UNIVERSITY OF WATERLOO STUDENT NEWSPAPER OCTOBER 1, 2004 VOL 27, NO 11 IMPRINT. UWATERLOO.CA

Professor proposes campus prohibition Andrew Dilts IMPRINT STAFF

In an opinion editorial printed in the September 2 edition of the Globe and "Hail, Uniyersity of \\'aterloo Prof. n Iohamed Elmasry called for a ban on alcohol on Canadian campuses, nota­bly during orientation and graduation­related eyents.

"Alcohol-related accidents, rape, as­sault, public disturbances and even death occur on campuses, especially during frosh weeks and at academic year-end, or graduation parties," Elmasry's message stated.

"It's our responsibility as adults and academic leaders to prevent the serious health risks and behavioural problems associated \'lith the misuse of alcohol."

Elmisty. It professor in L ",Vs de­panment of dec1l'ni aOO computer ~~redon~~dito- . da1inatCcent~~tl1~

"1 gonckphone calls from ParL-fl!s, saying rhank you very much forputting this in the public square for debate because the issue was not debated be­fore," said Elmasry, speaking about the response to his editorial piece.

"One parent told me that on frosh week, his young 18 year-old student got a package from the university. 'The uni­versity was proud that it has the best pub in the country, which is the wrong message to give to anybody."

Elmasry also received an e-mail of support from Henk Yan Andel, the current president of King's University College in Edmonton, Alberta. King's University College has been alcohol­free for 25 years.

"It does not stop students from

SIMONA CHERLER

Tyrell Worrall, Blake Edwards, Geston Mule, and Adam Morin enjoy a beverage atthe Bomber on the night of September 29. A recent editorial, written by UW Prof. Mohamed Elmasry, argued that drinking should be prohibited on all university campuses.

drinking off campus," notes Yan Andel in his message, referring to the ban, "but greatly improves the at­mosphere at student functions and in residence."

An active community member, Elmasry also serves as the president of the Canadian Islamic Congress, though he reports that his editorial came not

from that position but from his experience as "anacademicof30years." Wnen questioned as to whether or not he believes the University of Waterloo would ever ban alcohol on campus, Elmasry supported the ethical side of his statement.

"I think it will give the right mes­sage. If anybody really wanted desper-

at?ly to drink they can go off campus ... they would be spared from manipulation by big beer companies, offering subsidies and free pizza, etc.

"Taxpayer money and student fees would not be used to build an on campus bar. They can use it on much better facilities like expanding the li­braryor for other student activities on

campus." Prof. Elmasry has yet to receive an

official response from the University of\'{7aterloo concerning his editorial, but Impriflt spoke \V-ith some other members of the campus community on the issue.

See PROFESSOR, page 6

International Astronautical Congress to feature UW students Andrew Dilts IMPRINT STAFF

Second-year electrical engineering stu­dent Benjamin Sanders has found him­self in some good company recently. Next week, he will present a paper entitled "The Need for a Yersatile and Reusable Hypersonic Yehicle" as part of the International Astronautical Congress, a conference ofindusrry lead­ers in aerospace-related fields being held in Yancouver.

Sanders' paper calls for a radical shift in flight technology that he believes to be long overdue.

"The imminent replacement of the remaining NASA space shuttles and the recent retirement of the Concorde supersonic transport have left a large gap in the high-speed transportation

industry," said Sanders in an inteview with ImjJlillt last Tuesday.

"Even today's best commercial air­liners continue to grid-lock passengers at travel speeds which haven't changed in over 40 years. It is time to start pushing those boundaries."

Sanders' paper calls for the increase in use of''hypersonicvehicies,'' or those that would utilize technology that al­lows travel at five times the speed of sound. His presentation will be re­ceived by a panel of industry experts and could eventually be published.

It is important to note that Sanders is not alone at UW in his exploits to conquer the field of aerospace. 'The Waterloo Space Society's web page notes that 110 students signed up on the most recent Clubs Days alone. Imptint caught up \\-ith WSS past president and

co-founder Martha Lenio, who com­mented on the club's success.

"I am extremely excited about how the club has grown oyer the past few years," noted Lenio. "I feel we really have created a place on campus where students interested in space and aero­space can meet with similarly moti­vated people to achieve their goals."

Lenio and two other past presi­dents of \\'SS will be traveling \\-ith Sanders to Yancouver, presenting a paper on space education in the univer­sity community.

"Our presence at the lAC puts us in contact \\-ith more high-level projects that we can work on, more speakers to bring back to LTW and opens our eyes to more opportunities in aerospace that we may have been in ignorance of earlier," noted Lenio.

Sanders is currently the president of the Waterloo Space Society, the U\\' club formerly known as Snidents for the Exploration and Development of Space (SEDS). He has spent a co-op term working at MD Robotics, the company responsible for building the Canadarm, and spent time earlier this year as alead organizer for the Canadian Student Summit on Aerospace at U\\'. Not surprisingly, his goal is to some­day become an astronaut.

"With the X-Prize opening an in­creasing number of doors to space trave!,I think we'll see a greater number of people reach orbit, and I am going to do everything I can to prepare myself for that opportunity."

Indeed, Sanders noted that becom­ing an astronaut has been a dream of his for quite some time. \,{'hen asked

what inspired him to delve into the aerospace field, Sanders cited events from a SLX -week long trip spent canoe­ing around the wilderness in northern Ontario.

"I spent almost every night glued to the sky and the sight was so brilliant that I could almost imagine myself there," noted Sanders.

Sanders explained that he would have had much difficulty being where he is now without some serious sup­port. RIM, i\ID Robotics, the Cana­dian Space Agency (CSA) and UW's dean of electrical engineering haye all helped to finance Sanders' participa­tion in the lAC, \V-ith the CSA also footing the bill for Lenio and the team of past presidents to participate in the conference.

adilts@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

2

What do. alU8ll-1o hel. students gld'through Ihre'e­hoop, night"classes? by Julian Aponu and Dan Mlcak

IllAtsQf snacks." Michelle Nadeau 2A pre-health/pre-optometry

"Speed?" Steve Kelton 2A science

"A half-quarter of ganja." Steve Palmateer 3A environmental science

"Pillows." Alex Lekawski 2A arts

''We go for$3.5ppi,ntSof , Keith's at 'i::htfBornber'during the break." Mike Jefferson ang ~teve Balaban 4A math and busin~!lsand 4A math ,_

and business

"Get rid of them." Jay Park 2A pre-health/pre-optometry

"Don't go!" Krista Schurter 2A kinesiology

'I'~/I'''I) R:,j' N 'r . 11, .J. ' '

CROSSWORD Across 1. Wanna hear a secret? 5. Your ownidentil:y 9.0akfruit 14. Short faugh 15. Seed cover 16. Deal in stolen property 17. Homer's Ocfyss~' 18. Chief ingredient in urine 19. Drink with ice cream 20. Council of employers and em­ployees '

23. A person who rests 24. Tacticalmissle 28. Married woman's title 29. Sixties' psychedelic drug 31. Grain tower'

,'·32. Usual condition of sailors 35. sroan shreds

FRIDAY, OCTOBER i; 2004

61. A personal vieW 26. The upper crust

37. National rail line 38: Laminated circuits 41. Babe with trotters 42~ Sexual liaison 43. Coastal recess

62. Prominent orthodox Islamic branch

27. A drink to your health 29. A temporary physician

, 44. Tibetan pliest 63. And everyone else 30. l\fix the pot

46; Shade trets lost,to Dutch disease . 4].Orte Swiss mQuntain

64. Epochs 65. Feel

32. Gwyneth Paltrow's baby 33. Judicial examination

48. Fire beetle genirs 66. Roses, Korean and Vietnam 34. In summation, the Greek letter

50. Join the military 53. Tells you to sharpen up or flatten,

67. Headingfor first b~e ,Pown

35. Was Kalan Porter yours? 36. English bluebells

out 1. Relieved exclamation' 39. Mineral used on fine sand paper

57. Famed oll-well saviour 60. Roman attire

,2. Scientific name for savour 40. Notgaining sympathy 45. Anti-carb diet . ",.J., English coUnty.

4. Principal tenents' 5. White wine, alfredo and marinara

"47. ChrQhologicalrecords 49:C~py

'6. Mi.Stake 50. Moth species without mouthparts 51. Worker Hindu caste

ve~~et.Lble soup

56. Work in slowly 57. 'Pohlpous fool 58. Owed 59. SLC manager (ask a Turnkey)

nmoogksoulis@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

SerieDa Wonud_lIIelll8me: All ExD.:live In TeXIs ------------------~--~

WORD JUMBLE f (COUll1l'yliii .nus '. part 1 of 3) -I've Got The Hungries For Your Love And I'm Waiting In Your Line.

F EoW REA L

____ Our Kids Are So Ugly.

3. You Were Only A As I Slid Down The Of Life.

PLSTIREN / STAINERB

4. Get Off the Table, Mabel (The Two is for the Beer)

SALLORD

5. When You Wrapped My Lunch in a Road Map, I Knew You Meant __ _

EDOBOGY

6, _. Arms, Heart. C L O,V E R / ° N L EFT

7.- Mama Get The :; '. . .• (There'S A Ply On Papa's I-I~ad).

RHEMAM

8. I'd Rather Pass a ~_-,--than Another Night With You

DINKEY/NOSET

F~nal Song Tide

I'd Rather Have A Bottle In Front Of Me Than A ~ ____ _

FRIDAY. OCTOBER 1, 2004

EWS news@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Coffee ... ... you may'e late lor classl -paae 5

.How to walksafely~nCambtidge Walksafe rejected, buddy' system to be initiated

Durshan Ganthan IMPRINT STAFF

UW students who leave campus late at night . need not fear for their safety as they can use either Walksafe or Ridesafe to arrive home unharmed; sadly, this i~ not the case at UW's, school of architecture in Cambridge, which has roughly 250 enrolled students so far.

"They potentially leave campus at 10 or 11 at night, and walking home ... whether you're with a buddy or by yourself, can be threaten­ing," said Becky W roe, presidentofUW's Fed­eratiol1 of Students. "The area of Cambridge that they're in, although beautiful during the day, has some interesting night life."

Al MacKenzie, director of Police Services, explains that they are lo~king into what can be done in Cambridge to help with security, as they currently operate the maw campus Walksafe/Ridesafe service.

"It's hard to do Walksafe [in Cam­bridge) because ,';e would have to use archi-tecture~~~-e~ :\facKcnzie. «I' dOJ:n~t think the location has the numbers to sustain the program."

Although Walksafe won't work, the issue of security is still a big con­cern.

"It's an issue that needs to be dealt with as soon as possi­ble," Wroe said. "Obviously fi­nancingis a big deal. Police Services and the school of atchitecture have worked togetherto figure ot;lt what can be done in the shortr~n."

The short-run solutionis a buddy­up system. This system entails having students make arrangements to meet up

and walk h~me together, as many of them live in the same aJ;e~ off-campus and some live in the Same houses. ''We would help them if they w:anted help," says MacKenzie of the buddy­up system, "but it would be best for the students to do it themselves."

The buddy-up system, though, is not a perfect solution. When questioned about the . ,

solution, Wroe answered, "It's better than walking alone. . "It's a short-term solution to a problem; it's not a solution [by] any means, butit atleast makes the situation a little better."

In addition to the lack of Walksafe, the school of atchitedureaIso lacks a security guatd. Alt40ugh a room was built for the guard, it is currently unoccupied.

"The plan was to have a' security guatd there at

oJ:?e point or another," MacKenzie notes; however, they currently lack the funding to pay for the guard. When asked when students coul? expect to see a guard on campus, MacKenzi"e answered, ''We're working on it." . In order to help ke~p the building.gecure,

it is currently locked after hours. All architec­ture students have keys to the building, though, should they need to do work on campus after the building is locked.

. Overall, MacKenzie expressed a positive outlook about the school of atchitecture and how'students are responding to concerns.

"Architecture students are in a new Quild­ing, in a new ar~a," he pointed out, "It~ill take time to know the a!ea, but once they get used to it and learn the buddy system, things should be fine."

dganthan@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

JULIAN APONG

Aboriginal powwow a huge success Kate Cook SPECIAL TO IMPRINT

On Saturday, September 25, the first annual University of Waterloo powwow was held on .the lawn of St. Paul's United College.

'The reaso~ for the powwow is to help create a sense of community for the Aboriginal students and in celebration of the Fitst Nations cultute," said Jean Becker, a UW professor, Aboriginal counsellor and one of the organizers of event.

The exact number of Aboriginal students at U\V is not known, but Becker estimates the number to be between 150 and 300. In a school of 24,000, Becker says it's e~sy to go through. four yeats and not meet another Aboriginal.

Melissa Ireland, a third year rhetoric and professional writing studen~ and member of the Aboriginal Students Association, also

. helped plan the pO\vwow. "So many people think [Aboriginal students] are not h.ere, butwe

are, and the powwow was a great way to get the meSsage across because powwows ate gatherings that are open to everyone and a place to meet new people." .

According to the Aboriginal Students Asso­ciation web site, the club celebrates Aboriginal heritage, and is also open to the students of

. Wilfrid Laurier University because they don't have their own association.

''We want t~ put a face on'the unknown,"· Ireland said. ''We want to show that Aboriginals are in contemporary society."

The theme of this yeat's powwow:vas "Hon­ouring Our Future Leaders." It was chosen becailse, "In the Aboriginal cultures children are really important. We wanted to pick a theme that showed how imp~rtant they are to us and ac­knowledge their accomplishment of going to school," Becker explained.

, The powwow was also open to the public. Matgaret Clilrk, a second year political scien~e

student and non-native, took advantage of this. "I liked how open it was. Watching the ceremo­nies, it didn't feel like, this was som~thing I wasn't supposed to witness or be a part of. Itwas a, 'Hi, how are you? Let me tell you who I am' sortofoccasion."

. A group that played an important part in organizing the powwow was SUNDANCe, a body consisting' of staff, students, faculty and community representatives from the area of Waterloo, Laurier and Guelph. The group formed around 1996 to raise Aborigifial aware~ ness in the community and hold traditional native events; it also has a bursary fund.

The pO'W'Wow featured dancing, drumming, traditional food and attisan booths, as well as a silent auction with all proceeds going to the SUNDANCe Aboriginal bursary fund.

For more information about the Aboriginal Students Association visit their web site at www.asa.uwaterloo.ca.

!II; it .

........ ...- _ ..

I ..... , .

Mark Stratford IMPRINT STAFF

. Universities/Colleges

A shoe thief at Ryerson struck again twice last week, both times stealing a female students' shoes from und~r their feet as she studied. Security received two separate reports from women, neither of whom had thei:tfshoes physi­cally on their feet'atthe time of dle theft. Security

,is asking women using the library at night to hold on to their shoes and be vigilant of anyman sneaking away with a pair of pumps.

Canada.

A new report from Statistics Canada shows that Canadian men continue to slowly catch up to Can,!ldian women in terms ofHfe ex­pectancy. The life expectancy of males now stands at 77.2 yeats (up 5.8 years since 1979}, closer than ever to that of Canadian females, which since 2002 has remained at 82.1 yeats (up '3.3 yeats since 1979). Sadly, the report also finds that the infant mortality rate has increased to an', average of 5.4 deaths for every 1,000 live births since 2OO2,reachinga high of7.3 deaths per 1,000 fonhepm'dnceof Alberta..

0r;tario Energy ·lVfinister Duncan , Ii

soon increase due to rising oin prices. Crude oil hit a record price of over S50 C S per barrel during trading on Tuesday, much to the chagrin of financial analysts already stressed over the bedlam in the Middle East and the recent drop in American production caused by hurri­canes. "The bottom-line is that I cannot shield consumers from these prices," Duncan said at a Liberal caucus retreat in Guelph, adding that the most the /S?vernment can do.is help consumers conserve more energy.

hlternational

UK Prime MinistetTony Blair'srecentsign­ing of a bill that oudaws the British tradition offox hunting became the tatgetof some very peculiatprotests on Tuesday. About 8,000 pro­hunt demonstrators gathered ,outside Blair's

, Labour Party coriferencein the town ofBrighton, where they dumped the bodies of two dead calves and a dead hors~ on the ground,blew horns, wove signs and chanted such slogans as "Fight Prejudice, Fight the Ban" and "Fox-Off Blair." Also, several women in black bikinis removed their tops and jumped into the Eng­lish Channel to join the "Surfers 4 Hunting" team. Hundreds of police were dispatched to break up a .quarrel between those who feel fox hunting should be maintained as a. part of British heritage and those who feel it is inhu-

, ®

mane.

, First he calls opponents "girlie men," then he

signs a bill banning necrophilia. The next hard­hittirlg social issue on California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger's agenda? A new bill banning tobacco use in state prisons and youth correctional facilities. A Republican assemblyman supported the bill, citing that half of California prisoners smoke and the develop­ment will cut health care costs.

mstratford@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

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I'1\[lI)IJI"NI rrr 'N,TE' j\~ 1 S ill. , \; J,., .,' 1, "" '\ k. FRIDAY, OCTOBER 1; 2004

The week without news·

Neal Moogk-Soulis THIS IS YOUR WOIlI Tl:Us has officW1y been the week with­out news for most university stu­dents. Yes,therewas the release of the

anything else? We're already Stressed Qut enQugn!

,~ther you're a class-hQPping stuif~nt Qr a CO'-QPstudent jumping betwe,en ·meetings and delivetables, yO'U will find yO'urself with little time for, We news. This habit has become a gl8bal trend.

Sin~e people dO'n't have the'time fotl~ngthy news tidbits, news O'rgani­zatidi$; have attempted to adapt to thed'eed, News brQadcasts'have b~-

city's huusing study (remember that?), CQme a,'pantheon Qf images simulta7 more parkit:lg spa<;es Were Qpened ' .. ne<:i~shiftingtQbettercaptureYQur , arQund campus and, fQr anyone whO' attention and keep you frQm flipping will listen, th~'Perimeter Institute is, the channel. The news becQmes a O'pening its dQO'rs this weekend. IO'QP:- same players,different day.

But Qna natiQnal and interna- It's nQwQndersignHkantPQrtiQns of tiQnal level, what really happened? ,peQple get their news from late night There were the usualcO'nflicts in Israel shows. At least that news ,is funny. and Iraq, the sUn still rO'se in the east With a glO'bal ne,Ws system like . and set in ·thewest. Really, nQthing that, I,can't say I'm surprised at the new'happened; at least, nQt that I've fact that there are very few stQries that heard. Why is that? hit the mainstream and stick there.

On the student frQnt, schQQI has ltaqandlsraelarecO'nstantsand all started to' mean business. Suddenly, Qther stO'ries are merely trappings. OctQber, Qr fO'r that matter N Qvem- , WQuldn't it be nice to' have Qne week ber, is nQt as far away as it used to' be. gO' by without either O'f those areas Assignments, l~b reports and essay making the news? Surely sO'mething proposals have started to flow. positivemustbehappeningouttht!re. Midterms, we realize, are arQund the Briefly, Sudan did make it into the comer.

Those with a fewminutes tQspare, P

have' been busy padding resumes, hQping fQr key CQ-OP jobs. With a life like that, who has time to care about

news. Cynics might suggest that,the American government pushed it to thefore when the president needed to lO'Qk presidential on a world scale. Sa91y, it quickly fell frO'm view.

With the exception of an 11-year peace that lasted until 1983, Sudan has been wracked bywarand cO'nflict for all of its independent years. Sudan even has the luck of having a significant numbe~ Qf oil reserves that, fQllQwing

. the cynic's viewpQint, shO'uld guaran­tee it the spotlight O'f the world., . The divided and conquered nature

of the cO'untry has made it easy fQr Qil , to' be tapped without raising the ire of

cQuntries wO'rldwide.'What ish that makes this crucially important regiO'n virtuallyunheard-ofin themainstream media?

Rather than sendingaidO'r trying to' bringpeacetb the regiQn; worldgov­etnments - including, unfortu­nately, the government of Canada­have done little but make rhetQrical statements and then send fact-finding missiQns to' the area:

A lot of peQple can die in the time that it' takes to draft a report. Just ask Romeo Dallaire!

While on one hand, thewQrld seems to' be coalescingintO' aglQbal capitalism utQpia, Qn the other han9 it has quickly fractured intO' a myriad O'f conflicts.

There are over 20 armed conflicts in the WO'rld and likely hundreds O'f other resistances. Sadly, in this WQrld, if it can't be pigeonholed: it's left on the cutting roQm floor.

nmoogksoulis@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Feds ~,''''' -. ",,~ ~,,'.:,":\ ' w""~,vv«~f:.1' .',>-

"meetings" questtoneo Na afficialFeds meetings held far fivemanths

Mark Johnson IMPRINT STAFF

It m~y CQme as a surprise to' students, but the BO'arei O'fDirectO'rs Qf the Uni­versity Qf WaterlQo's Federation of Students ~which has been in Qffice for fi~e months'- has never held an Qfficial meeting!

. The bQard of directors is comprised Qf four executive members, five non­executive members and the general manager'O'f the cQrpQration, whO' 'dQes ' not have voting privileges.

The Fedsexecincludes BeckyWroe (p;esident),J effHenty (vice president educatiQn), RaveelAfzaal (vicepresi­dent admin and finance), and John Anderson (vice presidentintemal).

The non-executive members are Laura Cumming (applied health sci­ences), Jonathan Hart (arts), Steven Hayle (arts), Paul Lehmann (arts) and ~fichelle ZakrisQn (envirQnmental

, studies). , With different executive members '

.coming from engineering, math and science, there ate ~tudents from all faculties on the Feds board. The grO'UP has been representing students since rpe beginning of May. The members were elected on February 13, 2004.

But why, students are asking their leaders, have they never held an official meeting?

President Becky Wroe dQes nQt see it as a problem. ''We have had three unofficial (where minutes were nO't

. taken) meetings of the boar~," she pointed out. "The summer was quite

a difficult time tQget 'al! members Qf the board tQgether simultaneQusly,

'.'AnrmajQrdiscUssiQn that had to' be had over the CQurse Qfthe summer­was made by .ecm~" WrQe cO'ntin­ued. "The grQUP communicates very wellufthis way, and althqugli: [it can't

, . cQmpare] to ameetinginpersQn,an e­mail fQrum.is. a gOQd substitute to'

, have all members involved."

"The summer was quite a diffi~ult time to get an

members of the board together

simultan.eously." - Becky Wroe, Federation

of Students president

The Feds executive describes t'he wQrk it has been doing, such as re­viewing membership in the Canadian Alliance Qf Student AssQciations (CASA). The exec has, also been ac­tivdy helping the architecture students in their O'ngoing transitiont? their new campus and representing their neeps to UW departments. '

Wroe alsO' PQinted out that the executive managed to' get the Feds budget approved in August, whereas the executive of2003-04, led by Presi­dent Chris Edey, didn't have its budget

apprO'ved until NO'vember. Wroe said she's kept quite busy

as Feds president. "I frequently have , p,eQple dropping intO' my office to' discuss troubles with Feds .organi­zatiQns, proPQsals from outside cO'mpanies and areas where they feel the student bQdy needs to' concen­trate."

Feds had many O'ther issues.on the table Qver the summer mQnths, in­cluding negQtiatiQns with PO'ssible CQntractors and UW surroundingspace renO'vatiQns.

''ThQse are the majQr hurdles we've 'jumped this suminer," Wroe said.

The Feds executive, althQugh it held nO' Qfficialmeetings last term, has a busy agenda this fall. The exec plttns to' cO'ntinue the Feds' invO'lvement in the OntariO' Undergrad~ate Student Alliance (OUSA) and CASA, prQvide further SUPPQrt to' architecture stu­dents, plan events for all ages .at Fed­eration Hall 'and wQrk in the crucial area Qf student housing.

Feds also hQpes to' re-open negQ­tiatiQns with . Kitchener-WaterIQo's Grand RiverTransitcQncemingsQme SQrt Qf refundable or more affordable bus pass Qptions.

. The first O'fficial meeting Qf the f:'eds Board ofDirectO'rs is scheduled fQr the week after ThanKsgiving, ~hen they will discuss IQng-tel;1ll planning,

, a request from a Feds Qrganization, and have a general discussiO'n of the gO'ings-O'n QfFeds.

mjohnson@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

FRIDAY. OCTOBER 1, 2004

Mic~elle Lazette and Jana-Leigh Millar, both in 1A Social Development studies, enjoy ·coffee at Timmy's.

Line-ups jam new Tim Hortons Mark Stratford IMPRINT STAFF

The new 24-hourTim Hortons in the SLC has been up and running for almost a trlPnth now and is an unprec­ede~ted hit ... perhaps overly so. .

. While complaints about the qual­ity of the employees, the food or that precio:us, precious Timmy Ho's coffee are virtually non-existent, some stu­dents are concerned with the length of lineup!> during peak houts, 'smch of­ten lead right into the front door­wayan'd long lines call1singrrlOfC! I:rnro!lrvelliaoce than we bargained forwh<.'11 construc­tion. ftrst began?

Not at all, according to Linda Wilhelm, the design~tedgroup leader for afternoon through evening shifts at the SLC Timmy's. She suggests that there is no signiftcant problem with long lines because of the skill of the

employees and the operation of all tills during peak hours.

"We get a lot of support from the students," said Wilhelm. ''We work very efftciently to serve all the.custom­ers very professionally. They can see we are working hard to serve them, so'

, they don't have to wait in line so long."

mealtime-rushes, the wait for a cup 0'

joe is typical of an}'Timmy's location. Perhaps even quicker, as fourth year

'bio student Adam Houben described his late night order as "the fastest coffee I've ever seen.~'

Rather" the problem seems to be those lunchtime rushes, when alengthy line could cause harm to a student's .strict schedule.

"How to get your coffee? Simple! Just sho'\.\· up late for class!" quipped one student who askt."tl not ro he

When asked if there are any con-. cerns with lines being unrea,s()nably long at times (such as din~erthne, which is right around ,,--hen students are scrambling to reach their night classes) that the Titrupy's __ "'aN"~~~~". quality an(~l.!211ri~ were trained through l'~' Food Set'\"­

ices well in advance of opening day. "The managerwill..seethe line-up

getting really, really long and so we have more people on the cash, in the kitchen, in the dining room," .

The consensus seems to be that during the slow periods between

'~';11"

business student ;\bnhew l..eBlond. "But overall it's pretty decent."

Hopefully a "decent" wait for the impressive food and service will im­prov~ as thy SLC Tim Hortonscontin~ ues to work out the. bugs.

mstratford@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Big Macs as economic indicators

I lasha Gutfraind . fOREIGN MATTERS The movie SupersizeMewas a charac­ter assassination .0fBig Macs. Those beefy burgers might he unhealthy for human consumption, but they are very good for people imerested in economics.

We all travel to other countries every so often. Usually, such travel means worrying about one foreign currency or several. Imagine yourself, somewhere in Europe, hungry and tired. You are in an expensiveitour­istyarea. Everyrestaurant you check appears less and less student-priced: But then you ftnd YDur saviour .,--­McDonald's! '

Yet, happiness turns to disap: pointment- those Big Macs and large fries are tpere, but they are far'

, more expensive than at home! It is a fact that many things are .

priced differently' among different

countries. It makes sense that maple syrup would be cheaper in Canada. Yet, why would Big Macs with large fries be differently priced? After all, theY'llre made according to the same recipe and use the same ingredients in almost 120 countries!

, One explanation for this discrep­ancy is unreasonable exchange rates. I t is the policy of many nations (e.g. China, Japan) to maintain aJ;l artift- ' cial~y low exchange rate. This helps the exportindustries groW-at the cost of reducing the standard of living.

Costs in different 'countries are also affected by' productivity and wages. Wages ara lower in developing

.' countries and hence many goods are cheaper to make. ,

In 1986, The Economistintroduced a tasty way of analyzing exchange rates - the Big Mac Index. This index compares the price of Big Macs in various countries. The idea of the Big Mac Index is that Big Macs should cost about the same everY'Yhere.

Currently, the burger cdsts $2.90 in the U.S. The loonie is worth $0.78 USD, implying th~t the calorie bomb shoiJld' cost 3.70 l<;lonies here in Canada. Ifit doesn't, then something

coul~ be wrong with the exchange rates.

Every ye;r since 1986, the Theory ofBurgeromics has been subjected to intense study. And as you might expect, it has been proven well-done. In faCt, several large fmancial compa­nies went hust because they did not follow its tasty advice. '

Currently, the index states that the loonie is undervalued while the euro is overvalued. Scandinavian countries and Switzerland have grossl)' expen~. sive burgers. In contrast, most devel­oped countries have really cheap cur­rencies -'-in China it costs about one half the American price.·

Emboldened by this initial effort, The Economist has introduced a more fashionable measure of curren~y ex­change rates - the Tall Lane index. However, this delicious product of Starbucks is only available in about 30 co).mtries. Whether this new index will go over well with economists is uncertain.

Most will probably stick with the older and juicier Big 1Iac index. Burg­ers are not all bad, you know.

sgutfraind@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

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6 FRIDAY, OCTOBER 1, 2004 ,

OUSAgets busy Co-op-deserves more credit Chantel Williams secondary instituti'<:ms. Ontario pro-SPECIAL TO IM~~H:'JT . . vides the lowest atnoiltlt of funding

at $6,018 per ~tudent~1:'h~ highest-TheOutario U ndergradu~te Student " ranking provins:e iii tetrns of student Alliance (OUSfi) has begun its new funding is N ewfoundllUl'tl, at $9,569 . campaign, entitled "A Bright F1Jture per student. OUSAiscalling for On- , Depends,on HigherEducation.'~ tario's publi~fundlngi:obe increased

OUSA is an' assembly of peer- to the national average, which stands elected student councils from all over at $8,279 per studeti"t. Ontario. Its:,objective is ' , ,QUSAis.a!soIQbby-Jo'impr9ve the qrtalitx of' hlgfor:the re-re~tion posHecondary ,educa- oftuiti<>.n; over the past 'tion that undergraclua!e ,.' Ontario Jen ye~sthere has been

studentsarereceivingin ' pro.",d .... e~ the . 'a261per<:enttt:~in Ontario. The' alliancetuitio:qin Ontftl.o. In seeks to accompli~hits: IOyvest,:2000;bntario'students

goalthro~gh,gb\Tem ~ afflOl.1l1t of phld fo£42 per ~ent of ment19bbymg;.gevelop: ,thtiirschooling com-mental .re~~~t~,h 'and·· lundi",g at Pitedto the 33.5 per

aw~nessCarilpaighs"$8,Qi8pet ~ent:thatthere~tofthe .T. he." ,". B.' .ri.,j,t ·,f, •... ,."uture ,>,., .. ,' students,' in . Ca,nada

~h!fw~major stuclent.· . paid. goais;Firspt~ks to i' " • , ... ,~' Spen~e argues that engagethe'1>t:Udenfpopulation o:ri the ", it;s also in Ontario'S best interest to issuesthatarecurientlpiffectingthl';i.r raise the am~~tof furiding fcrour ' standards of education. The execptive, cOlleges andutriv~Riti~s;;'Forevery director of OUSA, Adam Spence, S2 billion the go~etnment inyests in' stresses, "Thenior~ studentsi:hatget posr-secoriclil:y'educatton, they will involved, the Qetterourchances irea!' receive Ian inflow ot!. $3.2 billion.'.'

. makingadifference." ,.'. This means that the gov'ern~ent He urgesst;udentsto participate 'stands to m~a()O pet ceht profit;

with the campaign and share their' when itinvestsirl.posHecbndary edu-ideas through their interactive web cation.,:r.;· '

~ite ap.d their oWn student council. . OUSA is currehtly touring cam-Jeff Henry, Feds vice presideot puses a,cross amana .to promote its

education,agreeswithSpehcethatthe campaign to stUdents. The Federa-

students need to get involved or,.J!<:n~ ~f St~;d~~ts W!lbe hpsu.ns:!h~ "turned op.,:' .....,., ' ' .. exe<,:Utives of tt,e canlpaign onMon-

«It's pivotal ... [the c;;~;;r~] has ¥ day, <9ctober 4~'A booth with volun-to work," he said. 'reers 6;bm the campaign ~ be, 10-

Second, th~ Bright Future cam~ cated in the SLC where students will paign will·16bbythe government to be able to ask:general questions and adopt specific changes. Their main give 'their su~stions. For more in-concemis the relatively lowamountof formation on ODSA's Bright Future publicfundingthattheprovincialgov- campaign, please. log on to ernmentpr~vides for Ontario's post- www.abrightfuture.ca.

Siobhan Watters and Christine Loureiro

• IMPRINT INTERN/IMPRINT STAFF

United Way puts it .into drive Kitchener-Waterloo's annual

United Way camprugnis readrto start up again, running from October 1 to Octbber29, ThJ.s year the target amount is $165,000.

MOhey donated to United, Way goes,towards programs that address and strengthen K-W's social, educa­tional,a,nd h.ealth care systems. These include ROOF (Reaching Our Out­door Friends), a program that tracks down and rehabilitates street kids; the

• Credit Counselling Program, which helps families organize their finances and avoid financial chaos; and RAISE Home Support for the Elderly, which helps sepiors cope with postoperative difficulties.

The United Way campaign is al­ways a high-pro(tle charity event at OW, its progress being documented around campus using large thermom­eters on buildingwalls. Last year United Way raised over $5.3 million forvari: ous charitable causes.

Visit unitedway.uwaterloo.ca for more information, including ways you can donate money orvoiqAteer serv­ices, as well as a list of programs through which a donation of.only $2 a week canmake a significant difference in the community.

" Tax credits for co-op employers

, uW is calling for a larger amount . .

of tax c.redtt for co.op employers. A

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preliminary brief submitted by U\V to former Ontario premier Bob Rae's review of post-secondary education suggests thattheproposed $1 ,SOD per

, term tax credit offered to employers be raised to $2,500.

With 11,000 students enrolled in its co-operative education programs, U\V is looking for more funding and support from the government.

A "roUndtable" discussion be­tween'the review board, led by Rae, and UWis tentatively scheduled for October29 on carilpus.A public meet -ing i&to:take place November 25.

" Speaking of eo-op: more hopefuls find work , ~

According to co-op director Bruce -Lumsden; 188 more co-op students have found employment this fall over last year's figures. Of the 3,821 stu­dents involved in UW's various co-op programs - the largest of which is engineering-3,493 have found place­mentsthatsuittheirareaofstudy. The rate of employment is 91 per cent.

"The effect of the double cohortis beginning to be felt," Lumsden pointed out. An additional 300 stu­dents were scheduled to be working this year.

Of those who have nOl'foundwork, half come from the engineering fac­uIty, and most of the rescarein math.

Ids' the co-op department's goal to pelpthose who did. not get a place­Fent find work for at least partof the term.

Honourarv d~grees at fall

COQvb~~ion . . " Diprvi:tll\s w.i¥ A(),t..'~ the only

things handed out durin'g UW:s fall convocation, on Saturday, October 23. Three honourary degrees will be pre-

semed to professors \Villiam Marras, Ross Prentice, and Brian Tighe for their reseatchin the areas of ergonom­ics,biostatistics and eye care, respec­tively.

Marras, of Ohio State University, is to receive a Doctorate of Science for his . work relating-design with the causes and prevention oflow-back injuries, and a Doctorate ofl'.fathematics will be given to Prentice, a top contributor to statistical methodology and practice in public health scienses.

Tighe, Senior Vice-Chancellor of Aston Universit:yin Bitmi:qgham,will also receive a Doctorate of Science. Tighe has made c~)Utributions to the eye care industry with the develop­ment of new contact l~ns materials.

Both.Marras and Prentice are giving speeches during UW's f<ill convoca­tion. Marras will address the graduates in applied health sciences and arts, and Prentice ~ address the graduates in engineerjng, environmental studies, independent studies, mathematics and science.

Parking Services creates space in UWPlace

UW Parking Service"s recently opened more parking spots for stu­dents on the UWPlace lands. There are 522 spots reserved for residents and 89 spots reserved for viSItors. '

Parking Services made these spots available to students with permits fot

lotSC'MN •. ~~~~~'~~ .. ~Jtf¥~ pressure on th~se lo~~, Only 200 per-mits !).ave been soldto UWPlace resi­

, dents so far this term. '

cloureiro@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

- with files from TheRecord and Daily Bulletin

Professor:~alcoholnot > v~." •

n~eded at UW Continued from cover

Heather Fitzgerald is uW's stu­dent life co-ordinator, one of the individuals responsible for oversee­ing TJW's orientation ,veek. Respond­ing to Prof. Elmasry's editorial, she highlighted the need to educate stu­dents to drink responsibly.

"We need to create an environ­ment that encourages respons.ible decision making," she said. "I think it is important to treat students as responsible adults. Part of being a responsible adult is learning how alcohol consumptibn fits into your life.

"Our campu.s bars are well-run through Campus Bar Operations, a joint venture of the university and the Federation of Students ... they care abo~t their patrons and they are al­ways takinginc.reasingsteps andmeas­mes to ensure that students there are safe and there is not over-consump­tion of alcohol."

Feds '\ 'P Internal John Anders.en, who oversees u\V's student clubs and services, commented on the con-

tentious issue. "Maybe you'll be 19 when you get

[to university], maybe you'll turn 19 whert you're here, but you're going to make that transition and become le- ' gallyallowed to consmne alcohol. For many people, that's going to be a first. It marks another initiation, much like orieQtation week ... a transition from one stage of your li,fe to anOther.

"If we'do not allow alcohol at all during our orientation week, it ig­nores the issues that surround alcohol instead of bringing that [to students] in a safe, acceptable way.

"Allowing students to learn about alcohol here on our campus, where they have the guidance and protection of their peers, of our highly trained, very effective bar staff and the UW .Police: it's just a much safer environ­. ment for them to be in.

"If they don't learn those lessons here, they're goingto l~am themscime­where else. And where is that place going to be? How safe is that going to be? \,\'e don't know/'

adiltS@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 1, 2004

Off-campus housing iochange . Laura Katsirdakis

EDITOR-IN-.CHIEF

Last lvfonday night,at a public hear­ing, Waterloo council approved the -City of Waterloo's Stud~nt·Accom­modation Study in principle. This means there will be changes to off­campus housing in the future.

Accorditig to Ryan Chen-Wing, a representative ofBW students on the Student Accommodation Study. Advisory Committee, the study,re:. leasedJ~ly 30,2004,was theftrst to address the problem of minimum distance separation (MDS)betWeen lodging houses in Waterloo.

"Generally, students wantto live. closer to campus, but [the MDS regulations] pushed them further away," he said, noting that many students rely on lodging houses despite the fact that the city ofWa­terloo has implemented MDS as a way of preventing a ·"student ghetto" from fo~ming.

Chen-Wing explained "lodg1ng houses:' are residences that house more than three renters who are nQt related to eachdther. . "This study recognizes: the needs of different groups in the city .. ; , including students. It acknowledges that students are an important com­ponent of-the communitr,"£b.en~ Wingsai<t

"OW", our students and perma-

nent residents of Waterloo have long advocated for change in the reliance on [lodging houses] as the basis for off-c~mpus student housing. While we agree with the recommendation to liinit the number of home con­versions in single-family neighbqur­hoods in favour of higher density studenthousingclose to the univer­sity campuses, there is more work to be done," explained a statementre-

., leased on Tu~sday by Bud Walker, UW's director of business opera- • tions and member of the SASAC.

Becky Wroe, Feds ptesidentand member of the SASAC, conftrmed: "the Feds stand firmly.behiridthe report." She notedth~repcitl?s ;ec-

'. ommendation to increasehigh-den-. sity housipg: close to the university 'but pointed out this is "a fIrst step, not an action plan. There needs to be some sortofincentive to encourage developers to create .this housing."

Wroe explained, from the F~ds perspective! concessions :were made to the cityby allowing the MDS to be raised from 75 to 150 metres in re­turn for the inclusion of arecom­mendation J)fincreased hl~~den­sit}' housing close to the university.

"Council's proposed restrictions on converted private homes will·have a realimpact. They must be matched by equally~eal initiatives to create higher-densityhous1ng close to,the UW campus. To assume that zoning

. M~r.rIed Stt,ldents' l'\partl'nents

in' the area is· the catalyst for such 'initiatives is to invite future student housing problems, andret an9ther stUdy on student housing," Walker said, echoing Wroe;s sentiment.

. "There is no definite silver bullet here," Walker added, noting the problem will only be solved by work ~ ing closely with both the ci!}' apd developers. 'We llee<i to continu.ally work with the ci!}' and try every posi­tive'approach."

Waterloo has an unusually high populatio!1 of post-secondary stu­cients,becaus~ it houses two u;Uver~ sities. According to the· report, ap­proximately 60 per cent ofUW and WLU students required off caJ:Ilpus housing in 2003.

Chen-Wing noted that since 1993 the size of first rear classes. has in~, creased steadily. 2004 is th~ ftrst year that the incoming frosh population has been less than the previous year. "[There are] restrictions on supply,

, .increasing demand and the outlet valve [has been] housing further and further from campus," he said.

Acc01:ding to Chen-Wing, if the -recorpmendation for high-densi!}' housing close to campus does not materialize, there will be more pres­sure on off campus housing-espe, cially lodging houses. '

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PIN I 0 N opWon~pM'.=",rloo." Imprint is published by Imprint Publicatiofls Student Life G:entre 1116 UniversityofWaterloo Waterloo, ON N2L 3G1

.

UNIVERISTY OF WATERLOO STUDENT NEWSPAPER

It's all student politics Friday, October 1, 2004:- Vol. 27, No. 11

Editorial Board Editor-in-chief, Laura Katsirdakis editor@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Assistant Editor, Phil ~V einer Cover Editor, Dan lI.Iicak News Editor, Sarah Allmendinger Opinion Editor, Rachel Shugart

Student Life Centre 1116 University ofWaterioo Waterloo, ON N2L 3G1

Feaiures Editor, Tim ~\lamenciak . Arts Editor, Ela Malkovsky • Science Editor, Penny Jlylichelle Rorke Spotts E?itor, ~\dam McGuire Photo Editor, Chris lI.Iiller

Graphics Editor, Julian Apong, \X'eb Editor, J~cqueline' McKoy

F: 519.884.7800 P:519.888.4048 imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Laura Katsirdakis HATI GOT YOUR TONGUE

Drink on campus

Do student politics ma.tterto anyone other than student politicians? As a student joumalist, Ihave had the chance to observe these weird and wonderful creatures. In the spirit of this column, in which I reflect on news from other .Canadian universities, the Students' Society of McGill University (SSMU) will be the example used to address this question.

Editor's note: this is the first instalment 0/ the Imprint editori~L It will appearweekfy and will consist 0/ a riflection on a Clmint issue f?y Imp'rint's editorial board. The opinions expressed in it are not necessarify . held f?y all members 0/ the editorial board.

Pro£ MohamedElrrlasry (electrical engineering) recendy went on record statirtgthat there spow.d beno alcohol consumption-on Canadian university . campuses.

Problems with drinking on cam­pus include the trail of havoc ·that Bomber patrons leave as they walk to their respective homes after a night out. Trash cans'are often overturned, and the fountain· outside the math building may have been rmstaken for a toilet more than once.

However, the problems arising from drinking on campus will not be solved by banning alcohol on univer­sity campuses. In fact, it may even make them worse.

When the Bomber was closed be­cause oflicensingissues last year, peo­ple did not S!Op drinking for the du­ration of its closure. They went to other, off campus bars. They would almost certainly do the same if alcohol was no longer available on campus.

It is a valid argument that frosh are coming to university at a younger age, but let's be honest, if the young'uns want to drink they ~ find a way to drink. Fake IDs are nothing new, nor is the idea of drinkingin residence.

Onderaged students would just become less responsible and safe by drinking much faster, as well as further away from campus. . Banning alcoh?l on campus ~

make itimpQssible to implement con­trols that the Bomber and Fed Hall

Editorial Staff News .\ssistant, Mark JohnSon

Opinions ,\ssistant, Jonathan ehiu Features ,\s~ista9t; Brendan Burtows . \rts ,\ssistant, David George-Cosh Science ,\ssistant, Tim Mollison Sports ,\ssistant, Rod McLachlan Photo Assistant, lI.iohammad Jangda Graphics ,\ssistant, Hitoshi Murakami \\' eb . \ssi.,<tant, ~co.tt Houston Systems . \dministrator, Javed Iqbal. Lead Proofreader, Simon Yarrow Proofreader, 'Nada'a Fayyaz Proofreader, Ernie Lau Proi)freager, . \nthony Lodi Proofreader, Rebecca Temmer

Production Staff .Jeff ,\nstett; Sabrina Bowman: Michael Davcnpoxt, J<clley DilkeB, Durshan Ganthan,i\[organ Grainger, .Jes~ica

currendy utjlize. You. can be sure off campus bars will not check your ID against your Watcard.

Not only will campus bars lose massive ~ounts0f.m.oneyif they are dry, but they will be far kss successful

r as v~nues for musical acts. The cultural benefit of these watering i'loles that draw in artists will, no doubt, be di­minishedif campusb.ars are conv~rted to overblown cafeterias.

Chances are good !hat most stu- . dents live close to cainpus, and mak­ing their way h~tJ?e from the Bomber is much easier than fmditig their way home from of~cainpus bars. Cam-1'l1s bars, in thlSJight, di~coilrage im~' paired clrivingJkcause they are within 'walking distance for students.

Alcohol coii'(tiihption, though it may lead to ,some less-than~intelligent behaviour, is a part of student life .. This will not go away by taking ~t off campus. It will just move away from ' campus and probably become mbre dangerous as a result.

With many students away from home for the first rime. in their live.s, alcohol is part of the socializing that goes on. It's just a factoflife.

Think of it as similar t6 the issue of sex e.duf:ation for young people:." they!te going to do itanyway.yqtl.can be" sure of that, so why no(take a more helpful stance arid teach them how tq be responsible and safe? Instead of banning alcohol and increasing the excitement that surrounds all such 'taboos, why not teach frosh how to handle alcohol responsibly? If you're not chugging the mickey in anticipa­tion of n:mr don catching you, there might be more rime to be smart about drinking.

Honsbergh, Heather Lekx, Tom Levesque, Margie Mansell, Heather McKay, Neal

, Moogk-Soulis, Yufeph Montasser, Claire.·' Mousseau, Craig Reidel, Sue Richards,':

, Heather Seegmiller, Tim Wang, Dean Whelton, Serena WDng, YanessaWong

Office Staff

Exhibit one - The McGill DailY. . reported that a survey conducted by . the SSMU, revealed that "students know sUrprisingly little about SSMU and the services it offers."

Is this really surprising? To the average student who is not involved with their student union, thereis noth­'ing more boring than the intimate details of the communicationimprove­mentstrategies and awareness day plan­ning of student unions ..

At McG~. the survey itself sent SSJl.1U VPs into spirals of squabbles over such inane details; the survey may or may not have been scientific and the SSMU Web site mysteriously stopped displaying it somerimeafter April 30. SSMU VPs adtTIitted,accordingto The McGill Daify, that the web site was having problems and would be back

UNDER THREAT

Next staff meeting: Monday, October 4 12:30 p.m., SLC 1116

Next production night: Wednesday, October 6 5:00 p.m., SLC 1116

Board of Directors board@imprint.uwaterloo.ca President,,\ndrew Dilts

Gerreral manager, 'Catherine Bolger cathy. bolger@imprint,uwaterloo.ca ,\dvertising & production manager, Laurie Tigert-Dumas

" ',' ';"Vice-president, Erin Gilmer

Trea§urer,. Neal Moogk-Soulis Secretary, Margie Mansell

,\dvertising .\ssistant, Bobby Hyleun! ads@imprint.uwaterloo,ca Distribution, Chandra' lI.Iouli Distribution, Suresh Darla Y oluntecr co-ordinator, Kirika Bussell Pn;ducriofl assistant, vacanr

Staff liaison, Heramb Ramachandran staff.liaison@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Next board meeting: Monday, October 4 4:00 p.m., SLC 1116

up ;md running soon. The Daify also reported that the

SSMU is currendy headl~ss, so t~ speak, since the president was forced to resign in September. AlamAlli expected the university to grant him a degree exten­sion,.butwhen they did not, he lost his status as an undergraduate student and was unable to continue as SSMU president.

Is this guy serious? Or' is he

just wasting time so he

doesn't have to . .

start on his \

biology assignment?

The previous SSMU president, NaeemDatoo, was forced to resign.in September 2003 because of internal conflicts, accordingto TheDaify. In the

. bctober' by-el~ction ma"t followed Datoo's resignation, Alli was disquali­fied by the Chief Returning Officer (CRO) for campaign violations. Then in April, the SSMU's Judicial Board . overtUrned the CRQ's decision and disc·arded the results of the October election.

Imprillt is the official studt;nt newspaper of the University of Waterloo. It is an editori­ally independent newspaper published by Imprint Publications, \\' aterloo, a corpora­tion without share capital. Implillt is a mem­ber of the Ontario Community Newspaper Association (OCN~\). Editorial· submissions rna,· be considered for publication in any editi~n of IIlIPrillt. IlJIpdllt may also reproduce'the material commercially in any format or medium as part of the newspaper database, \,\'eb site or any other product deri\'ed ftom' the news­

paper. Those submitring editorilu content, including articles; letters, photos and graph­ics, will grant Imprillt first publicatio~ rights

. of their submitted material, and as such, agree nos to submit ·the same work to any other publication or group until such time as the material has been distributed in an

issue of IIlIP,illt, or IllIpdlll·de.clare~ their

Guess what happened next? An­other election. I imagine students were just running each other down to getto the polls and cast their billot!

This election put AlIi in the head tole with 46.5 per cent of the student vote. This election also happened to be the third one for the SSMU presi­dent in one calendar year.

WithAlli'srecentresignation, SSMU councillors voted not to hold another by-ele~tion. Tlie Daify reported on the lengthy debate on this issue. ''There must be someone clearly chosen by the people .... It should be left open to the students to decide who the president is," said clubs and services representative Alex Kemeny. Is this guy serious? Or is he just~sringrime so he doesn't have to start on his biology assignment?

From the perspective of one who. observes student politicians, iti~' clear that they often engage in such con­trived in-fIghting arid idealistic ram­bling. While interviewing such peopl<; 'and covering their meetings as a stu­dent journalist, I often wonder - if they spent this much- energy on at­te~pting to be relevant to students, they might actually get somewhere.

Next rime floods of students pour in to c1aimrefunds f,or stu~t~Q, " programs, and next time a s~dent union election occurs'and 0.002,per cent of the student body tUms out to vote, ifwou!'d be advisable to rethink the ~ay these organizations operate.

editor@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Julian Apong

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10 .I

Treasure the simple things in life

Graham Barclay TYPE-IN-STEREO It wa'S Laura Ingalls Wilder who first said, "it is the simple things of life that make living worth­while." Granted, the author of Little HOllse on the Prairie said that a long time ago, but it still holds true in our modem, fast -paced lives - and especially in our relationships.

I'm sad to say that a great many of the straight couples that! encounter seem to take all of these little things for granted. It's not entirely your fault, understand, because when you are af­forded the luxury to act freely every day of your life, you tend to forget what that freedom tastes· like.

What freedom? Well, you name it, really ... just look around you right now. If you're in any sort of public place (aside from a church perhaps), you'll most likely see a couple holding hands, walking arm in arm, kissing each other fondly or other activities in that general category.

As a group, you've all gotten so used to it that it comes as' second nature to your relationships. In an average straight relationship, it's expected for you to hold your significant other's hand every so often, to cozy tip during a movie, or sneak a quick kiss before you run off to class. In fact, some of you are takingit a bit too far, like one gentleman who was helping his girlfriend clean her tonsils with his tongue - in the middle of the hallwa,y of the Davis Centre, in front of the main entrance.

You know who you are! I was at least 10 meters away ... andI could hearit. I don'tcareifit's

hard to meet girls in your faculty or not, because that's just not right. But I digress.

The reason why I notice all these little things when I walk around campus is because! can't do any of those things in my current relationship while in public. I'd love to, mind you. Relation­ships of any kind thrive on those moments of spontaneity. On top of that, I'm a bit of a romantic, really, so being unable to just reach over and grab my significant other's hand on a whim hurts.

Now, why can't I do this relatively simple thing? Because when I hold my boyfriend's hand, it's seen as an act of protest.

With this one simple act, we take our relation­ship out of the "bedroom" and unintentionally rub it in everyone's face. What is for some a very simple thing becomes a risk - you never know who you might meet who might take offence to the fact that the love I've found doesn't fit into their cookie-cutter concepts oflove.

Now, of course, people in the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transvestite (GLBT) community have said that we should not be afraid, that only through forcing the public atlarge to see our own public displays of affection will change come. They're right, but, at the same time, sacrificing my safety and the safety of the one I love is a large risk. It's sad, but knowing that you may come across people who believe that they have something to prove can affect your relationships.

So, for those straight couples out there read-. ing this, do all of us in the GLBT community a

favour: don't take the little things for granted. The next time you reach for your girlfriend's or boyfriend's hand, make it mean something. There's a high chance someone will be watching and envying your freedom.

gbarclay@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 1, 2004

Good speaker, good points, poor logic

The better a speaker you are, the less actual content you need to captivate an audience. Irshad Manji was a great speaker.

Irshad Manji visited Waterloo to give a presentation on Israel, diversity and religion. I don't mean to imply that she had no content at all; I think she made some good points on each of these three topics.

Ms. Manji said that Israel is a very diverse country, and gave some examples in support of this - fair enough. She also gave examples of very bad Arab (although she used the word Muslim on most occasions) states - fair enough. She also made the con-nection that these Arab states

tional example of diversity. What about Canada?

I was given the opportunity to ask Ms. Manji a question of my own after her presen-tation.

Here's how the dialogue played out:

Me: You've done a good job providing examples of ways Muslims can learn from Israeli, or Jewish, society. Can you suggest one way that Israeli society can learn from Muslim. society?

1\1s. Manji: You're kind of putting me on the spot, why don't you tell me what you have in mind, so that I can comment on it.

Me: Actually, I am asking the question to see if you have explored the other side of the issue that you are talking ~bout today.

Ms Manji: Well, I like to think that there is more than

could learn from the diversity in She was able to Israel. Sure. Everyone knows

just two sides to any given issue.

that there are poorly run Arab states, and everyone, not only them, should appreciate diver­sity.

convince me that she hadn't

Me: Can you give me any other side?

Here's the problem. Ms. Manji was able to state these obvious points but in myopin­ion she tried to use them to imply much bigger and unsup-

even considered the

To this, Ms. Manji replied thatin Israel, she found many people, particularly the younger generation, to be·very commercially oriented. and

other side.

ported theses. Here's an example of how Ms: Manjicheated

in her logic. She stated that she would only answer"

questions from individuals who would first answer her question, "Is diversity worth de­fending?"

The tactic she used, very well I might add, was to make it look like the answer "yes" to this question made her speech a rearing success. She attempted to use the following logic -Israel is diverse and, if diversity is worth de­fending, then Israel is worth defending.

However, it is the coJiicept of diversity that is worth defending, not any individual state that exhibits diversity. The truth is, people questivn the defense ofIsrael based on many other factors.

If Ms. Manji's thesis was tliat diversity is worth defending, there are many better exam­ples to choose than Israel. India is an excep-

spend too much time in malls. She felt that Israeli society

could learn to beless comtii~~1.·",,~veA'r~ I thanked Ms. Manji for taking the time to

al;1swer my question; she was aple to convince me that she hadn't even considered the other side. Israelis can learn not to be mal/rati? Not only was her response completely irrel­evant to Muslim society, but I don't even think it is true: I have found Arab states to be very materialistic and commercially-driven.

But then, if she doesn't have true knowl­edge of Muslim culture, how could she have possibly titled her book "The Trouble with Islam"?

I am hesitant to read the book, because I am not confident in the quality of the content, but nonetheless I will give it a read. We'll call it a second chance.

I'll get back to you on that one.

Amir Ali

, FRIDAY, OCTOBER 1, 2004

The lost adventures of the Left

"Tom le~esQue 'UNCOMMON' SENSE At some point I would like to per­form an experiment in which the life of a c}illd would be tracked until ma­turity, at which time the ind,ividual would be questioned on his or her political leaning. Childhood experi­ences could then be compared to po­litical alignment.

I predict that a pattern would )lrise. Those who tend toward the left of the politicru. spectrum probably had traumatic chil9hood experiences ..

,Maybe they were mauled by a bear, abducted by, aliens or dropped squarely on their heads as babies.

Perhap~ one such individual would found a Gr,eat Canadian Bu­reaucracy - "The Coinission for the Protection ofY oung Victims of Wild­life Attacks, Alien Abduction and Parental Baby Dropping Syndrome" or CPYVW AAAPBDS for short. Support us. It's for a good cause!

A big part of life is facing chal­lenges, m~lcing mistakes, and, yes, causing the occasional disaster. With­out these "character building" expe~ riences, we ar~ nothing but hollow

, /

and sheltered drones. Arid without acknowledge and accept a small risk. an interest in the unknown' and a If~eystillchoose.todoitdespitethe

willingness to make mistakes and risk, then why. s'hould the govern-encounter danger, we would never ment attempt to protect them? Such have had the drive to explore, inno- ' 'a question seems especially valid when vate and change. We would have be- the protection is unwanted and.down-come stagnant and died off as a spe~ right harmful to the economy. cies a long time ago. There are already market forces at

Do you ever find yourself:<loing work that fight these problems. It is something you kns>w to be danger- in a business owner's best interest to ous, but nonetheless comingqp with serve clean, well-prepared fish. If a mental justification? "If this ",(ere someone becomes ill after eating at actually dangerous, there would be, • his or her restaurant, it would be

. some kind of warning label or it would damaging to the business. And if an be built differently." We expect Big, individual wanted to serve cbntami­Brother to protect us. T~at~x;pecta- nated food as a malicious act, I doubt tion' allows our' common sense to' they would give a second thought to take a vacation. (One might then de- regulations. scribe it as uncommon sense.) To curb my sushi cravings, I sup-

. The government cannot possibly pose I will have to start smoking mari-protect us from our environment. 'juana. At least that activity ~s slowly It's too big, too complicated and too qecominggovemmentsanctioned. random. We have to be smart enough to r~actd5Tnamically to change. talevesq@imprint.uwaterloo.ca.

It is after that lengthy introduc­tion that I question the Government of Ontario and its new requirement that raw fish-be frozen before it is served in restaurants. These new regu­lations are espeeiallytough on small sushi businesses that struggle to sur­vive.'When certain types of fish ~re frozen beforehand, it can severely re-duce their quality. ," ,

The point is simple: those' wh.o decide to eat fish, especially raw fish,

11

Caesarean scar for all "

SHINY OBJECTS' It's fine For all of you mothers, seniors, religiously-inclined and other special groups - you have it e,asy.

But what ab~ut th:e rest of us? What's our recourse when we begin t?

Hit the showers: I learned this lesson as a child, I

"had a friend" whose mother (hi mom!) always held in reserve her con-' cealed and indomitable weapon that could be used whenever the tides turned against her.

U.S. smart bombs ain't nothin' compared to mom's patented, devas­tating doozie: The Caesarean Scar.

No matter how strong yourargu­ment, when that thing rears it's long jagged head, you've lost, it's got you by.

lose an argument? When our oppo- ' nent has a more compelling line of thinking, better, reasoning, sup" porting facts and logic?

~------------------. the cojones. (Just be

It's incredibly : unfair that some,of us have to work to win the hard way while others seem to have a magic TKO punch that can stop any argu­ment in it tracks.

"There is abso-, lutely nothing to say after that -just wave that white flag and,

hope mom, observes the

Geneva Conventions . .,

grateful she didn't have an episiotomy.)

There is absolutely nothi?g to say after that - jl1;st wave that white flag and hope mom observes the Geneva Conventions.·

In politics, there ate

equivalent TKO shots that ate just as effective at ending any criticism.

Theycanbeaccusa­tory: "if you think that, you hate freedom" and "criticizing me is

We're all familiar with "respect )Tour elders," ~hi:?

Men know this - if they're fighting with any woman they care about; be it mother,girlfriend,orwife, as' soon as .' the\Vatetwotts s\Vitchon.it's allover.

tantamount to not supporting our troops." They can be threatening, "[If Kerry wins] ... we'll get hit !lgain."

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The horror, of having a, unisex name

Arda Oeal IIR HIISE AbDut seven years ago. I was in Turkey at. a swimming pDol with my uncle when a mDther started yelling "Arda, Arda!"

Obviously not being accustDmed to. hearing my name withDut SDmeDne yelling fDr me, I turned arDund. To. my delight, I saw a, very attractive lady running around the pool yelling my name. She was running very clDse to. the pDDl, so.

she CDuld have slipped and fallen. I thDughtDf the possibility Dfher jumping safely into. the pDDl and then rising back to the surface, slDwlycaressingthe hairawayfrDqlherflicewhilesmilingandwinking at me.

TDmydismay,shewasrunnfugafterherbaby , 'daughter. At that mDment,I realized that Arda was a girl's name-I haven't been the same since. It was an abrupt introductiDn to. my feminine side. NDt that I didn't already have a hunch that Arda was a girl's name. Recess was always full Df "ha ha, Arda's a girls name, JDu're a girl!" and "Arda, YDU IDDked so hDticing that cake in hDme eCDnDmicsclass" -sDI had an early inkling Dfmy impending fate.

I dedicate this article to. the Kellys, :Michels, Tracys, Sams; Ardas and the like - the cult Df unisex names-. Admit it; if YDU meet a male Tracy, ' YDU think he's gDt a strDng feminine side no. matter what he IDDks like, and YDU ~ definitely ignore any pSYChDIDgical reasDning '(like the fact thathemighthavesevep sisters). It's just a gatural thought: to have - unisex names equal unisex

persDnalities. Let's back the man train up a little here-there

is nDthingwrDngwith a unisex name. In fact, it's justplain aweSDme. First Dfall, it's a treatfDrall you "normal peDple" to. meet someDne with a unisex name, because it dDesn't happen every day. And let me tell YDU, we unisexers are the'cream Df the crop; we dDn't let just anyDne into the cult YDU knDW.

Words can't express how my unisex name has helped me Dutin tDugh times. FDr example, girls IDve a guX with a feminine side.lt's wonderful to have the fDundation Df Dne established fDr YDU withDUt having to prove it right away. And when I went to. the mechanic the other day to. fix the family car, the guy was so sympathetic after I introduced myself that he Dffered to. fix the car fDr halfprice because he assumed I definitely cDuldn't ' do. itmysel£ CDuldlife get any better? Sure, times were tDugh when I was a kid, but it's smooth , sailingfromhereDnin,nDwthatwehaveallgrown up and realized the errDr Df Dur wayS.

Shortly after the mDther caught baby girl Arda, I walked up to. the kid, IDDkedher sternly in the eyes and said, "You have taken, my mas'­culinity young lady." PrDbably understanding everything I said, she giggled and put her ftnger DnmynQs~. Ironically, a similarPlcidentDccurred this past weekend Dn the phDne with my little c<?,;!sin, who decided to. makeup a sDngabDutmy name. The chorus went sDmething like this:

"Arda Farda bo Bar~a, Arda is a girl's name!" ,On a related note, mymDm and dad refuse te

commentDn the actuaigendernature.ofmyname and alSo. pass it Dff as "unisex." CDme to. think Df it, salad is unisex, and you dDn't make friends with salad.

aocal@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

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Mark Johnson EXTREME CENTRE Nextweek will bring with it the teopeningof the HDuse DfCDmmDns and a chance to. test Cana­da's weakened but stable mino'rity gov<;rnment.

Paul Martin must IDDk to the DppDsition for suppDrt to. fulfill Liberal campaign promises and continue to serve Canada as wDnderfully as this government has for the past decade.

The Bloc Quebecois and NOP, happy with their strDng electiDn results, hav~ signaled their

, intentiDn to cODperate on legislatiDn Dn which they can fInd CDmmon grDund with the Liber-als. '

On the Dther side Df the coin, there's the "new" Alliance CDnservative Paity, still in tat­ters after suffering a humiliating defeat Dn election night. "

When Harper's predictiDn Df amajorityCDn­servative government didn't happen and Cana­dians rejected their far-right "Republican Party NDrth," the blame game began. First, Harper bitterly blamed NOP vDters in Ontario who. strategically swung to the Liberals at the last minute.

SDon after shutting up, he has nDW CDme

out and criticized his party for bDtching the electiDn, saying that it needs to. "becDme mDre prDfessiDnal,mDre inclusive and mDre disci­plined." He blamed the CDnservative govern" mentin New Brunswick; then he bitched SDme mDre abDut Ontario..

Whatalaugh! Maybe the Tories should have fDund better tactics than, using the Dffer of cDmmunity service hours, to. ~ribe kids into. dDingtheir campaigning tDr them!

Once they've stDppe,d their internal squa~­bles, hopefully Parliament Hill can get down to. business.

,ELITlON'

J\.fissile defense will cDntinue to. stir furiDUS debate. Tho NO P and BIDc are bitterly DppDsed to. the plan while the Conservatives are strDngly ip. favour." '

With a clear majority DfMPs sUPPDrtingthe KyDtO PrDtDcol, implementation will hope- . fully prDceed as SDon as possible. '

. A bill to. fDrmally legalize same-sex marriage will likely be intrDduced in the CDming months, and I thank GDd that it is expected to. pass successfully, albeit with all parties divided.

The NDP continue to. promDte the foolish cDncept Df prDportiDnal representation in Canada - prDbably Dnly because their party stands to. benefit the mDst from it. However, with the socialists holding little Dr no pDwer in this Parliament, we shDuld be able to. sweep it under the rug for now.

The gDvernment surplus is nDW larger than it wa~ expected to. be, but the new health care deal will cDnsume mDst ofit. Expect the NOP and Bloc to call fDr us to. spend every last cent.

The Conservatives wDuld prefer to. squan­" der the surplus on tax cuts tor"the wealthy Dr beefIng up the military. '

The Liberals tend to. take a balanced ap­proach, putting 11 pDrtiOn Df the funds tDward sDcial prDgrams and using the rest to. cut taxes and pay d~wn the debt.

With Dur taxes already'being so lew, we can hardly afford to maintain Dur social programs, I think tax cuts shDuld be a last resDrt.

As ~ fIscal cDnservative, I'd prefer mDst Df the surplus to be applied against the half~ trillion do~ar natiDnal debt. We cDuld free up billiDns more every year - mDney that's pres- . ently gDing to. the black hole Dfinterest pay­ments.

None Df the majDr parties are eager to dive into. an electiDn anytime SDDn, so. I believe this minDrity gDvernment will be an excell~nt op­pDrtunity for the parties to. try and put aside partisan differences to. deliver sDund policies to.

beneftt all Canadians.

mjohnson@in'iprint.uwaterloo.ca

Graham McClure

Only now did Rick regret throwing up his hat at graduation.

FRIDAY. OCTOBER 1, 2004

Argume.nts: how, to windn five seconds llat Continued from page 11

The best part is that unlike other sucker-punches, these shots are effec­tive because the electorate doesn't de­nounce them. People just swallow' them, from rotten head to slimy tail, without question, proof or justifica­tion. As Jon Stewart putit, "it's true; because he said it}'

At the time ofwPting, we're day's away from the firSt presidential debate . and journalists a:ndplmdits alike'bave . been falling over them-

don't sue,writersoESeinftld, I didn't the button slogans - "No one died say he saidhwithBabu'saccent.) when Clinton lied" and ''Bush: he

K: ''Whitt about the lack of an al- wants towirifiirthi:s time," these'll be 'Qaedaconn~ction?" hard to slip int6Kerry's answers on

B: ''Very bad. Freedom good. homeland security. Saddam bad. Terrorism bad ... very But none of these is my main bad." ...~~,"Wl1at ;I}:eally want is my own

.' And the Republicans are damn .. 'Tkd'pciibh. That's it. From now on, good' at these winning sound bites: if you disagree With me, then dang it, "he!!; a flip"fiopper," "he's the most· 'youieat'puppi~: You heard me, you liberal senator:' Democrats only have'·,' ;,sick Ben,i,:;biter,: i "hope is on the way,",which doesti"t .... ., quitehitthespot.:AndfPndasIartmf ' :". ilwong@imprint:uwaterloo.ca

selves ttyingto predict TILES fROM TIE SEX the results and whose ' ., . . "

I'QIIt<e\OlIPPII'forll~ lit 'JOfJf S_. plelu.

/

debating style willtri­umph. There are in­depth analyses regard-' ingdebate formats, past histories; likeability and otatoricalflait.Butwht:n . aiis said and done the winner will be the guy with the best ten-word answer- the presi-dential Caesarean Scar, . .. _'-W __ -';;.iiiii.;;. ...... I...u. ..... I.. .... _ .. ..& .. if you will. It will be whipped out with fe­rocious frequency' in variouS' forms. For ex"' ample: ;',

K: '''How do you explain the lack of WMDs in Iraq?"

B: "Uh ... Saddam . was a bad md man -

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The small joys of working with children

MAPS AND LEGENDS It is distressingly easy to become dis­illusioned and cynical while working on a deyelopment aid project. Aside from leaying behind all the things one takes for granted liying in Canada, ti"\;(juent bouts of political gridlock and the gaping disparity between needs and ","ailable resources lea\"es mam'­eyen oyer-idealistic interns- drained and wondering about the point of it all at the end of the day.

,\n issue that lea\"es many locals gnashing their teeth in frustration and bewilders foreign yisitors is hm\" GeorgetO\\"n, formerly described as the "Garden Cin' of the Caribbean," has become a mess of garbage-tilled drainage canals and lirter-stre\\"n streets. In some respects, the Lonely Planet \\"orldguide\ description of Georgeto\\'n as "dilapidated" is un­fortunately generous. The true trag­edy of the problem is that it is entirell" self-inflicted.

The Pan-American Health Organi-

za tion recently asked our proj ectteam to assist in its Cleanliness and Citizen­ship campaign. "\fter making a pass­ing remark at a meeting about hm\" recycling\\"as made into a secular reli­gion in Canada b," directing endless exaltations to reduce. reuse and rec)"Cle to school children, I found m,"self once again on the bumpy road to

Linden to help deliwr a skit and a brief presentation on the perils of littering and on making Guyana shine.

.\lternating between running around the classroom with a bag on m:" head identifying m)"self as "Messy" and explaining the story of the Coke bottle that finally plugged up the canal, I presented to about a dozen different priman" schools, whose students of­ten looked at me as though I had descended from outer space.

In a politically tense counn'y, where the gap between what is said and what acmall~' happens is depressing, itis hard to describe the relief to hear a child ex­claim, "Deh's a rat in me bedroom" when posed a yuesri( m ab( lUt the effects of liner, or to hear them say in unison that rhC\"'1l he on :\[0111 and Dad's CbL"

if the,' e\Tn think about tossing their trash on the side of the road.

Too young to knO\\" the negatiye things said about their home, these

kids cannot help but belie\~e in a brighter future for Guyana. Sur­rounded b," a curious cro\\'d of 30 \\'anting to shake '"our hand or chal­lenge you to a game of football, it is impossible to not share in their belief. Their schools may be in disrepair, and they may haye to pitch in custodial duties, but eyery child that I saw was more than happ\" to be there and eagerly bought into our message to

help keep Guyana clean. If the kids belieye in it, I am sure the rest of the population can tind a way to as well.

I personally belieye that all politi­cians should spend more time with children, not in carc:fulll" managed and focus-group tested photo opportuni­ties, but actually talking to them and listening to their colourful and bru­tall\" honest depictions of the liyes they liye. It might remind them that the ultimate task of am" generation is to ensure that the \\"orld they pass on to

their successors is at least as health," as the one they inherited .. \5 .John F. Kenned:" (mce adroitly pointed (mt, in a '.yorkl often ti'aughr with cu]mral t1iyisi( In .ll1d disc()Rl. "'( h:1"111' ,0'1 h.l,ic common link is that\\T ail cherish our children's future."

cedey@imprint.uwaterioo.ca

The British invasion ... again

It's an invasion! \,\'e look like the rest of you but we're just a little different. Aliens have descended on \'\' aterloo from all around the world. \,\'e are the international exchange students here for just a year (or less) to expe­rience something a bit Canadian. I'm from London (England, not Ontario); I've been here three weeks and my English, big-city, cynical edge

is wearing off. I\'e found myself saying "Hey" to complete strangers on the street, I exchange life stories with the check-out girls at Sobey's, and a Tim Hortons apple tea and cherry danish make me so much hap­pier than is normal.

As an alien I have been exposed to a foreign culture and I thought I'd give my British view on some of the madness ... So keg party, eh?\"x'hat's that all aboot? I've been to two so far and have been inherently amused by three things: tirst, the sheer number of wasted teenagers who could (in all

honesty) have had a fairly substan­tial drinking history in the L1K, where on weekends the streets are not so much paved with gold as with un­conscious drinkers. Second, the oh­so-vile taste of the beer - I still shudder at the memory from last night. Ugh! It's warm, weak and genuinely horrendous! let the underagers chug it down like thirsty newts (you ha\'e newts here, right?).

Third, the police shut parties down? How hilarious! Obviously Waterloo lacks perspective on drink­ing laws and apparently has no real

CHRISEDEY

Children help tidy up in a Guyanese village.

crime to speak of. Drunk teenagers - it's some\\·hat easy prey, don't you think? It's not really like locating a keg party is particularly difticult. Fo.r a start, if hundreds of intoxi­ca~ed minors can find it, surdy a sober police ofticer is at a distinct advantage.

Also, keg parties are hardly re­nowned for their subtlety - they usually resembleAllilllalHollsemore than l\TO officer lYe're IIO! bal'illg all illegal part)' bOllse. The semi-naked cheerleader hanging from the bal­cony, the ten ,,'as ted guys having a

peeing competition in the garden, the stoners blazing in the dark, the tipsy girl telling everyone that it isn't the half cup of beer but she really 100"es them and the 200-strong crowd are a bit of a giveaway.

There really can't be much else for the police to be doing. I reckon the cops have a blast - they grab a 12-pack (of doughnuts) and make a night of it!

A mate of mine crossed the road from a keg party holding a brew and

See CANUCK, page 17

16 FRIDAY, OCTOBER 1,2004,

Up close with Irshad<Manji " Laura Katsirdakis

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

Last week, Imprintconducted an inter­viewwithIrshadManji. What follows is the second half of that interview:

Imprint: As tM, (former) hpst oj Queer, Television, (bejir:stmainsfream television. show that explored .the lives oj gqy and lesbian people, can JON comment on Cana­da's new legislation pn same-sexmamage and divorce? '

Marlji: 1 do~'t consider it to be that; controversial of an issue. 1 am the kind ofpe~son that e~phasizes resp;I}si­bilities and not just rights so one of the things r say;is that remember when same;~sexmari:iageisgranteqsam~~s~x ceuple$ will have not just ~quaIlty<;>f benefits but also' of burdens; nQt just of ~ q~~,also of responsibilities. When y.ou put it in thQse terms -

callingit"ga);nlarriage';-callit~hat­ever the he!l r()u 'o/ant, Sllme s~x~­ions, same sex domestic partnershlps, call itwhatever you want as long as the practical reality is that the benefits and burdens are shared equally. That's all I'm interested,in.

Can yo;we~fJin 1m the entrance'oj gqy and Ie.rbian isSJI~s into tbe mainstiea1J1{

, Let's takeE1I~npegeneres. We know what a ro~h#de she's had for, simply uttenng those twO, words: i'm'

gay. ~he fact~!lt ~h~ flOW: hosts a talk show tha~ Q1s9i~s,e~, ~vt:fythl,ai Urld¢t, th~ sun, ~at$e itev:~really ;h~st~ wear her s~~uali,tY 9n I}ers!ee-ve; duil: from time to tiilie;,slie~~quip ab9ut' it but enme ep~Qde~ c~ passby\Vith~ , out her ever h~villgt9g.q th~e~. %>t because she's, ~~hatnea b~t~~PlI because there is no reason to~ I thiiik that's very ~tt ' , '"

The beauty ofmains1:reamulg

you>.i;e~g~ple ah~pi~eof " the.S1:~ry,d\aPthey're usUilly told~ ,. thafs;~BC!ri i~Wns Qn them that qus <,' ,li1~timitJ:e is thddn.4;ofequality thatthey can buy" beJ~~:tlywfiJ

into 6~causenobody is getting a ffeei ride here. , ,.

r~ealize that the word "rnattiage'", ~ei~arily;~es peQple:AndI must t~r y6ir, lith, ,!lQt inlliateik on

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bian you cannot be a MtJ;s.litti.'t ':\. This kind of mairistfeammg;!1-

lows people to, be multifaceted and' allows us to. appreciate the contradic­tiQns in each other, which is a yery human thing.

How do you live with the contro1Je1!Y that this book brought into your lift? I heat jou have something in common with~alfnan RNshdie since the book's releaSe. (Both du-, thors recic!',ed death threats dfter the reletlS8

oj thier re'Spective boo,ks.) '.' " " I didhave aconversationwithhiin~'

I was ~itting doWn ~ write't;he boo~i, ' remember asking hirn,' ''Why WQuld'

, you support the writing qf a boo~tlxat, mayinviteintomylifethekindQfhavoc' and, frankly, violencethafhas bet!nvis~

, ited upon yours?" And,withQut any hesitation he replied ~ta bookism~~e

, importarit than a life. I laughed, thiD.k-' ing, "this guy is a joker."

He said, ''No', ~o. Let me expJ.am: Whenever a writer puts out a thQUght, itcanbedisagree9withvlgorously,vehe~

, mendy, even viblendy, but it Cantl9t J;e unthQught. Thatis the greatpennanent

. gift that a writer gives to this worl!i." The implicatiQn was, even if your'

life is snuffed out as a result of this bOQk, just know that your ideas can- ' not be' snuffed out. Arid so, I tQok great strength from that. ",

Tell us a little hit about how you Iwed cifier the book's release.

; "Th~~J;1p'~est-tq~gQd.truthis th~Jr, , attuliltyd6ri't feartoimy J.tte. I~~~{

factnevcr been afraid. The~so~ I h;la ' a bodyguard at the beginning, and that I still have a state-of-the-art security system at home, is that the police have recommended thQsemeasures. I w~t to, be able to maintain a goodwill relatiQnship with the police. When they advise, r take that advice. They know better than I do' what the situ­ation Qutthere is like. Moreover,I have friends, fanilly - my partner for ex­ample - to also be responsible for. There's no point in cavalierly saying because I'm not afraid for my life I'm not gQing to protect those people around me.

At the beginning of the book's

release' tnerewere sOnie'very clear measures that r was advised to take - and I have - but nQtice, for example, that 1 don't have a body­guard with me. In fact, mQnths ago' I decided to relinquish the use of my bQdyguard, even though I continue to, receive death threats - and I do,. The re$lson r decided to use him only very sparingly is that if I'm gQing to have credibility conveying to young Muslims that it is possible to dissent with Orthodoxy and live, I can't have,

a bigl;>urlyguylQoking over my shoJll­der ev,et;ywhere I gO,. It senq~ the wrong message; it WQuid ~e hypo­critical and at the, very least I have to lead by example. So', where the police insist r take that protection, r will do SQ. But if they do' notinsist, I won't. I am very resolute in the integrity of what I've done and why I'm doing it.

It might be naIve, it might be stu­pid, but I'm willingtQ take that chance.

editor@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

How to function in modern society

lipamll R1I1IC.aurINn HlRAMB'S Hllfl "Commercial society whose members are essentially ascetic and indifferent in social ritual has to be provided with blueprints and specifications forevok­ing the righttone for every occasion" -l\farshallMcluhan (dude who said "the medium is the message.'')

This quote caused me great anguish. Namely, I did not know what "ascetic" meant According to, MSWordThesau­rus, "ascetic" meant"abstemious."That cleared things up.

Basically, Mcluhan felt that people must be taught social etiquette. Well Mcluhan, there's a new Marshallin town and his nanleis Dr. Herambone. Today

boys and girls, I will describe stuff that you just shouldn't do.

,We are nQt talking about how to "hold yeur frickin' fork orwhiOlhand to, wipe your ass with. Instead, we are talk­ing about common sense actiens that are integral for survival. Sayyouattend a party-youdonotwantto be shunned from the group because you do stupid shit inadvertently. As an aside, being a douchebag is the number one cause of societal banishment Smelling like poo is a close second.

Thefirstsituationdescribesbeverage­consuminggatherings.lfyouwanttohost akeggeragainstyourroommates'wishes, don'tdQitlThat'sworsetbanfartinginan elevator and blaming the blind kid

Hewever, if you are stubbom, at the very least make sure all of your room­mates' personal alcohQI is hidden. As kegs ruri dty, anxiety levels increase. Ten bucks for two cups of beer does not make Herambone a happy camper. He 'willraid your fridge IQoking for anything

alcoholic. Ifhe finds full beer bottles,he will disseminate this bounty to all thirsty patrons. Shit, he will drink your pickle juice under desperate circumstances.

Thenextday,inhabitantsofthehouse are going to wonder what happened to all their personal booze. The kegger hosts will have sQme 'splaining to do.

Quick tip of the day: When fQur people are shadnga spliff, taking more than three tQkes in one pass is not kosher.

Tis next situation seems harmless, but is the fitst step towards douchebagitis.

So you're perusingMSN looking to chat with anyQne because it's a Ftiday nightandyourimaginarygirlfriendbroke up with you Suddenly someone appears online with the coolest freaking MSN name ever. Scheisse, this name is gold.

See SOCIAL page 17

FlUDAY. OCTOBER 1, 2004 17

Catherine the . Great· on Canuck: the British take on Canadian "life • • treattngw<;)men right Continued from page 15 standably, I have some reservations

about getting drunk with my pass­port and visa with me, so I am disinclined to take them. However, this wasn't good enough, so after 10 heated minutes I moseyed on home to get my passport (not a happy Charli). I then returned from my 40 minute round trip . to show the bouncermore 10 than I would need to board an international flight. The Bomber's great; but it's hardly out of this world.

,Adam Johns DIINER WITH iDAM This week's guest - Catherine the Great

The setting- Catherine the Great, Empress of Russia, is se~ted with Adam at a small table in. the world-famous Restaurant Bocuse; 'outside Lyon, France. The restaurant . is, as would be expected, really nice­looking.

Catherine the Great: How are you todqy, Adam?

~dam: Catherine, I'm so upset, . not even this Soupe au truffes noires

VGE, plat cree en 1975pow:l'Elysee, ' can cheer me up.-Ihat' s actually why , I scheduled this meal with ,you. I trust you.ropinion more than any­one else; after all, you. were one of . Russill's mostliccomplished rulers.

. Y oti~ven annexed Crimea from the Turks.! I know a thing or two about annexation, and I can tell you that that one was extra--;vicked. So what haveyoubeen up to lately, since you retired from that empress thing? t~ itliv#b.un_pi~1JfJ ~~ M11I)!JI,> fommanding' int~milttiof{id peac~~epiil&. missions for the UN, a little break-danc­ing and teaiJing w'omlm's stt/dies at thiJ S orbonne. You might also be interested to hear that! recentlY. invented the iPod:

YO,u invented the iPod? Umm,. accordlng tomy co-op resume, I did that as well. I guess I'll have to up­date that. See, Catherine, I knew you were the person to ask. I require some advice on a sensitive matter. As you may have heard, I have come ~nder criticism ;ecently for my sexist attitudes and objectification of women.

Adam, I may actuallY be able to helP you. You are clearlY a jackass. However,

• I feel th;t rather than being a malicious jackass in the vein of, say, Mussolini, you, 'along with matry men are in the category of the well-meaning yet hope­lesslY confused jackass.

Y Qumean like the <::aptainof the ·Exxon Valdez? ThankoYou, ,that's the nicest compliment I've got all

week. Basically, I need you to teach me 'how to be a modern, enlight­ened male and how to treat women

. with respect. I can handle sociolo­. gists hating me, but not women.

First of al4 when examining sexist attitudes, one of the first things to look at is the media; The dating, sex and relationship advice in popular m,!gai/nes ~

likeCosmo andMaxirp, Aerpetuate false bilt poweiful myths that men and women are either fromdijJerent planets (i.e. Mars and Venus/or are enemy combat­ants in the battle of the sexes. Sexist .

, attikldes. and oijectijication of women can reallY onlY thrive in a society when women are sten as an exotic or enemy - , "other. "

"1 think it . unlikely that any·· . of these men

would think it acceptable if

other'men were to make crude

sexual comments '~;'!"·a;~\4:~i~t~'

sisters or daughters."

- Catherine the Great

Curse thee, Maxim! And to think, I trusted your advice on updating my fall wardrobe. I feel so ... be­trayed. Women are not the enemy! That kind of outside-the-box think~ ing is exactly what I need.

You know, the funtry thing about sexism 'is that. mos/young men, you included, have mothers and sisters whom thl!)' lov~ and respect. As thl!)' get older, and ifthl!)' are heterosexual, most will have gir(friends, wives, and daughters. I think it unlikelY that atry of these men would think it acceptable if dther men were to make crude sexual comments about their si-rters or daughters. It's the "disconc nect, " to lise p.opular parlance, that is at the heart of the problem.

Soci~l: behaviour improper Continued from page 16

The sheer originality of the name , alone will' give you 13 extra points in ypur ascent up the MSN socialladdet. As an aside, MSN has an unspoken: social ladder where people with shnazzy MSN names nile. Those with unoriginal mimes a;re perceived as bot­tom-feeders.

Thoughts permeate your head­"Damn, this nan1e is better than any­thing I c~uld ever think of. What should I do? .. Fuck it. J\.Iine po:"", muahahhahaha." Then you proceed to block that person and all the mutual

contacts you have with them. ~s an aside, here is what God thinks:

God ~ "Hey you littJe dipshit. What'd I tell you about invoking me in your lamearticles?Don't make me sinite you boy!"

. Ahhh, thanks God. 5'0000, the proJ>lem with this strat­

egy'is the escalation factor. All· these' . people you blocked fora perfe<tp.yinno­cent reason are going to over.3analyze the situati~n. They'll wonderwhathei­nous act they perpetrated towatrantthe MsN block. If these people simply knewofyourdeepyeamingforanMSN

You know, you're right! My ... andwas given a $130 fine by the mother IS a woman! So are, I might waiting officers. Sadly, for them, they add, the majority of my fotlllerwives didn't put the correct street name on and girlfriends! And I certainly have the ticket, so my huddy escaped -fought a number of duels to pre- party funds intact! serve ~ir 11Onour. Still, all this talk Honestly, it wasn't like Starsky raises an important question, and Hutch didn't have the time to Catherine - Now that I'm an en-. work out what street theywereparked lightened male, doe~this mean-I have t,o' curtail my penchant for Caligula-esque sexual debauchery?

Wel4 Adam; I h.ope that whilst in­dulging in your world{amous sexual deviatiry,you keep in mind that it takes two to lang.o. Popular advice for yQ.ung men and, oddlY,jor young women, often seems to be centred on pleasuring men. If a g1!Ydoesn 't know how to pleasure his female partner, he should keep his hands to himse(f, if you get my drift.

FinallY, I think the beSt thing that male university students can do is t.o cultivate friendships with women. From my three centuries of life experience, I've observed that the young men who seem to have the healthiest attitudes towards women are those who have female friends and regularlY socialIze in mixed groups . W0' don't you·consider actuallY making friends with some women?

You know what, that'~ a great idea. Oprah has been asking me to join her poker game. I.think I may take her up o,n it this week Lord. l{no~s I o~i thatti)t phil; s6mf pa);back for that time he cleaned me out at baccaradnMonte Carlo. Thank you so much, Catherine. I've turned over a neW leaf. I am no longer the sexist gorilla I once was. I am now a much more civilized, sensitive, and enlightened gorilla, much like Kokb, the ape that speaks with sign lan­guage, or that loveable Mighty Joe Young .. , Adam, I'm so proud of you, I've de­

cided to give you a present. Wow! A bottler_What's inside? It's the alJtidote to the poison I put in

YOJlr trtlffle soup. N.ow come here and give fitr: a hug, you big lug. .

Adam would like to thank Dr. Rhiannon Bury, director of UW's women's studies program, for con­tributing Catherine the Great's in­sightful advice.

ajohns@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

name, perhaps they could understand. Nah, they'd delete your ass for being majorly weird: Welcome to planer douchebag - pop~ation: you!

Quick tip' of the day: Stealing someone's' insulin am't right. Just ain't ?ght.

Dr~Herambone'smanytipscanl.>e found in his self-help hook entitled, "Confronting the Dou~he from Within."

hramachandran@imprint.u..vaterloo.ca

on. Back home, drinking is really no

big deal. You have to be 18 by law, but most people are drinki.ng from

·about r6 if not younger. Youcer­tairiIy.don't need IDin#le same way! Fot example, the 'flrstWednesday of term I headed over to the Bomber Qike all cool aliens). I have a govern­mentissued, photographic, UKdriv- ' er's licence and a WATcard. Under-

But that's about all I miss from home so far. However, my supply of Tetley Tea and bland biscuits is run­ning dangerously low! There's trou-, ble brewing --.. I feel my cynicism returning ...

Charli Franklin

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~18 1~l\ II IT}), I' -N' r rp I,""}? /\ rr'l rI),E~ S .In.. J.1 1 r . .-f ... :-1. - t. -.. 1 -' k FRIDAY, OCTOBER 1, 2004

There's more to Waterloo than school Stacy Morris SPECIAL TO IMPRINT

Now that the vast majority of our Frosh are underage, the' general sentirilent around resi­dence is,' "I'm bored, what's there to do in Wa.terloo?" Well folks, here are some fun things to keep yourself occupied with.

1. Visit the zoo animals at Waterloo Park - The park is open 24/7 and FREE. Get up close and personal with the local calves, miniature hQrSeSiemus, piglets, English fal­l~w deer, rabbits, turkeys, chickens, goats,

. peacock,s, swans, miniature donkeys and lla­mas. Always a hilarious time.

2. Become a poohhark - Pool Paradise is all ages every night. Every day in October is $10 for all you can play pool (www.poolpatadise.ca).

3. Catch am~vie~ The Turnkey desk sells $9 movie pass~s (cheaper formlttinees) for Gal­axy:cinema, wruchis huge and shows all the latest flicks (www:.galaxycine.~as,com), Princess CiQ­ema shows amazing documentaries, inae~~d­ent films and much more cool stuff (www.princesscinema.com). .

4. Shop till you drop - Conestoga Mall is­a short bus ride away (www.grt.ca)and can definitely occupy a few h<:>urs of your day. Stores . include American Eagle, Gap, Iloathouse, Cam­pus Crew, Sport Check and more (www.conestogimall.com).

5. Bowl your heart out - Waterloo Lanes offers cosmic and regular five-pin bowling. Great for groups Of even a date. (519) 886-2900

. 6. Skate ors~.!-Campus Rec offers free skate and swim times each week for you to go out and horse around. Check their web site for schedules (www.campusrec.uwaterloo.ca).

7. 'take in the theatre - UW's drama oepartnient puts on. many fabulous shows each year. Check out their season schedule (www.drama.uwaterloo.ca). Waterloo Stage Theatre offers it variety of productions that you can enjoy (www.waterloostagetheatre.com).

8, Chill out at <:;hapters -.::;;;;,' Enjoy a great coffee at Starbucks and peruse the books ~t

'. Chapters. Definitely a leisurely way to spend an afternoon (www,d:iapters.4:!digo:ca).

9;)II~einor~ friends - Join a club, team or take lessons to meet people. www.feds.cahas a full listing of registered on-campus clubs so you can meet people with similar interests and attend great dub events.

10. Get your game on ~ The Cove, in the basement of the SLC, has tons to do such as pool, networked gaming and video/arcade games ·1;0 pass your time.

.·11. Cheer on the Warriors - Go show some school spirit at one of the many ~arrior varsity games. Check out team schedUles and specialevents atwww.campusrec.uwaterloo.ca.

. 12.Getjiggy-FedHallhaSanallagesnightevety Sunday;doorsopen@10p:mCheckwww.feds.ca for all the latest info on cool events on campus.

.13. Hit the trails'-Waterloo has many trails and if you want to cycle and need a bike you can borrow one from the Turnkey desk. The cost is $5 per term pll.ls a '$20 damage deposit. ·www.bike.uwaterloo.ca.AlistofWaterlootrails can be found atwww.city.waterloo.on.ca/PWS/ Parks/Trails.

14. Get bubbly - If you have not tried bubble tea already then check it out 'cause these specialty drinks are all the rage. Check out the Tea Shop in University Plaza and enjoy cool

. drinks and board games with your new CQol friends.

15. Treat yourself - Sole and The Rtlde Native are two of many great restaurants in Water- . 100. Bothhaveambiance and areabitpricey for the student budget, but if you have 'something or someone to celebrate then theyareworth chetkiQg out. Rude Native takes Watcard flex dollars . (www.rudenative.caandwww.sole.ca).

16. Putt putt to St.] acobs-Close by in St. Jacobs is mini putt, the Farmers Market and cute historic village to shop in and walk around. St. Jacobs is only 'l5-minute drive away

. (www.stjacobs.com) ..

When I hear ¢,e "I'm bored" comment my fIrst response is, ''What did you do back home?" Without fail, the answer is that they just chilled with friends. So - the number one solution.! can offer is to get involved and niake good friends' because this is your new home and WaterIoo is defInitely chill.

Great non-alcoholic places to hang out. Cloc.kwise from top right -animals in'Waterloo Park, Soh! restaurant, Waterloo Stage Theatre ..

arts@impri.nt.uwaterloo.ca

Anthropologist in sear of common sense Great story, annoying narrator

. page 21

~Craig Cardiff to rock-out Bomber-style Arda.Ocal IMPRINT STAFF

Warrior Nation-affiliated artist Craig Cardiff, the eclectic artist "prone to fits of edginess and obnoxious honesty," brings his show to the Bombshelter Pub on Friday, October first.

In his more than ten year career producing and performing music, Craig Cardiff has earned a reputation for being a unique and quirky artist. He combines his talents as a storyteller with his love of folk music to create a show that captivates audiences with smart lyrics and vivid anecdotes, em­bedded in rich melodies.

Cardiff, a now regular to the Bombshelter Pub in the SLC, con­ceded fond memories of the Pub during}Us last v'isit in May.

"It's neat to be -at the Bomber. I used to play here when I was 19 and 20. I t's kind of neat to come back and see that thewa~i1rooms are still~i:f(the same state;o(di~t,epair and the room

.'1'. J"" .",:

still has its excellent, grubby vibe that makes it work. Some things just stay the same."

Since his early days as a UW stu~ dent performing around campus, Cardiff has now produced six al­bums, the most recent releases being Soda (2002) and Live at Ginger's on Barrington S treet(2003). The acoustic charmer also donated a track to the Warrior Nation charity compilation CD;

Cardiffis "a big believer in the qui<>k and dirty" whenitcomes to producing his albums; he talked about placing more emphasis on "recording a mo­ment in time," like spending a few days creating an album as opposed to many months.

Ten years would certainly bring many experiences, and Cardiff carries a wealth of stories from his travels. Not many musicians can boast challenging the great Polka King, Walter Ostenik, to an accordipn d.ueL

. "I was drinking copiously. I played

the accordion, not that well; but I challenged him to a polka-off. Security helped me out [of the building] and that was sort of the end of that en­counter."

In May, Cardiff was asked about a grander-scale accordion duel with uw concert programmer Marc Thususka, of which Cardiff is still aw.aiting an answer.

When askedifhe had any advice for aspiring musicians, Cardiff encour­ages people, with respect to the music industry, to "take advantage of -the new medium and realize that there are no record deals in Canada. Don'tlook at how things have been for models. :Make your own modeL"

Tickets for the 19 plus concert are $7 for UW students and $8 for non-UW students. For more· information on Cardiff, including his famed "living room shows" and how to book one, visitwww.craigcardiff.com.

aocal@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Crai~ Cardiff will rock the Bomber this Friday October 1.

RalliSport Challenge 2 takes the Xbox by ~storm

1-UP Rallisport Challenge 2 Xbox $39.99

I must admit that as a devout RPG fan, I have a hidden lust for racing games. A well-made racing game can potentially keep me up all night and playing until I have unlocked every track and car. There's something about going in excess ofa hundred miles per hour around a ninety degree bend without actually dying that just gets me going. The speed, the rush, the immortality. It's all so great.

Now, I was a little sceptical about

this game in particular. TheXSN games usually exude money-grab and seem like-dw}'-'xemcade with very litde love. Sure~th.ere areexceptions, like Project Gotham 2. For the most part, the XSN line is like the generic brand of EAgames.

I was wrong to pre-judge. Yery wrong. Rallisport Challenge 2 was made with so much love 1 w0l1ld draw the analogy to it being Juliet, and the developers are her collective Romeo.

Every litde detail was seen to with an unbelievable amount of care. If you slam sideways in to a barrier, that side is damaged; if you accidentally spin . around and hitthe back of your car on a lamp post, the rear window breaks; if you drive through sand, your car gets dusty.

The smgle most important feature in any racing game is the driving me­chanics. You want the car to feel as

much like a real car as possible. Rallisporj: 2 sets the bar on this field too. You are able to tune J;,our <::a~ by a number of options ranging from the very basic (tire selection, steering re­sponse), to the very advanced (power balance, break balance, suspension). Sometimes, with enough stupidity, you can create the most perverse auto­mobile on the road. One which just cannot drive straight, nor at all, on tarmac.

The tracks and racing modes are two features integral to a good racing game: Rallisport2 has this nailed down. to the floor. There are an enormous number of tracks and five different racing modes, the most fun of which is ice racing.

Although all of the main features are done well, Rallisport 2 does have a few areas that need improving. In the outside-the-car view, the car is far to big. It takes up most of the bottom

half and some of the top half of the screen . .. ,Na"vigation is han<.lled in two ways. Some modes have a co-driver who calls out directions to you like "left three into right five," where others have a simple mini-map. The first one is, from what I under-

. stand, actual rally-style directions. It's rather hard to get used to, but after awhile you learn to understand. The mini-map comes with it's own problems. Given all the twists and turn.s of a rally course, ones eyes are oftytf drifting to the map to antici­pate the next turn. This map disap­pears for 4-5 seconcIs every so often. Usually, it vanishes just as you need to look at it, and you end up careening through a barrier. Oh, and yes, some barriers are careen­through-able ..

I recommend this game for both fans of the genre, and closet-race-car

drivers like myself. It has a host of unlockables to keep you playing, and they just released a free Xbox live up­date with new cars and tracks. Vroom.

talamen@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

20

Mixtape Madness: good songs, bad- albums Ian Blechschmidt IMPRINT STAFF

As the saying (and physics students everywhere) dictates, what goes up must come down. In the music busi­ness, some float down with the grace of a feather, while others crash to earth with the force of a catapulted hippo. This mixtapeis about the latter. We're not talking about o~e::hit-wonders, either --:;::-this is about musicians with multip~e hit.~ingles and rnil.lion-sell­ing records who simply drop a bomb.

. When the smoke dears from one of these "career ender$;'there is often overlooked but altogether quality music that gets lost in the shadow bf the overall failure of the alb~; this mix is about getting some .of these songs.J:):ut into the open.

Aqua--"Halloween" With,theirdebutalbum,Aquarium,

. spawpirtg half a· dozen singies' and a fish~tank full of music videos, Aq.ua seemed like they were going to be the next big thing in international" Scandinavian :dance. They wrote bouncy, catchy tunes that were decep­tively sophisticated - the hilariously parodic breakout single, ''Barbie Girl," for example. Three years later, how­ever, when Aquarius was released, it seemed like the fun was pretty much. over. The single, "Cartoon Heroes," was too serious'and overt to be bouncy, catchy or sophisticated, and basically served as the screen doOr jfl Aqua's submarine. Skip it in favour of this

seemingly S cream-inspu:ed track so ri7 diculous that only Aqua could make it this much fun.

The Cranberries"""':' "Forever Yel- . 10w.S~~s" ;;,With/,~ehit single ''Dre~s'' (whichstill.appears in every movie 'ever),arid~i~massively successful s~phoniorealbum, No Need toArgue,

. Irelwd's:Grltnberries turned their tangy~sw~ls~metimes-politicalrock

. into Piip,:~~#l;success. Their third :albUl;tl.·tfQ,.'tie~Faithfulpeparted, ap­pea,red tOhllfaess the$ame things that mad€ itsp.ted~~cesso:tS!ll~~inillion sellers. Bdt·f8r some reason, it was around this time that they: simply seemed to fade away. Though it fea­tures songs like the furious anti-heroin stinger "Salvation" and this sweet­but-tough percussion-driven irack,For the Faithful Departed seemed to signal the faithful departure of The Cranber­ries.

The Smashing. Pumpkins­"Annie 'Dog'~

As one of the biggest and most deftnitive alt-rock outfits of the nine­ties, The Smashing Pumpkins' aero­plane was flying high after the re,lease of their multi-tnillion selling, double- " disc monster, Mellon Collie and the ltifi­nite Sadness. Listening to the an themic hard rock of '~Bullet With Butterfly Wings" ahd ,the soaring drama of ''Tonight, TOi'tigiJt," it is no surprise that the drastitallyundersm1:ed fol­low-up, Adore, 'Was like a limp-kneed

kick in the gourds for all but the most hardtore Pumpkinheads. Nonethe­less, it still produced some beautifully bitter-sweet tunes lik~ this underrated . piano-driven gem.

Radiohead - "The National An­them"

They achieved moderate success .with I!ablo RonV'. They achieved big success with The Bends. And they be­came one of the biggest bands on the planet ~th the deliciously paranoid techno-introspection of OK Computer.

'No wonder, then, that Radiohead's fourth album, Kid A, was one of the' most anticipated records of the year-

.. or that its radical departure from the guitar-driven rock ofits predecessors brought .their popularity crashing to earth like a Roswell UFO. ThougIiKid A (or as one TorontO DJ is f~ndof calling it, the "indiscriminate noise album") didn't compl<::tely sink Radiohead's career, its sheet, heady weirdness alienated all but the most. math-rockinestofmath-rock~. How­ever, if you are able to penetrate the opaque outer layer of KidA (and its follow-up, Amnesiac), there is some sweet, sweet music inside, including this track, which irresistibly inspires you to sttutlike a well-dressed android assassin.

Michae1Jackson-''TheLostChil­dren';

Now, no one will claim that lYfichael Jackson's career is over. He's still got legions of fans. He's still got

more money than any person wo:uld know how to spend in a life­time. And he's still the undefeated king of pop. But any song from ImJin- '

. cible (honestly, I just picked the most ironictitleI could find from the track listing) desetves to be at the top of this list simply for the fact that it signals the official end of Jackson'S career !IS a musician and thebeginning ofhiscareerasapro. -fessional celebrity freak. The album cost big and- soM small, a discrepancy thatwould sink any other· artist.·But "captain bad touch" remains in the ce­lebrity neWs just about· every damn . week. " Whyi'" • He' owns 'his own)'

CallZone.ca fI$20 for an entire year.!!! '

. FRIDAY, OCTOBER 1, 2004

gical-style masks in public. And he dresses his kids in elaborate, flowery face coverings-when he's not dan­gling them over hotel railings. Michael Jackson may still have a career in the media, but it's clear that his music career' has crumbled and sloughed off, just like - well, you know.

ianb@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

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search' of • In Anthropologist common sense

Digging deep into the past makes· an interesting story w1:U~h is marrec;l by a: flawed n~rrator

The Bone Woman By Clea Koff . Alfred A Knopf Canada

Her story is fascinating to me, mainly because I have no previous knowledge offorensic anthropology

. and, have never had access to any direct experience with sites of geno­cide.Any reader would be enthralled . by the story and frnd themselves rapidly tiUcing it in.

Thewayitis told,and the narrator herself, ateunbe-

the official 'reasons' were in factrheto­ric-packed justifications designed to dilute populat resistance to commit­tingcrimesagainsthumanity ... Idon't believe government officials were ma­terially concerned with ancient battles or religious or ethnic takeovers. Rather they were focused on real issues of sustaina!>ility and power."

Hm, so you're say­lievably irritat-ing. Not only. She encounters

ing that people are greedyandwilidohor­rible things to advance their own weatth and' ' power? That's ,a new one.

does Koff spend too much time going into 'minute detail about disagree­ments with co­workers (which is of no use to the reader), but' she approaches her stoty from

sQme of humanity's

darkest deeds She goes on, "An­other crucial condition seems to be a populace ,susceptiblt; tobribes of both material and power; willingto accept looted big-screen televi­sions or plots of lands

byanalyzingthe­bones of

victims, in mass , graves

I' thought I was the most idealistic, the :pf;)r~~ctive • nai:ve personalive,;b~i I was. wrong., ;of .. ()De" who

(lea KOff~s th.epnze.. .. ~l,.:· ;,:" nru.vely b~ijeves that digging up the Kqffseems to' ,. " "Cll.ri'go bodiesof;~ople who were savagely

dehasoccurred:, murdeted:will not be difficult to dig . ~esfidi:nttfy'bc>dies bf handle. .people;bl:UtaJ.lymurdet(,~ mdnot come When Koff unearths the body of out.cfni<;~~and traumatized. Really, a chilo who has a pocket full of mar-woyli'-this be possibleUIJE~F any dr- bles, she muses over the tragedy of

,~~" .' , .... \~!'~ .-"*-',-

e6mStan~s.~ the situation. This is natural, anyone ~':;;,K~f'f tells the story of her work as a would find themself thinking simi-

1t1~~~1~~~·Buttheco·nclqSionthat :ml~~ns mR~ ;.os:giaj', rpat1a,,:sht!f~tthe book'scloseisquite '"-~J<osovo. Sh~ efl'counters some of ~ernatkible;onewondershowshe

humanity's darkest d~edsby analyzing could go through these experiences the bones of victims, piled unce~~and not glean something more sub-ously into either mass graves or shallow stantial (J:on;l,.the!U. holes beneath the surface of the eatth. : "IneachbftheplacesI'veworked,

,

in exchange for mur­dering their neighbours."

Va, Clea, people s~ck. But hon­esdy, have you beenlivingin a cave for your entire life? I can't help but think that this book would be of much greater value if the author had started with this elementaty frame of refer­ence, rather than needing to dig up bodies of genocide victims in order to realize it. ;, ,Avery interesting story, told byan

aggravatingly innocent story teller. Read it if you ate patient. 'this bookis

, available at the campus bookstore.

Laura Katsirdakis, editor-in-chief

21

Another contribution to the musical wasteland Skye Sweetnam Noise from' the Basement Capitol

I'malways open to listening to new amsts,labourmgunderthe belief that all attists were at some point new and that they had to be given their fair shake, In listening to Skye Sweetnam's debut alb;um Noise from the Basementtl:;1ere were a few thoughts that came to mind. First, it bothered me that a few years ago I might have actually enjoyed this kind of music and its message of boo to boys. Sec­ondly, it really felt like I was listening to my kid sister's angst)' response to high school heartbreak.

The basic feel of the album is that of "this is who I am and if you don't like it you don;t have to look at me,"

, which seems to be a theme of many female attists at the moment. As I have pointed out to many otherpeo­pIe, i(s kind of hard not to look when you're throwing shit in my face. Most of the songs deal with suchcomplex issues as boys, school, and self-im­age:Musically speaking it's not a very'

, mature album, the chords ate pretty simplistic and it didn't get me think- .

ing, motivated to dance or sing along - all the usual reactions to top 40 musk Her lyric "hope my CD doesn't tank" seep1s to be a reasonable thing to hope for, but my prediction is that it will. . There were a few s~and-out songs in this otherwise 'mundane CD, in­Cluding"I don't really like you." It has a less bubble gum feel than her other songs and a slighdy more complex baseline, butit's not hiding how much this girlis aiming to be the next A vtil, which isn't exacdy a high careeraspi~ ration: Such creative lines as "you and your friends are dense, you don't make any sense" f!1ight give you an idea as to the age group Skye is aiming for. . Her cover of "Heart ofGlass"can

only be described as tragic. Not that the song was butchered' or that it was particularly bad singing, more that Deborah Hatry sang the original and if you aten't Deborah Harry chances at~ you shouldn't sing her songs . Fortunately for Skye the original is an amazing song, so even a bad coveds decent.

Generally this is a tolerable CD, not something that I would person­:ally buy or encc;>urage my friends to go out and buy. Although, I believe an old floor mate would Jove this CD, as I'm sure would many heattbroken, empowered, angst-ridden high sch~:)01 gi,t:~s. ~t seeITjS fitting that Skye would en tide her CD Noisefrom the Basement as this is the kind of shit I would pound on roommates doors to turn off, -because it is just noise.

Elena Sterling, special to imprint

Definitely n'ot your average preac4er What Makes a Great Organization?

TilT!. Alamenciak IMPRINT STAFF

Digging.deep into the past years, there ate many memorable comic series.'Per­haps the most memorable of them is Gatth Ennis' epic, The Preacher.

. Ennis tells the saga of a man inhab­ited by a being created of the union of Angel and Demon. Pretty deep theo-

. logical shit so far, but it gets better. This man,Jesse Custer (The Preacher), has a complicated and dirty past, filled ~ith American Gothic-esque family relations ami highway hi-jinx to the ma}(. Jesse grew up on an extraordinarily p<;r­verted traditional Christian farm. He was raised mosdy by his two uncles who subjected him to beatings beyond be-

I lief. But I won't tell you anymore, be­cause that's the

, beautTofthestory. J esse is portrayed

as a very heroic man ... haunted by. things out of his cOhtrol. fights like a warrior, and loves -like don juan, all the

. while on a.mrstic~l quest to

confront God (the Christian one), and [rnd outwhy he aband~ned the citizens of Earth. I

Along the way, Jesse runs into numerous 'freakish friends including the Irish vampire Cassidy, and his

. "Juliet" - Tulip. The story is told in a chilling and envelbpingway,slowly revealing bits and pieces ofJ esse and his companion's horrific pasts.

The art in the series is quite sim­ply beautiful. Every issue is flaw­lessly drawn in a way that makes you

see the emotion in the chatacters through their positions and facial expressions. Fine details and dark colors. ate used ex­

ceedingly well to create a gro­tesque atmosphere. . ,

. If you're looking for a great story matis deep and packs:a lot of ac­tion, then Tbe Preacheris for you. It combin:.es the southern gothic

gentewith the real world and thesupernatunil in ' an ingenious foknula. It is definitely worth the in­vestment.

talamen@imprintuwaterioo.ca

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22

Melodic lasso of introspection EI.a Malkovsky IMPRINT STAFF

musical talents feeds Luke's "schizophrenic sense of needs" for' group collaboration as well as independenrcreativity. There's method

From the sunset h()j~izon he comes riding in, to his madness, one that is deeply rooted in with his trusty guitar on his back, his songwriting traditional Americana with a subtle modern' pen behind h,is ear a;"d an ',Outlaws' song in his under-layer and. a. great. focus on thought heart . .This V~n(;ouver homegrown and bred provoking lyrics, which he notes as the most cowboysays'AlcihaManitoba' and is coming to . " important part. To the redundant questiQn \,\Taterloo tocaptUrq'oursense of so lInd with his of asking to define his style Doucet replied melodiclassoofmtrosp·ection. " that "a ~tyle boxes you in [a

Luke Doucet's 2001 solo'" painfully true statement in tci~. album titled Alohil Milnitobil is day's music scene] and I'rna first of the lone star chronicMs ~'A -positive happy student of all things

and the title is representative influenceQj~y'f; i.,~.q.rx:bH:~~'~': '. : ~~~i:~ l~;;:~~~~r~~~~~~::;~ vvol'kJs t ' ,.'.. "'i~~~g~St~::~:,:e~~~~~: withManitoba.",Fromthean-ways a pO' '. $-Y~ac~,fe~dit.brcorningoutto guish ofa love for a retreating • ;. . .', ,.i~.,: ·:.seeLukeDoucetatWaterloo~s home town and the eye-tear- . mfluence~my) ,Stll~ligh1:~6cialClub this Sun-ing lights of the big city, com- life"~~:'r:;~ day,.Octdber"3rd. It is

bineclwith his lust for music, _ LUkf!JjiJ1!c~t . gPt<'.nteed to be fl. good show Luke fires out tunes that will.::> ,.... "oprlrheriremisethat "the Star~ surprise even your deepest - •• 'lightlounge, that bar and that subconscious prejudice. Luke." '. . comm~i1:jiofpe6ple,.ispiob- .... doesnotlet these emotional beasts defeat him, aMy one of [Luke's] top aYe places to' play." rather he swings his magical lasso and captures Ifthat;lS:U(,ltenbu,gh to satisfy your musical them by the throats creating harmonious songs,. hurigertune' in. to his second "live and vety admitting that "a positive influence on myhuman:'albumccorningollt this week titled work isn't always a positive;: influence on my· OJltltlw~; f

life ... my own poor judgment informs my muse ,.'AsEor future plans, Doucet revealed that, more than anything else." "I'm gonna keep making music, plaringwith

. Having played with artists such as Danny ,as many people as possible and keep learn­Michel, Oh Suzanna, Sarah McLachlan, Blue . ing." Not a bad message to all musicians out Rodeo, Chantal Kreviazuk anq Deliiium as well there. . as ring-leading Veal, Doucet has now also made his solo mark. Such a notorious diet of various emalkovsky@impririt.uwaterloo.ca

Chiropractic ... . The Right. Choice For V ~ur Future!

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Logan College of Chiropractic gives you the skitls .to help patients get well through non-invasive healthcare while preparing you to earn a' substantial income .... commensurate with yoyr pOSition as a DOctor . of Chiropractic. Most DC's work in a private practice setting, providing time for family anp other important quality of life priorities.

With a substantial Canadian student population, Logan College is well versed in issues tha~ affect . you as a Canadian. Our staff of international advisors will help you navigate the process of . beginning your studies in the United States .. Contact logan College at 1~800-533-9210 or at 10ganadm@logan'.edu to receive an information packet describing the world's fastest growing health profession, You can also visit our website at www.logan.edu.

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FRIDAY, OCTOBER 1, 2004

Harper, and Blind .Boys of Alabama An 'enligh~ening collaboration .. pep Harper and The Blind Boys Of Alabama '

There will be a light Virgin '

There Will Be il Ugh! isfheflrst'official f~llc length collab.oration by Ben Harper and the GrammyAward winning Blind Boys ofAIa­bama. The album offers listehers 11 tracks of funk, soul, gospel and blues and is a musit:al experience like never before. Many'of the.sOrigs; are Harper originals and there are obvio\is elements of his previous releases.

This album features country gospel classics like "Mother Pray" and "Satisfied Mind" as well as a cover of Bob' Dylan's "Well, Well, Well," not to mention a remake of Harper's "PictUres of Jesus" which was originally found on the Diilmonds on the Inside album.

This album kicksoffwith "Take My Hand,"

a funk inspired gospel tune thatindudes H~ er's tradtlmark wah-wah pedal, and is accom­panied by a Fender Rhodes electric piano and The Blind Boys offering backup vocals. The album then. takes the listener through a pro­gression oflayered vocals, eclectic musical in­struments and gospel,harmonies with songs like "Wicked Man," "Church House Steps," '~·11 th Commandment" and "There Will Be a Light."

The only concern with this album was its length -approximately 39 minutes. How~ ever, this album is unique and is a testament to the musical,talents of The Blind Boys of Alabama and BenHarper. The Blind ~oys are regarded ,by many as one of the 'world's best harmonizing. vocal group~, and have been: performing together for over6Q yellrs. Harper is a musical genills and has a v(!ry deep musical soul that stems from many different musical influences likeJirni Hendrix, Bob Dylan a~d Bob Marley, He uses those influences to give him strength and to create something that is very enjoyable to listen to. ,

This album commands respecta~d, with­out a doubt, music fal1S will appreciate the" quality and the· beauty .of this collection of songs. , , Ben Harp~r is cur.rentlyon" tour with the Dave Matthews Band and will app,clj.! along­side The Blind Bo}:s of Alabama on The Late Show with David Letterman on October 11.

Chris Mustakas,special to i~Jint

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Quantum physics. ge~s new home Neal Moogk-Soulis IMPRINT STAFF

The P~rimeter Institute (PI) will be holding a public open house Saturday to showcase its. new building" on the site Q(the old Memorial Auditorium next to Waterloo Park: Imprint took . a tour of the building prior to its.9pening.

Two things stand out upon entering the Institute. First; there are ch;llkboards every­where:Second, there"islighteverywhere. Light and chalkboards are perhaps the two most ·important things for physicists. It is onlynatu­ral that they would feature prommenrly in a building meant to foster thoughts and theories on the way the universe works. .

The building, which cost over 5200 million, has a mixture of private and public spaces. The main floor is anch~red by a large atrium that stretches the full height of the building. The glass ceiling and large windo",:s allow for plenty of natura,llight.

The auditorium will serve as a meeting place for public gatherings and' academic confer· ences. At the eastern 'end isa large auditonum that is capable of hosting just ovet200 people. Commlfuity eventsJ1ke the PI's mont±# public lecture series'will b~ held in this space. Should the auditorium capacity be met, additional seat­irlg can be made available in the atrium where audiences would watch events in the audito­rium:on a large screen. In,tbe:past year, the PI has hosted its public lectures at Waterloo Col­legiate Institute ,-- they each have attracted Iiertveen 3tiO'amt 547'people .•

Once the institute has grown to . . 1\,. . . capat:tty", th.!'! north wing of the building will nouse 80 residentre5eM~Jr()m around the world. This will make the PI the laigest re-

• search facill~' pf its kind on the. planet. Richard Epp, director of commanity outreach, said that

theproje~ size Qf the ~st:iMe is large enough to mainta.i~'an aetive .~rid dynamic research comm'\'lnit)' but rior;so large that researchers would:~egin to feel dis~cJn:nect~d from each other. "

ProF. Raymond Laflamme, a UW prOfessor. affiliated with the PI, is already impressed with thc environment that the ·building provid!'!s. "Scientists need three things to do science: fi:eedom to do research on what we believe is most important, excellent"colleagues.to ex­change idcas about that research and the means to do that research." The PI provides him and his colleagues just that environment.

Natural light floOds the ,new Perimeter Institute's auditorium.'

Since many phySicists keep unconventional hours ~ frequenrlyworking in the afternoons or late everungs- the building was designed to reflect that. In addition to a well-stockedkitcheD. there are several comfortable common areas

can share ideas with each other. With manr of "qjle\Valis also being painted black, some re­

searc1iets~ha'\Te been continuing their calcula­tionspa:;tthe edge of the blackboards and onto the adjoining walls. .

, The iridividual offices have entire walls dedi­

ci;tt¢d,t!?:bla!:kpoarcl.space. Another full wall of theiroffi'2es1lrdedicate~ to a large window that

,ove!lool.<s a reflective pool that stretches the ,:'fti1l1ength of the building. Beyond the pool is Silver Lake and Waterloo Park.

. Tl1e building is;tlmost completely com­prised of siraightlines'. The ofilycurved piece in the building is a large circul,ar staircase that links

.' the'.twO stories bf the library. \,('hile the library has the capacity to house many volumes about theoretical physics, 'it will also serve as a gate­way to the vast amount of electronic knowl-

edge available through a variety of academic and pllblic networks.

From the exterior, the buildinKoffers two completely different personas. The north wall, facing Waterloo Park, is a wall of glass punctu­ate.d by various recesses- and outcroppings. Behind this glass wall are all of the ~sdarch offices. The south wall, facing Father David Bauer Drive and the Trans-Canada Trail, is a black wall that would be reminiscent of 200.1:A Space OcfySSfY's monoliths were it not for the seemingly random placement of'windows. The placement of the windows was carefully de­signed to prevent any outside observer from understanding the number of floors hidden behind the fa<;ade.

During the warmer months, the reflective . pool '#111 serve as a pl3fe where researchers may contemplate. When asked about the possibility of an ice rink in the winter, John Matlock, director of communications replied, "I've nC?t heard of any plans to do so. If there wcre to be ice, I'd be the first to carry the puck on a breakaway."

nmoogksoulis@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Sky's the limit for X-Prize'contenders Saadia Hussain SPECIAL TO IMPRINT

The Ansari X-Prize Foundation has been work­ing for eight years to stretch the limit for entre­preneurs, rocket experts, innovators and space enthusiasts. The X-Prize, as it is lovingly called, is a $10 million prize aimed at setting off the private space tourism industry. The cash prit:e will be awarded to the ftrstprivately funded team to build a space ship capable of carrying three people to an altitude of 100 km. After a safe launch, the ship must complete the same mission within two weeks.

TheAn8ariX-PrizeFo~ndation,anon-profit organization full)' supported through private donations, was founded by Peter Diamandis in 1996. Since then, 24 teams from seven countries have registered wiih the foundation and jomed ihe private race to space. The Da Yinci Project

led by Brian Feeney (named. TheGoldenPalace.com Space Project in honour of its newest sponsor) is a strong Canadian candidate, while Canadian Arrow is another team to l~ok out for.

The team Scalcd Composites lead by Burt Rutan has already carried out the first official testing of their SpaceShipOne in Mojave Desert,

. Nevada. It was heart stopping to see the jet roll, but after the pilot regained control, viewers could allbreatl:ie again. '<

At least two American teams faced major

setbacks in·August. John Carmack, who crea~ed the videogame Doom, saw his Black 'Armadillo crash after launch, while Space Transport Cor­poration's'Rubicorll exploded in air. These tests were unmanned.

- Brian Feeney's Da Yinci Project was sched­. uled to conduce its first test on October 2 in Kindersle~·, Saskatchewan. Unfortunately, thc

flight has been putonhold until futthernoticedue to' avai1'lbility issues wiih some key components. \'\'hat makes the Da "inci Project stand out amongst other teams·is the launch method of its Wild Fire rocket. \Vtld Fire 'Will be transported . 80,boo feet up bya reusable helium balloon before being launched. Da Yinci Project. is also ihe only team to be staffed completely by volunteers,

Canadian Arrow, based in London, Ontario has successfully tested their 57,000 pound thrust engine, built simulators and training equipment and developed oihervital components. The suc­cessful maiden flight of the crew cabin was also conducted in August. Waterloo Space Society is currently planning to visit Canadian Arrow to

receive some first-hand inforrru'ltion on Arrow's progress.

This is an extremely exciting time for all spacS enthusiasts. Just as prizes were offered in the early 20th century to jumpstartthe aviation industry, x-

. . Michael L. Davenport IMPRINT STAFF

Like a virgin. blasting into space for, the very firs~ time Maybe ygu've never heard of Sir Richard Bratrson, the man who founded 'Virgin records (of Sex Pistols and Rolling Stones fame), es­tablished a radio station, crossed the Atlantic and the English Ch.annel in record time and was knighted by the Queen of England for "services to entrepreneurship."'\x'hat crazy, wacky, mixed up things do you think a guy like that would be doing right now?

The obvious answer is going to space. The new company is named Virgin Galac­

tic, keeping with the naming convention es­tablished by Yirgin Wines, Virgin Trains, Yir­gin Cars, Virgin Energy and, not least of all, Virgin Rec'ords (Branson is a busy man). Yir­gin Galactic just signed a dea:l to have five "spaceliners" built in the U.S. These spaceliners will be larger versions of the SpaceShipOn~ design, SpaceShipOne currendr poised to win the famed X-Prize, Branson haS planned fot;. and around Yirgin Galactic for m'er five rears now, so this is by no means a spur-of-the­

moment idea: But ac~allr having designs and ordering spacecraft lends a sort of credibility to all the buzz.

The goal is to provide private trips to

space by 2007. Want a ride? The cost is estimated atUS 51 ~O, 000 per soot - which, frankly, is cheaper than a ride on one of NASA's 52.1 billion space shuttles. It's esti­mated .that US 5100 million will be invest.cd. in both developing. th~ infrastructure and spaceship research and development. If you're wondering who would spend that kind of moner just to go to sub-orbital heights, ju~t think of it as the Ferris wheel of the 21 st century!

Oh yeah, Sir Branson JUSt signed an agrce­ment to start an airline in Nigeria, too. \'{'hat havc),oll becn doing with your life?

mdavenport@imprint.uwaterloQ.ca

Priz~ is the modem mother of all promotions .geared toward commercial human space flights. Even though such a flight may iiJitially last for only 15 minutes, market surveys show that ihere are at

.least 10,000 Americans who are willing to pay 5100,000 for dashing ihrough space. The zeal shown toward X-Prize is the marked characteris­tic of risk-taking entrepreneurs, often irrational dreamers and anyone who refuses to be held back by limits or government fun~ ..

Unfortunately, X-Prize's 510 million will be insufficient to compensate for the winning team's total expenditures. It'will, hpwever, create a new generation of heroes, inspire students and bring attention to this new business frontier. Spacccrafts built for X-Prize "ill eventually serve space tour­ism, low cost satellite hunching; same day pack­age delivery and rapid point-to-point passenger travel. This is inspiration arid cntrepreneurship at its astronomical best.

Rates: 30 Words/over 20 + GST Fee-Paying·Students:$5.00 1.15'

Non-Students:$10.001.25 Busine,ss/Students:$15.001.25

TERM SUBSCRIPTIONS Fall or Winter $17.75

Summer $8.00

HOUSING Room for rent for a quiet individual in a detached home near both universities. Parking and all amenities. Please call 725-5348. .' • .

TUTORS, Tutor available for linear algebra and calcu'Ius. Please e-mail Mouli at mathmentor9@yahoo.com.

HELP WANTED Part-time Nanny needed fot two chil­dren, ages 1 1/2 and 4 1/2. Afternoons and early evenings, 10 to 20 hours per week in' Waterloo area. Send resume to ericandkrissy@rogers.com .

Now hiring for kitchen positions at Mel's Diner. Extremely competitive wages in an exciting and challenging restaurant. Apply in person, with resume to: Mel's Diner, 7 - 140 University Ave. W. W iter-100, Ontario (Right next to Loose Change Louie's).

Earn $100- work one day!)5 general labourers needed to assist with a special project at Sportsworld. Safety shoes re­quired. Work is scheduled for Tuesday Sept. 28/ rain date - Wednesday Sept. 29 9:00 a.m. - 5:00 p.m. Location on bus route. Call Ashley at 578-9030 x. 313. 'Perfect weekend job. Five hours over noon h~ur 12:00 - 2:30 p.m. on Saturday and Sunday: Attendant care for a 40-year. old man, aqlladraplegic who needs help with eating, etc. Ability to drive an asset. Lives dose to UW. To. apply call 519-883-0641 o~ send resume·toA. Reitzel at 44-50 Blue Springs Dr. Waterloo, ON N2J 4M4. Weekend counsellors and relief staff to work in homes for individuals with de­velopmental challenges. Minimum eight­month commitment. Paid positions. Send resume to Don Mader, K-W Habilitation Services, 108 Sydney Street, Kitchener, ON, N2G3V2.

Models required - part-time, face, and nude models, male and female, all ages . for sculptor. Please incl~de photo and send to P.O. Box 424, Kitchener, On­tario N2G 3Y9 .. Volunteer co-ordinator required by Im­print September 7 to December 3; for a maximum of 85 hours. Must qualify for work study plan. The volunteer co­ordinat~r will bring knowledge' and re­sources to volunteers that will aid in the production of Imprint Publications. He/ she will provide traihing to volunteers so that they are better able to fulfill their duties and responsibilities as Imprint Publications volunteers. He/she will be available for {juestions, training and con-

sultation with volunteers .for approxi­mately 10 hours per week. AlSCl to act'as a co-ordinator for clubs day and Im­print's official "welcomer." If interested, bring your resume to Laura Katsirdikis,

. room 1116, Student Life Centre or e­mail'to editor@imprint.uwaterloo.ca.

Production assistant required by Im­print September 7 to December3, 'for a maximum of 85. hours. Must qualify for work study plan. The production' assist­ant will aid in the production of the newspaper on a weekly basis braiding volunteers and organizing resources. The production assistant will lend support.to editorial staff on Tuesday and Wednes­day nights and will help ensure produc­tion runs smoothly. The production as­sistant's main priority is toensur,!: the speedy completion of 1~youts;1ncludlng maximizing the t,enefitofTuesday's pro­duction by producing as-m~y firs-t proofs as possible. Carididf\.tes should be profi­cient with AM6e PageMaker· 6.5 and ' photoshop. KnoWledge of Quark and Indesign are strong assets,. If interested, bring your resume to La,t.ra Katsirdakis, room 1i16,Studelltl:ife.Centre .or e­mail to editor@impi'int.uwatefloo.ca.

SERVICES "Ultimate Questions" The Lord Jesus' Christ is the difference. Learn about Him. Bible study by correspondence. Please send name and address to.: Bible study, Zion United R.eformed,Church 1238 Main St. Sheffield, ON LORIZ0 or email bible@zurch.~n.ca. See Web site': www.zurch.on.ca click ori Links.ask for book. Sign up today, its free. Essay HeIp' - Need help with any of your essays? Take the help of highly qualified graduates. We are able to work at all aca­demic levels and cover most academic subjects. Top quality writing, editing, and research provided. Call toll free to Cus­tom Editing Services 1-888-345-8295, customessay@bellt1et.ca or custom essay .com Fax: 1-416-960-0240. •

Term P<lper help from dedicated writing • professionals with more than 30 years

experience. E.S.L., research and writing, editing ,and proofreading;. entrance let­

'tersand thesis help. Toll Free 1-888·345-8928 or cutomessay.com. Bessie's Dressmakers - providesaltera­tions for women and men at 22 King Street, S., Waterloo, between O.w. Sports and Home Hardware. Open Monday to Friday 9 a.m. to 5 :30 p.m. and Saturday 9:30 a.m. to 1:00 p.m. Call 747-3565.

Free Apartment Finder Services! Over 8000 apartments in our database. We make appointments, you save time! High rise, low rise, town homes, furnished arid urtfurnished. All prices! Call now for this free service. 310-7000.

Sushi delivery servic~ - tasty sushi at your fingertips! Only $IQ for 18 pieces every Thursday night. Salmon, california, veggie rolls and specials. Free delivery 6:00 p.m. to 12:00 a.m. E-mail your or­der/menu information to ThursdayNightSushi@hotmail.com.

~," 56 Spa~ Street, Ottawa, ON

My contribution of $'---------:-'i1 enclosed.

Name: ' 1 K1P 581 '~ Tel.: (613) 234-6827 Fax: (613) 234-6842

\ Address: _____ -,-_______ ----

Please send me information on how to make a gift to USC 'in my will.

CHARITY REGISTRATION NO. 11927-6129·RR 0001

ANNOUNCE Need food or short of cash? The'Feds food bank is a confiden"'tial student-run food bank that provides non-perishable

. goods to UW students in need. Visit us in the Student Life Centre, room 2108 or you can e-mail us at: uwfoodbank@hotmail.com.

Philosophy in Action. Join a discussion that looks at how philosophy applies to everyday life. Saturdays and Wednesday~ at 7:00 p.m. in downtown Kitchener -742-4433 (leave.message)., .

UW Coqnsellihg' Services - Personal growth and study skills workshops, Spring 2004. Self-esteem Enhancemerrt starts May 26,. Wednesdays 4:30.6:30

.p.m. ; Rebuilding: A Healing Journey Through Relationship Loss starts, May 25, Tuesdays 3:00 -5:00 p.m. ; Asser­tive Communication starts May 26, Wednesdays' 2:00 - 4:00 p.m. ; Study Skill~ starts May 18 6:00 - 8:00 p.m. or May 19 9:30 - 11:30 a.m. ; Essay Writ~ ing to be announced; Effective Writing: Grammar and Style to be announced ; Report Writing to be announced and Pre­paring for and Writing Exams on June 8 and June 9. Looking for career directions? Explore Interest Assessment (May to July) or Exploring Your Personality Type (May to July). On June 24,3:00 - 4:30 p.m., Getting Started in Career Exploration. For more info on the above workshops/ courses visit Needles Hall, room 2080 ~r call 888-4567, ext 2655.

Check out all the events happening in the Student Life Centre at http:// www.studentservices.uwaterloo.ca/slc/ events.htm.

VOLUNTEER Volunteer with a child at their school and help improve their self-esteem;and cOn{j,. dence. One to three hours a week com­mitment. Call Canadian Mental Health at 744-7645, ext 317.

Weekday/Weekend train statiOI} tourist greeters. During September and through Octoberfest, the former Waterloo Train Station will offer historical exhibits and tourist information to visitors. Friendly and responsible adults are required for three-hour volunteer shifts to greet and assist visitors. Voluteers will work in pairs. Call Anne at 885-8828 to volun­teer.

Family Oktoberfest event seeks helpers. Spass 'N Spiel needs you! Help out at this . fun and friendly Oktoberfest famlIyevent on' Sunday, October 17th. Adults and teens -(age 16 +) can volunteer to serve· food, sell tickets, or run sport challenge .and game activities. Call Chris at 885~ 1220 ex~. 241. to volunteer. , Singers Wanted - The Wayne Gilpin Singers invites all singers (especially ten­.nrs and basses) to audition for its forth­coming season. The Wayne Gilpin Sing­ers is a chamber choir based in Waterloo. Rehears<vs are held every Monday evening from 7:30 - 9:30 p.m. at Luther Village Chapel, 139 Father David Bau'er Drive. The exciting 2004/2005 season will in­clude three concerts beginning with "Shout the News" in Novermber. The ,Singers will also be rec~rding their sec­ond CD in the spring. Interested singers should call 1-800-867-3281 to arrange a­singer-friendly audition'or f~r more in­formation.

LIBRARY Monday, September 27

Library Tours: Dana Porter Libraty and Davis Centre Library 10:30 a.m., 11:30 a.m., 1:30p.m., 2:30 p.m. 6:00 p.m. Meet at tbe Iruormation Desk. Tuesday, September 28 .. FindJournalArticlesfast: 10-11:20a.m. Arts and social sciences students: In this hands-on session you will be introduced to seaching for articles online and to making effective use of electronic journals and full-text articles. Register in advance: www.lib.uwaterloo.ca!useredlform! Held in FLEX lab, 3rd floor, Dana P.orter Li-brary. .

ULLETIH Trellis - fina books, course notes, <;tc., in tpe Library 2:30 - 3:20 p.m. Learn the

, key search features of Trellis through this hands-on worksho.p. Registltr in advance at www.lib.uwaterloo.ca/useredlforml Held in FLEX lab; 3rd floor, Dana Por­ter Library . Library Tours: Dana Porter Library and Davis Centre Library 10:30 a.m., 11:30 a.m" .1:30 p.m., 2:30 p.m. 6:00 p.m. Meet at the Information Desk. Wednesday;September 29

2004Find Journal Articles fast. 10 " 11 :20 a.m. Science and engineering stu­dents: In this hands-on session you will be introduced to seaching for articles online and to' making effective use of electronic journalS and full-text articles. Register in advance: www.lib.uwaterloo.caluseredlform! Held in FLEX lab, 3rd floor, Dana ,Porter Li­brary. Also offered Thursday Sept. 30, same time. Library Tours: Dana Porter Library and Davis Centre Library 10:30 a.m., 11:30 a',m., 1:30 p.m., 2:30 p.m. 6:00 p.m.

· Meet at the Information Desk.

Thursday, September 30, 2004

Library Tours: Dana Porter Library and Davis Centre Library 10:30 a.m.; 11 :30 a.m., 1:30 p.m., 2:30 p.m. 6:00 p.m. Meet at the Information Desk.

Friday, October 1, 2004, .

Library Tour$:Dana'Port~~ibraryand Davis Centre Library 10:30 a.m., fl:30 a.ril:, 'l:30p·;m",f:30p.in. Meet at the 'Information Desk.'· X"" .

UPCOMING Sa~rday, Sept~mber 25,2004 Auction Sale: 9:30 a.m. 41 Louisa Street

of the City of Kitchener Artist In Resi­dence Program! 7:00 p.m. Rotunda Gal­lery. This celebratiqn will feature an ex­hibition of the work of all 9 artists and will welcome Tony Urquhart as the Art­ist-In-Residence for 2005.

Saturday! October 9, 2004 26th Great Oktoberfest Barrel Race at King Street between William St. and Wil­lis Way. 10 a.m. - 12 noon; Each team has 4 "rollers." Please register by 9:30 a.m.

. 519-885-1921.

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

University of Waterloo Student Artisan Sale & Exhibition. Student Life Centre. Studepts pick up your applications(s): please see Nancy O'Neil room 211 1, SLC.

CECS Friday, September 24, 2004

Career Services Workshops: Letter Writing: Learn how to use letters to your advantage in the job search. 2:30 - 3:30 p.m. TC 2218.

,Resum~ Writing: Discover techniques for writing an effective resume. 3:30 - 4:30 p.m. TC 2218

Register online for these workshops at www.careerservices.uwaterloo.ca. Saturday, September 25,2004

Career Services Workshops: Increase ypur chances of a successful applicaJion to medscboQI through ap­~ropiiai~'ilq4s:t.~adll~~e course selec­tlon,ta<;tlcs for I~VJJ:!gcyour grad!!s, advice on paidlvolunt!!<: ' d ex-tracurricular activities and mo heck the Career'Servic~'''Workshops & Events" Web site for registr~tion details. 6 - 10 p.m.TC 2218. " ,

Baden. Items include contractor's tools Monday,'September 27, 2004 (excellent oondition), 10" delta contrac- Co-op job postings (Main & Account-

:tors table saw, &"general j(}ijt~ V2'~"ing) available at 6:0(),a.m. Note:,n~;lin': ithickness,pla~er-router ta,1l~4" '.>",0>refers to 'Studerits4Il'&MS"Am, Environ..; router-3 compressors nail guns, huge as- mental'Studies, Engim,ering, Math and sortm.ent of hand and pow~rtools, exten- Science. . .. / .. // sionladdets. professioniItmechaniCtools' , , Including snap ont" ,4 a,i1<{wr Work/StudY'i\:bt", .. d Fair 11:00 <\.JR/.

, 'v',, .5,O'tt p':rri'. Gf'eat Hall, SLC. ',' . ~ockets, "wrenches, t ch, etc.

" Baby i terns: two plll- ' , " . "chairs; 3 strollers, change table, etq;>Numerous

· household items and furnirure.

Monday, Septembc;t 27, 2004

New Zealand Strillg Quartet. Arguably the finest southern .hePHsphere quartet, the NZ have made friends aroun,d the world. Hear them at 8"0'0 p.m. KWCMS Music Room 57 Young,St: w., Waterloo .• www.\-wcms.com, ' 'email: i0vcms@yahoo.ca, 519-886-1673. Work/Study., Abroad (WSANet) Fair at UW- The 6th animal 'WSANet Interna­tional Opportnities Fair" is being held in the Great Hall; Student Life Centre from 11:00 a.m. to 3:'00 p.m. There are 40 educational agencies participating in this event representing institutions from the Australia, United States, Europe and Canada. Several interesting possibilities exist for CanadiansIUW students to be­come involvedin international volunteer/

· work and study abroad exchange pro­grams throughout the world. For more info please contact Maria Lango, Inter­national Programs Office, ext 3999 or mvlango@uwaterloo.ca.

Tuesday, September 28, 2004

"Spoken Word" with Heather Majaury. Davis Centre, room 1301, 12:05 - 12:50 p.m. Bring your lunch and relax. This venue is open to all employees of' the University of Waterloo. Brought to you by your UWRC. Contact: UWRC@admmail.uwaterloo.ca.

Friday, October 1,2004 "In the AIR" - an exciting panel of very <;reative and dynaniic individuals who will be discussipg public art and the City of Kitchener's Artist In Residence pro­gram. 4:30 - 5:45 p.m. at Artery, 158 King St. Kitchener. Held just before the Artist in Residence 10th Anniversary Gala Reception. Artist In Residence 1 'Oth Anniversary Gala Reception. At City Hall, Kitchener. 7:00 p.m.

AIR 10 Year Anni\!ersary - please join us in celebrating the 10th Year Anniversary

Career Services Works\1~I>s; Making'the Career Fair Work for You: • Learn the "do's" and "don'ts" of this ex­cellent networking and ~e~rdi opportu­nity. Register online at

.www.careerservices.uwaterloo.ca. 10:30 ~i(t~30 a.m. TC 2218.

TUl!sday; September 28, 2004

c:;o-op job postings (Main & Account­ing) ~Iose at 11:59 p.m. Career Services Workshops:

Starting Your Own Business - Next Steps: Picking up where "The Basics" -left off, this workshop will offer a more in-depth discussion on start-up issues: strategy and operational tactics. Note: .this session is limited to 15 participants. Register online

.at www.careerservices.uwatedoo.ca. 5:30 - 6:30 p.m. TC 1208 .

Wednesday, September 29, 2004 Co-op job postillgs (Main & Account­ing) available at 6:00 a.m.

Career Fair 10:00 a.m. - 3;30 p.m., RIM Park, Waterloo

Thursday, September 30, 2004

Co-op' job postings (Main & Account­. ing) close at 11:59 p.m.

Career Services Workshops

Interview Skills: The Basics. Understand tlYe fundamentals of successful inerviewing. Note: much of this Infor­mation is similar to the Co-op 101 In­terview Skills session. 3:30 - 4:40 p.m. TC 2218

Interview Skills: Preparing for Questions. Discuss and learn from taped excerpts of actual interviews.

Thinking about Graduate Studies? Find out the stops to apply to· graduate and .professional school. Program research, applications, references, interviews and admission process will be discussed. 2:30 - 3:30 p.m. EC 2218

Teach: Information session about teacher training and other study abroad pro­grams. 11:00 a.m. - 1:00 p.m. TC 1208 Register for career services workshops at www.careerservices.uwaterloo.ca.

FRIDAY.OCTOBER 1, 2004

Warrior Watch Waterloo scoreboard· -"PIle!.

Two former field hockey Warriors help U of T fatly to tie . .

UW alumni Robin Leslie and Julia Morton now play against -PW Rod McLachlan

:.lMPRINTSTAFF

Like a lot of things in life, sports teams are often labelled and placed into opposing categories like favour­ite and underdog. When dis.cussing the Waterloo Warriors field hockey team, which has captured the OUA's top prize for the past two consecutive seasons, one would think that un~ derdog would be ,the last moniker that people would use to describe UW'steam. - ButunderdogisexactlywhatWa­

terloo is being called these days, says Wartior head coach Dave Hammond,.

since "two oEW aterloo's finest alumni [are] playing for [the U ofT Varsity Blues hield hockey team] this ye~' -them being the U ofT Varsity Blues

. field hockey team. UW alumni Julia ' Morton and Robin Leslie are the two players who have turned U ofT into the team to beat. •

On Sunday, September 26, Leslie and Morton were part of the reason that U of T was able to rally to a 1-1 tie against UW. However, earlier in the day the Warriors were able to defeat McGill 2-1. .

"[Morton and Leslie playing for U ofT] has certainly presented us with a challenge - Robin currently plays

for Canada - but it's also given us extra motivation," confessed coach Hammond.

"Even though we'v;e won the OUA gold the last two seasons, ap­parentl), we're still the underdog, which is fine by me.

"When you look across the field, and see players who represented Wa­

, terloo for four years and helped us to win an OUA championship, there's

· no question that it makes us more determined to show that we can'suc­ceed with the next generation ofWa­terloo players.;'

'. Ii: must be noted, however, how · much skill these two a:thletes actually have. The first season Leslie broke into the league with UW, she was named OUA and CIS rookie of tl:ie year and when she left Waterloo she had been inducted into the universi- ' ty's hltllof fame for being UW's 2002-2003 female athlete of the year. Play­ingfor the Warriors, Morton was no slouchherseif and was rewat:ded as a CIS all~Canadian in 2001-2002.

''The U ofT game'was very tight indeed," commented coach

· Hammond.. ADAM MCGUIRE

n.' l'Afterscoringearly, thepiaywerLt' .<~'$ Vteki~_~~.tl,a close eye oA>a,(5uCtlpQ·QPponent. back and forth fortherest~fthefirst '".'"." ... ,.' " " " ' . "",, '0 .. ," , ',~ ;-",'"

the game, Hamilton native Janet French knotted the scor~ atone apiece:

Earlier in the day, at noon, Water-

try. half. Toronto h~dmore of thepla}' in the second half and I was disap­pointed that Toronto tie'd the game, but the measure of a good team is how they play under pressure. De­spite letting in a goal, our girls did no! let up and we held on for a well­deserved tie."

• 100 defeated the McGill Martlets 2-1.

Next up, the Warriors will travel' totheGTAtoplaytheY~rkLionson Saturday, October 2 at noon and then return home to play the Carleton' Ravens at 6 p.tp. that same night. On the following.day, October 3, Water­loo will host the Queen's Golden Gaels in;ul early morning match. In spite of a,number of injuries,

.the Warriors were able to defend against the exceptional movement of the U of T players through, solid forward pres,sure and stifling hits from the backfield. Second-year for­ward Ailison Pay put theWartiors on the board with a first-half rebound goal from a short comer. .

. ADAM MCGUIRE

Warrior defender Michelle John advances the ball during.first half action last Wednesday against the Guelph Gryphons.

In the second half, a detertnined Toronto team finally solved Water­loo's defence. In the 45thrninute of

THIS WEEK IN ATHLETICS

S SAXON

John led the Warriors to a 17-14 victory over the Queen's Golden Gaers in. Kingston on Saturday afternoon. John recorded 7 taCkles and two sacks in 'helping the Warriors defeat Queen's for the first time in their team history.

Warrior second-year forward Martina Mardlin and McGill's Denise Jaworsky traded goals in the first half of the contest. After being embar­rassed 5-0 versus Waterloo on Sep- " tember 19, McGill seemed to be de­tlrmined to tum in a grittier perform­ance. Nevettheless,Jessica Button tallied the game-wiruier for Waterloo in the second half.

More recently, the Wartiorswona critical game on Wednesday night against the Guelph Gryphons 2 to 1. Waterloo's current record stands at 4-0-2 and as of this week the Warriors ru:e the sixth-raOked team in thecoun-

Saturday, Oct. 2 (W) 1:00 pm vs York Lions, (W) 1:00pm vs Guelph Gryphons,

UWNorth Campus Field 1

These ~es represent a critical crossroad ill the Wartiors' path to the playoffs.

"The league is very tight this year 'so we will need to win our games this weekend as well, if we plan to contend for first place," said Hammond.

- with files from UW athletics

rmclachlan@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

v~ Western Ontario Mustangs, UWField2

vs WLU Golden Hawks, University Stadium

Kelly made several key saves and played exceptionally well for the Warriors to earn her first shut-out of the season as the Warriors tied Carleton 0-0. 'This was Kelly's first start of the season as goalkeeper for Waterloo.

26 I '1\ II l' ')'I) I l'\JTm ' IV' .'1 .' I •.. ..i.., •.•.• \: .... t .l. FRIDAY, OCTOBER 1, 2004

Warriors slump·destroys playoff hopes

Bettman's bravado caused labour strife

In two weeks; men's baseball team crashes froin fttst to fifth Rod Mclachlan IMPRINT STAFF

The Warriorsmen'~ baseballteam, which started the season atop the OUA standings (5-3-0) and seemed destined for the postseason, has cra.shed d9wn to the basement of the league after losing six straight games to end the season. In the process, UW (8-1 0-0) fellintoa three­way tie with Toronto and Lauiier and as aresultfaile9-tomaketheplayoffs-the tiebreaker went ~ Toronto.'

reason for' the meltdown during the coach said he didn'tlet the season drift stretchdrive.ThefactthatWaterl<x>only out of reach without a fight. registeredfourruns __________ ._~ "I shook the

over a span of six line-up up a bit to

games seems to "I think it was a try and get things . drive home Bish- going. I changed

op's comments. sh~ck to a' I~t of . somepositionplay-

''I think it was a people [that the shocktoalotofpeo-pIe [that the team' team didn't

. didn't make the playof~s]," said

erg."

Regardless of the adjus.tments, the Warriors ,re­mained in· a weeklongfunkand

I· Adam McGuire

We1cometothe Tzw-minuteW ~4ockey lockout commentary.

Afterresistingtheutgetohash,rehash and over-hash the most talked-about issue in pro-sport today, I have finally given in to .the temptation .

But this is not your everyday lockout column,~tiSeIamrefusingto straddle thepro~erbia1fenceand suggest the two sides come to an ambiguous conclusion that will miracu-

gled itselfbelow the limbo bar set by the league, conceding to a wholesale five per 'centsalaryrollback,at<X>kiesalarycapand

. even a luxury tax. And any tirrie a labour union proposes a taxofany kind, you can be sure theya.re c;ompiorriisingtheirbest. interests ..

The luxury tax would be able to play RobinHoodin the league, takingrevenue \ from high-spending clubs andredisttib­utingittothepoorerteams. Thesalarycap . would accomplish littlci else asi<j.e from putting another notch in cap-tnaster Bettman's Gucci belt.

EvenBettman's arguments are weak,. especiallywhenhe claims a direct corre­lation exists between a team's'revenue and success. Both of last year's Stanley

Cup finalists, the TampaBay light­

Adding insult to injury, three of UWs last six losses w't:re by 1 ~O scores, two losses in a doubleheader against Brock and one game versus WLU:Wa~ terloo's losing streak began on Septem­ber22with4-1 arid 11-1 losses to Gl,lelph and continued last weekend with the pair of losses to Brock and tWo more dropped decisions to WLU, 5-2 and 1-O.

• Bishop in a tel­ephone interview. ''The guys leamed that the season is shortand things can go bad in a h~'.

make the playoffs]. The guys learned .

that the season is short and

things can go bad in a hurry."

. were unsuccessful in returning to the p 0 s t s'e a son. Bishop alsQ· shrugged' off the' suggestion that playing six games in fivedays was too muchforUW.

lously just "work forboth sides." In the midst of

ning and Calgary Flames, are in the bo.ttomhalfofthe league's. payroll list. 2003 finalist Anaheim and 2Q02finalistCaro­lina are two more

"We couldn~t get any tirriely hits and we left a lot of . stranded runners," continued a de­jec~edBishop. ''We

- Brian Bishop, Warriors' head coach Looking ahead

to next season; Bishop said that

thecoachingstaffwillwork-hardoverthe winter and the players will try to improve their play over the summer.

ButI amgoing to take a stand on thehockeylockout. .t\nd here it is ...

The players are right,theownersare

suffering withdrawl from the NHL hiatus,

people have simply forgotten

that NHI,..

Last season, Waterloo was on'the positive side ofa five-way tie and enteted the playoffs, where theylostin the first round to the McMaster MataUders:

lost three games 1-0: Hats off to the guys who pitched against us."

UWheadcoachBrian Bishop points to a team-wide hitting slump as the

However, 'as the hitting slump be­can:ie more apparent, the Warriors head

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wrong. Period.

When asked what would make fora good season nex:tyear,Bishop said, "the same as this year, but to hit better.

In the midst of suffering 'with­drawal from the NHL hiatus, peo­plehavesimplyfor­gotten that NHL commissioner Gaty Bettmanisan

commissioner Gary

. penny-pinching clubs that swa,m to the top of the heaprecently.And to make '

Bettman is an Bettman's case 'worse, the richer teams have strug­gled LUO.

"Our pitching and defence were our strong point," offered Bishop. ''1 think the guys'had a good experience."

arrogant jackass.

Aiding rp.e Warriors in making the postseasonqextyearwill be the retum of almost all of this year's players. Gradu­atingstartingpitcher Dave Cornelius is the onlyplayer at this tirriethatthe coach knows won't pe returning in 2005.

With some strong guidance from . Bishop, whowaslastJ~ar'sOUAcoach . of the year, there's no telling how far the Warri9rs will go.

rmclachlan@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

ignQrantjackass. Period. Bettman has taken a hell~bent-for~

salary~cap approach, threatening to ruin hockey like only an American can. But

. Bettman-bashingaside, the commission­er's complete unwillingn.ess to discuss any proposal void of a salary cap only strengt\1ens the case of the NHLPlayer's Association~dits bargainingboss,Bob Goodenow. .

The players' union has alreaqy wig-

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The league's biggest payroll, the New York Rangers, have missed the playoffs in the 'last seven years. And the Toronto J\;Iaple Leafs, also one of the NHL's better-off clubs, haven'twon a cup sn{ceBettman was negotiating with his mother for a post-nap cookie. Basically; a salary cap makes about as much sense as a Mike Tyson monologue.

Bettmanisttyingi:omake~cusesfor '> saturating the hockey market. It's just easier to blame a poor economic system on big contracts than to admit it was a mistakeplacingafranchisein the hockey hofbedofNashville, Tennessee.

And conttaryto what the NHLlegal goonswouldhaveyou believe,Bettrnan's capwilldonothingforskyrocketingticket prices. Itwouldonlygivetheowners catte blanchetosttetch theirpocketsasdeepas they'llgowhilepayingtheirplayersasmall percentageoftheoverallrevenue.

Rightnow, 75 per cent of league rev­enue is paid out in the form of player salaries and, whlle'that number is admit­tedly hig~ a cap would give the own~ 'fr~ reign to collect a huge portion of revenues for themselves and themselves alone.

The players have' bent their stance every way possible, going as far as to recommendaluxU!ytax-atactic~ in bargaining circles as a "compromise." ButBettmanseemshappywithno<:om­promise and no hockey, which only ce­ments the Two-minute Waming official lockout stance:

The players are right and the owners are wrong.

Period.

amcguire@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

ERIDAY, OCT08ER 1, 2004

GridironWatriors top Queen's for first win Adam McGuire IMPRINT STAFF

ouA all-sbrm 2003~tltteatened to render the • Warriors weaponless, as the club knew the iIl­jured stat' ssp~ed and on-field leadership would

TheWatetloo Warriors football club had every be irreplaceable~ But with Forde on the sidelines, reason to play uninspired football when they Tpiantaftlousaidhewas thrilled with the way his traveled to Kingston to face Queen's last week- , te~ rallied after the loss of their top receiving end. Instead, UW came up with one of their threat; most complete efforts of the season, claiming "[I] didn't know how they were going to their first win of 2004 in the process. resp,ond:' Trianta(llou said. "It just shows the

After a disheartening 55-33 loss to York in,,: )dds',innsr:~or~ttlde:';';:', ' , theirhomeopener~agamewherethey lostsrar '<,A' AccordiiigtolUs co3:th,Morb6ytook'control receivetIanForde for the seasonwith'aleginjury of the offensive unit during the game against '-the Warriors boun~ed back with a gutsy 17-14 Queen's, as Triantaftlou p~aised the mental in-victory over the Queen's Golden Gaels lastweek- tangibles'ofhis thlrd-yearpivot. '; end, as Watetlooimptoved their record to 1-2.:: ,"He>s turned thatcorner," Trianta.filoucom-0-1 on the season. mented.' 'fHehad a good sense of what would

"It's nice to get the two points," said UW w,ork'and what wouldn't [against Qileen's].'" head coach ChrisTriantafil,ou. "[The team] just' NDW', with theirfustwin undertheitbelts, the played their hearts ,out." Warri,ors willtuin their attenti,on t,o what is

Rookie kicker Ian Nichol made three ,out,,ofarguably the.b.iggestgame ,of the"season ~ a feur field goal attempts and quarterback Jon showdown with the province's ,only unbeaten MDrbey threw for 200 yards to lead the balanced club;cros'!Ftownrivals the WilfridLautierGolden WarriQrs offensive attack, but it was Wat::rloo's Hawks. defense that dictated the game's pace right from The Hawks, coming ofEa tlu:ll!IDg34-33 the ,opening kickoff. " '.' , ,". , :homecQmin~'V"ftt6ry over, powerhouse

While the Warriors allowed 388 y~ds~f t9!,al ,., JykMaSter, sit at 4-0 and are currendyranked thitd offense against the Gaels, their stingy- defe11'Se in the CIS national top ten. But even with heldQueen'soutoftheen~Z9q~~e:W:0&,' ,J-autier's reputation' ;as' Ontario's top club, markofthefourthq~~'B);thatpoint, Wa~r~ Triantafilousaidhisplayerswouldbemorethan 100 ha(hu~a~assed al'7"11atd. OUA>fu~t~, ' • feady for the emotionally chargedrnatch-upthis team ~ safety of2003J ~Sullivatl.JeQth~ Saturday. war"forthe Wattiors defen:~i, ~ecor~ ~even . "[The team's] energy level is very high,"

. taekleS'ah:d~ sacks in ~lttot1-ButAccord-·" Triantafilousaid: '''We just have tQ rnak,e sure it·. ing toSVaterloo's coach, the d~~.el:J9it~t. comes down to execution anddiscip1ine." : forth a total,team effprt.",,~· The annual battie ofW aterloo will take place

,"They played with·~·I'bt''6fCliscip1ine,~> tomorrow (October 2) at University Stadium. Triantaftlousaidofhisclub.''We~corpplished Game time is 7 p.m.

'wbilt we wanted to do on defense." ., -, .. . "the 10ssr;P;F1i&1-.:.;;:a1iofh& :;;"'~

.rrllr Iclr.lIlard SftPtember ·25~-?6 .

Football (M) September 25, Warriors 17, Queen's 14

Ice Hockey (W) September 26, Warriors 0, Brock 2

Rugby(M) September 26, Warriors 5,McMaster43

Rugby (W) September 25, Warriors 21, Queen's 0

Soccer (M) September 26, Warriors 1, Carleton,2,

Soccer (W, September 25, Warriors 1, Ottawa 3 September 26, Warriors 0, Carleton 0

Tennis(M) September 25, Warriors 3, Brock 4 September 25, \'V'arriors 3, York 4

Tennis(W) September 25, Warriors 2, McGill 5 September 26, Warriors 1, York 6 September 26, Warriors 3, TorpntoA

Upcolling Gallel October '·7

Field Hockey October 2 at York, 12 p.m. October 2 vs. Carleton (at York), 6 p.m. October3vs. Queen's (at York) , 10a.m.

Soccer (M, Qctober2vs. WesteJ;n, 1 p.m . . October 3 at Trent, 1. p;m.

S~ccer (W) Qctober 2 vs. Western, 3 p.m. October 3 at Trent, 3 p.m.

Football October 3 vs. Wilfrid Laurier, 7 p.m.

Golf(MW) October L~t W"terloo Invitational OC~9be~1t8 atWestern Invitational"

t::JOC;~f.!y (IVI),. c'

Q~tober 2.) at Yot~ 1.".ol.1rnament <'-' ,,' ," '. ~,:"" ¥ ,.<

Hockel· (\if ;;;: <

()ctobt;:r 1 vs. Wilfrid Laurier (Ex.), 7 :30 '~ p.lp-.

6hoher 3 vs. Cambridge (Ex.), 2 p,m;-~.... ~ if ....

RugbY(W~·· OctOber 2 vs.Y ork, 1 p.m.

Tennis (MW) Oetober 1-2 OUA Championship at

Western October 2 VS. Western, 3 p.m. .. October 3 at Trent, 3 p.m.

Swimming (M W) October 6 v\ Guelph, 5:30 p.m.

Volleyball (W, October 1-3 Waterloo Invitational

WlJJJJJ.afhletics.tlJJJafer/oo.ca

AOAM MCGUIRE

The UW defensive unit. shown here during practice dnlls last week, came;. big in Waterloo's 17-14 win over Queen's. "

FEDERATION OF STUDENTS UniversltyatWaterloo

Notice of Annual General Meeting

NOTICE IS HEREBY GIVEN OF THE ANNUAL GENERAL MEETING of the Federation of Students, UniversityofWaterlQo. a corporation under the laws of the Province of Ontario, to be held:

Wednesday, Oct6ber 27th, 2004, 4:30pm, SlC Great hall'

The$genda for the meeting will include bylaw cha~ and the presentation of the auditor's report for 2003-2004.

Any other item for the agenda of this meeting must.be in the hands of the President of Federation of Students by 4:30pm, October 8th, 2004 to be considered at the. General Meeting.

BeckyWroe President Federation of Students

\

AI Thurs. October 14

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OCTOBER FREE FOR UW ~, .... --.-:

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