyou.Manyarefocusedonsupportorders—themostcommonenforcementproblem—butanykindofcourtordercanbeenforcedwithsomeofthesemethods.Somearepossibleforyoutodowithoutfurtherinstruction,butforothers,youwillneedhelp.

1.CountyAgencies.Thegovernmentisinterestedinenforcingsupportorders.EachcountyhasaFamilyCourtFacilitatorandaDepartmentofChildSupportServices.Theyaremorefocusedonchildsupport,butwillprobablyhelpyouifyouhavespousalsupportthatispartofthesameorderwithchildsupport;goseethemandask.Theservicesarefreeandtheycandocertainthingsaprivateattorneycan’t,suchasrevokelicenses,intercepttaxes,getcopiesofincometaxreturns,seizeyourex’sincometaxrefund,andsoon.

2.AbstractofSupportJudgment.Thisisaone-pagestatementyoucanrecordwhereyourex-spouseownsrealproperty.Thenifyourex-spousetriestosellorrefinancetheproperty,theywillfirsthavetomakesurethatallsupportpaymentsarebroughtcurrent.

3.MotiontoSetArrearsandEnforceSupport.Ifyourex-spousepayssupportonanirregularbasis,andyouwouldliketoobtainawritofexecutionorotherenforcement,youcanuseamotiontosetarrears,andyoucanalsoaskforotherreliefsuchasanorderthatyourex-spousekeepyouinformedofthenameandaddressofhis/heremployerandinformyouinwritingofanyjobchanges(hiringorfiring)withinfivedaysofeachsuchchange.

4.Writofexecution.AwritofexecutionisacourtorderthattheSheriffseizeanasset,forexample,abankaccount,andturnitovertoyou.Ifyourex-spouseowesyouasetamountofmoneywhichisspecifiedinthejudgmentororder,orifyouhaveobtainedanorderestablishingthearrearage,youcanobtainawritofexecutionandtakehis/herwagesorbankaccount.

5.OSCreContempt.Thisisaverydramaticwaytogetsomeone’sattention.AnOrdertoShowCause(OSC)reContemptdirectsapartytocometocourtandexplainwhytheyshouldnotbeheldincontempt

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ofcourt.Ifapersonisfoundguiltyofcontempt,he/shecanbesenttojailforfivedaysforeachcountofcontempt,althoughusuallyalightersentenceisimposed,atleastthefirsttime.AnOSCrecontemptisusedwhenapersonhasengagedindeliberatedisobedienceofacourtorder.Forcontempt,youuseaspecialform,OrdertoShowCauseandAffidavitforContempt. 6.PoliceandDistrictAttorneymayhelp.InCalifornia,itisafelonyforaparenttohidethechildfromtheotherparentwiththeintentofpreventingcourt-orderedcontactwiththeparent.Infact,evenintheabsenceofanorder,itisusuallyillegalforoneparenttohidethechildfromtheother.Ifthishappenstoyou,contactthepolice.

7. Orders to ensure health insurance benefits. Sometimes your ex-spouse provides health insurancecoverageforthechildren,butwhenyoutakeachildtothedoctor,youmustpayfirst,thentheinsurersendsareimbursementchecktoyourex-spouse.Byuseofaqualifiedmedicalchildsupportorderyoucanavoidthisproblem.

Restoring your former name after divorce

Thelawisgenderneutral,sotechnicallyspeaking,eitherthehusbandorwifecanrestoreaformernameatthetimeofadivorce,butitisquiterareforthehusbandtodothis.If,inyourcase,thehusbandhadaformernameandwantsitrestored,simplyreversegenderintherestofthisdiscussion.

RestorationofformernameistypicallydoneatthetimeofJudgment,butitispossibletodoitaftertheJudgment,too.Ifthewifedidnotrequestherformername(whichcanbeeitheramaidennameoraformermarriedname)atthetimeofthedivorce,shecanrequestitlater.Thereisnotimelimitfordoingthis.Requestingrestorationofaformernameisaverysimpleprocessinwhichshefillsoutasimpleform(FL-395),getsthejudgetosignit,andfilesitwiththecourtclerk.

Ahusbandcannotrequestrestorationofthewife’sformername;onlyshecanmakethisrequest.The ex-wifewhowants a former name restored does not have to give her ex-husband notice of thisrequest,ashehasnorighttoobject.Ontheotherhand,ifhepayssupport,afterhernameischanged,heneedstoknowthenamesheusessohecanmakeoutthecheckcorrectly.

Beforegoingtocourttochangeyourname,besureyoureallywanttodothis.Changingyournamewiththecourtistheeasypart.Changingallyourotherdocumentssuchasdriver’slicense,SocialSecuritycard,passport,etc.isthedifficultpart.Beforeyoudothelegalpaperwork,besureyouarewillingtogothroughthebureaucratichassletomakeallthesechanges.Donotchangeyournamejustbecauseyouareangry.Womensometimesaskfortheirmaidennametoberestoredbecausetheyareangrywiththeirex,buttheydonotwanttojumpthroughallthehoopstochangetheirdocuments.Infact,theysometimeskeeprightonusingtheirmarriedname.Ifyouarenotreallygoingtoresumeusingyourformernameandyouarenotgoingtochangeyourdocuments,donothaveyournamechanged.

Moving away with the kids Weleftthemostdifficultissueforlast.Sometimes,onepartywantstomoveawaywiththechildrentoadifferentcityorstateorcountry.Thiscanbeahugestressontheexistingparentingrelationshipandisacommoncauseofpost-Judgmentlitigation.Itisaveryknottyproblemthattakesalotofdiscussion.Ifthiscomesupforyou,youshouldgetsomeadvicefromyourattorney.Youwanttolearnhowthelawappliestoyoursituation,andyouarelookingforalternatives,options,andpracticalsolutions—waystonegotiateandsettlethisdifficultissue.Itisfar,farbetterforeveryoneifyouworkhardtosettlethisissuewithouthavingtofightitoutincourt.

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Figure 27.1REQUEST FOR PRODUCTION OF INCOME AND EXPENSE DECLARATION

AFTER JUDGMENT Form FL-396

TELEPHONE NO.: FOR COURT USE ONLYATTORNEY OR PARTY WITHOUT ATTORNEY (Name and Address):


PETITIONER/PLAINTIFF:

RESPONDENT/DEFENDANT:

CASE NUMBER:

REQUEST FOR PRODUCTION OF AN INCOMEAND EXPENSE DECLARATION AFTER JUDGMENT

(NOTE: This request must be served on the petitioner or respondent and not on an attorney who was or is representing that party.)

To (name):

1. a. As permitted by Family Code section 3664(a), declarant requires that you complete and return the attached Income and Expense Declaration (form FL-150) within 30 days after the date this request is served on you. Family Code section 3665(a) requires you to attach copies of your most recent state and federal income tax returns (whether individual or joint) to the completed Income and Expense Declaration (form FL-150).

b. The completed Income and Expense Declaration (form FL-150) should be mailed to the following person at the following

You may consult an attorney about completion of the Income and Expense Declaration (form FL-150) or you may proceed without an attorney. The information provided will be used to determine whether to ask for a modification of child, spousal, or family support at this time.

If you wish to do so, you may serve a request for a completed Income and Expense Declaration (form FL-150) on me. Each of us may use this procedure once a year after judgment even though no legal matter is pending.

Date:

WARNING: If a court later finds that the information provided in response to this request is incomplete or inaccurate or missing the prior year's tax returns, or that you did not submit the information in good faith, the court may order you to pay all costs necessary for me to get complete and accurate information. In addition you could be found to be in contempt and receive other penalties.

REQUEST FOR PRODUCTION OF AN INCOMEAND EXPENSE DECLARATION AFTER JUDGMENT

Form Adopted for Mandatory UseJudicial Council of California

FL-396 [Rev. January 1, 2003]

Family Code, §§ 3664,3665, 3668

(SIGNATURE OF DECLARANT)(TYPE OR PRINT NAME)

SUPERIOR COURT OF CALIFORNIA, COUNTY OF

CITY AND ZIP CODE:

BRANCH NAME:

STREET ADDRESS:

MAILING ADDRESS:

2.

3.

FL-396

address (specify):

Page 1 of 2




LEGAL REFERENCE / SELF-HELP

Thisbookhasbeenwrittenasaguidetoanyonegoingthroughoneoflife’smostdifficultchallenges–divorce.Itisdesignedandwrittentodoseveralthings:

•ProvidearoadmapofacontesteddivorceinCalifornia•Helpyouselectanattorneytohelpwithyourdivorce•Actively,knowinglyandintelligentlyparticipateinyourdivorceinpartnershipwithyourattorney•Stayincontrolofyourdivorce•Getthebestoutcomeofyourdivorcepossible•Moveforwardwithyourpost-divorcelifeneverlookingbackwonderingifeverypossibleoptionwastakenbyyouandyourlawyer

Althoughthisbookiswrittenwithalotofdetail,itisNOTwrittenasado-it-yourselfguide–itisNOTasasubstituteforanexperiencedfamilylawattorney.However,theinformationinthisbookshouldbeusedasareferenceandshouldprovideyouwithwhatyouneedinordertomakeintelligentchoicesasyougothroughanoverwhelmingprocess.Asaresult,youwillhaveamuchbetterchanceforgettingthroughthisphaseofyourlifeinonepiece.

HAMID NARAGHI, Esq.*WILLIAM E. WOODCOCK, Esq.*Certified Specialist, Family Law State Bar of California Board of Legal Specialization

Two expert California attorneys show you how to solve divorce problems, find the best path, and take the smartest steps in managing your divorce.Here are things you can do to protect yourself, your child and your assets, even when you have an attorney. Here are the things you need to know to find a good attorney, on how to manage your attorney, and how to know if your attorney is doing a good job. Through their state wide litigation firm as well as their state wide mediation and divorce coaching firm, Hamid Naraghi and Bill Woodcock have helped over a thousand people get better divorces over the past 20 + years. Hamid and Bill bring you decades of experience as litigators, mediators, divorce coaches, private judges and arbitrators.