Genuine Fatherhood

Every person needs the

affirmation from a

Father.

We need the blessings and the identity that come through having relationship with a Godly Father.

Every person needs to know

their identity of who they

are and who they will

become.

This comes from having a relationship of a Godly Father.

We acquire our identity

from our Fathers and

Grandfathers.

When we have a Father

we have identity – We

have a name.

We have someone to pattern our life by.

Through Fathers – we learn character and receive purpose in life.

Our destiny in life is

created through the

relationship we have with

our Father.

Our Life is shaped by many experiences we have with our Father.

God intended for earthly Fathers to be a representation of the heavenly Father.

Abraham had a relationship with Isaac his promised son. And, God chose him because of this Father –Son relationship.

So therefore Abraham’s son Isaac had a pattern for his life.

Isaac grew to maturity knowing his name and having identity.

If your Father was

ABSENT from your life

then you become scared

(dysfunctional) in your

formative years.

Without a Father – God’s ordained pattern for your life is disrupted.

For adult men out there - It

matters what kind of Father

you are and the kind of

relationship you have with your

heavenly Father.

Remember Adam’s son ?

By the time Adam had a son

he Fathered a child that was

just like him “in his own likeness” in a fallen state of

relationship with the Father.

Genesis 5.3

God intended for earthly

Fathers to be a

representation of the

heavenly Father.

Affirming our family in love

Leading our Family spiritually

Serving God wholeheartedly

The Bible shows us what kind of Father Joshua was….

But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.

This concept of FATHERHOOD is so embedded in Scripture that God said he chose Abraham for this very reason

so that he may command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord - Genesis 18:19 -

Remember the Prophet Samuel?

Here is what the Bible says about his Father – this was BEFORE Samuel was Born

1 Samuel 1.19

Elkanah and Hannah Then they arose early in the morning and worshiped before the Lord

Samuel's Father and Mother had a relationship with God and feared God.

Therefore they raised Samuel in the fear and admonition of

the Lord,

Now, getting back to Abraham's son Isaac.

Isaac laid hands on his son Jacob and blessed him before he died and imparted to him the Father’s Blessing thereby giving him identity.

Genesis 27.27

Let’s look at the identity he called forth out of his son.

May peoples serve you, And nations bow down to you; Be master of your brothers, And may your mother’s sons bow down to you. Cursed be those who curse you, And blessed be those who bless you.

Genesis 27:29

Jacob’s destiny extended beyond his earthly Father! God himself would put his hands on Jacob and Blessed Him!

Then God appeared to Jacob again, when he came from Padan Aram, and blessed him.

Genesis 35.9

And God said to him, “Your name is Jacob; your name shall not be called Jacob anymore, but Israel shall be your name.” So He called his name Israel.

Genesis 35.10

God the FATHER gave Jacob his Identity!

Now when Jacob was old he passed on that Blessing to his sons.

When Josephs heard his Father was sick he brought his son’s to him to lay hands on them and bless them.

Genesis 48:1

Now it came about after these things that Joseph was told, “Behold, your father is sick.” So he took his two sons Manasseh and Ephraim with him.

Genesis 48:1

Remember Men….Your Father and your Grandfather give you identity. That determines the path you take in life.

Brother John’s prayer.

I had the privilege of reading the private prayer diary of another brother in the Lord.

If you are a Father you have a son … then here is the kind of prayer you should be praying like brother John.

Brother John’s Prayer -

Lord Jesus – teach me to know who you are that I may learn who I am - and then I may be able to show my son who he is and who he is in God

AFTER you are Born of God, The Spirit of God needs to teach us who we are in CHRIST Before we can be anything to anyone else.

Not many many Fathers have a relationship with their heavenly Father and they are therefore estranged from God.

They are like the story of the prodigal who was estranged from his Father.

Fathers; FIRST need that RELATIONSHIP with their heavenly Father to affirm and Bless those of his own household.

Remember Jacob’s dream with the ladder set up from earth to heaven. God almighty appeared to him at the top of the ladder and spoke to him giving him a blessing of assurance.

Genesis 28.13 and Genesis 48.4

So what happens when you never received your Father’s Blessing?

Then people in the world define who you are.

Ungodly people try to give you identity.

The Bible warns us in Psalms 1 not to follow them and to advance in the world the way others do. You are NOT to identify with them.

So How do we as God’s people heal from the wounds and scars received from our dysfunctional and absent earthly Father’s?

Let’s begin by looking at what the Bible says about Fathers.

We need a picture/pattern of genuine Fatherhood to follow-

First we look at how the term Father is used in Scripture and then a pattern of a Father.

When the Bible first mentions “Father” in the Bible it speaks of a mature man.

The Bible (in Genesis) speaks about a man leaving his Father and Mother joining to his wife to become one.

Genesis 2.24

Implicit in the statement it refers to the man Having identity and prepared to be a

father in his own right being married and preparing to start

his own family.

The last time Father is mentioned in the Bible it is in the context of bearing and perpetuating the Fathers name.

It refers to the name the Father has bestowed on the son just like God gave Jacob a name.

Let’s look at the last time the term Father is used in Scripture.

Then I looked, and behold, the Lamb was standing on Mount Zion, and with Him one hundred and forty-four thousand, having His NAME and the NAME of His Father written on their foreheads.

Revelations 14.1

Revelations 14.1

having His name and the name of His Father written on their foreheads.

You Have YOUR Identity from the FATHER… the Father’s Name !

Spiritually we bear the name of our Heavenly Father and in the physical we bear the name of our earthly Father.

Luke 15.11-24

Now the pattern of a Genuine Fatherhood as expressed in the Bible

Then He said: A certain man had two sons.

V12 And the younger of them said to his father, ‘Father, give me the portion of goods that falls to me.’ So he divided to them his livelihood.

V13 not many days after, the younger son gathered all together, journeyed to a far country, and there wasted his possessions with prodigal living.

V14 But when he had spent all, there arose a severe famine in that land, and he began to be in want.

V15 Then he went and joined himself to a citizen of that country, and he sent him into his fields to feed swine.

V16 But when he came to himself, he said, How many of my father’s hired servants have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger!

V17 And he would gladly have filled his stomach with the pods that the swine ate, and no one gave him anything.

V18 I will arise and go to my father, and will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you,

V19 and I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Make me like one of your hired servants.

So he got up and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion for him, and ran and embraced him and kissed him.

Luke 15:20

Luke 15:20

Was moved with

compassion

Embraced him

Kissing him

again and again

V22 …the father said to his slaves, ‘Quickly bring out the best robe and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet;

Luke 15:22

and bring the fattened calf, kill it, and let us eat and celebrate; for this son of mine was dead and has come to life again;

Luke 15:23-24

he was lost and has been found. And they began to celebrate!

Luke 15:24

A father’s Joy!

Here is the heart of a genuine father tangibly Expressing….

A Fathers Compassion, A Fathers embrace, A Fathers Love, A Father’s joy!

So now you can see from Scripture - When you do not have a earthly Father that affirms you it scars you in so many ways.

Some people never recover from it and there are those who allow God to heal the wounds.

It all begins with the Father’s Love and to experience that we must have a RELATIONSHIP with Jesus Christ.

Have No doubt - You cannot give what you have not received.

To have the Spirit of God in your heart you must be humble and repentant.

God wants Father’s to CALL OUT the Son and Daughter in their home. To call them into maturity and to give them identity of who they are and who they will become!

Lord Jesus – teach me to know who you are that I may learn who I am - and then I may be able to show my son who he is and who he is in God

I prayed that prayer and here is how God answered my prayer and healed me from an abusive childhood.

An Example from my life of practical guidance after God healed me.

Calling Jessica into womanhood

When my daughter Jessica was 16 years old I took her to a premiere restaurant on Mt. Washington overlooking downtown Pittsburgh and the Three Rivers.

The following excerpts are from my discussions with her over dinner.

Jessica, since the day you were born, I knew the Lord had great plans for you. I have watched you grow into a beautiful woman inside and out. I love your heart. You display an amazing ability to have compassion for others that are hurting: You have a caring heart.

Not only are you beautiful but you have a peaceful spirit in you. You have a teachable spirit. God has given you a compassionate heart. Your heart is so tender that sometimes you become easily wounded. We are alike in that way. You give of what you have to others. You are also patient and kind. You have such a talent for music. You share the Love of Jesus with others around you.

I then read Excerpts from Proverbs 31 Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her; So he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil All the days of her life…..She extends her hand to the poor, Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy…..Strength and honor are her clothing; She shall rejoice in time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, Her children rise up and call her blessed; Her husband also, and he praises her… a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.

Presentation of the ring to Jessica

Jessica I am giving you this ring today before the Lord and this ring is a token of your commitment between you me and God that you will hold back your physical body from any boy until the day you give this ring to your husband at the altar. And on that day you would be prepared to present this ring to him and say: “this ring represents a covenant I made with my dad, that I would save myself until I got married and I have done so will you wear it?”

Final words to Jessica

Jessica from this point on, you are no longer a little girl; but a woman. You are to move into the next stage of your life. You will no longer live “for” my affirmation but “from” it.

However, I will always remember you as my little girl and how you and Kristen used to dance for me in the living room at Garlow drive. When you were young and I would take you with me, people would say: “what a beautiful little girl you have there.” It made me so proud to be your Father and even more so today.

An example…Practical Guidance

Blessing my own Father

Here is how God had me deal with my father who was abusive and dysfunctional.

BEFORE my Dad past away God showed me he needed the Father’s Blessing because he had an abusive Father in his life. While he lived in Texas at the time and I was in Strasburg Virginia and so I wrote the following letter to him.

Dear Dad, I have been thinking of you lately as God has put you on my heart to pray. I wanted to let you know that since I have become an adult and experienced life’s discouraging trials that I have discovered great strength, peace and solitude in Jesus Christ. His grace gives me hope and carries me through the difficult times.

I have also discovered that when the world offers me no hope my heavenly Father encourages me the most. It is my heavenly Father that I can turn to when everyone else has departed and the failures, disappointments and set-backs in life are glaring at me in the face.

So I was wondering if during your life whether you experienced those times when you wanted to quit but God’s Grace gave you the strength to endure? I was wondering that while being my Dad whom God gave me; whether you have any Wisdom and Encouragement to impart to me as a son?

I know in the Word of God it instructs me to know that though a righteous man falls He will not be utterly cast down (Psalms 37.24). Sometimes I don’t understand. It’s in those times I ask my heavenly Father for help.

Dad, my heavenly Father has taught me this: Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial. For when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life the Lord has promised to those who love him (James 1.12).

Dad, I want to say to you. Well done good and faithful dad. You have stayed the course and fought that good fight of faith. As my earthly Dad I want to say I love you and admire you. May God grant me the Grace that he gave you as my earthly Dad.

In closing, I want to say this to you Dad. I might have not started my life right. But, I do want to finish well. I want to run the race set before me and finish the course. I want to fight that good fight of faith so that when I have done all I can do to stand; I will continue to stand firm in Faith unwavering and un-yielding to doubt and unbelief.

And so Dad, May the Lord Bless YOU and Keep YOU. And may the Lord cause His face to shine upon YOU and be Gracious to YOU. And may the Lord lift up his countenance upon YOU and give YOU peace all the days of your life. I love YOU Dad Your son

When I wrote that letter I had no earthly reason to say these words to my Dad. But I did not know at the time all the shame he carried throughout the last 30 years of his life. The pressures of life must have been great upon him. And a son who is humble before his Father is healing to his Father’s soul!

God healed my Dad’s heart that day and RESTORED a relationship that the devil had stolen many years before.

Wont you let God heal those wounds today. The Spirit is willing.

Closing Prayer