FIRST PRIZE! Two older ladies were sitting on a park bench outside the local town hall where a flower show was in progress. One leaned over and said, "Life is so boring. We never have any fun anymore. For $5.00 I'd take my clothes off right now and streak through that stupid flower show!" "You're on!" said the other old lady, holding up a $5.00 bill. As fast as she could, the first little old lady fumbled her way out of her clothes and, completely naked, streaked through the front door of the flower show. Waiting outside, her friend soon heard a huge commotion inside the hall, followed by loud applause. The naked lady burst out through the door surrounded by a cheering crowd. "What happened?" asked her waiting friend. "Why, I won first prize for Best Dried Arrangement."

YOU KNOW YOU’RE A MASTER GARDENER WHEN:

10. You rejoice in rain...even after 10 straight days of it. 9. You have pride in how bad your hands look. 8. You have a decorative compost container on your kitchen counter. 7. You can give away plants easily, but compost is another thing. 6. Soil test results actually mean something. 5. IPM rules! 4. You’d rather go to a nursery to shop than a clothes store. 3. You look for gardens open to the public whenever you go on vacation. 2. Your non-gardening spouse is actually getting involved with your garden endeavors...digging ponds, building bird houses, watering, pruning, turning compost piles, planting... and you definitely know you're a Master Gardener when… 1. You are surrounded by terrific people who share your passion!

What did the carrot say to the

wheat?

Lettuce rest, I'm feeling beet.

“Accept challenges, so that you may

feel the exhilaration of

victory.”

~George S. Patton~

Page 9

#206 - 304 Main Street • (403) 945-3114 Located next to the Horseman Motel

2 eggs, bacon, ham or sausage, and hash browns.

What vegetable can tie your stomach in knots?

String beans.

"SIMPLY" "EXTREME" MAKEOVER "BIG BEARS" EDITION

Betty: I have managed to get back into routine after my holiday. It was a bit of a chore to settle back into work, the gym and having to cook for myself and my family again. Eating out was so easy, nothing to prepare, nothing to cook, and no dishes to deal with but, I have to admit, I did not feel all that great after eating out three times a day. It must be the extra salt and fat that most restaurants use in their recipes. It truly is more en-joyable to be eating lighter meal choices from Simply for Life, working out at Big Bears gym and enjoying Extreme Pita's healthy menu. Jen: Well, as this challenge is coming to a close, I have been sitting back and reviewing the past 12 weeks. I can honestly say I feel so much healthier than when we first started. A lot has happened over the past three months, and some days were more challenging than others. Learn-ing to change my eating patterns, and not turning to food for comfort has definitely been my toughest challenge. We will be having our final measurements taken next week, and I am excited to see the progress made during the second half of the challenge. As I figured, my weight loss has slowed somewhat, but it is still coming off, and really, I have nothing to feel bad about. I accomplished what I set out to do, and then some. I think all of us have. Simply for Life has taught me the value of different foods, and why it’s such a major factor in weight loss. Big Bears gym, from their classes to their staff, have been so supportive and helpful throughout. And with the Extreme Pitas great menu and healthy selections, it was almost impossible to get off track. Living a healthy lifestyle isn't the challenge, it's finding the will and the drive to do so. Hopefully, I can keep it up.

Page 10

God made rainy days, so

gardeners could get the housework

done.

Bay #1, 805 East Lake Blvd Airdrie, Alberta 403.945.0178

DID YOU KNOW ????

Our Grilled Chicken Salad has only 148 cal. 3.2 g. total fat, and 11.8 g carbs

Panda Flowers - Airdrie Main St., Towerlane II Plaza

Blinds~Shutters~ Drapery~Toppers Color Consulting

BEST Prices BEST Service

WHERE AIRDRIE SHOPS!

Old Sam Johnson goes to his doctor complaining of aches and pains all over his body. After a thorough

examination, the doctor gives him a clean bill of health.

"Sam, you're in excellent shape for an 85 year old man. But I'm not a magician - I can't make you any

younger," says the doctor.

"Who asked you to make me younger?" says Sam. "You just make sure I get older!"

Page 11

The woman applying for a job in a Florida lemon grove seemed way too qualified for the job. "Look Miss," said the foreman,

"have you any actual experience in picking lemons?" "Well, as a matter of fact, yes!"

she replied. "I've been divorced three times."

By satisfied customers!

Max. 200 sq.ft. per room. Coupon must be present when booking!

In Your Home Airdrie & District

Kathie Arndt R.N.

Phone: (403) 948-4114

DVA Billing

WHEN YOU JUST NEED MORE SPACE!

"SIMPLY" "EXTREME" MAKEOVER "BIG BEARS" EDITION CON'T

Geoff: Well, here it is, the second to last week of the Airdrie challenge and I am close to my personal goal. Other than the holiday glitch, I mentioned in my last blurb, I feel I can finish on a positive note. The Simply for Life menu, and the Big Bear gym trips, have started to fit in with my daily routine. Of course, let’s not forget those Extreme Pita wraps, as they did help to get me through some of my hungry moments. I look forward to next week as it will give me a chance to see how my fellow participants made out. Lois: Not exactly as excited as my fellow participants for those final measurements but the challenge is coming to a close. I would really REALLY like to thank Extreme Pita for the opportunity to participate in this years lifestyle change. Simply for Life … Danielle, you rock and I plan to continue on with the program even after this is over. Big Bears has been a life saver, LOL, not mine either… It’s that whole stress thing and, honestly, there ain’t nothin’ like a good work out. I wish I could say I was down 25 lbs but I fell off the wagon. I’m 10 away and I will get there. I’m just going to run the race like the tortoise, instead of the hare. Best thing for my family out of this whole thing is knowing that we can live healthier lifestyles and not have to eat only lettuce. Creativity in the kitchen goes a long way and I had so many choices with the Simply for Life program that it made it almost enjoyable. When I asked my daughter the other day what she wanted for supper from our menu selection, she didn’t even think twice about her favourite. Chili Soup. Next week I’m going to put in one of our favourite recipes to share and you’ll see!! Well, I’m hopping on that scale on Friday and I’m not going to beat myself up if I’m up a pound or two. I’m going to get focused and git’r dun. It just may take me longer. Again, thanks Dave, Danielle and Penny.

My mother's menu

consisted of two choices:

Take it or leave it.

- Buddy Hackett

What kind of socks does a

gardener wear?

Garden hose.

Page 12

What does the letter "A" have in common with a

flower?

They both have bees coming after

them.

OPEN WEEKENDS!

Call for more information and schedule.

(403) 948-3404

What gets bigger the more you take away? A hole.

What do you call two young married

spiders? Newly webs.