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Retrospective 2017 Queensland Core Skills Test Writing Task (WT) (Part 3 of 5)

2017 Queensland Core Skills Test...1 Photograph This stimulus piece makes the point that a photograph can freeze and record a moment in time, allowing the viewer to contemplate something

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Page 1: 2017 Queensland Core Skills Test...1 Photograph This stimulus piece makes the point that a photograph can freeze and record a moment in time, allowing the viewer to contemplate something

Retrospective2017 Queensland Core Skills TestWriting Task (WT) (Part 3 of 5)

Page 2: 2017 Queensland Core Skills Test...1 Photograph This stimulus piece makes the point that a photograph can freeze and record a moment in time, allowing the viewer to contemplate something
Page 3: 2017 Queensland Core Skills Test...1 Photograph This stimulus piece makes the point that a photograph can freeze and record a moment in time, allowing the viewer to contemplate something

Writing Task (WT)This section describes the 2017 Writing Task testpaper and discusses the writing that students produced in response. The comments are based on an analysis of a statistically significant random sample of student responses to the testpaper. Copyright restrictions do not allow the testpaper to be reproduced in this document.

The Writing Task complements the other three subtests of the QCS Test by testing a student’s ability to produce a piece of continuous English prose in response to the testpaper. The testpaper provides an overall concept or theme and a number of written and visual stimulus pieces that are related to the overall concept. Each stimulus piece evokes a different aspect of the concept and is intended to assist the student by providing ideas for a response to the testpaper. The student response needs to demonstrate a clear connection to the overall concept, and also, to one or more of the stimulus pieces.

Responses to the testpaper are to be about 600 words in length and students may write in any form or style except poetry. A breakdown is provided of student responses according to the stimulus pieces used for ideas and the genres represented in the responses.

Each response is marked by three independent markers. Depending on which of the three marksheets a marker has randomly selected, each marker assigns either four criteria-based standards, or three criteria-based standards and a judgment about the criterion of Length. Different combinations of judgments are required of the three primary markers. Markers consider the contribution to the holistic worth of the response of each of the criteria they are considering. On the marksheet, they record each of their judgments as a standard (from 1 to 6) with a qualifier (+,0,–) and, if required, they indicate a judgment about the length of the response. Referee marking occurs if necessary.

The most successful responses to the Writing Task are those that demonstrate higher achievement in the criteria identified in the marking guide. These are: Central idea (CI); Vocabulary (V); Responsiveness (R); Grammar, punctuation, spelling (GPS); Structuring & sequencing (SS); and Length (L). The marking guide is provided on page 66 to indicate the criteria and standards that are used to grade the responses.

Finally, a selection of student responses has been included to exemplify successful writing as defined by the task criteria.

WT 2017 Overall concept: What lastsThe overall concept linking the 14 separate stimulus pieces on the 2017 Writing Task testpaper is what lasts. Markers needed to be alert to possible interpretations of this concept as they made judgments on the criterion of Responsiveness.

Students were able to take the overall concept as referring to something that has endured or is likely to endure over time, or perhaps, something that is likely to remain after other things have disappeared. This could be something that withstands difficulties. It could be an action or an activity that persists against all odds. It could be a belief, an attitude or a memory that perhaps continues to influence present-day actions or behaviours. It could be something that we can predict will continue long into the future. Words associated with the concept that come to mind include: permanent, abiding, deep-rooted, durable, surviving, stable, reliable, traditional, eternal, immortal. Of course, some students took as their position the idea of what does not last.

Whatever the interpretation of what lasts, this concept provided scope for a range of responses in a variety of text types: expository, imaginative, persuasive and reflective. Students wrote discussions or arguments about things that may be significant over a period of time. They responded in true or fictional accounts and reports, in short stories, and in reflections on experiences or events, either fictional or actual. This overall concept provided a starting point for responses that focused on physical elements or that tapped into more intangible aspects of the human condition.

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Page 4: 2017 Queensland Core Skills Test...1 Photograph This stimulus piece makes the point that a photograph can freeze and record a moment in time, allowing the viewer to contemplate something

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Diagram of the testpaperThe testpaper includes 14 separate pieces of stimulus material relating to the overall concept.

Stimulus pieces The following diagram shows the percentage of students who indicated (by ticks on the diagram on the front cover of their response book) that they selected ideas from a particular stimulus piece (or pieces) as a starting point or resource for their writing. In reality, most students used more than one stimulus piece in developing the response, thus opening up a greater variety of possibilities for their writing. For this reason, the percentages shown in this diagram add up to more than 100%.

Indication of stimulus pieces as starting point or resource

Page 5: 2017 Queensland Core Skills Test...1 Photograph This stimulus piece makes the point that a photograph can freeze and record a moment in time, allowing the viewer to contemplate something

Commentary on stimulus piecesStudents were required to compose a response that demonstrated a clear connection to the overall concept and to one or more of the stimulus pieces discussed here.

The following commentary is based to some extent on the assumption that students used only one of the stimulus pieces as a starting point or source of ideas for their responses to the overall concept of the testpaper. The reality is that many drew ideas from two or more stimulus pieces.

1 Photograph

This stimulus piece makes the point that a photograph can freeze and record a moment in time, allowing the viewer to contemplate something that may not have been seen at the time, or that may never happen again. In their responses, students focused on the importance of a photographic record in keeping alive the memories of personal experiences or family members and friends whom they have loved. Many wrote first person accounts and reflections, either fictional or true.

2 Invention

This stimulus piece comments on the significance of inventions that are ‘of lasting importance’ and examples of these were listed. Initially it would appear that students were being encouraged to consider and discuss the benefits of inventions. However, the addition of gunpowder to the list, together with the image of a fighter plane, was a reminder that not all the outcomes of a clever invention may be benign. Responses were mostly expository or persuasive. Students discussed the lasting effects of notable inventions and how they may affect our lives in the future. Many focused on the urgent need for us to make responsible choices as we adapt to a world in which the existence of some inventions will no longer be a science fiction flight of fancy. Some made connections between the ideas in this piece and stimulus piece 14.

3 Reality

The view of the future expressed in this stimulus piece suggests that future records of the past may change in nature and increase in quantity. We have already gone well beyond a reliance on oral histories and printed records of what has gone before. Ahead of us lies the possibility of keeping electronic records of what people write, say and think. The suggestion that we may be able to preserve the knowledge and opinions of those who are long gone prompted expositions, reflections and imaginative responses. Some students made links with stimulus pieces 6 or 7.

4 Friends

The focus on friendship in this stimulus piece reminds us of the need to hold on to our friends. It prompted reflections on friendships made and friendships lost, why some last longer than others, and what we can do to make them last. Some students discussed the nature of friendship in expositions or reflections. Some wrote about childhood friendships, others projected themselves into the future, giving accounts of imagined past events and adventures with friends. Some combined the ideas in this piece with ideas from stimulus pieces 1, 7, or 12.

5 Dreams

The extract from Langston Hughes’ short poem, ‘Dreams’, affirms the importance of having dreams for the future. It warns us that we cannot live without our dreams and we must not lose sight of them. If we do, the life we want to lead ‘cannot fly’. This stimulus piece was used mostly in combination with others, and it prompted expository, persuasive and reflective responses. Some students took a broad view, focusing on the ways in which the future of our society may be shaped by the dreams of many. Some were of the opinion that on their own, dreams are not enough; the hardheaded reality may be that careful planning, hard work and a modicum of luck all play a part in what happens.

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6 Writing

The image of the wedge-shaped cuneiform script carved in stone is accompanied by advice about the importance of writing in sharing experiences, ideas and culture with others if we are to have any lasting influence on what happens in the world. The ideas in this piece were often used in combination with ideas from other stimulus pieces, for example, 3, 8 or 13. Students mostly wrote expository or persuasive responses. Some discussed the importance of writing at a personal level. Others analysed reasons for writing for people in other places, now or in the future: to provide information; to share opinions; to discover meaning; to change something in the world; to provide entertainment.

7 Activity

The written text of this stimulus piece begins by pointing out the lasting benefits to be gained from being involved in a sport. However, it also suggests that there are other activities equally capable of providing the benefits of ‘passionate participation’. Although responses were mostly expository or persuasive, there were also reflective pieces and imaginative narratives that explored the ideas of the stimulus piece.

8 Story

This stimulus piece provides the starting point for students to write expository or persuasive responses in which they might discuss the importance to humans of stories and storytelling. It lists a range of possible mediums for storytelling. Some students took a historical approach, providing a chronology of the kinds of stories that have been told and written through the ages. They pointed out how stories from times past have lasted through the ages and have helped shape the stories of later times, in content or in style. They affirmed the continuing significance of stories in our societies, past, present and future.

9 Mathematics

The comment made in this stimulus piece focuses first on the importance of mathematics in applying a knowledge of number, space and time to scientific and technological problems and then on the significance of one’s early learning about things which, at the time, may have seemed mundane. Students who chose to respond to this piece were likely to combine its ideas with ideas from stimulus pieces 6, 10 or 11.

10 Tomorrow

The written statement in this stimulus piece can be applied broadly to society. However, the visual image suggests a more personal application. The piece allowed students with an interest in history to discuss the power of the past to influence the future. Some students speculated on the possible effects in the future of events of our own time. Others took a more personal view and commented on how much we are affected by incidents and influences in our early lives.

11 1788

The written text of this stimulus piece refers to the arrival of the First Fleet that brought convicts to New South Wales, the place that was to be a penal colony for Britain. Responses to this stimulus piece offered widely divergent views. Some writers were of the opinion that the arrival in 1788 represented an irresponsible and destructive invasion of a country that had a rich history and a unique culture. Others were of the opinion that the events of that time signified the beginning of a proud and influential nation. Most responses were expository or persuasive. Some students wrote fictional narratives about the effects of those events on individuals who were there, the original inhabitants of the country whose lives were changed irrevocably, the prisoners who had been cast out of the country of their birth or those who had been sent with them to this faraway land.

12 Childhood

This stimulus piece gave students the opportunity to write about early experiences that have the potential to create memories that may last a lifetime. It deals with the physical senses of smell, touch and sound and the

| Retrospective 2017 QCS Test

Page 7: 2017 Queensland Core Skills Test...1 Photograph This stimulus piece makes the point that a photograph can freeze and record a moment in time, allowing the viewer to contemplate something

power of memory. Students responded in personal reflections or in imaginative pieces. Some developed their responses by using this stimulus piece with stimulus piece 10 for ideas that would provide the starting point for expositions that dealt with the lasting power of childhood experience.

13 Beliefs

While the beliefs we hold may seem permanent and irrefutable to an individual or a society, many do change over time. In their responses some students considered some of the huge changes that have taken place over the centuries in our own society and in other cultures. Some examined the possible reasons for beliefs that once seemed unassailable. Some speculated on the reasons for beliefs and attitudes we now hold or on whether some of these will or won’t change in the future.

14 Unintended consequences

This stimulus piece presented an image of discarded plastic bottles and a comment about the destruction of the environment that we cause, often unwittingly, in our increasingly throwaway society. The issue of dealing with plastic that lasts too long is just one example of the dilemmas we face. Most students who responded to this suggested, in expositions or persuasive responses, that if we do not act more responsibly, the risk of causing lasting and perhaps irreversible damage to our world is grave.

Stimulus pieces: Visual, written or combination?Students have the option of responding to the visual images, the written texts, or a combination of both. This year, approximately 37% of students responded to both the visual and written material in the stimulus pieces. An additional 60% responded only to the written text in stimulus pieces and 3% responded to only the visual images. Stimulus pieces for the Writing Task are selected to maximise appeal for a wide cross-section of the Year 12 population. The material chosen is designed to engage students and to prompt ideas for their writing. When considering a stimulus piece (or pieces) and what to write, students should remember that, by the time they reach Year 12, they have a wealth of personal and subject-based knowledge and experience that they can draw upon.

When students use ideas from the written stimulus pieces, there is a danger that they may directly quote large portions of text. This will affect markers’ judgments of Length (words from the stimulus pieces are not counted) and the Central idea (if the ideas being presented are not the student’s own). Direct quoting can also detract from a response when the language style of the quoted material differs from the student’s style, or when quotations are used out of context or incorrectly (affecting Structuring & sequencing, Vocabulary, and Grammar, punctuation, spelling).

Choice of text typeStudent responses to the testpaper may be categorised, according to their purpose, into four major text types: expository, imaginative, persuasive and reflective.

In 2017, the most popular text type for students was the expository response, with 40% of students writing in this form. This was closely followed by imaginative pieces, written by 25% of students. Persuasive responses accounted for 18% of scripts and 17% of responses were reflective.

When determining which text type to use, students need to consider the ultimate purpose of their writing. Do they want to convey information (expository)? Do they wish to entertain their audience (imaginative)? Is it their intent to convince their audience of a particular viewpoint (persuasive)? Would they like to recall, contemplate or share experiences (reflective)? Understanding this can help students to plan effectively and give focus to their writing.

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Choice of genreWithin the broader categories of text type, students may write in whatever genre they wish, with the exception of poetry. This allows them to draw on their knowledge and strengths, and to match their ideas from the stimulus with a suitable style of response. They need to decide which genre will enable them to demonstrate their best writing. They should keep in mind that some genres, e.g. the speech and the essay, can have a variety of purposes such as exposition or persuasion. Also, when they choose a genre, they need to be sure they can control its conventions. A short story, for example, should cover a short span of time; a media article should have short paragraphs.

As shown in the diagram here, in 2017, the most popular genre was the essay, followed by the short story. Personal recounts, reflections and speeches were the next most popular. It is worth noting that, while genre conventions are not assessed specifically (although they may affect Structuring and sequencing), students should aim to make use of, and indeed exploit, these conventions for effect. Students should be encouraged to discover in which genres they write most confidently and competently. This should allow them to produce their best writing.

Essay

The definition of the essay is vague, as it is a genre required in many school subjects. Perhaps the simplest definition is that it is a piece of writing that usually expresses the author’s personal point of view. It will usually be expository or persuasive.

The essay was a popular choice. This is perhaps because essay writing lends itself to a range of different topics, is a writing style that students use across the majority of subject areas, and has elements that are similar to several other genres. The most successful of these responses were very clearly focused on purpose and audience and developed a clear thesis. Essays that were well written followed a clear structure, consisting of: an introduction (including a thesis statement); a body of writing (containing development and explanation of main points); and a concluding paragraph (presenting a summary).

Short story

The short story was one of the most popular genres and, not surprisingly, stories covered a wide variety of topics. The most successful were those that drew on students’ own knowledge and experiences and demonstrated effective language choices such as varied sentence length and use of description (including metaphor and personification). Also, successful stories tended to be written with a goal in mind from the outset — that is, there was an effective establishment and development of ideas, a clear resolution and a compelling conclusion. Students should be wary of some strategies that are likely to have a negative impact on achievement. An example is the story that ends with the narrator waking to find it was all a dream or one that is written in the first person with the narrator dying at the end. This is significant to the criteria of Central idea and Structuring & sequencing. Many such stories indicate a lack of planning and, consequently, a lack of direction. Other common problems can be inconsistencies and inaccuracies in using tense and narrative perspective.

critique 1%journal 1%

letter 2%

drama script 1%

report 1%

media article 5%

essay 39%

personalrecount/reflection

15%

speech 13%

short story 22%

Popularity of genre: total sample

Page 9: 2017 Queensland Core Skills Test...1 Photograph This stimulus piece makes the point that a photograph can freeze and record a moment in time, allowing the viewer to contemplate something

Speech

Speeches were mostly either informative or persuasive. Having a clear understanding of the purpose and audience of the speech is crucial for success. This means creating a context that establishes the speaker’s credentials and the audience’s potential interest. Students need to ensure that their topic is suitable for this genre; that is, it should be a topic that is not contrived and that would interest the intended audience.

Personal recount or reflection

Students may elect to write about themselves. They may produce a response that recounts or reviews a personal experience or a piece that reflects on their lives or their ideas. This genre is reminiscent of some blog entries. The popularity of this genre is not surprising.

Media article

This genre includes texts such as feature articles, editorials and journal articles. Usually expository in nature, media articles require students to have a reasonable knowledge of their topic. Therefore, students should carefully consider their own background knowledge and expertise when selecting this approach to respond to their chosen stimulus piece/s. They should also consider the conventions of the genre. For example, feature articles usually have shorter paragraphs than essays.

Drama script

Drama scripts made up only a small percentage of the responses. Students who write in this form need knowledge of the specific conventions of the genre, and need to be able to use them to effect.

Journal

Journal writing included texts such as a diary entry and were usually reflective in style. This genre is often difficult for students, because writing ‘as themselves’ may limit opportunities for selecting and demonstrating a wide or discriminating vocabulary. Also, they tend to lose focus in this kind of writing, which can affect the criteria of Central idea and Structuring & sequencing. If students do choose to write a diary, the entries should not be short, as the result can be a rather disjointed response. Paragraphs are still essential.

Letter

Letters may provide challenges in the criteria of Vocabulary and in Structuring & sequencing. To be successful, students should ensure that the purpose, and consequently, the content of the letter will be substantive enough to justify the choice of genre and to meet length requirements.

Report

A small percentage of students chose to write a report. Many of these were scientific, suggesting that students were aware of the genre best suited to their knowledge and experience. The genre conventions of a report should be used. Reports should make use of features such as subheadings as well as sections including, for example, objectives, conclusions and recommendations, to add to the authenticity of the writing and, consequently, to the authority of the writer. It would not be a good idea to write up a scientific experiment with just a list of materials and procedures. Rather, the writing should focus on a discussion of the findings.

Critique

Students who wrote in this genre chose to write reviews of stories in books or films that have had an impact on their lives.

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Achievement in specific criteria

In discussing specific criteria, reference is made to selected student responses that begin on page 69.

Central idea

When assessing this criterion, a marker is essentially asking what the response is about. That is, what is the student writing about and how well has the student deliberately and clearly developed this idea to reach an intended conclusion? The most successful responses will demonstrate direction — whether explicit or implicit — and resolution. Responses suffer in the criterion of Central idea when there is uneven development of the idea or when there are several, perhaps vague, ideas. A lack of resolution often results from lack of direction and consequently, this has a negative impact on success in this criterion.

Vocabulary

Success in Vocabulary is determined by word choices: words that have been selected deliberately for effect and that precisely fit their location within the text. While students should aim to demonstrate a knowledge and range of vocabulary, their discrimination in the selection and use of words is crucial. Incorrect or inappropriate word choice, lack of variety, and language that gets in the way of meaning will all influence a student’s success in this criterion. Sometimes, something as simple as using the wrong preposition can destroy meaning.

Trying too hard to use complex vocabulary can detract from a response. Many believe that ‘the bigger the word, the better’. However, this is not the case. It is never a good idea to sacrifice meaning for style. Making use of language devices such as metaphor and personification, as well as using ‘technical’ language suited to the context, proved to be very effective for many students. Less effective was the often jarring use of exaggeration and hyperbole, tautology and sweeping generalisations. Maintaining an awareness of the purpose and audience of the writing is essential for success in this criterion.

Responsiveness

The piece of writing that a student produces must clearly be a response to the testpaper on the day. It must show a connection to both the overall concept and the stimulus piece/s. Therefore, of all the criteria, Responsiveness is weighted most heavily. Achievement will suffer where the connection is weak, or where the student responds either to the concept or to the stimulus pieces, but not to both. Responses that achieve well in this criterion will exhibit a strong and sustained connection to both. It is important to be aware that simply repeating the concept, ‘what lasts’, several times is not demonstrating the criterion of Responsiveness. Evidence also suggests that responding to too many stimulus pieces reduces a student’s likelihood of achieving well in this criterion. This is because a piece of this kind is likely to make only passing or glancing reference to the concept or the stimulus pieces.

Students may benefit from a different approach in their planning. Rather than looking at the testpaper and asking, ‘What can I write about?’, it may be better to ask, ‘What do I know a lot about that I can relate to something on this testpaper?’

Grammar, punctuation, spelling

Within this criterion, grammar is considered to be more important than punctuation, which in turn, is more important than spelling. This is because each one of these can affect meaning more than the next. To achieve a high standard, students must consistently demonstrate precise and effective use of grammar, punctuation and spelling, with few errors. This includes exploiting the conventions of writing for specific purposes and effects. Student achievement in this criterion will be affected by the degree to which errors detract from meaning. Proofreading is vital.

Some of the most frequent problems were:• inconsistencies with tense• errors in antecedent agreement (particularly with singular, plural and indefinite pronouns)

| Retrospective 2017 QCS Test

Page 11: 2017 Queensland Core Skills Test...1 Photograph This stimulus piece makes the point that a photograph can freeze and record a moment in time, allowing the viewer to contemplate something

• omission or incorrect use of punctuation, e.g. failing to end questions with question marks or using apostrophes incorrectly

• incorrect choice of words that sound the same, e.g. there/their/they’re, to/too/two, whose/who’s, your/you’re

• incorrect use of ‘could of’ and ‘would of’ in place of ‘could have’ and ‘would have’.

Structuring & sequencing

This criterion requires markers to consider the architecture of the piece, that is, the way in which the ideas in the response are arranged. To be successful, the writing must demonstrate controlled structuring and deliberate sequencing of ideas. The writing needs to be fluent, logical and flexible. Achievement is hampered where there are obvious weaknesses, such as gaps in logic, poor paragraphing or randomness in the arrangement of ideas.

Some of the problems with Structuring & sequencing arise when students do not clearly establish the context of their writing and, consequently, the development of ideas is less sequential. Also, poor editing can have a negative impact, particularly when students include information that is superfluous to the purpose, thereby weakening the response. In short stories, this often results from including too much unnecessary description. Of course, what students can do to develop a well-structured response is to plan a clear strategy that is suited to their individual writing abilities.

Students should consider their choice of genre when thinking about the structure and sequence of their writing. They should decide whether their genre choice will allow them to develop an idea in a clear sequence. For example, writing a 600-word grocery list would be a very bad idea. Students need to consider and discuss what genres or forms will allow them to develop and demonstrate their best writing.

Length

This subtest requires students to produce a piece of continuous prose, approximately 600 words in length. Penalties are applied for too short, far too short, too long and far too long responses. While each criterion is considered and assessed independently, Length has the potential to have an impact on achievement in other criteria as well. In terms of overall performance, scripts that are far too short are the most likely to be among the lower achieving responses.

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Page 13: 2017 Queensland Core Skills Test...1 Photograph This stimulus piece makes the point that a photograph can freeze and record a moment in time, allowing the viewer to contemplate something

Selected student responsesThe responses that follow were selected from those that met the standards for successful writing as defined by the criteria and standards for judging student responses. These responses appear in their original handwritten form. They may contain some errors in expression but, for the sake of authenticity, they have been published as they were written. They may also include some factual inaccuracies; however, it is important to note that accuracy of subject matter is not one of the criteria by which the responses are judged.

With respect to handwriting, students should be aware that legibility is important. Markers will make a committed attempt to read poor handwriting but they cannot ignore errors due to missing letters or indecipherable writing. In schools, teachers may become familiar with a student’s handwriting and sometimes may be able to guess at meaning or spelling. Markers of these responses cannot do this.

The selection of the examples here does not indicate a preference for any particular form of writing; nor are the sentiments expressed in these responses endorsed by the QCAA.

Before publication, the QCAA attempted to establish, but cannot guarantee, the originality of the writing in the responses.

Response 1

The Precarious Path of Progress responds initially to stimulus piece 2, and begins with the stark warning, ‘We have gone too far’. This is a persuasive response, the writer pointing out that, despite the obvious benefits of many of our inventions, some of them have the potential to destroy us and we are behaving irresponsibly.

The central idea is clearly established: that much of what we call progress, far from improving our lives, has been destructive and dangerous. The development is deliberate and focused, with references to current threats of nuclear warfare, the damage being done to the environment as a result of human behaviour, and the fact that, despite massive developments in agriculture and food security, millions of people around the world are starving. Following each of the points established is a warning that we must change our behaviour. The writer then concedes that ‘not all progress has been negative’, citing examples of ‘progressive inventions’. The resolution of the central idea sums up the argument, that what makes progress good or bad depends upon human choices. The concluding paragraph makes a final and effective plea for responsible decision-making so that our lasting legacy will be a positive one.

Response 2

Collateral Damage, is an imaginative response to stimulus piece 2. Two young men, prepared to do their duty for their country, and eager for the challenges ahead, have signed up to fight in the First World War. Harry believes that, as long as he is with his friend Edward, he will be safe. In the trenches, they suffer the misery of cold and rain but they are together still. They are sent over the top, to face the enemy first-hand. Harry is overcome by terror as he confronts the hail of bullets that replaces the endless patter of the rain. Edward, who tries to pull him to safety, is suddenly and horribly shot down. Harry’s grief is terrible and made even more dreadful by the realisation that, for humanity, this kind of violence will last forever and that, for him, the image of his friend in death will also last forever.

The vocabulary is imaginative, controlled and very effective, demonstrating the use of words selected for their effect. They contribute to a writing style that is somewhat dense but never intrusive as it emulates the style of some of the writing of that era. Examples of effective images are the rain being described as ‘the slithering snake that sapped morale’ and later the men as ‘a colony of ants’, connecting with the idea that they are powerless pawns of their superiors. Other examples of words and phrases used in the right places are ‘thick, relentless, pervasive’ rain, ‘snapping him out of his bleak reverie’, ‘the foggy tendrils of sleep clouded his mind’, ‘gleaming barbed wire’, the bullets ‘furiously ploughing into the soft mud’, and a corpse that was ‘swathed in the colours of the enemy’. The discriminating selection and placement of vocabulary throughout this response is a clear example of a student using the right words in the right places.

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Page 14: 2017 Queensland Core Skills Test...1 Photograph This stimulus piece makes the point that a photograph can freeze and record a moment in time, allowing the viewer to contemplate something

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Response 3

Generations, a simple story, is an imaginative response to stimulus piece 1. On the morning of their grandfather’s funeral, Pip and Leo are bored and so, leaving their grieving parents downstairs, they climb up to the attic. They reflect on how little is left to remind them of their grandfather and they hope to find something interesting in their exploration of a place usually forbidden to them. The search is fruitless until Leo comes upon a photograph of their grandfather as a young man and they see how much Leo resembles him. This leads them, and Pip especially, to the realisation that as long as the photograph exists and Leo lives, their grandfather will be remembered and that Leo, in his turn, will be remembered.

The response provides a clear example of strong and sustained connectedness, both to the overall concept and to the stimulus material of the testpaper. It deals with the idea that a photograph provides an image of a fleeting but significant moment that can last as a record long into the future. The writer has woven this idea through the piece in a way that demonstrates sensitivity to nuances of meaning. The photograph becomes not just a temporary reminder of the grandfather but also a means of preserving his memory for generations to come, especially now that the children see Leo’s resemblance to him. Preparation for this is slow and gentle, through suggestions such as Leo’s ‘curly black hair’, the grandfather’s ‘dark curls’ and Pip’s sudden recognition of the ‘familiar twinkle in his eye’. There is no one alive any more who remembers what their grandfather looked like as a young man, but because of the photograph and Leo’s similarity to him, they know that his memory will last.

Response 4

A Global Legacy, an exposition that is a response to stimulus pieces 13 and 14, is a thoughtful discussion about the nature of the legacy that this generation will leave for the future. It establishes that the wellbeing of the environment is crucial to the continued survival of our species and comments that we are now dealing with the legacy left to us by previous generations. It offers hope in that we live in an enlightened era and so have the knowledge and resources available to deal with the issue. The writer tells us that we can act now or not at all. As the title suggests, we can choose the legacy we will leave for others. The final question leaves us in no doubt about the decision that we face.

The response is easy to read, clear and fluent. It consistently demonstrates a command of the conventions of writing. The fluid sentence structures give variety and depth to the writing and the grammar is accurate and precise, demonstrating a sound knowledge of the rules and how to apply them correctly. Errors are minor, e.g. ‘rising’, P2, para 2, line 22. A range of punctuation contributes to the success of the writing, with semicolons, colons, commas and apostrophes used correctly and at times, flexibly, e.g. P1, para 1, lines 18-23. Many words that can be difficult are spelled correctly, e.g. ‘heightened’, ‘environmental’, ‘recommendations’, exponentially’, ‘initiatives’, ‘perpetuated’.

Response 5

Interminable Tales uses stimulus piece 8 as its starting point for a discussion of the importance and endurance of stories past and present. The writer tells us that stories allow us to share and build on earlier understandings and that many old stories told again and again provide the foundation for those that come later. Connections are made with stories of more recent times. We are urged to respect and enjoy the richness of human storytelling and are assured that ours too will last into the future, ‘for as long as we still need stories’.

The response has a clear structure and simple, logical sequencing. The introduction of this exposition establishes the thesis: that storytelling is one of the greatest achievements of humans and continues to be important. Each paragraph that follows gives examples, in chronological order, from the epic poems and plays of the ancient Greeks and the works of the Romans, to novels of the last century. In each case, the writer emphasises the endurance of storytelling. The concluding paragraph brings the examples together with the final advice to respect, enjoy and continue this ‘unbroken continuum’. The simple structure is one of the strengths of this response.

| Retrospective 2017 QCS Test

Page 15: 2017 Queensland Core Skills Test...1 Photograph This stimulus piece makes the point that a photograph can freeze and record a moment in time, allowing the viewer to contemplate something

Response 1

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Page 16: 2017 Queensland Core Skills Test...1 Photograph This stimulus piece makes the point that a photograph can freeze and record a moment in time, allowing the viewer to contemplate something

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| Retrospective 2017 QCS Test
Page 17: 2017 Queensland Core Skills Test...1 Photograph This stimulus piece makes the point that a photograph can freeze and record a moment in time, allowing the viewer to contemplate something

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Page 18: 2017 Queensland Core Skills Test...1 Photograph This stimulus piece makes the point that a photograph can freeze and record a moment in time, allowing the viewer to contemplate something

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Response 2

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Page 19: 2017 Queensland Core Skills Test...1 Photograph This stimulus piece makes the point that a photograph can freeze and record a moment in time, allowing the viewer to contemplate something

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Page 20: 2017 Queensland Core Skills Test...1 Photograph This stimulus piece makes the point that a photograph can freeze and record a moment in time, allowing the viewer to contemplate something

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Page 21: 2017 Queensland Core Skills Test...1 Photograph This stimulus piece makes the point that a photograph can freeze and record a moment in time, allowing the viewer to contemplate something

Response 3

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Page 22: 2017 Queensland Core Skills Test...1 Photograph This stimulus piece makes the point that a photograph can freeze and record a moment in time, allowing the viewer to contemplate something

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Page 23: 2017 Queensland Core Skills Test...1 Photograph This stimulus piece makes the point that a photograph can freeze and record a moment in time, allowing the viewer to contemplate something

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Response 4

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Page 25: 2017 Queensland Core Skills Test...1 Photograph This stimulus piece makes the point that a photograph can freeze and record a moment in time, allowing the viewer to contemplate something

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Page 26: 2017 Queensland Core Skills Test...1 Photograph This stimulus piece makes the point that a photograph can freeze and record a moment in time, allowing the viewer to contemplate something

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Page 27: 2017 Queensland Core Skills Test...1 Photograph This stimulus piece makes the point that a photograph can freeze and record a moment in time, allowing the viewer to contemplate something

Response 5

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Page 28: 2017 Queensland Core Skills Test...1 Photograph This stimulus piece makes the point that a photograph can freeze and record a moment in time, allowing the viewer to contemplate something

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Page 29: 2017 Queensland Core Skills Test...1 Photograph This stimulus piece makes the point that a photograph can freeze and record a moment in time, allowing the viewer to contemplate something

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