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The Irish Catholic, April 26, 2012 |FEATURE||2
The rst Cana Week in Ireland will take place July 8 - 14,
inCastledaly Manor, near Athlone, Co. Westmeath. For
furtherinformation contact: Tim or Sally Phalan on 087 630 7448or
087 418 9338, or email [email protected] or
[email protected]
Learning to pray as a couple
MagsGargantalks tocoupleswhose lives
have beenenriched bythe Canaprogramme
Evelyn Burns, a mumof three from Co.Wicklow, says: Ithappens so
often
that you just get consumedwith the functionality of fam-ily life
rather than just livingit.
Two years ago, Evelyn andher husband Mick were talk-ing about
how busy marriagecan be, especially with threeyoung kids, and they
decidedto go on a retreat together.Providence then intervenedwhen a
work colleague gaveMick a brochure for the Canaprogramme.
Cana is a six-day pro-gramme for couples tostrengthen their
marriageand deepen their spiritual life.It includes talks, prayer,
timetogether as a couple, relaxa-tion and times of celebration.It
is run by the Chemin NeufCommunity, an internationalCatholic
community with astrong ecumenical commit-ment which is inspired
bythe spirituality of Ignatius of
Loyola and the CharismaticRenewal.
Couples can bring theirchildren along on retreat andthey take
part in their ownCana programme where theyare looked after by a
team ofvolunteers who organise ac-tivities, games and
recreation.
We felt straight away thatwe were led to go there, Micksays.
Personally, I was havinga struggle with the Churchand my faith, so
it was a hugedeparture for me to decide togo on retreat.
Evelyn says she did noteven notice that it was aCatholic
retreat, which would
have actually put her off. Iwould say that my faith wasvery weak
at that time. So itis just completely the powerof the Holy Spirit
that led usthere, she says.
The retreat was in St Gil-das Christian Centre in Som-
erset, England, and the cou-ple say that as soon as theywalked
in the gates they feltthings begin to change.
Coming from such a lowebb, it was phenomenal thetransformation
that tookplace in the space of a week,Mick says. It was an
amazingjourney, both personally andas a couple.
SkillsThe couple learned new skillsin how to deal with issues
intheir marriage such as com-
munication and conflict, butmost of all they say the expe-rience
brought God back intotheir lives and the life of theirfamily.
You think you are differ-ent or your problems are dif-ferent,
when really everyone
has the same issues and it isvery heartening to sit aroundand
talk about these thingswith other people especiallypeople who have
young chil-dren and understood wherewe were coming from.
There were no big issuesin our marriage but yet thechildren
become such a fo-cus, Evelyn says. Thats whyit is called Cana, its
aboutturning the water of yourmarriage into wine.
Its bringing God into theeveryday and just making it
a wondrous thing. When youinvite God into your mind it isvery
healing, she says.
The focus shifts from eachother to the kids, and withoutany
malice it is easy to forgetabout your partner, caught upin
everything else that is go-
ing on, Mick agrees.So what the retreat did
for us, is that it helps yourefocus back on the couple.Growing
together as a couple,but growing with the Lord asour guide together
was a newexperience for us prayingtogether, sharing togetherhas
been a very fruitful expe-rience.
When Mick and Evelyn re-turned to Ireland, they joineda small
fraternity of coupleswho have also attended aCana week in Britain
and
meet once a month to con-tinue in that role of supportand
encouragement.
The fraternity was begunby Tim and Sally Phalan whofirst did a
Cana retreat fouryears ago and are now or-ganising the first Irish
Cana
week in Castledaly Manor in
Athlone in July.Sally says she and Tim
first went to Cana not know-ing what to expect andwere very
charmed by theamount of love and care thatthey were given.
JourneyThere is a journey that thecouple go through, so thereis
a beginning, middle andend. At the same time, thestructure creates
a spacewhere the Holy Spirit works,and leads the whole thing
soevery couple has a differentexperience there, she says.
Sally says the experience
is about bringing Jesus intothe heart of the couples
rela-tionship and learning to praytogether.
We are very differentpersonalities and we alwaysfound it very
difficult to praytogether because we getcaught up in each other.
Nowwhen we sit down to pray weare very aware of having thepresence
of Jesus with us. Soits like we learn how to do atrialogue, which
is to includeJesus in our prayer and con-versation.
The Cana week is a non-profit undertaking and ismade possible
through theefforts of volunteers, so costsare kept as low as
possible tomake it available to as manypeople as possible.
Couples who have com-pleted a Cana week have theopportunity to
come back andvolunteer on future retreats,bringing their children
along.
There are childrensgroups divided by age and
they need helpers and so
really in effect quite a cmunity centred on peopleing the Cana
week, Tim s
But it is concentric cirof community of peoworking, living and
shathe experience together getting something fromWe dont simply go
therwork. It is a refreshing expence re-immersing yourin the
spiritual experienalthough it is physical hwork as well.
The children have a wderful time, Sally says. Thave their own
programso it is not just babysittIt is like everyone is un
around this one purpwhich is creating this wderful space for the
couin which the Holy Spirit work. Nothing is too mucdo for these
couples tare absolutely loved by eryone.
Mick says that it wasnttil the family returned hofrom Cana that
they realhow much the retreat hadpacted on their children.
They absolutely adoit, which surprised us. Thave very fond
memorieit. We went back last yeavolunteers and they loveding back.
It is something vhard to put into words. Itsatmosphere its very
nuring and caring.
Seven-year-old Kate Busays what she liked mabout the Cana week
is she had fun and made lofriends. She liked that eryone is looking
after yand she learned that Goalways with you.
Mick and Evelyn Burns with their children Daniel (5), Kate (7),
and Isla (2). Photo:Melina Prasse
Tim and Sally Phalan are introducing Cana into Irelan
