3799-027 Advanced Academic Writing 6th lecture · 2019-10-06 · 2019/10/30 Advanced Academic Writing 2 •This is the first thing people will see before reading your paper, it has

Advanced Academic Writing6th lecture

Instructor: Kumiko Morimura, Ph.D.

Asako Uchibori, Ph.D.

Matthew Richardson, Ph.D.

Center for Global Education, IIIEEThe University of Tokyo

[email protected]

13:00-14:45, Wednesday, October 30th

Eng. 2nd bldg. Room 211

Public Lecture for EngineeringGraduate School

Autumn Semester, 2019

3799-027

mailto:[email protected]

Abstract

1

Write what you did and what were your findings

2019/10/30 Advanced Academic Writing

The abstract is a critical part of an academic paper. Often readers will decide if they will pursue reading a paper based on it.An abstract should therefore allow to give a potential reader an idea of the contents in a condensed fashion. it should follow the same structure but in a condensed fashion:

2019/10/30 Advanced Academic Writing 2

• This is the first thing people will see before reading your paper, it has to be concise and attractive.

• Keep it as short as possible (100-300 words)• Focus on the results, not the means• A good practice is to write the abstract three times:

before, during and after the paper is finished• Do not refer to bibliography or figures/tables in the

abstract


Tips:Requirements on abstract length varies greatly between fields. Make sure to check before starting to write what is expected.check the page on redundancies and jargon.

Context: what issue is considered here? How is it relevant?Objective(s): what is the purpose of the work presented here? Brief description of the proposed method: in one or two sentences, provide an overview of your approach. Brief description of conducted experiments: usually just the type of experiment (simulation, real-world, …) should be enough. Conclusion: state the main contributions of your work.

https://wordpress.com/post/ericseut.wordpress.com/489

Abstract - Poor example

Write clear and simple sentences:

“The effects of various design and operating parameters on the performance of the proposed reactor were investigated using a detailed model-based analysis”

- What design and operating parameters?

- What was the model?

- What was the actual effect?


Abstract - Good example

Rewriting that text:

“Selectivity decreased by 20% while increasing temperature from 700° to 1000°C at constantpressure. Selectivity increased by 10% withincreasing pressure from 1 bar to 5 bar. A redoxkinetic model accounted for 87% of the variancein the data.”


Abstract format

• Format and writingstyle depend on thejournal

• Do NOT use symbols, special characters, or math in the title or abstract. (Reason: titles and abstracts go into databases all over the web and most databases can only handle ASCII characters)


Differences in abstract style

7

A. Human Factors and Ergonomics Society

B. American Institute of Astronauts and Astronautics

C. Nature

Number of words 250 200 150

Voice Active or passive Passive Active

Audience Broad audience Specializedaudience

Audience outsidethe discipline

Other specific notes Includesubheadings

It should not cite figures, tables orsections. Describe the treatment.

Avoid the use of adjectives for highlytechnical language


Grammar/Writing• Verb tense

8

Sentence Verb tense Example

Gap/problem Present simple - The main problem is…- This is complicated given that…- Although it is known theoretically that…

Content of thepaper

Present simple - This paper presents a new methodology…- This study reports an improved design…- New numerical results are presented

Methodology Past simple - Samples were prepared…- The data obtained was evaluated by…- Two catalysts were examined…

Results Past simplePresent simple (when referring to facts)

- The S-type was found to produce…- Hydrocarbons increased with…- The model is able to predict…- This theory applies to…


Grammar/Writing• Verb tense

9

Sentence Verb tense Example

Results Combination of past simple and present simple

- The experiments demosntrated that there is a relationship….- The results suggested that there are twomatrices

Achievements Present perfect - This research has revealed that…- We have devised a strategy which allows…- A novel material has been produced with…

Applications Present simple - This framework can be used to….- This approach is suitable for…- This process has a general applicability to…


Write your abstract

• Sentence 1. State the background (gap/problem)

• Sentence 2. State the general and specific objectives of the research

• Sentence 3 and 4. Describe succinctly the methodology

• Sentence 5. Indicate the results of the study

• Sentence 6. The writer presents the implications of the study (scope and application)



Abstract

What to write• What is the purpose/question

of the paper and its answer• Full summary of the contents

of the paper (Experiments, results, conclusion)


Grammar

• Use present tense for all statements of general validity

• Use past tense to explain what you did and describing past experimental approaches

• Avoid jargon and abbreviations

How to write it:• Background and

Question/Purpose

• Experimental approach

• Results

• Conclusion/answer and implications

Are there answers to these questions?

• What is the purpose/question?

• What is the experimental approach?

• What are the results?

• What is the answer/conclusion?

How to choose a right title?

First thing you see, you use it for searching• Be attractive, concise, and clear• Use descriptive terms (key-words) and the phrase

that indicates the main content of the paper• Within 12 words, 100 letters • Do not use abbreviations (except for chemical

symbols)• Use lower case for conjunctions（接続詞）and

postpositional particles（助詞）• Try to avoid “The, on, study, observation, or

investigation”


Title Checklist

2019/10/30 14

① Is the title:

a. With enough information about contents of

the paper

b. clear (not vague)

c. accurate (without fault)

d. brief (without unnecessary words)

② Based on an appropriate style of the title

③ Can be revised more? (reduce the number of

words)

Advanced Academic Writing

Title exercise

• Read this abstract and decide the title



Common awkward technical phrases due to the Japanese language quirks

Style


Coherence and cohesionTransitionsWordinessLength of sentencesPrecisenessLevel of sophisticationWatch out for misused wordsWord locationAdverbs and adjectivesActive voice vs passive voice

Active voice vs Passive voiceActive voice

-Can shorten the sentence

-Agents are often left out in passive voice

“In the first step, a case study to clarify the present situation was conducted.” vs.

“In the first step, we conducted a case study to clarify the present situation.”

Passive voice

- It is still more conventional to use the passive voice, especially for master or PhD theses. For journal or conference papers, sometimes you can use the active voice (we did) 2019/10/30 Advanced Academic Writing 18

But when you worked alone it is inappropriate to use I did.

“in this study” and “in our experiment/simulation”. For example, “In our experiment, the following two approaches were adopted to achieve this purpose.”


Transition words 1Additive – Gives more information about or supports a topicExamples:

Addition: also, in addition, or, indeed, furthermore

Introduction: for example, such as,

Reference: regarding, as for (this)

Similarity: similarly, likewise

Identification: namely, specifically

Clarification: in other words

Adversative – show some kind of contrast to the previous topic

Examples:

Conflict: however, in contrast, whereas

Emphasis: even more, above all, indeed

Concession: still, nevertheless, on the other hand

Dismissal: either way, in any case

Replacement: (or) at least, (or) rather, instead2019/10/30 Advanced Academic Writing 20

Transition words 2Causal – shows cause -> effect/result

Examples:

Cause/Reason: because, being that, for, due to, since

Condition: in the event that, granted, if, unless, even if

Effect/Result: as a result, consequently, hence, so that, so

Purpose: with this intention, to the end that, in the hope that, in order to

Consequence: under the circumstance that, in that case, if not

Sequential – show a chronological or sequential order

Examples:

Numerical: first, initially, second, for a start

Continuation: subsequently, previously, afterwards, eventually

Conclusion: in the end, to conclude, finally, eventually, lastly

Digression: by the way, incidentally, to change the topic

Resumption: to resume, to get back to the point, to return to the subject, anyway

Summation: so, in summary, in conclusion, altogether, overall, briefly2019/10/30 Advanced Academic Writing 21

If you feel that you are using too much of one transition, pick another one! Vary your language so that it does not repeat words to make it sound more sophisticated!


Word choice

Why technical words are effective?The first is that they help reduce tedious

explanations into a few words and preserve much-needed space.

When using words in your paper, it is important to make sure that these words are understood by your research peers. If a word is not commonly used or is from an emerging research topic, it must be explained or cited. You shouldn’t assume that your paper will necessarily be reviewed and read by people closely related to your research.


The second is that the use of technical words makes your paper formal and less colloquial.

“clicking a picture” is colloquial→ “capturing an image”.

“get data” → “capture/obtain data”.

“find”→ “estimate” or “calculate”

It is also wise to avoid the use of filler words like

“very”, “just”, “so”, “like”, etc.

“very difficult”→ “difficult”


The easiest way to find better words in place of colloquial ones is to use a thesaurus.（同義語辞典）Ensure that words chosen from a thesaurus are appropriate for the context. Use a thesaurus in moderation to sound formal, not fancy and complicated.

A convenient list of such words can be found here:http://www.uefap.com/vocab/select/awl.htm

Another resource to search for appropriate academic words is available at https://www.victoria.ac.nz/lals/resources/academicwordlist/sublist


http://www.uefap.com/vocab/select/awl.htm

https://www.victoria.ac.nz/lals/resources/academicwordlist/sublist

Wordiness“[…] they need some vacant rooms beforehand so that the people in the destruction area can move to, so UR stop asking for new people coming some years before the start of area-rebuilding, and that is said to be one great reason why the ageing rate of this area is especially so high.”

Three ideas are presented. (1) UR needed vacant rooms to relocate people, (2) UR stopped asking for new tenants, and (3) High ageing rate of the area can be attributed to this.

Avoiding long nonrestrictive clauses is also a good idea.2019/10/30 Advanced Academic Writing 26

“ […] they need to vacate some rooms beforehand, in order to relocate the people from the destruction areas. To support this, UR stopped asking for new incoming residents several years before the start of the area rebuilding. This is said to be one of the reason why the ageing rate of this area is especially high.”


Correct these sentences. Wordiness1. It has been found that CO2 and H2O formation has been reduced at high

temperatures

2. Conversion over 90% was achieved with a residence time of 20 minutes

3. A campus rally was attended by more than a thousand students. Five students were arrested by campus police for disorderly conduct, while several others are charged by campus administrators with organizing a public meeting without being issued a permit to do so.

4. In the not too distant future, college freshmen must all become aware of the fact that there is a need for them to make contact with an academic adviser concerning the matter of a major.

5. In our company there are wide-open opportunities for professional growth with a company that enjoys an enviable record for stability in the dynamic atmosphere of aerospace technology.

6. Some people believe in capital punishment, while other people are against it; there are many opinions on this subject.


Combine these sentences into one concise sentence

• 1. The cliff dropped to reefs seventy-five feet below. The reefs below the steep cliff were barely visible through the fog.

2. Their car is gassed up. It is ready for the long drive. The drive will take all night.

3. Sometimes Stan went running with Blanche. She was a good athlete. She was on the track team at school.

4. Taylor brought some candy back from Europe. It wasn't shaped like American candy. The candy tasted kind of strange to him.

5. Government leaders like to mention the creation of new jobs. They claim that these new jobs indicate a strong economy. They don't mention that low-wage jobs without benefits and security have replaced many good jobs.


Writing workshop


Documents

3799-027 Advanced Academic Writing 6th lecture · 2019-10-06 · 2019/10/30 Advanced Academic Writing 2 •This is the first thing people will see before reading your paper, it has