2knowmyself How to Know if Someone is Lying to You

8/20/2019 2knowmyself How to Know if Someone is Lying to You

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A free guide to lying detection released byhttp://www.2knowmyself.com

The ultimate source for self understanding

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A free guide to lying detection

Released by

http://www.2knowmyself.com

The ultimate source to self understanding





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How to know if someone is lying to you

Suppose you met your friend with a smile on your face, then later told him youwere sad. Would he believe you?

No, he would never believe you because he has seen the smile on your face; inother words, he has seen the inconsistency between what you are saying andthe facial expression you're showing him.

We all know that nobody smiles when they're sad, but I'm not talking aboutconscious inconsistencies here; I'm talking about the unconscious ones. Yoursubconscious mind controls many of your involuntary functions like that ofbreathing, sweating, heart-beating....etc. When someone attempts to lie, they canhave control over their facial expressions and tone of voice, but theirunconscious mind still controls all other involuntary signals like body languageand respiration rate. These unconscious signals are what we will be using to

detect if they are lying; if their words are consistent with their unconscious signalsthen they are saying the truth, otherwise they are lying.

This article is not about intuitive or logical tricks, it provides lying detectiontechniques that are based on deep psychological concepts and proven facts.

Signs that Show when Someone Is Lying

The following are signs you should look for when attempting to spot a liar:

• Body Language: Liars usually hide their palms and almost never sit

straight while telling a lie. They also avoid eye contact and generally usenegative evaluation gestures, that is if they feel bad while lying (For moreinformation, check the full page on a liar’s body language below)

• Eye Accessing Cues Mismatch: According to NLP, the direction the eyetakes reflects the order taking place in the brain at the time. For example,looking towards the upper left side means that you are constructing animage in your mind, but if you're looking towards the upper right side thenyou're recalling an image. How can that be of use? Well, think about it; ifsomeone is looking in the upper left direction as while asking aboutsomething then he's probably constructing an image of the lie he's aboutto tell; this is one of the signs that he could be lying. (See the full guide to

eye accessing cues and liar detection below).





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• Inconsistencies in the Story: In different places and times, the story ismore likely to change every single time it is narrated; he will one timeforget a word, add something completely new, or remove something thathe has been previously mentioned. Regardless of the type ofinconsistency, it shows he is lying.

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Feeling Anxious: Almost anyone who lies feels anxious; with variousdegrees depending on how professional the liar is. One of your concernsshould be trying to spot his state of anxiety; talk as much as you can aboutthe subject in order to keep him anxious. Check out anxiety bodylanguage in order to be able to detect anxiety.

• Avoiding the Subject: A person who wants to hide something will usuallytry to avoid bringing it up in the conversation or even talking aboutanything remotely related to it. Try to talk about anything related to thesituation without addressing it directly and see if he tries to jump out of itinto another topic.

• Lack of Assertiveness: Unless that person is a special agent who is

professionally trained to lie, he will usually lack assertiveness while lying.His tone of voice will be lower and he will appear to be less confident.• Speaking Slowly: When lying, the person will usually be making up his

talk as he goes along; that would result in slower speech or even severalcomplete stops to provide him/her with time to think about what he's aboutto say next.

• I Want to Hide: A liar will usually have an unconscious desire to hide, butsince he can't go anywhere this will be reflected in his posture and bodymovement. Accordingly, a liar will almost always have his back bent alittle, trying to get his body to occupy smaller space (it's almost like one'sbending inwards on oneself). One does so because one's subconsciousmind is thinking that if one's posture is made smaller then one might gounnoticed.

• Giving too much Evidence When Telling the Truth: when someonewho is used to lying tells the truth, he will probably try to prove it with asmuch evidence as one can; that's because one usually doesn’t considerone's honest answer to be strong evidence. Take this as an example:Mom: Joe , did you eat those sweets?Joe: of course not, you know I can't eat sweets because my teeth arehurting me. You can ask Tom; he'll tell you I haven't. Believe me, I haven'tbeen anywhere near them; anyone in the house can confirm this fact.

The conclusion is that Joe wants to say: "Mom, this time is not like allother times; I really am not lying this time".

• Body Language: As soon as you change the subject or stop asking aboutthe topic, a liar's body language may change from a state of anxiety(fingernail biting, fidgeting, sweating and jiggling the contents of pockets)





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to a state of relaxation (breathing deeply and taking up open gestures).See the guide for full body language information).

• Lack of Alignment: If the person is telling the truth, his body languageand tone of voice will match his spoken words. However, if this person islying, there will be a misalignment between his voice and his words. For

example, telling you that he is really interested in a topic as he leans backin the chair and his head not tilted back may also indicate that he's lying.(Check this article for more information on body language of theinterested).

• Fake Smiles: A true smile is the result of the movement of different facialmuscles; cheek muscles and the muscle groups below the eyes. This inturn leads to a few wrinkles in the face, especially below the eyes. Fakesmiles only result in the movement of the muscles around the mouth; allthe other muscles remain in place.

• Avoiding Direct Answers Mom: Joe, did you eat those sweets?

Joe: Mom, I just got home half an hour ago.Mom: Did you eat those sweets???Joe: You know I don’t like sweets that much.

• Sweating If you keep repeating a question over and over, a thin film ofsweat will form on a liar's face and palms. If the lighting of the roomdoesn't change and this person's face shines a little more, then this is anindication of the presence of sweat on his face. If your hands slip whenshaking hands, this may be the indication of the presence of sweat on hishands.

• Skepticism: People who always lie tend to be more skeptic; that'sbecause they think that everybody is lying too. On the other hand, peoplewho rarely lie tend to believe just about anything because they assumethat no body lies.

Have you ever noticed eye movements?

Have you ever noticed how people's eyes move from one direction to the otherupon being asked a question? Research results show that there is a connectionbetween what someone is thinking of at the moment and the direction his eye

moves to. The six possible directions that the eye could be headed to whenthinking about something are: upper right, upper left, middle right, middle left ,lower right and lower left .

Each direction represents a function that is currently taking place inside the mind.For a right handed person who's facing you, the following is an illustration of whatthe different eye movements could mean (Note that the following directions aredescribing the eye positions of someone who is facing you):





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NLP, eye accessing cues

• Upper left; Visual Construction (VC): A person looking towards thatdirection is constructing the image of a visual scene; a person's eye couldmove to this direction when asked about the color of his dream car for

example.• Upper right; Visual Remembering (VR): A person looking towards that

direction is remembering the image of a visual scene, that's the directionsomeone would look towards when asked about the color of his car.

• Middle left; Auditory Construction (AC): A person looking towards thatdirection is constructing a sound, that's the direction the person's eyewould be directed to when asked a question like, what do you think he willsay when you meet him tomorrow?

• Middle Right; Auditory Remembering (AR): A person looking towards thatdirection is remembering a sound, that's the direction the person's eyewould wander to upon being asked a question like, what did Sam tell you

yesterday?• Lower left; Kinesthetic (K): This is the direction someone's eyes would

move towards when accessing his feelings; that's the direction his eyescould move to when asked something like, how did it feel to fail thatexam?"

• Lower right; Auditory Digital (AD): This is the direction someone's eyesmove to when having an inner-self conversation.

Eye-accessing cues and liar detection:

This can be very useful to know; it can help you figure out if someone is telling

the truth or not; asking someone about the color of his car should have his eyesmove to the upper right (visual remembering). If it heads to the visualconstruction instead, then he's probably constructing an image instead ofremembering it; the truth could be that he does not have a car at all. The samegoes when you ask someone a question like: what did Sam tell you yesterday?The AR direction would show the process of him remembering the conversation;on the other hand the AC direction would show that he's lying.

CAUTION: Note that using such a method to detect whether someone islying or not is very risky; there are some things you should be aware of if you aregoing to use such a method. Below are a list of guidelines you should stick to if

you're going to use this method; the "liar detection", else you will find thateveryone is a liar!!

• The person in question may have the directions reserved (the VC and theVR are reserved), in such a case all you have to do is ask him a questionthat you already know the answer to; your job is to observe where hiseyes go. Doing so, you'll be able to know the direction he uses forremembering and thus the other will be that of construction. You can then





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ask him the question you want the answer to and observe if his eyes gotowards a different direction from that he looked towards when you askedhim the first question.

• If the person in question is trying to remember something stored in hisshort term memory, his eyes may not looks towards any specific direction;

they may just stay focused towards the middle.• Some people tend to remember by focusing and refocusing pupils without

having their eyes move towards any direction; in such a case, there'snothing you can do about it.

Body language and the state of lying:

Just like any other emotional state, lying brings about some changes to yourgestures and posture. If you are familiar with these gestures, you will be able todetect liars right away.

Beginning with the simple methods, there are a lot of noticeable signs that can bedetected when a person is lying. Noticing two or more of these signs means thatthat person is possibly lying, noticing more than three rises the percentage of thatperson lying and so on; remember that one sign is never enough. The signs youshould be looking for are:

• If that person is not used to lying or if his values and beliefs make himperceive lying as unacceptable, then when telling the lie he will negativelyevaluate what he is saying and will thus make one of the negativeevaluation gestures (touching nose or ears). Negative evaluation gesturesin body language are done when someone considers something to be

negative; he doesn’t like the fact that he's lying. Note that this onlyhappens with people who consider lying to be a bad thing, and not witheveryone.

• Eye contact weakens drastically when someone is lying; the person is notgoing to look you in the eye, but will keep looking all over the place. If youwant to know everything about eye contact and body language then readthis guide

• A lying person will hardly ever show his palms as showing your palms is asign of being honest and truthful; people who lie usually either put theirpalms down or keep their hands inside their pockets. See the picturesbelow illustrating the differences between someone who is lying and

someone who is telling the truth• A lying person's back is rarely up straight and the posture is hardly never

upright (unless he is proud of lying, see body language and straight back for more information on this topic )





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Lying Detection Final Note

It's very important to know that there are many other variables involved in thisprocess. Thus, I suggest that you use these methods for decision support andnot for sole judgment of others. For example, if you suspect that someone islying, you should then start to see if any of these signs apply to them; of coursethe more signs you find, the more likely that person is lying.

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2knowmyself How to Know if Someone is Lying to You