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The Librarian’s Guide to

Homelessness Fewer problems. Greater confidence.

(And a more inclusive library!)

Using

Empathy-Driven EnforcementTM

Ryan J. Dowd, Atty., MPA www.homelesslibrary.com

The Librarian’s Guide to Homelessness Fewer Problems. Greater confidence. (And a more inclusive library!)

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www.homelesslibrary.com © Ryan Dowd, Attorney-at-Law 2017 - All rights reserved.

Introduction This training is for you if:

You want fewer __________________ in your library.

You want more __________________ with homeless, addicted, mentally ill patrons and other challenging patrons.

You want a _____________ library

You want to be an _______________ library that welcomes the entire community, even

the most vulnerable.


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Deeper Understanding of Homelessness Types of Homelessness Ways that homeless individuals are generally NOT like you

1) Homeless individuals grew up poor.

2) Homeless individuals speak differently than you.

Formal register = Casual register =

3) Homeless individuals have a smaller vocabulary than you and pay more attention to nonverbal cues than you.


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4) Homeless individuals argue differently than you.

Volume

5) Homeless individuals view respect differently than you.

6) Homeless individuals look at time differently than you.

Shortened time horizon =

7) Homeless individuals have experienced more trauma than you.

8) Homeless individuals are “habituated to punishment.”

9) Homeless individuals value fairness more than you.

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Calm Mildly Annoyed Angry Furious

Middle Class

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Calm Mildly Annoyed Angry Furious

Poverty


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Empathy-Driven EnforcementTM Why do people follow the rules? What is punishment? What form of punishment do we need to be especially aware of? The problem with punishment What is the alternative? The alternative is not ______________________. Not enforcing the rules ≠___________________. Not enforcing the rules = ___________________. The alternative is all about ______ you enforce the rules. Empathy-Driven Enforcement Based on:

1) Deeper understanding of __________________________________.

2) Principles of _______________ and __________________.


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Principles of Psychology and Empathy

1) Emotional contagion

Mirror neurons =

2) Psychology of conflict

3) Psychology of relationship 5:1 ratio =

4 building blocks of relationship =

1) 2) 3) 4)


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4) Reciprocity

5) Psychological inertia

6) Neurochemical chemistry of aggression and empathy

Chemicals What they do How you get them

Serotonin, Dopamine, Oxytocin

Cortisol

7) Legitimacy Three requirements for authority figure to be viewed as legitimate: 1) 2) 3) Problem with rigid consistency = What is not required for legitimacy: 1) 2) 3)


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Three additional concepts

1) Prepare for problems

2) Solve problems as early as possible

Pre-Conflict = Non-Verbal Engagement = Verbal Engagement = Escalation = Crisis =

3) You have a lot of tools (use empathy-driven tools first)


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Stage 1: Pre-Conflict Stage Tool: Cup of Pennies Tool: Use names Use ____________________’s name and _____________________ name Ask patrons to call you by your ___________________ name Tool: Small talk

Tool: Be Walmart

Tool: Shaking hands 5 tips: 1) 2) 3) 4) 5)


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Stage 2: Attitudinal Escalation Tool: Know your goal

The only legitimate goal = Tool: Lead, don’t follow

Whoever controls the _____________________ controls ________________________. ______________________________ is the most effective way of controlling behavior. Tool: Don’t judge

2 tools for stopping judgement: 1) 2) Tool: Be calm Tool: Be respectful Tool: Slow down


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Stage 3: Non-Verbal Escalation Tool: Body “language” Tool: Take it somewhere “less public” Tool: How to stand

Don’t: 1) 2) Instead:

Tool: What to do with your hands Tool: Eye contact Tool: Smile Tool: Don’t touch


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Stage 4: Verbal Escalation Tool: Talk quieter Tool: Be calmer Tool: Listen Reflective listening = Tool: Be sad Everyday sadist = Tool: Explain, don’t debate or dictate Tool: Blame the rules


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Stage 5: Crisis Tool: When to call the police 2 conditions when you should call the police: 1) 2) Tool: Have a code name for the police Tool: How to do backup Do not do this: How to do it correctly: Primary person’s role: Backup person’s role: 1) 2) 3) Backup person should be ________ feet to the side, visible by _______________. In high-stakes conflict, who should be primary person? In low-stakes conflict, who should be primary person?


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Tool: Breaking up a fight “Peacocking fights” are: 1) 2) How you should handle: “Real fights” are: 1) 2) How you should handle: Tool: How to ask someone to leave Five tips for kicking someone out with empathy (and effectiveness): 1) 2) 3) 4) 5)


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Your Personal Phrases It is helpful to have specific phrases you use whenever a situation arises. If you use the same phrase every time, you won’t mess up when you are tired or stressed.

1) You want to ask someone to speak more quietly.

o “Would you mind turning down the volume a notch or two?” (while turning an imaginary dial in the air).

o “Would you mind speaking more quietly? My ears are very sensitive.”

o Your own: ________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________

2) You want to ask someone’s name.

o “Hi. I’m Ryan. I didn’t catch your name.”

o “Hi. My name is Ryan. What is yours?” o Your own: ________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________

3) You want to use someone’s name without freaking them out.

o “Good afternoon. It’s ‘Bob,’ right?”

o “Good morning. Wait. Don’t tell me. You are ‘Susan,’ right?” o Your own: ________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________


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4) You want to tell someone they are breaking a rule without making them defensive.

o “You probably didn’t realize we have a rule about this, but…”

o “I’m sure you didn’t know, but…” o Your own: ________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________

5) You want to “blame the rules.”

o “I would let you do that, but the boss would probably fire me.”

o “I would let you do that, but the board of directors is really picky about that rule.” o “I would let you do that, but the bosses are really cracking down on that one.”

o Your own: ________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________

6) You want to do “reflective listening.”

o “I think what I heard you say, was…”

o “If I’m understanding you correctly…” o “Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but I think you feel that…”

o “Let me be sure that I understand you….”

o Your own: ________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________


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7) Someone is in your personal space while talking.

o “I’m going to take a step back. I forgot deodorant today.”

o “Do you mind if we talk from a little further back? I had a lot of garlic for lunch.” o Your own: ________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________

8) You want to use the skill of “being sad” to show that you do not enjoy using your authority on homeless individuals. o “I don’t like enforcing the rules, but I have to.”

o “If you don’t stop that I’ll have to ask you to leave and I don’t want to do that

because you are a fellow Stephen King fan.” o Your own: ________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________

9) Someone asks you why you don’t allow sleeping in the library.

o “We have had people with medical conditions, so we ask everyone to stay away so we know they are ok.”

o “We have had people snore really bad, which disturbs other patrons, so we ask everyone to stay awake.”

o Your own: ________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________


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10) Someone asks you why you don’t allow multiple large bags in the library.

o “We have limited space, so the board passed a rule to make sure that everyone has space.”

o “The lawyers are really worried about people are tripping over bags. We always listen to the lawyers.”

o Your own: ________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________

11) Someone is panhandling in the library.

o “Sir, you can’t do that.”

o Your own: ________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________

12) Someone brought in a pet and you want to verify if it is a service animal.

o “Is your dog required because of a disability?”

o “What work or task has the dog been trained to do?” o THERE ARE NO OTHER LEGAL QUESTIONS!!!

13) A non-homeless patron is complaining.

o “We take the needs of all of our patrons seriously, regardless of their socio-economic status.”

o “Thank you for your concern. We have the situation under control” o “Thank you for your concern, we are keeping an eye on the situation.”

o Your own: ________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________


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14) A non-homeless patron is being nosy.

o “It would really not be appropriate for me to talk about other patrons.”

o Your own: ________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________

15) Other: __________________________________________________

o Your own: ________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________

16) Other: __________________________________________________

o Your own: ________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________

17) Other: __________________________________________________

o Your own: ________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________

Documents

7KH /LEUDULDQ·V *XLGH WR +RPHOHVVQHVV€¦ · 7kh /leuduldq·v *xlgh wr +rphohvvqhvv )hzhu 3ureohpv *uhdwhu frqilghqfh $qg d pruh lqfoxvlyh oleudu\ î Á Á Á x z } u o o ] Ç x

7KH /LEUDULDQ·V XLGH WR +RPHOHVVQHVV€¦ · 7kh /leuduldq·v xlgh wr +rphohvvqhvv )hzhu 3ureohpv *uhdwhu frqilghqfh $qg d pruh lqfoxvlyh oleudu\ î Á Á Á x z } u o o ] Ç x