379th Air Expeditionary Wing

379 ELRS/LGRT17 Oct 2005

Brought to you by: AFMentor

EFFECTIVE EPR WRITING

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Overview

Why Write a Quality EPR? Bullet Construction How Many Bullets? Level of Leadership Trim the “Fat” Markings on the EPR Quantification Common Mistakes EPR vs Award Winning Packages Summary

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DISCLAIMER

There are many ideas (some good, some bad) about how to write EPRs which may be contrary to information presented here. The ideas included here are suggested approaches that have proven effective in the past.

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WHY WRITE A QUALITY EPR?

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WHY WRITE A QUALITY EPR?

There are dozens of uses for an EPR other than E-8/9 promotion boards

• Decorations

• BTZ / STEP Promotions

• OTS, ROTC, Air Force Academy applications

• Air Force Educational Leave of Absence (AFELA) formerly known as Bootstrap Education

• Air Force Institution of Technology (AFIT) applications

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WHY WRITE A QUALITY EPR?

Weak bullets on an EPR make it difficult to write strong decoration, BTZ, STEP and other such packages

EPRs with weak bullets do not provide the support needed for these programs and awards

It is a disservice to your subordinates when you cut/ paste the same bullets to all 5 people you rate

The EPR is the only way to track someone's long term potential and consistency

The primary focus of an EPR is to show the whole person concept

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BULLET CONSTRUCTION

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BULLET CONSTRUCTION

Step 1: Every action must have a quantifiable/tangible result

• If you can’t assign a number, rate, quote, grade, or specific measured outcome to something, it may not be useful

• Enhancing morale is a non-quantifiable exception

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BULLET CONSTRUCTION

Step 2: Gather the facts• Make sure your information comes from a credible

source such as QA database, account custodian, inspection reports, etc.

• Use up to date information

• Results are always more credible if you can attach a specific number, rating, or quote

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BULLET CONSTRUCTION

Step 3: Write it down• Write all actions and results

• Keep a running log so as not to exclude anything

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BULLET CONSTRUCTION

Step 4: Trim the “fat”• Single, one line bullets

• Each main topic should be its own bullet

• Use acronyms

– If the acronym appears on the MAJCOM list, never spell it out

– Spell out on first use

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BULLET CONSTRUCTION

Step 4: Trim the “fat”• Use acronyms

– Do not spell out equipment designations (be sure to identify what it is, i.e. aircraft, weapons system, etc.

• Use symbols to save space ($, &, /, K, M)

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BULLET CONSTRUCTION

Step 4: Trim the “fat”• Say as much in as little space possible as long as

bullet remains effective

Example:- He is dedicated to the pursuit of academic excellence and the completion

of a degree

OR

- Dedicated to academic excellence/degree completion

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BULLET CONSTRUCTION

Step 5: Edit• Look for and replace words that are repeated in

the EPR - especially adjectives like 'outstanding'

• If it needs to be read more than once to be easily understood, reword it

• Delete the fluff/filler words/space and add results

• Limit common phrases to no more than twice in an EPR

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BULLET CONSTRUCTION

Step 6: Use correct bullet punctuation • Three periods (…) take more space than a (;), (/),

or (--)

• Semicolons (;) should come after the action if there is additional actions or details in the bullet before you get to the result

– They separate related thoughts that aren’t joined by a conjunction (and, but, or, etc)

– Semicolons break up multiple facts in a bullet that are loosely related

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BULLET CONSTRUCTION

Step 6: Use correct bullet punctuation

• The double dash (--) is used after the last 'action' and right before the result

Example:- Repaired 15 master cylinders; created new

renovation process--ensured 100% mission capability

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HOW MANY BULLETS?

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HOW MANY BULLETS?

Each bullet should be ONE line - when possible

Wrap around bullets can be used, but 99% can be boiled down to one line

Sub-bullets should only be used if there’s more information than can fit in a one line bullet

• The main bullet should have a distinctive accomplishment and result

Occasionally you may need the entire first bullet to spell out the accomplishment, but keep it to a minimum

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HOW MANY BULLETS?

-- Each sub-bullet should ATTEMPT to have a distinctive accomplishment of its own, but a clear result is absolutely MANDATORY

-- The result should be unrelated to the result in the previous bullet/sub-bullet

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HOW MANY BULLETS?

Example 1:

- Led emergency shipment of $90M in assets 2 days early--rapid shipping saved $3K in A/C costs

-- Shipment timeline smashed ACC estimate by 50%--received 4 FW/CC coin for A+ planning

-- Early shipment permitted preemptive strike on 300 enemy troops--effort lauded by COMEUCOM

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HOW MANY BULLETS?

Example 2 (Before):

- Superior knowledge of F-16 aircraft, ability to communicate and work well with others makes him a first-rate maintenance instructor; this is evident by the numerous positive comments denoted on the end of course critiques-- His quality instruction on the F-16 aircraft and attention

to detail resulted in all his students receiving 100 percent

pass rate on all end of course Wing Quality Assurance Evaluations—a maintenance training benchmark

-- A direct result of the extra time he spends with studentswho have a weakness in performance of critical tasks

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HOW MANY BULLETS?

Example 2 (After):

- Superior knowledge of F-16; first-rate maintenance instructor--consistently praised on end of course critiques

- Gifted instructor; 100% pass rate on Wing Quality Assurance Evaluations--a maintenance training benchmark

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HOW MANY BULLETS?

Community service/self-improvement bullets should be no more than one line long

While they are important, they should not monopolize an EPR.

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LEVEL OF LEADERSHIP

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LEVEL OF LEADERSHIP

Leadership focus at specific ranks - not all inclusive

• A1C and Below

– Leadership in different areas; special projects they took on and excelled (this sets them up for BTZ)

– 2-3 community service bullets/extra curricular activities they led (e.g. helped organize Christmas party)

– Highlight fast CDC completion or excellent EOC scores

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LEVEL OF LEADERSHIP

Leadership focus at specific ranks - not all inclusive

• SrA

– More focus on leadership than working

– Highlight programs they ran, people they taught, operations they crew chiefed

– Note higher level responsibility

– DG/John Levitow at ALS

– Participation in Honor Guard

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LEVEL OF LEADERSHIP

Leadership focus at specific ranks - not all inclusive

• SSgt

– Roughly 40% on leadership of others and projects

– Less on working, more on management and increased responsibility

– Exceptional CDC progress/completion

– Educational accomplishments demonstrate a willingness to lead/learn

– Leadership in community service programs

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LEVEL OF LEADERSHIP

Leadership focus at specific ranks - not all inclusive

• TSgt

– 60% or more on leadership of personnel

– Stress their performance of primary duties listed on the front of the EPR

– Focus on programs they ran above their normal duties

– Stress plans they revised/created, shops they helped setup or reorganize

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LEVEL OF LEADERSHIP

Leadership focus at specific ranks - not all inclusive

• TSgt (Con’t)

– Management of schedules/workload/personnel/ equipment/facilities/budget/training programs, etc

– Stress their performance of primary duties listed on the front of the EPR

– 2 bullets on community service; something they helped coordinate

– Awards at NCOA; ways they broaden and perfected their technical expertise and supervisory techniques

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LEVEL OF LEADERSHIP

Leadership focus at specific ranks - not all inclusive

• MSgt/SMSgt

– 80% or more on leadership; show transition to operational leader

– Excellence in primary duty; acceptance of additional duties; chair of external programs

– State impact to unit/wing/MAJCOM/Air Force

– OPLANS, CONPLANS, FOIs authored/implemented

– Process improvements

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LEVEL OF LEADERSHIP

All EPRs, regardless of rank, should include the following:

• Pursuance of any college or continued education

• Receipt of any awards or coins from commanders

• Implementation of their idea/process at the group or above level

• Heroic acts

• Out of cycle promotion (BTZ, STEP)

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TRIM THE "FAT"

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TRIM THE "FAT"

Is it a valid self-improvement? Is it relevant to the Air Force?

Example:- Dedicated to fitness and personal well-being;quit smoking habit

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TRIM THE "FAT"

Is the accomplishment at the member’s level of responsibility?

- Don’t cut/paste bullets from an airman’s EPR onto an NCO’s EPR

- If an airman did the work, the NCO’s EPR should reflect how he led the work

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TRIM THE "FAT"

Is the education meaningful?

Example:- Dedicated to continued education--actively enrolled in Community College of the Air Force

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TRIM THE "FAT"

Is the education meaningful?

• Must be additional classes taken in pursuit of a degree

• Included the GPA if it’s outstanding

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TRIM THE "FAT"

Delete the fillers

- That “say nothing” first bullet to “set the stage”

Example:-Airman Smith is a superior performer with boundless initiative; trusted to get the job done

- Effective stage setting:

• State an outstanding achievement that directly relates to primary duties

• List a significant award received (Flt NCO of Year)

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TRIM THE "FAT"

Delete the fillers

- The first indication of fluff is when unquantifiable words are used

Example:Several, many, dozens, immeasurably, all

Correction:- Led review of 192 training records prior to Nov 04 UCI inspection--corrected 37 discrepancies

- Led review of all training records prior to Nov 04 UCI Inspection--corrected several discrepancies

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TRIM THE "FAT"

Delete meaningless “power adjectives”

Example:Outstanding, impressive, superior, terrific

- Outstanding! Led 15 people during shipment of 28 pallets of munitions--completed 2 hours early

• “Outstanding!” didn’t do more than take up 12 letters

• Use the space to build accomplishment

• If the action is truly outstanding, the facts will speak for themselves

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TRIM THE "FAT"

Delete meaningless “power adjectives”

Better Example:– Led 15 people in shipment of 28 munitions pallets;

completed 2 hrs early--set ACC benchmark

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TRIM THE "FAT"

“Fat” Indicators:

• “Greatly improved…”

• “Reduced workarounds…”

• “Improved safety…”

These phrases lack quantification

• “Assisted with…”

A weak, passive expression that sounds like someone played a minor role.

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MARKINGS ON THE EPR

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MARKINGS ON THE EPR

Start off by saying, he/she supervises XX personnel. In the case of SrA, they might not supervise someone. Then list the specific duties they perform starting with the most to least important. Numbers should be listed when available. For instance, if they warehouse items, list the $$ amount or number of items. For AB/AMN/A1C, this block is helpful to show responsibility for BTZ consideration.

ADDITIONAL DUTIES: List significant (long term) duties. If an airman doesn’t have at least 1 additional duty, the supervisor isn’t doing his/her job.

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MARKINGS ON THE EPR

There are 4 blocks in each category: “fails to meet the standard”, “meets the standard”, “exceeds standards”, “exemplifies standards”

• Original intent: “meets the standard” = on par with peers Anything to the right was a mark up

• Current thinking: any markings to left of “exceeds standards” was considered a mark down

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MARKINGS ON THE EPR

Markings should be honest and reflect performance

Ensure that you are providing timely feedbacks

Document poor performance

Ratees should never be blindsided by EPR markings

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MARKINGS ON THE EPR

- Managed 50 T.O. accounts; corrected 27 discrepancies--zero defects on 12 QA inspections

- Rewrote master storage plan to rewarehouse 7 bldgs; reclaimed 27% space--done 2 days early

- Organized workout program for 20 Airmen; annihilated personal fitness test--top 10% of sqdn

- First-5 organization Treasurer; organized carwash to support squadron picnic--raised $537

- Led 5 person crew palletizing 50K chaff/flare for AEF 5/6; done 8 hrs early--no discrepancies

- Completed 5-lvl upgrade rqmts 3 months early--outstanding 94% on CDC end of course exam

- Authored new fire symbol update process; cut notification time in half--QA fails down 22%

AF Form 910 (Amn - TSgt)

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MARKINGS ON THE EPR

AF Form 910 (Amn - TSgt)

-The most important bullet in this block--highlight exceptional performance of primary duties-Save your 2 best bullets for line 1 of blocks V & VI, the strongest of the 2 goes in block VI-After first 2 bullets, talk about additional duty--avoid wrap around bullets at all costs -- No bullet more than one line and no more than 2 sub-bullets for each main bullet -- Avoid fancy adjectives--if you delete the flowery words, can it stand alone?-Things affecting the flight/squadron should go in block V--save the bigger things for block VI-3rd and 2nd to last bullets in this block are good places for community service and school -No single community service activity will warrant more than one line or bullet- Stratify here or list major awards rec’d--this bullet should agree with the front markings

-1st bullet should enhance bullet 1 in block V--also a good place to mention special honors-Things that affected the squadron, group, wing and Air Force should go here

- No single community service activity will warrant more than one line or bullet- The most important bullet in an EPR--list major awards like BTZ, Sqdn NCO of Yr, etc

Any derogatory comments or mention of administrative action in these blocks will make this a

referral EPR

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MARKINGS ON THE EPR

AF Form 911 (MSgt - CMSgt)

- Exceptional SNCO; selected as 4 FW Maintenance Professional of the Year for 2004

- Detected test set defect causing AIM-9 failures; developed new process--implemented AF-wide

- Authored new expenditure FOI; reduced form routing 32%--accountability errors down 30%

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MARKINGS ON THE EPR

Any 'mark down' on a SNCO EPR very likely will disqualify the member from senior rater endorsement and guarantees they won’t be promoted that cycle.

Start off here by saying, he/she supervises XX personnel, then list the specific duties they perform starting with the most to least important. Numbers are CRUCIAL. If they were an account custodian, put in the $$ amount or number of items. Board members care VOLUMES more about what this block says than they do about the Duty Title. This section demonstrates their level of responsibility, whereas the Duty Title is just a flowery way to say it.

ADDITIONAL DUTIES: List significant (long term) duties

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MARKINGS ON THE EPR

-The most important bullet--highlight exceptional performance in primary duty-The 2nd bullet builds on 1st and reinforces performance in primary duty-Accomplishments should relate to the flight/unit level--save higher levels for bottom -- Best to use sub-bullets here rather than in lower blocks -- No bullet should be more than 1 line and no more than 2 sub-bullets per main line

- The 2nd to last bullet should be hard hitting community service bullet--leadership- #1 of ## MSgts assigned; flt SNCO of Yr for 2005; absolutely ready for promotion

- Line 1 & 5 are the most important bullets in the entire EPR--talk primary duties- Use only single bullets--all bullets should be high level impacts- Focus on events affecting the Wing, MAJCOM, Air Force--no community service here- Stratify here/list major items MAJCOM/AF-level awards--this is 1st bullet noticed

- Bullet needs to address primary duties and reinforce line 1 above--the 2 must agree- Avoid sub-bullets in this block unless absolutely necessary, then only one

-As last line in block V, stratify and list squadron or group recognition

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MARKINGS ON THE EPR

Multi-line bullets should not be the first or last bullet in any block

The level of impact should increase from top to bottom (Wing/MAJCOM/Air Force)

Major wing or higher level awards should be bullet #1 in the endorser’s block

Bullets should indicate at what level an award was won

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QUANTIFICATION

Quantify whenever you can….numbers add up

Specific numbers are more believable than round or commonly used numbers

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COMMON MISTAKES

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COMMON MISTAKES

AFFECT - (verb) to influence, to have an impact on something.

Sticking your head in the toilet affects your ability to breath.

EFFECT - (noun) the end result.

The effect of the bomb was similar to what my house looks like after the kids eat too much sugar.

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COMMON MISTAKES

RATE - A quantity, a number

The inventory had a 100% accountability rate.

RATING - A grade, a result

The IG team gave them an overall rating of excellent.

LAY - To place, to put down

Please lay your gun down until you're sober.

LIE - To recline

Lie down before you fall down.

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COMMON MISTAKES

ENSURE - To make certain, to watch closely, to guarantee

His careful management of the budget ensured they had enough money for the entire year.

INSURE - To provide insurance for

You insure your car so it gets replaced if you crash it.

ASSURE - To promise, to pledge

I assure you, I won’t knock over a liquor store this weekend.

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COMMON MISTAKES

ACCEPT - To receive

I'd like to thank the academy and accept this Oscar on behalf of my fans.

EXCEPT - omit, set apart from

He'd be a great politician, except for those 3 or 4 felony convictions.

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COMMON MISTAKES

MORALE - Spirit, sense of wellbeing

The morale at this base needs to improve.

MORAL - Personal value

Moral people don’t appear on Jerry Springer.

THAN - comparison

My wife is more beautiful than anyone I know.

THEN - reference to time

If we get nose rings, then we'll be cool.

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COMMON MISTAKES

THERE (two most common uses)

- [adverb] - a specific placeStand over there.

- [pronoun] - used to introduce a clause or a sentence

There is never a good reason to drink and drive.

THEIR - describes ownership

It's their party, so they'll cry if they want to.

THEY'RE - they are

They're going to prison.

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EPR vs AWARD

EPR• 28 Lines to paint a 1-year picture (33 SNCO)

• Permanent history of accomplishments

Monthly or Quarterly Awards• More freedom with abbreviations/acronyms

• Time critical…will help build that bigger picture

• Career field awards have specified criteria

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WINNING PACKAGES

Wing Airman of Month Winner

– Troubleshot MA-3D compressor for not engaging; isolated bad HPCO switch--abated $22K procurement costs

– Replaced MA-3D triple drive gearbox, blower/compressor clutch in 8 hrs--critical unit FMC in half std time!

– #1 of 33 Amn! Led AGE mx efforts in support of OIF missions--drove in-commission rate up 22% in 3 weeks

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WINNING PACKAGES

Winning NCO Hard Charger– Led production of 359K flight/ground meals; supported over

1.3K combat sorties; best in ACC/CENTAF AOR

– Managed largest FKO in AF 12 military/77 TCN's/$1.5M food service contract; "coined" by CENTCOM/CC

– Led section test/integration of $350K CFS accountant software system; benchmarked by CENTAF for AOR!

– Accounts for 12K tons of rations worth $891K/$471K in purchases/$567K in issues; "coined" by SECAF

– Brainchild vendor delivery process for aircrew operations; saved AF $57K; won "CC's Excellence Award"

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PRACTICAL EXERCISE

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Summary

Why Write a Quality EPR? Bullet Construction How Many Bullets? Level of Leadership Trim the “Fat” Markings on the EPR Quantification Common Mistakes EPR vs Award Winning Packages Summary

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SOMETHING TO REMEMBER

When the constitution was written, that was the style of penmanship for the times.

Language changes…as is evident by our ever growing Webster’s Dictionary.

What may be acceptable writing today, may not be acceptable 1,3 or 5 years from now.

When one thinketh ahead, we inevitability prepareth our future lineage for success!