3799-027 Advanced Academic Writing 5th lectureOct 05, 2019 · 5th lecture Instructor: Kumiko Morimura, Ph.D. Asako Uchibori, Ph.D. Matthew Richardson, Ph.D. Center for Global Education,

Advanced Academic Writing5th lecture

Instructor: Kumiko Morimura, Ph.D.

Asako Uchibori, Ph.D.

Matthew Richardson, Ph.D.

Center for Global Education, IIIEEThe University of Tokyo

[email protected]

13:00-14:45, WednesdayEng. 2nd bldg. Room 211

Public Lecture for EngineeringGraduate School

Autumn Semester, 2019

3799-027

mailto:[email protected]

How to write a good paper

1. Preparations before starting

2. Construction of an article

3. Technical details

12019/10/23 Advanced Academic Writing

We have learned,,,

• Structure• Result• Discussion• Methodology

Today, we are going to learnIntroductionConclusionAbstract

2019/10/23 Advanced Academic Writing 2

Recap: Results vs Discussion

Keeping hard facts and personal interpretations separated is very important in academia!

Results: Objective(What you did and) what the results were

Discussion: SubjectiveWhat the results mean→ Degrees of uncertainty (may/might/possibility/favor/…)→ Unexpected outcomes (interestingly/surprisingly/…)→ Raising new hypotheses / explanations (this could mean …)→ Implications, future work (applications/eventually/…)


Recap: Methodology

• Strategic writing order of methodology• Unique and original parts → give a name to it =

emphasize originality• Measuring equipment in an original composition• Write in a chronological order → originality • Insist on its superiority to the existing method

• First, name your methodology, ○○method. • The best feature of this method is ….. Which enabled

to measure ABC.• Then write everything in order.


• If there are no superior points, you tend to name other’s method and point out bad points of the others.

• Be careful about defamation or arbitrary slander (名誉棄損や独断的中傷）

• Especially when you point out certain other researchers’ method.• “Fatal defect (致命的欠陥) was there.”, “It was too unreasonable

( 無理があった)”, “It was impossible”• Praise the others, be prudent, be strictly neutral （慎重な表現、賞賛の言葉、厳正中立） to introduce some other researchers’ work

• As most of the readers are the specialists in the area, long sentences are not effective. Itemize them.


Paper structure


Introduction:

Conclusion:

• Story• Logic• Easy to “scan”

Introduction

• Do not repeat what is written in the abstract

• State the objective, scope of the work and background (earlier studies, literature review)

• Your introduction must indicate what is thegap in your area of research and what is thescientific interest

• Be specific on what you expect to achieve

• Do not mix this section with results, discussionor conclusion


Introduction in 6 steps

A. State the relevance of your researchB. Provide some backgroundC. Be specific about the problem you are trying to

solve and the current research focus of the fieldD. Literature review on the general problemE. Mention important research specifically done on

this topic and then, explain the gap you are trying to fill

F. Describe the contents of your paper and some details regarding the methodology


Example 1

9

A

F

B

C

C

D

E

E


Example 2

10

A

B

C

D

E

F

2

2

3

3


Literature review

• You should write a couple of sentences for each reference relevant to your topic

• If several articles discuss the same subject, they can be referred simultaneously (e.g. Seed et al., 1983; Robertson 1999; Chang et al., 2010)

• Suggestion: Use a software to organize your references


AntConc

• https://www.laurenceanthony.net/software/antconc/


Literature review

• Some examples are:https://www.mendeley.com/https://www.zotero.org/http://www.citeulike.org/http://www.qiqqa.com/• How to start using one?

– Ask what people in your research group use– Check if the software is compatible with your operating

system and your word processor – Check the websites to see how easy it is to use– Look for tutorials and comments


https://www.mendeley.com/

https://www.zotero.org/

http://www.citeulike.org/

http://www.qiqqa.com/

Mendeley


Grammar/writing• TENSES

- Present simple is used to state facts and truths well known in science

“Effective stress is calculated directly from…”

“Risk depends on vulnerability and …”

- Use past simple to refer to events that happened (literaturereview)

“Scott (1985) proved that…”

“In their experiments they found a…”

- Use present perfect for sentences that are more relevant to thecurrent situation in your research

“Recent studies have suggested that…”

“Little attention has been paid to the selection of…”152019/10/23 Advanced Academic Writing

Grammar/writing

• SENTENCE CONNECTION (Cohesion)

- Use of pronouns or pro-forms (it, they, this, these)

- Relative clauses (that, which)

- As a tip, avoid the use of semicolon to join sentences

- Overlapping

“… is different in climate change. Actually, in climatechange…”


Grammar/writing

- Use sentence connectors

17

Relation betweensentences

Examples

Cause As, because, since, due to, on account of

Result Therefore, consequently, hence, so, as a result, which is

Contrast However, whereas, but, on the other hand, while

Unexpectedness Nevertheless, in spite of, despite, although, even though, regardless of, yet, even so

Addition In addition, furthermore, moreover, also, secondly


Grammar/writing

• Voice: passive or active

– Be consistent throughout all the paper

– Sometimes passive voice may lead to long orawkward sentences, try to write short sentences

– In passive voice, it might be difficult to identify the“doer” so you can use a dummy subject

“This paper describes…”

“This paper presents…”


Go Kahoot it!


Conclusion

20

• Write the most important result first

• Itemize the results→ wordy（冗長）

• Rephrase the hypothesis (correspond to introduction)

• Mention what you should do next

=

Paragraph

Topic sentence

Supporting sentences

Concluding sentence

Paper

Introduction(hypothesis)

Experiment(supporting)

Conclusion


Conclusion

• Try to have some peaks even in introduction or methods. Then, readers may want to read your paper.

• Do not tell the result in a chronological order, but emphasize some points. (Tell a story)

• For the conclusion, you write the topic sentence again, but never write the same sentences

-Accomplishments

-Conclusion from the accomplishment

-Remaining problem


Conclusion

Readers read Introduction firstThen where would they go next?Method? Result? Conclusion?

If the introduction and the conclusion are the same, what would they think?

Write in a nice way so that the readers can read Introduction and conclusion continuously.

Introduction cannot be overwritten, you need to think about conclusion.


ConclusionItemize: -amount of conclusion will be scarce

-cannot add the explanation

non-itemization: -hard to get the idea

-the author is trying to increase the amount of paper

→Increase the items (good papers have 4.6 items in average)

If you had only two and there is room for doubt, the paper will be denied.

Try to have more than 3 or 4. (Method or measurement would be OK)


Conclusion• Write the most impactful result first.

If the first one is ordinary, the readers will think that’s all you have in this paper.

• Remaining task, future work

→ reliability, originality

If you can prove them soon in a series it is OK but…

It may degrade the paper

→Mention a new challenge instead of writing “There are many points we can improve”


Correct these sentences. Wordiness1. It has been found that CO2 and H2O formation has been reduced at high

temperatures

2. Conversion over 90% was achieved with a residence time of 20 minutes

3. A campus rally was attended by more than a thousand students. Five students were arrested by campus police for disorderly conduct, while several others are charged by campus administrators with organizing a public meeting without being issued a permit to do so.

4. In the not too distant future, college freshmen must all become aware of the fact that there is a need for them to make contact with an academic adviser concerning the matter of a major.

5. In our company there are wide-open opportunities for professional growth with a company that enjoys an enviable record for stability in the dynamic atmosphere of aerospace technology.

6. Some people believe in capital punishment, while other people are against it; there are many opinions on this subject.


Work in class

Combine these sentences into one concise sentence

• 1. The cliff dropped to reefs seventy-five feet below. The reefs below the steep cliff were barely visible through the fog.

2. Their car is gassed up. It is ready for the long drive. The drive will take all night.

3. Sometimes Stan went running with Blanche. She was a good athlete. She was on the track team at school.

4. Taylor brought some candy back from Europe. It wasn't shaped like American candy. The candy tasted kind of strange to him.

5. Government leaders like to mention the creation of new jobs. They claim that these new jobs indicate a strong economy. They don't mention that low-wage jobs without benefits and security have replaced many good jobs.


Work in class

Abstract

27

Write what you did and what were your findings

• This is the first thing people will see before reading your paper, it has to be concise and attractive.

• Keep it as short as possible (100-300 words)• Focus on the results, not the means• A good practice is to write the abstract three times:

before, during and after the paper is finished• Do not make references to bibliography or

figures/tables in the abstract


Abstract - Poor example

Write clear and simple sentences:

“The effects of various design and operating parameters on the performance of the proposed reactor were investigated using a detailed model-based analysis”

- What design and operating parameters?

- What was the model?

- What was the actual effect?


Abstract - Good example

Rewriting that text:

“Selectivity decreased by 20% while increasing temperature from 700° to 1000°C at constantpressure. Selectivity increased by 10% withincreasing pressure from 1 bar to 5 bar. A redoxkinetic model accounted for 87% of the variancein the data.”


Abstract format

• Format and writingstyle depend on thejournal

• Do NOT use symbols, special characters, or math in the title or abstract. (Reason: titles and abstracts go into databases all over the web and most databases can only handle ASCII characters)


Differences in abstract style

31

A. Human Factors and Ergonomics Society

B. American Institute of Astronauts and Astronautics

C. Nature

Number of words 250 200 150

Voice Active or passive Passive Active

Audience Broad audience Specializedaudience

Audience outsidethe discipline

Other specific notes Includesubheadings

It should not cite figures, tables orsections. Describe the treatment.

Avoid the use of adjectives for highlytechnical language


Grammar/Writing• Verb tense

32

Sentence Verb tense Example

Gap/problem Present simple - The main problem is…- This is complicated given that…- Although it is known theoretically that…

Content of thepaper

Present simple - This paper presents a new methodology…- This study reports an improved design…- New numerical results are presented

Methodology Past simple - Samples were prepared…- The data obtained was evaluated by…- Two catalysts were examined…

Results Past simplePresent simple (when referringto facts)

- The S-type was found to produce…- Hydrocarbons increased with…- The model is able to predict…- This theory applies to…


Grammar/Writing• Verb tense

33

Sentence Verb tense Example

Results Combination of past simple and present simple

- The experiments demosntrated that thereis a relationship….- The results suggested that there are twomatrices

Achievements Present perfect - This research has revealed that…- We have devised a strategy which allows…- A novel material has been producedwith…

Applications Present simple - This framework can be used to….- This approach is suitable for…- This process has a general applicabilityto…


Grammar/Writing

• Language

- Employ keywords and phrases common in yourresearch area, but use language slightly lesstechnical than in the main body to attract a wideraudience

34Glasman-Deal, 20102019/10/23 Advanced Academic Writing

Write your abstract

• Sentence 1. State the background (gap/problem)

• Sentence 2. State the general and specific objectives of the research

• Sentence 3 and 4. Describe succinctly the methodology

• Sentence 5. Indicate the results of the study

• Sentence 6. The writer presents the implications of the study (scope and application)


Documents

3799-027 Advanced Academic Writing 5th lectureOct 05, 2019 · 5th lecture Instructor: Kumiko Morimura, Ph.D. Asako Uchibori, Ph.D. Matthew Richardson, Ph.D. Center for Global Education,