40 really dumb things to do in Mumbai

1. 

Get into a Virar train if you are going to Borivali

2.  Buy 100 buck windcheaters from Churchgate, they are all the ones recycled by the

Bhandiwalis

3.  Eat Bhel at Kailash Parbat

4.  Call a cop µPandu¶5.  Argue with a Koli Fisherwoman

6.  Get a 11 rupee massage at Girgaum Chowpatty7.  Bet against India in a game, Australia is the safest option

8.  Buy enhancement medicines from Van ± Travelling Hakims who are the desi versionsof the flying doctors

9.  Call up 26407383 Beanbags thinking it¶s an escort service10. Avoid asking the Sandwich wallah on Dalal Street for market tips

11. Stand in front of Amitabh/Shah Rukh/Salmaan¶s house -- you look stupid and it's a

waste of time

12. Go to work when a Shiv Sena bandh is on

13. Visit sleazy video parlours and get caught in a raid

14. 

Get excited and start jumping when someone offers you Paanch ka Dollar, it¶s just a

tiny 5 rupee coin

15. 

Go for a Shiv Sena rally in hope for a Free Vada Pav and Shiv Sena Banian

16. Call a Maharastrian guy Bhaiya, no matter how respectful you meant it

17. 

While commuting, don¶t tease people defecating near the tracks, they throw stones

 back at the train

18. Hang outside the train, poles might hit you before the crowds will19. Tease a Hijra

20. Bribe a porter to grab a seat in V.T., chances are he might run off with your money21. Get conned at Fountain from guys selling cheap mobiles. They mesmerize and wrap

soap bars22. Pronounce Sandhurst correctly, Sandas Rd makes more sense

23. Donate money to the Crying Cab driver . He has conned thousands24. Invite Brass Polishwalas into your house

25. Assume that booksellers in Fountain are dumb, they know their Pulitzers and ManBooker winners more than us

26. Give 100 bucks to a conductor and expect him to give you change, he will sadistically

torment you till the last stop

27. Have lassi outside Dadar Station (west), they add Tissue Paper while preparing it

28. Throw stones at monkeys in Borivali National Park 

29. Loiter around in Shivaji Park on Dec 6th

30. Ask for a bargain at the Maharastrian Cloth store in Dadar 

31. Go for midnight mass at Mahim church thinking you can pick up girls

32. Buy fire crackers from Essabhai, Crawford Market and travel in train 33. Go to Mondegar and ask for a Jain Pav Bhaji

34. Look straight and walk, We have open manholes

35. Wear Brown Khakis shirts, People will mistake you for BMC staff 

36. Ask for Warranty & Guarantee from the Mallu Electronic stalls in Fountain area

37. Search for the Kala Ghoda in Kala Ghoda

38. Ask why statues in Mumbai have one finger pointed like umpires

39. A pply Rai ka Tel on your head and travel by public transport

40. Go to Haji Ali during high tides